Speaker 1: This is not.
Speaker 2: Due to be.
Speaker 3: On your life down. It's time to stray from the
Dota cause you'll find no be survive. Side Courast.
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, and welcome to side Quest, the every other
week authors and Dragon's podcast in which we well don't
play a game. Sometimes we talk to guests, sometimes we
tackle important topics, and sometimes we just talk about ship
that we want to talk about. In case you're wondering
which one this this one's gonna be, well, Dick, yeah,
you probably already figured that out.
Speaker 1: We don't even have a third person. It's just us.
Speaker 2: Hey on Rick Qualterion joining me today is MK Guatemala
Quaddy to his friends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you know what, I see what you're trying
to do there. It's cute. Like yeah, like I said,
we were supposed to do this earlier. We're talking about
doing this earlier today. But uh my wife hit parking cones,
some of some a stack of three traffic cones had
fallen from however, in the middle of the road, she
didn't see them in time, ran right over them, and
then shortly thereafter she calls me she said, hey, I
had to pull into this right right parking ride Bright
Share place near where we live. She's like, long story short,
warning light came on, the engine light came on. The
cool like blah blah blah, Like you probably okay, you
probably tore something out of the bottom. You're probably leaking
cooling is what's probably happening. So I drove out to
where she was at, checked and checked it. Yes, it's
bone dry. She calls triple A. Triple A hauls the
card of the place we went and picked the food
for dinner. And so that's why I didn't think we're gonna
be a record tonight. But yet here we are.
Speaker 2: So we find traffic Gibbie's wife zero.
Speaker 1: Well, it's also a situations where like the sun was
being a little bit of a pain in the ass
in the car, so wife was distracted, you know. So
you know, don't parent angry and don't drive angry. That's
that's the that's the that's the motto here.
Speaker 2: Well, that's as as much as I would love to
spend the next hour talking about, you know, your wife
and her inexplicable hatred of traffic cones, I was.
Speaker 1: Just walking the fans in like them to know it's
just people. But you know what, let's go balls deep
we're here for Transformers people. More than meets the eye,
it meets the fucking I motherfuckers. That's right. So Rick
and I recently just saw the Transformers one animated movie,
and we figured we got to talk about we got
to talk about a little bit do we like it?
Do we not like it? And then while we're talking
about that, we of course have to talk about all
the transfer movies that are out there. So let's start
with it first, Rick, did you like Transformers One?
Speaker 2: I liked it, you know, quite quite a bit. I mean,
if we're gonna give it, like, you know, a rating
out of say ten, I would probably say a solid seven,
maybe even an eight. You know what? Was it perfect?
But going in, like, my thing is, did the movie
deliver what I wanted to deliver? Right? And what I
didn't want to deliver? And I know this movie has
gotten this movie has gotten a lot of us black
because well, I think Hasbro's initial marketing for it completely
fucking sucked.
Speaker 1: Oh it did shit the bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they pretty much put it out there as like
a goofy comedy, yes, and well it's it has comedic bits,
but it's not it's actually it's actually a relatively deep movie.
So I guess if.
Speaker 1: You take your young kids to see this, it could
scar them some of the things that happened in this movie.
Because here's the thing, if it really was, it doesn't
hurt the half the cast or Marvel people. It really
do did have like mcu like feeling, some of that
some of that schmalty m mcu humor kind of here
and there. You know, you know Thor's the voice of
Optimus Prime. You know the Fastos from the Turtles, the
voice of Megatron. Of course, Scarlett Johanssen is a leital one.
You know, it's such a so forth and so on.
So you have Marvel a lum cat like playing these characters.
I personally I put it like, I give it around
that eight and a half mark. Now, I really had
a lot of fun with it. I have critiques, but
I had so much fun with it. And the more
I think about it, the more I really think about it,
this might have hit on more levels of Transformers that
I personally have wanted from a cinematic experience than pretty
much anything else out there has. I love the eighty six.
I'm sure we'll get into that, but that felt like
it was more like, hey, you know therese toys that
you love and grow up with. Fuck you, here's the
new batch.
Speaker 2: And look, Optimist Prime is dying again.
Speaker 1: Exactly. They get like over my head behind me, I
got a little shrine of Prime. I got my eighty
six like Transformer. I got the big like the what
the big ones called the other?
Speaker 2: Oh, the masterpiece, masterpiece, thank you, yep, I got mine
behind you can't see him, but if you look above
my shoulder this way, you can kind of see star
stars screaming, prowling. Optimist Prime is right behind them.
Speaker 1: That's awesome, man. So yeah, like we I really enjoyed
it because, like I didn't see what came out theater,
because honestly, I saw the trailer for and I'm like,
I'm not gonna go to the theater to see this.
I'll wait till it comes to a streaming service. Because
it looked unfortunately kind of kitty. I saw it. It
looked cute. I'm like, nothing about me, nothing about this
makes I'm gonna want to rush out and give my
twenty dollars to go sit in the theater to watch
this at the moment. And I was wrong. I was wrong.
I wish I kind of had seen on a big
I'm a big ass TV too. I got an eighty
five inch TV. I love my TV. Oh yeah, but yeah,
I know exactly. That was a gift from That was
a forty fifth birthday gift from me to me.
Speaker 2: Happy prick diad to me from the person I love
most me.
Speaker 1: I know it. I told my wife, See, look at
the look at the best person who knows me got
for me the thing I always wanted. Uh but yeah,
it was like I wanted a four K, eighty five
big ass TV at the soundbar, so I have it
in the family room. It turned the lights off and
I got like the back low lights, so I have
a theater like experience. But I wish I had seen
this on a giant screen.
Speaker 2: Went it didn't like You're like your kid walking in
and be like, Dad, I have a question. The favorite
child is speaking.
Speaker 1: Be gone, It's it's okay, TV. He didn't mean to
interrupt you. I'm sorry. You know, like I love you most,
you don't ask for college money. Yeah, porn looks great
on it, but point is, like I wanted to see
in a theater.
Speaker 2: I would imagine Porton would look disturbing on it because
because I'm ean for four certain things, you don't want
to see it. Four K.
Speaker 1: We turn the lights off for a reason at a
certain age, especially so I don't need to see all that.
But uh yeah, it was one of those things I
wish I had seen it. I wish I had saw it,
seen it whatever in the theater and the biggest screen possible,
because it was so much fun and I want to
I look forward to rewatching it again to look for
all the things that I missed the first time around.
If you have not to get a chance to see
its streaming on Paramount Plus, so if you got a
friend with the Paramount Plus, if you have Paramount Plus,
if you just want to get the true free try
and check it out. I do recommend watching this flick
is if your transfers fan, it is a lot of fun.
Speaker 2: Or if you have a tikatok account. The motherfucker's there
pretty much put up the entire fricking movie like in
three minute intervals.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, that's always fun. But so what I worry
somebody warrious thoughts, impressions? What do you likes and your dislikes?
Speaker 2: There? Rick, I mean, I was Honestly, my dislikes were
just like you know, there were a few minor, little
little plot points that like, you know, they could have
been a little more, a little clearer on, you know,
like the Quintessians were kind of just like almost a
back like you know, almost an afterthought say with like
you know, the the primes and stuff. But the most
part it was it was solid, like I said, had
equal parts. It was funny. One thing, one thing I
really liked about it was there was a real tragic
aspect to it. Yes, that like that that kind of
hit heart and and I gotta and I gotta say,
uh you know the two like uh, actually, like all
the voice actors did a really good job. They did,
you know, like like Crimson Chris Hemsworth is like he's
able to make you forget that he's Australian.
