Speaker 1: No one would turn off the overhead lighting, and so
Speaker 1: everyone arriving in high heels and bodycon dresses. It was
Speaker 1: an incredible thing to watch. These people are almost forty
Speaker 1: years old. They are dressed to go to like like
Speaker 1: a wedding welcome party type that level of event. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then they walk into the scene that Pat described,
Speaker 1: and that is that's what I want to see more of.
Speaker 1: And Michelle thought she would be probably what the fifth
Speaker 1: cast member to arrive, No, no, baby, come on in
Speaker 1: here with your wine that you can't drink.
Speaker 2: What do you want some?
Speaker 3: Tito's Hi, hello, and welcome to bad TV. I'm dyl
Speaker 3: that's Pat great to be here.
Speaker 4: Gribbs is joining us from the New York. Nika Bacha's
Speaker 4: are going to the gonna win the championship this year.
Speaker 4: Brudson's got furry shoulders, and I feel seen. Roby Wren's
Speaker 4: calling in from New York. What's going on?
Speaker 5: Hey, Joe, Hey Pat? How are you guys so tired?
Speaker 4: We're both just dead dads right now? Dead?
Speaker 2: What a privilege, I know.
Speaker 4: And that's why I can't remember which show it was.
Speaker 4: Was it this?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 4: This this show? I need the babies away from me
Speaker 4: on reality television. I've got we've got enough baby stuff
Speaker 4: going on. Get the babies away from me. Okay, but
Speaker 4: that's what the show is. We're here to break down
Speaker 4: the valley. Do you have any public service announcements that
Speaker 4: you'd like to get to?
Speaker 2: Is this on the free feet? This on the free feet?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you got to head on over to Patreon
Speaker 2: dot com, slash another podcast network. We have one more
Speaker 2: episode of the reunion of Summerhouse, and then of course
Speaker 2: we'll move on to In the City, which will of
Speaker 2: course be behind a paywall. Yeah, okay, and then we
Speaker 2: got to wrap up the Real Housewives of Rhode Island.
Speaker 2: Little teaser here. I've watched episodes before. You guys, someone
Speaker 2: gets arrested that you don't know who will be arrested,
Speaker 2: and you will never guess who gets arrested and what
Speaker 2: they get arrested for. And already watched the If you
Speaker 2: are watching it, you're gonna love it. They deliver right
Speaker 2: to the very end. It's wonderful television.
Speaker 4: Gotta Patreon dot com, slash another podcast network. Okay, let's
Speaker 4: get into the valley. I was off for two weeks
Speaker 4: of this show. I think so yeah, how was it really?
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, Dylan throwing in one bedroom apartments Dylan, Yep,
Speaker 2: it looks like doctor offices. His apartment looks like a
Speaker 2: doctor's waiting room office where you get drugs that you
Speaker 2: shouldn't be able to get from a doctor.
Speaker 4: So let's do this. Let's hit up Wayfair, let's hit
Speaker 4: up Peer one, whatever furniture stores are still in business.
Speaker 4: Let's fill the home up a little bit, and then
Speaker 4: we can have people over right, because you have open
Speaker 4: holes in the drywall, So let's not host the party yet,
Speaker 4: you giant man. Okay, but yeah, the last two weeks,
Speaker 4: the main through line has been dark Side.
Speaker 2: They're desperately trying to change the narrative in this show. Okay,
Speaker 2: and some damage control on that date night, those two
Speaker 2: love birds.
Speaker 4: Well, I gotta say it was fun to be back.
Speaker 4: I'm getting, if I could get into my bumps, I'm
Speaker 4: getting kind of a game of oor situation on the valley. Okay.
Speaker 4: There are there seem to be these lines of alliances
Speaker 4: being drawn access power, ally power, and there is this.
Speaker 2: Game of bumps.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's the game of bumps.
Speaker 2: Oh what was that snorting below?
Speaker 4: Okay? There seems to be this kind of ecosystem of
Speaker 4: fear that any good dictator kind of pushes out into
Speaker 4: the followers, and that I fear is coming from Nia
Speaker 4: and Danny, who have a stranglehold on this cast. That
Speaker 4: is actually quite confusing. It's all very fun. I'll talk
Speaker 4: about Nia and Danny a little bit more and a
Speaker 4: little bit kind of over it. Watch what's going on
Speaker 4: with you two. I'm gonna give it fifty bumps.
Speaker 2: Fifty bumps. Yeah, yeah, you want to go Ruby.
Speaker 5: Uh, you go for it.
Speaker 2: Pat Okay. Wife ran into Luke at home depot this week,
Speaker 2: said he was a delight. He let her skip in
Speaker 2: line at the checkout self checkout. It was nice seeing Luke.
Speaker 2: You know, this episode for me was a little bit
Speaker 2: of a nostalgia because do you smell bad? She didn't
Speaker 2: say that they were at the forty one hundred Club.
Speaker 2: Now forty one hundred Club was the place where they
Speaker 2: were all sitting outside. That is where the streets Sunset
Speaker 2: Boulevard and Hollywood Boulevard cross each other. It's right next
Speaker 2: to a Jiffy Lube, right next to my house. It's
Speaker 2: very close to where Dylan lives and it's the east
Speaker 2: side of Hollywood. It's the cool area of Hollywood. It's
Speaker 2: Silver Lake. It's Goilver Lake. And I cannot tell you
Speaker 2: how many wonderful nights I had at the forty one
Speaker 2: hundred Club.
Speaker 4: It is such a disgusting pile of shit, that place.
Speaker 2: It is now. Oh yeah, it wasn't in the early
Speaker 2: two thousand twere we went.
Speaker 4: We went a couple of years we did that for
Speaker 4: a work party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't the same. I'm old now.
Speaker 4: It's the kind of place where the floors are sticky,
Speaker 4: and if you're if your pat's a ripe young age,
Speaker 4: a stick man going out into the city trying to
Speaker 4: slay women, the sticky doesn't matter. You can get over
Speaker 4: the sticky. It's meaningless. But when you're grown and you're
Speaker 4: a little more mature, you walk around places and you go, well,
Speaker 4: the floors can't be sticky really anywhere that's not okay though,
Speaker 4: outside of the fucking I'd maybe Dodger Stadium anyways.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it brought back a lot of
Speaker 2: nostalgia for me. I love that place, and also the
Speaker 2: idea of an apartment party. I mean, although Zach was
Speaker 2: extremely sad and pathetic, also looking at forgive me, this
Speaker 2: may come off is mean for Lacey for some but
Speaker 2: looking at Lacey's face at some point, I thought chunks
Speaker 2: of it were going to just start falling off.
