Speaker 1: I think Luke was a lot of fun, and I
Speaker 1: know that we've been shitting on the guy a lot,
Speaker 1: but he's just an endless supply of AMMO.
Speaker 2: And if you want to get him on cameo, you
Speaker 2: can either talk to him for three hundred and twenty
Speaker 2: five dollars. Yeah, yeah, or you can talk to any
Speaker 2: of the captains for the same price, right right, So
Speaker 2: fuck off, Okay, I'm trying to help that.
Speaker 1: Hi, Hello, and welcome to another brands banging episode of
Speaker 1: bad Television. I am Dylan.
Speaker 2: That is pat great to be here at permission to
Speaker 2: come aboard.
Speaker 1: Granted, Kaylen this here as well. We will not be
Speaker 1: getting his knots today. We're in a post kayln N
Speaker 1: era of the show. I've had it, guys, joint us
Speaker 1: to paygreon dot com session on other podcast network. I
Speaker 1: don't know what we're doing over there. I don't really
Speaker 1: think anything but go over there and aps.
Speaker 2: I just did a great one where I recapped my
Speaker 2: vacation in Napos. Were overpaid for a vacation, that's right,
Speaker 2: vacation with rich people complaining about how they weren't going
Speaker 2: to get their their money and their accounts. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That was fun, and I discussed the the hardship that
Speaker 1: my marriage has endured because of the World Cup and
Speaker 1: me being married to an Argentine. So yeah, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff patreon dot com in the cities there
Speaker 1: as well. Go up, donate a little or a little more.
Speaker 1: And what's one way that people could get five dollars
Speaker 1: if if they are strapped for cash?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, this is an old one, but a goodie.
Speaker 1: Let's come up with a new one, because people don't
Speaker 1: need your stale arbustrage opportunities. Okay, now we've talked about
Speaker 1: this before. You take a can of beer, you say
Speaker 1: there were hops at this it almost killed me, and
Speaker 1: then they'll send you a new pack of beer and
Speaker 1: then you sell it to kids. Okay, now we've heard that. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, how about.
Speaker 2: A spin on this? Okay, Okay, you call Hershey's candy Okay,
Speaker 2: and the hotline, because at on the package of every
Speaker 2: Hershey's product there's a customer line. Yeah, you tell them
Speaker 2: that the candy bar that you just ate almost killed
Speaker 2: the person that you're standing next to, Okay, and that
Speaker 2: they need to send you some money.
Speaker 1: Okay, they're not going to do that. Right.
Speaker 2: What they will do is say, can we send you something?
Speaker 2: So they're going to send you a box of chocolate,
Speaker 2: and you'll say, I will take that. You take that
Speaker 2: box of chocolate when it shows up. Okay, you bring
Speaker 2: it down to I don't know, Gelson's a grocery store.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: You say, I'm poor and I'm selling these for five
Speaker 2: dollars a chocolate.
Speaker 1: Let let me let me try to and we're here
Speaker 1: to talk about bullow Deck. We'll get to it.
Speaker 2: Then they say you're a fifty year old man.
Speaker 1: But let me let me because there's a way to
Speaker 1: There will be questions from unweeding victims of your effort
Speaker 1: to sign up for our patriot. But what you need
Speaker 1: to do is you need to take that chocolate, and
Speaker 1: you need to say that you are part of Homeboy Industries.
Speaker 1: Now you can get their merch that's going to put
Speaker 1: you in the hole a little bit because it's twenty
Speaker 1: seven dollars plus shipping, but with the box of chocolate,
Speaker 1: you'll make forty five dollars at least. Okay, wear sunscreen.
Speaker 1: It's very hot out. But what we're saying is just
Speaker 1: go to patreon dot com, session or the podcast network
Speaker 1: donate a little or a little bit more. We've lost
Speaker 1: ninety percent of the people. But we are here now
Speaker 1: to officially talk about below Deck. And the thing about
Speaker 1: this show is that it is firing on all cylinders.
Speaker 1: This show is so fun right now. And for everyone
Speaker 1: who is getting fatigue by us, happy for twenty everybody.
Speaker 1: For the people that are getting fatigued by us talking
Speaker 1: about Come as often as we've been talking about Yes,
Speaker 1: that chapter is over after tonight. I think you have
Speaker 1: about an hour left of us talking about Come in
Speaker 1: very validated, descriptive and disgusting ways. But then after that
Speaker 1: we're done.
Speaker 2: There are people and they are talking in the comments.
Speaker 2: They are done with it now. Bravo's not done with it.
Speaker 2: The episode title was, in fact, he come, they saw
Speaker 2: its bonkers. Now we've been accused of do you say
Speaker 2: that again? He come, they saw its bonkers? That was
Speaker 2: the episode title.
Speaker 1: He came.
Speaker 2: I thought it was, he come, Why would it be that?
Speaker 2: I don't know they write these things, not me.
Speaker 1: Right, But the saying is, I came, I saw I conquered.
Speaker 2: Look I write it down for bab No, I.
Speaker 1: Know you wrote it down, he come? All right, Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe I got it, what's up? Maybe maybe alright.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Eric, yeah, tomato, tomato. My point here, we've been
Speaker 2: accused of driving a bit into the ground.
Speaker 1: Okay, any times now, I never.
Speaker 2: Want to say the word come or just again. I
Speaker 2: feel like I've reached our quota for the year, So
Speaker 2: I'm going.
Speaker 1: To uh no, another chat pod term. Oh god, damn it.
Speaker 1: What's he gonna call it this week?
Speaker 2: Moving forward?
Speaker 1: Joed Nectar No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: It's more quaint no, Joe.
Speaker 1: Neck No, no, no, come on, alright, no, we will
Speaker 1: refer to it as semen man tears, whatever we want,
Speaker 1: Dick tears whatever. Okay, just but we're gonna be done
Speaker 1: after this episode. It's fine, let's get into our We
Speaker 1: had an amazing episode. I want Amy, I was gonna
Speaker 1: say on my screen all the time. I do not
Speaker 1: want that. Two episodes of Amy is the perfect amount
Speaker 1: of Amy.