Speaker 1: Well, his his American comes through from time to time
in his quasi he there's a time or two his
Australia and almost like that foth fake the war British
kind of accent came through a time to time. But
here's the thing. He did a good job, especially at
the mhen he gives the rousing speech. He started kind
of emulating the Peter Cullin and of end of the
Bay Formers that this message goes out to you any
card doing that thing. And really it did work for
me because when he's when he's young oryon packs, he
is playful, he's youthful, he's juvenile al, he's mischievous, and
I enjoy all of that, honestly, the one the one
that kind of got me like I did not care.
I mean, I like the actor. I like Brian's Tyree Henry,
but I don't like him as Megatron or D sixteen.
Speaker 2: I be honest, I disagree. Like like he started off
and like you know him him and like you know,
Ryan Packs are bros and stuff, and like I bought it,
and then like you know, as the story went on,
his voice gets more and more intense, And is is
he Frank welcome Megatron the problem? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe I'm biased, Maybe I have the Frank Welker bias,
because at least here's that Hemsworth has got a reverberation
to his chest that he's got like like an extra
vocal cord, you know, like that like kind of like
that you feel that that breadth, that depth, he's trying
to when he does the big boy voice. Uh, I
don't get the same from mister Henry. I like him
in a lot of projects, but he feels more dry
and raspy. He He would have probably made a good
star scream. I'm not really feeling him as Megatron, but
again that's because I am tainted by uh, mister Welker, Sir,
frank uh, Frankie, if you're nasty? Uh it did, dude,
it didn't work for me. But for those who have
seen the movie when Starscream does show up and it's
freaking Steve Buchevy as the voice of Starscream, like that
one did not work for me. I Hey there, fellow Transformers,
how are you so?
Speaker 2: Yeah? But you know, you know they kind of played
it up a bit, you know that that I mean, yeah,
and I mean one, I mean, as as a g
one fan. One thing I really loved is the fact
that they had so many recognizable like you know, before
they were Transformers, like you know, like like it was
like it was like a who's who of Okay, I
know that guy.
Speaker 1: Because you saw the forms and the characters, you know,
you could sit there, you could basically freeze almost any shot.
You start picking on people that you knew from back
and then like, oh, there's sites Wipe, there's Hound, there's Jazz,
there's there's Ratchet, there's you know, they're all you really
start picking out these people. So uh I really what
I what I got out of the movie is like
there was a lot of heart. There was a lot
of heart. There was a lot of love and care
that went to the people who cared about this property.
I think just named the guy. The director was Josh Cooley,
and he it's clear that him and is a writing team.
Uh care. They cared about the property and they put
it in there, more so than I felt from a
lot of the other like people who attempted to make
the Transformers.
Speaker 2: Movements, Like there wasn't like even though Michael his name
was attached to as a producer, there wasn't that Michael
Bate contempt yes attached to it. This is I'm not
making this for nerves. I'm making this for cool.
Speaker 1: Guys who liked hot chicks and flashy cars.
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, I know, I know you're heard
seat Transformers, but let's let's look at like it. Let's
look at the US military blowing shit up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I lived that for twenty years. Like sometimes
I just want robots beating up other robots, you know, well.
Speaker 2: I mean that was that was probably I say that
was probably one thing I loved absolutely about this is
it takes place one hundred percent on Cybertron. There's not
a fucking human insight.
Speaker 1: Right, not a human insight? Uh it is. So we're
gonna go into the plot here in a minute of folks,
So like, this isn't gonna be a spoiler like cast
any here. But at the same time, it's like, it's
not gonna hurt you like to really see because no
matter what we say, it's still not gonna do majesty
to the cinematics, the CGI. The animation was great, the
humor is mostly good. Uh, I'm gonna be action is fantastic.
I don't think you need to worry about spoilers because
here's the thing. If you care about this movie at all,
you just know what the fuck's happening. Yeah, And if
you don't know what's happening, you probably don't give a
shit about this movie. So, and if you're listening to us,
you're already fans of A and D. So you know,
we got your money already, so suck it. So, I mean,
what anyway, moving onto the plot? Dunt dunt it? Okay,
So I'm gonna go through the plot. I'm pulling this
just off a Wipedia. I'm'a just kind of kind of
skim over this. But Rick, anytime you feel you want
to just pause me up. You want to talk about
a scene, so that's stuck out in your memory, just
stop me as we go.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Cybertron, it's a planet inhabited by sentient robots fueled by
substance called energyn and fitted with transformation cogs, devices that
allow these people to rope these people, these transformers to
transform into vehicles in the city of Iicon. Orion Packs
is a mining robot without a cog, and he sneaks
into the archive and watches the documentary on the primes.
I'm gonna stop there because I loved how this opened up,
because he gave you all the backstory, because he's watching
a history report. He's snuck in like it's a beautiful scene.
He sneaks in and he's watching this history log and
it fills you, the audience in on any backs you
needed to know.
Speaker 2: Yes, here's our exposition scene. But it works. It's in
you know something, and it works better than then giving
us some like some tech scrawl.
Speaker 1: Somehow Palpatine returns.
Speaker 2: Somehow Megatron returned.
Speaker 1: Yes, so security guards catch our friend to Ryan. They
do his best to catch him, but through a herring escape,
he tries to get out of there, but he then
he eventually gets caught, but his friend D sixteen bails
him out. D sixteen wink wink is Megatron or soon
to be Later a caven occurs. Okay, now this this
this whoever wrote this wiki page? As they sucks? Yeah, okay,
so Oriyan and D sixteen are bestest of buds. He
even got him a sticker to carry around on his
chest and it's the it's the Decepticon symbol because this
time one of the Decepticons or excuse me, megatronis Prime
is one of these these great primes who rick you
want to fill peoplen't know what a prime is or
or the history of the primes. Okay, so crime is himself.
Speaker 2: So there's there's a lot of like there's a lot
of different continuities of Transformers, but generally, like speaking, there's
there's concept that the thirteen Primes of the first thirteen
Transformers that were created, you know, they're kind of like,
you know, I guess the Greatest generation if you if
you will, it's.
Speaker 1: Somewhere like Jesus and his Disciples.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. And in most continuities, megatronis becomes the fallen
because he decides to go evil. But they didn't go
that route here, instead of instead of like you know,
living long enough become the villain. Oh, spoiler alert, you
know he still dies. He dies a hero instead, Yes,
as do all of the other you know, primes. In fact,
that's pretty much the gist of the story is that,
you know, Cybertron is kind of in a post golden age.
It's no longer and it's like in its prime because
the great Primes are like are are dead. The matrix
of the leadership, which like gave them their power and
made them like you know, essentially Robot Jesus is missing
and basically Megatron.
Speaker 1: The thing is like this, this is the matrix as
long as it's with the leading living Prime and er
John flows like milk and honey out of the center
of Cybertron. Which I do like about this because it
basically alludes to that Cybertron is Primus. Primus was the
first Prime, but he's basically the opposite of Unicron. So
he is this ball, he is this transformer, a giant
planet that we're all they're all living on top of,
and it's basically his blood and juice that flows out
that gives the other Transformers who walk on his body
life and it's kind of cool in that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it kind of like think of it, like to
put it in Robert Bevern terms. I think if you
had a whole bunch of like you know, a whole
bunch of little creatures living on your on your dick and.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, I
don't need it, but I don't need my skin children
drinking my flu is Like it's kind of like if.
Speaker 1: Jesus was inside of the center of the Earth and
his blood flew flo Okay, So our friend of Ryan
packs soon to be Wapping's Prime a D sixteen, soon
to be Megatron. They are miners, they are second class citizens.
They don't have a cag and they work down in
the minds with alital one. She's like their they're foreman
who like mind them and night. Now, the one thing
that's interesting about this this particular uh, this particular movie
is it without saying it directly, it deals a lot
with body autonomy, and it deals with class warfare and uh,
those who have the haves and have nots. Some of
these people were born without cogs, which is a lot
it was taken from them. So there are who they
are as people was taking from them as when they
were came online kind of thing. And these there are
a lot of these themes that that are pervasive throughout
the movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a bit of a robotic feudal system.