Speaker 4: Pat, you're supposed to go into before you say something
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 2: Oh No, that was Pat saying that. I thought, honestly,
Speaker 2: parts of her face could fall off at anytime as
Speaker 2: I was staring at it. I don't know what's going
Speaker 2: on there. Yeah, anyway, back to my thoughts. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: love an apartment party, but it's all right. This is
Speaker 2: this speaks volumes about assholes and Los Angeles. Zach would
Speaker 2: rather live in a one room apartment with a air
Speaker 2: conditioning unit and a Monster Energy drink refrigerator. Well a
Speaker 2: long lost with two roommates, one of which just pieced
Speaker 2: out and stole your only way of refrigerating food without
Speaker 2: telling you. Yeah, then have a decent apartment somewhere in
Speaker 2: the valley, or god forbid, owns something in Santa Karita.
Speaker 4: It's important to be in stumble proximity to Boystown, right.
Speaker 4: You gotta be able to kind of flop your way home, right,
Speaker 4: and you pay a premium for that kind of thing, right,
Speaker 4: you know, Nights and Boystown go late.
Speaker 2: I hear you, Okay, I did enjoy this episode. I
Speaker 2: especially enjoyed seeing I think the end of the end
Speaker 2: of Brandon, I mean this guy, the reveal that he
Speaker 2: was borrowing money.
Speaker 4: For Brittany lead alone.
Speaker 2: It was more of payment, yes, Ruby, not my bumps?
Speaker 4: Do you goo?
Speaker 2: Oh? Sorry? I thought it was a decent episode. I
Speaker 2: think we should be winding down this season at this point.
Speaker 4: How much did he I want to know how much
Speaker 4: he borrowed.
Speaker 2: I'm going to say at least a couple grand because
Speaker 2: she seemed pretty pissed when he wasn't really being a
Speaker 2: good caretaker.
Speaker 4: How many bumps, I'm going to give.
Speaker 2: It fourteen bumps?
Speaker 4: Rubens.
Speaker 1: So he commented on someone's like tweet or Instagram or
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was and clarified that she
Speaker 1: gave him forty dollars. And that made me feel worse
Speaker 1: about the entire thing than I did prior to finding
Speaker 1: out the amount, because I too thought that it was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, two grand or something.
Speaker 5: Not sure this.
Speaker 4: Episode your bumps, I'm just I'm thrown into a flux
Speaker 4: of confusion at this point. Why that's that's more than
Speaker 4: you would tip any person you would tip, and why
Speaker 4: else would you need forty dollars gas money? But then
Speaker 4: that would mean that he has no money.
Speaker 2: It's possible.
Speaker 4: That's not possible.
Speaker 2: Have you seen Brandon. Yeah, that's not possible.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well more on that at five Ruby, these are
Speaker 4: your bombs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it might be possible. So this was a
Speaker 1: very revealing episode. I am very saddened to know that
Speaker 1: Darkseide and I share the same affinity for Buffalo trace bourbon,
Speaker 1: although I drink mine openly.
Speaker 5: He is a sneak, but he makes me laugh the.
Speaker 1: Rest charismatic Mmmm yeah, the alpha to Yeah, did you
Speaker 1: mean that? Nope, didn't mean that at all. We meant
Speaker 1: exactly what we said. Thank you for the clarification.
Speaker 4: No, no, Danny, Danny, No.
Speaker 5: No one's ever made that mistake.
Speaker 1: Actually, definitely not when dealing with your with you, So
Speaker 1: I would say overall again, things they don't need though about.
Speaker 1: I want to stay out of doctor's offices. I want
Speaker 1: to be in apartments that look like them. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be in real ones, you know. Sixty one bumps.
Speaker 4: Wow, that's a fair amount. That's more than you gave it.
Speaker 2: Huh, I gave it fourteen. Well start showed Jack's back
Speaker 2: right season four.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. You know, my wife filmed the vlog
Speaker 4: for our daughter on the way to the hospital to deliver,
Speaker 4: and we were watching the Valley a lot at that point,
Speaker 4: so she was talking to Lucy and then she'd pan
Speaker 4: over to me and I just sang it, babe em.
Speaker 4: So my daughter will, when she's of age, ask what
Speaker 4: was the valley and I will tell her we don't
Speaker 4: need to talk about it. So we kick things off
Speaker 4: with a little rope work with Lougan Giant Zach. They
Speaker 4: work out and Zach says, this is the last time
Speaker 4: I listened to a straight man. Why was this filmed?
Speaker 4: What are we doing? Moving on? God, we really get
Speaker 4: into it for with four hours postop and Janet being
Speaker 4: the head of the household, she brings Jason back inside
Speaker 4: and he's, according to Janet, a little snippy and rude
Speaker 4: because of the anesthesia. Did anybody pick up on rude?
Speaker 4: I don't think Jason has a rude bone in his body. Really, yeah, ribs.
Speaker 1: His questioning of why he was taking his medicine right now,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll fucking keep your medicine from you
Speaker 1: if you speak to me like that.
Speaker 4: Okay, Jason, Okay, So we get to wedding invites with
Speaker 4: Jasmine and her wife. Yes, please.
Speaker 2: Those wedding invitations look like they were designed by a
Speaker 2: Vista print, very very.
Speaker 4: Very very basic. They look like. Jasmine's been having a
Speaker 4: tough time over the last two episodes in that she
Speaker 4: is in this wet paper bag and written on it
Speaker 4: is side character and she just can't get out of
Speaker 4: it and not getting trying to demand more respect, and
Speaker 4: it's this thing where it's like, we don't want lovely person.
Speaker 4: I'm sure, beautiful couple, you're just TV death. So let's
Speaker 4: do this. Let's just get rid of let's do away
Speaker 4: with it all. This is right.
Speaker 2: I think Janet and Jasmine are the same person, so
Speaker 2: I think we could do this. We have a meeting
Speaker 2: with Jasmine. Jasmine, get in here. Come on, okay, are
Speaker 2: you want to close the door, Yeah, close the door
Speaker 2: behind Melissa's out there, right, yeah, okay, good leave her
Speaker 2: out there, all right, Jasmine, this would have worked out
Speaker 2: so much pressure.
Speaker 4: You don't want me to bring her in? No, leave her?
Speaker 2: In fact, we're going to talk about her. It's not
Speaker 2: working out Withn't so we need you not to get
Speaker 2: married with her. We need to actually cheat on her
Speaker 2: with someone who's a little bit more feisty, someone who can,
Speaker 2: you know, bump heads with Laala or something. What do
Speaker 2: you think you are? We feeling the same thing here now?
Speaker 2: I love her, you love Lalla. No, I love Melissa.
Speaker 2: I know you love her, but the audience does it
Speaker 2: or they don't love you with her?
Speaker 4: Well, I'll tell you what I'm not going to do.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to cheat on my wife. You're not
Speaker 4: going to know.
Speaker 2: And you know what we're not going to do. We're
Speaker 2: not going to sign your contract.
Speaker 4: Okay, I will cheat on her. Just give me some time.
Speaker 2: Now we're you know what, Now it feels like we're
Speaker 2: kind of meeting something.
Speaker 4: It feels that way too. It feels really really good, insane.
Speaker 4: We do need to fucking have that conversation. But actually not,
Speaker 4: Let's just get her off the show. I mean, listen,
Speaker 4: she doesn't need to go. It's just whatever. It's the valley.
