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<v Speaker 1>This is section twenty four of The Gilded Age. This

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<v Speaker 1>LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,

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<v Speaker 1>A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,

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<v Speaker 1>Chapter twenty four. The capital of the Great Republic was

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<v Speaker 1>a new world to country bred Washington Hawkins. Saint Louis

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<v Speaker 1>was a greater city, but its floating population did not

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<v Speaker 1>hail from great distances, and so it had the general

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<v Speaker 1>family aspect of the permanent population. But Washington gathered its

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<v Speaker 1>people from the four winds of heaven, and so the manners,

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<v Speaker 1>the faces, and the fashions there presented a variety that

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<v Speaker 1>was infinite. Washington had never been in society in Saint Louis,

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<v Speaker 1>and he knew nothing of the ways of its wealthier citizens,

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<v Speaker 1>and had never inspected one of their dwellings. Consequently, everything

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<v Speaker 1>in the nature of modern fashion and grandeur was a

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<v Speaker 1>new and wonderful revelation to him. Washington is an interesting

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<v Speaker 1>city to any of us. It seems to become more

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<v Speaker 1>and more interesting the oftener we visit it. Perhaps the

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<v Speaker 1>reader has never been there very well. You arrive either

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<v Speaker 1>at night rather too late to do anything or see

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<v Speaker 1>anything until morning, or you arrive so early in the

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<v Speaker 1>morning that you consider it best to go to your

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<v Speaker 1>hotel and sleep an hour or two while the sun

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<v Speaker 1>bothers along over the Atlantic. You cannot well arrive at

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<v Speaker 1>a pleasant intermediate hour, because the railway corporation that keeps

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<v Speaker 1>the keys of the only door that leads into the

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<v Speaker 1>town or out of it take care of that. You

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<v Speaker 1>arrive in tolerably good spirits because it is only thirty

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<v Speaker 1>eight miles from Baltimore to the capital, and so you

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<v Speaker 1>have only been insulted three times, provided you are not

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<v Speaker 1>in a sleeping car. The average is higher there once

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<v Speaker 1>when you renewed your ticket after stopping over in Baltimore,

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<v Speaker 1>once when you were about to enter the ladies car

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<v Speaker 1>without knowing it was a lady's car. And once when

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<v Speaker 1>you ask the conductor at what hour you would reach Washington,

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<v Speaker 1>you are assailed by a long rank of hack men

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<v Speaker 1>who shake their whips in your face. As you step

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<v Speaker 1>out upon the sidewalk. You enter what they regard as

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<v Speaker 1>a carriage in the capital, and you wonder why they

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<v Speaker 1>do not take it out of service and put it

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<v Speaker 1>in the museum. We have few enough antiquities, and it

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<v Speaker 1>is little to our credit that we make scarcely any

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<v Speaker 1>effort to preserve the few we have. You reach your

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<v Speaker 1>hotel presently, and here let us draw the curtain of charity,

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<v Speaker 1>because of course you have gone to the wrong one.

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<v Speaker 1>You being a stranger, how could you do otherwise? There

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<v Speaker 1>are a hundred and eighteen bad hotels and only one

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<v Speaker 1>good one. The most renowned and popular hotel of them

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<v Speaker 1>all is perhaps the worst one known to history. It

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<v Speaker 1>is winter and night. When you arrived, it was snowing.

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<v Speaker 1>When you reached the hotel, it was sleeting. When you

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<v Speaker 1>went to bed, it was raining. During the night. It

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<v Speaker 1>froze hard, and the wind blew some chimneys down. When

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<v Speaker 1>you got up in the morning, it was foggy. When

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<v Speaker 1>you finished your breakfast at ten o'clock and went out,

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<v Speaker 1>the sunshine was brilliant, the weather balmy and delicious, and

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<v Speaker 1>the mud and slush deep and all pervading. You will

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<v Speaker 1>like the climate when you get used to it. You

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<v Speaker 1>naturally wish to view the city. So you take an umbrella,

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<v Speaker 1>an overcoat, and a fan, and go forth. The prominent

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<v Speaker 1>features you soon locate and get familiar with. First you

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<v Speaker 1>glimpse the ornamental upperworks of a long, snowy palace, projecting