Speaker 1: Yes, all right. So but there's one great leader on
cyber China. His name is Sentinel Prime, and he's got
everybody convinced that he's up on top of the He
goes with the surface all the time looking for the
matrix of leadership. He swears he's looking for it. And
he was like, because with the energy on not flowing,
they have to like deep, they have to mind deep
to find just the life giving energy to get them allowed. So, uh,
where we oryan?
Speaker 2: Okay, can we just skip this because this read through suck?
It does the movie? We know what happens.
Speaker 1: I'm just feeling like long story, short man. There is
like a great there the chase scene so Aryan a
D sixteen. So Ryan's trying to convince his buddy, Hey,
that's the dynamic. Ryan is the ever optimist. He's like,
we've got to try, We've got to try. Maybe we
can seek him to find the metrix. Maybe we could
do this, maybe we could do that. D sixteen soon
to be Megatron says just follow your program, stop breaking
the rules, and he's like okay. Then unfortunately he gets
them stuck into this this giant race. This race gets
the noticed they said, as long as we be one
real Transformer were we're not nobody's anymore. And they try
like hell and it's a great scene. Unfortunately, they get
so close to the finish line, but they don't pass.
But they get the attention of Setinel Prime. But they
also got the attention to the wrong people. They got
sent down to the lowest level of Cybertron where they
meet who do they meet?
Speaker 2: They need be one seven bad Arod? Yes, who who?
It might be the first movie version of Bumblebee, who
I don't didn't immediately.
Speaker 1: Hate really okay because he has getting a lot of
flat because I like Eegan Michael Kay. He is the voice.
He is a famous from T and Feel and a
bunch of other things. He is the vo he is
voicing uh Bumblebee. But he's getting a lot of flak
for being for this version of Bumblebee. Like this, I'm
I'm actually intrigued. You said that you liked him, so
I want to hear what what do you like?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean norm okay, so normal, okay, So I
have never been a fan of the whole Michael Bay
you know, Beaba up, you know, can't speak bullshit version
and Bumblebee and g One was just he was basically
just there to essentially give the humans a friend.
Speaker 1: Well because he was like the smallest, useless Yeah. Well
he's also just barely bigger than a human's Like yeah,
you know, so.
Speaker 2: So so that I mean that, like I've so, I
haven't really liked a lot of versions of Bumblebee. Like,
you know, the non talking I thought was dumb because
it's a robot. Get another just just well pull a
speaker out of your car and put it in there,
and uh, you know, like the whole friend to all
children thing. Yeah, I don't. I don't care about that.
But this version of Bumblebee I like because you know,
when you meet him, he's a little bit bad shit. Yeah,
you know, he's been alone for a long time. He's loopy,
and he like I'll prefer for he doesn't really feel
like Bumblebee. But I think that's part of the reason
why I liked him. You know, yes, he's young, he's enthusiastic,
but there's also, like you know that, a bit of
a crazy quality to him, and let's be honest, later
in the movie, there's a bit of a ruthless quality
to him, where he essentially just just says, wait, I
can kill people. I like killing people. I don't know how. Yeah,
I don't know how Bumblebe didn't wind up as the
first Decepticon recruit after that ship. But uh, but I
think I think that's why I like like. I liked
him just because I found him to be likable, which
I haven't.
Speaker 1: Mix opinion because I like him. I mean, obviously, I
I grew up loving the g One, uh, the Transformers
cartoon version of bumble Bee, because it's just I was
a kid, you know, I was a kid, and I
loved it and I love seeing that guy because it's
like I was a kid and Spike's a kid, and
that's like fairly bigger than me, you know, and I
want to transformer a palaque and get inside of it
and right around have adventures with uh. You know, it
wasn't like kids, like like the humans first met Ravage,
you know, like you know, it's like it was like
something that was approachable. And that's the think. Bumblebe was
always approachable, but he didn't let his side stop. He's
like he was still in the fight regardless. This version
of him is a little like and I I'm he's
a little like Donkey to Shrek in the way of
he has big Eddie Murphy energy when it comes to
how he's doing his comedic bits, commenting on what's going
on around him. So if you don't mind Donkey, you
won't mind bumble Bee. If you do have problems with Donkey,
you might got some issues.
Speaker 2: Excuse one, like you know, comic comic relief, Like yes,
this is probably the first version of bumble Bee. I
actually light so as it will all right.
Speaker 1: So when they're down there meeting Bumblebee, they they come
across a piece of a cryptic cryptic information that got
lost in the lowest level, which leads them to potentially
knowing where the matrix of leadership with the primes. It
was a last radio communication. It's up on the surface
and they've got coordinates. So they're like, hey, if we
can get up there, get up there or in or
give it this information a sentinel, we might be able
to hear us. So D sixteen Bumblebee and Optimist are
soon to be optomis of Ryan try to sneak him
to the surface and they unfortunately their their boss Alida
one finds them the cool train ride surf cool train
ride a montage battle action piece to the surface, which
was very reminiscent of Across Across the Spider Verse where
they're taking that train to the train of the Moon
kind of feel, and next thing you know, boof throw
on the surface. The surface is messed up. They haven't
they've never been to the surface. They have they don't
know who this grass is. They don't know what these
robotic deer are. They don't know like, oh my god,
is that a quick sun warship in the sky and
why is that there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the robotic dear I could have done without.
Speaker 1: I I like it because it's it shows that, like
you know, on the top of Primus or Cybertron or
whatever you want to say it, you know, their other
life has formed, but they've been so cloister down to
icon City that they've never seen what else is up there,
you know, like they're not the only living things on
this planet.
Speaker 2: And so basically these proboduct hear they're living on like
you know on Primus, they're they're essentially it's like giant fleas.
But yeah, but yeah, like Cybertan is a little more
feel is meant to be. It comes across as a
little more organic that I would prefer. But again, you know,
there's a there's artistic you know, stuff to go in
to play here, and I guess they're kind of showing
that life finds a way, even though they've been told
that the surface is un the habitable whatever.
Speaker 1: So but following the signals they end up getting. They
they find the location where the Primes were, and what
they find is a graveyard. They find all the Primes
are dead and it's harrowing. It's horrible. They've been there
so long that there's moss and things growing on them.
And it's it's it's set. But then they find one
prime that's not a prime, but a prime who's still
just in low power mode. They give us men or John,
and it's Alpha frecking Tryon, voiced by Morpheus himself, whose
name is escaping me right now, and I cannot Lawrence Fisher, Laurence,
mister Laurence Fisher, thank you, And he's the voice of
Alpha Tryon, and he gives basically like the second part
of the the here's all the exposition you need to know,
Like Sentinels a dick, he backstabbed this and all the
primes got dead because of it.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: So he goes, hey, what's why don't you guys have
transformation cogs. He's like, we don't have them. Weren't born
with him. He's like, no, you're all born with them.
We we That's not that's not the case. So he
pulls starch playing transformation cogs out of these dead primes
and gives it to our quartet of heroes who've never
had this before. Crazy action ensues and they're Nowi're trying
to transfer the first time and failing miserably, and I'm
actually laughing at this because it shouldn't be. But it's
so slapsticky.
Speaker 2: You know, that's like here, here's your here's your here's
your dead grandpa, here's his teeth. Put him in your
mouth to sing her mouth. It doesn't to wash him first,
just say it's just jump down on these motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: So they're trying to escape these Quinnissan worship who's following
them around? And who do they come across? They eventually
stumble their way and because you know, this is kind
of a big D and D eventually for one party
the next and they stumble into what's known as the
High Guard. These are people, well you just skip.
