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today's episode. Disclaimer. The views and opinions expressed in this
podcast are those of the guests and do not necessarily
reflect the views or positions of this show, its host,
or any of the companies they represent. Now, guys, today
you're about to listen to one of the craziest near
death experience stories I have ever had on this show,
and arguably one of my favorite, because not only is
it deep and raw and just profound, it is arguably
one of the funniest ones I have ever heard. Wilcome
to the show. Nd ear Betty Gordan, I mean, I
I just am without words after this episode. Guys, so
I feel like near death experiences. Get ready, let's dive in,
like to Welcome to the show, Betty Goudaniahi doing.
Speaker 2: Betty, so grateful to be here.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming down to Next Level
Soul Studios. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful here.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. We
try to we try to make it.
Speaker 2: Homie, it's really nice.
Speaker 1: That's a nice, cool vibe here, These these lovely souls
are always with us. So we're going to talk about
your near death experience. But yours your story is pretty
interesting because you were a hardcore atheist, definitely hardcore atheist.
You were raised in the Jewish faith.
Speaker 2: No, my mother was Jewish, my father was Catholic, but
they were agnostic atheist.
Speaker 1: Got you. So they didn't even go on Easter to
the church or the temple, right, nothing like that, right, So,
so you didn't have much of a spiritual.
Speaker 2: Upbringing, zero spiritual awareness, spirits.
Speaker 1: So when you were coming up.
Speaker 2: Nothing nothing, nothing, Never heard of the word spiritual awakening,
never heard of a near death experience, never heard of
a chakra, nothing.
Speaker 1: Nothing like that. But you had heard of like Jesus obviously, sure,
and you've heard of you know these kind of you
know stories in the Bible and things. But it was
just like, yeah, whatever, So you were hardcore atheists. So
what did I always like to ask atheists? What did
you believe? Like, what did you think was going to
happen after you died as an atheist?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought that you just turn into dirt and
that's it and that's the end of it.
Speaker 1: It was just.
Speaker 2: Easier for me to not believe in something because I
had such a traumatic childhood and I had so many
terrible things happened to me, and if I believed in God,
then I would have to believe that God was doing
those things to me. And so I just stayed hidden
from God instead because it seemed easier.
Speaker 1: It was a coping mechanism, definitely, it was a coping mechanism.
That's an interesting because I always love hearing atheist's points
of view of like, Okay, so what do you think?
And it's just it's just very fascinating. So so let's
go down what happened. So before we get into your
near death experience, what was your life like before it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, my life before my experience was traumatizing. That's a
good encapsulating word. So I grew up in a family
that was full of addiction and poverty and sexual trauma
and everything that goes along with living a life like that,
and I just thought that it was all really normal.
I didn't realize that any of that stuff was different.
I thought that it was normal to steal your groceries.
I thought that it was normal to get eviction notices
on your door and move once or twice a year.
I thought that it was normal to have a long
orange extension cord going from your apartment to the building,
to have lights on in your house. I thought all
that stuff was completely normal because that's what I saw
around me. And I didn't realize that my life was
abnormal until much later. But I did know that my
parents were struggling. But every time that they smoked something
or took a drink, or they ate a pill, everything
just turned off. It was as if there was nothing
wrong anymore. And so I made all of these mental
notes as a little kid. As soon as I can
get my hands on whatever that is, that's what I'm
going to do.
Speaker 1: Oh wow. So it was that programming of that first
seven year programming period where you don't even have to
be taught. It's not like they sat down and go
this is how you do meth right. They go along
those lines, But just by being in the environment, you
pick up subconsciously.
Speaker 2: Absolutely all that stuff. Watching the behaviors. Is it like
all I know is that things are shifting, and I
want that shift.
Speaker 1: It's interesting like when people I always tell people when
they come into that they don't believe in the subconscious
training of the first seven years. I go, have you
ever met a rich person who is the stupidest, dumbest
person you've ever met? But they are rich for no reason?
And they go, yeah, it's because they were born into
that kind of family, and subconsciously they just learned how
to deal with money because it was around them. So
whatever you do, you know, as an actress, if you're
born into an acting family, that's just normal. So you
start picking all these things up. So it's very very
Those seven years are very bad. I always say those
first seven years are the you learn, and then the
rest of your life you'll figure out how to deprogram
yourself from the first sec exactly. So as you're going
through how old were you when you had your near
death experience?
Speaker 2: I was thirty five?
Speaker 1: Sure, thirty five, So you lived the good amount of
life already. Oh yeah, you live the good amount of life.
And during that time period, what was going on? I mean,
obviously you started going down the addiction path. How did
you deal with that on a psychological level? Did spirituality
even peek its head during that time?
Speaker 2: No? No lights out, No, definitely all the way asleep.
You know, my parents. I watched their addiction really take
a hold of them and just start to destroy them.
And in two thousand and seven, it was the height
of the oxy cotton epidemic, and my parents were prescribed
over a thousand pills each every month, and somehow we're
always running out of pills. They were facing another eviction.
The lights were turned off, the gas was turned off,
and they made this decision that they had to end
their suffer, they had to stop using, and the only
way that they knew how to do that was to
do what they saw everybody else in our family do,
which was die. And so in two thousand and seven,
my parents intentionally overdosed together. They ended their lives together. Yeah,
totally the worst. I mean, just you can't even imagine.
I was twenty three when that happened, and my sister
was eighteen. We found them and they left these little
notes written on the kitchen magnet notepad and it just
said take care of each other, as if a twenty
three year old and an eighteen year old would know how.
Speaker 1: To do that. I'm so sorry, and it was.
Speaker 2: You know, the thing is that my addiction stepped in
when my parents died, and it became my parent It
didn't only become my parent, it became my guiding star.
It became my higher power. So I didn't have room
for God in my life because addiction was my God.
Yeah you yeah, and it was it. Really It just
threw me for a loop. It made me abandon everything
in my life. I left my sister, I moved across
the country. I said that I couldn't deal. I decided
that I was going to become the perpetrator in people's storylines.
I was no longer going to be a victim. I
was done being a victim in my life. And I
didn't even know that there are other roles to play.
I thought that it was only perpetrator and victim, and
so I decided to be the abuser. And I abused people.
I mean intentionally, maliciously traumatized other people because I wanted
them to hurt as deeply and badly as I hurt.
Hurt people, hurt people absolutely, and healed people, heal people
very much.
Speaker 1: So on the other side, there's balance to everything in
this universe. There's balance to everything. So as you're going
through this, before we get to your and near death experience,
let's just jump into we're going to like do a
pulp fiction and jump in the narrative a little bit.
So we're going to go all over the place. So
before you're near death experience, let's just jump after what
you've you're awakening. Why do you believe that you chose
this life? This blueprint? Those parents? Because so many people
watching and listening. You know, when I say you know
you chose this. I do this to my kids all
the time. When they start fighting with each other, I'll go, well,
you chose your sister, I'm like, no, I did my kid?
My kid, one of my kids say. She always says
that it's just a wheel. It's a wheel of chance.
I'm like, so is there a giant cosmic wheel? Well,
if there is, then who's pulling it? And she goes, oh,
just shut that? Called do your dead people talking? Show
love children? But so so many people listening, don't it
really triggers them when you say you chose this life
because they're only looking at it from the human perspective,
not the soul perspective. So I'd love to hear your
thoughts on that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't you know. I if someone would have
told me that I chose my life, I would have
punched them in the face. It would have been like
lights out. It would have been really bad. But for
me today, I know that I chose the life path
that I'm on because heaven is really boring and my
soul is This Spanish novella script writer and she was like,
let's do it all while we have a chance, script writer.
I mean, every storyline that could happen in a person's
life has happened in my life.
Speaker 1: Has your evil twin come back from life from the dead. Yeah,
we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show. So why do you think? So,
why do you think you did this? Why did you
think you went down this? This is not an easy
path when you're taught, and you've only given me some
cliff notes versions of that. You haven't given me details.
I can only imagine how difficult that path is. A
path of addiction is horrendous. But it seems like that
was just one of the many, many ingredients in your
recipe put together. Yeah, in the Spanish novella scriptwriter, you
got on the other side.
Speaker 2: So you know, the life lesson of addiction is brutal,
but it also comes with the dual experience of recovery.
So some souls don't get an opportunity to experience both
parts of the lesson I made, like my parents exactly.
So what I do is I heal not only for myself,
but for them too, and for the generations and generations
in my particular family line and family lines of people
that I'll never know, never encounter. As I take on
this intense healing, it's not just for me, It's for
the whole collective. And having that idea keeps me going,
because if I thought that it was just for me,
I might not I might just give up and say
it's too much.
Speaker 1: So you're saying, it's really interesting. You're talking now about
ancestral drama that is in our bloodlines and that we
carry those things along. So there could be generations of abuse,
generations of addiction, and it takes one soul to break
the cycle, and when they do, it does ripple, even
on a small standpoint like what you're talking about. I
heard that once a person becomes enlightened, they just erase
karma for like, I mean, how many generations for it
and backwards? I heard this is one thing I heard
from the Vedic test so you're doing something similar, and
if it's not even as grandiose as like when Jesus
did it or something like that, it does stop it
and the next generation can come in without having to
deal with it. Very Bruce Lee, the dragon kind of thing.
You know what?