Speaker 4: Brittany is supposed to be planning the engagement party, but
Speaker 4: she is fresh off of surgery and a crab boil.
Speaker 4: Also Jasmine's water bottle, Ruby, please talk about it.
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 1: This entire thing is very okay, the invitation is hard
Speaker 1: to look at the the.
Speaker 5: Chili, the fridge.
Speaker 1: Proximity with food in it to a bed makes me
Speaker 1: very uncomfortable. I really dislike this generally. I hated when
Speaker 1: Arion and Tom were making lattes in their bedroom.
Speaker 5: Not cool. Don't like the I really Also, I would
Speaker 5: like to I'm sorry. I know you asked about the
Speaker 5: water bottle. I would like to just point out, very quickly.
Speaker 1: We have to remember that Jasmine was actually not the
Speaker 1: one whose bum was touched by the angry little elf right.
Speaker 1: So this ire and this passion that she has for
Speaker 1: suddenly feeling misunderstood and not backed by random members of
Speaker 1: this group eighteen months ago is misplaced.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 5: Oh he slapped Melissa's booty, Oh Patrick, yes he did.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I thought he slapped Jasmine.
Speaker 4: I thought he slaped Jazz.
Speaker 2: I think that's the worst of a crime because he
Speaker 2: doesn't even know Melissa.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the bag that was the wet paper
Speaker 1: bag just turned plastic and now it's bad for the environment.
Speaker 4: You know, Go and co get daddy a drink. Jasmine
Speaker 4: is drinking out of a square water bottle. This is happening.
Speaker 4: People are saying, we made this water bottle at square.
Speaker 4: You can put it in your purse and stuff. I don't.
Speaker 4: I can't really put it into words. It's how stupid
Speaker 4: the entire thing is.
Speaker 2: Here's what's happening to him making these.
Speaker 4: Giant water bottles that are flat square themes.
Speaker 2: We're sixty years out of running out of everything that
Speaker 2: human beings can accomplish, right, and the world's gonna end.
Speaker 4: Okay, so we move on.
Speaker 2: Zach calls he's upset. His roommates stole his fucking shit,
Speaker 2: he sole his refrigerator.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, so Zach is. He's in tears and he's
Speaker 4: overwhelmed because a monster energy drink fridge has been taken
Speaker 4: from the apartment.
Speaker 2: How old is Zach?
Speaker 4: I think he's like mid thirties.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not judging here, It's fine, I am.
Speaker 4: I can't imagine trying to level with this human being
Speaker 4: on literally anything.
Speaker 2: Would I would just say, if you do.
Speaker 4: Somebody's crying about a monster fridge saying they're overwhelmed, what
Speaker 4: could you possibly say to that?
Speaker 2: Well, I'd say, well, Zach, I understand someone stole your fridge,
Speaker 2: but what about your poor your poor life choices A
Speaker 2: little thing called poor credit checks? Right because you chose
Speaker 2: this individual, right, did you do it? Credit check on
Speaker 2: this person? Right? You're thirty five? You have seven thirty. Wow,
Speaker 2: so I guess there's a little judgment for here by.
Speaker 4: A monster energy drake fridge leaving the apartment. I can't
Speaker 4: imagine what I would say to that swell of emotion
Speaker 4: on the other side of the phone over what it's
Speaker 4: swelling for fucking crazy person.
Speaker 1: This is like people who look at like a moderate
Speaker 1: mess in a kitchen or something after like a dinner party,
Speaker 1: and they're like, I don't even know where to begin.
Speaker 5: Well, how about right, what's in front of you? Touch something?
Speaker 5: Clean it? How about you start there?
Speaker 4: And they're like, oh, I'm saying touch one.
Speaker 5: I can't. I don't know, we should we should probably do. Nope,
Speaker 5: we shouldn't.
Speaker 4: And then you know, with that being said, though, when
Speaker 4: before the child when we hosted, you do look at
Speaker 4: the stack of place and you go, it's not a
Speaker 4: crippling thing, but you do Oh, well, fuck, I should you?
Speaker 5: But would you describe that feeling. Ever, Dylan is feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker 4: No, I would not, certainly, I think he said. Did
Speaker 4: he say the fridge was his thing?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he had an attachment to it.
Speaker 4: He began speaking later on the episode about expressions through
Speaker 4: objects and that the monster energy drink fridge was a
Speaker 4: representation of him. I think he said it was his thing.
Speaker 5: Okay, so I actually do. I have a lot.
Speaker 1: Of things, just the general the general idea. So when
Speaker 1: Kristen comes to the party and she says, like, I
Speaker 1: got him this TV, whereas the TV he took the fridge,
Speaker 1: which was Zach's, Like, he literally has nothing in this home.
Speaker 1: I'm imagining that Zach would have done something. If you
Speaker 1: are moving out of an apartment with someone and it's
Speaker 1: remotely contentious and they just begin to take your furniture,
Speaker 1: you just say no or call police or something like
Speaker 1: fuck off.
Speaker 5: You're not taking thousands of dollars worth of my things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, unless you actually owned those or like, I thank
Speaker 1: you so much.
Speaker 4: For bringing this up, because when we get to this party,
Speaker 4: I go, oh, well, he then he just owned every
Speaker 4: single thing in this apartment. That's what was happening. Zach
Speaker 4: didn't own anything, because there's no way Zach would have
Speaker 4: stood idly by. Well he stole this expression of his soul.
Speaker 5: In reference no way borm.
Speaker 2: All right, So my first apartment, I've talked about it
Speaker 2: a lot. It was we called a tense city because
Speaker 2: it was a bunch of people living in this apartment. Well, anyway,
Speaker 2: me and this other guy named Korby, we were both
Speaker 2: like twenty three. This guy Nick, he was the guy
Speaker 2: who had the actual elease, and he would lie to us.
Speaker 2: He didn't tell us that there would be seven other
Speaker 2: people living in this apartment, and we both got us
Speaker 2: locked into this apartment. Anyway, after about a year, Nick
Speaker 2: started being a total psycho, so we went and got
Speaker 2: our own apartment together. Of course, we didn't have a refrigerator,
Speaker 2: so when Nick wasn't home at that apartment one day,
Speaker 2: we did steal that refrigerator. And we didn't tell him
Speaker 2: we were leaving either and we just got the fuck
Speaker 2: out of there. And so whenever he call one of us,
Speaker 2: we wouldn't pick up the phone. And then like a
Speaker 2: month and a half later, he called us from a
Speaker 2: different number and we picked up and he told us,
Speaker 2: I'm going to kill you if I ever find you
Speaker 2: guys in that refrigerator because the landlord was asking him
Speaker 2: where the refrigerator was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, now see that's a little story
Speaker 4: of two reps gallons twenty three years old. Right, this
Speaker 4: is a giant thirty seven year old. It's just a
Speaker 4: little bit of a difference of fifteen years almost. So
Speaker 4: it's just different. So we get to Patti shown coffee
Speaker 4: shop with just way too many roses. It's just this
Speaker 4: place is crazy.
