Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Beny and Rowe
Speaker 1: and River Scott. It wasn't untili a scream, but I
Speaker 1: realized that not everything is a dildo, even if you're
Speaker 1: brave enough. Oh Hello, you're watching Chewing the Cud. You're
Speaker 1: lighthearted weekly look through the slightly glittery kaleidoscope. I'm Mike
Speaker 1: Benning Rowe and with me today is someone who really
Speaker 1: is here with full consent. It's River Scott. Hello. Hello,
Speaker 1: how are you doing.
Speaker 2: I'm all right, thank you, and yes I am consenting
Speaker 2: to be here.
Speaker 1: And it's verbal and consistent.
Speaker 2: An enthusiastic at this point, which is good.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So what have you got for us this week?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to bring you a story about White
Speaker 2: Load to Stars next project, and then we're going to
Speaker 2: play a little game.
Speaker 1: But that won't get you all upper clothes and personal
Speaker 1: with River in spot like but on screen now you
Speaker 1: can see the contact details. It's at the coud TV
Speaker 1: on your social media and if you want to catch
Speaker 1: up with us on previous episodes, you can binge us
Speaker 1: on YouTube. Just look for Chewing the Cut.
Speaker 2: You can see the names of people who have reached
Speaker 2: out and touched our souls running along the bottom of
Speaker 2: the screen right now, But now it's time for Mike
Speaker 2: in the buzz.
Speaker 1: Have you been keeping safe in the recent uncle in
Speaker 1: clement weather.
Speaker 2: Yes, I stayed indoors. That's always a good dance pretty much.
Speaker 2: It just didn't get out of bed unless I absolutely
Speaker 2: had to. Okay, the best way. I think that's the.
Speaker 1: Best way of getting through life. Well, storm ewing that's
Speaker 1: been blowing sounds sexy.
Speaker 2: When you say like that.
Speaker 1: It does sound.
Speaker 2: It's not. It's not.
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not the kind of blowing.
Speaker 2: It's just damp and cold.
Speaker 1: We've dated the same person, obviously. Well, it's been leaving
Speaker 1: people baffled as a mysterious white dust has appeared after it's.
Speaker 2: Been gosh, how exciting exactly.
Speaker 1: So, as it's been blowing up and down the country,
Speaker 1: a white dust has appeared and people have been trying
Speaker 1: to work out what it is.
Speaker 2: So there's a white dust. So there's white dust and
Speaker 2: blow up and down the country.
Speaker 1: Yes, So what do you think it could be?
Speaker 2: You put me on the spot. There there's only one answer,
Speaker 2: and it's not what I want to give on national television.
Speaker 1: I'm sure powdered seemen is fine.
Speaker 2: Well that maybe has there been an explosion in a
Speaker 2: powdered milk factory. Could it be a big cloud of
Speaker 2: sma just drifting up and down like formula, up and
Speaker 2: down the country. We're all going to get slightly more
Speaker 2: calcium than usual. That'd be quite nice, yeah, I suppose so.
Speaker 1: Or there's some people risking it, shall we say so?
Speaker 1: Some people pop the fingers through right, getting it a
Speaker 1: little bit of a lick, if you get a tingle
Speaker 1: exactly rubbing on the gums. Turns out it was sea salt, right,
Speaker 1: So it's been basically wafting up the whipping up the sea,
Speaker 1: and as the water evaporated, it took salt with it
Speaker 1: and it just deposited on people's cows.
Speaker 2: So a salty drift, A salty drift, nationwide, salty drift,
Speaker 2: salty drift. Well, I suppose if nothing else, at least
Speaker 2: British food had taste a bit nicer for a little while,
Speaker 2: because it'll be have some flavor to it. We're famous
Speaker 2: for bland foodn't.
Speaker 1: But then also the problem with that is that people
Speaker 1: like myself who are on low sodium diets that could
Speaker 1: kill me.
Speaker 2: Oh that's true. Yeah, another reason to stay in bed exactly.
Speaker 1: Indeed, stay in bed, my brother going outside, Why you risk.
Speaker 2: It to avoid all white powders stay in bed.
Speaker 1: Exactly, or to lick them as they were people were
Speaker 1: trying it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I suppose that's the scientific method, all right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I better than racking up a line of it, I suppose.
Speaker 2: I mean, can you snort salt? Probably not.
Speaker 1: You can snort anything, but once whether rat poison, you
Speaker 1: can snort, just don't.
Speaker 2: It's not for me.
Speaker 1: Not for me, no, no, me, neither. But moving on
Speaker 1: the Olympics. Oh yes, all that time ago.
Speaker 2: Are we going to talk about that high jumper again.
Speaker 2: I've got that on slow. It's my screensaver. It's fantastic
Speaker 2: when people ring me.
Speaker 1: Now it pops upon the screen.
Speaker 2: I'm very sore. I just keep looking at it. But anyway,
Speaker 2: he apparently I did feel bad for the for the
Speaker 2: guy that won the gold medal, because I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, no one's gonna remember, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well done on your gold medal and your tiny, tiny
Speaker 2: penis or anyway not erect.
Speaker 1: I think there is a bit of a trend.
Speaker 2: Actually, this isn't what we're going to talk about, but
Speaker 2: I'm I'm happy to talk. It's a little bit of
Speaker 2: a little bit of a trend of ex Olympic athletes
Speaker 2: or people who are coming to the end of their
Speaker 2: Olympic career. Who are these fantastic athletes who've been training
Speaker 2: their entire lives and the end of their Olympic career
Speaker 2: tends to be like mid to late twenties, who are
Speaker 2: then going I could just do only fans and make
Speaker 2: a lot of money, which is fantastic because I want
Speaker 2: to see all these ridiculously fit, pert and firm people
Speaker 2: banging each other's senseless like like I feel like that.
Speaker 2: I feel like if only fans or pornhubb or someone
Speaker 2: sponsored the Olympic village, it might happen. And just put
Speaker 2: cameras in all the rooms because apparently it is a
Speaker 2: massive bang fest they could make a ton of money
Speaker 2: of Because.