Speaker 2: These are all stories, right, So this is the story
that I tell myself because it makes my human experience
a joyful one. So if somebody thinks another kind of
narrative correct, they're allowed to have that narrative too. This
is what makes me feel like I have purpose here
and that's why I stay centered in spiritual awareness, spiritual principles, recovery,
open mindedness is to be I want to be the
ancestor that people and my family pray to one day
and say, oh I need Aunt Betty's help.
Speaker 1: You know, do you think because something you said stories?
And since I've been in a storyteller most of my life,
the one thing I keep hearing and seeing again and
again is we're all just trying to figure this out.
We were kind of dumped on this planet. Essentially, we
come out in a very cold, harsh way, generally speaking,
unless you have a home birth in warm water, but
generally you come in harsh, you come in hot, and
you're just trying to figure this out. For the rest
of your life. You're trying to figure out this reality.
And the stories that we tell ourselves and the stories
that we believe are are coping mechanisms. Religion is that
for us, the way we look at life like you
looked at life like, oh, addiction or these things that
my parents are doing. Oh, that's going to solve my
problem because that was a story that was told to you,
even if it wasn't directly, but it was a story
that you you started to play in your head and
as a destructive story until you change the story. But
we're all just trying to figure things out, and stories
are the only thing that kind of hold us together
without losing our mind because this is not easy down here.
Speaker 2: And you know that's why in every pantheon, in every
mythological family, it's the same narrative that threads through all
of them. And this hero's journey, of course, this is it,
Like this is what it's all about. Everybody has an
opportunity to hop into their their hero's journey. If I can,
everybody can, Okay, Like there's no I'm not a special.
This is available to everybody to take a situation and
use your pain for purpose, to turn it into power.
That's what I that's what I the only thing that
gets me through this experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's and I found it so beautiful. You said that,
you know, the story I tell myself is that I'm
doing this for my generations forward and back. And that's
what keeps me going because if it was just for me,
I don't think I would have gone down. Why do
you think that? Why do you think that you need
the grandiose storyline as opposed to like, I just need
to heal myself. I'm just curious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think because it gives me purpose than you
think about the fact. I think that most people will
help another person before they'll help themselves. Write the analogy
of quitting the oxygen mask on yourself first, they have
to say you that, because people would not intentionally do that.
That's not our default is to help ourselves. It's to
help other people. So it's one of the things that
keeps me motivated to keep going because when I first
came into this journey, I didn't like myself. Why would
I want to heal from myself? I don't know who
I am, and the person that I was is really
a terrible person, and I don't want to be around her.
So I had to figure out who I am in
spiritual awareness, who this new version of me is that
came from my spiritual experience, and learn to love her.
And it was a process. We're all I'm still doing it.
Speaker 1: We're all still trying to figure out how to love ourselves.
Is that like the greatest power we could have is
to actually truly love ourselves.
Speaker 2: I want to love myself the way that God loves me.
That's my goal every day.
Speaker 1: So that's a T shirt. That's a beautiful saying. You're
absolutely right, it's I want to love myself like God
loves me. Oh God, Because most of them, we're the
worst to ourselves. Yeah, we're the worst. I always tell people, like,
if you had a friend who talked to you like
you talk to yourself, you would punch them in the face.
You would run away from them. Yeah, we're brutal.
Speaker 2: When I first went when I first came into recovery,
I did this exercise where I wrote a letter to
myself as myself, and then I wrote a letter to
myself as a friend. And the contrast between these letters
was incredible. I mean, the letter to myself as myself
was all curse words. It was just like oh my man,
scribbling all over a page. And the letter to myself
as a friend was like, you're doing so great. I'm
so proud of you. And it was two wildly different aspects.
And I think for me as myself, you know, that's
kind of my ego centered thought system. Me treating myself
like a friend, that's my spirit centered thought system.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. That's beautiful. So all right, let's go to
the day that you died. What happened on that day?
Speaker 2: On that day, I took too many substances. Who would
have thought a drug addict took too many drugs?
Speaker 1: You were thirty five.
Speaker 2: I was thirty five, you know.
Speaker 1: I Before you continue, look I remember thirty five. It's
not twenty five, right, it's not fifteen either. Yeah, so
you feel things at a whole other level. And I
can imagine the abuse that you've been putting your body
through and you're still, you know, doing that. The body
could only take so much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was a hot mess. I mean I have
some before and after pictures. It is you, you would
never ever believe it. It's so incredible. But I never
gave myself a chance to feel anything. Every day was
medicating all day. Every day. There wasn't an hour of reprieve.
Maybe if I passed out, but that's it. And then
it was right back to it the second that your
eyes open. And that was how addiction had become for me.
It was my whole persona. I'm covered in tattoos of
liquor bottles and packs of cigarettes. Okay, this was my
entire personality. Wow was that of a party girl quote
unquote an addict? Like this was my entire life?
Speaker 1: How did you before we get to the near deaths?
Because I'm really fascinating and I really hope this helps
people watching. How did you function?
Speaker 2: I did it?
Speaker 1: Side, Like, how do you have a job?
Speaker 2: How do you get So I was a prostitute. I
ended up. At first it was fun, then it was
fun with problems, and then it was just problems. That's
the progression of the disease of addiction. So you know,
at first I had jobs, I had an apartment, I
had husbands, I had pets, I had clothes, I had friends,
and then slowly, but surely all of those things faded
out of my life, and then I could was no
longer employable, and I had to start doing depraved things
to make money so that I could keep my addiction
going because that was the most important thing in my life.
Speaker 1: That's how it is. Yeah, all right, So to the
day you.
Speaker 2: Died, Okay, so the day I die. So it was
on March twenty third, twenty nineteen, which is actually the
beginning of the season of Aries, which is a symbol
of rebirth, and it's right around the spring solstice. And
this was an epic rebirth. I took too much because
I was going to go do my laundry and I
was like, I better be real wavy to go do
this long laundry rough. Yeah, and I ended up overdosing.
And I had this incredibly contrasted experience in my overdose.
The first part of it was a life review, and
like I said, I was a traumatized person who was
intentionally traumatizing other people for this. Yes, my life review
was not nice. It was not a good time. It
was brutal, it was agonizing. I started to experience the
pain that I inflicted on others from their point of view,
and it was emotional pain that I was feeling too,
not just the physical things that I had done to
people like lied, cheated, steal, like stolen from being, you know,
all of this physical stuff, the emotional pain and turmoil,
like it felt like I had ripped a piece of
their soul apart. And so that was what I was experiencing.
And then I started to experience what felt like a
collective life review. I was experiencing all the experiences that
have ever happened on earth.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: Because I was experiencing things that had not happened in
this physical lifetime for me, Like I experienced childbirth, but
I'm not a person who's had a child. I experienced
the death of my child. Again, not a person who's
had a child. My awareness is going into all of
these other life experiences today. I have some awareness that
those I've had past lives like that, and so it
was kind of coming to me like that. But I
was also seeing it from people's perspectives in my family.
So when I had this experience of my child dying,
I was in the awareness of my aunt, who my
cousin died, and so I was experiencing her pain. I
was seeing her face, feeling her agony. And then I
started to experience my parents' suicide from their point of
view as well as my point of view as a
grieving daughter, but from their point of view, the pain,
the ocean of anguish that I was drowning in. It
felt like every cell in my body was covered in
spikes and static and concrete and I was being shredded apart.
And in that moment, I thought, Okay, I must be
dead because I'm seeing all these dead people and I'm
dead and this is it and this sucks. It's not
what I expected.
Speaker 1: So before we keep going. So did you just when
you when you overdose, did you just pop into a
life review? Or was there a tunnel of light? Was
there darkness? What was it?
Speaker 2: It was? It was like a it was an It's
I fell on my bathroom floor and I just started
to feel the feelings. So and it took me years
to piece together that it was a life review. I
just used to say, you know, I saw my parents
and that's how I knew I was dead, because I
saw my dead parents. But you know, the amount of
emotions that I was experiencing was every emotion that you
could ever have in the earth experience.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. I've not heard of a life review that
you started to see other life experiences and they weren't
you in another life or another timeline. It was through
other peoples in your in your world or people that
were not in your world.
Speaker 2: Both you know and I have some language for today.
I was experiencing a spontaneous Kundalini awakening. Oh Jesus, So
if anybody doesn't know, Kundalini roughly translates into life force.
So I was having this life force energy activation. I
was experiencing all of life, not just my life, every life,
and it was I mean, it wasn't the most intense
thing ever. And I had a unity experience, and it
was as if my soul was going up and down
the scale of consciousness. I was experiencing grief and apathy
and loss and anger and betrayal and then going into
acceptance and willingness and unconditional love. But it was just
rapid firing up and down.
Speaker 1: God, it's like they threw in a washing machine.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it was brutal, all right.
Speaker 1: So you're watching the life review. And it's more of
a feeling than it is like a room, right, because
there's some end the ears that walked into a room
and there's a spirit guy next to them, and they're like, here,
let's take a look at your life review. You weren't that.
Speaker 2: So the way that I perceive it is that everything
that I was constructing was coming from my mind's eye.
The space where I was had no physical features to it,
but my mind's eye was construct spaces within it.
Speaker 1: Got it. But so were you dead or were you
not dead yet?
Speaker 2: I don't know if I actually died, because nobody ever
pronounced me dead. This is all just like me strung
out on my bathroom.
Speaker 1: Floor, fair enough, so you could have well you did
od I mean.
Speaker 2: A part of me died if I didn't physically die.