Speaker 2: A major plot point is that they observe the fact
that Sentinel, who's been telling them all this ship about
oh how he stopped the war, he stuffed Quintin hunts,
he's actually working for them. They're essentially every all everything
they're doing, they're slaves to these guys.
Speaker 1: Yes, he all the energy on that they're actually mining
up there, giving to the Quintissans. He bends a knee
to them, blah blah blah, or some could argue, you know,
he broke her to piece because the Quintis sons were
just better than all these Transformers and they couldn't beat him.
So you know, no, he's the guy's a punk. He
didn't want to he didn't want to serve under the Primes.
He's a douche. John Ham is the voice of Sentinel Prime,
and he's man, he's great, Like he is a great villain.
I like, I like one of her. John Ham's a
bad guy. Uh so our quartet they come across the
what's known as the High Guard. These are warlord robots
who used to be They were trying to hunt and
expose Sentinel. They've been on the surface forever. And who
who are they? Who do we know them as Rick
the Seekers? Well yeah, exactly, but also well.
Speaker 2: Basically this is the three in charge are like, you know,
are the big the big three Decepticons after Megatron. Yeah,
sound Wave, shock Wave and Star Scream. It's a lot
of waves, you know.
Speaker 1: See, that's where I got a little bit goofy. Like
that's a lot of waves where like someone punches like
shocks like oh my one blinking eye ow, you know,
like because he's you know, it's it's it's a little goofy.
Speaker 2: But there's there's some goofy. There's some goofiness there, but
you know, for the most part, for the most part,
the jokes, the jokes kind of land.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they're fun. It is a fun flick. So eventually, oh,
Central Prime's his his top enforcer, air Rachnid, who I like.
I like Iraqnid. She's like she transforms in like that,
it looks like a drone looking helicopter, but when she's
in robot form, she's like a walking spider and it's
creepy how she mops, and I like that. But so
she tracks them down a bigger fuffle, and half of
them get captured and half of them stay behind. So
Megatron and and Bumblebee and a few of the guys
are all captured and taking a Central Prime and forced
to bend a knee and Megatron will not bend.
Speaker 2: And this is pretty much where like you know, the
the movies finale comes into play. Though it's like, you know,
Optimist goes and like rallies the miners, giving an Optimist
like speech even though he's not quite optimist yet, you
know about how they're like, how they're not worthless, how
they can rise up, you know, in the meantime, you know, uh,
the central Prime is pretty much smacking around Megatron or
pre Megatron, torturing them essentially kind of like driving them,
driving them over the edge, which which basically this this
is the point where like, really I think, like you know,
both both characters have the defining moment that sets them
on their path, you know very much.
Speaker 1: So basically when it comes down to the end, it
is like after the big battle scene, Megatron wants to
kill Sentinel Prime and Optimist is like, no, we don't
have to kill him. Everyone knows. Now everybody knows, and
someone tells, someone takes a shot. Optimist gets in the
way and tries to like, he's like, we shouldn't do this,
almost falls off the edge of Megatron captures and sayd now,
these guys have been brothers this whole time. They've been
best friends this whole time. And this is where Megatron
lets Optimists fall. He's like, no, I'm done, I'm done
saving you this time. This time, I'm not saving you.
And let's make and let's Optimist fall or the soon
to be Optimists because now that he falls, the spirit
of Primus sees the self sacrifice that our impact is
willing to do and transforms him one more time into
full fledged Optimists, which is badass.
Speaker 2: But in the meantime, Megatron has a similar transformation. He
overcomes Sentinel, He kills the shit out of Sentinel, and
he takes sentinels cog, which turns out to have belong
to Megatron's Prime. Who is Mega who is right? You know,
D sixteen's favorite he puts in his chest. He pretty
much gets another upgrade, and that's the point where he
pretty much is it, declares himself to be Mega fucking Tron.
Speaker 1: And as has all good things, all best friends must
fight eventually because that's just the less the law of
best friendship. Optimus Prime then has to face Megatron and
a great, big duel, and man, nothing makes me happier
like during that one scene when every release was gone
and a giant glowing battle Ax appears in optim s
Prime scan. He's like, oh, and then it is on
like donkey kong uh. They have a great battle, you know,
and good you know, Megatron is defeated off his Prime
stands tall. Megatron escapes, get we get he kind of
lets him he like leave the city forever or or
that's it. We're not you know, I'll kill you.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 1: Megatron and the rest of the newly formed of Scepticons
fly off, and this brings on to the end of
the movie where it's like it's leading into a sequel,
and God, I hope to make a sequel which is
supposed to go into the Cybertron and Civil War. The
post credit sheens cross the post credit scene show the
Megatron has you know he renamed the High Guard, now
the Yar officially the decept the cons everyone now has
the symbol of the the and it's where we want
them to be, where we know them from g one.
Now my one critique from this movie. I mean there's
much of little critiques by the biggest one and I've
been arguing with our fans on Discord about it crisis
and I have it right and Zacho all Trades is
wrong in every way, shape and form. And I you
hear this, Zack of all Trades, because you are wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
The push for Megatrons his heel turn, it felt escalated
faster than it needed to be. I know where they
had to get him from a friend to an enemy,
but the turn, if we were the pen behind you know,
the character turn. It happened too fast, it happened too strong.
It's like I need like he felt betrayed. I got that.
He he loves Sentinel and now you find out the
sentinels of a villain and he hates to totally understand that,
wanting to kill him. I understand that, but then that
taking the next step. It was like in Game of
Thrones when Danarus decides, you know what, I'm just gonna
burn King's landing for no reason. That's that's the leap
of logic that it felt wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I didn't find it that big of
a leap logic, but I do think there should have
been like another catalyst, maybe like throw in, maybe throw
in you know, another buddy of like you know, of
theirs who like you know who then gets killed and
like you know, an optimist is like, okay, we need
to move past this, and Megatron is like, nope, we
need to get revenge. I would have I think that
would have that would have hit home a little bit harder. Instead, Instead,
it kind of comes across as uh as I don't
know a little petty on on D sixteen's part, but
uh again, I'd consider kind of a minor.
Speaker 1: It is minor, but I know they had to get
him to be Megatron in the beginning of the Civil War.
I know where they had to get him to be
and why they would get him there. There was just
something about his particular heel turn that rang a little hollow.
It felt like it felt just a little contrived. And
that's all my really real major critique, you know. Yeah,
now that being said, Alita She's fine. I'd rather have
an RC over Alita. I understand the history of Alita one.
She's basically just the female offense prime to going all
the way back to their time on you know, the
in the g One cartoon. We all watch it, we
learned about it. I like RC more that's me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like you know, but but but now we
have the implication that, like you know that that at
the end of the movie, everything's going good, so so
Optimist Leader are getting some robot got.
Speaker 1: Well they got to use an adapter and it never
feels the same way. But overall, so like I said, yeah,
I give this about an eight eight and a half.
I had a lot more FUNNUS movie than I had
with a lot of the other ones, and it gave
me a lot of the love that. I enjoy a
lot of the series, more of those anime like Transformers Prime.
I really enjoyed transform from Watch I Disguise, even the
the the Rooster Teeth when that was on Netflix. I
really enjoyed that as well. I don't know if you
ever watched that one. It was pretty solid version because
like Bumblebee is kind of a dick. It's kind of
funny that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I know, yeah, I saw the one. Yeah,
I liked. I like the Netflix the Netflix versions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but like this this really hit, like hit
all the buttons that I wanted to hit. But now
it brings us to the action stual freakin' uh all
the other movies. Rick, do you want to help me
rank these things?
Speaker 2: Oh? Fuck? I have opinions, all right, so let's share.