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<v Speaker 1>above a grove of trees, and a tall, graceful white

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<v Speaker 1>dome with a statue on it, surmounting the palace and

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<v Speaker 1>pleasantly contrasting with the background of blue sky. That building

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<v Speaker 1>is the Capital. Gossips will tell you that by the

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<v Speaker 1>original estimates it was to cost twelve million dollars, and

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<v Speaker 1>that the government did come within twenty one million, two

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<v Speaker 1>hundred thousand dollars of building it for that sum. You

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<v Speaker 1>stand at the back of the Capital to treat yourself

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<v Speaker 1>to a view, and it is a very noble one,

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<v Speaker 1>you understand. The Capital stands upon the verge of a

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<v Speaker 1>high piece of table land, a fine commanding position, and

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<v Speaker 1>its front looks out over this noble situation for a city.

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<v Speaker 1>But it don't see it for the reason that when

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<v Speaker 1>the capital extension was decided upon, the property owners at

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<v Speaker 1>once advanced their prices to such inhuman figures that the

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<v Speaker 1>people went down and built the city in the muddy

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<v Speaker 1>low marsh behind the Temple of Liberty. So now the

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<v Speaker 1>lordly front of the building, with its imposing colonnades, its

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<v Speaker 1>projecting graceful wings, its picturesque groups of statuary, and its long,

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<v Speaker 1>terraced ranges of steps, flowing down in white marble waves

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<v Speaker 1>to the ground, merely looks out upon a sorrowful little

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<v Speaker 1>desert of cheap boarding houses. So you observe. Let you

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<v Speaker 1>take your view from the back of the Capital, and

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<v Speaker 1>yet not from the airy outlooks of the Dome, by

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<v Speaker 1>the way, because to get there you must pass through

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<v Speaker 1>the great Rotunda, and to do that you would have

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<v Speaker 1>to see the marvelous historical paintings that hang there, and

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<v Speaker 1>the bas reliefs, and what have you done that you

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<v Speaker 1>should suffer thus? And besides, you might have to pass

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<v Speaker 1>through the old part of the building, and you could

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<v Speaker 1>not help seeing mister Lincoln as petrified by a young

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<v Speaker 1>lady artist for ten thousand dollars. And you might take

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<v Speaker 1>his marble emancipation proclamation, which he holds out in his

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<v Speaker 1>hand and contemplates for a folded napkin, and you might

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<v Speaker 1>conceive from his expression and his attitude that he is

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<v Speaker 1>finding fault with the washing, which is not the case.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody knows what is the matter with him, but everybody

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<v Speaker 1>feels for him. Well, you ought not to go into

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<v Speaker 1>the dome anyhow, because it would be utterly impossible to

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<v Speaker 1>go up there without seeing the frescoes in it, And

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<v Speaker 1>why should you be interested in the delirium tremens of art.

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<v Speaker 1>The Capital is a very noble and very beautiful building,

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<v Speaker 1>both within and without, but you need not examine it now. Still,

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<v Speaker 1>if you greatly prefer going into the dome, go now.

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<v Speaker 1>Your general glance gives you picturesque stretches of gleaming water

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<v Speaker 1>on your left, with a sail here and there, and

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<v Speaker 1>a lunatic asylum on the shore. Over beyond the water,

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<v Speaker 1>on a distant elevation, you see a squat yellow temple,

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<v Speaker 1>which your eye dwells upon lovingly through a blur of

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<v Speaker 1>unmanly moisture, for it recalls your lost boyhood, and the

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<v Speaker 1>parthenons done in molasses candy, which made it blessed and beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>Still in the distance, but on this side of the water,

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<v Speaker 1>and close to its edge, the monument to the Father

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<v Speaker 1>of his country towers out of the mud. Sacred soil

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<v Speaker 1>is the customary term. It has the aspect of a

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<v Speaker 1>factory chimney with the top broken off, the skeleton of

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<v Speaker 1>a decaying scaffolding. Lingers about its summit, and tradition says

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<v Speaker 1>that the spirit of Washington often comes down and sits

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<v Speaker 1>on those rafters to enjoy the tribute of respect which

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<v Speaker 1>the nation has reared as the symbol of its unappeasable gratitude.