Speaker 1: Right exactly. So you're going through all of this. So
then what happens after the life review, which, by the way,
it sounds horrific, but there was positive stuff. So you
were going up and down. A lot of people when
I talk them about the life review, they're terrified of
it because they feel it's judgment. Did you feel judged
or do you just feel like this is what it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no such thing as condemnation. There's no such
thing as judgment. It's me judging me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is.
Speaker 2: The worst, which is I'm the wor I'm the worst judge.
So it was just me judging me or you know,
maybe the way that society would judge those things. My
conditioning was judging the experiences. But I was also feeling
the emotion, so it wasn't really about judgment. It was
about truth. This is the way that I made other
people will feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no bs around this. It's like just just
like you hurt this person. This is how it feels, right,
as opposed to like someone telling you you really hurt
Johnny's feelings. You know, you felt what Johnny was feeling.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: And then all right, so after you go through this,
you know, up and down roller coaster of a contleeent
awakening all at once. What happened next?
Speaker 2: So while I was in that space of my parents' death,
I gave up, this is it, this is what life
is now. And then I started to hear my father's
voice and he was chanting, you are worthy of all
the love in the universe. You are worthy of all
the love in the un him. Yeah, and so I
and then it kind of morphed into every masculine man
that I've ever had in my life, and I started
to follow those voices because I trusted them because I
knew my dad's voice. And as I was following that,
that was when I traveled into the light and I
started to have a very different experience than the life review,
which was very welcome.
Speaker 1: So I want to stop you there for a second.
So your life review, I've not heard this before, and
I've heard a few of these. You're you had to
come in through this door essentially for you to even
like It's not like you went into the light and
then you saw Aunt Betty or Aunt Jenny's there and
everyone's there and then you have a life review. No,
you had to like get in. We had to shake
you up a lot, and then you came into the light.
It's do you believe that every and that every near
death experience is custom built for the soul and where
they are in their life.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that we all have our own editing team.
Speaker 1: Hopefully they're not telenovella writers like yours.
Speaker 2: So I don't think that it's one size fits all.
I mean, you know about from interviewing so many experiencers,
there is no there's no U, there's no one size
fits all when it comes to this. There are some
common themes that.
Speaker 1: Popaback life review Tunnel of Light. There are themes. Sure, yeah,
Jesus sometimes show up, Buddha sometimes shows up. Sometimes it's
you know, it's your dad, sometimes it's your dog. All right,
So you're going towards.
Speaker 2: The light, okay. So I go into the light. And
so everything looked a lot like a video game in
my light experience. And that could be because of the
generation that I'm born in, or because we're living in
a simulation.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously, maybe it's some combination called the matrix.
Come on, Neil will be here any day.
Speaker 2: So I end up on what felt like the deck
of a spaceship, and there was thousands of other souls
around me. I just don't have any better language for it.
It actually looked like the inside of the Gravitron ride
from Carnivals. Do you remember that? Looks like a spaceship
spins really fast. I came out of the side of
one of those walls, and then in the center there
was this commander. It felt like a commander to an army,
and there was thousands of souls all around me, and
you can call that commander Christ or Krishna or Buddha.
Speaker 1: There was a consciousness.
Speaker 2: There was a higher consciousness, loving, accepting, leading, secure, and
all these souls were all jazzed, like we are pumped,
and our commander is telling us that we are the
most special volunteers and we have decided to jump to
Earth for the transformation of consciousness. And everybody is cheering,
and everybody's so excited, and you know, I have no
idea what's going on, but I know that I am
part of this, and I feel the connection to all
the other souls around me. My awareness quickly shifts over
to another scene and I find myself in front of
a table of beings and it was like this really crappy,
plastic like banquet hall table, nothing ornate, nothing beautiful. And
I there was these beings behind the table, and I
didn't ask them who they were because I didn't need to,
because I knew that they were people in charge. I
didn't have to ask them who they were. I don't
know if they're in charge of everything that is or
just me, but they had this big giant book and
they were thumbing through it and looking at me and
looking at the book and saying, it's really nice to
see you. You're not meant to stay, You're only here
for information. And I'm like looking all around me, I'm like,
you guys aren't talking to me, are you? Because I
don't know where I am, but I'm staying. This place
feels awesome where I just was not awesome. This place, Yes,
I want to stay here. And they just continue to
look through the book and they said, you're here for information,
and my awareness shifts to another scene and I find
myself with a man. He was again look like it
was like a video game, so this is kind of
like NPC. And he's guiding me. He's wearing a plaid
blazer and a fedora. He has this big, giant, empty
grocery cart and he says, okay, let's pick your life.
And so I start supermarket sweep style running through the
aisles of a grocery store and lining the walls of
the grocery store aisles where these big, huge, family sized
cereal boxes and every cereal box has a life experience
on it, and so my soul is like let's do it.
We're going to Earth great awakening. Here we come transformation
of consciousness and just starts grabbing everything. Now, my family
line had already been decided because there were certain experiences
that I needed to have.
Speaker 1: But you were there, but you were already in the life.
It's not like you're a freshol coming in.
Speaker 2: I'm seeing my pre birth planning. So I'm seeing all
of what's happening before I jumped to Earth. This is
all what's taking place.
Speaker 1: So you saw the pre birth, Yes, the pre birth experience.
Speaker 2: This is my pre birth experience with the cereal boxes,
which is good foreshadowing because I ate a lot of
cereal as a kid, obviously, so I started grabbing all
of these cereal boxes, and I'm grabbing things that one
soul has no business taking on all this cereal. Nobody
can eat all this food in one lifetime, like addiction
and poverty and you know, sexual trauma. I got the
variety pack of that one. Give it all to me.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: And the one experience that I think is really profound
that I like to share about is that I did
choose this experience of childhood sexual trauma. I grabbed the
cereal box, and when I pulled the cereal box out,
a little orb of light came out with the box.
And that orb of light was the soul of the
man that molested me as a small child. And we
came orb to orb with each other, and we came
into contract, and I saw all the reasons why, one
of the main reasons being that in a previous lifetime
I had been his abuser and we were balancing our
energy with each other. I also saw that we loved
each other so much, and that's why we were going
to play these roles to each other. That he was
going to be the villain for me in this lifetime,
my perpetrator. And I also saw that because I was
coming to Earth for the Great Awakening, that particular life
experience wasn't just about me. It was about healing for
every little girl and boy who doesn't get an opportunity
to heal from their childhood sexual trauma. And so I
was taking this on with the intention that as I
heal everyone around me, heals I ripple it out into
the universe. And so this experience, this knowledge just cracked
me out of my victim mentality. It felt like a
whole shell had come off of me, two tons of
garbage had been released from my spirit. I'm not a victim.
I'm a divine co creator. I have co created my
experience with the divine. And so I find myself back
in front of the table of beings. I'm crying out
in gratitude. I'm on my knees. This is so incredible.
I'm so grateful to have this information. Earth is still
a dumpster fire though, I'm definitely not going back, but
I feel so much better now that I know this,
this great Awakening show, it's gonna be lit. I'm gonna
watch it from up here. I'm gonna grab my PGS
and a bowl of popcorn, and I'm gonna chill with
you guys. And they were like, no, girl, you're going back.
And I trans formed into a small child, like hitting
my hands and my feet, figured of hands and feet.
There's nobody there, but like just throwing a tantrum. I
will not go back. You cannot make me go back.
Do not make me go back. And then I cried out,
you guys don't tell us what Earth is actually like.
And they said you say that every time you come
back home, like literally every time you come back here.
They said, you're not going back as a punishment. You're
going back because you've been training for lifetimes for this
particular lifetime. This is a mission that you're on and
we're not going to let you miss your opportunity. This
is the most exciting time to be on earth. Every
soul that is here is here for the transformation of consciousness.
And I said, well, I can't go back into her.
And I could see my body outside myself just like
blast it out on my bathroom floor. I was like,
look at her. She's a mess, she's glitched, she's broken,
she needs way too much healing. It would be impossible
to accomplish. I can't go back into her. And they said, okay,
you don't have to go back into her. I will
show you the baby that you'll be born into because
you're going back. There's no other option. And so I
could kind of perceive my grocery cart getting shoved over
to the side. My life experienced grocery cart, and then again,
like a video game, a little avatar of a baby
popped up. It was like slowly circling three hundred and
sixty degrees, and I saw all her stats line up
next to her, her gender, her ethnicity, where she would
be born, who her parents were, what was her adversity,
you know, her purpose, parts of her mission, and this
baby was going to have an even more challenging life
than my own. Cool and I thought, I can't do
this from zero. If these are really my only options
to go back into that glitched, broken body that I
just came from or start over, I'm just going to
go back into the body that I came from. And
the beings of light were very loving, and they said
to me, listen, the first part of your life was
boot camp. Nobody likes boot camp. There's like a bald
guy screaming in your face. You're doing a thousand push
ups in the mud. It's gross. The second part of
your life is going to be carrying out your mission.
You're going to have a team, You're gonna have soulmates,
kindred spirits, mentors, teachers, communities. It's going to be so
much better. You won't even be able to understand. Just
trust us. And I was like, I do not trust you, guys, peace.
And then I found myself back in my awareness I
found myself back in my body and I just wrote
the Holding Office drug and Douce psychosis. I kind of
sat up, shook my head. I was like, damn, I
was so high. I thought I was talking to God.
That was crazy. And I just went about my life
doing the same thing I'd always been doing.