Speaker 1: They famously put cardboard beds out to stop people shagging.
Speaker 2: I mean that doesn't seem like a very French approach,
Speaker 2: because I mean I've known many frenchmen and not many
Speaker 2: of them needed a bed, like they are just something
Speaker 2: to hang on to.
Speaker 1: Good Lord who said romance is dead, but storry about
Speaker 1: the Olympic medals, specifically the gold ones. As to put
Speaker 1: it bluntly, they're forward a bits.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, standards are slipping.
Speaker 1: Very very slippy. So LVMH who are the designer? I've
Speaker 1: gone nothing to do with us. We designed it right.
Speaker 1: It's actually the Prisian mint.
Speaker 2: Okay, which sounds like something you'd pop after a galois
Speaker 2: and a coffee and an espresso, but not that one.
Speaker 1: The people that make the coins for the money and
Speaker 1: the spending.
Speaker 2: Oh right, yes they still use coins.
Speaker 1: How retro papers? What's it? Notes? Paper notes? Paper notes
Speaker 1: to be grand here, but the return them all because
Speaker 1: the eu bann are chemical right right to basically stop cancer,
Speaker 1: which meant that the varnish on the medals wasn't very protective.
Speaker 2: How much cancer can you get from a from an
Speaker 2: Olympic gold made?
Speaker 1: Well? People tend to bite it, don't they? Oh?
Speaker 2: I see, So it's that whole biting and it's it's
Speaker 2: you have to do it a lot, don't you. Anytime
Speaker 2: someone takes picions and doing an interview. Each time it's.
Speaker 1: Not chocolate, don't bother not gonna get a chocolate with?
Speaker 2: Why do they? Oh? It's because it's to test the purity,
Speaker 2: isn't it Because white so.
Speaker 1: Soft, so you should be able to leave teeth prints
Speaker 1: in pure gold. But then but they're not pure gold.
Speaker 2: And also even if it was pure gold and someone said, oh,
Speaker 2: bite it so we can check, and like, no, you
Speaker 2: saw me win, I'm keeping it looking nice. Why do
Speaker 2: I want to put my teeth marks into something that
Speaker 2: is amazing? You don't go too in a trophy?
Speaker 1: Well, so I put teeth marks on something amazing. I
Speaker 1: mean we all the answer to that one.
Speaker 2: We're all back to that hold on for again.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And if you've got something you want to
Speaker 1: bite into, why not share that with us? We're at
Speaker 1: the cod TV on social media and that brings us
Speaker 1: nicely to our story of the week. Have you ever
Speaker 1: been on a cruise? Not cruising a cruise?
Speaker 2: No. I I like to be able to leave a party.
Speaker 2: And I know you get your own room, so it's
Speaker 2: not like you have to like be in a big
Speaker 2: dormitory all that. That does sound fun, but yeah, but I
Speaker 2: liked I like to be able to go away and
Speaker 2: recharge my batteries and come back again. And I think
Speaker 2: I feel like on a cruise you're stuck with them.
Speaker 2: And that's a recipe for squirty murder. Squirty murder, Yeah,
Speaker 2: they really fun kind. It's just like a cocktail. You
Speaker 2: I'll have a sex on the beach in a squirty murder.
Speaker 2: That sounds like one of those mystery series. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, So I don't want to go on a cruise
Speaker 1: because a bit like being trapped in the same place.
Speaker 1: But I like to go out and explore and do things,
Speaker 1: and so just being on a.
Speaker 2: Boat, you could explore other people's cabins and do things, but.
Speaker 1: It's chafing exactly, you know, it's the motion of the
Speaker 1: ocean might put you off.
Speaker 2: Also, I don't know if I get seasick, and I
Speaker 2: feel like spending thousands of pounds on a two week
Speaker 2: chance to find out. It's not the best use of
Speaker 2: money to.
Speaker 1: Get ferry over to France first to see if he
Speaker 1: gets seasick on an hour ferry. Anyway, there's been a
Speaker 1: TikTok like viral video about when they have an ice
Speaker 1: cream party on a cruise ship.
Speaker 2: Is that an euphemism?
Speaker 1: No, No, it's right, lots of ice cream, free ice
Speaker 1: cream have lots of ice cream.
Speaker 2: So is that then just lots of TikTok influencers sitting
Speaker 2: there having horrible headaches for a few minutes. Yes, excellent,
Speaker 2: I like that. More influences should be in pain.
Speaker 1: Exactly that. But the reason they've come out and take
Speaker 1: the reason why is because if there's a death on board,
Speaker 1: they need to put the body somewhere cold, and so
Speaker 1: they put it in the ice cream.
Speaker 2: Freezer, do they? I mean those ships are massive, do
Speaker 2: they not have like a body cupboard dead? That's the
Speaker 2: technical term.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So captains on the cruise ships have come
Speaker 1: out and gone, that's bullshit. If we're having ice cream parties,
Speaker 1: because we've planned an ice cream party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also you would need to have a lot
Speaker 2: of ice cream to do that, exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The reason you die, no, no, she's she's one
Speaker 1: of the influences that is spreading this myth.
Speaker 2: Yea tedious.
Speaker 1: So yeah, basically they're having an ice cream party because
Speaker 1: they're throwing an ice cream party. If someone dies, they'll
Speaker 1: put them in the morgue, right, which is at the
Speaker 1: bottom of the boat, out of the way, nice and cold. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so keep them fresh like the Saladra.
Speaker 2: I remember there was that story about if you die
Speaker 2: on on a plane, they put you in first class
Speaker 2: and put a sleep mask on you and just leave
Speaker 2: you there until you get around.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Up, great, isn't it? Yeah? I need to be
Speaker 1: upgraded by I'm about to die.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm having a heart attack. Could you move me
Speaker 2: to first class and just pop a sleep mask on me?
Speaker 2: Gin and Tonic in one hand.
Speaker 1: I might try that. I'm going away in a bit.
