Speaker 1: This is section twenty four of The Gilded Age. This
Speaker 1: LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,
Speaker 1: A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,
Speaker 1: Chapter twenty four. The capital of the Great Republic was
Speaker 1: a new world to country bred Washington Hawkins. Saint Louis
Speaker 1: was a greater city, but its floating population did not
Speaker 1: hail from great distances, and so it had the general
Speaker 1: family aspect of the permanent population. But Washington gathered its
Speaker 1: people from the four winds of heaven, and so the manners,
Speaker 1: the faces, and the fashions there presented a variety that
Speaker 1: was infinite. Washington had never been in society in Saint Louis,
Speaker 1: and he knew nothing of the ways of its wealthier citizens,
Speaker 1: and had never inspected one of their dwellings. Consequently, everything
Speaker 1: in the nature of modern fashion and grandeur was a
Speaker 1: new and wonderful revelation to him. Washington is an interesting
Speaker 1: city to any of us. It seems to become more
Speaker 1: and more interesting the oftener we visit it. Perhaps the
Speaker 1: reader has never been there very well. You arrive either
Speaker 1: at night rather too late to do anything or see
Speaker 1: anything until morning, or you arrive so early in the
Speaker 1: morning that you consider it best to go to your
Speaker 1: hotel and sleep an hour or two while the sun
Speaker 1: bothers along over the Atlantic. You cannot well arrive at
Speaker 1: a pleasant intermediate hour, because the railway corporation that keeps
Speaker 1: the keys of the only door that leads into the
Speaker 1: town or out of it take care of that. You
Speaker 1: arrive in tolerably good spirits because it is only thirty
Speaker 1: eight miles from Baltimore to the capital, and so you
Speaker 1: have only been insulted three times, provided you are not
Speaker 1: in a sleeping car. The average is higher there once
Speaker 1: when you renewed your ticket after stopping over in Baltimore,
Speaker 1: once when you were about to enter the ladies car
Speaker 1: without knowing it was a lady's car. And once when
Speaker 1: you ask the conductor at what hour you would reach Washington,
Speaker 1: you are assailed by a long rank of hack men
Speaker 1: who shake their whips in your face. As you step
Speaker 1: out upon the sidewalk. You enter what they regard as
Speaker 1: a carriage in the capital, and you wonder why they
Speaker 1: do not take it out of service and put it
Speaker 1: in the museum. We have few enough antiquities, and it
Speaker 1: is little to our credit that we make scarcely any
Speaker 1: effort to preserve the few we have. You reach your
Speaker 1: hotel presently, and here let us draw the curtain of charity,
Speaker 1: because of course you have gone to the wrong one.
Speaker 1: You being a stranger, how could you do otherwise? There
Speaker 1: are a hundred and eighteen bad hotels and only one
Speaker 1: good one. The most renowned and popular hotel of them
Speaker 1: all is perhaps the worst one known to history. It
Speaker 1: is winter and night. When you arrived, it was snowing.
Speaker 1: When you reached the hotel, it was sleeting. When you
Speaker 1: went to bed, it was raining. During the night. It
Speaker 1: froze hard, and the wind blew some chimneys down. When
Speaker 1: you got up in the morning, it was foggy. When
Speaker 1: you finished your breakfast at ten o'clock and went out,
Speaker 1: the sunshine was brilliant, the weather balmy and delicious, and
Speaker 1: the mud and slush deep and all pervading. You will
Speaker 1: like the climate when you get used to it. You
Speaker 1: naturally wish to view the city. So you take an umbrella,
Speaker 1: an overcoat, and a fan, and go forth. The prominent
Speaker 1: features you soon locate and get familiar with. First you
Speaker 1: glimpse the ornamental upperworks of a long, snowy palace, projecting
Speaker 1: above a grove of trees, and a tall, graceful white
Speaker 1: dome with a statue on it, surmounting the palace and
Speaker 1: pleasantly contrasting with the background of blue sky. That building
Speaker 1: is the Capital. Gossips will tell you that by the
Speaker 1: original estimates it was to cost twelve million dollars, and
Speaker 1: that the government did come within twenty one million, two
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars of building it for that sum. You
Speaker 1: stand at the back of the Capital to treat yourself
Speaker 1: to a view, and it is a very noble one,
Speaker 1: you understand. The Capital stands upon the verge of a
Speaker 1: high piece of table land, a fine commanding position, and
Speaker 1: its front looks out over this noble situation for a city.