Speaker 1: So all right, before we continue down that road, when
you were when you were up there with the spirit
guys that you don't trust, and you're like, audi, uh,
I'd love your storytelling ability with this is awesome. And
only someone of our generations kind of understand a lot
of the things that you're saying, which is awesome. When
you were up in that room with the cheap the
production value was not good up there. Apparently the budget
budgetary cuts up on.
Speaker 2: The other side, using so much for the storyline. They
can't be they can't be like.
Speaker 1: Let's just unfold this. She's coming. Oh God, like you
see that, you see the like being bringing out the plant?
All right? Did we get this one at costco? Okay, great,
let's that's awesome. When you were up there, did you so,
there's no talking, so it's it's all telepathy essentially, right,
And the thing I've heard so many different times, not
only from near death experiences but from mystics, from yogi's
and things like that. Is that there's an understanding that
you just know what's happening without anyone telling you, Like
you're like I call it kind of like you're tapped
into the cloud, no pun intended. You're kind of tapped
into the cloud. You just have all information all the time,
and when something's in front of you, you just, oh,
that's Uncle Bob, and Bob's here to help me walk
through this or something like that. Is that how it was?
Speaker 2: Definitely everything was innate knowing, because I'm not smart enough
to put all that together, So it definitely was innate knowing.
At this time, my brain capacity was super tiny, so
it was all a very innate knowing and no need
to question. It was the other part of it, like
I knew those I knew the beings of Light were
in charge. I didn't have to question why or who
or how or anything like that. These were just all
things that I had massive acceptance around.
Speaker 1: So these were basically your counsel. Yeah, it sounds like
this from what I say, it's kind of like your
council of Light. It's your elders, Council of elders. Yes,
they're the ones that kind of your spare guides who
kind of put together your your journey to go down
and elevate your consciousness and stuff, which is not easy, right,
So that's who these guys were. Yeah, it sounds like
that's it's not when they're not the everybody's They seemed
like they were yours. Yes, because they're talking to you
very much like they were like every time you come.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, they were very funny for sure.
Speaker 1: Did you so, did you see any relatives? You only
heard relatives.
Speaker 2: My father's essence was definitely there with me, and like
I said, I felt like every masculine energy. So all
the other men in my family that had passed away,
they kind of all morphed into it. I had a
boyfriend who had passed away a couple of years before
my experience. He was there, and so all of these
things kind of just gelled into this divine masculine energy.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. So it's not because for us we have
to have like these individual kind of things, but it's
the collective speaking through one is a very divine thing.
Like when angels like all you know, we're when I
have channelers come on, they're like, we have twenty angels
here who shall not be named, but we all speak
as one similar right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the law of oneness is real, like we're one,
everything is one.
Speaker 1: It makes sense. It makes logical sense to me. Okay,
so you come back down and you're like, that was funky,
thought I talk to God. Okay, well go get high again,
Like essentially, was that what it is? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Well. The first thing I did was I
went on Instagram and I was like, guys, I just died.
It was crazy. I still have a video.
Speaker 1: It's nuts, that's amazing.
Speaker 2: But I did just think that it was drug induced psychosis.
I had never heard of any of these things before.
I had never heard of spiritual awakening. I had never
heard of kundalini. I didn't even know how to say
that word. For years, I didn't I'd never heard of
a near death experience. So I didn't think that any
of this was real. In fact, I thought that I
had just actually died and that I wasn't deserving enough
to actually cross over. And so for months after my experience,
I just lived with reckless abandon I mean, I was
already living quite recklessly. But the two months in between
when I until I realized that it was a real experience,
I was just completely off the handles, totally insane. Oh yeah,
I was nuts, totally nuts.
Speaker 1: And did you ever come close again in those two
months back? No? No, you didn't go that far out.
Speaker 2: You know, I had overdosed in my life before, and
I never had a spiritual experience. This particular one was
my I mean I was planned.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, this was your Do you believe that this
was one of your exit exit strategies for your life?
Because from what I understand on your soul plan or
your and your blueprint in the highway of life, there's
these off ramps that you've put in to go, Okay,
you're gonna need a reminder here and you're gonna have
a choice. Do you want to come back or do
you want to go go to another life or something
like that? Is that what that was?
Speaker 2: Well I did not have a choice, No, But that
was a moment for you to so for me, this
is the way that I understand it. There's three things.
Pre Birth planning is about major plot points. Right, I
haven't planned every bowel movement. I don't know every stranger.
I'm counted on the subway.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the imagery, But.
Speaker 2: I have planned major plot points. Three of my major
plot points are addiction, recovery, spiritual awakening.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: Now, I had lots of opportunities to let go of
the lesson of addiction and step into recovery and spiritual awakening.
First time I ever went to rehab, I was eighteen
years old. I could have just decided to get clean.
Then I would have been in recovery learning that lesson,
had a spiritual awakening as a result of practicing the
twelve Steps, because that's the promise of the Twelfth Step
and Twelve Step Fellowship, and my life would have looked
much different. This was my end timeline, no points left.
All of my lessons compounded on top of each other.
Now you will experience addiction, recovery, spiritual awakening all in
the same moment because you kept ignoring the internal GPS
that was telling you to make a U turn and
stop moving the car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it starts with a tap on the shoulder,
a whisper, and then it's a sledgehammer.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, the bucket of spiritual bricks that was dumped
on my head. Brutal, brutal, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: All right. So after so during those two months of
goallin chrisee eight, Yeah, when you look, what was the
moment that you just said.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, There was a couple of different moments. One
of the main ones was that the universe was removing
people from my life. So I had a bunch of dealers,
like a laundry list of them, maybe ten different guys,
and I would call one up. I'd be like, hey,
I want to pick up Can I meet you? And
he's like, listen, lose my number. I found Jesus, I
want to be a good father. I'm out of the game.
Click blocked. I'm like, okay, that's weird. Call it the
next guy on the list, same exact story, Jesus. But
these guys didn't know each other. I'm like, where has
Jesus been hiding? How are all of these men finding Jesus?
What's going on? I'm talking to called ten different guys,
and every single one of them told me to lose
their number, and they blocked me and I so now
I'm desperate because I have a physical dependency to opiates,
and so I need to get my I need to
get what I need otherwise I'm going to get via ill.
So I'm like running around New York City. Obviously there's
places to buy substances everywhere, and I'm doing what I
have to do. Every time I get something, it's fake,
it's bunk, it doesn't work like every you know, I'm
at my end. So now I start going through withdrawals
and it's agonizing. And I'd been through withdrawals dozens of
times in my life before. But like you said, right
thirty five, no Spring Chicken. Now I'm really feeling it,
and I have this moment of just I need to
end this. I need to end this pain. There's no
way to get through this. I was on day three
of withdrawal, and it was like I was sick all
over myself. My skin felt like it was made of
broken glass, my bones were made of campfire logs, my
blood was lava like. Everything hurt on me, everything hurt,
and I just thought, I can't do this. I know
exactly what my parents were going through. I cannot do this.
And then I heard this voice and I told me
that I could request what I wanted fixed, and I
was in the throes of desperation, so I was like, okay,
a strange voice, take this away. I want to no
longer be physically sick. And they told me to close
my eyes and count backwards from ten. And as I did,
these two little men appeared in my mind's eye, and
they were wearing white lab coats and they had these
bulbous noses. I see them every time I tell the story.
They're like, hey, we're still here. And they had these
little lawnmowers that manifested in front of them, and so
they're kind of like hopping up and down with the
motion of the lawnmower. And then they take off in
separate directions and they start walking through every crevice of
my mind. And as they're plowing through the crevices of
my mind, I feel these intense hot tingles start to
take over the whole crown of my head. And when
they were finished, it felt like somebody drew x's across
my forehead and a plunger went onto the crown of
my head, and as it plunged down and came back up,
there was this bright white flash and in that moment
I was instantaneous healed out of day three of heroin withdrawal.
I mean moments before I was sick all over myself,
welcoming death. And then there I was completely well and
healed and fine, and I threw myself out of the
bed and onto the ground. I'm on my knees. I'm
crying out to a God that I do not believe in,
and I'm saying, how could this be happening. I don't
believe in this, I don't believe in you. You could
not have picked a more unworthy subject to bestow this
kind of grace on and again. For the contrast, at
this point in time, I'm a radical atheist, I'm a
oh yeah, I'm a drug addict. I'm an orphan to suicide.
I'm a hire manipulator, thief, I'm an abuser, I'm a
person who traumatizes others. This is the person that has
been bestowed with instantaneous healing. And then all of a sudden,
I start hearing this message because I keep telling and
affirming I'm not worthy of this, I'm not worthy of this,
and they say to me, but you're worthy of all
the love in the universe. You're worthy of all the
love in the universe. And so after that, I thought
I was the second coming of Christ. Obviously, So I
start running around and streets to New York City. On
the New York City subway system. I'm proselytizing. I'm evangelizing.
I'm telling people about a God that I have gone
to the other side, all the way, all the way
to the other side.
Speaker 1: I don't believe it in anything. I am now Jesus.
Speaker 2: I am now Jesus.
Speaker 1: I thought it as as they say in our generation,
are you crazy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was. I was too gu bananas. I
was really out of control. So I'm on the New
York City subway system. I'm laying hands on homeless drug addicts. No, yes,
I am all the way.
Speaker 1: I'm in, I'm in laying hands. Yes, Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, Okay, it was wild. I was. Yeah, it was wild.
So one day I'm sitting on the train. The whole
train car is empty, but it's the middle of the day,
which is bizarre in New York City.
Speaker 1: It's extremely bizarre.
