1
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:13,519
Speaker 1: Seventeen. The worst of it had lasted for four almost

2
00:00:13,679 --> 00:00:16,800
unbearable days, and then he awoke in the morning of

3
00:00:16,839 --> 00:00:20,760
the fifth one with a shirt damp from sweat. The

4
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,640
blanket of fur felt good wrapped around him, but he

5
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:26,679
was not cold like he had been now. It was

6
00:00:26,719 --> 00:00:30,280
merely comfortable to be wrapped tightly beside the fire. And

7
00:00:30,359 --> 00:00:32,840
often he had fed the fire, and he must have

8
00:00:33,039 --> 00:00:35,840
lest it would have died, but he did not recall

9
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,600
doing it. His pants were dry, so he must have

10
00:00:39,719 --> 00:00:42,640
risen and relieved himself during those days, but he did

11
00:00:42,679 --> 00:00:46,359
not remember getting up. It took ten more days of

12
00:00:46,399 --> 00:00:49,920
steady improvement before he felt more or less back to normal.

13
00:00:50,359 --> 00:00:53,960
But he ate regularly, whether he was particularly hungry or not,

14
00:00:54,479 --> 00:00:57,600
and he rested often, and then soon enough he felt

15
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:03,240
his strength returning to him. After watering his neglected potatoes,

16
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,560
he stretched out in the bright mid morning sunlight and

17
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,560
lay his face to the sun. A lightly resting forearm

18
00:01:10,719 --> 00:01:14,519
covered his eyes. He turned his head and glanced over

19
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,560
his left shoulder, and just down the ridge a little

20
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,200
ways lay a pool that was fed by the small

21
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:24,000
creek in spring. He gave thought to going down there

22
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,599
later and getting in it. Was comfortably cool now, but

23
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,959
it would be warm by the middle of the afternoon,

24
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:34,280
and the pool, though deepened and widened in recent summers,

25
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,040
was still shallow enough that the water warmed quickly with

26
00:01:38,159 --> 00:01:42,519
its surroundings. He could use a bath, and, aside from

27
00:01:42,599 --> 00:01:45,560
rinsing his face off a couple of times, Reuben had

28
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:49,680
not bathed since before the sickness befell him. But that

29
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,920
wasn't why he was thinking about the pool. He was

30
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,400
lying in the sun and was comfortable, but he was

31
00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:59,680
also bored. He was wondering about retrieving some more mud

32
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:04,519
and to sift through for gold. He didn't need anymore.

33
00:02:04,599 --> 00:02:07,760
He just wanted something to do. He had thought about

34
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,639
building another chair to replace the one he had burned,

35
00:02:11,319 --> 00:02:15,400
but his heart wasn't into the project. Living as he

36
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,039
had for as long as he had and being accountable

37
00:02:18,039 --> 00:02:22,439
to only himself, had taught him many things. Maybe chief

38
00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:25,400
among those was that if he wasn't totally committed to

39
00:02:25,439 --> 00:02:28,560
a thing, then he generally did a fairly poor job

40
00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:31,719
of it. The last thing he wanted was to be

41
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,719
sitting comfortably by the fire one evening, and the damn

42
00:02:34,759 --> 00:02:38,000
thing suddenly decided to fly apart and sprawl him into

43
00:02:38,039 --> 00:02:41,599
the dirt. It would be against the odds. But what

44
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,639
if in the fall he somehow managed to break a hip.

45
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,800
Stranger things have happened. That was something he could ill

46
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:53,120
afford to have happened. The peeling of a bell reached

47
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,039
his ears, and all that had been running through his

48
00:02:56,159 --> 00:03:01,080
mind suddenly disappeared. It was faint, but the sad was definite.

49
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:05,599
He had heard it and then heard it again. Slow

50
00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:10,080
and rhythmic, it repeated over and over. Occasionally the timing

51
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,120
changed and an extra tolling could be heard, but then

52
00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:17,280
went back to the same methodic pattern. He stood up

53
00:03:17,319 --> 00:03:20,039
too quickly and placed his hands against a tree to

54
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:24,159
steady himself. The wave of dizziness was short lived, and

55
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,360
he knew it to be an after effect of the

56
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,000
recent illness. He was not yet as strong as he

57
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,520
would like to have believed himself to be, not running,

58
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,960
but without question walking a decidedly quicker pace than his usual.

59
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,560
He went back to the coal shaft and retrieved his rifle,

60
00:03:41,759 --> 00:03:45,439
after swallowing several deep pools of water from his canteen.

61
00:03:46,439 --> 00:03:49,719
The water always seemed to help when the dizzy spells came.