Speaker 1: Let's see if I can do this right. Cheers.
Speaker 2: I might not agree on those opinions, but it's okay.
I'm I'm much like you with with Zach of all trades.
I'm okay with you being wrong, all right.
Speaker 1: So we have our screen in front of us. We
have the seven well the like it's like the Six
Bay films. Do we count Bumblebee as a Bay film?
Or does he not fall?
Speaker 2: No direct? I know I don't count I don't count
Bumblebee as a Bay film. But I'm gonna tell you
right now I count Rise of the Beasts as a
Bay film.
Speaker 1: Oh it is?
Speaker 5: It?
Speaker 1: Totally is so? So okay, we'll start with the six
Bay films. We'll make this easier for fans at home.
Much you don't see I've got I've got a graphic
in front of us that's got like a little technographic.
We've got an Autobot light side, and a and a
and a Scepticon kind of darker side. So I want
to let's start with the Let's put these left and right.
Is it Autobot good or Decepticon bad?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: So Transformers won the first Michael Bay Transformers movie. Is
it good or is it bad?
Speaker 2: I would say it's the best of the bunch, so
I would put that as good.
Speaker 1: We'll leave it in the good category. Uh, Transformers to Uh?
Speaker 2: What was this one?
Speaker 1: What was this One's the tagline? They're so tiny? I
forgot that it was called Revenge the Fallen, Revenge of
the Fallen. I don't like this one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like this one either.
Speaker 1: So I agree, but they were gonna put this over
on to the bad side. It does, it doesn't work
for me. Transformers Dark of the Moon the third of
the Bay films.
Speaker 2: I would call it better than Revenge of the Fallen,
but I still don't particularly like it. See.
Speaker 1: I like this one because I like, again, we've got
an Eel Sentinel Prime len or need more. We got
a lot of cool. We got some pretty cool action,
like I will give what's it called it to do?
When I Revenge of the Fallen has got this really
cool fight where ATMA's takes on all those Decepticons and
I'll drink you all on. You know, it was a
really cool moment. But that's and it's that's about it.
That's all I really had, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it features a very bloodthirsty Optimist Prime and yes, basically,
you know, a not optimist Prime.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna lean I'm gonna leave it here. It's
leaning it's I'll say it's leaning blue. Okay, Okay, now
we get what was what was this one called the
fourth one? This was the extinction Age of Extinction?
Speaker 2: Now, okay, so so conceptionally I like Age of Extinction.
I hate it's just so full of so many stupid
fucking plot holes. It's just it has great, good special effects,
but it is so lazily plotted it's almost disgusting.
Speaker 1: This was Is this the first one with Marky Mark,
with mister Mark Wahlberg, This is the big one. We
had a transforma science and I found a transforma that guy.
Speaker 2: Yes, And then and then we have a whole scene
devoted to like you know, his daughter and like you
know her boyfriend, basically being like I.
Speaker 1: Have my senatory rape card. Yes, yes, uh yeah, I'm
gonna put this in the bad category. I don't like this.
Speaker 2: I I like it because it introduces the Dino pods,
but that might be the only reason I like it.
Speaker 1: So are you okay with the being in the bad
side or do you want to in like the middle middle?
Speaker 2: Bad? Middle? Bad?
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll move in the middle bad. You go over here,
all right, so you're in the middle.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 1: So the next one would be the last. I think
it's the last night.
Speaker 2: It was just fucking awful.
Speaker 1: Yes, hot, hot garbage, Yeah, you go over here.
Speaker 2: Oh fucking trash.
Speaker 1: This it's so bad that like even bring in a
camelot plot like that the Transformers knew Merlin and King
Arthur and it was so bad it hurt me.
Speaker 2: Well again lazy, like you know, this is what this
is where I keep saying contempt, because the contempt has
shown in this is the fact that they essentially plotted it,
knew it made no sense and didn't even try. There's
no attempt to explain the plotting consistencies any of that shit.
It's just basically like, you know, here's your Transformers nerds,
give me your money.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's one of those things like when these movies
come out, because maybe we didn't spend enough time really
talking about it. Maybe should for just a quick second,
like everyone else, when these things came to live action,
I really wanted to see something solid, you know. And
you know, the name Michael Bay carries different way to
different people. Like the young me really enjoyed several Michael
Bay films. I unapologetically love Armageddon. I unapologetically love The
Rock Bad Boys one and two. I truly enjoy these
fun movies for what they are because they are popcorn, blockbuster,
big budget go boom boom peopew and it makes my
brain called the happy juice. Not a lot of finky
just a lot of fun and I don't mind that.
But then they brought these to me and I'm like,
I really wanted so much out of these things, but
what I got was Shia Labouf. Yeah, so the huge
grant stutter.
Speaker 2: So where my like, you know, misgivings started with whiz what?
Like I I came, I was coming off Godzilla in
nineteen ninety seven, We're Roland Embert basically just said, you know, yeah, yeah,
fuck you Godzilla fans. I'm making my own Godzilla. I'm
taking every I'm taking everything that makes his monster popular
and I'm changing it to suit me, which I just
consider when directors do to be a complete slap in
the fucking face to Michael Bay immediately saying, oh, yeah,
their designs don't work. We're completely reworking were working everything right,
And again that was like and again, the first Transformers
is not bad, but like you know, again, you know,
you can start to see a little bit that that contempt,
and like you know, as the as the move, as
the series continues, it just gets more and more. And
I know some people will be like, oh, I know
Michael Bay and he's a Transforms fan, and you're not
gonna convince me of that, because I just I just
see a lot of hatred towards the source material in
these movies, and you're gonna have about a hard time
commits to me otherwise.
Speaker 1: I also see like there is okay, you know, I'm
not gonna accuse anybody of anything, but man, the amount
of like hot chicks bent over in the weirdest positions possible,
twisted in anime like proportions, and they're always so young.
Not that the actors are young, they're portrayed young. These
are constantly on high school. These are high school characters
putting these weird like high school positions, but hyper sexualized
people who are in there like their prime of their
mid to late twenties. And it's yes, it's a little
pervy in some ways, and I like and I try
to like distance myself from that mentally because I'm here
to watch Transformers. But like when Bumblebee's pissing on John Taturo,
you know, or when now I again, it's hard to
scrip Oustma's neck because unfortunately, most of the time Austman's
prime does not have a character like That's the reason
Transformers want to work for me, Optima's prime when we
watch him in generation, when we grew up with this thing,
he's just John Wayne meets you know, Chuck Norris. You know,
he is just He's Liam Neeson shout. All these characters
wrap into one. He doesn't have an arc, he has
already had his arc. He is now just leader guy
transfers one. I enjoyed it because I got to see
the arc. I got to see the optimistic kid who
messed up, who made the self sacrifice, played to grow
into the leader thanks to his friends and yeah, you know,
do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.
I enjoy that that growth. So in this it's it
doesn't Also I remember, did they like I'm pretty sure
Megatron tour Jazz in half and there's Optims at the
ends like we lost friends. It chucks is, but we
made new ones. So you know it's like, oh Jazz
is debit, who cares?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: So it was, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Knew this guy for like, you know, for seventy million years,
but you know he owed me fifty Shila Boof is cool,
Megan foxes hot, and there's there's also like, you know,
an aspect that annoys me. Annoys me. A lot of
these movies essentially like all screamed like America fuck yeah,
like almost as hard as South South Park does. And
the thing. The thing is, we're dealing with alien robots
from basically or supposed to be like light years ahead
of us technology wise, and it starts off that way
in the first one, and but then at the end
suddenly suddenly out of nowhere, you know, oh, human weapons
work again. Oh we figure this stuff out, and like,
oh we can, we can, like you know, we can
pick them out. And I'm gonna be perfect loveless. When
I watch a Transformers movie, I watch it for Transformers.
