WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.439 Episode with two stories. First part, I hope you enjoy 2 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:08.359 this story. Relative requested that I create a permanent design 3 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:11.279 on his skin during his marriage celebration on short notice, 4 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:14.279 only to discover that he desired his former partner's birthday 5 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:18.879 commemorated instead. To provide some context about myself, I am 6 00:00:18.920 --> 00:00:23.800 familiar with the situation a tattoo artist. I've done an 7 00:00:23.839 --> 00:00:27.280 apprenticeship the first year of tattooing. I work as a 8 00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:29.760 tattoo artist for four years now, and I opened a 9 00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:33.399 studio recently. Me and my family are invited to a 10 00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:37.240 wedding that is taking place in another state. My cousin 11 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:39.759 is marrying and we got the invitation a few months ago. 12 00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:42.920 Time has moved forward and now the wedding is in 13 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:46.359 a week. Already, out of the blue, my cousin let's 14 00:00:46.359 --> 00:00:48.880 call him Matt, texted me with something along the lines 15 00:00:48.920 --> 00:00:50.719 of your going to tattoo me on my wedding day. 16 00:00:51.719 --> 00:00:53.799 I was a bit confused, as I never even thought 17 00:00:53.799 --> 00:00:56.280 of bringing my equipment since I also didn't plan a 18 00:00:56.320 --> 00:01:00.159 guest spot or anything. Guest spot is a tattoo artist 19 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:02.719 working at another studio for a few days or weeks, 20 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:06.280 mostly in a different area to grow the clientele. I 21 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:09.040 jokingly asked if he has a machine, as I still 22 00:01:09.079 --> 00:01:12.519 hope that he wasn't serious. He then just asked if 23 00:01:12.519 --> 00:01:14.840 I don't have one, and that one machine wouldn't take 24 00:01:14.920 --> 00:01:17.879 up that much space to take with. I replied that 25 00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:20.439 I didn't plan on bringing my equipment that in fact 26 00:01:20.439 --> 00:01:24.400 contains more than just a machine, color, hygiene stuff, stencil, 27 00:01:24.439 --> 00:01:26.280 that's the purple stuff you put on the skin to 28 00:01:26.359 --> 00:01:30.040 then trace the tattoo with actual needles, et cetera, and 29 00:01:30.120 --> 00:01:32.200 that I'm not prepared to tattoo at a wedding of 30 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:34.799 which I don't know anything about lay out of the location, 31 00:01:35.319 --> 00:01:38.840 is it inside, slash outside and so on. He then 32 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:40.560 said that he had planned on this and that it 33 00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:42.120 would mean a lot to him to both get a 34 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:44.040 tattoo on his wedding day and that I'd be the 35 00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:47.159 one to tattoo him. Remember that this is the first 36 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:49.959 time I'm hearing this. I again tried to explain that 37 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:52.079 I don't feel comfortable with that, and that it's quite 38 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:54.120 short notice as I work until me and my brother 39 00:01:54.200 --> 00:01:56.439 fly over to attend the wedding and a tattoo needs 40 00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:59.840 to be designed first. Right he saw my message, but 41 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:03.560 didn't reply anymore. This morning, my mother called and she 42 00:02:03.719 --> 00:02:07.159 was furious. She asked why I couldn't pull my shit 43 00:02:07.239 --> 00:02:10.479 together and just tattoo Matt. I told her what I've 44 00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:12.840 previously told Matt as well, but she didn't want to 45 00:02:12.840 --> 00:02:15.439 hear it. She just said it would mean a lot 46 00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:17.479 to her and Matt's family if I'd do that, and 47 00:02:17.479 --> 00:02:19.599 that it could be my wedding gift. Then she hung up. 48 00:02:20.479 --> 00:02:22.319 I talked to my brother about it, and he just 49 00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:24.199 shrugged it off and said it would be nice of you, 50 00:02:24.280 --> 00:02:27.199 though I'm unsure what to do now. As I said, 51 00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:30.400 I'm not really comfortable with the whole situation, especially because 52 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:33.039 I've never been guest spotting, so I never had to travel, 53 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:35.960 let alone get on a plane with my equipment. But 54 00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:39.039 is that just selfish? I mean, it would mean a 55 00:02:39.039 --> 00:02:43.840 lot to apparently everyone, and I'm just saying no. Edit one, 56 00:02:44.199 --> 00:02:46.520 I do have an actual wedding gift already. As they 57 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:49.759 send out a wish list with their invitations, there was 58 00:02:49.800 --> 00:02:52.719 a point that said artwork because they recently moved into 59 00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:55.800 a bigger house and apparently they want random artwork to decorate. 