Speaker 2: You know what, Amy, I hope you're listening because she
Speaker 2: seems like such a narcissist. She would Amy. You were
Speaker 2: definitely deep in the veno when you told your client, Hey,
Speaker 2: I trust you, it's your journey. Just pick whoever you want.
Speaker 1: So I go into a tailor and going does this
Speaker 1: look good. This is not my choice, this is yours.
Speaker 1: What I'm here to do is to have you choose
Speaker 1: your own suit.
Speaker 2: Then what the fuck do I need you for?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, what do I need you for?
Speaker 1: Can you imagine if a waiter you asked a waiter
Speaker 1: what the favorites are?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: What's something we can't miss? And they were just like,
Speaker 1: I'm not here to do that. There is a menu,
Speaker 1: and you can.
Speaker 2: You're a human, that is, you should be proud that
Speaker 2: you're a human.
Speaker 1: Well, I should say that Amy was fantastic and Suzanne
Speaker 1: was even more. Suzanne gifted us a full blown blackout
Speaker 1: this episode, where in multiple of her suitors actually try
Speaker 1: to get away from her because she's so shitfaced, and
Speaker 1: she will wake the next morning and take severe umbrage
Speaker 1: with the fact that some of them thought that she
Speaker 1: was intoxicated, to which Amy replies, oh my god, what
Speaker 1: do you mean, Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, Oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1: I give this episode ninety two pots.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give this ninety pots too. This is one
Speaker 2: of the best seasons we've had and uh spoiler alert,
Speaker 2: I mean we've all watched the episode, right, Luke leaves
Speaker 2: and as you pointed out last episode, we.
Speaker 1: Like turnover, turnover, you need a little turnover. Calen's making
Speaker 1: me very nervous with all of this.
Speaker 2: Calen, if you turn that fucking camera and make me
Speaker 2: look like I have a double chin, I will kill you.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, last we left off, Luke had come on
Speaker 1: his boss's sheets and he was he's yeah. He had
Speaker 1: gone up to Captain Sandy and said that I think
Speaker 1: that the best thing to do here is to remove
Speaker 1: myself from the situation. Now Luke is Kronk, so he
Speaker 1: does have a sense of pride about himself despite having
Speaker 1: been such an embarrassment. He wants Sandy to not say anything,
Speaker 1: and that he is going to go out standing out
Speaker 1: He's going to reveal to his co work curse that
Speaker 1: it's his call.
Speaker 2: Yes, he resigns, and she accepts his resignation. Now I thought,
Speaker 2: for a second, there's something deeper involved with this resignation.
Speaker 2: I don't think he wants her to write that goddamn
Speaker 2: report on him.
Speaker 1: I think he's got to be a little bit more
Speaker 1: clear because I was thinking that too. So so let's
Speaker 1: do a little rope play.
Speaker 2: Well, can I just can I be him?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Of course, Hey, I know I just resigned, Sandy. Just
Speaker 2: one thing, can I.
Speaker 1: Is there room for me?
Speaker 2: Sandy? Now? Sandy? One thing? Yeah about me leaving? Can
Speaker 2: we in that report? Can we leave the part out
Speaker 2: where I painted my boss's sheets with a ball bar.
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm just gonna let that go. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna pick up my ball in go home. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Sea Rat history, we get to chef Joy, who
Speaker 1: lost her mother at the age of twenty. Oh God,
Speaker 1: you were the weirdest human being. There will be things
Speaker 1: that people go through that are like genuinely just traumatic
Speaker 1: and awful, and Pat will go get over it. But
Speaker 1: then there will be things like someone is like upside
Speaker 1: down on a crypto investment and they're complaining about it,
Speaker 1: and Pat's like, give them a little sympathy. I mean,
Speaker 1: my god, Pat, her mother died.
Speaker 2: All right, let's back up, Okay, all right. In the galley,
Speaker 2: Joy struggles to prepare dinner for the roadblocks that primary
Speaker 2: Suzanne has laid out for it. I don't want it
Speaker 2: to be like too hot.
Speaker 1: I can't I have the two hot mushrooms.
Speaker 2: But Joy will prevail because cooking is what saved her
Speaker 2: dill right. Joy lost her mom when she was twenty,
Speaker 2: as you pointed out, which left her alone. But she
Speaker 2: wasn't alone. She had her dad, Caylen.
Speaker 1: Who do you think is more cynical generally me or Pat?
Speaker 2: That's actually tough goal anyway, No dad. She bleached her
Speaker 2: hair blonde, took up boozing, and then she started cooking
Speaker 2: to save her life.
Speaker 1: Zero points obviously reads that scale. Hey, listen, nobody liked
Speaker 1: Roger and Neepert because they were soft critics. They had
Speaker 1: integrity and it was difficult to get five thumbs up
Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck those old guys did.
Speaker 2: Were they old the whole way through? I feel like
Speaker 2: they were always they were when they started, but they
Speaker 2: looked eighty. I want to say this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a tough bitch man, she is, but she
Speaker 1: likes Luke I know.
Speaker 2: So that's what's wrong with her.
Speaker 1: We got to get Joy on the show and talk
Speaker 1: to her.
Speaker 2: About well we went back and forth on the Instagram.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, well oh you did, Yeah, so okay.
Speaker 2: The problem with Joy is obviously the problems with most
Speaker 2: sea rats. Even though they're impressive.
Speaker 1: There's sea rats. It's this inescapable thing right where and
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to make such a crude analogy.
Speaker 2: But it's not crude, it's reality.