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<v Speaker 1>The monument is to be finished some day, and at

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<v Speaker 1>that time our Washington will have risen still higher in

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<v Speaker 1>the nation's veneration, and will be known as the great

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<v Speaker 1>great grandfather of his country. The memorial chimney stands in

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<v Speaker 1>a quiet, pastoral locality that is full of reposeful expression.

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<v Speaker 1>With a glass, you can see the cow sheds about

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<v Speaker 1>its base, and the contented sheep nibbling pebbles in the

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<v Speaker 1>desert solitudes that surround it, and the tired pigs dozing

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<v Speaker 1>in the holy calm of its protecting shadow. Now you

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<v Speaker 1>wrench your gaze loose, and you look down in front

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<v Speaker 1>of you and see the broad Pennsylvania Avenue stretching straight

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<v Speaker 1>ahead for a mile or more till it brings up

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<v Speaker 1>against the iron fence in front of a pillared granite pile.

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<v Speaker 1>The Treasury Building, an edifice that would command respect in

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<v Speaker 1>any capital. The stores and hotels that wall in this

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<v Speaker 1>broad avenue are mean and cheap and dingy and are

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<v Speaker 1>better left without comment. Beyond the Treasury is a fine,

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<v Speaker 1>large white barn with wide, unhandsome grounds about it. The

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<v Speaker 1>President lives there. It is ugly enough outside, but that

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<v Speaker 1>is nothing to what it is inside. Dreariness, flimsiness, bad

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<v Speaker 1>taste reduced to mathematical completeness is what the inside offers

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<v Speaker 1>to the eye, if it remains yet what it always

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<v Speaker 1>has been. The front and right hand views give you

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<v Speaker 1>the city at large. It is a wide stretch of

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<v Speaker 1>cheap little brick houses, with here and there a noble

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<v Speaker 1>architectural pile lifting itself out of the midst government buildings. These.

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<v Speaker 1>If the thaw is still going on, when you come

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<v Speaker 1>down and go out about town, you will wonder at

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<v Speaker 1>the short sightedness of the city fathers when you come

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<v Speaker 1>to inspect the streets in that they do not dilute

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<v Speaker 1>the mud a little more and use them for canals.

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<v Speaker 1>If you inquire around a little, you will find that

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<v Speaker 1>there are more boarding houses to the square acre in

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<v Speaker 1>Washington than there are in any other city in the land. Perhaps,

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<v Speaker 1>if you apply for a home in one of them,

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<v Speaker 1>it will seem odd to you to have the landlady

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<v Speaker 1>inspect you with a severe eye, and then ask you

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<v Speaker 1>if you are a member of Congress, perhaps just as pleasantry.

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<v Speaker 1>You will say yes, and then she will tell you

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<v Speaker 1>that she is full. Then you show her her advertisement

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<v Speaker 1>in the morning paper, and there she stands convicted and ashamed.

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<v Speaker 1>She will try to blush, and it will be only

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<v Speaker 1>polite in you to take the effort for the deed.

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<v Speaker 1>She shows you her rooms now and lets you take one,

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<v Speaker 1>but she makes you pay in advance for it. That

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<v Speaker 1>is what you will get for pretending to be a

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<v Speaker 1>member of Congress. If you had been content to be

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<v Speaker 1>merely a private citizen, your trunk would have been sufficient

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<v Speaker 1>security for your board. If you are curious and inquire

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<v Speaker 1>into this thing, the chances are that your landlady will

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<v Speaker 1>be ill natured enough to say that the person and

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<v Speaker 1>property of a Congressman are exempt from arrest or detention,

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<v Speaker 1>and that with the tears in her eyes, she has

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<v Speaker 1>seen several of the people's representatives walk off to their

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<v Speaker 1>several states and territories carrying her unrecedd board bills in

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<v Speaker 1>their pockets for keepsakes. And before you have been in

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<v Speaker 1>Washington many weeks, you will be mean enough to believe

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<v Speaker 1>her too of course, you contrive to see everything and

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<v Speaker 1>find out everything. And one of the first and most

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<v Speaker 1>startling things you find out is that every individual you

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<v Speaker 1>encounter in the city of Washington, almost and certainly every

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<v Speaker 1>separate and distinct individual in the public employment, from the

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<v Speaker 1>highest bureau chief clear down to the maid who scrubs

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<v Speaker 1>department halls, the night watchmen of the public buildings, and

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<v Speaker 1>the darky boy who purifies the department'spatoons, represents political influence.