Speaker 1: But it don't see it for the reason that when
Speaker 1: the capital extension was decided upon, the property owners at
Speaker 1: once advanced their prices to such inhuman figures that the
Speaker 1: people went down and built the city in the muddy
Speaker 1: low marsh behind the Temple of Liberty. So now the
Speaker 1: lordly front of the building, with its imposing colonnades, its
Speaker 1: projecting graceful wings, its picturesque groups of statuary, and its long,
Speaker 1: terraced ranges of steps, flowing down in white marble waves
Speaker 1: to the ground, merely looks out upon a sorrowful little
Speaker 1: desert of cheap boarding houses. So you observe. Let you
Speaker 1: take your view from the back of the Capital, and
Speaker 1: yet not from the airy outlooks of the Dome, by
Speaker 1: the way, because to get there you must pass through
Speaker 1: the great Rotunda, and to do that you would have
Speaker 1: to see the marvelous historical paintings that hang there, and
Speaker 1: the bas reliefs, and what have you done that you
Speaker 1: should suffer thus? And besides, you might have to pass
Speaker 1: through the old part of the building, and you could
Speaker 1: not help seeing mister Lincoln as petrified by a young
Speaker 1: lady artist for ten thousand dollars. And you might take
Speaker 1: his marble emancipation proclamation, which he holds out in his
Speaker 1: hand and contemplates for a folded napkin, and you might
Speaker 1: conceive from his expression and his attitude that he is
Speaker 1: finding fault with the washing, which is not the case.
Speaker 1: Nobody knows what is the matter with him, but everybody
Speaker 1: feels for him. Well, you ought not to go into
Speaker 1: the dome anyhow, because it would be utterly impossible to
Speaker 1: go up there without seeing the frescoes in it, And
Speaker 1: why should you be interested in the delirium tremens of art.
Speaker 1: The Capital is a very noble and very beautiful building,
Speaker 1: both within and without, but you need not examine it now. Still,
Speaker 1: if you greatly prefer going into the dome, go now.
Speaker 1: Your general glance gives you picturesque stretches of gleaming water
Speaker 1: on your left, with a sail here and there, and
Speaker 1: a lunatic asylum on the shore. Over beyond the water,
Speaker 1: on a distant elevation, you see a squat yellow temple,
Speaker 1: which your eye dwells upon lovingly through a blur of
Speaker 1: unmanly moisture, for it recalls your lost boyhood, and the
Speaker 1: parthenons done in molasses candy, which made it blessed and beautiful.
Speaker 1: Still in the distance, but on this side of the water,
Speaker 1: and close to its edge, the monument to the Father
Speaker 1: of his country towers out of the mud. Sacred soil
Speaker 1: is the customary term. It has the aspect of a
Speaker 1: factory chimney with the top broken off, the skeleton of
Speaker 1: a decaying scaffolding. Lingers about its summit, and tradition says
Speaker 1: that the spirit of Washington often comes down and sits
Speaker 1: on those rafters to enjoy the tribute of respect which
Speaker 1: the nation has reared as the symbol of its unappeasable gratitude.
Speaker 1: The monument is to be finished some day, and at
Speaker 1: that time our Washington will have risen still higher in
Speaker 1: the nation's veneration, and will be known as the great
Speaker 1: great grandfather of his country. The memorial chimney stands in
Speaker 1: a quiet, pastoral locality that is full of reposeful expression.
Speaker 1: With a glass, you can see the cow sheds about
Speaker 1: its base, and the contented sheep nibbling pebbles in the
Speaker 1: desert solitudes that surround it, and the tired pigs dozing
Speaker 1: in the holy calm of its protecting shadow. Now you
Speaker 1: wrench your gaze loose, and you look down in front
Speaker 1: of you and see the broad Pennsylvania Avenue stretching straight
Speaker 1: ahead for a mile or more till it brings up
Speaker 1: against the iron fence in front of a pillared granite pile.
Speaker 1: The Treasury Building, an edifice that would command respect in
Speaker 1: any capital. The stores and hotels that wall in this
Speaker 1: broad avenue are mean and cheap and dingy and are
Speaker 1: better left without comment. Beyond the Treasury is a fine,
Speaker 1: large white barn with wide, unhandsome grounds about it. The
Speaker 1: President lives there. It is ugly enough outside, but that
Speaker 1: is nothing to what it is inside. Dreariness, flimsiness, bad
Speaker 1: taste reduced to mathematical completeness is what the inside offers
Speaker 1: to the eye, if it remains yet what it always
Speaker 1: has been. The front and right hand views give you
Speaker 1: the city at large. It is a wide stretch of
Speaker 1: cheap little brick houses, with here and there a noble
Speaker 1: architectural pile lifting itself out of the midst government buildings. These.
Speaker 1: If the thaw is still going on, when you come
Speaker 1: down and go out about town, you will wonder at
Speaker 1: the short sightedness of the city fathers when you come
Speaker 1: to inspect the streets in that they do not dilute
Speaker 1: the mud a little more and use them for canals.