62
00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:54,919
He listened with earnest after he had re emerged. It

63
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:59,000
took a moment, but the sound was still on the breeze.

64
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,680
He was cautious as he walked. It wasn't something he

65
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,879
did because of the sound that he had heard. It

66
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,280
was just his way. But he traveled faster than was

67
00:04:09,319 --> 00:04:13,159
his norm on this day. The sound he had heard,

68
00:04:13,199 --> 00:04:15,680
he had struggled often to hear it, so he knew

69
00:04:15,719 --> 00:04:19,439
it was not nearby. He would travel with alertness, but

70
00:04:19,639 --> 00:04:22,560
he could travel, and he thought with safety as well

71
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:28,079
as rapidity. His condition of boredom was now gone, and

72
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:32,959
quite long forgotten. He drew closer to where he had

73
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,079
thought the sounds to be coming from, but judging by

74
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,600
the volume when he was able to hear it, it

75
00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:41,120
didn't seem to him that he was gaining any ground.

76
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,199
And then the thought occurred to him that he might

77
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,920
be in pursuit of a moving target. The road that

78
00:04:47,959 --> 00:04:50,639
he had refused to return to, or at least a

79
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,639
portion of where he had allowed William Sanders and his

80
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,600
horse to die an awful and slow death, was where

81
00:04:56,639 --> 00:05:00,800
the sound seemed to be guiding him. He stopped and listened.

82
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,000
The ridge was a great deal quieter when he wasn't moving.

83
00:05:05,319 --> 00:05:09,120
Even though he moved in near silence, the tolling of

84
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,680
the bell or whatever that noise was could now be

85
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,199
heard better and more distinctly. It was almost a sure

86
00:05:15,319 --> 00:05:17,839
thing that it was coming from near to where Sanders

87
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,920
had perished. He walked until he could see the road

88
00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:25,399
from where he stood. Not fifty yards below him was

89
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,879
where he had turned his back and walked away, leaving

90
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,399
the old man and the horse to die. He didn't

91
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,519
want to go back to that place. It didn't want

92
00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:35,560
to look at the ground and remember how the man

93
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,639
had looked as he had pleaded for help. Didn't want

94
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:41,560
to recall vividly how the horse had looked as it

95
00:05:41,639 --> 00:05:45,399
screamed while it slowly suffocated under the weight of its

96
00:05:45,399 --> 00:05:49,560
own body. He could see those images well enough whenever

97
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,360
he remembered, but he was of the mind that being

98
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:56,600
down there would be worse. But nothing that caused the

99
00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:01,560
sounds was there. Still, the sounds grew louder. He stood

100
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,279
there and tried to see everything, and the sound was

101
00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:09,079
definitely louder. He crept down another twenty yards and melted

102
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,759
into a laurel thicket so he could watch. It wasn't

103
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,360
a bell pealing. He knew what the sound was, he

104
00:06:16,399 --> 00:06:19,079
had heard it before. He was sure that he was

105
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,759
not mistaken about that. He just couldn't identify, and it

106
00:06:23,879 --> 00:06:27,680
kept growing louder, and soon he thought, very soon, I

107
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,279
will know the cause of all of it. Along with

108
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,040
the tolling bell that was not a bell, came other

109
00:06:34,199 --> 00:06:37,800
sounds as well, the clumping of hoofs on a sun

110
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:42,160
dried hard clay road, the whistling of an ill remembered tune,

111
00:06:42,759 --> 00:06:45,639
old boards creaking in the frame as the wagon wheels

112
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,600
turned slowly, and pots and pans clinging together to make

113
00:06:49,639 --> 00:06:52,800
the sound of a bell being rung. As the wagon progressed,

114
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,000
children singing a song different than the one that was

115
00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:01,240
being whistled, and Reuben watched as a family and all

116
00:07:01,319 --> 00:07:06,759
of their possessions passed below where he hid, leaving something behind,

117
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,480
maybe best forgotten, and on their way towards something new

118
00:07:10,519 --> 00:07:13,920
that was full of promise. That was what Reuben believed

119
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:18,360
himself to be seeing, and he envied them. The wagon

120
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,600
passed by, and he sat until he could no longer

121
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:25,120
hear the sounds that it carried. Alone, once again surrounded

122
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,120
by the quiet, he started back for his hole in

123
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:33,040
the ground he started back for home. He sat with

124
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,959
his back against an oak and watched the trees that

125
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,560
had been little more than saplings when he had come

126
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,800
to this place, were now well on their way to

127
00:07:41,839 --> 00:07:46,519
becoming mighty. He had watched them do this thing, not

128
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,439
like a father watches with pride as children grow. He

129
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,800
had simply watched and occasionally took notice. It was all,

130
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:59,839
aside from existing that he had accomplished in all these years.