Speaker 2: Maybe he used the forty bucks for flowers.
Speaker 4: Maybe m They make Turkish coffee here and strawberry milk,
Speaker 4: and this is where I pine pill jacks. I did
Speaker 4: them all.
Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, bitch, you treat bitch.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know what's funny is he still would have been abusive,
Speaker 1: but like either way, she was never getting her pain bills.
Speaker 4: No, no, absolutely not. But I think we have this
Speaker 4: conversation with Michelle and Nia at Pegian coffee shop. So
Speaker 4: I want to take a second to speak of the
Speaker 4: king and Queen of this dirt pile of a television
Speaker 4: show for a second. Okay, my darling, Cecilia, I think
Speaker 4: the TV was paused and it was on Nia, who's
Speaker 4: just absolutely stunning. But Ceci, almost like a a presentation,
Speaker 4: started to break down the hair and the makeup for
Speaker 4: this a scene going to get coffee, and it was
Speaker 4: pretty alarming what she was able to do with seventy
Speaker 4: children running around the house. Now, my point being, Nia
Speaker 4: has an evangelical pit viper in her and I'm starting
Speaker 4: to that conversation that she had with La La. I
Speaker 4: think it was last episode where she just quietly smiled
Speaker 4: and dismantled Lala's attempt at a storyline at the expense
Speaker 4: of her husband. That kind of maneuvering running cover for
Speaker 4: what it's running cover for is like, it's just a
Speaker 4: fucking gross thing to witness, Like it seems like it's
Speaker 4: I don't know, it's such a waste of such a power.
Speaker 2: It is, but she's married to the city and they
Speaker 2: both need to make money off being on this show,
Speaker 2: so consider it self preservation.
Speaker 4: Dylan, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a good point. But
Speaker 4: still it's really it's and we'll get gas lit through
Speaker 4: throughout this episode with the meeting of the minds, and
Speaker 4: you know, why is everybody ganging up on Danny. It
Speaker 4: is kind of bad and he's he just sucks.
Speaker 2: She is attempting, and I don't know how well she's
Speaker 2: doing thus far, but attempting to move the narrative off
Speaker 2: her drunk little husband. And because La La has managed
Speaker 2: to completely move it on to him. Yeah yeah, So this, this,
Speaker 2: in fact, this very coffee date with Michelle is doing
Speaker 2: some is meant to do damage control.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah. And and I don't know ubes you know
Speaker 4: what I'm saying where it's just like this this frustration
Speaker 4: that you know, God is saying to be indebted to
Speaker 4: this person. Now, it's it's commendable that they're just sticking
Speaker 4: through it, but it's just God, the two of them suck.
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Speaker 1: It is we forget too that like Nia has the
Speaker 1: resilience of somebody who was actually a homeless person and
Speaker 1: had to sleep in her car.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 5: She's like also a black belt, so this is a
Speaker 5: very action person.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the the depths of hell that this woman knows,
Speaker 1: right are it? Truly is compared to La La, who's
Speaker 1: just like all thrown down. No you won't though, you
Speaker 1: won't and if you try to, she will just kill
Speaker 1: you with these because she's a black belt and she
Speaker 1: was previously homeless, so Nia is. And then you add
Speaker 1: that she looks like a real life angel. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you see and the cameras panning and you're like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: we're about to see like the most wonderful and or
Speaker 1: actually a charming and charismatic guy that I've ever seen
Speaker 1: in my life as her husb.
Speaker 4: Oops.
Speaker 5: Oh oh that's he, that's her kid. Oh what?
Speaker 4: Oh no, that's a man. That's a charismatic.
Speaker 5: Man, that's a full grown Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, it's it's a bummer. But we talk about the divorce,
Speaker 4: and then we launch into another defense of Danny, and
Speaker 4: I don't know if she has a point here or not.
Speaker 4: I've missed the last two episodes.
Speaker 2: Michelle Nias just makes the point that everyone in this
Speaker 2: fucking group has been a drunk asshole on occasion, and
Speaker 2: why is it just being pinpointed at her husband.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's skyslighting though, right, because there's a volume here
Speaker 4: and a frequency to Danny, correct Eve.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if there is a frequency or
Speaker 1: a volume, Like they're all drunk when they're together, but
Speaker 1: he's the only one who's lying about it and being
Speaker 1: a cheap, little sneaky y elf, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, well mommy got Mommy got a booboo. Brittany
Speaker 4: is clearing her balls and no, Brandon, the new buddy,
Speaker 4: heads over. Now. This is when she is running low
Speaker 4: on pails, okay, and she needed what's his name, Brandon?
Speaker 4: You need Brandon to go pick up those pills, and
Speaker 4: when he doesn't, she decides to punish him. She says, hey,
Speaker 4: take a look at this, take a look at my balls.
Speaker 4: They're supposed to be clear before I get him out.
Speaker 4: And then I think in an interview, goes. You know,
Speaker 4: I still wanted to find me attractive. That don't pull
Speaker 4: the balls out.
Speaker 1: This type of surgery should be this recovery should only
Speaker 1: be shared between married people.
Speaker 4: And more long term relationship with people that don't ask
Speaker 4: for forty dollars.
Speaker 1: Right, this balls, the balls of gunk, are not the
Speaker 1: draining balls are not something that people that are still
Speaker 1: trying to prove that they have like worth in a
Speaker 1: relationship should be shown.
Speaker 4: You know, it's so crazy because we talk about letting
Speaker 4: your guard down early on in a relationship, and what
Speaker 4: a bad move this is. I mean, Pat's written a
Speaker 4: book on it. We speak of burping, farting, leaving the
Speaker 4: bedroom door open. This is showing two balls filled with
Speaker 4: your plasma spilling into them. So it's just a completely different.
Speaker 2: Level of to be fair, by what I saw in
Speaker 2: their interaction, the honeymoon.
Speaker 4: Is clearly over. Oh yeah, definitely she needs to leave him.
Speaker 4: So let's learn a little bit more about Brandon. He
Speaker 4: was supposed to be heading in on Wednesday. He is
Speaker 4: not because he's so busy, and so instead he's going
Speaker 4: to be heading in on Friday. Also, he needed forty dollars,
Speaker 4: and this is where Brittany tells Kristin. I don't know
Speaker 4: what she tells Kristen. She tells Kristin what's happening, but
Speaker 4: I don't think that she I mean break up with
Speaker 4: him immediately though after that. But I don't know how
Speaker 4: long Brandon's going to be hanging around because Brittany is
Speaker 4: pretty damaged in that department.
Speaker 2: Well, self esteem. Yeah, this is the question. Brittany. You've
Speaker 2: been on television for ten years. You're attractive, you're wealthy,
Speaker 2: you're funny, and why is your self esteem? Solo is?
Speaker 2: Did did JACKX do this to you?