Speaker 1: If you inquire around a little, you will find that
Speaker 1: there are more boarding houses to the square acre in
Speaker 1: Washington than there are in any other city in the land. Perhaps,
Speaker 1: if you apply for a home in one of them,
Speaker 1: it will seem odd to you to have the landlady
Speaker 1: inspect you with a severe eye, and then ask you
Speaker 1: if you are a member of Congress, perhaps just as pleasantry.
Speaker 1: You will say yes, and then she will tell you
Speaker 1: that she is full. Then you show her her advertisement
Speaker 1: in the morning paper, and there she stands convicted and ashamed.
Speaker 1: She will try to blush, and it will be only
Speaker 1: polite in you to take the effort for the deed.
Speaker 1: She shows you her rooms now and lets you take one,
Speaker 1: but she makes you pay in advance for it. That
Speaker 1: is what you will get for pretending to be a
Speaker 1: member of Congress. If you had been content to be
Speaker 1: merely a private citizen, your trunk would have been sufficient
Speaker 1: security for your board. If you are curious and inquire
Speaker 1: into this thing, the chances are that your landlady will
Speaker 1: be ill natured enough to say that the person and
Speaker 1: property of a Congressman are exempt from arrest or detention,
Speaker 1: and that with the tears in her eyes, she has
Speaker 1: seen several of the people's representatives walk off to their
Speaker 1: several states and territories carrying her unrecedd board bills in
Speaker 1: their pockets for keepsakes. And before you have been in
Speaker 1: Washington many weeks, you will be mean enough to believe
Speaker 1: her too of course, you contrive to see everything and
Speaker 1: find out everything. And one of the first and most
Speaker 1: startling things you find out is that every individual you
Speaker 1: encounter in the city of Washington, almost and certainly every
Speaker 1: separate and distinct individual in the public employment, from the
Speaker 1: highest bureau chief clear down to the maid who scrubs
Speaker 1: department halls, the night watchmen of the public buildings, and
Speaker 1: the darky boy who purifies the department'spatoons, represents political influence.
Speaker 1: Unless you can get the ear of a senator or
Speaker 1: a congressman, or a chief of a bureau or department,
Speaker 1: and persuade him to use his influence in your behalf,
Speaker 1: you cannot get an employment of the most trivial nature
Speaker 1: in Washington. Mere merit, fitness, and capability are useless baggage
Speaker 1: to you without influence. The population of Washington consists pretty
Speaker 1: much entirely of government employees and the people who bored them.
Speaker 1: There are thousands of these employees, and they have gathered
Speaker 1: there from every corner of the Union and got their
Speaker 1: berth through the intercession. Command. Is nearer the word of
Speaker 1: the senators and representatives of their respective states, it would
Speaker 1: be an odd circumstance to see a girl get employment
Speaker 1: at three or four dollars a week in one of
Speaker 1: the great public cribs, without any political grandee to back her,
Speaker 1: but merely because she was worthy and competent and a
Speaker 1: good citizen of a free country that treats all persons alike.
Speaker 1: Washington would be mildly thunderstruck at such a thing as that.
Speaker 1: If you are a member of Congress offense, and one
Speaker 1: of your constituents who doesn't know anything and does not
Speaker 1: want to go into the bother of learning something, and
Speaker 1: has no money and no employment and can't earn a living,
Speaker 1: comes beseeching you for help. Do you say, come, my friend,
Speaker 1: if your services were valuable, you could get employment elsewhere.
Speaker 1: Don't want you here? Oh no. You take him to
Speaker 1: a department and say, here, give this person something to
Speaker 1: pass away the time at and a salary, and the
Speaker 1: thing is done. You throw him on his country. He
Speaker 1: is his country's child. Let his country support him. There
Speaker 1: is something good and motherly about Washington, the grand old,
Speaker 1: benevolent national asylum for the helpless. The wages received by
Speaker 1: this great hive of employees are placed at the liberal
Speaker 1: figure meet and just for skilled and competent labor. Such
Speaker 1: of them as are immediately employed about the two Houses
Speaker 1: of Congress are not only liberally paid also, but are
Speaker 1: remembered in the customary extra Compensation Bill, which slides neatly
Speaker 1: through annually with a general grab that signalizes the last
Speaker 1: night of a session, and thus twenty percent is added
Speaker 1: to their wages for for fun, no doubt, Washington Hawkins's
Speaker 1: new life was an unceasing delight to him. Senator Dilworthy
Speaker 1: lived sumptuously, and Washington's quarters were charming, gas, running water,
Speaker 1: hot and cold, bathroom coal fires, rich carpets, beautiful pictures
Speaker 1: on the walls, books on religion, temperance, public charities and
Speaker 1: financial schemes, trim colored servants, dainty food, everything a body
Speaker 1: could wish for. And as for stationary there was no
Speaker 1: end of it. The government furnished at postage. Stamps were
Speaker 1: not needed. The Senator's frank could convey a horse through
Speaker 1: the mails if necessary. And then he saw such dazzling company.