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<v Speaker 1>Unless you can get the ear of a senator or

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<v Speaker 1>a congressman, or a chief of a bureau or department,

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<v Speaker 1>and persuade him to use his influence in your behalf,

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<v Speaker 1>you cannot get an employment of the most trivial nature

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<v Speaker 1>in Washington. Mere merit, fitness, and capability are useless baggage

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<v Speaker 1>to you without influence. The population of Washington consists pretty

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<v Speaker 1>much entirely of government employees and the people who bored them.

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<v Speaker 1>There are thousands of these employees, and they have gathered

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<v Speaker 1>there from every corner of the Union and got their

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<v Speaker 1>berth through the intercession. Command. Is nearer the word of

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<v Speaker 1>the senators and representatives of their respective states, it would

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<v Speaker 1>be an odd circumstance to see a girl get employment

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<v Speaker 1>at three or four dollars a week in one of

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<v Speaker 1>the great public cribs, without any political grandee to back her,

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<v Speaker 1>but merely because she was worthy and competent and a

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<v Speaker 1>good citizen of a free country that treats all persons alike.

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<v Speaker 1>Washington would be mildly thunderstruck at such a thing as that.

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<v Speaker 1>If you are a member of Congress offense, and one

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<v Speaker 1>of your constituents who doesn't know anything and does not

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<v Speaker 1>want to go into the bother of learning something, and

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<v Speaker 1>has no money and no employment and can't earn a living,

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<v Speaker 1>comes beseeching you for help. Do you say, come, my friend,

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<v Speaker 1>if your services were valuable, you could get employment elsewhere.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't want you here? Oh no. You take him to

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<v Speaker 1>a department and say, here, give this person something to

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<v Speaker 1>pass away the time at and a salary, and the

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<v Speaker 1>thing is done. You throw him on his country. He

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<v Speaker 1>is his country's child. Let his country support him. There

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<v Speaker 1>is something good and motherly about Washington, the grand old,

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<v Speaker 1>benevolent national asylum for the helpless. The wages received by

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<v Speaker 1>this great hive of employees are placed at the liberal

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<v Speaker 1>figure meet and just for skilled and competent labor. Such

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<v Speaker 1>of them as are immediately employed about the two Houses

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<v Speaker 1>of Congress are not only liberally paid also, but are

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<v Speaker 1>remembered in the customary extra Compensation Bill, which slides neatly

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<v Speaker 1>through annually with a general grab that signalizes the last

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<v Speaker 1>night of a session, and thus twenty percent is added

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<v Speaker 1>to their wages for for fun, no doubt, Washington Hawkins's

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<v Speaker 1>new life was an unceasing delight to him. Senator Dilworthy

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<v Speaker 1>lived sumptuously, and Washington's quarters were charming, gas, running water,

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<v Speaker 1>hot and cold, bathroom coal fires, rich carpets, beautiful pictures

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<v Speaker 1>on the walls, books on religion, temperance, public charities and

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<v Speaker 1>financial schemes, trim colored servants, dainty food, everything a body

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<v Speaker 1>could wish for. And as for stationary there was no

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<v Speaker 1>end of it. The government furnished at postage. Stamps were

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<v Speaker 1>not needed. The Senator's frank could convey a horse through

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<v Speaker 1>the mails if necessary. And then he saw such dazzling company.

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<v Speaker 1>Renowned general garls and admirals who had seemed but colossal

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<v Speaker 1>myths when he was in the far West, went in

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<v Speaker 1>and out before him, or sat at the Senator's table,

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<v Speaker 1>solidified into palpable flesh and blood. Famous statesmen crossed his

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<v Speaker 1>path daily, and that, once rare and awe inspiring being

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<v Speaker 1>a congressman was become a common spectacle, a spectacle so common, indeed,

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<v Speaker 1>that he could contemplate it without excitement, even without embarrassment.

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<v Speaker 1>Foreign ministers were visible to the naked eye. At happy intervals.

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<v Speaker 1>He had looked upon the President himself, and lived and more.