Speaker 1: Can I be upgraded? I've got a dodgy tick. I
Speaker 1: might need to die.
Speaker 2: I mean they'll take one like it you get? Oh shit, yeah,
Speaker 2: come on.
Speaker 1: Make sure I'm not like you. Sure it's not already happened?
Speaker 2: Is it contagious because the rich people don't want it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Right, don't be mean. But that's all for the buzz
Speaker 1: this week.
Speaker 2: Thanks Mike. Always good to know that if I'm feeling seasick,
Speaker 2: I can indulge in a ridiculous amount of dairy products
Speaker 2: that can only possibly make things better.
Speaker 1: Really A shit? You not? You're welcome. Stick right there,
Speaker 1: because come up after this short break, we're going to
Speaker 1: get all to date with celebrity news in the show. BIS.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, and you're watching you in the cud. This
Speaker 1: is the part of the show where we're looking to
Speaker 1: the sparkly side of the world of celebrity and media
Speaker 1: in the show biz with River.
Speaker 2: Leo Woodhall of White Lotus fame. Anyway, he's in a
Speaker 2: new show. It's called Prime Focus, and it's about a
Speaker 2: Cambridge student, postgraduate, clever person doing lots of maths and stuff,
Speaker 2: and he's a big wolf. He's playing a big wolf
Speaker 2: called Edward Brook. That's him quite pretty. You wouldn't kick
Speaker 2: him out of bed for doing calculus, would.
Speaker 1: You, Well, it depends what calculus is really is.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean he could quadratic my equations and
Speaker 2: that's that's the only reference I can make.
Speaker 1: So I'm showing my pythig.
Speaker 2: The square of my hyphpotter. News is he called to
Speaker 2: the some of everyone else's square? Anyway, This pretty young
Speaker 2: man is playing alongside non binary trinket star Quintessa Swindell,
Speaker 2: which is a lovely thing to say. I'm not sure
Speaker 2: what it means because I didn't watch trinkets, but never mind.
Speaker 2: There he is with the correct amount of clothing.
Speaker 1: Well, delightful, you say correct amount of clothing A little
Speaker 1: bit too much?
Speaker 2: A better amount of clothing, certainly, and so his character
Speaker 2: is queer and in a relationship with a lovely young
Speaker 2: man called Adam played by Fraffy, which I always want
Speaker 2: to say froffee. It comes out sound like frothy.
Speaker 1: It sounds like I'm going to Starbucks, So froffy coffee.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd have a free coffee. He's gorgeous. It's
Speaker 2: quite pretty anyway. Yeah, so this is this is the
Speaker 2: star of this new queer not really queer, though he's
Speaker 2: playing a queer character. But in interviews he generally just says, oh,
Speaker 2: it doesn't really come up much. It's just he has
Speaker 2: a boyfriend, all right.
Speaker 1: So he's just a mask who's gay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he's he's a gay nerd, which is good.
Speaker 2: We love a hot gay nerd, do love.
Speaker 1: I wonder whether the real one was actually hot, whether
Speaker 1: they've beautified in Hollywood.
Speaker 2: I was going to say, I don't know many maths
Speaker 2: postgrads who have bodies like that. But I don't know
Speaker 2: many maths postgrads because I'm not that clever and I
Speaker 2: don't have many friends. Okay, which is probably anyway. This
Speaker 2: show Prime Focus was created by Sherlock and Doctor Who
Speaker 2: writer Steve Thompson. Okay cool and yeah, so it's it's
Speaker 2: got some kind of there's some some queerish stuff in there,
Speaker 2: like doctor who's gone a bit gay.
Speaker 1: It's very good.
Speaker 2: It's always been a bit gay, been a bit camp. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's got much worse, well, not worse, it's got
Speaker 2: more a lot better. I mean you could run around
Speaker 2: in his pants a bit more. It was nice. And
Speaker 2: did you watch the regeneration. Yeah, we could have more
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 1: We could have a lot more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be like anyway, we're not here to
Speaker 2: talk about doctor.
Speaker 1: Talk about getting the top off as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so the show this prime focus. It's kind
Speaker 2: of a bit of a spy, kind of like espionage,
Speaker 2: kind of explosions, running down corridors, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: It might be a James Bond.
Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of a bit gay, a bit James Bondy,
Speaker 2: a bit nerdy and he gets his tits out. So
Speaker 2: jobs are good and really.
Speaker 1: Win win win, tick tick.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyway, crashing on, You're a vision this year, You
Speaker 2: are a vision delightful in Eure Song contest. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: a song anyway. Eurovision this year is in Basil, Basil, Bizill.
Speaker 1: Well, well, Bazzles the herb that goes in Italian food.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't believe it's smell basil.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sorry, the gallery is saying Germany. Just let's look
Speaker 1: at the flag in the heart oh Switzerland? Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: As geography, yeah yeah, geography, it's flags.
Speaker 2: I know, it's very nice as a flag thing goes. Anyway,
Speaker 2: X Factor do you watch? Are you are you? Are
Speaker 2: you follow?
Speaker 1: I watched originally when it first started, went oh, this
Speaker 1: is the same as all the other ones, and I
Speaker 1: want X Factor forty nine now fifty two. Anyway, it's
Speaker 1: just Simon Carroll when I want more money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean maybe he just wants to be able
Speaker 2: to afford to get whatever he did to his face fixed.
Speaker 1: I think he paid for that. Oh I know. I
Speaker 1: think he went, yes, i'll have that, please.
Speaker 2: God. Imagine waking up and seeing that that's what's happened
Speaker 2: to your face, going yes, that's good. Here is the money.
Speaker 1: I think he paid in advance.
Speaker 2: Oh you would have well yeah, Turkey anyway, anyway, X
Speaker 2: Factor getting distracted by uh, whatever that is on his face.
Speaker 2: X Factor finalist Rebecca Ferguson do you know her?
Speaker 1: I'm aware of her work? Not a massive fan.