Speaker 1: Renowned general garls and admirals who had seemed but colossal
Speaker 1: myths when he was in the far West, went in
Speaker 1: and out before him, or sat at the Senator's table,
Speaker 1: solidified into palpable flesh and blood. Famous statesmen crossed his
Speaker 1: path daily, and that, once rare and awe inspiring being
Speaker 1: a congressman was become a common spectacle, a spectacle so common, indeed,
Speaker 1: that he could contemplate it without excitement, even without embarrassment.
Speaker 1: Foreign ministers were visible to the naked eye. At happy intervals.
Speaker 1: He had looked upon the President himself, and lived and more.
Speaker 1: This world of enchantment teemed with speculation. The whole atmosphere
Speaker 1: was thick with it, and that, indeed was Washington Hawkins's
Speaker 1: native air. None other refreshed his lungs. So gratefully he
Speaker 1: had found paradise at last. The more he saw of
Speaker 1: his chief, the Senator, the more he honored him, and
Speaker 1: the more conspicuously the moral grandeur of his character appeared
Speaker 1: to stand out. He possessed the friendship and the kindly
Speaker 1: interest of such a man, Washington said, in a letter
Speaker 1: to Louise, was a happy fortune for a young man
Speaker 1: whose career had been so impeded and so clouded as his.
Speaker 1: The weeks drifted by Harry Brierly flirted, danced, added luster
Speaker 1: to the brilliant senatorial receptions, and diligently buzzed and buttonholed
Speaker 1: Congressman in the interest of the Columbus River scheme. Meantime,
Speaker 1: Senator Dilworthy labored hard in the same interest and in
Speaker 1: others of equal national importance. Harry wrote frequently to Sellers,
Speaker 1: and all was encouragingly. And from these letters it was
Speaker 1: easy to see that Harry was a pet with all
Speaker 1: Washington and was likely to carry the thing through. That
Speaker 1: the assistance rendered him by old Dilworthy was pretty fair,
Speaker 1: pretty fair, and every little helps, you know, said Harry.
Speaker 1: Washington wrote Sellers officially now and then in one of
Speaker 1: his letters, it appeared that whereas no man member of
Speaker 1: the House Committee favored the scheme at first, there was
Speaker 1: now needed but one more vote to compass a majority.
Speaker 1: Report closing sentence, Providence seems to further our efforts, Signed
Speaker 1: Abner Dilworthy, U. S. S. Per Washington, Hawkins P. S.
Speaker 1: At the end of a week, Washington was able to
Speaker 1: send the happy news officially as usual, that the needed
Speaker 1: vote had been added and the bill favorably reported from
Speaker 1: the committee. Other letters recorded its perils in Committee of
Speaker 1: the Whole, and by and by its victory by just
Speaker 1: the skin of its teeth on third reading and final passage.
Speaker 1: Then came letters telling of mister Dilworthy's struggles with a
Speaker 1: stubborn majority in his own committee in the Senate, of
Speaker 1: how these gentlemen succumbed one by one till a majority
Speaker 1: was secured. Then there was a hiatus. Washington watched every
Speaker 1: move on the board, and he was in a good
Speaker 1: position to do this, for he was clerk of this
Speaker 1: committee and also one other. He received no salary as
Speaker 1: private secretary, but these two clerkships, procured by his benefactor,
Speaker 1: paid him an aggregate of twelve dollars a day, without
Speaker 1: counting the twenty percent extra compensation, which would of course
Speaker 1: be voted to him. On the last night of the session,
Speaker 1: he saw the bill go into Committee of the Whole
Speaker 1: and struggle for its life again, and finally worry through
Speaker 1: in the fullness of time, he noted its second reading,
Speaker 1: and by and by the day arrived when the grand
Speaker 1: ordeal came and it was put upon its final passage.
Speaker 1: Washington listened with bated breath to the eye no no
Speaker 1: aye of the voters for a few dread minutes, and
Speaker 1: then could bear the suspense no longer. He ran down
Speaker 1: from the gallery and hurried home to wait. At the
Speaker 1: end of two or three hours, the Senator arrived in
Speaker 1: the bosom of his family, and dinner was waiting. Washington
Speaker 1: sprang forward with the eager question on his lips, and
Speaker 1: the Senator said, we may rejoice freely now, my son.
Speaker 1: Providence has crowned our efforts with success. End of Chapter
Speaker 1: twenty four.