1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:00,600 Speaker 1: Hello. 2 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 2: In the spirit of Halloween and it being Good Morning 3 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,719 from Hell's one year anniversary being independent, we wanted to 4 00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:10,519 re release some of our favorite spooky episodes, So I 5 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:15,439 hope you enjoy. 6 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: Good Morning from Hell. 7 00:00:21,359 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 3: I'm Chris and I died recently, and my eternal punishment 8 00:00:24,719 --> 00:00:27,719 is to do a podcast where I interview everyone in 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,359 Hell with the owner of my soul. 10 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: Oh, I got you're here, Chris. 11 00:00:34,359 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 4: Oh, you wouldn't believe what's going on out there? 12 00:00:36,719 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: Hi? What? 13 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 2: What? 14 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 1: What's going on? 15 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:38,520 Speaker 5: Oh? 16 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: My god, Chris? 17 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 6: All Hell is broken loose. Yeah, all Hell's broken loose. 18 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:47,439 All of Hell, they're broken out, They're all literally Yeah, 19 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,799 So Hell's broken loose. It's it's insane. There's just been 20 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:54,520 a huge jail break. The infidels are running amok, the 21 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:55,679 demons are trying to clean it up. 22 00:00:55,679 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 1: It's a mass Chris. 23 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 3: So does that mean we're like riding and we're all 24 00:01:00,039 --> 00:01:02,799 we're uprising? And I can should I rise up against you? 25 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: Yeah? 26 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,799 Speaker 6: I mean you could try, but no, no, you're a 27 00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:07,120 good boy. You're gonna stay perfectly still right here, or 28 00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:10,680 also kill you. But no, good good thing you're saying 29 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,480 here and that you didn't join the rest of them, 30 00:01:12,519 --> 00:01:14,840 and because they're they're scattering up on earth. In case 31 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,799 some of them getting up into heaven, oh man, it 32 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,519 would have been the best opportunity for you to escape. Luckily, 33 00:01:19,599 --> 00:01:21,359 you're here doing this podcast with me. 34 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 4: Oh gosh. 35 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,719 Speaker 1: Well okay, all right, all right, that's good. You hear that? 36 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,959 Ye bells? 37 00:01:29,079 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that means that that means that the problem 38 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,640 is they've they've figured it out. Okay, yeah, they've contained 39 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,280 the situation. 40 00:01:37,359 --> 00:01:38,079 Speaker 1: Oh good. 41 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 4: Let's just hope that uh so it doesn't get cold 42 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,159 and that hell freeze is over. 43 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be bad. Yeah. Yeah, all right, are we starting? Yeah, yeah, 44 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,000 we started. Yes, you're Clayton, the vice president of Health 45 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:49,760 Vice president. 46 00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 4: Hell to you, Good morning to you, Good morning from Hell. 47 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: Same of our show. We do it once a week. 48 00:01:55,519 --> 00:01:56,640 So I got a couple of questions and then we 49 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:57,239 got an interview. 50 00:01:57,239 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 6: All right, quick you and it quick quickly. Little lightning 51 00:01:59,799 --> 00:02:02,439 round all right, chow, that's the sound of lightning. All right, 52 00:02:03,439 --> 00:02:04,079 good chow. 53 00:02:04,239 --> 00:02:07,959 Speaker 3: This is from Kirk Devin on Twitter. Clayton, what is 54 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,319 the best part of having hoods? 55 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 2: Uh? 56 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,719 Speaker 6: There's several advantages, you know, like I can step on 57 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,120 difficult terrain, you know, like Lego Beach. 58 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,319 Speaker 1: You know, I love going there. 59 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,199 Speaker 6: It's hardly ever filled with people because nobody wants to 60 00:02:21,199 --> 00:02:22,719 step on a bunch of legos. But I'm just like 61 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:28,840 trapesing around, you know, horse shoes, very cheap, very portable. Yeah, 62 00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:32,360 and sometimes I have these like horse you know, equestrian 63 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,080 like tendencies, you know, like you know, like you know 64 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,960 what a meal kick is. Yeah, sometimes that just happens, 65 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,159 you know, somebody brushes up against my butt or touches 66 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,240 my tail. I just I just can't control it, just 67 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,800 instinctively just go kick them that. Yeah, actually, hold on, 68 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,199 hold on, let me here. I'm gonna turn around, take 69 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,479 them my tail, take on my tail. I don't want 70 00:02:50,479 --> 00:02:51,599 to No, no, no, no, take on my tail. 71 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: It'll be fine. 72 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:58,199 Speaker 6: I got control over it. Oh yeah, see, sorry for it. 73 00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,560 You're so gullible. 74 00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 1: Look at you up. Oh man, Well, I don't think 75 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:04,520 it was so much. I got fooled so much as No, no, 76 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,560 you your trick. You're fooled, all right? 77 00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:10,159 Speaker 6: All right, next question, Yeah, hooves are great humans. If 78 00:03:10,159 --> 00:03:13,199 you're listening, I highly recommend that you get transplants. Go 79 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:13,960 with hoves. 80 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: Alright. 81 00:03:14,879 --> 00:03:19,199 Speaker 3: This is from at Cole mccurly. What is Hell's hottest 82 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,439 celebrity couple? Oh right now, i'd have to say it's 83 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:23,599 Bunnie and Clyde. 84 00:03:23,759 --> 00:03:25,599 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, very popular. 85 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,719 Speaker 6: No, they're just they're they're on fire. Oh thousands of 86 00:03:28,759 --> 00:03:31,919 degrees fahrenheit. They're there, they're on fire right now? Okay, yeah, 87 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,759 ho at couple. This is from app pe select gaming. 88 00:03:34,759 --> 00:03:38,560 Okay on Twitter, Clayton, do you have a moment to 89 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,560 talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 90 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:41,479 Speaker 1: Nope? 91 00:03:42,719 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 6: All right, well that does it for q' ag great, right, 92 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,800 I was good. That was fast quick. Yeah, alright. 