Speaker 2: No, there she is. Oh, yeah, I mean here she
Speaker 2: is doing? Yeah, all right, you say so, I like.
Speaker 1: I thought she's relating a microphone.
Speaker 2: Less anyway, She apparently has been offered by other countries
Speaker 2: to go and be part of their Eurovision entry, which
Speaker 2: seems like cheating. Why It's like, aren't they supposed to
Speaker 2: be from their own country?
Speaker 1: Not really let Australia into the Eurovision song contest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but Kylie May she bless us with life and biodegradable.
Speaker 1: Glue's not dead.
Speaker 2: She'll live forever in our hearts. I mean she's no
Speaker 2: share share is going to live for ever.
Speaker 1: Oh, has no choice but to live.
Speaker 2: Well, that's true.
Speaker 1: Tell your soul, you get what you're given. Anyway.
Speaker 2: Yeah, apparently this is the weird bit of this story.
Speaker 2: Someone jumped on a live stream with her to ask
Speaker 2: the question are you going to be in Eurovision? And
Speaker 2: her response was no, one's messaged me to do it.
Speaker 2: But what's really interesting, I've had other offers from other countries,
Speaker 2: which sounds a little bit cryptic.
Speaker 1: I've had other offers from other countries.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's the kind of thing you say
Speaker 2: when you're looking. When she wants to be the Eurovision person. Oh,
Speaker 2: I've got lots of offers, but I'd rather do it
Speaker 2: for you. If you want to offer it for me,
Speaker 2: here's your chance. Let me ever go full in No
Speaker 2: One Love exactly.
Speaker 1: She actually did sing at Eurovision when it was in Liverpool.
Speaker 2: I sang at Eurovision TV.
Speaker 1: Oh, she was paid to do it. But no. When
Speaker 1: Liverpool hosts for Ukraine craning the singer up and because
Speaker 1: she's from Liverpool, she was in town. She went, oh
Speaker 1: sing as well, So they did a duet.
Speaker 2: That's nice. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1: Good for her, good for gets her through. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And but she said she's not taking up any of
Speaker 2: these many many offers from other company countries because she
Speaker 2: wants to do it for the UK. So it's very
Speaker 2: patriotic and suspiciously hard to prove otherwise, isn't it.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this is just like me on dating profiles,
Speaker 1: like you've seen many guys, Yeah, a couple.
Speaker 2: Hell. I love it when people say like, I mean,
Speaker 2: they won't be like offensive looking, but they'll be like
Speaker 2: ripped muscular guys to the front of the queue. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, cue, come on, babes.
Speaker 1: Look, if you put yourself in a post office on
Speaker 1: a Wednesday. There's a queue a pension. But still there's
Speaker 1: a queue. It's a queue less I know.
Speaker 2: Any anyway, Matt Boemer important to pronounce that one. He
Speaker 2: is voicing the audiobook version, the tenth anniversary audiobook version,
Speaker 2: Special Edition, kind of thing of a little life, you know,
Speaker 2: the kind of queer saga thing. There he is with
Speaker 2: his silly mustache.
Speaker 1: It's so pretty and.
Speaker 2: It does look like he's in the middle of something
Speaker 2: in that second photo. But never mind, I'll give them
Speaker 2: a hand. So, yeah, the book. Have you read it?
Speaker 1: I've not read it?
Speaker 2: No, I mean it's a brick? Is is it? Humans?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, it follows four friends living in New York, Charlotte, Miranda,
Speaker 2: Samantha and carry, tracing them from their post college days
Speaker 2: into their fifties. So yeah, just like that, he's done.
Speaker 1: A lot of She was seventy five in that though,
Speaker 1: wasn't she? Surely it's have you wa? I can't watch it?
Speaker 1: I want now episode weird? Na? This is this is weird?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all anyway, This isn't Sex and the City
Speaker 2: or that. This is something else. Apparently it's quite harrowing. Okay,
Speaker 2: never mind, anyway, let's talk more about Pretty Boy. He
Speaker 2: was in Fellow Travelers. He's been in the Boys in
Speaker 2: the Band. I love that, haven't all I've been, but
Speaker 2: that's it. And he was in Will and Graces apparently
Speaker 2: as well. But that must have been the reboot, new
Speaker 2: version because I haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: But never mind, it was Will's boyfriend, I believe, all right.
Speaker 2: Why not?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Sure?
Speaker 2: So. He says he was truly deeply moved to be
Speaker 2: asked to read Hanya's brilliant, heartbreaking and timeless novel. And
Speaker 2: I think I'd be truly deeply moved if I was
Speaker 2: asked to if I was paid to do anything like that,
Speaker 2: really pay me, Yeah, truly deeply moved by the large
Speaker 2: amount of money that they chocked me to, I'd like to.
Speaker 1: Be truly deeply moved.
Speaker 2: By Yeah, very balls deeply, just like really kind of
Speaker 2: elbow deep. Oh it's happening again. I'm sorry. Anyway. He
Speaker 2: went on to say, It's a book that I've been
Speaker 2: fascinated with since I first heard about it, and having
Speaker 2: the opportunity to bring these characters to life was both
Speaker 2: a profound responsibility for me and a chance to fall
Speaker 2: in love with her work all over again, which is
Speaker 2: very pr isn't it? Like, yeah, yeah, here are some words,
Speaker 2: go away badies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I thought it was great. Is the
Speaker 1: check in the bank?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because also the book's a brick.
Speaker 2: It's like eight hundred pages long. Okay, the audio book
Speaker 2: thirty eight hours.
Speaker 1: That's a week.
Speaker 2: That is a week. You could sit down at your
Speaker 2: desk start at nine am Monday morning and you'd finish
Speaker 2: it at clocking off time. Mental late, but.
Speaker 1: Well hours I work, I'd probably fish about Wednesday.