60 00:02:56.800 --> 00:02:59.319 I oil painted them a painting I spent several days 61 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:01.400 on so I also don't plan to give him a 62 00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:05.400 voucher as a gift. Two, Mattie doesn't have any tattoos 63 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:08.599 as far as I know. Three, I don't know what 64 00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:11.000 my mom's problem is with all of this. I think 65 00:03:11.039 --> 00:03:15.759 she just wants to keep the peace comments. Boop expands 66 00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:19.400 on why it's such a bad idea. Boop, I especially 67 00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:21.919 don't understand why I should tattoo at a wedding since 68 00:03:21.919 --> 00:03:25.680 you can't or shouldn't combine getting tattooed with drinking alcohol 69 00:03:25.719 --> 00:03:28.120 and knowing matt there will be plenty of alcohol at 70 00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:32.039 this wedding. Commenter, Really, and does that mean you can't 71 00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:36.759 drink as well? This would be a hard no from me, Boop. Yeah, 72 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:39.240 I wouldn't be able to drink either, But up until now, 73 00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:42.319 I haven't even thought of that. Commenter, it's inappropriate of 74 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:44.240 him to expect you to work for free at an 75 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:47.400 event to which you're a guest. Are you even licensed 76 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:52.039 to tattoo in the other state? The entire thing sounds ludicrous. 77 00:03:52.639 --> 00:03:55.159 Tell your cousin your hourly rate, build in the peer 78 00:03:55.240 --> 00:03:57.560 rate for hauling your equipment, and he needs to cover 79 00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:01.560 your flights and hotel. After all, flying in a trained 80 00:04:01.560 --> 00:04:05.560 professional to perform a service costs money. Oh and he 81 00:04:05.639 --> 00:04:09.360 needs to pay up front since this is a special service. Boop. 82 00:04:09.560 --> 00:04:12.960 I am actually licensed, and I mean I would ask 83 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:15.639 for money. But apparently they plan this as a wedding gift, 84 00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:19.319 like my mom suggested, I can't imagine what they are 85 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:23.240 even thinking. Commenter, they planned this as a wedding gift 86 00:04:23.319 --> 00:04:27.040 from you, because that's pretty presumptuous and against some kind 87 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:30.879 of like wedding etiquette. I always thought any mention of 88 00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:33.120 gifts by the wedding couple was some kind of faux 89 00:04:33.160 --> 00:04:37.879 pas n ta boop, especially since they have an actual 90 00:04:37.920 --> 00:04:40.759 list of things they want to be gifted. I mean, 91 00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:42.759 there was a point that said artwork. But if they 92 00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:44.839 wanted me to tattoo matt as a gift, they could 93 00:04:44.839 --> 00:04:46.600 and should have reached out as they sent out their 94 00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:50.560 list commenter. And is there a honeymoon happening right after 95 00:04:50.600 --> 00:04:54.160 the wedding? If they're going anywhere where swimming is involved, 96 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:57.560 he won't be able to swim with a fresh tattoo. Boop. 97 00:04:57.720 --> 00:04:59.920 I thought of that too. They are going to Bali. 98 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:02.240 I doubt that he had considered not being able to 99 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:05.360 go swim or being in the sun at all. Commenter, 100 00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:08.560 there being unreasonable and making things weird for no reason. 101 00:05:09.480 --> 00:05:11.560 Ant A and I just wouldn't go if they keep 102 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:15.279 being like this. Oop. I did think about not attending. 103 00:05:16.199 --> 00:05:18.240 It would be sad not to, but this is also 104 00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:20.560 very uncomfortable, and I don't think every one has let 105 00:05:20.600 --> 00:05:24.480 go of it by then. Commenter, Ntia, but disclaim her 106 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:26.680 I'm petty. I would find out who the bride is 107 00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:31.160 and tell her this would hijack the wedding. Explain to 108 00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:33.160 her or her ama or mom that you would need 109 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:36.519 several hours to set up, clean to the actual tattoo, 110 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:38.879 that this would take over her whole wedding, then sit 111 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:42.639 back and watch the shit fest. Oop. I'm actually not 112 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:44.480 sure if the bride is in on this or not. 113 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:48.959 I'm not close with her at all. Commenter. Does he 114 00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:51.399 have any other tattoos so that he understands how long 115 00:05:51.439 --> 00:05:54.800 it could end up taking He could theoretically want anything 116 00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:59.519 at this point. This is such a ridiculous request. Oop. 117 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:01.759 I don't think he has any tattoos, and with that, 118 00:06:01.879 --> 00:06:06.639 no concept on how tattooing actually works. Popular Underscore Document 119 