Speaker 1: Let's let's say a chimpanzee scorn from his group gets
Speaker 1: taken in and taught how to point at letters in
Speaker 1: the alphabet or something. Right, you go, oh, that's very
Speaker 1: very cute. There's a lot of optimism here. Perhaps we
Speaker 1: can break through somewhere. He ripped someone's testicles off. The
Speaker 1: day later or a day later, it's there's a thing
Speaker 1: where you can't take the sea rat out of the
Speaker 1: sea rat. Okay, there's always going to be abandonment. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh so he sees the letter ean points of the elephant.
Speaker 1: Very good, very good. He's going to bite your hand
Speaker 1: off very soon. Okay. One thing I love about summer
Speaker 1: is how easy everything feels.
Speaker 2: Me too.
Speaker 1: It's just easy, breezy. The days are a little more relaxed,
Speaker 1: and I can find myself reaching for the same comfortable
Speaker 1: clothing over and over and over again. It's it's easy.
Speaker 1: It's summer.
Speaker 2: Are you talking about Quins?
Speaker 1: That's why we keep coming back to Quin's. Quince is
Speaker 1: one hundred percent European linen pants and shirts are breathable,
Speaker 1: easy to throw, on and the summer upgrade your rotation needs,
Speaker 1: starting at just thirty four dollars. Leaning is one. It
Speaker 1: looks good, it makes you look like you get a
Speaker 1: little bit of class, and it's breathable. Linen is the best. Okay,
Speaker 1: and the quinn stuff. I've been popping on the Quinn's
Speaker 1: shorts at the house. It's a little hot. We don't
Speaker 1: have central ac. We're in one of these charming old spots. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: very cute, but it gets hot. Quince lets me breathe.
Speaker 1: My haunches dry, smooth and beautiful.
Speaker 2: Well, here's my endorsement. I exclusively only wear their shirts.
Speaker 2: Yeah it makes me look hot.
Speaker 1: Yep. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to Quinns dot
Speaker 1: com slash bad tv for free shipping on your order
Speaker 1: and three hundred and sixty five day returns now available
Speaker 1: in Canada too. That's qu I n ce dot com
Speaker 1: slash bad tv for free shipping and three hundred and
Speaker 1: sixty five day returns quints dot com slash bad TV.
Speaker 1: Today's episode is also brought to you by the marvelous
Speaker 1: people over at Loomy Gummies. Imagine if edibles made you
Speaker 1: feel good, not wonked. Out of your mind. Okay, you
Speaker 1: want to go to a movie, take an edible, Fine,
Speaker 1: don't take one of these nuclear ones. You won't even
Speaker 1: know what's going on.
Speaker 2: I took a nuclear one and I went to a movie.
Speaker 2: I thought I saw the honesty. I didn't see it.
Speaker 1: No, you saw that new movie with me.
Speaker 2: I saw Millions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you saw Minions and it listen, it felt epic.
Speaker 1: But that's what happens when you're way too high. Now,
Speaker 1: that won't happen with Loomy. If you need help with sleep,
Speaker 1: they got it. If you need help with anxiety, they
Speaker 1: got it. If you want to go to a movie,
Speaker 1: watch it and no concretely that you saw the movie
Speaker 1: that you paid for, They've got it. Consistent Meloon, super delicious.
Speaker 1: Lemmy Gummies are specifically designed to make you feel good,
Speaker 1: not stoned. All right, Yeah, Limmy Gummies are available nation.
Speaker 1: Why I go to loomigummy dot com. That's lumigummies dot
Speaker 1: com and use code bad TV for thirty percent off
Speaker 1: your order. Again, that's lumigummies dot com. Coode bad TV,
Speaker 1: lumgummies dot com code bad TV. Thanks Loomy. So Suzanne
Speaker 1: is making her second guess. Her talent. Joy I would say,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what you're gonna do, what you do,
Speaker 1: just get get done with this charter and get this
Speaker 1: woman off the boat. So Will and Suzanne have a
Speaker 1: lovely chat and a little smooch, and she's starting to
Speaker 1: get pretty turned up here.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean they're bonding over the superficiality of humans
Speaker 2: and their need to need to their struggle over beauty
Speaker 2: as humans. Right, isn't it like I.
Speaker 1: Wasn't paying attention to what they were saying.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh my god, isn't it so superficial to
Speaker 2: like want to be good looking for the rest of
Speaker 2: our lives?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, it's so superficial, Yeah, says two people with botox.
Speaker 1: All Right, So they head back and Asia is really
Speaker 1: invested in this whole thing, and go ahead.
Speaker 2: Well I was gonna say your honor.
Speaker 1: He just he I'm ready to testify, and the jury
Speaker 1: there cross example, Pat just raises his Kerman I say something.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is bullshit, this is bullshit. Kermit has
Speaker 2: been so sidelined, and I think she's so bored and
Speaker 2: so we're bored with her, and she's so I love
Speaker 2: as you do. Okay, she's trying to find like part
Speaker 2: like how she can be on film. So she's like,
Speaker 2: I'm interested in this. No you're not. You hate this.
Speaker 2: This sucks, But that's why she's saying I'm interested in this.
Speaker 2: She hates these.
Speaker 1: People are my good Okay, so where are we at?
Speaker 1: This has been a bad up. This has been bad
Speaker 1: so far? Right? No, not at all? Oh sure, I
Speaker 1: think it's probably well.
Speaker 2: As the book docks, the primary, Susan walks past the
Speaker 2: galley and tells Joy, are you dooks?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because we got a head back in because
Speaker 1: of the wind that'll come up with better.
Speaker 2: Primary Susan walks past the galley and she says to Joy,
Speaker 2: are you gonna bring Joy to the table tonight? And
Speaker 2: then she says, I really hope.
Speaker 1: So that's where I take a full bottle of vizine
Speaker 1: and I switch up the menu. I go, you know
Speaker 1: what we're doing French onion soup. And one of these
Speaker 1: bulls is getting all of this vizing it's going to
Speaker 1: Suzanne and if she dies, she dies because you cannot
Speaker 1: speak to me like that.