Speaker 2: I'd never finish it. I get bored. I think I
Speaker 2: get bored of having one voice in my ear for
Speaker 2: thirty eight hours as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah I think that killed me too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't read when they do it. When
Speaker 2: they do like an Instagram reels version, I'll or I'll
Speaker 2: put it on double speed on YouTube or something. But
Speaker 2: even then that's fun with audiobooks. Yeah, it's like the
Speaker 2: chipmox are reading to you. Love it anyway. He's pretty,
Speaker 2: but you only get to hear his voice. You don't
Speaker 2: get to see anything else. So a bit of a shame.
Speaker 2: I have my mind wasted opportunity. Really anyway, that's all
Speaker 2: from the showbiz this week.
Speaker 1: Thanks for that. River. Always nice to know that I'm
Speaker 1: not the only person that has a slight fancy about
Speaker 1: Matt Bumma.
Speaker 2: You are welcome, but don't go anywhere. As coming up,
Speaker 2: we're going to have a game for you to play
Speaker 2: along with in our game of the week.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Cheering the cud with Me, Mike, Ben
Speaker 1: and Rowe and then River Scott. I know it's that
Speaker 1: part of the show where we play a little game
Speaker 1: and this is the first time that they're doing this,
Speaker 1: So good luck and off your pop. Thank you day
Speaker 1: of the week. So this week we're going to play
Speaker 1: myth or no myth, and that's what is for River
Speaker 1: to ask me the questions and if to try and
Speaker 1: work out whether it's a big fat, hairy light or
Speaker 1: completely true. Are you ready?
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go for it.
Speaker 1: I would like one from the top.
Speaker 2: Please, certainly I can give you. I can give you
Speaker 2: one from a top?
Speaker 1: Is this true?
Speaker 2: Ants don't sleep?
Speaker 1: Okay? I do know how you can gender an ant.
Speaker 1: It's not an in water, right, and it sinks, it's
Speaker 1: a girl, and and if it floats it's a buoyant.
Speaker 2: That's a funny joke.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, what was the question again? I got distracted
Speaker 1: by my funny ants?
Speaker 2: Do they sleep.
Speaker 1: Only when they're not on the clock.
Speaker 2: You're saying ants have a very good work ethic, Well
Speaker 2: they have work at ants done? Do you ants sleep?
Speaker 1: Jesus? I don't think Jesus can answer the question. Can
Speaker 1: you don't have stickmak It's not me. I don't know anymore. Yes, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no.
Speaker 2: That your final answer. You're locking it in. Yes, all
Speaker 2: right now, ants don't sleep? That's correct, Well.
Speaker 1: Done, I'll done me, that's what I'll have. A big bottom, please.
Speaker 2: A big bottom. Oh, we're going to go with this one,
Speaker 2: big bottom right in the middle. After his death in
Speaker 2: two thousand and five, the ashes of US writer Hunter S.
Speaker 2: Thompson Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, et cetera, were
Speaker 2: fired from one hundred and fifty foot cannon, which is
Speaker 2: what he asked for in his will. Is that true
Speaker 2: or false?
Speaker 1: I love people who put ridiculous requests in their wills,
Speaker 1: and one of them I think that's true.
Speaker 2: That is actually true. Yeah, Hunter S. Thompson was fired
Speaker 2: out of a cannon. Well, his ashes were fired from
Speaker 2: a cannon, So well done. There you're two for two.
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm cleverly see screaming missushigebotb mountain right next one?
Speaker 1: I would like top? Right?
Speaker 2: Please? Is this true or false? Birds can't sing when
Speaker 2: they're on the ground?
Speaker 1: Is that euphemism?
Speaker 2: Not? As far as I'm aware, what.
Speaker 1: You to and I'll watch them on the ground. I
Speaker 1: can't sing when they're on the ground.
Speaker 2: Can birds sing when they're on the ground, yes, they can, correct,
Speaker 2: they don't, but they can they choose not to.
Speaker 1: They choose not to. I don't want to sing down here,
Speaker 1: it's on that brunch. Why why can't birds? No? I
Speaker 1: can't accept that.
Speaker 2: That is correct? Birds can sing when they're on the ground.
Speaker 2: That's a silly one. So well done. There you are
Speaker 2: three for three top or bottom, which is very it's
Speaker 2: very reductive, there isn't it?
Speaker 1: But technically burst on what I'm in the mood.
Speaker 2: For right now? Or or bottom?
Speaker 1: I'm in the mood for a top, right, you can
Speaker 1: tell it?
Speaker 2: Not on?
Speaker 1: You are?
Speaker 2: You are getting a good hard top? Here we go?
Speaker 2: Do you want a hard one?
Speaker 1: I would like a hard one?
Speaker 2: All right. Einstein's brain was removed after death, and that
Speaker 2: is actually true. Yeah, right, that wasn't a hard one.
Speaker 2: We all know that story, right, We're gonna do another
Speaker 2: one from the top. You're getting another top because the
Speaker 2: first top wasn't good enough and we've all been there
Speaker 2: my life. Yeah, exhausting when you get through two or
Speaker 2: three of them and they're all just not worthy opponents.
Speaker 2: But that's not what we're here to talk about. Oh,
Speaker 2: Catherine the Great of Russia was killed by being crushed
Speaker 2: by a horse, true or false.
Speaker 1: That's false.
Speaker 2: It is false, but it was propaganda put about by
Speaker 2: whoever didn't like her. Yeah, she was supposed to be
Speaker 2: performing on holy acts with said horse, so she.
Speaker 1: Had that many sexual partners while being Czarina that people
Speaker 1: started saying, oh, should show a horse, and that's how I.
Speaker 2: Can and that that she'd been ruined for all men
Speaker 2: because they just weren't They just weren't touching the sides, space.
Speaker 1: The sides, which isn't which isn't.
Speaker 2: True, which is not true. So it does, it does.
Speaker 2: It does make me think I need to call him,
Speaker 2: but that's another story, you know, and share his number
Speaker 2: with me. Can I have just his number? I mean
Speaker 2: there's room for both of us, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: Can I have middle bottom police.
Speaker 2: You can have middle bottom. Giant clams have been known
Speaker 2: to trap divers and drown them.