Speaker 4: It wasn't just Jacks, because in order to be with
Speaker 4: Jacks you have to have just dungeon levels of self esteem.
Speaker 4: But Brittany should. And Brittany is wonderful. She is funny
Speaker 4: in her own me my way. She cooks a mean
Speaker 4: overcooked pork chop and can pour a can of Bush's
Speaker 4: beans into a pot like nobody else.
Speaker 2: But the fact that this is the what do you
Speaker 2: call the second guy you date the first guy you dated?
Speaker 4: Up?
Speaker 1: Rebound?
Speaker 2: Your rebound? I mean you can see this from a
Speaker 2: mile away, that this is not he asked for forty dollars,
Speaker 2: he asked for forty dollars.
Speaker 5: Okay, so I just have to share that.
Speaker 1: Recently it's been it's made clear to us that he
Speaker 1: has on Twitter commented to somebody said, Brittany, he went
Speaker 1: from jacks to this guy. He then said, would you
Speaker 1: give someone you've known for twenty years and are now
Speaker 1: dating forty dollars? That's basically what she did. That money
Speaker 1: she gave me didn't hurt her pockets. Bro, you have
Speaker 1: no idea the lifestyle those people live. That money saved
Speaker 1: me for a month. That was a drop in the
Speaker 1: well to her. Someone else commented and said she's a
Speaker 1: single mother with an autistic child, and his response was,
Speaker 1: I'm a single father with three kids. What's your point.
Speaker 1: Then our Queen Kristin Dowdy Dodie comes in and says,
Speaker 1: what in the actual fuck is he doing even commenting?
Speaker 5: Smh?
Speaker 4: Great, great question, Kristin. He's getting in the mud on Twitter,
Speaker 4: and I'm just even more confused. This is like a
Speaker 4: practical joke. Okay, forty dollars saved me for months. What
Speaker 4: economy is this person?
Speaker 2: His phone on or something?
Speaker 5: Well, again, I don't mean to break it to you.
Speaker 5: What phone line? Mint mobile?
Speaker 4: Is did he have a juicy fruit addiction that he's
Speaker 4: not finance?
Speaker 2: You're right?
Speaker 4: The fuck is going on? All right, let's get to
Speaker 4: dinner with Nia and Danny. A taste of the godella
Speaker 4: for both.
Speaker 2: Four on the floor and one more dude punch him
Speaker 2: in the face.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, So as two gay dead dads right now,
Speaker 4: I think we agree with Danny. Puke is way worse
Speaker 4: than poop. Yeah, I hate puke.
Speaker 2: The splatter zone is way more. Yeah, it's disgusting, so
Speaker 2: hot these two crazy kids though they're so in love clearly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: exhibited full and full display here on this date, which
Speaker 2: is what it's meant to show us.
Speaker 4: It was nice to see him contribute to, uh, the
Speaker 4: rearing of young Adelaide. But we get to this moment
Speaker 4: where we discussed the visa to me and Danny mentions
Speaker 4: wanting to have another child?
Speaker 2: Why I, what's wrong.
Speaker 4: With for I? What's wrong with two? What's wrong with three?
Speaker 4: How are we getting to let's have a fifth child
Speaker 4: in Santa Clarita. I really don't understand his mindset.
Speaker 1: Rually, go ahead, Okay, So I say this as a
Speaker 1: non parent, that's the only disclaimer.
Speaker 5: I'm willing to give.
Speaker 1: This is the type of thing that makes me say
Speaker 1: we must all remember as women, the people that you
Speaker 1: choose to have kids with is arguably it's the most
Speaker 1: important decision you're going to make. Fuck your marriage, not
Speaker 1: remotely as important you can divorce them. Watching this person
Speaker 1: sit next to his daughter and he has watching Nia
Speaker 1: be the only one that knows she's about to melt down,
Speaker 1: the only one that knows how to bounce her, the
Speaker 1: only one that knows he doesn't know how to care
Speaker 1: for his child.
Speaker 4: And it's a result fourth one too. It's the fourth one, right, I.
Speaker 5: Believe it was.
Speaker 1: I was listening to I think Danny Pellegrino amazing. He
Speaker 1: was like, I'm sorry to be on number four and
Speaker 1: still grossed out by throw up like this, grow up.
Speaker 5: At your Danny.
Speaker 1: You he has disdain for parenthood in this phase and
Speaker 1: he wants five.
Speaker 5: It's fuck you, Mia.
Speaker 1: Date a billionaire from a different country above six foot
Speaker 1: and see what happens to your life.
Speaker 4: Okay, she really could. She could bag a billionaire very easily.
Speaker 4: But let's get to the forty one hundred forty one
Speaker 4: hundred club. Pat's all Pat's old stomp exit those real
Speaker 4: great rent.
Speaker 2: Great job. Those of you who have been listening to
Speaker 2: us for a number of years, I've talked about the
Speaker 2: lore of one of my greatest friends, Bob the gay Dwarf. Yes,
Speaker 2: this place is the place where Bob was shooting his
Speaker 2: fucking mouth off, then drank too much tequila. He passed
Speaker 2: out and we weren't ready to go home yet, so
Speaker 2: then we carried him out. Obviously, it wasn't hard to do,
Speaker 2: very light.
Speaker 4: And we we've talked about it.
Speaker 2: Very dense, and we dragged him out and put him
Speaker 2: next to the dumpster until we were ready to go,
Speaker 2: and he little guy just slept next to the dumpster. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was right near that area where they were drinking
Speaker 2: and did this very scene.
Speaker 4: Yeah, memories.
Speaker 2: You just liked to I just posted a picture a
Speaker 2: video of me podcasting with Ruby and k Casey on
Speaker 2: Facebook and Bob liked it.
Speaker 4: Really. Can I ask you something? Were you happier than
Speaker 4: in those days?
Speaker 2: Different kind of happiness?
Speaker 4: Were tagging Bob the Cage Dwarf out to a dumpster
Speaker 4: than you are now?
Speaker 2: Well, that was a good time. That was a good time.
Speaker 4: It sounds like a good time.
Speaker 2: We had a great time. Those were good times. It's
Speaker 2: different now my wife, saving is different. I always don't
Speaker 2: don't I always I used to have to stay up
Speaker 2: till four in the morning, sometimes have sex with two girls,
Speaker 2: drink all night, do drugs, party day, and sleep in
Speaker 2: and thank God, since I met my wife, I never
Speaker 2: have to live that hell again.
Speaker 4: Imagine the generosity to grab someone from certain doom hell
Speaker 4: and lifting them out of that spiritual poverty. What an
Speaker 4: act of love?
Speaker 2: Fuck?
Speaker 1: Man, do you think it's a coping mechanism that you
Speaker 1: guys say that you're happy.
Speaker 4: No, it's just a lie. No.
Speaker 2: But also can't do it when you're my age, because
Speaker 2: you're the fucking old, creepy, fucking back.