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<v Speaker 1>This world of enchantment teemed with speculation. The whole atmosphere

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<v Speaker 1>was thick with it, and that, indeed was Washington Hawkins's

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<v Speaker 1>native air. None other refreshed his lungs. So gratefully he

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<v Speaker 1>had found paradise at last. The more he saw of

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<v Speaker 1>his chief, the Senator, the more he honored him, and

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<v Speaker 1>the more conspicuously the moral grandeur of his character appeared

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<v Speaker 1>to stand out. He possessed the friendship and the kindly

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<v Speaker 1>interest of such a man, Washington said, in a letter

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<v Speaker 1>to Louise, was a happy fortune for a young man

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<v Speaker 1>whose career had been so impeded and so clouded as his.

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<v Speaker 1>The weeks drifted by Harry Brierly flirted, danced, added luster

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<v Speaker 1>to the brilliant senatorial receptions, and diligently buzzed and buttonholed

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<v Speaker 1>Congressman in the interest of the Columbus River scheme. Meantime,

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<v Speaker 1>Senator Dilworthy labored hard in the same interest and in

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<v Speaker 1>others of equal national importance. Harry wrote frequently to Sellers,

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<v Speaker 1>and all was encouragingly. And from these letters it was

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<v Speaker 1>easy to see that Harry was a pet with all

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<v Speaker 1>Washington and was likely to carry the thing through. That

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<v Speaker 1>the assistance rendered him by old Dilworthy was pretty fair,

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<v Speaker 1>pretty fair, and every little helps, you know, said Harry.

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<v Speaker 1>Washington wrote Sellers officially now and then in one of

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<v Speaker 1>his letters, it appeared that whereas no man member of

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<v Speaker 1>the House Committee favored the scheme at first, there was

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<v Speaker 1>now needed but one more vote to compass a majority.

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<v Speaker 1>Report closing sentence, Providence seems to further our efforts, Signed

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<v Speaker 1>Abner Dilworthy, U. S. S. Per Washington, Hawkins P. S.

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<v Speaker 1>At the end of a week, Washington was able to

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<v Speaker 1>send the happy news officially as usual, that the needed

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<v Speaker 1>vote had been added and the bill favorably reported from

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<v Speaker 1>the committee. Other letters recorded its perils in Committee of

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<v Speaker 1>the Whole, and by and by its victory by just

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<v Speaker 1>the skin of its teeth on third reading and final passage.

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<v Speaker 1>Then came letters telling of mister Dilworthy's struggles with a

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<v Speaker 1>stubborn majority in his own committee in the Senate, of

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<v Speaker 1>how these gentlemen succumbed one by one till a majority

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<v Speaker 1>was secured. Then there was a hiatus. Washington watched every

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<v Speaker 1>move on the board, and he was in a good

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<v Speaker 1>position to do this, for he was clerk of this

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<v Speaker 1>committee and also one other. He received no salary as

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<v Speaker 1>private secretary, but these two clerkships, procured by his benefactor,

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<v Speaker 1>paid him an aggregate of twelve dollars a day, without

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<v Speaker 1>counting the twenty percent extra compensation, which would of course

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<v Speaker 1>be voted to him. On the last night of the session,

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<v Speaker 1>he saw the bill go into Committee of the Whole

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<v Speaker 1>and struggle for its life again, and finally worry through

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<v Speaker 1>in the fullness of time, he noted its second reading,

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<v Speaker 1>and by and by the day arrived when the grand

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<v Speaker 1>ordeal came and it was put upon its final passage.

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<v Speaker 1>Washington listened with bated breath to the eye no no

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<v Speaker 1>aye of the voters for a few dread minutes, and

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<v Speaker 1>then could bear the suspense no longer. He ran down

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<v Speaker 1>from the gallery and hurried home to wait. At the

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<v Speaker 1>end of two or three hours, the Senator arrived in

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<v Speaker 1>the bosom of his family, and dinner was waiting. Washington

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<v Speaker 1>sprang forward with the eager question on his lips, and

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<v Speaker 1>the Senator said, we may rejoice freely now, my son.

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<v Speaker 1>Providence has crowned our efforts with success. End of Chapter

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<v Speaker 1>twenty four.