93 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:48,599 Speaker 1: So on to our guest. 94 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,199 Speaker 6: Yeah, all right, So we're gonna have a gentleman on. 95 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,240 I'm gonna we're gonna do something, a little experiment, but 96 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,000 I've brought on a vampire hunter. 97 00:03:59,319 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: Okay. 98 00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:02,319 Speaker 6: It's kind of a controversial job down here in Hell, 99 00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:04,319 so we're gonna talk through that in some of the 100 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,199 complexities of his employments. 101 00:04:06,199 --> 00:04:07,599 Speaker 1: So let's go ahead and bring it in. Loution, come 102 00:04:07,639 --> 00:04:11,560 on it. Oh, Hey, you know, it's good. Hey, how 103 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:11,879 are you doing? 104 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 3: He's going Yeah, but my friends they call me Dada day. 105 00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. We ain't got there yet. So we get there, 106 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,639 we get there, all right. 107 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 3: Uh so you're a vampire hunter. Yeah, I'm in the 108 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:26,759 business of killing those mouse suckers. That's highly offensive, loution. 109 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: So you're visiting Hell, you don't live here, right, You're. 110 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 7: No, No, I'm just checking it out. Some fiery real 111 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,560 estate here. Just went to checked out that that Lego 112 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,040 beach that just kept playing everything was awesome over and 113 00:04:43,079 --> 00:04:43,560 over again. 114 00:04:44,079 --> 00:04:44,319 Speaker 1: Yeah. 115 00:04:44,439 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, that is part of the torture. Was like like 116 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,720 a Pitts Pop version to that. Yeah, we do love 117 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,519 kids pops rough on their ears. Yeah, yeah, just like 118 00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:53,839 the legos are rough on the feet. 119 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 1: Yeah. 120 00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:57,199 Speaker 7: Well you know a lot of you guys. Uh, you 121 00:04:57,199 --> 00:04:59,480 guys got some vampires hiding out down here, So I 122 00:04:59,519 --> 00:05:03,160 thought I stick around and see what's up, maybe kill 123 00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:03,480 a few. 124 00:05:04,759 --> 00:05:08,920 Speaker 3: So so yeah, so does Hell just accept vampires? Well, 125 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,240 we actually do, yes. 126 00:05:11,439 --> 00:05:11,759 Speaker 1: Yeah. 127 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,519 Speaker 4: It's one of those things. 128 00:05:13,199 --> 00:05:17,319 Speaker 6: It's it's a huge point of contention between Heaven and Hell. 129 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,439 Speaker 1: You know, we don't view. 130 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 4: Vampires as bad down here. 131 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,879 Speaker 6: We actually bring them in as refugees to protect them 132 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,279 from the Earth room because of people like. 133 00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 1: Day Day here just serving justice. 134 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 6: So I'm curious, like, what got you into this profession, 135 00:05:36,199 --> 00:05:36,439 if you. 136 00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 1: Want to call it that. 137 00:05:37,199 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 4: This this this job. 138 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 7: I mean, you know, like many people in America, I 139 00:05:43,079 --> 00:05:44,360 grew up in a broken household. 140 00:05:44,879 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: You know. 141 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 7: So my dad married a vampire. She was just a 142 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:57,639 terrible step mom, terrible step kids, step brother's, step sister. 143 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,639 Speaker 1: I didn't like it, so I ran away. I fled. 144 00:06:01,079 --> 00:06:03,759 Speaker 7: Then I joined a group. It was a little boy 145 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,199 scout club called Blades Beauties. 146 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 3: And then from there I trained to be a vampire, 147 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,720 a vampire hunter, to strike justice into the heart of 148 00:06:12,759 --> 00:06:13,959 my step mom. 149 00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:15,480 Speaker 1: Justice. 150 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 4: Well, what ended up happening to your step mom? 151 00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:18,079 Speaker 1: Oh? 152 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,399 Speaker 7: She she's six feet under She probably around here somewhere. 153 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 1: Did you hunt? Did you hunt her down? Did you 154 00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:26,040 did you? 155 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 7: You know, I wouldn't necessarily say hunt. It was more 156 00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:31,160 like I just walked into the house. I had the keys, 157 00:06:31,199 --> 00:06:33,040 you know what I'm saying. It was kind of just 158 00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:33,920 set up, you know. 159 00:06:34,199 --> 00:06:38,600 Speaker 3: And then I just just. 160 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 6: I mean, for audio listeners, what is mean, because they 161 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,920 could they can interpret that several different ways. 162 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah, don't do that, all right, 163 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:48,079 they don't do that. 164 00:06:49,319 --> 00:06:51,199 Speaker 1: Step mom though, you know, not real mom. 165 00:06:52,199 --> 00:06:56,079 Speaker 7: Just just to clarify, but I took I had a 166 00:06:56,079 --> 00:07:00,480 sandwich earlier and I took a couple pieces of meat, 167 00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:06,000 ate it delicious, was fueled for the kill. Then stepped 168 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:11,360 over all right, had a steak, wooden steak. I'm not 169 00:07:11,439 --> 00:07:14,160 that hungry, and I struck her in the heart. 170 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,879 Speaker 1: Wow, that's cold, cold blood right in front of my 171 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:18,800 step siblings. 172 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:21,319 Speaker 4: So then, like, I mean, what walk us through? 173 00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:25,399 Speaker 6: What happens to these these poor vampires whenever they get 174 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,600 stabbed by a steak? 175 00:07:26,839 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 3: Oh man, it's like fireworks, Like they just burst into ashes, 176 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,120 just burst in the ash, just like dark fireworks. 177 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. 178 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 7: There's like a little bit of flare you see of 179 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,639 the chuckle the bone. Yeah, it's magical. 180 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: Don't breathe in though. I had one of those like masks, 181 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,160 you know what I'm saying. 182 00:07:43,279 --> 00:07:46,079 Speaker 3: Okay, so I wasn't gonna inhale because I didn't want 183 00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:49,279 to get the ash and the smoke clogging up my lungs. 184 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, I learned that blades beauty school. Okay, Yeah, what 185 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:58,120 is what's the nastiest vampire encounter You've ever had? The nastiest? Yeah? 186 00:07:58,319 --> 00:07:59,959 Like is it always like violent? 