Speaker 1: Whether you can drown someone with your clam.
Speaker 2: Yeah, can you dry and drown someone with a giant clam?
Speaker 1: Well, probably experience. I wouldn't know that. I would say
Speaker 1: that a giant calm would trap a diver.
Speaker 2: When they if you think like pearl divers, when they
Speaker 2: like swim down to grab their pearls, could you have
Speaker 2: a clam going, oh, yeah, come get it, Come look
Speaker 2: at the size of my pearl, Come grab my pearl,
Speaker 2: and then grab hold of their arms because you wouldn't
Speaker 2: need to hang on them for very long to drown
Speaker 2: them because they're quite low down.
Speaker 1: Also, that a clam, so you could just swim up
Speaker 1: with it attached to your arm.
Speaker 2: Quite heavy. I think the giant ones depends how giant
Speaker 2: a giant clam is.
Speaker 1: That I don't think. I'm not thinking like it's going
Speaker 1: to be this sort of size.
Speaker 2: Well, there was that one with the woman standing.
Speaker 1: In it that was a painting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of well, it's only because they didn't have photographs
Speaker 2: back then. That to paint it.
Speaker 1: Doesn't necessarily mean it's true. If it's a painting.
Speaker 2: Well a giant. Sorry, No you can't. I can't have
Speaker 2: that conversation on there, all right, because no one can
Speaker 2: hear what I'm saying, all right. So so you're saying no, then.
Speaker 1: I'm saying no. They can't trap a person till the drug.
Speaker 2: That is correct. Well done, you're doing very well on this.
Speaker 2: You're five to five right now.
Speaker 1: Can we send this to missus Higgan bottom? Please?
Speaker 2: Do you want to do another one? Or have you
Speaker 2: had enough? No?
Speaker 1: I need to do another one, all right? Not want
Speaker 1: to need to?
Speaker 2: Do you want another top or another bottom?
Speaker 1: I will let you decide.
Speaker 2: Oh, much like in any other situation, I'm just happy
Speaker 2: to be involved. So I'm going to go. I'm going
Speaker 2: to give you a mid top. Sorry. In nineteen eighty five,
Speaker 2: a woman in Ohio was killed on the way to
Speaker 2: her one hundredth birthday party as she was run over
Speaker 2: by the van delivering her cake. Run over, run over
Speaker 2: by the van delivering the cake to her birthday party
Speaker 2: that she was on the way to. It was one
Speaker 2: hundredth birthday party.
Speaker 1: So if she's one hundred, we're assuming that she's not
Speaker 1: very mobile.
Speaker 2: I mean, some people, some people stay quite active into
Speaker 2: their into their twilight years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm thinking if I was in front of
Speaker 1: a speeding van as a youngster, I could move out
Speaker 1: quite quickly. Now I'll go, I'll it.
Speaker 2: Me that's true. So yeah, would she be able to
Speaker 2: move out the way fast enough and it wouldn't need
Speaker 2: to hit her hard because she's old and frail?
Speaker 1: Lally blown down by a stiff breeze, I say, not true.
Speaker 2: Correct, that is not true, although it is quite funny,
Speaker 2: so part of me wishes it was. But that seems
Speaker 2: like a horrible thing to wish. So never mind, Well,
Speaker 2: wish for worst. Let's give you another bottom. Let's keep this,
Speaker 2: let's keep the sequel. Until nineteen seventy two, only people
Speaker 2: who owned property were eligible to sit on a jury
Speaker 2: in a British court.
Speaker 1: True or false, nineteen seventy two.
Speaker 2: Nineteen seventy two was the year that I just said. Yes,
Speaker 2: I'm not saying if that's the right year. I'm saying
Speaker 2: that that is the year that's on the card.
Speaker 1: False, it is true.
Speaker 2: Hah, all right, hooray, I just I just wanted to
Speaker 2: them all. Yeah, that was all right. Next one, there
Speaker 2: are more London streets named after Queen Victoria than any
Speaker 2: other person.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's true.
Speaker 2: It is in fact true.
Speaker 1: Okay, I've got part of think of the men London
Speaker 1: streets that I know to be fair sovious. Completely.
Speaker 2: Yes, I have a story about street names Victorianism. There's
Speaker 2: a there's a street in the theater Land district of London,
Speaker 2: a shafts revenue kind of way. There's a very small
Speaker 2: kind of alleyway street called Grape Street, which is what
Speaker 2: it says on the nice little sign at the top
Speaker 2: of the street. That is what the Victorians called it
Speaker 2: when they started writing these things down and making maps. Originally,
Speaker 2: it was very well known for where certain ladies of
Speaker 2: the night would apply their wares, and was known as
Speaker 2: Grope Street. But the Victorians decided that they couldn't write
Speaker 2: that down anywhere, so they changed it to the much
Speaker 2: more acceptable Rape Street.
Speaker 1: Let's get less one that, all right?
Speaker 2: One more? The black box recorder in an aircraft orange
Speaker 2: it is orange? True, all right, that's the question. I
Speaker 2: geeked well done so that you've got eight out of
Speaker 2: you've got seven out of eight or eight out of nine.
Speaker 2: Oh no, it's not counting, but you did really, really
Speaker 2: well so well done. That was probably about what eighty
Speaker 2: percent correct. That's not bad at all.
Speaker 1: That's better than I normally it performed to be fair,
Speaker 1: so that's always good. But coming up after this short break,
Speaker 1: we're going to get all interpersonal with River in Spotlight.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, and you're still watching Mic and River and
Speaker 1: chewing the cud. Now we've warmed up nicely and even
Speaker 1: made a few dick jokes, so now it's time to
Speaker 1: get into things deeply with River in Spotlight. So you've
Speaker 1: been here for a little while now, Yes, we've got
Speaker 1: to know you a little bit. Who is River? Who
Speaker 1: are they? River?
Speaker 2: Is me? I are River?
Speaker 1: I a river? I ah? So you're not just a
Speaker 1: person that comes on TV.