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:12.360 thirteen ninety nine, NTA, what is really wrong with your mother? Honestly, 120 00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:14.920 while I am not a tattoo artist, I think it's 121 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:18.199 unethical and unprofessional to engage in tattoo services at a 122 00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:21.480 wedding or other place other than your studio. If matt 123 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:23.639 wants to have a tattoo done, tell him to come 124 00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:25.439 to your studio and you can do it for him 125 00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:27.959 before or after the wedding as a wedding gift, not 126 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:33.639 during the ceremony. Geez, this is so ridiculous. Update one, 127 00:06:33.879 --> 00:06:36.879 So the last hours have been a lot. First of 128 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:39.040 I called my mom and while she asked me again, 129 00:06:39.319 --> 00:06:42.040 this time very friendly, if I want a tattoo Mattie 130 00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:44.279 at his wedding, and again I said no, with all 131 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:46.480 the reasons I've previously given her, plus some of the 132 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.800 very good points you guys had. Before she could say 133 00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:52.399 anything else, I added that I felt like she wouldn't 134 00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:56.199 take me in tattooing. Seriously. She didn't say anything for 135 00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:58.480 a bit until she tried to explain that she really 136 00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:01.519 thought it wasn't a big deal. I told her again 137 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:03.519 that it is, and that my mom, of all the people, 138 00:07:03.519 --> 00:07:08.120 should know how my job works. She agreed and apologized profusely. 139 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:11.079 I then asked her if she liked to attend and 140 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:13.639 watch me work on a client's appointment, and to my surprise, 141 00:07:13.720 --> 00:07:18.120 she said yes, Mom is tagging along tomorrow now to Mattie, 142 00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:21.720 or rather his bride. I finally got hold of the bride, 143 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:24.360 let's say her name is Becky, and asked her about 144 00:07:24.360 --> 00:07:28.439 the request her fiance confronted me with. She seemed surprised, 145 00:07:28.439 --> 00:07:30.360 as she apparently had heard from my aunt that I 146 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:33.639 made them something for their new house. She assumed it 147 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:35.399 would be a painting, since I'm the artist of the 148 00:07:35.439 --> 00:07:38.240 family and it's known that I also paint. I confirm that, 149 00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:40.560 but that Mattie has come forward with this out of 150 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:42.360 the blue, and that it's not a good idea for 151 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:46.399 many reasons. She agreed with me immediately, I think she 152 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:49.959 does have tattoos. She thanked me for telling her, as 153 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:53.439 no one else did. Becky seemed really mad, but she 154 00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:56.800 seemed to pull herself together. I would have lost it. 155 00:07:57.000 --> 00:07:59.920 I'm assuming Becky confronted mad after a call, because only 156 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:02.399 three to four hours later I checked the family group 157 00:08:02.480 --> 00:08:04.639 chat and there was a message from Becky there will 158 00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:06.879 be no ceremony on the thirteenth, as Mad and I 159 00:08:06.959 --> 00:08:10.279 decided we aren't getting married. Mad and I have things 160 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:12.800 to figure out, so please text or call us tomorrow 161 00:08:12.839 --> 00:08:14.920 if you have questions. For the rest of the day, 162 00:08:14.920 --> 00:08:17.199 will be on flight mode. After dinner, Becky called me 163 00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:19.759 and apologized for Mad again. She said it was a 164 00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:21.759 stupid idea of his and that he just thought it 165 00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:25.040 would be cool. She then informed me that she still 166 00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:27.040 wants me to fly over for the wedding day, as 167 00:08:27.079 --> 00:08:29.040 she will be hosting a party instead of a wedding. 168 00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:32.759 Everything is paid for anyways, and she doesn't want anything 169 00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:35.759 to go to waste. I asked if they broke up. 170 00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:37.840 Not yet, but I'm going to stay at my sister's 171 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:41.840 place until next week. I'm assuming Mad hasn't been too great, 172 00:08:41.879 --> 00:08:45.039 but I'm sure i'll hear about it. Apparently my brother 173 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:47.759 and my mom aren't invited. L oel. My call must 174 00:08:47.799 --> 00:08:49.440 have been the last straw, But as far as I 175 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:52.240 am concerned, Becky is handling it gracefully and Mad will 176 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:55.879 be okay too. I'm sure. So I'm going to a party. 