187 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 7: Is it? 188 00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: For me? 189 00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:03,199 Speaker 7: It'd be the most violent thing I've ever come across. 190 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,560 I probably shouldn't be standing here today, But I think 191 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,319 one of the worst parts about being a vampire hunter 192 00:08:10,439 --> 00:08:13,959 is the things you don't expect. I remember one time 193 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,120 I was on hot on the trail this vampire booty 194 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:23,319 and uh uh I walked into accidentally a nest of 195 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,160 turtle vampires turt turtle? 196 00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:28,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, what does that mean? Yeah? Little vampire turtles? What 197 00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:30,600 do you think of me? Oh? I didn't. 198 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 4: Are they like teenage mutant into turtles or. 199 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 1: They're little turtles that got fangs and so. 200 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 6: Do they turn into bats as well? Or do they 201 00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:41,759 have they wings on their turtle backs? 202 00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 3: They're slow, But the problem is with those little vampire turtles, 203 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:49,559 how do you get the hearts? 204 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,639 Speaker 1: They got shells? 205 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, and then you try to get in there 206 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,360 and they just sucked themselves back in. 207 00:08:54,799 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 208 00:08:55,320 --> 00:09:02,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I have to boil those motherfuckers. Oh wow, Yeah, 209 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,799 that's that's that's really sad. 210 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:04,159 Speaker 1: It's hard. 211 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 3: You never see him coming. They're slow too, but they're dangerous. 212 00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:09,960 Have you had any like celebrity run ins? 213 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: Have you have you come across you know, like the 214 00:09:12,159 --> 00:09:15,799 Count or Count Chocula, celebrity vampires. Yeah, No, I. 215 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 7: Mean I wish I was there for the hunt of 216 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,360 Count Chocula. Yeah, I wasn't there for the big game 217 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,360 that was. That was like the Super Bowl vampire hunting. Yeah, 218 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,600 it's really sat Day for some everybody showed up. Yeah, 219 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,639 everyone gired out to the Nines. You had Van Helson 220 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,720 can crunch. You know. 221 00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:35,759 Speaker 1: Everyone was there for a little peace. Yeah. 222 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 6: Yeah, who's who of vampire hunters and cereal mascots. 223 00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:44,679 Speaker 3: Will taste of Count Buffy was there looking like a snack, 224 00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:47,120 you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm not a vampire, 225 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,039 but god damn, I'll take a bite. 226 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: All right. 227 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:59,799 Speaker 3: Well, so so when you're not vampire hunting, what do 228 00:09:59,879 --> 00:10:00,200 you do? 229 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 1: Like, what's your home life like? Uh? 230 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 7: Well, you know, and it seems like glory and justice 231 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:12,440 and everything, but things are home a little serious, you know, divorce. 232 00:10:12,639 --> 00:10:16,879 Recently divorced two kids out of it, beautiful children. 233 00:10:16,919 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 3: Beautiful children. Had to divorce the mom though. Yeah she 234 00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:23,960 was a vampire sympathizer. Oh. I found that out a 235 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:24,720 little too late. 236 00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 7: You know, we talked about wanting kids and then you know, 237 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,720 here right we go on the side she's a nurse. 238 00:10:31,159 --> 00:10:32,679 Speaker 1: Oh but you. 239 00:10:32,639 --> 00:10:34,679 Speaker 7: Know, I found out that she was saving not only 240 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,159 human lives, the vampire lives. 241 00:10:36,159 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 8: And I don't play that, oh hypocritic. Yeah, yeah, she 242 00:10:41,799 --> 00:10:43,919 broke hippa, you know what I mean. So she lost 243 00:10:43,919 --> 00:10:47,840 that job. She lost that job because of patient confidentiality. 244 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,639 Speaker 1: So yeah, you you. 245 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 4: Broke up with her and also made her lose her job. 246 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,559 Speaker 1: Is that is that? What? Is that what you're telling us? 247 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 3: Yes, that's because justice will serve that day. Yeah, so 248 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,440 you know, I mean it was a cold plate. You 249 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,519 have no respec for vampire. You're just against them, right, 250 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,519 I mean, like what's. 251 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,639 Speaker 1: Good about them? You know? 252 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 3: Well what because you say, Clayton that they're not all 253 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:11,360 bad with it? 254 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:11,799 Speaker 1: Right? 255 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,879 Speaker 3: So yeah, but then I mean obviously not because you 256 00:11:14,879 --> 00:11:18,360 know Heaven, if Heaven sent him to kill vampires, then 257 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,159 they got to be bad. 258 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:19,399 Speaker 1: Right. 259 00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:23,759 Speaker 6: Well again, I mean no, you know, this is a 260 00:11:23,879 --> 00:11:27,120 huge point of contention between Heaven and Hell. We have 261 00:11:27,919 --> 00:11:31,360 Satan's legal team working on this, the Devil's advocates, and 262 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,559 they they beg to differ. 263 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,159 Speaker 4: Yeah, vampires are just creatures. 264 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 6: You know, sometimes they're not as all as bad as 265 00:11:39,639 --> 00:11:41,480 people make them out to be. You know, pop culture 266 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,399 really drags their name through the mud, you know, because 267 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:46,919 of people like like Dracula. But for every Dracula, there's 268 00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:53,480 a couple of Edward Colin's, you know, shiny skin, pale, soft, 269 00:11:54,039 --> 00:11:58,399 nice on the eyes, kind love sweet boy. 270 00:11:59,000 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 1: You know. 271 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 7: Well, I mean, yeah, what do you I don't know, man, 272 00:12:01,399 --> 00:12:03,759 I got a lot of issues with them. Uh you know, 273 00:12:03,799 --> 00:12:05,600 I don't mean to try to, you know, take a 274 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,799 little jabs at them and shit, but like, you know, 275 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:08,919 what's up with all the leather? 