Speaker 2: Nine million people there. I was nobody in this train car.
So the door is open and a man steps in
and he sits directly across from me, even though the
whole train car was empty, and around his neck was
a gigantic blinged out twelve Step Fellowship necklace, the emblem
for the twelve Step Fellowship that I'm a part.
Speaker 1: Of the twelve Is that a right?
Speaker 2: We don't promote, so we don't say what it is.
But I'm in the other one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, got it, guy Layman?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, So he's got this big, blinged out necklace.
I hear a voice in my head. It says, that's
your path. Follow him to a meeting. And so I
asked this strange man on the train, everybody else on
the train, are you going to a meeting by any chance?
And he says, yeah, do you want to come with me?
And that was the beginning of my recovery journey. And
I went with this strange man. I followed him to
a meeting, and they told me that I had to
keep making meetings every day, that this was going to
be my new thing. Instead of using every day, I
was going to make meetings every day. So the next day,
go to another meeting. And I didn't look the way
that I look now when all of this was happening,
when all of this was happening. I was missing most
of my teeth, so thankful for spiritual awakening allowed me
to buy some teeth in my life. I was super skinny,
my skin was gray, my eyes were dead. I had
these huge holes all over my face in my arms
because every time that I got high, I thought that
bugs lived inside of me, and so I would cut
myself open with razor blades and burn myself with torches
trying to get the bugs out of me. So I
walk into this meeting and it was a women's meeting,
and I look destroyed. It's painfully obvious that I'm new.
And this woman grabs me as soon as I walk in,
and she held me so tight, and I hadn't been
hugged in a loving way in a really long time,
and so I felt really uncomfortable. And then she leaned
in and she whispered in my ear and she said,
you are worthy of all the love of the universe.
You are worthy of all love of the universe.
Speaker 1: Oh my God.
Speaker 2: And that was my deepest moment of surrender. That was it.
I melted into that woman. I cried a super ugly,
deep wailing. I rested my head on her big boobies
for as long as she would let me, and I
truly surrendered, and I didn't feel worthy of all love
in the universe, but I had a little sliver of
hope maybe I'm worth more than what's going on in
my life right now. And so the next day after that,
I went to another meeting and it was a huge meeting.
There was like eighty people in there, and I swear
to God, it was like the Truman Show, like everybody
was sharing directly to me. They didn't, they mean, they weren't,
they didn't even know I was there, but it felt
like every share was a message from God to my ears.
And then I realized that there was a woman in there,
and she was the program director of a long term
rehab a women's facility. And so the whole meeting, my
internal guidance is saying, you have to ask her for help.
You have to ask her for help, and my ego
is coming in and saying like, nah, you're not built
that way. You can't ask people for help, like just
forget about it. And so I'm having this internal wrestling
match going on between my spirit and my ego, and
so I finally get my courage up the meeting ends,
and I walk over where this woman is and I
was like, I'm going to live a new life, and
she's gonna help me do it. I know it. And
I walk over to where she is and she's gone.
She left early, and I felt totally defeated and deflated,
and so with my head hanging, I walked to the
bus to go home. And when I stepped onto the bus,
that woman was sitting right there.
Speaker 1: Oh my okay, she left.
Speaker 2: The meeting early and was somehow on the exact same
buses me and I ran after her, totally manic, and
I was like, oh my god, I think that you're
an angel. You're sent, You're center my heaven. You're here
on earth. You're here only to help me. I can't believe.
I want to talk to you, and I can't talk
to you and there because you're here and this says
not I can't believe it. Oh my god, will you
help me please? I think that you're supposed.
Speaker 1: To help me. Wow, coming in hot? Oh yeah, coming
in hot? Are you?
Speaker 2: She looked at me so calm like and like she
had been waiting there for me her whole life.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word, from our sponsor
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: And she said, yeah, we can help you. We have
a bed, come by tomorrow. And that sentence changed my
whole life. And I did go there the very next
day with just the clothes on my back. I didn't
have anything to take. My most prized possession was a
two hundred dollars vibrator. I didn't have a lot going
for me. I figured if I could leave that behind,
I could do anything, and so I did. I left
the behind and I started my spiritual journey.
Speaker 1: Huh. And as one does, you don't bring those along
spiritual journey. It's counterproductive.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And I went into this all women's facility
and that's where my integration started to take place. I
didn't know what happened to me. And it was a
long term program. I was in there for seventeen months. Wow. Yeah.
And despite what some men might think, it's not sexy
pajama parties and pillow fights and an all women's drug rehab.
It's brutal. Okay, it was hardcore hardcore, Oh god. Yeah.
And I got to see all my trauma mirrored back
to me and I got to see all of my
own defects of character and way that I behaved in
relationships with other people. And I learned a lot so much.
I didn't have access to a cell phone or the
internet for all that time, so I had to learn
things out of books. It was totally archaic. I was like, I, now,
have you heard book ridiculous? So they would let us
go to the library once a week and I would
just run over to the section on religion and spirituality,
and I had this insatiable thirst for knowledge. My brain
capacity before my experience very limited. Okay, the only vocabulary
that I had was this long laundry list of substances
that I used and how much money it costs to
be with me. I didn't have space in my head
for any other thoughts because there was no need for
any other thoughts. So now my awareness has blasted open,
and I want to fill it with spirituality. I want
to figure out what's the meaning of life? Tell me
everything about quantum mechanics, let me learn. So I start
grabbing all these books off of this one small section
in the library. And one I went into the library
and there was a book and it looked like it
was sparkling. I could see it in the distance. It
almost like I was about to fall off the shelf,
and all I could see was the word miracles on
the side, and I was like, miracles. I like miracles.
I'm a miracle. And I got a little bit closer.
And then the book was called A Course in Miracles
Made Easy by Alan Cohen and oh yeah. And I
devoured that book. I would have actually physically ate it
if I could have. I couldn't stop myself. And I
didn't understand really who the author of A Course in
Miracles was, and so I kept going to the library
and asking the library and to help me, and she
was like, girl, this book does not exist. Please stop,
we can't you can't rent it here. And I'm like,
I need it. I need this book. And so I
just started reading a bunch of books about a Course
in Miracles. And then one day when I was going
back to the facility, the clinical director was checking my bag,
like for contraband when you come back and get your
bag checked, and she saw I had five books about
a Course in Miracles in my bag and she said, oh,
you know, I have a copy of the course. I
bought it in the seventies. Didn't understand it. It's been
sitting on my bookshelf for all these years. Do you
want to borrow it? And I was like, yes, I
absolutely do. And so while I was in treatment for
those seventeen months, I read a course in miracles, and
I also read every other spiritual text that I could
get my hands on, and I designed my spirituality around
these beautiful spiritual principles. I got the cherry pick the
things that I liked out of each teaching and developed
my own sense of spirituality.
Speaker 1: Like a spiritual cafeteria.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, a little shmortgage board.
Speaker 1: Pulling things out. You said something was really interesting to me,
your ego that's not talked about a whole lot with
near death experiences, the ego especially because you had to.
I mean, your story so intense. So generally other people
are like, you know, I was in the wrong path
and then I died and then I found good God
and I was cool. Yours was so much more intense.
The rain is so much more that your ego had
built thirty five years of this is who I am.
And then after you started laying hands on homeless people,
which was also the ego by the way, going yeah,
oh we're Jesus. Now I can get behind this.
Speaker 2: Let's do this.
Speaker 1: How did you deal with that inner struggle, that inner fight?
Because your ego sounds like it was an intense presence
after thirty five years of addiction and all the trauma
you dealt with. That it's there to protect you. It's
there to do things, because that's all it knows. Your
ego's there always to protect you. Sometimes it goes a
little overboard, but generally speaking, it's built to do that.
How did you kind of overcome that to become who
you are right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and ego is like such a buzzword, right.
So I also study Young in philosophy, and in that,
you know, Young talks about all these different stages that
we have as we come to Earth. Right, So there's
the stage of the masks, like that's my early childhood,
my teenage years. Then my shadow came in. My shadow
really took charge, especially after my parents' death. That was
the part of me. So like my shadow, my ego,
all these words are really interchangeable. Something not my spirit, right,
something not my highest self. And then the other part
of that is coming into the anima and the animas
the divine feminine, divine, masculine in young in philosophy, and
then circling back up to the highest self with the
capital S. So for me, my shadow was my main
personality point my whole life. And it's not like my
shadow disappears because I had some kind of spiritual experience.
My shadow is my main protector. It's all that I've
ever known. So I have to learn how to give
it a new role. I have to give it a
new job because it's not going to go away. It
exists within me, and I'm not a murderer. I can't
kill it, so I just have to learn how to
give it a new role. So there's a lot of
things that make up my shadow. For me, my addiction
is one of the main parts of it. So what
I like to do is I do's character development around
my shadow pieces. So my addiction has his own name
and shape and face. He's a man, he's a gay man.
His name's Richard. He thinks he's so fun and fabulous,
but he's a mess. So Richard lives inside of a
glasshouse inside my mind, and he kind of puts his
mouth up to the creases of the house and he'll
scream let's have a drink, let's have some fun. And
I'm like, no, Richard, we don't drink anymore. And you know,
I have to like have my highest self come in
and offer him compassion, because again, I can't kill him.
If I ignore him, he'll just get louder and louder
and louder. And so I do all of this work
to compartmentalize myself so that I can see which part
of me is trying to communicate, which part is trying
to protect me. Why does it think it needs to
protect me? So you know, even my addiction splintered off
into other addictions, right, Like I let go of substances,
and then all of my eating disorders came to the surface.