177 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:58.759 But did I just make a new friend? Thanks y'all 178 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:03.240 for having my back, update too, Welcome back. I'm finally 179 00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:07.039 done writing this. Thanks to everyone coming back and reading this. 180 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:11.200 I appreciate y'all and love that you are enjoying the tea. So, 181 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:12.960 because a lot of you wanted to know how to 182 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:15.440 bring your mom to work, day was, I picked her 183 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:17.320 up in the morning and we headed to the studio. 184 00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:21.039 I showed her around, told her a few background stories 185 00:09:21.080 --> 00:09:23.320 about some of the artworks and photos that are hanging 186 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:25.399 on our walls, and explained her my routine As I 187 00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:28.399 prepared everything, my client arrived and I handled it like 188 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:31.080 I usually would, just with my mom sitting there lo 189 00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:34.480 o L. I explained every step of the process, and 190 00:09:34.519 --> 00:09:37.960 she also asked me questions about my ink, needles, technique, 191 00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:41.120 et cetera. It was a lot of fun having her around, 192 00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:43.919 and she really did surprise me with her openness and interest. 193 00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:46.879 When I was done with tattooing, my mother had to 194 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:49.360 leave for work, but thanked and hugged me for bringing 195 00:09:49.360 --> 00:09:52.240 her along, as she not only enjoyed spending time with me, 196 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:55.159 but also loved seeing me doing my job so professionally 197 00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:57.360 and said that she sees my work and efforts. Now 198 00:09:58.279 --> 00:10:01.480 to the wedding slash party. The parties started at one thousand, 199 00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:05.480 four hundred hours as the ceremony was canceled, I arrived 200 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:09.320 and was immediately welcomed by Becky's sister. She hugged me 201 00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:13.480 and helped me with my painting. Everyone was outside drinking 202 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:16.639 and having a small bite already. I went to say 203 00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:20.600 hi to Becky and she hugged me warmly. She seemed tired, 204 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:24.879 but otherwise fine. Becky was also smiling a lot, which 205 00:10:24.919 --> 00:10:28.080 surprised me. I went to mingle as I didn't want 206 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:31.399 to start off with questioning her l oel. I met 207 00:10:31.399 --> 00:10:33.360 a lot of her friends, and apparently the most of 208 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:36.399 them weren't too fond of Matt. I heard a few 209 00:10:36.399 --> 00:10:38.320 things of how he tried to change Becky to be 210 00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:40.639 more like his ex and stuff like that. Not a 211 00:10:40.679 --> 00:10:43.679 great look Mattie speaking of. Not a single friend or 212 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:48.159 relative of Matt was around besides me and one other cousin. Later, 213 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:50.360 as we sat down to eat, I asked if could 214 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:54.200 join Becky's table. They said yes, So I was sitting 215 00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:58.000 with Becky, her sister, and three of her friends. I 216 00:10:58.039 --> 00:11:00.960 introduced myself to one of them, talked to him before, 217 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:03.720 and Becky added that I'm Matt's cousin. The one who 218 00:11:03.799 --> 00:11:07.879 was supposed to tattoo. A simultaneous oh came from every one, 219 00:11:08.879 --> 00:11:11.519 and with that, the conversation was about Matt from the 220 00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:16.120 get go. I asked what happened. The sister just rolled 221 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:19.360 her eyes and was like, what didn't Becky and friends 222 00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:22.159 told me a while ago. Matt has apparently started to 223 00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:24.960 pick on Becky for being herself in various ways. It 224 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:28.000 started small, like asking her to change her sports routine 225 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:31.840 from workouts to only running. Then he criticized her cooking 226 00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:34.360 as he prefers to eat more meat and more. Traditionally, 227 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:38.240 they discussed these topics and it always seemed fine, but 228 00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:41.279 he didn't stop. He asked her if she couldn't let 229 00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:43.799 her hair grow or get extensions, and speaking of hair, 230 00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:46.840 if she couldn't get them bright Becky has shoulder long 231 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:50.240 black hair. More and more seemed to pile up, until 232 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.440 he also started to make comments along the line of 233 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:55.879 can't you be more like my ex as? I understand it. 234 00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:58.519 He didn't say it specifically, but it was clear he 235 00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:01.879 meant it like that his ex is from Texas. I 236 00:12:02.039 --> 00:12:04.679 was shocked. I asked why she didn't break up because 237 00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:07.240 of that, but Becky explained that in the situations, it 238 00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:10.440 didn't seem as bad as when you list those reasons. 