131
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,040
A younger man, he had never once thought himself destined

132
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:07,639
for greatness. But surely there should be more, even in

133
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,920
this place, doing as he had, there should be more.

134
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,160
He was now an old man, even though the calendar

135
00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:19,639
would say differently. The family that had passed by had

136
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:25,360
been his life, happening all around him, but not including him. They,

137
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,399
just like life, would sleep tonight, anxiously awaiting tomorrow and

138
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,399
the promise that it held, while he sat watching the

139
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:38,600
trees grow, promises held by tomorrow's That was for others,

140
00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:42,279
the people who were not like him. For him, there

141
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:46,840
were no tomorrows, only yesterday's that had not happened yet.

142
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,600
When each day is the same as the one that

143
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,039
preceded it, and the same as the one that had

144
00:08:52,039 --> 00:08:56,039
preceded that one tomorrow, and any promise it may hole

145
00:08:56,159 --> 00:09:00,840
becomes an illusion that is better left unimagined, to realize,

146
00:09:00,879 --> 00:09:05,080
no change, no difference, no promise, was to find yourself

147
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:09,159
again in that place that is terrible, that place which

148
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,840
is dark and hopeless, that place that is so easy

149
00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:16,320
to go but so very hard to leave, the place

150
00:09:16,399 --> 00:09:19,360
that is always dark because the sun only shines its

151
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,679
light when the next tomorrow is born, and there are

152
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,399
no tomorrows in that place, the same as there aren't

153
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:31,080
any in his actual world. It isn't so simple as

154
00:09:31,159 --> 00:09:34,480
making the best out of every situation, as his father

155
00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:38,360
had always suggested that he do. If his father were

156
00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:41,480
here right now, he would see for himself what folly

157
00:09:41,519 --> 00:09:43,799
it had been to say such a thing and believe

158
00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:47,159
that a life could be better daily by thinking that way.

159
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:52,519
Sometimes it simply can't be bettered, And when that realization

160
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:57,039
finally comes, it is horrendous. But what is worse is

161
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,240
existing in the knowledge of that for so long that

162
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,480
you forget it, and then something comes along like a

163
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:07,279
wagon did, and reminds you all over again, and then

164
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,480
you have to live through the realization again. Reuben had

165
00:10:11,519 --> 00:10:14,279
lost count of how many times he had been made

166
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,639
aware of this truth by the fates, or the universe,

167
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,840
or by whatever is responsible for unveiling them from time

168
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:26,159
to time, simply because of one decision that he had

169
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,559
made half a lifetime ago, he was forced to know

170
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,879
periodically that this was all there was ever going to be.

171
00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:36,919
It might get worse, but it would never get better.

172
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,519
He thought about the wagon and the family that was

173
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,559
writing in it, not about where it was going, but

174
00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:47,000
about where it had been. What could have been so

175
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,480
bad that running away had seen the best choice. He

176
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,159
better than anyone, understood that position. But what had they

177
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,720
been faced with? He hoped for their sake that they

178
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,480
had found a better tomorrow somewhere down the road that

179
00:11:01,519 --> 00:11:05,159
they were traveling. He knew what lay in the direction

180
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,159
they had been traveling, at least for a few miles,

181
00:11:08,159 --> 00:11:12,519
he did, but he wondered about the opposite direction. The

182
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,240
old man that had died under the wheel had mentioned

183
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,759
that he had recently been in a town just a

184
00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:21,519
few miles away, a town that Reuben could not recall

185
00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,399
the name of. It might pass by morning, but just

186
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,759
now there was a desire to be in the town

187
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:31,559
and see what there was to see. The urge to

188
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,279
go might be gone by the time he awoke, But

189
00:11:34,399 --> 00:11:37,840
tonight he would sleep as those in the wagon would sleep,

190
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,279
with a promise within tomorrow to look forward to that

191
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:51,080
hadn't happened in a long, long time. Eighteen he awoke

192
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:55,799
as usual, and as usual, he performed his necessaries. Then,

193
00:11:55,879 --> 00:11:57,759
on the way to the pool to rense his face

194
00:11:57,799 --> 00:11:59,960
and teeth, he remembered the plan that he had made

195
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,679
the night before. With water dripping from his beard, he

196
00:12:03,759 --> 00:12:07,120
sat back and thought about it some more. The folks

197
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,080
in that passing wagon had sent him headlong into a

198
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:14,679
dark place, the place he didn't like going to, the