And then I start to get my eating disorders under control,
and then porn and masturbating addiction comes up, and then
codependency and then limerens person obsession, Oh, that one's my favorite.
I love getting obsessed with people who don't know that
I exist. Right, And so there's this whole array of
thing that's going on. My inner saboteur, my inner controller,
my inner critic, like all of this stuff is going
on inside of my world and my spirit wants to
experience all of it, because without that contrast, I don't
know how great it is to remember who I actually am.
If I don't have my addiction running the show for
so many years in my life, how can I appreciate
God the way that I do today. I mean, maybe
I could have, but I wouldn't give my story back
for anything. I mean lots of twists and turns, lots
of trauma, but now it's all centered in triumph. You know,
like the ability to overcome. The human spirit is so resilient,
and I know that if that's accessible to me, it's
accessible to.
Speaker 1: Every for you one, And that's the beautiful thing about
your story Aboutty, is that you know you are an
extreme story. There's no question. Spanish Spanish novella who is
on some substances, the Spanish novella writer who's doing stuff,
There's no question. So you have such an intense story.
And this, this concept of worthiness is so powerful because
most of us don't believe we're worthy of anything, let
alone love, let alone success, let alone you know, a
good partner, anything like that. So I've seen that that
is a common thread. It was for me for a
long time. I still struggle with it. You know, I
still struggle doing the show. I'm like, really me like,
I like, I still the programming is very ingrained in that.
And I didn't have a tremendous amount of abuse when
I was a kid or anything like that that that
caused that. But but to overcome to overcome that in
your life, and you are a shining example of that
for people who were like and not to say this
in a bad way, like, well, she like you said it,
if she could do it, you know, I mean I
had a tough situation. But jeez man, Yeah, you're like
a not even a cautionary tale, because it's not a
cautionary tale. It's an example of what could happen, what
you could become, kind of like and don't take this
the wrong way, Jesus, please don't lay hands on me,
But the way Jesus was an example of all of us,
or any of these ascended masters were examples of what
we can become. We are all capable of it, but
not all of them went the road you went on.
And it's a shining example of what a soul can
do in this life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, we are meant to transform.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that I was. I thought that I
was meant to be an earth dwelling caterpillar my whole life,
just this little dirty grub running through the mud. I
didn't even know that you can become a butterfly. And
I often think this about actual caterpillars. Do they know?
Do they know what they're going to be one day?
Are they meant to know? Is it supposed to be
a surprise? Because my transformation journey, my metamorphosis, has been
the most exciting thing in my life. And it continues,
it continues. I'm not done. I'm ever evolving, and I
have backslides. I'm not saying that like I'm perfect. I've
never used substances again, thank God. But like I said,
I have other behaviors and I'm not trying to pretend
like I'm perfect. You know, I I'm only trying to
be I'm not trying to be better than anybody else.
I'm only trying to be better than who I used
to be, and every day I have an opportunity to
do that.
Speaker 1: That's very, very powerful. After this whole experience, Well, let
me ask you, did you because a lot of people
have near death experiences bring back some sort of abilities
or powers. And obviously you believe that for a moment
there the subway, But did anything else during this awakening
open up other things? You know, I'm not saying you
see dead people, but is there anything else that you
kind of had to deal with?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So when I first had the awakening, I had
this ability to see people's energy, especially when they were lying,
like aura Like, I would see these spirals come out
of people's ears when they were telling a lie.
Speaker 1: That's very handy. Oh yeah, super handy.
Speaker 2: Right, except that I was going up to strangers on
the street and I'm like, your husband's lying to you.
He's gay. You should divorce him and take your baby,
Like why not? A great parl You're not to please
stop doing this. And then after that I started to
understand that I have the to be I was able
to practice the art a bibliomancy, which is where you
open up a book to a random page and it
feels like it speaks directly to you because it is
speaking directly to you. There's a word for it. Yes,
So I went to Walgreens after my experience and I
stole a Bible because I wanted to learn about God,
and I was a thief. I probably could have went
to a church and just asked for you stop for
a second.
Speaker 1: I want everyone to understand this scenario. I want to
learn about God, so I'm going to steal a Bible,
the book that is given freely in every hotel. You
could just walk by a church and ask for a
Bible and they will give it to you. You still
that's where you.
Speaker 2: Were, Yes, but you know what, I really a God
and I.
Speaker 1: Want to but I can't afford a Bible right, and
didn't think to ask for it.
Speaker 2: And it was so weird because there was a display
in the Walgreens of bibles. I've never seen that since
I've never seen that in what state? This is in
New York, New York?
Speaker 1: Bibles like in a Walgreens in New York. Not a Bible.
Speaker 2: I'm it was there for me to steal one, obviously.
So I opened up the Bible too, to a random page,
and the verse that came up was why worry about
a speck in your brother's eye when there's a log
in your own? So here I am. I'm trying to
lay hands on homeless drug addicts. When I got I
gotta lay those hands on myself. Okay, I gotta heal
some stuff in me, So that that part really stuck out.
Another verse that stuck out to me was I'm not
gonna be able to quote it verbatim, but something about
the birds don't want for anything, right, like, you don't
have to worry about shelter or food or clothing. God's
got you. I didn't believe that, but I kept opening
up the Bible to that page and I was like maybe.
And then I found myself in that long term rehab
where I was clothed, I was fed, I had shelter,
and I just had a place to learn. I didn't
have to worry about rent or bills or working or anything.
I just had space to sit and learn. And that's
what I use that time for. But so those were
my gifts that I came back with. I also had
a little bit of synthesthesia, where all of my senses
were intertwined, so I could taste music like I could,
you know, I could see people's energy and everything was
kind of mixed up. But I asked to have all
of that taken away because I was like, this is
this is wacky, this is nuts.
Speaker 1: I can't I can't deal.
Speaker 2: I can't go from zero to infinity. I need something
in between. How am I supposed to be a human?
Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't want to know what? You can't
touch this taste, Like, I just really don't need that
in my life right now. It's interesting that you say that,
you like, I don't want any of this because I
have enough to do, let alone, to handle the pressure
of these abilities. And I know a lot of psychic
mediums and stuff they just they just put it away
because they can't. It's too much.
Speaker 2: It is a lot. And you know, my gifts show
up in different ways today. So I'm a master manifestor. Hello,
I manifested this experience, and I I use a law
of attraction in my healing practice. And I'm able to
do that with the people that I get to work
with as well. Utilize the law of attraction, teach people
about it in a really digestible way. Again, like if
a homeless junkie can do this, you probably can too,
you know. And and you know, another one of my
gifts is bringing people together in community. Oh my god,
I love that being able to shepherd people to communities
to help them heal, or to make them feel accepted,
or to integrate an experience. So that's how my spiritual
gifts show up today.
Speaker 1: All of the stuff that you went through in those
first thirty five years, like in my own life, I
mean all the stuff that I went through in my
life in the film industry and all that kind of stuff.
I only recently discovered that it was prepping me for
what I'm doing now. I was very angry about that
when I was going through it. I'm assuming as you were,
but it prepped me for everything I'm doing right now.
Obviously your experience has prepped you for what you're doing.
But is there anything specific, any skills like you just
said community, Like, was there a moment in those thirty
five years you like, I love gatherings, Let's put some
people together.
Speaker 2: Only like stuff.
Speaker 1: You are the most fascinating your death experience I've ever seen,
I have to tell you, at least the most fun.
This has been a heck of a story, and I
feel like I've gone through this win.
Speaker 2: I'm glad. I'm glad, really, But it.
Speaker 1: Was there anything that you brought in like those skills? Like,
you know, as a junkie, I was able to do this,
this and this, and now it's really helping me in
this part of my life.
Speaker 2: I probably never said this on a podcast before, but honestly,
like being involved in sex work actually made me understand
human nature a lot. I mean, it really does. You know,
like people are innately hurt and wounded and they just
want somebody to talk to. It was like way less.
I mean, I was a hot mess, so it wasn't
even about that, you know. It was just like people
just want somebody to trust, to confide in. And it
really did set me up for being able to assist
people on their healing journeys today. I work with people
as a transformation coach, and it's really about holding space
and that's really all that people need. They just need
a little bit of inspiration and an understanding just compassion.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: But other than that, you know, really the foreshadowing from
my origin story is that I have dealt with the loss,
the intentional loss of my parents. I've been able to
assist people through similar loss like that, I have been
immersed in my own addiction. My whole job today is
self disclosure. I don't just work as a transformation coach.
I have a day job too, and I get to
work in the field. I have substance use disorder recovery,
and so I get to self disclose and I don't
share all of this, like they don't know that I
had on your death experience or anything. But I say, hey,
I overcame and if I can do it, you can too.
And that's a job that they pay me a salary
for what. That's crazier.
Speaker 1: You're the bird, right, You're the bird. Everything's taken care of, Yody.
It's all those all has all fallen into place. It's
all fallen into place. Did you when you when you
had your whole awakening and during these seventeen months when
you came back out it doesn't I always ask like,
what you know? Did you come out of the closet?
When did you start talking about this? When did you
start talking about it? Was there any apprehension about it?
Because it doesn't sound like you had a group of
friends that you were hanging on to, or even family
or anything like that that you were holding on to
a lot that you would be ashamed about say about
talking about near death experience. At this point that seems
in this storyline doesn't seem that out of whack. So
was there a moment that you came out of that
closet and start talking about it publicly on like shows
and everything?