239 00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:13.120 She had also made a few changes to make Mattie happy, 240 00:12:13.159 --> 00:12:15.360 but continued to do what she wanted most of the time. 241 00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:19.120 Time went on and the issues resurfaced again and again 242 00:12:19.159 --> 00:12:22.480 in different ways. The last big fight was only a 243 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:25.600 few weeks ago, when Mattie called Becky by his ex's name. 244 00:12:25.879 --> 00:12:28.200 They somehow settled this. So let's skip forward to when 245 00:12:28.200 --> 00:12:31.639 I called Becky about the tattoo idea. After our call, 246 00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:33.440 she went up to Matt and asked him why he 247 00:12:33.480 --> 00:12:35.320 didn't talk to her about it and why he would 248 00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:37.519 just decide doing something like that on their wedding day. 249 00:12:37.559 --> 00:12:39.720 He explained that he wanted to surprise her and stuff 250 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:43.159 like that. Becky went on telling him this wasn't happening 251 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:44.879 and that she wanted to be able to enjoy the 252 00:12:44.919 --> 00:12:48.320 wedding and their honeymoon again. They seemed to agree in 253 00:12:48.399 --> 00:12:52.399 the end and he apologized, But later this almost threw me. 254 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:54.879 As Becky was starting to cook dinner and matt was 255 00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:58.039 sitting at the counter, they talked about tattoos again, apparently 256 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:01.039 really chill discussion about tattoos and in general, and Becky 257 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:04.600 asked him playfully what he intended on getting tattooed. He 258 00:13:04.679 --> 00:13:07.679 gestured across his chest and said, I want my birth date, 259 00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:10.919 our wedding date, and your birth date. So insert as 260 00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:14.360 b D June thirteenth, twenty twenty four insert b D. 261 00:13:14.759 --> 00:13:18.559 Becky said she went blind for a millisecond that third 262 00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:22.480 date was in fact not her birthday. She asked him again, 263 00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:25.879 and he repeated the same dates. She then said that 264 00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:28.399 this isn't her birth date. He persisted that it was 265 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:31.639 and that she should stop trying to fool him. She said, 266 00:13:31.639 --> 00:13:33.679 she started to cry and ran to get her purse 267 00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:37.519 to show him her driver's license. That's when his face slipped. 268 00:13:38.440 --> 00:13:40.559 He tried to get out of it by making excuses 269 00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:43.639 that he isn't good with dates, et cetera. But Becky 270 00:13:43.799 --> 00:13:47.120 just went straight to her phone and checked Facebook. She 271 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:50.919 found his ex's profile showing her birthday. It was the 272 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:53.360 date he would have gotten tattooed on his chest if 273 00:13:53.399 --> 00:13:56.799 I hadn't said no, and also called Becky my dumb 274 00:13:56.840 --> 00:13:58.840 ass cousin would have ended up with the birthday of 275 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:02.360 his ex girlfriend next to his wedding date. Becky said 276 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:04.000 he more or less told him it was over and 277 00:14:04.039 --> 00:14:07.919 that this is enough. She started to immediately reorganize the 278 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:10.600 whole wedding and honeymoon while kicking him out of the house. 279 00:14:11.639 --> 00:14:15.200 A bit later, she called me back. She also mentioned 280 00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:17.159 that she didn't want to say what happened on the phone, 281 00:14:17.159 --> 00:14:19.039 as she thought I might tell my family and she 282 00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:22.240 really didn't want to hear about it. Fair. I get 283 00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:26.039 that Becky changed the honeymoon booking and is now taking 284 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:30.000 her best friend. Also, if you're wondering, Becky's dad is 285 00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:32.080 currently the owner of their house, as they agreed to 286 00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:35.399 slowly pay him back due to his financial wealth and stability. 287 00:14:35.399 --> 00:14:38.440 That made more sense this way, As far as I know, 288 00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:42.840 Becky is going to stay there anyways. That's the t folks. 