276 00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:11,320 Speaker 1: What's up with like the callers being up and giving 277 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:11,519 me no. 278 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,159 Speaker 3: Snarkling little looks off on the side, like why you 279 00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:16,440 you know what I mean, Like why why are you 280 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,039 looking at me? 281 00:12:17,759 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: And you you sizing me up? Yeah, you know. 282 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 3: And then on top of that, I'm a big fan 283 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:26,559 of Amazon Prime, right like yeah, all my stuff delivered, 284 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,879 and and like I'm all about the big like, hey, 285 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,720 get that contract signed, get these drones out there. But 286 00:12:33,799 --> 00:12:35,960 we can't get drones out there right now because there's 287 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,159 bats flying everywhere. 288 00:12:38,039 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: Okay, good point. 289 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 4: Yeah, but I mean they were there first. The sky 290 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:42,320 was theirs. 291 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: You know. Also good point. 292 00:12:44,279 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 6: They're they're just out there minding their own business, flying 293 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,840 around their little bat wings and then a fucking drone 294 00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:50,200 takes out. 295 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 7: All I'm saying that we got we got planes with 296 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:57,279 airspace regulations. Why don't we crack down on the mouffucking bats, 297 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,240 That's all I'm saying. 298 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 6: Well, you know you, you've raised a lot of questions 299 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,840 and you seem to be no friend towards vampires. So no, no, no, no, 300 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,480 we got it. We got a lot of things to 301 00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:09,879 come through. So I we're actually gonna do something new. 302 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,919 We have a surprise guest. But before this person comes in, 303 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,480 I need you to give. 304 00:13:14,279 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: Me all your weapons. 305 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 3: Okay, I gave you all my weapons. Okay, why are 306 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,360 you sitting so uncomfortably? 307 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:19,519 Speaker 1: Then? 308 00:13:19,919 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 7: Well, I mean, what's considered a weapon? You know something 309 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,519 that you considered weapons? You go take these hands? 310 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 4: Yeah you might could. I've taken Chris's several times. 311 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,879 Speaker 1: Not on this work visa. You know what I'm saying. 312 00:13:29,879 --> 00:13:32,039 There's rules and regulations. You must abide by it. 313 00:13:32,039 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 6: All right, Well, you know a rule and regulation be 314 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,200 on this on this podcast is you can't attack whoever 315 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,000 I'm about to have on. 316 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 3: Okay, you need to need to have your word. Attack 317 00:13:40,399 --> 00:13:42,360 is such a strong word though, you know what I mean? 318 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,759 What about a love tap. No, none of that, all right, 319 00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:50,759 bamboozle no, no bamboozok no handmakers, none of it. 320 00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 1: No physical contact. Okay, kind of hit him with the No, 321 00:13:54,159 --> 00:13:56,879 you cannot hit him with the I don't even know 322 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,960 what that is. Your word. I'll give you a word, 323 00:14:01,759 --> 00:14:02,720 all right. That's getting up for me. 324 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,159 Speaker 4: Okay, all right, Mitchell, come on in here. 325 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 2: Hold on, shares are so huge? 326 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:11,519 Speaker 1: The hell is this? 327 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 5: Hey? Hey, what's up? Guys? Hey? 328 00:14:14,279 --> 00:14:14,799 Speaker 1: The hell is this? 329 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,919 Speaker 5: I'm Mitchell. I'm a vampire. 330 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, ship, I know you're a vampire. Space 331 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,240 s space Mitchell. Okay, good Hi Mitchell. It don't se 332 00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:26,080 so close to me, bro hold on, I. 333 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,759 Speaker 5: Just took that shair they gave me. Man, I'm just hey, 334 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,039 just sculf down, Okay, I'm just here to talk about. 335 00:14:31,399 --> 00:14:33,399 You know, the life of a vampire is not all 336 00:14:33,679 --> 00:14:35,200 you blood and guts and violence. 337 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: Okay, you change my mind? 338 00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, we're just people. You know, we're not 339 00:14:40,039 --> 00:14:41,600 all the count from Sesame Street. 340 00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:43,279 Speaker 1: All right, was the last time you sucked on blood? 341 00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 5: Okay, I'll be honest, it was pretty recently. That's actually 342 00:14:47,039 --> 00:14:48,000 right before I came in. 343 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,679 Speaker 1: But what kind of blood was it? Though, Mitchell. 344 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,279 Speaker 5: Oh, oh, that's a good question. I've got a whole 345 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,679 patch of turtle blood in the back. I capsule them up, 346 00:14:55,759 --> 00:14:58,000 yeah yeah, and I put them in a prescription bottle, 347 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,919 so no one, no one judges me. 348 00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: You see. Yeah, he's not all that bad a right, 349 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,120 he didn't attack any humans today. Okay, yeah, but have 350 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,399 you ever attacked any human before? 351 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:08,559 Speaker 2: Uh? 352 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,559 Speaker 5: Listen once again, I gotta be honest. When push comes 353 00:15:12,559 --> 00:15:15,120 to shove, it just happens. Sometimes, you know, when everyone 354 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,879 looks like a snack. I can't help it. I've got 355 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,200 been cursed with this, this permanent hunger. Okay, it's like 356 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,360 when you look around and everyone's just this flappy meat 357 00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:26,480 sandwich you want to dive in. Yeah, I'm sure you understand. 358 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,879 You've seen Buffy. Yeah, I mean you see this guy, 359 00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,840 this Chris guy. Man, he looks juicy. 360 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 3: He's defenseless, and we get we believe to let him 361 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,039 out on the streets around our kids, our families, our dogs, 362 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:37,759 our pigeons. 363 00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: Listen. 364 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 6: All I'm here to say is you just just hear out, Mitchell, 365 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,000 because you know vampires are people too, and you know 366 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,279 you've been hunting them their whole lives. It's just been 367 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,200 killing vampires, killing vampires. Have you ever thought about hearing vampires? 