Speaker 2: You're doing so well? I did share about it on
Instagram the next day, I was like, y'all did. But
after that, when I started to say the comprehensive story
that's come after years of integrating. The first time that
I spoke about it was through IONS, the International Association
for Near Death Studies, which I actually I work part
time for them today. You know, I had all of
this invisible help around me. I was constantly channeling archangels,
and I had all my spirit guides. My father's my
number one guide. He's always with me. I had conceptualized
a whole team, but none of them were actual physical people,
and I begged them when I left treatment, I said, please,
you have to manifest into physical people for me, because
I can't just live my life talking out into the air.
I need to have physical interaction. I'm here to be human.
And I had found all of these great spiritual communities.
I have of course in miracles community. I study the
Bahai faith. I belonged to a twelve step fellowship, but
I was missing this one part about this spiritual experience,
which I still actually didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
And now back to the show.
Speaker 2: And I was watching Netflix and the Surviving Death docuseries
popped up, and the first episodes about in your death experiences,
and I heard doctor Mary Neil share about her experience
and I was floored and I couldn't believe it. I said,
oh my god, that's what happened to me. And they
were at an Iron's conference in the episode, and so
I googled it and I found out that they had
sharing groups online, and so I went into these sharing
groups and I listened to these people talk, and they
had all this language, and they were sharing their stories
so comprehensively, and I thought, could that ever be me?
Am I ever going to be able to share this
story and have it make sense? And then people were
saying that they had their experiences twenty years ago, and
I would come off me and be like, you're still
not back in heaven? Wait are you saying that I
have to stay here for twenty more years? Because I
just thought The whole thing was to get back to Heaven.
So every time that I reached a milestone, I would
cry out to God, Hey, God, I haven't used drugs
in one year. Are you coming back to get me yet?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Is the space ship coming? Like what's happening? I'm still here?
And you know, through that community, I realized that it's
not about going back to Heaven, it's about bringing Heaven here.
And so every day I have an opportunity to do
that in connection with other people, that feels like Heaven
to me.
Speaker 1: Do you fear death anymore?
Speaker 2: Definitely not. I won't say that I welcome it, but
whenever you're ready.
Speaker 1: As I always say, everyone wants to go to heaven,
but just not right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, I'm actually really enjoying my Earth experience
today because I've come out on the other side of it.
Speaker 1: This is the fun part. Yes, they said, just like.
Speaker 2: They said, Like they said, I didn't trust them, but
I do now, and I would even come back to Earth.
Most experiences say that they will never come back here,
but at this point in my life, I am enjoying
it so much. I would definitely come back here again.
Speaker 1: Can't. So just I want to dig into that just
for a second, so I wouldn't want to come back
here is the definition. And I know a lot of
people listening right now, I'm definitely not coming back here
because I've gone through this, this, this, and this. Hopefully
this story kind of shines a light on their own
experience and going, well, if she went through all of that,
which is an extreme. But on this other side, as
the soul, when you saw the pre birthing, the pre
birth experience, and you were in the spiritual supermarket supermarket sweeps,
such a generational like your supermarket sweeps and you're pulling
out the cereal boxes full of experiences, there seemed to
be a sense of giddiness on the other side, like,
oh my god, I'm going on a rod. It's kind
of like right before you go on a ride at
Disney World, like you like you've never been on Space
Mountain or you've never been on you know, Tron or
something like that, and you're about to go on and
there's that anticipation like I can't wait to see what's
going to happen in this ride, which from a soul's
perspective makes all the sense in the world. But from
this perspective, You're like, why would I want to go
through what you went through? Why would I want to
do that? So can you explain to people the feeling
of it's such a gift to come down here and
to experience contrast. That's the big thing, is experience contrast
because some people, you know, everyone everyone, No one gets
out of here without some scarring, some shrapnel, every human
being because we come That's just the nature of this reality.
It's going to be a tough fight. Generally speaking. Even
if you're born into a billionaire family and all, you're
still going to have some stuff to have to deal
with something, no matter what you might if you're in
a billionaire you might show up in a nicer style
suit and car, but you're still going to be dealing
with some crap. So can you explain to people why
you would want to not do it once for potentially
thousands of times? And we are only talking about Earth.
Let's not even discuss the rest of this universe, which
is fairly large and other experiences that are not Earth.
But I hear that this is one of the tougher ones.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Heaven is boring, Okay, It says Snoozeville. There's
only one thing happening. It's unconditional love, which is cool,
I guess, but like, how can you appreciate love unless
you understand suffering, unless you understand duality. So I really
honestly think that we're all totally jaded up there in heaven.
We're like God, the Father whatever, Like I'm.
Speaker 1: So over this, Like you're a valley girl from the say.
Speaker 2: That's how I see myself and I have like long
as if God. Yeah, like my heavenly Father is so annoying.
He's like all over me with his love. Yuck. So
down to earth and see what's going on down there.
I heard that place is a dumpster fire. Let's do it.
Speaker 1: Let's do this, Let's do this. New York that sounds fun.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, living in New York is The's
an amazing part of my human experience because I can
experience a wide range of things in one city block.
I can watch a homeless person defecating, a millionaire coming
out of a Porsche, a family pushing their new baby
in a stroller, all in the same block. It's incredible.
Chinese feet, yes, yes it is. It's insane, and you know,
for me, it really helps me to keep in mind
that I'm inside of a dream and that everybody has
autonomy inside the stream, and that's where the pre birth
planning thing really comes into play for me. You know,
maybe I want to go out and fix, manage and
control and fix the outcome to everything going on. But
I don't know what that person's soul's plan is. Maybe
it's their plan to be in that place right now.
Maybe they're not meant for transformation in this moment. It's
not up to me to decide. I'm not the decider
of those things. This is not my dream. This is
a collective dream that we're having. So I think that
when it comes to experience ceriencing the duel of everything,
you know, it's just it's for fun. It's supposed to
be fun. Now, when challenging things happened to me, I
just kind of laugh at my team and I'm like,
didn't I already learn enough lessons? Can I just have
like this super easy part of the game now, Like
I don't want to learn anything challenging anymore.
Speaker 1: And they're going, no, no, no, you got a little
bit left. If not, why are you here? Right? But
it's It's interesting that, like your life, the first part
of it was extremely difficult and this now next chapter
of it, you know, is a dream.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 1: It worked, it took work to get there, but it
was a dream.
Speaker 2: Now it is. And you know what, I'll just share
this success is very uncomfortable for me, and my inner
saboteur comes in to protect me. And you know, it
came up with like sugar addiction, I haven't had. I
haven't eaten sugar in a year and a half, go me,
But that was a way that I was sedating myself
through the success of this journey, like finding a wonderful partner,
getting a career, speaking places, connecting with conscious community, all
of my dreams coming to fruition. My internal world is
like no girl, like failure, rejection, we know that, Like
we're very comfortable there, success, joy, elation, We don't know
those things. This is all really uncomfortable and weird, and
you know, like we grow inside of the discomfort of life.
And so for me getting to this point in my life,
it's not like, Yay, everything's awesome, Like I still have
a lot of patterns that are you know, in the
process of being reprogrammed. I have to be really vigilant
about my spiritual practices to make sure that I'm connected
while all of us is going.
Speaker 1: On, because it sounds like you're you could have easily
self sabotaged, and you probably did.
Speaker 2: Oh I have absolutely Yeah when success started coming in, Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1: That's why a lot of the people who in lotteries they.
Speaker 2: Don't write, they really can't handle that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if they've never had that kind of energy in.
Speaker 2: Their life, because like for me, it was zero to
one hundred. There was no like slow gradual coming into this.
It was like a sleep violently awake, like alarm clocks blaring,
buckets of ice water being thrown on your head. It
was a lot and so there was no space for
me to ease into what success looks like or what
joy looks like.
Speaker 1: Can you talk to the people watching right now who
are losing someone or about to lose someone from old
age disease something like that, or have lost someone and
they were maybe in the atheist camp or didn't have
a strong belief or you'd think, I just want to
make sure that Grandma Nana is Nana's going to be
okay kind of thing. Because if people fine and you
know this. When people look for these kind of shows,
in these kind of episodes, it's because they're looking for answers.
They want to make sure that their loved ones are okay,
and so it's a message to them, but also to
people maybe someone who is going through the death process
right now and is concerned, like like I forgot someone
you said that that was scared about what was going
to be on the other side. What do you think?
What would that be a message for me?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, maybe I'll take away my Heaven is boring
statement and just to go there.
Speaker 1: I mean it's super cool, it's really cool, but I mean,
how long where can I find good Chinese food up there?
Speaker 2: It's not I mean, heaven is beautiful. The sense of
reunion that was what I felt in the light, not
home like where all your stuff is, Like there's no
words to describe this sense of reunion and bliss and
joy and connection and safety like so unbelievably safe. It's
a beautiful place. And I do believe that we all
go there, like there is no such thing as condemnation.
If I made it there, everybody's making it there. But
I also don't think that that's like a ask to get
out of the Earth experience. You're here to learn things,
and if you don't learn your lessons, I believe that
you just come back and you have those classes that
you still have to take.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: So, you know, I think that there's so much there's
so much hope. There is definitely life after life. I
absolutely know that with one hundred percent certainty. But Earth
is actually really cool too. I find that, you know,
I host a podcast for ions and a lot of
people who listen to the podcast that are maybe contemplating
leaving Earth on their own exit point. And you know,
this is not Again, I don't believe in condemnation, but
I also don't believe that you get to just like
drop out of college and like don't get your degree.