Speaker 4: Listen, we're very happy, a pile of shit is this place,
Speaker 4: and we get to the overwhelming moment, the recounting the
Speaker 4: overwhelming moment and the loss of the monster fridge. Now
Speaker 4: we're going to be hosting this party. We'll get to
Speaker 4: the party. But we get to a post that Kristen
Speaker 4: med on social media about learning how to model a
Speaker 4: marriage from Nia and Danny, and she's not wrong. The
Speaker 4: way that you model a marriage is kind of like
Speaker 4: Nia and Danny, especially when you're in the throes of
Speaker 4: the game of bumps. But there are these principles of
Speaker 4: like there's it should be a very rare thing to
Speaker 4: have your marriage, you know, fracture to an irreparable degree,
Speaker 4: and you have to fucking have each other's fucking backs. Okay,
Speaker 4: so you too, versus the world. You have a responsibility
Speaker 4: to one another. Okay, if a body needs to be married,
Speaker 4: the shovels will come out. Okay, it's in the oaths somewhere.
Speaker 4: But this is where Jasmine goes. You know, I gotta say,
Speaker 4: I am tired of not being supported. And Jasmine, what
Speaker 4: are you doing on this television show? It's crazy? Wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, again, I just want to point out that. Then
Speaker 1: she says, she yells it at, she yells at Zach
Speaker 1: in this parking lot of a place, and she says,
Speaker 1: why didn't you Why did you raise your hand then,
Speaker 1: you know, two years ago whatever at that reunion, and
Speaker 1: and and again, why do you care so much and
Speaker 1: about something that didn't happen to you?
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, well yeah, I've had enough. But but we
Speaker 4: pick up.
Speaker 2: But she does want Zach to speak to Danny.
Speaker 4: Yes, that speak you will some really important conversations gonna
Speaker 4: lead to Uh. Now, Jasmine heads over to Mima's house
Speaker 4: and says, oh my god, you're titty are so small?
Speaker 2: What whoa? Yeah, that caught me to ask.
Speaker 4: Looks like they are still just so big.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Dylan, this is this is gargantuan.
Speaker 4: It's gargantuan. But anyways, they are down and we'll get
Speaker 4: to the Britney moment. But it actually was really kind
Speaker 4: of sweet to see her. Well, we'll get to it.
Speaker 4: It was a sweet moment, but right now she's still
Speaker 4: healing and she needs to have the chili that she's
Speaker 4: going to be eating later plate in the fridge next
Speaker 4: to the bed.
Speaker 2: And then and then I think Jasmine says, hey, is
Speaker 2: that an empty white claw?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And then we get the roll back of
Speaker 2: the footage and it was that sneaky little guy, you know,
Speaker 2: drinking that white claw.
Speaker 1: I was so enraged at first because I was like,
Speaker 1: I hate that, Jasmine, you know. And again she came
Speaker 1: out and she was like, oh, this is so weird,
Speaker 1: Like what was this like empty way and no, actually,
Speaker 1: according to the film, that's exactly what took place. The
Speaker 1: elf one in there chugged his white claw and did
Speaker 1: leave the can and that's why people are blowing your
Speaker 1: drinking out of proportion when Jesse is also.
Speaker 5: Getting drunk and calling the mother of his child the hooker,
Speaker 5: right right?
Speaker 4: Can I say? Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say something about Jesse real
Speaker 2: quick because it was going to be in my bumps.
Speaker 2: Jesse's role on this show as the villain has truly
Speaker 2: been diminished, and I do blame Lacey for that because
Speaker 2: she's so in line. If you just harken back to
Speaker 2: just last season, him polishing off two bottles of champagne
Speaker 2: before nine am, and then as Ruby pointed out, alleging
Speaker 2: that his former wife was a very inexpensive hooker, and
Speaker 2: we've seen none of that this season.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think Michelle, sorry, Dell, I think it's because
Speaker 1: of what Michelle says later in the day that she's like.
Speaker 1: I think he is trying to be what he thinks
Speaker 1: Lacey wants in his spouse. And I to her credit,
Speaker 1: although you think her face is melting, I don't think
Speaker 1: she wants to date.
Speaker 2: That breaking apart like concrete that's been held with the jackailer,
Speaker 2: you don't need to.
Speaker 5: Well, I think a little that was Caddy let.
Speaker 4: Me save you. That can was found in the gym,
Speaker 4: clearly a part of the house that know what, has
Speaker 4: got into it a while, and that's why you need
Speaker 4: jaxx Taylor's Okay, you need Jax Taylor because he's in
Speaker 4: there doing lines of cocaine and throwing wade around. Okay,
Speaker 4: but no, you, I kid, But you know obviously people
Speaker 4: are going in there because Jack's been found it very easily.
Speaker 4: But it seems as that that ken has been there
Speaker 4: for weeks. And the thing shock you, No, it doesn't
Speaker 4: shock me. It's a big house. The thing that shocks me, though,
Speaker 4: is the level of intoxication that would lead you to
Speaker 4: leaving a can just on the counter of a room
Speaker 4: in someone's house.
Speaker 2: Well, if you're drunk and you're trying to hide the
Speaker 2: fact that you're drunk, you just just leave it there
Speaker 2: because you don't want any connection with it.
Speaker 4: Put it in a fucking trash can somewhere. Ruby, go ahead.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: So I was going to say, you either leave it
Speaker 1: there because you can't bring it back out with you
Speaker 1: or a thought that popped into my head in addition
Speaker 1: to that was if you have to have both of
Speaker 1: your hands free to do something else, and you put
Speaker 1: said drink down and then forget.
Speaker 5: About it because you're so fucked up. That's maybe that's
Speaker 5: also what happens.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's clearly the blood alcohol level that led him
Speaker 4: to just leaving the can behind. But yeah, Brittany's going
Speaker 4: to eat the chili. Later we moved to the six.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the six.
Speaker 4: Baby you have baby you ben?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not that good.
Speaker 4: Where is it?
Speaker 2: Right on Ventourea Boulevard, the six cross from Jerry's. Oh
Speaker 2: really yeah, small place?
Speaker 4: The six? Fuck? Yeah, Well, Jesse orders I believe half
Speaker 4: a vodkatonic. I think I don't know why I heard that,
Speaker 4: But Danny arrives. The most uncomfortable thing with Danny's always
Speaker 4: this question of are you going to be drinking around
Speaker 4: other people? It just makes my skin crawl. He goes, no,
Speaker 4: I'm not going to I'm just gonna have water, and
Speaker 4: that will quickly be absolutely nuked by a drink order
Speaker 4: or a consumption of alcohol in a very quick and
Speaker 4: sneaky manner. He's a drunk.
Speaker 2: He's a drunk.
Speaker 4: But we sit down and we have this game of
Speaker 4: bumps kind of conversation that, if I'm being honest, made
Speaker 4: zero sense to me. So Jesse tries to present to
Speaker 4: this narrative that people are zeroing in unfairly on the
Speaker 4: little drunk Health because he is a little drunk Health,
Speaker 4: but not that often and it's not a big deal,
Speaker 4: and then presents this kind of war game that it's
Speaker 4: actually Britney who is the person that we need to
Speaker 4: go after.