Speaker 2: I'll come on anything. Yeah. I am a writer, a podcaster,
Speaker 2: all that kind of thing. Usually I say I'm a storyteller.
Speaker 2: But it sounds really wanky, doesn't it.
Speaker 1: I tell, do you work in marketing?
Speaker 2: I used to work in mine.
Speaker 1: There we go.
Speaker 2: That's why it made me want to kill everyone and
Speaker 2: myself in that order.
Speaker 1: So podcasts, there's a lot of people do podcasts.
Speaker 2: They do, don't they It's quite frustrating. Actually, lots of
Speaker 2: other people do podcasts, because I'd rather everyone didn't and
Speaker 2: then they'd all listen to mine. That'd be lovely.
Speaker 1: Do you just just host podcasts?
Speaker 2: I host them, I edit them. I do all the things.
Speaker 2: But the one that I that I do most is mine,
Speaker 2: where I sit in a cupboard not quite as nice
Speaker 2: as your studio here, and which is also a cupboard,
Speaker 2: but it's a nice cupboard, and I basically tell myself
Speaker 2: not jokes. If you think of it, it's called probably
Speaker 2: true stories of queer life and even queerer sex. So
Speaker 2: if you think of it, like Sex and the City,
Speaker 2: if Carrie Bradshaw had been queer and good at her job, okay,
Speaker 2: I actually enjoyed sex and was a bit kind of
Speaker 2: sex positive instead of like being bigoted and homophobic and
Speaker 2: biphobic and transphobic and all the other things that she
Speaker 2: were a little bit racist, all those things. If we
Speaker 2: get past that, if you got rid of all those bits,
Speaker 2: I know, there's not much less.
Speaker 1: Say you just got rid of the show.
Speaker 2: So there's just a lot of dick jokes. Is that
Speaker 2: where it is? And I like to like have a
Speaker 2: takeaway a learning so it might be something like, oh,
Speaker 2: I went to the sauna, recently and was banging away,
Speaker 2: but a really hot guy didn't want to shag me.
Speaker 2: And he was the only one that I remember from
Speaker 2: that whole thing, And it got me thinking about how
Speaker 2: we focus on the negatives rather than the positives or
Speaker 2: shit like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, so a little bit like my eighties cartoons.
Speaker 2: What kind of eighties cartoons were you watching? Like?
Speaker 1: ThunderCats was always like going. They had a story and
Speaker 1: then they had a little lesson at the end.
Speaker 2: Yeah, story that kind of thing. Only not as gay
Speaker 2: as the thunder.
Speaker 1: Nothing can be as gay as.
Speaker 2: Slightly less gay, I imagine. I mean, I did watch
Speaker 2: the thunder Cats a lot when I was little, so
Speaker 2: I wonder if they kind of helped with the awakening.
Speaker 2: Who was your favorite? You see?
Speaker 1: Panther was kind of my go to.
Speaker 2: The big muscly black guy fair enough, but.
Speaker 1: Also Mumra Mamrammra went all proper evil.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I actually I actually did the I was
Speaker 2: talking about. It was my birthday last year. I actually
Speaker 2: was talking to some of my D and D friends
Speaker 2: one of our games, talking about how I was going
Speaker 2: to do the Mumrah thing, and I did the little
Speaker 2: ancient spirits of evil speech, and they all looked at
Speaker 2: me like, what are you want about? And that's when
Speaker 2: I remember that I'm really old and that my D
Speaker 2: and D friends are all in their twenties and have
Speaker 2: no idea about the ThunderCats or Mumrah or any of that.
Speaker 1: It's a shame. I was talking to people at work
Speaker 1: about the Power Rangers, thinking I was being, you know,
Speaker 1: younger than I am, and then they turn around and
Speaker 1: thought about it and was talking about two very different
Speaker 1: shows because now there's only three Power Rangers.
Speaker 2: Well, and in this economy, it's just.
Speaker 1: All confusing Power Ranges Ninja possible?
Speaker 2: What Now?
Speaker 1: Where's the floating head? Is the jar anyway in the
Speaker 1: camp robot?
Speaker 2: And then yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that's what you need.
Speaker 1: Yes, back to you, Yes, back to me, back to you.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I got distracted by my youth.
Speaker 2: Sorry, carry on.
Speaker 1: And so you podcast very much to teach them as
Speaker 1: they as they enjoy sort of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's more about it's a lot of it is
Speaker 2: kind of me being the person that I wish i'd
Speaker 2: had around to kind of teach me these things about
Speaker 2: quick culture and all that kind of wang.
Speaker 1: When I first started coming out onto the scene. I
Speaker 1: had an elder gay called Alan who was in his
Speaker 1: sixties and would teach you about douching. And this is
Speaker 1: pretty google obviously, so that's kind of.
Speaker 2: Idea that, yeah, that sort of thing. There's an episode
Speaker 2: on Douche. Yeah, don't remind people that bomholes aren't just
Speaker 2: for sex. Sometimes they're for pooh as well, And it's important,
Speaker 2: unless very clearly stated, not to get those two things overlapping.
Speaker 2: Some people are into that kind of thing, but I
Speaker 2: pity their bed sheets. Basically, there's a lot of work
Speaker 2: to clean that up. I wouldn't know anyway. So it's
Speaker 2: about it's about teaching people a little bit. It's also
Speaker 2: about the core messages that you're not alone. And like
Speaker 2: a lot of the feedback I get is like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, I was I thought I was the only
Speaker 2: one who thought like that. Or it's nice when someone
Speaker 2: says something that I didn't even realize I was thinking
Speaker 2: because I thought I was weird for thinking like that.
Speaker 2: I no, No, everyone does. We just don't talk about it.
Speaker 2: I started it a long time ago because it was
Speaker 2: going to be a YouTube thing, but it turns out
Speaker 2: editing video is really hard, so I decided not to
Speaker 2: do it, and I'm a writer, so the scripts were
Speaker 2: the easy bit. It's like dis so.