289 00:14:43.399 --> 00:14:45.720 This was truly a wild ride, and I am pretty 290 00:14:45.720 --> 00:14:47.759 sure Becky and I are going to be good friends. 291 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:51.360 We really hit it off. I don't have much dignity 292 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:53.240 left for Matt, so I'm not sure I'll keep the 293 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:58.279 contact at all. Comments ran eleven o one. Thanks for 294 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:03.039 the update. What wild ending. Becky certainly put up with 295 00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:06.320 a lot before the tipping point. I was wondering if 296 00:15:06.360 --> 00:15:08.559 you know how long Becky and Matt dated before the 297 00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:11.759 wedding day. It seems crazy that he would be so 298 00:15:11.879 --> 00:15:14.879 sure of the wrong birthday, Like have they celebrated Becky's 299 00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:18.399 birthday before? Has he ever said Happy Birthday to her 300 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:21.360 on the wrong day? Either way, I'm glad it came 301 00:15:21.399 --> 00:15:23.759 out and y'all are living your best lives now without 302 00:15:23.799 --> 00:15:28.320 Matt's duchess clouding the way. Suspicious fruit two forty three op. 303 00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:31.600 They have been together for about three years. I think 304 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:35.559 Yo Sara underscore hervey. I've got a feeling that Mattie 305 00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:38.759 isn't over his ex yet. I assume she's the one 306 00:15:38.759 --> 00:15:40.960 who left because if he's the one who left her, 307 00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:43.120 he's very dumb. But from what you told us, I 308 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:46.519 wouldn't put this past him. The end of that relationship 309 00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:48.639 is a very good thing for Becky and in some 310 00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:52.039 way for matt too. Now he's free to pursue his 311 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:55.879 ex again. Lol. Thank you for the update. Glad your 312 00:15:55.960 --> 00:15:58.840 relationship with your mom improved and now you can distance 313 00:15:58.879 --> 00:16:02.600 yourself from the toxic people and your family. Mattie, I'm 314 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:07.039 looking at you. Good luck to you friend. Update three. 315 00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:11.320 Hi everyone, not sure if anyone still cares, but I 316 00:16:11.320 --> 00:16:13.639 thought i'd give a tiny update on how everything went. 317 00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:17.519 First of all, since that question came up a few times, 318 00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:20.519 I'm a woman. Well, Becky and her bestie went to Bali, 319 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:24.639 as they replanned, during her vacation. We texted quite a bit. 320 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:28.240 Then they came back and we were still texting. First 321 00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:30.759 it was all very superficial and polite, as she thanked 322 00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:33.720 me for telling her about the whole tattoo thing, that 323 00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:35.879 I showed up to the party anyways, and that I 324 00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:39.200 still gifted her my painting, et cetera. We got into 325 00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:42.360 other stuff like music, movies, and hobbies. We have a 326 00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:45.559 lot in common. Turns out she is just as nerdy 327 00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:49.080 as me, so we could connect over anime and different games. 328 00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:52.799 I never had a female friend to share these interests. 329 00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:55.480 She's also coming over for a few days next week. 330 00:16:55.639 --> 00:16:59.840 I'm super excited. Anyways, I am super happy how everything went, 331 00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:02.240 and to see that Becky is doing very good without 332 00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:05.960 my cousin Loel. I think she's truly relieved and is 333 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:10.160 beautifully blooming. Thanks guys for all your messages and comments. 334 00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:15.359 I really appreciate it. Comments NOCTOILA eighty eight, that's great. 335 00:17:16.359 --> 00:17:19.240 By the way, have you heard of Mattie Suspicious Fruit 336 00:17:19.279 --> 00:17:22.240 two forty three Up nothing direct. I've talked to his 337 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:25.920 mother though apparently he actually did try to reach out 338 00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:28.279 to his ex. But I have no idea what's going 339 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:32.880 on there. L Oel. Becky asked me out. Update four, 340 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:37.079 Hi Ah, I'm very excited. Becky asked me out on 341 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:40.079 a date. It's only in October as she wants to 342 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:42.279 take it slow and needs more time since the wedding 343 00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:44.559 isn't that long ago, but she wanted to make her 344 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:49.240 current feelings clear to me. Comments Sunflower and dream Boop. 345 00:17:49.279 --> 00:17:51.799 Traded in her loser cousin for a new friend. Not 346 00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:56.480 a bad trade so far, Lucy Aria Rose. Honestly, things 347 00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:59.680 seem to have turned out well for up new friend. 