Speaker 2: And it was Jack's that started it with Brittany.
Speaker 4: But then she co signed on it, and then also
Speaker 4: he said something about her. They go back to the
Speaker 4: tape with her talking to Lacey. It just didn't make
Speaker 4: any sense to me. I don't know what Jesse. She think.
Speaker 2: It was a power struggle over the show when it
Speaker 2: initially started, this is my take, and they were like,
Speaker 2: do not let them have too much power. So the
Speaker 2: way that you keep him in line is you go
Speaker 2: after him. And I think Brittany never liked Nia because
Speaker 2: she's really pretty. That's my thought. And so let's just
Speaker 2: punch them down a couple pegs. Ruby, what do you
Speaker 2: think of my theory?
Speaker 1: Well, so, okay, I think a lot of that could
Speaker 1: be true. All of it could also be true. I
Speaker 1: think that what Schwartz says as well, which is like
Speaker 1: when your husband is abusive, does a lot of cocaine
Speaker 1: and just decides to hate somebody. Instead of being like Jack,
Speaker 1: don't say that that's so mean. You shouldn't talk about you.
Speaker 1: Just say, like, I know he's so drunk all the
Speaker 1: time every time we see him, like to a certain extent,
Speaker 1: just fucking agree with the guy and be like, you're right,
Speaker 1: he's a demon and we should try to take him down.
Speaker 1: I also think what you're saying is correct. Pat, two
Speaker 1: things can be true. But when we arrived, I have
Speaker 1: to clarify something with you. I believe that they Danny
Speaker 1: when he has voiceovers in La he stays at like
Speaker 1: an apartment or.
Speaker 5: At a hotel.
Speaker 4: I think, so probably okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So I just want to put that in the column
Speaker 1: of like reason like thirty five, that this marriage will work, longevity,
Speaker 1: like faithfulness, like they are built to last.
Speaker 4: Say, he may drive back to Santa Clarita. I don't
Speaker 4: know that he does, though, I mean, what's the what's
Speaker 4: venture to Santa Clarita at like ten o'clock at night?
Speaker 4: Thirty minutes less? You think, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll see note on this little guy meet up here.
Speaker 2: Schwartz actually gives us a little update on his relationship
Speaker 2: with Keana Mowana whatever.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: He tells us they're so in love and it's because
Speaker 2: they have so much in common.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they love cocaine.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love how she has to bring her a
Speaker 2: little buddy everywhere they go to if you notice.
Speaker 4: The little the little Levi comes around everywhere weather Yep,
Speaker 4: that's fun. All right, Let's get to Brittany, who heads
Speaker 4: back to the Beverly Hills place.
Speaker 2: This is her swan reveal.
Speaker 4: Yes, this is her swan reveal. The balls are kind
Speaker 4: of clear now, so we take a look at the
Speaker 4: work and the doctors after unveiling her breasts, say now,
Speaker 4: now see do you see how before we got our
Speaker 4: hands on you, your your tits were disgusting, mangled message right,
Speaker 4: you looked like absolute shit. But now look look at
Speaker 4: what's happened. Da da da da. But I do mean
Speaker 4: there's a really sweet moment in Brittany kind of seeing
Speaker 4: her body and being happy with it because all that
Speaker 4: matter did really fucking unload on her self worth and
Speaker 4: I'm really happy for Britney. Brittany's a sweetheart.
Speaker 2: You know, when I got my initial double chin removed
Speaker 2: and like, uh, I remember thinking like, wow, okay, I
Speaker 2: finally got rid of my double chin because I used
Speaker 2: to like starve myself and what would still be left
Speaker 2: is my fucking double chin. I couldn't get right rid
Speaker 2: of it, right, so I spent all this money I
Speaker 2: put on my credit card. It was like four grand.
Speaker 2: Everyone around would go, oh, you still got a double chin.
Speaker 2: I was like, you fucking pricks. And I hope for
Speaker 2: Brittany people don't think, wow, you look the same.
Speaker 5: I don't think they do, Pat, So that's good, right.
Speaker 5: I'm very happy for her too. I also want to
Speaker 5: again just point out.
Speaker 1: Dylan is gasping for air when they show her large
Speaker 1: breasts with her nipples blurred out. The only thing I
Speaker 1: could think about was, oh my goodness, those are heaving mammies.
Speaker 5: And that's the after. So happy for her, though, Thank
Speaker 5: you for talking.
Speaker 4: Yep okay, crab boils and surgery to lift the pain
Speaker 4: of abuse. Let's get to the apartment.
Speaker 2: First off, I want to thank but acknowledge Zach for
Speaker 2: doing this in the producers understanding why we should do this,
Speaker 2: nine cast members, a crew members in a two hundred
Speaker 2: square foot apartment with a wall mounted air conditioning unit.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4: Okay, I gotta calm down. I have got to calm down,
Speaker 4: wasn't he? It's fine, it's fine. Let's do this like
Speaker 4: we discussed. Let's get some furniture in the apartment. Let's
Speaker 4: make it look less like we're throwing a party for
Speaker 4: surviving a home invasion and more like a housewarming party.
Speaker 2: Can I say this, Michelle, I believe in her friend
Speaker 2: arrived first and she's offered a drink, and oh.
Speaker 4: I love Natalie. Get Natalie on the show. He's hilarious,
Speaker 4: she's hot.
Speaker 2: I like, now, yeah, a little snobby and Michelle, I
Speaker 2: don't drink out of a red Solo cups? Okay, but
Speaker 2: lived in a house where this was a constant sout right?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, all right, that's such a good point. How
Speaker 4: can you have no tolerance for red solo cup but
Speaker 4: have lived in.
Speaker 2: A beehive with that guy looking at you all the time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's way that Aaron when he was okay, Yeah,
Speaker 4: there's no way that Aaron when he was sleeping closed
Speaker 4: his eyes all the way. There's no way.
Speaker 2: The lids aren't long enough to stretch over.
Speaker 4: Those The length it's the length that's missing.
Speaker 1: That scene in Matilda where the mom sits up in
Speaker 1: bed and her sleep mask has the eyes on it.
Speaker 1: My god, that's erin just all the time.
Speaker 4: Though, was Jennifer Tilly the mom and that.
Speaker 1: No Dylan, not even remotely. But also, just want to say, Michelle,
Speaker 1: here's another thing that I really appreciated.
Speaker 5: There was a lot.
Speaker 1: Of ambient lighting in this establishment. Producers or maybe it
Speaker 1: was Zach or BINGI, I'm not sure. No one would
Speaker 1: turn off the overhead lighting, and so everyone arriving in
Speaker 1: high heels and bodycon dresses. It was an incredible thing
Speaker 1: to watch. These people are almost forty years old. They
Speaker 1: are dressed to go to like a wedding welcome party
Speaker 1: type that level of event, Okay, and then they walk
Speaker 1: into the scene that Pat described, and that is that's
Speaker 1: what I want to see more of.