368 00:15:51,279 --> 00:15:54,279 Speaker 3: But listening, listening, I got a tingle in my fingers 369 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,279 that senses justice about to come. 370 00:15:56,399 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: No, just remember we said no bop bops. 371 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, right, just one little poo No, no, no. 372 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 1: Look at poor defenseless Mitchell. He's nothing. 373 00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 4: He's like he's seventy pounds soaking wet. 374 00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 5: All right, I may look small. I was cursed. I 375 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,879 was a bit at a young age. But I'm very old. 376 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,120 Oh no, a lot. I'm thirteen hundred years old. Give 377 00:16:17,159 --> 00:16:18,559 her take. I've lived a lot of lives. 378 00:16:18,799 --> 00:16:20,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, how old were you when you were a bit? 379 00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:25,080 Speaker 5: Well, I'm trapped in the body of a five year old. 380 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,679 Up one morning and there was blood everywhere. My parents 381 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,360 had been emptied. They were scrawny like a mummy. 382 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,559 Speaker 6: Well, we don't even want to get into mummies yet. 383 00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:37,279 All right, that's a whole different civil rights thing altogether. 384 00:16:37,559 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: I don't not even I touch mummies. 385 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:39,519 Speaker 3: Huh. 386 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,879 Speaker 4: But you know I don't go there. I think you 387 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,559 think about por Mitchell here. 388 00:16:44,639 --> 00:16:47,559 Speaker 6: Yeah, like he woke up one day, you know, this 389 00:16:47,679 --> 00:16:50,480 sweet five year old boy and someone it just sucked 390 00:16:50,559 --> 00:16:54,720 him dry, you know, I mean, let alone the fact 391 00:16:54,759 --> 00:16:57,200 that he's gradually why we got to get these vampires 392 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,000 off the streets, sucking dry these young little boys. Yeah, 393 00:17:00,159 --> 00:17:02,480 I mean sometimes he doesn't. 394 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: It's a vicious circle, all right. He didn't. He didn't 395 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,960 get a choice about being a vampires a vampire. No 396 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,519 one gets a choice sometimes being sucked off. But at 397 00:17:10,519 --> 00:17:12,000 the end of the day, it happened. 398 00:17:12,039 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 5: Hey listen here, d D double D. Can I call 399 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:18,160 you that? Whoo by Lucius? I apologize that was very 400 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,119 undoctorly of me. That's that's right. I'm a doctor. I 401 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,039 went to school. I got a zoology degree. 402 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:28,559 Speaker 1: So baby here, Yeah, you know, he's a complex being, 403 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,319 all right, Yeah, you know. 404 00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:34,039 Speaker 4: And you wouldn't have even known that he was a. 405 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:36,839 Speaker 6: Five year old vampire doctor thirteen hundred year old man 406 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,279 boy if you hadn't sat down to listen to him 407 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,160 for ten seconds, you know, because if you saw him 408 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,240 in the street, you would just stabbed him. 409 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 5: You would have hit me with the boom bop, I know, 410 00:17:43,759 --> 00:17:44,160 and I can. 411 00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:47,839 Speaker 1: See it would hit you. He's shaking. 412 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 7: I would have hit you with a little magic trick, 413 00:17:49,759 --> 00:17:51,279 you know what I mean. We'll send my right hand 414 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:52,799 psyched stick in the left hand. 415 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 5: Listen, what even qualifies you to kill us? Huh, we're 416 00:17:55,519 --> 00:17:56,359 just normal people. 417 00:17:56,799 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 1: When'd you go to school for this? 418 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 5: You know how painful it was to die? Why do 419 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,880 you even feel like you need to steak us in 420 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,319 the heart? Huh, it's so arbitrary. We're undead. It doesn't 421 00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:07,000 even beat, it's so small. 422 00:18:07,759 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie. 423 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 3: It's really hard to get rid of the little ones 424 00:18:11,519 --> 00:18:14,079 because my heart is so tiny. 425 00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:17,559 Speaker 7: Yeah, I will admit, and I'm made. Uh, you know 426 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:22,359 what I call it? Day Day's baby steaks. Oh, that 427 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,759 idea of the toll, the physical toll it takes. 428 00:18:25,799 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 5: We trapped in a five year old body, not be 429 00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:31,200 able to drink my milk? You think about that bone? Yeah, 430 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:36,279 my bones. Man, I couldn't go in the sun right die. 431 00:18:36,559 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't have you operating day and night on people. 432 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:40,960 And there's blood everywhere. 433 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,160 Speaker 7: I see your eyes getting all bloodshot, you're getting thirsty, dripping, 434 00:18:44,279 --> 00:18:45,279 foaming at the mouth. 435 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,519 Speaker 1: Well, but but not all vampires drink blood, right. 436 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,599 Speaker 5: Well, I mean, technically we hate it to say so 437 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,680 stain our elves, but but there's a reason why. Yeah, 438 00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:58,160 it's it's much more civilized than you believe. You know, 439 00:18:58,599 --> 00:19:00,000 you know, most of us. We just go to the block. 440 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,279 There's a guy, guy named Harold. We just text him 441 00:19:03,279 --> 00:19:05,839 ahead of time. He slips us a couple of bags. Yeah, 442 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,039 you know that'll last us for most of you know, 443 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,119 most of our week. 444 00:19:09,319 --> 00:19:09,559 Speaker 1: Yeah. 445 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, it didn't have to be criminalized. What's the address 446 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,119 of this Harold vampire? 447 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 1: No? No, put you. 448 00:19:16,519 --> 00:19:18,319 Speaker 4: Gotta put away word for just one second? 449 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: All right? 450 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,839 Speaker 5: Hey, whoa Well, where'd that pencil come from? Stop taking notes? 451 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 3: Pal, That could that could kill a kid? Okay, all right, 452 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,519 it's got let at the tip. I mean I could 453 00:19:29,519 --> 00:19:30,519 still shove it into. 454 00:19:30,519 --> 00:19:33,880 Speaker 1: No, no away from you come here, all right, No, listen, 455 00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:36,480 all right, listen. We're sitting you down because we care 456 00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:39,599 about you and we want you to be happy, but 457 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,599 we also want other people to be happy. All right. 