Speaker 2: Well, she said, I hope so, and as walking off,
Speaker 2: she said, I hope. So the second I really hope.
Speaker 2: So was the real fuck you to Joy? In my opinion,
Speaker 2: I did? Did Joy fuck your husband in a past life?
Speaker 2: What's wrong? Yeah, Suzanne, I'm gonna call her Susan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fine. So listen. It's super windy danger Will
Speaker 1: Robinson in the crows Nest. We've got the very intense
Speaker 1: kind of blade Runner how nine thousand kind of red lighting,
Speaker 1: and that's how you know it's serious. So while we
Speaker 1: sit down for dinner, we're gonna dog I'm glad you.
Speaker 2: Picked up that so dramatic music, uh, creative editing. For
Speaker 2: a minute there, they had me thinking, with all this
Speaker 2: incompetence going on, they're gonna smash that fucking boat again.
Speaker 1: No, you're kidding me, party bo Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: What do you mean? They're listening to fucking Mike Posner
Speaker 1: over there? Just focus on fucking docking. It's not a
Speaker 1: big deal. I love Mike Posner Viza. Yeah, Caitlin's a
Speaker 1: big Mike Posner guy.
Speaker 2: I know him. I got his phone. I got his number.
Speaker 2: Oh really call him right now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, why don't give him a call?
Speaker 3: Used to service his old fish pond together.
Speaker 1: That I you're gonna call Mike Posner right now. Don't
Speaker 1: fucking tell me. No, I'm not tempting you. I'm asking
Speaker 1: you to call Mike Posner. It's no tempt I'm just
Speaker 1: just saying, just you want me to call him? Right, yeah, Mike,
Speaker 1: call Mike Poster.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna fucking calm Dylan, you asshole.
Speaker 1: All right, Fine, the guy won that Mexican stand up,
Speaker 1: Yes you did, Okay, all right, So we sit down
Speaker 1: for dinner. One guy starts to move his hips in
Speaker 1: uh and his ass and an extremely un set I mean,
Speaker 1: he's very good at it, but yeah, it was just
Speaker 1: kind of alarming. So this is the same spot where
Speaker 1: we last hit the boat. The party boats right next door.
Speaker 1: They're listening to Pilnabiza. They're listening to other songs and oh.
Speaker 2: My god, they're always playing loud music.
Speaker 1: You kidding me? They duck. It's fine. We get to
Speaker 1: the first chorus, which is a tunisavice with avocado for
Speaker 1: the meat eaters. We're going to be doing a mole at.
Speaker 1: There's some clumsiness around describe being Let Molay do its thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: we don't have to call it chocolate sauce, right if
Speaker 1: if if we're gonna do mole let's just say that
Speaker 1: we're we're presenting a molay and and and just have
Speaker 1: people eat it. We don't need to kind of do
Speaker 1: this sloppy education for a bunch of drunk people at
Speaker 1: this table. Susanne's a foodie, so when the Molly gets
Speaker 1: sat down, she knows it's one of the most complex
Speaker 1: sauces in astronomy, and she says, ah, she's like Orson
Speaker 1: Wells and those outtakes Peace. No, not those ones. The
Speaker 1: who are you who's sucking to me? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. It's the Champagne one. You know that one
Speaker 1: o the French Champagne. This is a sparkling wad from
Speaker 1: Paul Mez song. He just throws up on the table
Speaker 1: Orson two young actors standing right next to him, like
Speaker 1: this is Orson Wells. This is crazy, and he's blackout
Speaker 1: Fame Fame. You know that song?
Speaker 2: Okay, you know that song?
Speaker 1: Okay, So this is you're telling me this isn't a
Speaker 1: bad episode. I keep going, all right, So we sit
Speaker 1: down for dinner. We're there, We're there, We're there. Okay.
Speaker 1: So Susanna is a booze bag she's on vacation. But
Speaker 1: enjoy yourself. We get a pat. I'm not even gonna
Speaker 1: say it. It's a it's a puff pastry with vanilla
Speaker 1: cream and salty caramel. And before everyone heads in, Joy
Speaker 1: heads up and she says, this is your dessert and
Speaker 1: enjoy your meal. And then Joy goes to walk down
Speaker 1: into the gay. There's a lot of cleaning to be done,
Speaker 1: and Susanne says, uh, way second, and everyone goes, what
Speaker 1: did she just say? And she says, I had food,
Speaker 1: get something, and then she starts to moan at the table.
Speaker 1: And this is where you go. I think it's time
Speaker 1: for night night, Okay, night night time? How many pots
Speaker 1: would you give this dinner?
Speaker 2: Well, we should start doing. I love a pot puff pastry.
Speaker 1: You love a puff pastry. You're a sweet boy.
Speaker 2: I hate moley though that's made on coffee grounds.
Speaker 1: Right, it's chocolate and.
Speaker 2: It should not be in Uh what was the protein there?
Speaker 1: Beef?
Speaker 2: I don't like it?
Speaker 1: And what about like a tunisaveatre?
Speaker 2: I don't like tuna. It's disgusting.
Speaker 1: Okay, So how many pots would you give? Even with
Speaker 1: the puff pastry and the vanilla cream? What was in
Speaker 1: the puff pastry, vanilla cream and salty care.
Speaker 2: That's the dessert five points, so.
Speaker 1: You'd give it five knots okay? So Amy continues to
Speaker 1: be tough. Susanne says, who should I lean towards? And
Speaker 1: this is where Amy said, this is this.
Speaker 2: Is where the matchmaker comes in, and this is this
Speaker 2: is where she shines.
Speaker 1: Yes, so this is when we bring in the equalizer. Right.
Speaker 1: It's been on Suzanne to whittle down her choices, and
Speaker 1: now she is stuck between two Kurt, who has some
Speaker 1: vague AI company, and Will, who I think does tantric
Speaker 1: retreats or something, okay, and she goes up to her
Speaker 1: match maker. She says, all right, first off, there are
Speaker 1: five of you right now, but I need some help.