348 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:02.680 Her mom understands what she does better and she didn't 349 00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:07.000 have to tattoo her jerk of a relative lol. Rattus ratus. 350 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:09.279 I still can't get over the shit bird thinking he's 351 00:18:09.319 --> 00:18:11.079 going to get a chest piece at his wedding and 352 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:15.119 just keep rocking. It's a fucking wound. It oozes and 353 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:18.839 bleeds and hurts. The wrong birthday was just the shit 354 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:23.279 Cherriotop the shit Sunday Chucklin five. Yeah, I've gone to 355 00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:27.079 work after a hip and wrist tattoo. While not unbearable, 356 00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:29.200 I was able to uncover the hip for periods of 357 00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:31.160 time while working due to having a hutch thing on 358 00:18:31.240 --> 00:18:34.200 my desk so you can't see below my head. It 359 00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:38.160 still wasn't an enjoyable work day, expecting to dance and 360 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:42.279 honeymoon after a fresh piece. What an idiot coffee and 361 00:18:42.359 --> 00:18:46.759 punk records. I am very heavily tattooed. I recently got 362 00:18:46.759 --> 00:18:49.880 my stomach done. I work from home, and for about 363 00:18:49.880 --> 00:18:52.039 a week I was taking calls in jim shorts and 364 00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:55.640 a button down shirt with the bottom few buttons undone. 365 00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:58.240 This guy is a moron, even before the whole birthday 366 00:18:58.279 --> 00:19:02.400 thing is taken into consideration. Mikaela, it sounds like the 367 00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:05.640 cousin was basically using Becky as a placeholder slash standin 368 00:19:05.720 --> 00:19:08.920 for his ex since he's clearly not over her, trying 369 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:11.240 to change her to be more like the ex, calling 370 00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:14.400 her by the ex's name, and then the birthday tattoos. 371 00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:17.599 They've been together for three years and he's never bothered 372 00:19:17.599 --> 00:19:19.759 to learn what her birthday was because he doubled down 373 00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:22.200 on swearing that was her birthday. Yeah, he didn't care 374 00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:25.519 about Becky, she was just a doll where he exerted 375 00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:27.759 his imagery of the ex onto her because the shirty 376 00:19:27.799 --> 00:19:30.319 of believing that date was her birthday is definitely giving 377 00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:32.440 that he was looking at her trough tinted glasses and 378 00:19:32.559 --> 00:19:36.839 never saw her for her glad she got out weird 379 00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:40.720 pink hair people being shocked about the birthday thing. After 380 00:19:40.759 --> 00:19:44.279 them being together three years, my ex asked me to 381 00:19:44.319 --> 00:19:46.640 call this solicitor when we divorced, and she asked me, 382 00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:49.559 very embarrassed tone to her voice, what my date of 383 00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:53.680 birth was? After fifteen years together, he still couldn't be 384 00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:57.559 oz to remember. So Yet, douches like this really exist. 385 00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:01.160 That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the 386 00:20:01.240 --> 00:20:06.119 second one. I hope you enjoy this story. My guardians 387 00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:08.720 disappeared from my life half a decade ago following my 388 00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:12.480 marriage and have recently made contact. How should I handle 389 00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:17.359 this situation? Share it on our subreddit for guidance on relationships. 390 00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:21.799 Initial post on October twentieth, twenty twenty one. I'm at 391 00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:26.480 a loss married to my former boss. Parents did not 392 00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:28.559 take the marriage as well as I'd hoped and ignored 393 00:20:28.599 --> 00:20:30.960 me for five years, only to reach out when they 394 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:33.920 saw a fifth anniversary Facebook post that mentioned our kids. 395 00:20:34.119 --> 00:20:36.400 Do I let them back in or do I ignore them? 396 00:20:37.319 --> 00:20:40.920 My husband used to be my boss about nine years 397 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:44.480 ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 398 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:47.440 two point five years ignoring our mutual attraction until we 399 00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:51.160 gave in. We then went to h R, who reassigned me, 400 00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:53.640 and the whole thing was strictly above board from the 401 00:20:53.640 --> 00:20:57.319