458 00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:43,880 Speaker 3: We're sitting down here with you because it sounds like 459 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,319 some of your actions have been hurting other other people. 460 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:50,799 Speaker 1: Rifle is so justice. It's not justice, no bad bad justice. 461 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,240 Serve it breakfast, lunch and dinner. 462 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:58,079 Speaker 6: Well, you know, speaking of something, Mitchell, didn't you bring 463 00:19:58,079 --> 00:20:00,240 a gift for Yeah? 464 00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:03,079 Speaker 5: Here, can somebody help me. My hands are all bandaged. 465 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there you go. 466 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:09,519 Speaker 5: Check it out. Look it's it's it's bread, garlic bread. 467 00:20:09,559 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, why you make garlic? 468 00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:14,119 Speaker 5: I made my highes bleed. My hands are burnt. But 469 00:20:14,319 --> 00:20:15,839 I just wanted to show you a sign, you know, 470 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,400 just like a raise a flag friendship. You man, we 471 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,759 could we could all live together. 472 00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,279 Speaker 1: And look at your little baby hands are all burnt. 473 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,599 Speaker 5: Listen. The condition with which I was frozen in time 474 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,119 is not any of our can concern. Okay, we bring 475 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,440 a lot to this world. There's so much we could offer, 476 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,559 you know, immortal life. 477 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,759 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, he's a doctor. I mean he's. 478 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:41,119 Speaker 6: Zoology, you know, like tell us how you bring your 479 00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:43,839 vampirism into your in your trade. 480 00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,839 Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, you know. I like to think of it 481 00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:49,680 as the gift that keeps on giving of immortality. Turtles 482 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,559 are perfect creatures, and they're going extinct. I had to 483 00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:55,119 bite a couple. I keep them around. 484 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,079 Speaker 7: Yeah, but what you don't know is that when they 485 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,240 bite in the ocean and make another, do you making 486 00:21:00,279 --> 00:21:02,359 him shock vampires? And then all of a sudden, we 487 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,720 can't eat half of the goddamn fish in the ocean. 488 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:09,519 You're messing with the whole ecological nature system we got 489 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:10,200 going on here. 490 00:21:10,279 --> 00:21:10,759 Speaker 5: That's true. 491 00:21:10,759 --> 00:21:11,559 Speaker 1: That's seeing that. 492 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,839 Speaker 5: I see how that would be a concern. It's kind 493 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,599 of why I got in the field so I could 494 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,720 make sure I feather the throttle a little bit, you know, 495 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,480 keep the population of the vampirism in control. 496 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,079 Speaker 7: I'm sorry, it's hard to look at you with his 497 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,079 little burnt baby hands. Right now, stop focusing looking at 498 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,799 my nubs. Okay, just take your eyes off the nubs. 499 00:21:31,759 --> 00:21:34,240 You don't have glove nubs. 500 00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 5: Gloves. 501 00:21:35,079 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 1: I have some actually threddit salami. 502 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,319 Speaker 5: Hey, Chris, do you have any extra nubluffs? 503 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:39,640 Speaker 1: Yeah? 504 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,559 Speaker 3: Here, let me give you something, thanks, Chris Mitchell. What 505 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,640 is it actually like being a vampire? You know, because 506 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:52,720 he you know dat eight Lucian here thinks. Lucian here 507 00:21:52,799 --> 00:21:56,000 thinks it's all just you know, eating and sucking and 508 00:21:56,079 --> 00:21:56,359 you know. 509 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 1: Killing and killing. But like, tell us what it's really 510 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:00,759 like as a vampire. 511 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,640 Speaker 5: Well, I mean, most of us don't eat any more 512 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,119 than a normal human. Wood. We can get by on 513 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,920 just you know, a little bit of blood whenever we 514 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,160 need it, just to just to subsist. But really it's 515 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,359 just that nocturnal life. I feel like, you know, honestly, 516 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,079 humans kind of want to live that life anyway. I 517 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,720 see you staying up all hours of the night playing 518 00:22:19,799 --> 00:22:20,400 video games. 519 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 1: Are you watching me sometimes? 520 00:22:23,839 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 5: Perks of the job. You know you're up at night 521 00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:26,839 batting around. 522 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:28,759 Speaker 1: You're a fan of my streams? 523 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:33,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, come around the corner, crouched ads running around Rainbow six, 524 00:22:33,279 --> 00:22:33,759 I see you. 525 00:22:34,599 --> 00:22:36,519 Speaker 7: Oh yeah, that's a good trainer right there, You know 526 00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:38,440 what I mean? I get my lean on. Yeah, and 527 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,920 then in real life I give a hit, give them 528 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,960 with a little quick lean. They get really confused. 529 00:22:42,039 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 6: What if I were to tell you that you and 530 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:45,480 Mitchell played a couple of games together. You know what 531 00:22:45,599 --> 00:22:49,480 if Mitchell was in your party at some point. You know, 532 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,480 he's just another guy on the other side of the microphone, 533 00:22:51,519 --> 00:22:52,960 but you know you mean to see him here in person. 534 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,599 You're all combative. Oh, vampire, vampire, you could be your buddy. 535 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 1: You don't even know. 536 00:22:57,519 --> 00:22:59,880 Speaker 5: You recognize the name Thunderblood fifteen. 537 00:23:00,079 --> 00:23:01,920 Speaker 1: Mmmmmmm that's you. 538 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,799 Speaker 5: That's right. Are you just a voice modulator? So don't 539 00:23:05,799 --> 00:23:08,599 get judged online? That's you and my chat day and night, 540 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,640 every night, tossing bits. I played with this kid before 541 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,480 he played with him, he's donated me. No on your 542 00:23:15,799 --> 00:23:18,039 on your twitch, and you are a vampire this whole time. 543 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,480 It was me all along, just just in case, you know, 544 00:23:20,519 --> 00:23:22,160 this moment were to come, and I would meet you 545 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,799 face to face before you struck the death blow, I 546 00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:27,920 would tell you I was your friend this whole time. 547 00:23:28,599 --> 00:23:29,599 Speaker 1: I'm so confused. 