I don't watch it for the people. The same way
you know, when I'm watching a Godzilla movie, I'm watching
for the monsters. The only thing I want to see
with the people is either them getting the fuck out
of the way or getting stepped on.
Speaker 1: See now other things like that is a Michael but
as a Michael Bay thing. And it's like he has
always had a fascination with the military, and he always
had a fascination with blue collar. He hates nerds. He
hates nerds.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like even like armaged and it's like these guys
who these roughneck oil drillers are better than all these
nass and nerds, these freaking pencil neck dorks, and they're
gonna go up there and and do what these nerds
can't do. So stay away from fucking nerd properties exactly.
But it's a but he also he loves you know, like,
but the thing is, like you NASA bad boys, you've
got cops, you've got the rock, You've got the Navy
Seals versus the Marine Corps. I mean, you got like
it is you have. So he does love his military,
his guns, and his his uh uh you know, jingoistic
light tendencies when it comes to like, uh America, like
you said, America. Fuck yeah, uh you know I'm not
I'm not anti America, but it's like, yeah, you know
there's tons upoont it. You got to dial it back
a little bit, you know, everything and not everything needs
a gold filter. So but what everything he does do,
I give him credit for man every single time, like
you hit a certain one of these battle scenes and
I get Lincoln Park doing a like a like a
like it's like a fourteen minute music video to Lincoln
Park songs. I'm in I'm sorry, I'm in I'm a
kid of that era, like I I bring that a
shit on.
Speaker 2: Like like I agree to a certain degree. But part
of my problem also is in him reimagining these Transformers
is essentially the way he did is most of them
just kind of blend together in these giant action scenes
like you really can't ye are just like these these
these gray robots with insect like faces. Yes, And it's like, okay,
did an Optimist Prime just kill Starscream or do you
kill somebody else there idea? And then like when when
you do have like like iconic characters, they're really glossed over,
like in uh in Dark the Moon Shockwave is mentioned
as this like really big threat and then nothing. Literally
he has almost no purpose in the fucking movie.
Speaker 1: Well it's like sound waves of Satellite. He's just hovering
up there constantly like doing like and like like do
you never dealt with him again? You know, You're right.
They do a lot of these type of things that
it there's no identity to the bulk of the character,
the exception of Optimist Prime, Megatron and Bumblebee, like they
don't have uh an identity that really stands out on
the screen they try. I mean even when you bring
in like you know, John Goodman has like Hound in
a few of these other like wrecords and things like that.
Was it also in three? I mean either, I like
the movie was it in three? Were Optimist? And then
they they hid inside of something with the shut blew
up and they watched Chicago get destroyed for about forty
five minutes and then decided to join the fight, like
we had to let them know what would happen if
we weren't here, Like kind of a shitty move, Optimist.
That's kind of a bad look.
Speaker 2: Oh and speaking speaking of Hound, and well, that's one thing.
That's another thing that annoys the fuck at me is
that like, whatever your your profession is, you kind of
have to look like an exaggerated version of that, Like
you know, it's it's like it's like, oh, hey, like
don't even get me started on the two racist robots
and Rinded a fallen but h but it's like, like
what was it? Wheeljack shows up and it's oh, you
have to eat this big nerd with robotic glasses and ship,
and it's like come on, it's like you're not even trying.
Speaker 1: Right, So That's why I'm gonna put like I keep
that one there and in the it's it's, it's it's
not as bad. I like I personally traned Darken thing
was one of the one of the ones that I
enjoyed them once. And you seem seem to have this
for which one is this one? This was oh the
first Markie Mark was this like age extinction because they
brought in the Dina bots okay, which brings us to
the where do we want transforms?
Speaker 2: Beat Wars, so beast Wars for me was a huge
disappointment because Bumblebee hinted at moving away from Michael the
Michael Bay stuff, yes, you know, kind of re established
seeing it, taking it until like you know what I
thought was a positive direction, and Beast Wars pretty much
just felt like, let's suck Michael Bay's dick.
Speaker 1: Tow Ho finish this one? I tried, I tried to watch.
I couldn't even finish. I just couldn't care. Needly goes
to the bad category for me. I just couldn't finish it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the thing is of the Michael Bay films,
I'd say actually probably I think maybe all of them,
all of them revolve around some magical mcguffin. It's just
the only way we can get back to Cyberton. Oh
it was destroyed. Oh well, here's our next magical mcguffin.
So what did they do in Rise of to Beast? Oh,
here's our magical mcguffin. The only way we can get
back to Cybertron, which you know means it's going to
be destroyed by the end. They don't even try to
like make it different.
Speaker 1: So I said, we're area you putting this on the
back category.
Speaker 2: I'm putting this in the bad category because I did
watch it through the end. But one, you know, like
like the the human surprise at the end. Do you
care about spoilers?
Speaker 1: I do not, sir.
Speaker 2: Okay, the surprise at the end is basically the main
human character who's like, you know, he gets handed a card,
a g I Joe card essentially.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh right, right right. I heard about this, you know,
like they were talking about a potential crossover.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's just the part of the problem is,
like you know, the humans are just even probably more
annoying than this one, more maximudiager. Yeah. I don't know, man,
It's just not a good like they took all the
good will of Bumblebee and said, speaking.
Speaker 1: Of Bumblebee, I I enjoyed that one. I shouldn't, but
it was. It was such a breath of fresh air
compared to the other ones because the opening like ten
minutes showed me G one Transformers in the Michael Bays
style and it worked. It bloody worked. This guy took
the time to make their form look good. They're battling
on Cybertron. I saw everything clear. It reminds me that
one video game from was it at High Moon Studio, like, uh.
Speaker 2: You know Fall of Cybertron and uh yeah and Work
for Cybertron.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, ites like the Fall for Cybertron where
you have to see like the opening, like the opening
song is that to that Humbling River song where and
like Optimist comes out and he's like saving bumble Bee
and like click clack and you know, and Grimlock comes out,
you know, and like, oh yeah that one.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed Bumblebee. Also, Hailey Steinfeld A big shout out
to her because like this this she I like her acting.
I truly like it because it's like when she does
something she is she follows that particular Jackie's chant style,
which is Jackie Chan used to say when I do
When Bruce Lee punches something, he punched something looks really
cool doing. But Jackie changes when I punch it and
I goes oh and it shakes his fistaffwards. Because she
will do something cool then mess up. She has big
protagonist energy. If she has like whether that's an urban
fantasy story like she she you would read it, you
read a book. But I solve the type of acting
she does his lead characters. I enjoy what she brings
to these films.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and even unfortunately I hate the character of Bumblebee,
and especially the Michael Bay version of Bumblebee, which, let's
be honest, this is yeah, But of the movies we've
talked of so far, this is most. There is no depth.
Speaker 1: We were Transformers. You could see them clearly. Yeah, you
got John Cena. So I'm I'm gonna throw that in
the good one unless you.
Speaker 2: Have a problem. No, No, I'm an actual degree, all right.
Speaker 1: So that means we have Transformers one and Transformers in
nineteen eighty six. Yeah, so where do you what are
you feeling?
Speaker 2: I'm which one you want to start with?
Speaker 1: Which one? Which one. Do you want to start with, Well,
let's start.
Speaker 2: I mean we just we just spend quite a bit
of time on Transformers one. I think we're putting that
in the I don't think yeah.
Speaker 1: That's a good one. That's an automatic. But how do
you feel? Okay? Like okay? So this is the this
is the elephant in the room. Yes, I love I
do love this movie. It's not a good movie, but
I love it. It is a giant it's a baton
pass from a toy commercial. They killed off all your
favorite people. The movie doesn't really make sense if you
if you scratch any surface, it all, it all falls apart.