199
00:12:14,759 --> 00:12:18,519
place that is often hard to return from. Maybe it

200
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,000
had just been a dark place that was telling him

201
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:23,879
that he should go to the town. The dark place

202
00:12:23,919 --> 00:12:27,559
did that sometimes. It put thoughts and notions into his

203
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,240
mind that he had no business giving. The time of

204
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:34,120
day two, it made him think of doing things that

205
00:12:34,399 --> 00:12:38,080
his normal, sensible self would never entertain. The thought of

206
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,919
the dark place held up the truest needs and desires

207
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,120
of his heart made him stare at them with wide open,

208
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:50,480
unblinking eyes. He hated those things being brought to his attention.

209
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,519
They should stay buried, just as his former life was

210
00:12:55,639 --> 00:12:59,080
buried and forgotten about, just as Reuben Miller the former

211
00:12:59,159 --> 00:13:03,039
had been. Everyone thinking all these years that he was

212
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,720
dead had been a kindness gifted to them. Why couldn't

213
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,240
he be gifted in equal kindness? Wasn't having everything that

214
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,200
he had been and everything he should have been taken

215
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:18,440
from him punishment enough for what he had done? Must

216
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,639
he also be reminded of it all so harshly and

217
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:26,039
so often. The sun would be up soon, he silently

218
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,440
told himself. As he looked around and he saw the

219
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,519
wraith like forms of fog weaving in and out of

220
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,919
the trees. He thought about the notion he'd had the

221
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,600
night before, the one that had allowed him to go

222
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,840
to sleep with the possibility of a better tomorrow ahead.

223
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,799
What if it hadn't been the dark inward place? Putting

224
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:48,000
thoughts into his mind again, he thought, what if it

225
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,600
had been an awakening of sorts? What if it really

226
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,759
was permissible to go to the town and be once

227
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,720
more among the living for a brief period of time?

228
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,960
If the war was still then it was raging somewhere

229
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,559
besides here, He thought, I would have heard it if

230
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,039
it were near, he told himself, I would have noticed

231
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,919
men moving. Reuben had no doubts that the war machine

232
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,840
could be still killing men, as it had been when

233
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,360
he had fled from it, but he didn't believe it

234
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:22,320
to be doing so anywhere nearby. If the war was

235
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,120
still bloodying the ground, then perhaps those that hunted deserters

236
00:14:26,159 --> 00:14:29,960
were near it also. Couldn't that be true? And wouldn't

237
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:34,200
that be true? He asked himself. He raised up on

238
00:14:34,279 --> 00:14:36,120
his knees and leaned over to look at his own

239
00:14:36,159 --> 00:14:39,759
image in the water. The sun was providing light enough

240
00:14:39,799 --> 00:14:43,399
now for that he had known what to expect, more

241
00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:46,200
or less, but the image still caught him by surprise,

242
00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:50,879
and not in a good way. Tired and ravage, looking

243
00:14:51,639 --> 00:14:54,000
just up from a full night sleep. And still he

244
00:14:54,039 --> 00:14:58,120
looked worn and played out. His gray hair and beard

245
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,360
and circled his face was cut back and forth with

246
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,720
the creases that should only be on a face twice

247
00:15:04,759 --> 00:15:08,720
the age of his How many times had someone said,

248
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,320
when he had been a younger man that he had

249
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,080
the bearing of his father, who had been regarded as

250
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,759
a man pleasant to look upon. How many times hads

251
00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:20,879
story gently caressed each side of his face with the

252
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,720
tender palms of her hands, and told him of how

253
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:26,240
she longed to wake each morning just to see his

254
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:30,519
face near to hers each new day. He would never

255
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:34,039
hear those words again. He was no longer pleasing to

256
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,360
look on. Now women would use their hands to cover

257
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:40,399
their eyes at the sight of him, instead of softly

258
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:45,000
touching his cheek. He was monstrous and ancient looking, though

259
00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:47,200
by the last count of the limbs in his crate

260
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,159
only a few days earlier, he knew himself to be

261
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:54,080
no more than thirty eight years of age. This worry

262
00:15:54,279 --> 00:15:57,879
worn face that he must now wear forevermore was part

263
00:15:57,919 --> 00:16:00,559
of the punishment handed down to men who had done

264
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,679
as he had done. Exile was not enough. There had

265
00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:08,440
to be more. Apparently, it had to be so that

266
00:16:08,519 --> 00:16:11,600
he asked for the exile rather than just accepted it.