Speaker 5: And Michelle thought she would be probably what the fifth
Speaker 5: cast member to arrive. No, no, baby, come on in
Speaker 5: here with your wine that you can't drink?
Speaker 2: What do you want?
Speaker 4: Stito's right, right, right, because what we don't have is
Speaker 4: an ability to open a bottle of wine here. Okay,
Speaker 4: Also there are holes in the wall, but you can
Speaker 4: have an orange ice we have forty eight of them,
Speaker 4: or you can have some.
Speaker 5: Tito's and that's, honestly it one of those.
Speaker 4: All right, So schwartz Head heads over with Fabiano and
Speaker 4: La la is by all right, all right, Lala, you
Speaker 4: know liquor makes us do a lot of crazy things.
Speaker 4: The TV has been ripped off the wall, and I
Speaker 4: know that Lacey's face is confusing to you.
Speaker 2: Beautiful girl.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree. Her looking at the dominoes was my
Speaker 4: favorite moment of the episode. Agreed ew ew ew ew Okay,
Speaker 4: we get to this divorce cult conversation, and I agree
Speaker 4: with Laala here, Lacey, you have gotten on a pair
Speaker 4: of stilts and you have marched way too far over
Speaker 4: the line talking about Michelle and her boyfriend's wedding that
Speaker 4: they paid too much for it. Maybe just lead that
Speaker 4: one alone. That's a little too dunky.
Speaker 2: You're referring to Lacy and Michelle kind of having a
Speaker 2: good time chatting about talking about defor.
Speaker 4: I don't know how good of a time Michelle was having,
Speaker 4: but yeah, Rubes, go ahead.
Speaker 1: That's what I was going to say, is like, hey, Michelle.
Speaker 1: Although I think that at that point Lacey was overstepping
Speaker 1: a little bit.
Speaker 5: Nothing. It's not going to make you.
Speaker 1: Burst into flames if you chuckle a little bit, like
Speaker 1: her being like you can join our cult, like you
Speaker 1: don't despise Schwartz. He laughed at it like you. It
Speaker 1: was like, oh god, this is the iciest reception ever.
Speaker 1: So I was also like, you know what, Lacy, I
Speaker 1: don't really blame you for being like your wedding was
Speaker 1: so fucking expensive. It was crazy. How dumb of you
Speaker 1: like laugh at something we're trying. It's awkward for all
Speaker 1: of us.
Speaker 4: Help me, yeah, help me. Speaking of awkward, we get
Speaker 4: to the toast I believe, or it is, the conversation
Speaker 4: with the charismatic Danny up first, ye yes, okay, So
Speaker 4: Zach says that he needs to have a conversation with
Speaker 4: him and as a ball brother, hold space for Danny
Speaker 4: to remember what the fuck he's talking about. They discuss
Speaker 4: that Danny's alpha energy comes out a little bit too
Speaker 4: much when he gets drunk. Zach doesn't care, loves him,
Speaker 4: it's all good. Just just wanted to let you know
Speaker 4: that there's alpha And it was so funny. Was before
Speaker 4: they had this conversation. I believe Danny was talking to
Speaker 4: Melissa in front of those fifty orange ice bottles, and
Speaker 4: he said, you know the reason why these conversations have
Speaker 4: not landed with Danny is because he hasn't had the
Speaker 4: conversation with me yet. Okay, so that's why we haven't
Speaker 4: reversed his alcoholism. But me, giant monster energy refrigerator in
Speaker 4: human form, has this conversation.
Speaker 2: It'll all get fixed. Okay, Zach got it. It's so
Speaker 2: fascinating with Zach. The sense of self worth that he
Speaker 2: has is amazing, incredible. We didn't mention that Danny Danny.
Speaker 2: Danny sneaks a number of drinks in this episode too.
Speaker 4: He does.
Speaker 2: Why does he do that? Have some drinks at home
Speaker 2: on them, take a roadie so you relax. You got
Speaker 2: the buzz on it. I can just chill at the.
Speaker 4: Party, yeah, or take some anti anxiety medication. I don't
Speaker 4: know what you need to do. But there's this weird
Speaker 4: thing where he's sneaking drinks. They would say, because the
Speaker 4: narrative is so strong and he wants to avoid the narrative.
Speaker 4: Here's the problem, though, you little charismatic man. It makes
Speaker 4: you look even worse like a drunk, which is why
Speaker 4: you're doing it. Let's not kid around. You don't care
Speaker 4: about the narrative. You have an addiction to alcohol. Go ahead, Ruby, Okay.
Speaker 1: First of all, I will I will now be calling
Speaker 1: him mister Chrisma when I can remember to. I think
Speaker 1: part of the reason he's hiding it is because he's
Speaker 1: telling Nia that he is not drinking right right, And
Speaker 1: then he's kind of playing it off of this whole
Speaker 1: narrative thing. I think you're right, he obviously has no it.
Speaker 1: He doesn't give a shit about the narrative. But I
Speaker 1: think that the hiding it thing is because he is
Speaker 1: trying to hide it from the people that he's there with.
Speaker 1: But mainly I think he's telling Nia that he's going
Speaker 1: to these things and not drinking. He keeps talking about
Speaker 1: all of the ice water that he's drinking in front
Speaker 1: of her.
Speaker 5: It's so weird.
Speaker 1: And when she comes to that garage and knocks on
Speaker 1: that door and says knock knock, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 4: Your handler's here. You've been away from the Beacon for
Speaker 4: a little bit too long.
Speaker 1: Dan, Your ankle is buzzing, Danny, Yeah, we got a
Speaker 1: little buzz.
Speaker 4: Your table's ready, got to get you back. We get
Speaker 4: to the speech. We wrap up with Zach gathering everybody
Speaker 4: on the floor to hear him cry about a venmo.
Speaker 4: He's going to be sending Chris. This is one of
Speaker 4: the saddest tudid beings I think on reality television right now.
Speaker 4: It's it's it's just really crazy what he does on TV.
Speaker 4: I don't know how much that venmo was.
Speaker 5: It was two thousand dollars he owed her thirteen hundred.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, well, very moving, very moving.
Speaker 2: I will say. Out of the three season Zach has
Speaker 2: been on our screens, this has been his least annoying
Speaker 2: and most tolerable.
Speaker 4: Agreed, Yeah, I guess, I guess, and yeah, I speaking
Speaker 4: sloppily and hyperbolically. Obviously, there are people on you know,
Speaker 4: say yes to the felon you know on TLC are
Speaker 4: sadder than Zach. He's not, He's not that bad, but
Speaker 4: he is a very confusing and goofy human being getting
Speaker 4: the comments. Let us know what you think about any
Speaker 4: of the cast of characters on this The Valley, the
Speaker 4: recap of this episode and more. We love you guys
Speaker 4: very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye. He
Speaker 4: is
Speaker 2: Your head.