548 00:23:29,599 --> 00:23:31,640 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie like this boy lay in his 549 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,720 life out on the line while I'm out here trying 550 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,480 to get this elo. 551 00:23:35,559 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. 552 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 7: I'm trying to get these winds out here, and he's 553 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:39,880 been backing me up. 554 00:23:40,079 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you're you're hunting his family and his people. 555 00:23:43,559 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 6: You know, that's that's just so sad, Like, how tell 556 00:23:46,039 --> 00:23:49,480 us how how tender the life of a vampire is? 557 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:54,160 Speaker 5: You know, Oh, it's very sweet. It's it's very tender bowet, No, No, 558 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,839 that's not actually very sweet. It's high and iron. It's 559 00:23:56,839 --> 00:23:58,640 a little bit like licking a hammer. 560 00:23:59,079 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: Oh uh. 561 00:24:00,079 --> 00:24:04,240 Speaker 5: But anyway, you know, there's a lot of group group things, 562 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:12,319 group activities, dating, fornicating. It's very tender. Us vampires very social, 563 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:12,960 very friendly. 564 00:24:13,079 --> 00:24:15,200 Speaker 7: Yeah, but then you bring in non vampires into the 565 00:24:15,279 --> 00:24:18,759 fold and y'all be having your feet sessions. I know sexual, 566 00:24:18,839 --> 00:24:19,519 y'all motherfuckers. 567 00:24:19,599 --> 00:24:23,279 Speaker 5: Get that's true, very sexual. But we're you know, I 568 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,839 gotta be honest. It's it's more of a volunteer system 569 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,359 at this point. You know, we just we loiter around 570 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:30,240 hot topic a lot. 571 00:24:30,799 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: Uh, that's a breeding ground for vampires. Hot top. 572 00:24:35,319 --> 00:24:37,599 Speaker 3: Well, but if they want to be a vampire, you know, 573 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,200 there's not really they're not killing people. Yeah, yeah, but 574 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,640 once you cross that line, I gotta hit them with it. 575 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,680 Speaker 1: No, it's their choice to listen. 576 00:24:47,799 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 5: Why do you gotta do that? Huh? What's your driving force? 577 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? Why why do you want? Why are you so 578 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,200 angry at vampire? Yeah, let's get you the core of it. 579 00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:00,319 It's it's about your mom. Yeah, she was just the worst. 580 00:25:00,519 --> 00:25:03,799 Well but but Mitchell's not your mom. 581 00:25:03,839 --> 00:25:06,200 Speaker 4: Look, he's just a little thirteen year one hundred year 582 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:06,680 old doctor. 583 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just me, little doctor, five year old, thirteen 584 00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:10,759 hundred year old kid. 585 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 3: This little man baby's confusing the hell out of me 586 00:25:13,279 --> 00:25:14,440 right now. I'm not gonna lie with his. 587 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: Little meat sausage fingers. 588 00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:19,640 Speaker 5: I knew your mom. I knew your step mom. She 589 00:25:19,799 --> 00:25:22,279 was a terrible woman. We never should have let her 590 00:25:22,319 --> 00:25:24,200 in the fold. When we picked her up at ye 591 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,799 old Hot Topic back in eighteen twenty two. 592 00:25:27,799 --> 00:25:29,519 Speaker 1: She was a part of the Hot Topic game. 593 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 5: Shouldn't have been She kind of slipped, she slipped in there. 594 00:25:33,599 --> 00:25:38,079 Speaker 1: See that there might be a bad vampire doesn't mean 595 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,720 all vampires are bad. Yeah, how am I supposed to 596 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,319 know who to kill her, who not to kill? What 597 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,160 am I say? Is what I'm good at? Yeah? 598 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:49,400 Speaker 6: Well, maybe something that you're good at is bad. You know, 599 00:25:49,599 --> 00:25:52,000 maybe something that you're good at isn't good. 600 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: Thought about that, But. 601 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 7: I feel like I say, somebody lives puting people, so thankful. 602 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,200 You know, these vampires out here trying to get all 603 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,079 sexual people, trying to figure pop humans assholes and shit. 604 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,839 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, well but see the vampires are running down 605 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,720 to Hell to get away from you. 606 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 3: If they're that bad, then why are they Why are 607 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,920 they having to hide in Hell because they're that bad? 608 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,759 Speaker 6: Well, okay, Mitchell, tell us how bad vampires are? You know, 609 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,759 because you've lost a few friends along the way and 610 00:26:21,759 --> 00:26:22,839 it sounds very tragic. 611 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 5: So yeah, well, you know, when I first got this, 612 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,519 I was kind of upset. I lost my parents at all, 613 00:26:29,559 --> 00:26:32,039 and I thought, you know, i'd hang out with my friend, 614 00:26:32,039 --> 00:26:33,680 and you know, I traded the gift to him, and 615 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,640 when we were playing hoop and stick, he felt a 616 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,480 little wrong, just right on that stick and a boom, 617 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,640 off he went. Man, I got to live with that 618 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,359 for the rest of my eternal life. 619 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:43,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a classic move right there. 620 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:44,559 Speaker 4: Hoop and stick. 621 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:45,200 Speaker 1: That's sad. 622 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,799 Speaker 5: Wow, it took me a couple hundred years to get 623 00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:49,160 up the courage to get a new friend. 624 00:26:49,559 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 1: Uh huh what was his name? 625 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:55,400 Speaker 5: His name was Skeeter Toasin. Yeah, it's family name. It's 626 00:26:55,519 --> 00:26:56,200 very common. 