Speaker 1: I'm stuck between two people. What should I do? And
Speaker 1: Amy says, as a matchmaker, my job is to do nothing.
Speaker 2: You are this is a direct quest. You are a
Speaker 2: strong woman. You'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: It's by paying the big bucks, all right. So Luke
Speaker 1: starts to get very melodramatic.
Speaker 2: This is the next morning or this is nighttime.
Speaker 1: Luke grabs his giant tiger pillow and he says, can
Speaker 1: you I mention fucking guy? With that in the bed. Okay,
Speaker 1: so he is kind of gassing him up, and he says,
Speaker 1: this is the last time be sleeping in this bed.
Speaker 1: The ceremony of this ending is not lost on him.
Speaker 1: This is a new chapter in his life. All right.
Speaker 1: So Amy did her thing, and then we get to
Speaker 1: drop off day. Well, yeah, today we finally find out
Speaker 1: who Susanne is going to be picking. But first we
Speaker 1: have Luke, who continues to be insane. He stands by
Speaker 1: Joy once again, lumbering and quiet and doesn't say anything, moping,
Speaker 1: and this is when he says, and I don't know
Speaker 1: if this is a verbatim quote, like I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: down standing up, but I'm gonna get as close as
Speaker 1: I can to what he says, because again it's crazy.
Speaker 1: When speaking of Joy, Luke says, I know I don't
Speaker 1: know her, but she means so much to me. It's
Speaker 1: really interesting that there are you know, on the outside,
Speaker 1: he just looks like a linebacker, right, kind of like
Speaker 1: a logging, hulking guy. But then he has these very
Speaker 1: like immature you know what I don't need to get
Speaker 1: we don't need to do. But he's probably listening. We've
Speaker 1: been talking about his come for a month. We don't
Speaker 1: need to get into all this stuff. But but yeah, okay, okay, I.
Speaker 2: Want to talk about this. He's a pretty manipulative guy.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm like. There are these petty emotional games
Speaker 1: that are being okay too, and it's just like, what
Speaker 1: is going on.
Speaker 2: Here's the saddest part. Him moping around is actually working.
Speaker 2: I know, I know on Joy Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 2: on the socials, a lot of people are like, Joy,
Speaker 2: thank you for telling this guy to fuck off. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but then we're gonna probably find out the two of
Speaker 2: them men out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we walked that. That whole thing back
Speaker 1: quite a little bit.
Speaker 2: By the way, We're gonna try and get Joy on.
Speaker 1: We'll try, all right. So Suzanne gets with Amy and
Speaker 1: she says, Kurt said something really insulting to me last night.
Speaker 1: He said that I was intoxicated. Cut cut back to
Speaker 1: I want to say something. I had a food or
Speaker 1: guys to night. So Kurt was making a correct observation. Uh,
Speaker 1: And Suzanne is Sunset Boulevard crazy.
Speaker 2: And also I would argue Kurt while he said that
Speaker 2: to you, that your main dude just said peace the
Speaker 2: fuck out.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: Don't want to be around it. So she heads out
Speaker 1: to the guys and she says, how is everybody up
Speaker 1: before me?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: You blacked out?
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: Suzanne says that she's she's going to pick Will and
Speaker 1: the alcohol still hasn't completely gotten out of her system.
Speaker 1: I don't think she's talking to Will and she's still
Speaker 1: a little kind of a little in the gloom.
Speaker 2: I was the couch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they have little private conversation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what happened last night? He's like, well, this is
Speaker 2: a direct quote, he said my U. I'll use this
Speaker 2: at some point if I ever get a caught leaving
Speaker 2: a party. Early ago, my social battery went south? The fuck?
Speaker 2: Does that? Me? Irish? Goodbye to you.
Speaker 1: There's a really funny sketch from I don't know the Friday.
Speaker 1: I think it's Friday Beers or something. There's this great
Speaker 1: sketch where they're laughing. It's it's four friends at a
Speaker 1: table and they're laughing, and this girl stands up and
Speaker 1: she goes.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: I'm done. I no longer have energy. I've said all
Speaker 1: the stories, I've laughed at all the jokes. I simply
Speaker 1: must leave, which is what we all want to do.
Speaker 1: When we're out.
Speaker 2: Dylan, do do that, and you have done that, especially
Speaker 2: when you were younger like I have. I'm leaving, and
Speaker 2: the younger you was much more honest and comfortable in
Speaker 2: your skin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally, Yeah, I'm leaving.
Speaker 2: I want to go what happens to us? You feel
Speaker 2: like we need to fit in and.
Speaker 1: Like Kate and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: But I hear what you're saying to do it, because
Speaker 2: I'll go as other creatures you go. I want you
Speaker 2: to lie to me more.
Speaker 1: You know what's happened, and I take what you're You're
Speaker 1: you're trying to tell me to be more rude again.
Speaker 2: But no, I'm not trying to tell you that. Well,
Speaker 2: I thought it was funny, but but.
Speaker 1: I really do want to get back to that place.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing.
Speaker 2: No one wants to be around someone who's honest.
Speaker 1: I know. And what what happens when you do things
Speaker 1: like that. I remember I told someone that that we
Speaker 1: know that they had to uh leave the house now,
Speaker 1: and that everyone was being very that everyone was uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Did not go over well. And there are a ton
Speaker 1: of instances. God, I remember that night so clearly. Everyone
Speaker 1: had said and then I was the one that said
Speaker 1: in front of everybody, you gotta go, and.
Speaker 2: I remember her.
Speaker 1: They all but they all backed off and they were like,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? This is fun? I go,
Speaker 1: You guys are all being cowards. This one needs to go. Okay,
Speaker 1: But what happens is there are so many uncomfortable moments
Speaker 1: that you have to massage your way through and apologize
Speaker 1: for that. It's better to just lie, always.