But I still love it. And I don't know if
that's a good thing or a bad thing. Because I'll
sit that'll play you got the touch right now? I
do love the soundtrack. I love this is Nostala's rebay
for me. I was eleven years old when this came out.
I've known it all my life. So where do you
staying with this?
Speaker 2: So? Like I had mentioned on Facebook that I would
consider Transformers one to be better than this, and a
lot of people can consider that heresy. And the reason
I consider that is, yes, I like this movie. Too,
especially like the first half an hour like or so,
it's wonderful, but basically basically there's that contempt, and it's
from Hasbro this time, basically saying we want to do
toy line yep. And rather than like, you know, pass
the torch in like a way where we can bring no,
we're just we're just essentially gonna all these characters you
have grown to love over two seasons of Transformers, who
they've really given a lot of personality to. We're just
gonna fucking slaughter them.
Speaker 1: We're gonna they last Jedi. This thing, they last Jedi,
this thing. They say, is this what you want? Nerds?
Do you want to say? No, you can't have it.
They slap me in the face to kill what you
love and push new things down your throat and say
this is what you love now.
Speaker 2: And for the most part, the replacements, I mean, I
like Galvatron, I do not, But outside of that, it's like,
uh man, and I kind of like Ultra Magnus. But uh,
you know, I know what they were trying to do
with with with hot Rod. Oh, let's let's let's give
Let's give the kids somebody young and hip as the
leader and stuff.
Speaker 1: Well, and you know, I feel bad because it feels
like it It unfortunately feels like a horrible sense of
growing up because when you're young in him, when he's
hot Rod, he's got this cool car and he's a
cool guy. Then he turns into a win a goddamn
Bago and it's like it's like, oh man, here's trade
in your cool car for the for the minivan kids,
or get or get the r get the camp or
RV because that's all your life is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that somebody looked at us and said, oh
this this pit my ride win A Bago is cooler
than like, you know, then this big ass semi semi truck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the only character. Here's the thing what I liked
from Transformers eighty six, from the new characters. I liked Springer.
I like the Triple Changers because that's where we got
we got the Triple Changers were born from this.
Speaker 2: You know, know they weren't the Triple Changers. Were all
the Triple Changers, the two main Triple Changers, Blitzwing and
and Astra Trager all over all over season two?
Speaker 1: Were they in? Okay, yes they were, because that Blizzing
was You're right, because they flew him around and after training. Yes,
they even had that one episode where they were trying
to lead the Transformers in their own way and Blitzwing
like he's got the football coach. Yeah, I remember now.
But it was Springer and Sandstorm who never really got
any real playtime. He was the one that was a
dune buggy and a helicopter.
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, nobody really gave it about Sandstorm. Springer
was kind of cool.
Speaker 1: Springer was kind of cool.
Speaker 2: But it was like, like, and this is the reason
we got Return of the Optimist Prime because afterwards Hasba
realized how badly they fucked up, right, Because apparently, like
I was hearing about, like in an early version of
the story, like Optimist Prime is supposed to get the
same treatment as like Megatron. Basically he was going to
be upgraded into Ultra Magnus, whereas like where's Megatron became Galvatron?
And honestly, I would have preferred that because basically, at
that point it would have been like, Okay, we have
the same we have basically the same characters. They've been upgraded,
they have new forms, cool forms and stuff. But uh,
you know, instead, what they gave us was you know,
and again you know, and and I know you don't
like Galvatron. I did like Galvatron.
Speaker 1: The concept's not bad. The problem is like, so there's
the movie version. Then I got the next like year
or two, the next season or two of cartoons where
that version of Galvatron was was crazy because he had
basically his brain damaged. Yeah, so he was like he
was he was uh brick. I'm trying to think of
the guy the Shakespeare character thought every it was out
to get him. It doesn't matter. He was just like
everybody's out to get me. Uh, what's going on? He's
like he was killing off everybody, like he was very
he was freaking nero. At the end of Rome, it
was like it was just he he I didn't like
any of that. And there's the people like, well he's
our leader, then kill his ass because it's like this
guy is definitely lead you down the wrong path. I
like the cont like you said, I didn't. I had
not heard that, like Ultrabat was supposed to be the
next evolution of options Prime, which made sense because like
he looked, it was a white version of Prime with
all this cool battle armor stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the toy. Literally, the toy originally was
like powered Convoy in Japan. Basically basically it was okay,
Optimist Prime with the new paint rap slapped into the armor, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought that was a that would have been a
cool idea. But yeah, what they gave us that they
also introduced the quintissance to us nerds. We have to
learn about this. Yeah, Unicorn of course was badass, so like,
there are certain parts about the lore and also you
know clearly, like you know, the the Prime he's dead,
but his spirit lives on and it's blah blah blah.
So yeah, I still love this movie. I owned this movie.
I watched it from time to time, so I still
call it good. But it's not it's it's not as
great as it it's a bad story.
Speaker 2: And I will I will, I will add one thing.
I know you said you'd like Springer. I'll admit I
kind of like the character of Cup, Like Cup kind
of took took over for Cup, kind of took over
from for Ironheight. It's like the grizzled old like you
know where. And he didn't do a bad job. I
kind of No, No, Cup did a good job of
being like yeah, he was this.
Speaker 1: He was the old surly guy like Grimlock got dumber,
if that was possible.
Speaker 2: I did not like that.
Speaker 1: Yes, they let they left my favorite Dina Bot snarl.
He didn't even make it. He didn't even make the cut.
There are no stecosaurs in this. They brought in Wheeley,
who sucks. Uh uh. There it was.
Speaker 2: It was a real hit.
Speaker 1: And also, okay, you notice Blasters in the beginning of
the movie and he's helping defend Autobot City. Then he
disappears for the entire movie and that shows up again
at the end. He might have be the only smart one.
He's like his agent says, you're only going to be
in the beginning of the end.
Speaker 2: So well, that was the thing, like like like apparently
there was a couple of scenes that that were that
were cut, like like Shockwave does the same thing. He
shows up in one scene and then suddenly he's gone,
and it's like and you never see him again in
the cartoon, and it's like, Okay, did he die? Did
he just say fuck this noise? You know, retired somewhere
like to the beach. I don't know.
Speaker 1: But he got the junkions as well, which are kind
of cool but.
Speaker 2: Making no fucking sense. It's basically, oh, here's a planet
of junk and oh there are Transformers on it too.
Speaker 1: Well, the other thing is that sucked was like we
all saw Galus's Prime got shot and died. We saw
I got saw Ultramatus guy blown the fuck up. They
put him back together and rubs him goo on him,
and he's back and he's healthy and hole in hal
and he's like, why couldn't you just hey, go get
up to missus corpse bring him right over here.
Speaker 2: Which is effectively kind of what they did in the
Return of Optimist Prime. Right, They basically just said, why
don't we actually just fix him?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well they brought him back. He was a little
bit crazy. But then and then they also like then
they also rebranded bubblebe his gold Bug. There's just sell
another toy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that that was just yeah, that was one
to sell another toy. But that's that's what anyway, That's
why kind of like, uh, it's it's a classic, but
I still enjoy Transformers one more just because again there's
that contempt behind Transforms and and I understand it's made
my hair bro drying to sell toys. But yep, they
did it in a way that was a giant fu
and let's be honest, that also traumatized a lot of kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's because of depth death of Options Prime
and when they did g I Joe of the movie
that Duke was supposed to die in that and they
put him in a coma instead. It's specifically because kids,
I know, I saw this in the air. I was like,
what the fuck? Yeah, you know, like I just saw
my hero turn gray and heads of the side and
everybody's like crying and apparently got a.