Speaker 1: Podcast, just the word out, very script.
Speaker 2: Knob knob. So I did them as podcasts and kind
Speaker 2: of got it out there because I was really bored
Speaker 2: by all of the queer content that was out there
Speaker 2: because none of it represented me. It was all very
Speaker 2: kind of sterile and yeah, and very kind of like
Speaker 2: gays are lovable and fluffy and we deserve just the
Speaker 2: same amount as everyone else. We're great, aren't we great?
Speaker 2: I know that kind of thing, And I was just like.
Speaker 1: Like, yes we are, but let's talk about fisting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, we are all great, and sometimes we look
Speaker 2: like to go and make friends in a park or
Speaker 2: in the sauna or in the showers at the gym.
Speaker 2: And they don't talk about that on the fluffy wholesome
Speaker 2: podcast YouTube channels because they want all their advertisers to
Speaker 2: hang around. So I decided that I wanted to do
Speaker 2: something that wouldn't make any money but would take over
Speaker 2: my life. So here I am.
Speaker 1: I know that feeling you're watching it.
Speaker 2: You look delightful, isn't it okay?
Speaker 1: Cool? So we have we have the jar of Joy yes, okay,
Speaker 1: which is just it's it's a choice. I choose joy,
Speaker 1: jar of joy. Just a bunch of questions, okay, this
Speaker 1: is called lazy presenting.
Speaker 2: Am I under oath?
Speaker 1: You're not under oath? You can life you wish to,
Speaker 1: but we'll know. Would you rather? Yes, have one nipple
Speaker 1: or two belly buttons? Deep intellectual questions.
Speaker 2: If I had one nipple, would it be on the
Speaker 2: side or would it be central? And if I had
Speaker 2: two belly buttons, would they be either side? How would
Speaker 2: they be aligned?
Speaker 1: I think nipple and where the belly button was?
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, and that sort of idea.
Speaker 1: And then two belly buttons where the nipples will be.
Speaker 2: But that doesn't work because you said stop yeah, but
Speaker 2: you didn't say would I because then that that you're
Speaker 2: assuming I'm having both. Whereas the question is do I
Speaker 2: want one nipple or two belly buns? And if I
Speaker 2: have one.
Speaker 1: Nipple, okay, it's just in the center there, just right
Speaker 1: in the center between both.
Speaker 2: For the nipple and the belly buttons.
Speaker 1: Belly buttons similar sort of area, right, would they move? Well,
Speaker 1: if you move your arm and it's attached to you,
Speaker 1: so they do move.
Speaker 2: I'm exploring my options, I want to give them. I'm
Speaker 2: wanting to make sure I have all the information before
Speaker 2: I make my choice. I'd probably go for one nipple
Speaker 2: because I think that'd be kind of weird and I'd
Speaker 2: like that, and also like my nipples don't do anything
Speaker 2: for me, so it'll be and it will be fun
Speaker 2: like watching people go up here and then like for
Speaker 2: having to feel around for them o the say, ah,
Speaker 2: fooled you. I'd like that.
Speaker 1: Two belly ones just a fluff, lot of maintenance.
Speaker 2: A lot of but then extra place for the jis
Speaker 2: to collect, so that's nice.
Speaker 1: So if we were to find you on social media,
Speaker 1: where could we find you?
Speaker 2: Well, that is quite an interesting question at the moment
Speaker 2: because everything's gone a bit nazi. I am on all
Speaker 2: of them, okay, but I'm trying to move away from
Speaker 2: the slightly worse ones. But yeah, if you search River
Speaker 2: Scott you'll probably find me. I'm River does things on Instamogram.
Speaker 2: In fact, I've got two profiles on most of them,
Speaker 2: like River Scott on Blue Sky and no just on
Speaker 2: Blue Sky. Now River does things on Instamogram. Those are
Speaker 2: my classy ones, okay. And then there's also the tits out,
Speaker 2: jiggling around spicy ones. Yeah, come come give me money
Speaker 2: to look at my my Grinder profile, pictures, accounts, And
Speaker 2: it's exactly as as that was, right then, I don't
Speaker 2: want to oversell it. But that's about it.
Speaker 1: Really, okay. And is that on the fans that are
Speaker 1: only there?
Speaker 2: There are there are some only fans, yes, yeah, which
Speaker 2: doesn't really I've only got like three followers, and I'm
Speaker 2: fairly certain one of them is my mum. She's very supportive, supportive,
Speaker 2: but it does put you off your stride when like
Speaker 2: the top comment on the live cam is like your
Speaker 2: dinner's on the table.
Speaker 1: But or the following lad a going oh we used
Speaker 1: to do that as a kid.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh just like your dad. But I do like
Speaker 2: a challenging wank, so why not. Yeah, So all of
Speaker 2: that is out there if you want to, you know,
Speaker 2: help me pay some bills. Why not. The podcast is
Speaker 2: on all of the podcasting places. There's even a YouTube
Speaker 2: vision now, but it's not very good because it's just
Speaker 2: me talking to a camera. And like I say, video
Speaker 2: editing is hard, and whoever does this does a much
Speaker 2: better job than I do of mine.
Speaker 1: So you know, we pay them. Well, we don't put
Speaker 1: We've got them type. Absolutely got no choice.
Speaker 2: I thought he looked a bit gimpy when I'm tim
Speaker 2: early I blessed him.
Speaker 1: So we would love to have you come on again.
Speaker 1: Would you be up for that?
Speaker 2: I suppose yeah, why not? It counts towards community service,
Speaker 2: I think it does it? Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah definitely yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you very much for that. River.
Speaker 2: So that's almost the end of the show for now.
Speaker 2: But on your screen you can see our contact details.
Speaker 2: It's at the cud TV on your social media's and
Speaker 2: if you want to catch upon previous episodes then you
Speaker 2: can always find us on the youtubes. Just look for
Speaker 2: Chewing the Cud.
Speaker 1: Thank you for watching and we'll see you also. Bye, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you