Speaker 2: Lie, lie, just lie, and then sneak out.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we get to Nate going into the room.
Speaker 1: The bag is blocking the door, and Nathan says, what's
Speaker 1: going on here?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? How old is giant tiger billow?
Speaker 1: I can't get over this tire pillow. But yes, it
Speaker 1: seems as though Luke is ready to confess I am
Speaker 1: leaving father. He says, it really awkward. He says, it's
Speaker 1: really awkward because I came on your sheets and I
Speaker 1: don't think that we can really get over that. And
Speaker 1: Nathan says, listen, I'm not going to tell anybody. Cut
Speaker 1: to two minutes later, literally everybody on the bus, I
Speaker 1: think Suzanne Thos.
Speaker 2: Every I mean, some of those dudes I don't even
Speaker 2: know their names, like, hey, did you hear this fucking
Speaker 2: guy who came on that bed?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's leaving, leaving.
Speaker 2: Can I back up for a second?
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: So despite the relationship not lasting between Suzanne and Will,
Speaker 2: probably forty five seconds past them leaving, Kermit says, I
Speaker 2: love love in any way that you meet someone, you
Speaker 2: shouldn't judge them, like whether it be meeting someone with
Speaker 2: a matchmaker or whatever. Because how she meant Scott was unconventional.
Speaker 2: Right did you see the look back?
Speaker 1: Yeah they will.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you. They meant both shitting in a bucket
Speaker 2: at an Empire of the Sun concern now and the
Speaker 2: rest was history.
Speaker 1: I love this song. They meant they went to high
Speaker 1: school with each other.
Speaker 2: They he had a bad haircut. Yeah, they hadn't found
Speaker 2: scatting yet as a bonding experience.
Speaker 1: Yes, turns out turning your asshole into an aerosol can
Speaker 1: in the presence of another can bring you close. That
Speaker 1: sounded crazy. We've just got to cut a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean, they say, episode is horrible.
Speaker 2: No, okay, people are gonna love it.
Speaker 1: Okay. So the last person that finds out is joy
Speaker 1: oh Luke tells her as though he.
Speaker 2: Loved telling her this, like he was departing like Leo
Speaker 2: in the Titanic, sinking down to the bottom.
Speaker 1: E it was Heath Ledger leaving in the Patriot, a
Speaker 1: more niche reference, and we probably should have just stuck
Speaker 1: with yours.
Speaker 2: But but but not like both of those, because he'll
Speaker 2: show up and FaceTime her in eighteen hours exactly.
Speaker 1: Heath wet Ledger's wife actually was burned alive, and uh,
Speaker 1: Leo died in the cold waters of the Indian Ocean
Speaker 1: I think, or the Arctic, wherever the Titanic was.
Speaker 2: I was Again, I'm not going to say I'm disappointed,
Speaker 2: joy because I'm such a douche douchebag, but you being
Speaker 2: so hurt that he's leaving because you were going to
Speaker 2: your plan was to come around him.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, ultimately we would have had a full blown
Speaker 1: come around and uh, that's not great.
Speaker 2: I'm glad I didn't get to see that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think everybody's happy now. Luke is cause playing
Speaker 1: boyfriend here, they're they're cause playing a relationship and it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's tough to watch. Now, Susanna's getting ready to pick
Speaker 1: Amy has chosen, uh Will and the kids take off now.
Speaker 2: Caitlin, can you look this up?
Speaker 1: There's it's the animal that that weirdos refer to most often.
Speaker 1: There's a smallest look up, smallest animal ever, period, possible
Speaker 1: ever bear bear, smallest animal bear. It's like this little
Speaker 1: thing sun bear. Is it like a microbe or something?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: The tartar grade?
Speaker 1: Is that what you're talking about? Yees? Yeah, it's some
Speaker 1: kind of bear Jen, a water bear Jen and John
Speaker 1: Cena and people who are just fucking weirdos will use
Speaker 1: this animal as a reference point. So she says, I
Speaker 1: have as much respect for Luke as a water bear. Now,
Speaker 1: water bears are have you ever seed a water It's
Speaker 1: like a maggot. It looks like a maggot. Yeah. So anyways,
Speaker 1: we get to the tip meeting. Now this is where
Speaker 1: Luke is going to give a speech.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he says he's leaving, and then he says this. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the same water that hardens the egg softens the potato. Now,
Speaker 2: before I get into what that means, I'll say what
Speaker 2: he should have said was, I'm sorry that I fire
Speaker 2: hosed your bed with dong water and didn't clean it up.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry about that. I didn't think about you I
Speaker 2: was a douchebag.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I apologize for that.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, girls, I'm sorry that I was a jerk to you.
Speaker 2: I I was a jerk. Jen I was a jerk.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I had sex with you and then I made you
Speaker 2: feel bad about doing it.
Speaker 1: At this point, everyone goes, you know what you can,
Speaker 1: It's fine, you don't need to talk at all.
Speaker 2: Right, let me get all right, fine, then let's get
Speaker 2: back to the uh A potato?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to. I want to dive down on
Speaker 1: this because the same water that hardens an egg softens
Speaker 1: a potato. What does that mean in relation to you
Speaker 1: ejaculating on your boss's bed and not cleaning it for
Speaker 1: three days?
Speaker 2: Funny you ask? Okay, this analogy is famous for resilience
Speaker 2: and adaptability.
Speaker 1: Oh got it.
Speaker 2: It has no connection to what's actually.
Speaker 1: Transpiring because if we look at the source material, it's
Speaker 1: actually a guy that came on his boss's bed and
Speaker 1: then quit.
Speaker 2: And screwed over two girls and hurt them.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: It means the exact opposite has no connection with anything
Speaker 2: that's transpiring.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, so okay, cool, Thank you Luke
Speaker 1: for uh I think Luke, was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: And I know that we've been shitting on the guy
Speaker 1: a lot, but he's just an endless supply of ammo.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And if you want to get him on cameo, you
Speaker 2: can either talk to him for three yeah, yeah, or
Speaker 2: you can talk to any of the captains for the
Speaker 2: same price, right right, So funk off. Okay, I'm trying.