Speaker 2: Kid and they coned it down. Like I heard in
early college. I heard he basically just disintegrated to dust
and like the test audio instance, they had to go
into therapy and ship for them.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they just Theano snapped them like no,
Megatron comes in and ships on his chest and like
defiles his corpse.
Speaker 2: So but at the same time, it wasn't even just optimism.
I mean, I mean the first scene, I mean, I
mean Ironheid was a major character. Yes, he was all out,
like you know the first two seasons, and Megatron just ship.
Speaker 1: Like the Roocockers like like it was like it was
I think it was was it was it Prowl the
cop who got shot first right through the like the
right into the like his his headlight which is like
basically his heart chest. I don't know, but like you
just saw the smoke in his eyes. Its like where
are you where? Wait a minute?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: No, every time people get shot and they get back,
I was like, g I, Joe, you shoot a laser,
they hop out or bailout. You know, wait a minute,
are we watching? You will literally die right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like like I used to joke that, like, you know,
because we saw these characters getting shot up and stuff
in the car in the cartoon, Like I joked that
there's a missing scene in this movie where like we're
iron like roptims, like, oh, you have to take a
shuttle full of an enche hunt. Yeah, but but all
of our armors in the shop, we're just kind of
wearing cardboard. Get on the fucking shuttle, like like you're
like you're ordered.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I mean we also get like, you know.
The other downside is like the movie, the transfers of
the movie, it is what it is, you know, good
or bad are and different. A lot of nostalgierbating a
lot of love and a lot of great music, A
lot of it makes no god damn sounds like you've said,
but you have like things like we know who like
the aerial bots are, we know who the comy bots are,
we know who like the the the the Septicon metas
are the stunt to cons But we don't get any
of those. All we get are the Dino Bods versus Devastator,
and Devastator was like the weakest and my least interesting,
like the of the castal like uh uh uh five
and ones.
Speaker 2: So well, this this was apparently a communication issue in
that the guys working on the movie, we're given like
no information, uh you know, with regard regarding stuff. It
was like a lot of this stuff was done in
a vacuum. So yeah, yeah, like like subsequently, comics have
tried to explain, oh yeah, like the the all these
other robots, they were over here doing something else.
Speaker 1: They were off screen, they were on an away mission,
they were on the uh they were on they were
on a Cybertron two. They were on one of the moons.
Speaker 2: So maybe maybe maybe they owed they owed iron height money,
and they were just like, yeah, we're.
Speaker 1: They don't they don't want to go near a cup,
you know, like our blur blurs on cocaine. So all right,
so on this list here, I think we're gonna call
this one good. We're gonna we're gonna say that it's good,
we enjoyed it. It goes over to the good side, all right.
So we've got four good and four bad. I don't
really even care to rank the bad because it's just
all bad, you know, each even one of them's got
some standouts. But like they they're not worth my time.
Most of the Markie mark ones are not worth my time.
The beast one's not worth my time unfortunately, like you know,
the one with like you know, Tony todd As, like
the Fallen, it just doesn't waste my time. It doesn't.
It's not worth my time to even give more of
a shit about them. But there are, like I said,
half of them, and the ones that are up here
are decent. So yeah, which one do you want? Which
one would you say was in fourth place of the
good ones? Which when you say in stood fourth place,
actually there's five there, Okay, I clearly I can't count.
Math is not for the public school systems fail me.
Speaker 2: Yes, So in fifth place I would put I would
put Dark of the Moon same.
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I enjoy Dark in the Moon.
But out of this list it's in fifth place. Yes. Uh.
For fourth one, I would probably say probably Bumblebee. I
think maybe Transformers one. I think I personally think bumbled
that's better than Transformers one. I mean the first Transformers. Yes,
I mean yeah, okay, we'll go with that. I agree
with that. Okay, yeah. Now are you doing Bumblebee or
Transformers eighty six?
Speaker 2: I'd say bumble I'd say bumble because because here's the thing.
For as cool as like the opening and closing scenes
are Bumblebee, then you have the whole middle of the
movie which is just fucking Bumblebee. Yes, and I still
don't like the character.
Speaker 1: Well this they a lot with them, which, by process
of elimination, I think we're going with it. Eighty six
is coming at number two, and I believe our new
number one is Transformers one. I agree with you on
that one. I it it gave me a full story.
We're and at the heart we're both storytellers, and this
gave me a complete story with it with character arcs, motivations,
and a lot of love.
Speaker 2: For the source material. What I'd liked to have seen
maybe twenty minutes more to fill in a few gaps
here and there. Yes, sure, but you know something they told.
They told a lot of story, and like, you know,
now we're in forty five minutes and you're right, it's
a complete story. There aren't like any plot points that
sit that that make you go huh, are relatively minor
as opposed to Michael bayfilms. With the plot points You're
just like, are we going to address this? No, We're
just gonna fucking ignore it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now it's still like, why was this jet fire? And
us are seventy one sitting indefinitely and the dismissed reasons,
why is it?
Speaker 2: So? Basically I would say about Transformers one, it feels
like it was made by somebody who was a fan
of the.
Speaker 1: Trades, like a fan exactly what I was gonna say.
It had love, It had character again, it gets it.
It gets a loans of the MC You like humor,
but if you like that, you'll love this. If you
haven't seen it, well then why do you even watch
this podcasts?
Speaker 2: And the truth of the matter is, if you want,
I mean, Transformers only got like dour and like depressing.
When we got to the Michael Bay films. If you
if you look at the original cartoon, I mean, come on,
there's there's there's one episode where Optimus Prime is playing basketball.
Speaker 1: Well there's also some here's the thing, there's like I
remember a few downurs. Do you remember the beach Comber
episode where they find uh where they find like this
this pool of like electrom and like, yes, they were
all in, like it was this beautiful grotto and then
everybody fights over it and then like and at the end,
like hey man, we won. He's like, yeah, we wanted
beach over just looks just this destroyed hidden grotto that
will never grow back because the Transformers had to fight
over a resource.
Speaker 2: Like yeah we won.
Speaker 1: Oh beautiful moment, beautiful moment. So I think that that's it.
There's our list. Number five Transformers, Dark Moon, number one,
number four, Transformers one, Transformers, the First Transformers, Babe Bay
Formers number three, Bumblebee number two, Transfers nineteen eighty six,
and Transformer was one at number one where it belongs.
Speaker 2: Ye, And then you have four movies that are trash.
Speaker 1: I don't you have a ship. Most of them start
Marky Mark and I don't I don't ever want to
see them again.
Speaker 2: So I have a card that says I can have
sex with your own great daughter.
Speaker 6: Dude thought that was a good idea, like literally like
like like nobody when they were like screening this movie
said wait, what why do we need this scene?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Why, Like, hey, can't you just make can't you just
make the boyfriend seventeen? I mean seriously, who cares?
Speaker 1: Or make the daughter nineteen? Yeah? Done, she grew up.
You don't need like it's because Marky Market is like, well,
I'm not I'm too young looking to have a nineteen
year old daughter. Dude, you're not. You don't look that
young anymore. You don't you know your yeah, your your market.
Mark days are kind of over. My name is katiegar
and I'm a and I'm a transformer scientist robot man.
Speaker 2: He was like, Okay, it's like you know something, you
know something you know just shut up and and and
pop open that butt light, do the lick product cameo
and just shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: And on that note, I think that's what we're gonna
check out on this particular episodes of side Quest Rick
anything you want to say to the friends and family
at home.
Speaker 5: A.
Speaker 2: More than meets the eye.
Speaker 1: I want to say something something. Transformers all, Hail Megatron,
Bye everybody.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 5: Authors and Dragons. Brought to you under Creative Commons License,
meaning you were free to share this material so long
as credit is given to those who created it, which
is us.
Speaker 2: People.
Speaker 5: You just started to play the game opening and closing
themes performed by the gore Core four