Speaker 1: You know you're going back in.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, you have to finish. You never like signed
up on this one, exactly, you gotta go.
Speaker 1: You signed up for the PhD. Yes.
Speaker 2: I when I first came into spiritual awareness, I would
hear people say Earth is the most advanced, It's the
Ivy League of all the spiritual schools, And I was like,
is it or is it the place for bad kids
and pregnant teenagers because I'm sorry, I think maybe maybe
I'm in bad school.
Speaker 1: Well, if you go on social media, definitely, yeah, there's
no question, but so go ahead.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just I want to say that there is
a lot of hope. So if you're getting ready to
cross over, or you've recently lost someone there with you,
you have access to them. Like I said, my dad
is my number one spirit guide. He's always with me,
and I have that innate knowing and that's not individual
to just me. We can all access our loved ones
ask them for a sign. I wasn't sure if I
was going crazy, if I was schizophrenic, or if I
was actually having these spiritual experiences. And I felt my
dad so closely to me, and I said, Dad, listen,
I think I'm losing my mind. If it's really you,
send me a sign. And the first image that popped
into my head with a fox said okay, Dad, send
me a fox if it's you. The next day, I
went to TJ Max and you know that story. It's
like a bomb went off in there. It's like God
Marshall's Ross forks in the underwear section. There's shoes in
the home. It's like it's nuts and there. It's totally chaotic.
Your eyes can't focus on one thing because there's just
so much going on right And so I'm in line
with my arms full of garbage that I don't need,
getting ready to pay for it. And on the end
cap where all the discarded items are, there's a book
and it says amazing Dads, and there was a picture
of a daddy fox and a baby fox, and I
just knew that was him, and that was the confirmation
that I needed. So I would say that if you
just recently lost somebody, ask them for a sign, and
I look forward to hearing the cool story about how
that sign came to fruition, because it definitely will.
Speaker 1: When you were saying that story, and at the end
of the line, I'm like, is it a display of Bibles?
And did you steal an another one?
Speaker 2: Not hilarious, So let me ask I'm gonna ask you
a few questions.
Speaker 1: Ask all my guests, what is your definition of living
a fulfilled life?
Speaker 2: Living a fulfilled life is just about experience. It means
all the experience, good, bad, and indifferent. I want to
experience all of it that is fulfilling to me. And
being of service. Oh my god, I'm a service junkie.
Now that's my new drug of choice.
Speaker 1: That's a good one to do. Yeah, I'm a good
one to an extent. You can't go over with all
the goodness. There's balance. It has to be a balance
for everything. But yeah, service is such a powerful thing,
and people don't understand, like a lot of people who
don't provide a service for people outside of themselves for
no other reason other than just to be kind. It's
the greatest drug in my opinion, Like you feel, it's
a chemical that gets released in your system when you
are kind. I think that's from from our our evolution
as a species, because we're the only way we survive
is to be collaborative, to be helpful, because if we can't,
those bears are much stronger than us. I say, there's
so much stronger than us, and we're pretty weak. We're
pretty you know, not really built for this planet.
Speaker 2: So true.
Speaker 1: So the only thing that gets us going is this
and helping each.
Speaker 2: Other, yes, and being of service. That doesn't have to
be some grand act where you donate thousands of dollars
to a cause. It could just be holding the door
open for a stranger. We're paying somebody a compliment or
accepting a compliment. That's also an active service.
Speaker 1: Also very difficult.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's the hard one.
Speaker 1: If you had a chance to go back in time,
got into the Dolorean with Marty, went back in time
and cut to speak to little Betty. What advice would
you give her?
Speaker 2: Oh, to hold on for dear life. For dear life, girl,
it's going to get real bad and then it's going
to get real awesome. And you are worthy of all
the love in the universe. That's what I would tell her.
Speaker 1: That's another T shirt that is such a great deal.
How do you define God or source?
Speaker 2: There is no definition for God. You know. The source
is all that is as a piece of energy. I'm
sparked from a source of energy. That's my conception of God.
And it's unconditional love, it's safety, it's security, it's all
of these amazing feelings of peace and serenity. That's how
I conceptualize God. So when I'm praying, I'm praying to
those attributes. And God is not a form or a gender,
or race or class in my mind, just this effervescent
ball of unconditional love that I'm sparked from.
Speaker 1: What is love?
Speaker 2: Ew love is so indescribable, right, love is you know
on earth? Obviously, like we romanticize the idea of love.
We think about a romantic partner or even a parent
child relationship, like there's for special relationships of course in
miracles would call it. But a holy relationship is where
love can really thrive and be experienced because it's love
without condition. My whole life, I was under the impression
that love is transactional, that I have to do something
in order to be worthy of love, whether it's get
good grades or clean my room or be a good
spouse or whatever it looks like. Today, I have this
concept of unconditional love that means without conditions, that it's
accessible to me. Again, the feeling of safety, security, connection,
all of those things encapsulate the idea of love for me.
Speaker 1: If you could ask God one question, what question would
that be.
Speaker 2: Do you like my hair? I'm not going to bother
God with any question.
Speaker 1: He's going to be like, I heard what you said,
Oh my God, my father, Yeah, so much love, that's it.
I don't know. It's my kids. The same thing, like
my wife and I literally say that, like, I'm sorry.
We love you so much. You know, as we dropped
them off to school, we opened the window.
Speaker 2: We love you.
Speaker 1: They just want to die and it's the best feeling.
Speaker 2: Yes, all of us are like these nihilistic teenagers here
on earth. Yes we are so email. Yeah, we really are.
Speaker 1: Listen to a lot of the of the clash and
and uh, what is the ultimate purpose of life?
Speaker 2: To experience, To experience everything that life has to offer.
That means experience heartbreak, experience grief, experience love, experience connection,
experience everything. That is the meaning of life. We come
here to forget so that we can remember, because it's
in the remembrance that that is that's the bliss is remembering.
Can you believe that, like we think that we're human?
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous crazy. And as you said, as you said,
like experience is everything. I just the first thing that
popped into my hand was like, but everything everywhere, all
at once.
Speaker 2: That's exactly how your story goes.
Speaker 1: You just all of the cereal boxes, all the cereal
boxes went into your bag. Where can people find out
more about you and the amazing work you're doing in
the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm on all social media. My handle on everything
is Buddha Betty. It's a play on words. I'm not
actually a booty, but I'm not actually a Buddha.
Speaker 1: You were, Jesus. We already established that.
Speaker 2: I'm more like a body. But my handle is Buddha Betty.
I have a website Buddha Betty dot com, and I
would love to connect with anybody, especially if you're somebody
that's dealing with addiction or integrating a spiritual experience. I'd
love to connect you to community or work with you
one on one. There's so much hope out there, there's
so much there's so much freedom, there's so many resources,
so please please reach out.
Speaker 1: And there is just one last question I want to
ask you. With this Awakening, Great Awakening, the show that
you were talking about, we're in it right now and
a lot of people are going through a lot, and
you kind of hinted at that with that last comment.
What advice do you have for people who are dealing
with their own awakenings, their own dark knight of the soul,
their own shadow work, which it seems like everybody is
starting to have to deal with this stuff, you know,
the stuff that we didn't talk about when we were kids.
Are we're dealing with now. Yeah, and it's coming on
a mass level. I think that's one of the reasons
why where seems like everything is a dumpster fire right now.
It just seems like the whole world's crumbling, come crumbling
around us because of this. So I'd love to hear
your advice for anybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't watch the news. That's my number one advice.
You don't need to. But how will I stay informed?
You don't need to.
Speaker 1: If it's important enough, it'll get to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll find out. You know, I think that being
present is such an important thing.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back for a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: So my awareness of the Great Awakening has shifted. So,
you know, I used to live every day in this
awareness that great things are coming, They're right around the corner,
like transformation is here, it's gonna it's all happening. And
I realized that every second that I was going into
this story, I was pulling myself out of the present moment. So,
whether you believe in doomsday and the apocalypse, or you
believe in the Great Awakening and transformation of consciousness. Both
of those things actually keep you out of the present moment,
which is where heaven is. Another thing about going through
spiritual awakening, integration, confronting all these shadows of our past.
Don't do it by yourself, like how you shared right,
those bears, they're big. We came here in tribes of souls.
Not only tribes of souls, but in the beginning of
time we were in tribes of people. We need each other.
So find a teacher, find community, find a mentor find
somebody to do this work with. If I'm doing my
work by myself, I'm a bad company. I'm the person
who got me into the mess to begin with, Like
the I'm not the one. I gotta find somebody else
to help me.
Speaker 1: Vettie, this has been by far one of the most
amazing near death experiences I've ever had I've had. I've
had so much fun with you. You are a just
a ball of wonderful energy, and I appreciate your candor,
your humor to the whole thing, and hopefully people listening
will it will help people. So I appreciate you and
everything you're doing to awaken this planet.
Speaker 2: So thank you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I like to thank Betty so much for coming on
the show and sharing her knowledge and wisdom with all
of us. If you want to get links to anything
we spoke about in this episode, head over to the
show notes at next level soul dot com Forward slash
five six nine. Now, if this conversation stirred something in you,
there's more waiting. You can listen to this episode completely
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Begin your awakening at next levelsoul dot tv. Thank you
so much for listening. As I always say, trust the journey.
It's there to teach you. I'll see you next time.