Speaker 1: To help them, all right. So Jen is struggling with
Speaker 1: positive mindset. She's called Kayleia double crossing kunt, She's called
Speaker 1: Luke of Water. But she's spent in a negative headspace.
Speaker 2: So what you're talking about here is the rebrand.
Speaker 1: This is.
Speaker 2: This is Jen journey into zen Jen.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is zen Jen. This is Subway post Jared.
Speaker 1: We don't have we don't have that silly guy doing
Speaker 1: it anymore. No, we don't have them. Ouch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, now let's move on a coop. This
Speaker 2: one was the more fascinating aspect. I did not see
Speaker 2: this coming.
Speaker 1: So I Caitlen, can you do me a favor? Can
Speaker 1: we do a little check in on Jared from Subway?
Speaker 1: Has he been killed in prison yet? We don't need
Speaker 1: just we can keep going, but I do want to
Speaker 1: see what check he's up.
Speaker 3: To He's expected to be released in March of twenty
Speaker 3: twenty nine.
Speaker 1: So ooh ouch yikesh, my god, I know this. How
Speaker 1: long did he serve in prison for?
Speaker 3: He's currently serving his fifteen year and eight month sentence
Speaker 3: in Colorado. He pleaded guilty in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 2: Why don't you bring him up? Can we move the
Speaker 2: fuck on?
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's just like, well, what Pat and I are
Speaker 1: negotiating whether to talk about fifteen years is enough punishment
Speaker 1: for a child?
Speaker 2: It wasn't child porn. It was more than that, all right.
Speaker 2: So all right, so Coops, this is.
Speaker 1: Where Klen you got to get your vigilante suit on
Speaker 1: and you got to get him back in prison. All right.
Speaker 1: You know he midnights as a hero.
Speaker 2: He does yeah cheese man, Yeah, Jem.
Speaker 1: You know what his super super hero's bucket man. He
Speaker 1: takes the buckets of chicken that he eats and then
Speaker 1: he cuts eyes and he puts it on top of
Speaker 1: his head. He goes out and he fights cry but
Speaker 1: he gets winded.
Speaker 2: Really easily kill him. Calen. All right, Cooper, of all
Speaker 2: people did not see this coming. But I've heard this
Speaker 2: like as far as like society's work. When one douchebag leaves,
Speaker 2: someone will fill his spot.
Speaker 1: Well, we've talked about this. You know, the chimpanzee will
Speaker 1: cause you harm. And as we discussed with Coop, we
Speaker 1: were trepidacious to believe that he was this just southern
Speaker 1: bull that wanted to treat I think chivalry is dead,
Speaker 1: you know, And I love to open a car door,
Speaker 1: and I don't think that you should kiss. On the
Speaker 1: first day, cut to him slamming his tongue down the
Speaker 1: throat of Cat, which he's open to, and that's fine,
Speaker 1: but we were a little concerned. Kalin's bleeding. No big deal.
Speaker 1: Why do you guys bleed on this show so much?
Speaker 1: It's a lot of bleeding. Cooper is, at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, a sea rat, so we'll see whether
Speaker 1: or not he is going to hurt Cat.
Speaker 2: Now, what we're referring here is him kind of second
Speaker 2: guessing whether or not he wants to engage in a
Speaker 2: boat mance here with her, because you know, he's young,
Speaker 2: he's free, and what the fuck w how do you
Speaker 2: maintain a boat mance? She's gonna go on another vessel, yeh, Like,
Speaker 2: what does this do? He just wants to have fun.
Speaker 2: Course of all people, Joe says, Hey, I'm having a
Speaker 2: good time with kover.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think people Joe and k are actually doing
Speaker 1: it the right way. Now, good luck with He will
Speaker 1: expedite this and then burn it to the ground by
Speaker 1: the end of the season, I think, but we'll see.
Speaker 2: Can I say this personal story, Well, I don't think
Speaker 2: we've been going too long. I have only executed one
Speaker 2: sexual relationship. I know the female audience loves when they
Speaker 2: talk about this one hookup buddy as a friend over
Speaker 2: the course of like a six year period on and off,
Speaker 2: where we had we captured no feelings and just hooked up.
Speaker 1: It's very mature.
Speaker 2: Well I don't know if it's mature, but it was.
Speaker 1: I think it is. I think it's an emotional maturity
Speaker 1: to recognize that there is no emotion in this, that
Speaker 1: there's emotion in that. This is fun and I'm happy,
Speaker 1: but there's no messiness. You know, people get bogged down
Speaker 1: with that stuff very quickly. I mean, look at Little
Speaker 1: Kay and Coop or Kat and Coop. I mean they're
Speaker 1: completely confusing lust for love. Nathan heads out. He slams
Speaker 1: some espresso martinis, and he is a it's fine.
Speaker 2: Well before that, though, Gail yeah, says we fucking come home.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And so we get to Cooper, who wants to
Speaker 1: slow things down. He's sitting away from Kat at the
Speaker 1: dinner table and Cat's going, what's going on now? Joy
Speaker 1: and Kaylee. While Coop is talking about slowing things down,
Speaker 1: they're ramping things up. Actually, they're slamming one another against
Speaker 1: walls of bathrooms and making out, which is really fun
Speaker 1: for them. Now Nathan is asked to head out from Gail,
Speaker 1: and we get a text from Luke to Joy and
Speaker 1: he says, just because I've left doesn't mean I've given
Speaker 1: up on us.
Speaker 2: Now, why do you like this guy and you're trying
Speaker 2: to protect him from I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't like him at all. I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: like him at all.
Speaker 2: All of this was like chivalry, Like I'm leaving with honor.