627 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, what happened to Skeeter TOAs well? 628 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,519 Speaker 5: We went out for say, which is, yeah, you know, 629 00:27:01,559 --> 00:27:05,960 the classic meal. I was kind of I was swooning him, 630 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,200 trying to get him into the fold. Took him out 631 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:12,680 to a restaurant bottom his last human meal, converted him 632 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,279 and on the way out, he tripped and fell on 633 00:27:14,279 --> 00:27:18,319 one of those toothpicks with olive on it. Oh yeah, boom, 634 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:22,680 instantly gone cloud of black dust everywhere. The man was 635 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,160 barely a vampire, but for a blink of an eye. 636 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 1: Goddamn Friday night to me. 637 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 6: No, you know, I have to say, Mitchell, you look 638 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,240 very nice today and I bet that that's hard to 639 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:37,880 do because they can't even see themselves in mirrors. Man, 640 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,440 think about how hard that is. 641 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 1: I mean, it is pretty hard to wake up looking 642 00:27:42,559 --> 00:27:46,039 fresh to death. I do believe that. Yeah, so you 643 00:27:46,079 --> 00:27:49,240 have essentially a skin disorder. You can't go in the sun. 644 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,119 That's true, It's very true. 645 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,799 Speaker 4: That's sad all the things that happen in the sun. 646 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,799 Speaker 5: I can't go to a beach unless I want to 647 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:58,279 wear my cloak, and I just looked like a freak. 648 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,359 Can you imagine make cloaks for five year olds? 649 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, they look like a little hobbit out on the beach. 650 00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:04,680 Sunburn is a bitch. 651 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 4: You would need like SBF one million. 652 00:28:07,279 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, some of that. I just lather on cocoa butter, 653 00:28:09,759 --> 00:28:13,640 that's all. Yeah. Well, you know he can't the option. 654 00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:17,039 Speaker 5: That's why we wear leather. It's the best protection from 655 00:28:17,039 --> 00:28:17,440 the sun. 656 00:28:18,839 --> 00:28:22,279 Speaker 7: Do you feel like you could really reroll back and 657 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:23,839 find a new way of living. 658 00:28:24,759 --> 00:28:27,319 Speaker 5: I think it's possible, And I think it's possible to 659 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:31,000 spread this word to the other vampires, pull them back 660 00:28:31,039 --> 00:28:34,559 from some of their heinous ways. Yeap, a couple of 661 00:28:34,599 --> 00:28:36,000 bad eggs, man, that's it. 662 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,359 Speaker 7: But what do we we need to. I mean, what 663 00:28:39,359 --> 00:28:42,519 do we do with the bad eggs? Though we can't 664 00:28:42,559 --> 00:28:43,319 just let that fly? 665 00:28:44,119 --> 00:28:47,319 Speaker 5: I say we enlist them, replace drones, give them a 666 00:28:47,359 --> 00:28:49,559 purpose bat delivery system. 667 00:28:49,799 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 1: That's that could work? That's great. Yeah, yeah, it's like 668 00:28:53,039 --> 00:28:56,839 rehabilitation for these bad bats. Maybe Mitchell here, could you 669 00:28:56,839 --> 00:28:59,559 know help? He could be a messenger, you know, and 670 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,640 reach out to the other vampires. And you know what, 671 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,839 you as a vampire hunter, if you were a former 672 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,759 vampire hunter, do you know how how strong of a 673 00:29:08,759 --> 00:29:12,000 message that would be to the actual vampires? And then 674 00:29:12,039 --> 00:29:13,720 speak of what you could do? You think of the 675 00:29:13,799 --> 00:29:15,519 night deliveries. You don't get those now? 676 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, empires, I mean I would like to get packages 677 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:19,920 beyond nine pm. 678 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: That would be nice vampires, and it would mean a 679 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,200 lot coming from you. 680 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 7: Look, maybe there's a world in which we take the 681 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:34,839 pros of a vampire and make them work for humans. 682 00:29:35,079 --> 00:29:37,440 But we're really far off from that. We've got to 683 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,880 build a plan, a strategy to get there. 684 00:29:40,119 --> 00:29:42,759 Speaker 1: Where would we start? You know, what do we start with? 685 00:29:42,799 --> 00:29:45,039 How about how about this? What if we just start 686 00:29:46,119 --> 00:29:48,960 with a hug? Can we do that? Yeah? 687 00:29:49,119 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 5: I think that's I think that's pretty reasonable. 688 00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:54,759 Speaker 1: You can do it. You can do it. 689 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 5: Come on, I'll just bend down here. We got this. 690 00:30:00,079 --> 00:30:02,559 My little arms are out, I got my numbs here. 691 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,799 Speaker 1: Come all right, come on, there we go. 692 00:30:06,079 --> 00:30:06,559 Speaker 5: There we. 693 00:30:12,799 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 1: Mitchell? 694 00:30:13,279 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 5: No, did it? 695 00:30:18,359 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: Pierce? Oh yeah, it's bleeding like Michel? What are you doing? Conversation? 696 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:27,799 Speaker 2: Bro? 697 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:35,279 Speaker 5: You say I'm clumsy? These five year old muscles coordinated? 698 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,319 Speaker 1: I got a baby man. 699 00:30:38,359 --> 00:30:38,799 Speaker 5: Yeah? 700 00:30:39,359 --> 00:30:45,240 Speaker 6: God, alright, demons in here? 701 00:30:46,079 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 5: Can I call you day that yet? 702 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 2: No? 703 00:30:49,319 --> 00:30:51,359 Speaker 1: It's gonna be night night here soon. 704 00:30:51,839 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 5: God, Mitchell, how do I even do? 705 00:30:55,279 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 1: How does oh? 706 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 6: Oh? 707 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 5: I messed that up? 708 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,839 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, really did, Mitchell? 709 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,799 Speaker 5: I feel like I've done done the whole centuries worth 710 00:31:03,839 --> 00:31:04,680 of progress here. 711 00:31:05,279 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 6: Great, Well he's gonna be waking up a vampire. Way 712 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,240 to go, Mitchell to co shit. 713 00:31:10,599 --> 00:31:13,039 Speaker 5: Yeah, man, I really feel like I messed that up. 714 00:31:13,119 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 715 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,599 Speaker 4: I feel like you did too. You might get out 716 00:31:15,599 --> 00:31:15,759 of here. 717 00:31:15,799 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 1: He's gonna get he's gonna be. 718 00:31:17,559 --> 00:31:19,839 Speaker 5: You guys might want to scatter. He's gonna be thirsty. 719 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:26,039 Speaker 1: Yeah all right, all right, Well that didn't go as planned. No, 720 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,640 well he won't be hunting vampires anymore. That all right? 721 00:31:32,039 --> 00:31:33,119 So cool? 722 00:31:33,799 --> 00:31:43,759 Speaker 3: Hell Clayton, thank you to Alfredo and Trevor from Achievement 723 00:31:43,839 --> 00:31:45,480 Hunter for being on a show. 724 00:31:45,559 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: Yeah thanks guys. Uh where can the audience find more 725 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,880 of you? I am at Alfredo Place. 726 00:31:51,759 --> 00:31:55,599 Speaker 5: I am at Underscore, Trevor see the Letter C sweets, 727 00:31:55,839 --> 00:32:00,000 and I am at done with this episode. 728 00:32:00,079 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 2: Huge thanks to Trevor Collins and Alfredo Diaz. If you 729 00:32:03,759 --> 00:32:05,839 want to listen to more of them, you should check 730 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:10,039 out their podcast, Red Web. It's a true crime mystery podcast. 731 00:32:10,119 --> 00:32:12,559 It's amazing. Go look for it wherever you listen to 732 00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:14,200 podcasts and check them out.