Speaker 1: To get into to get into the psychology of him,
Speaker 1: I felt was unnecessary because it's just way too boring
Speaker 1: to do a deep dive on. But I don't think
Speaker 1: that he's a good guy by any stretch, so we.
Speaker 2: Should continue to bust his ball.
Speaker 1: That's fine.
Speaker 2: This is such a douche.
Speaker 1: Move it is, well, it's not just a douche move.
Speaker 1: It's insane. I mean, this guy's insane. What reality are
Speaker 1: you living in where you're sending texts like this to
Speaker 1: people you don't know?
Speaker 2: By the way, if you don't think for one fucking second,
Speaker 2: he asked production if he could go out there and
Speaker 2: meet for dinner.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, They're like no, Luke. All right. So Cooper
Speaker 1: is talking to some random ladies from Myrtle Beach and
Speaker 1: Kat sees this, and given the distance that she's felt
Speaker 1: at dinner and now this, she and he have to
Speaker 1: have a conversation. They head out into the rain of
Speaker 1: Croatia to discuss hearts breaking, romance, growing, commitment, evolving. You
Speaker 1: guys are sea rats? I mean, what are we doing
Speaker 1: here with this? What was the movie with Rachel mccadic.
Speaker 2: I want to point out something here though. There is
Speaker 2: something I want to teach my kids, which is an
Speaker 2: inner instinct that she's feeling no matter what he tells
Speaker 2: her while he was making out with her out there
Speaker 2: in the rain, which is, I'm coming back to you.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize I hurt you. She felt something, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and no matter what he tells her while he's kissing her,
Speaker 2: he's lying to her, he's checked out, he wants the
Speaker 2: fuck out of it.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you? You just kind of bubbled up
Speaker 1: in an IRL bit? Like life bits. I've seen these lately.
Speaker 1: They're called life bits. So like if you're on the
Speaker 1: phone with somebody and you're in front of other people
Speaker 1: and you're being a little rude, the conversation is going
Speaker 1: on too long. When you're done with the conversation, you go,
Speaker 1: I don't know who that was. It's like a lifebit.
Speaker 1: If you refer to The Notebooks, that James Marsden movie,
Speaker 1: would that just gets me tickled?
Speaker 2: Okay, James Marsden.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that movie that James Marson was in The Notebook.
Speaker 2: The Notebook, Yeah, that movie that Ryan Gosling.
Speaker 1: Now, James Marsden, We've got to stop recording this podcast
Speaker 1: Dereliction of Duty tonight. Okay. So they kiss in the
Speaker 1: rain and Nate heads home. It is not great at
Speaker 1: the homestead. I have a feeling who.
Speaker 2: Had this idea that filming this would be interesting.
Speaker 1: Little baby seems like he's he's a tough, tough rearring.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is an easy baby by any stretch.
Speaker 1: There are babies that are much easier than other babies.
Speaker 2: What's your baby easy?
Speaker 3: The first one was much easier than the second.
Speaker 2: I will say that, thanks for shitting my point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how could you not shot on your point of us?
Speaker 1: And insanely, how was yours impossible? Mine?
Speaker 2: Both of mine?
Speaker 1: Okay, your baby's slept all day? You had easy babies.
Speaker 2: I was drunk, all right.
Speaker 1: So we get a little bit of a a late
Speaker 1: night emergency, but not before Cooper is told by Kaylee, Hey,
Speaker 1: this is the problem. You took around on a date.
Speaker 1: You should just have sex with each other and then
Speaker 1: everything will be fine. But when you take people out
Speaker 1: on dates, that's when things get a little confusing.
Speaker 2: Now, when you have sex with someone, that's when it gets.
Speaker 1: But also the dates are probably more confusing to see
Speaker 1: rats than sex. Late night emergency. The storm is a
Speaker 1: little like a little bit like with those boys. Uh
Speaker 1: sail Down of Massachusetts went through.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, the perfect storm. Yeah, one of the worst
Speaker 2: films ever made. Uh George Clooney putting on a Gloucester accent.
Speaker 2: That was laughable.
Speaker 1: Uh huh. Mark Wilber.
Speaker 2: Even worse.
Speaker 1: I'm our Wilbert.
Speaker 2: Hilarious.
Speaker 1: I get up at three in the morning.
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, we're gonna do this. Yep, I got kill
Speaker 2: some Those waves are huge. Look at those waves. What
Speaker 2: I think We're gonna die? Okay, that movie was laughable.
Speaker 1: We are done recording it shows two hours later he
Speaker 1: was bad at his job. We'll we'll get there next week.
Speaker 1: The fallout from this is going to be insane. The
Speaker 1: boats and is two hours late to work and has
Speaker 1: told no one anything.
Speaker 2: Can you believe that he's going to be fire right?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah? I think what happens is his back will
Speaker 1: go out and he'll be removed from from the boat,
Speaker 1: which will be good for everybody, especially Gail and the baby.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's not a shift at target. It's you're
Speaker 1: the boswin of the boat. You can't just show up
Speaker 1: two hours late and not text anybody.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you something? This is what happens when
Speaker 2: you're on your third season of a reality TV show.
Speaker 1: Totally you yep, totally. And that's where you got to
Speaker 1: give Asha credit. Because Asha's been on many, many seasons
Speaker 1: still recognizes there's a certain amount of professionalism. Let's not
Speaker 1: let the ego get too big.
Speaker 2: And that's why production loves her exactly.
Speaker 1: It's it's why the best like the best actors keep working.
Speaker 1: The best actors, even though they're super famous, know to
Speaker 1: be courteous to people, remember people's names. Nathan is like, uh,
Speaker 1: he's got like Paris Hilton energy at this point. All right,
Speaker 1: get in the comments. Let us know you thought about
Speaker 1: the episode. We'll be back next week. Join us to Patreon.
Speaker 1: I'm dning saying good bye. Pat sag Balen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, distant, extinct, extinct at
Speaker 1: The distant