267
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,720
He had to want to be isolated in order to

268
00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:17,320
escape the looks and whispers that were sure to come

269
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,080
when he was seen. But the face that he no

270
00:16:20,159 --> 00:16:24,159
longer knew was the salvation as well. Those that might

271
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,200
still be searching for him would not recognize him either.

272
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,960
They would be looking for Reuben Miller, the nineteen year

273
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,919
old man who had mysteriously disappeared some eighteen years ago

274
00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:39,639
after a particularly horrendous day of carnage. They would not

275
00:16:39,679 --> 00:16:42,879
be looking for the skeletal vagabond that they were repulsed

276
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:47,039
by when they cast their eyes upon him. Feeling his

277
00:16:47,159 --> 00:16:51,120
spirit lift somewhat by knowing his deplorable condition now made

278
00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:54,919
it possible, with extreme caution, to once again to enter

279
00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:57,960
the world of men. Was not a feeling that anyone

280
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,559
should ever have, he thought to him. So off, but

281
00:17:01,799 --> 00:17:04,000
it is the best I've had in many years, and

282
00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:06,640
as good as I am likely to have, he muttered

283
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,680
to himself as he walked back to his hole. It

284
00:17:10,759 --> 00:17:14,160
dawned on him as he walked that even after eighteen years,

285
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,000
he knew very little about his surroundings, not about the

286
00:17:18,039 --> 00:17:20,519
town a few miles away or the road that led

287
00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:23,960
to it. What he was thinking about was all of it.

288
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:28,920
With each step, trees and ledges and ditches were new

289
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,720
to him, he realized that everything about these forests should

290
00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:35,880
be known to him, but they weren't. He had never

291
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,359
felt the need to know what lay over the ridge

292
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,720
or down the way. The hole where he lived was safe.

293
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,160
He knew where to get water and meat, and he

294
00:17:44,319 --> 00:17:47,839
knew where three farmsteads sat for when he needed seedlings

295
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:52,480
for plantings, or pants to steal from a drying line.

296
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,680
There had been no need to know more than that,

297
00:17:55,519 --> 00:17:58,240
and now he was frightened, even as he continued to

298
00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:01,519
move forward along the ridge, but always with the road

299
00:18:01,599 --> 00:18:07,240
within sight. He didn't like unfamiliar things. It was dangerous.

300
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,680
He wanted his rifle in his hands, but someone that

301
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,920
looked like he did and was carrying a rifle that

302
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:17,319
fine was sure to arouse curiosity, so it had been

303
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,359
left in the hole when he had walked out. He

304
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:24,240
was being cautious, he told himself. He wasn't covering ground

305
00:18:24,279 --> 00:18:26,799
as quickly as he knew he should be, so he

306
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:31,000
blamed it on caution. But he was dawdling. He knew

307
00:18:31,039 --> 00:18:34,920
that too. Asking Storry to take that first walk with

308
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,240
him had been like this. It had been something he

309
00:18:38,319 --> 00:18:41,200
had very much desired to do, but was so scared

310
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,880
of asking her that he had dragged his feet leading

311
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,119
up to his walking up to her. This was like

312
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:51,680
that had been only much much worse. She could have

313
00:18:51,759 --> 00:18:55,119
said no or laughed when he had asked her, and

314
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:56,960
he would never have been able to look her in

315
00:18:57,039 --> 00:19:02,680
the eyes again, But this could get him killed. No

316
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,279
one would be disappointed if he turned around and went

317
00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:08,400
back to his hole. Why would they be, since they

318
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,559
didn't expect him or even know that he existed. There

319
00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:15,200
would be a certain measure of shame to live with

320
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,400
if he did that, shame for being afraid to do

321
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,519
a thing. But the past eighteen years had taught him

322
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:25,240
that he could live with the shame. It was simply

323
00:19:25,319 --> 00:19:27,720
a matter of adding it to the list of things

324
00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:30,039
that he would regret as he closed his eyes for

325
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,519
the final time. That might be the thing that he

326
00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:37,000
was always aware of but never talked about with himself.

327
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:43,160
He was fearful of acknowledging his greatest regrets. To fear

328
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,200
them and how profound they might be, was one thing,

329
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,480
but to openly admit them and then explore them, to

330
00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:54,000
know exactly how deeply they went was another. He had

331
00:19:54,079 --> 00:19:56,319
yet to reach the level of inner strength where he

332
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,400
had thought he could stand knowing that he had been

333
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,880
walking while he had been thinking of these things and

334
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,039
had not even realized it. When Reuben looked through the

335
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:09,200
small opening in the trees, he could see the roofs

336
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,319
of buildings, the contents of his stomach spewed up through

337
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:17,279
his throat. Now on to the ground. He saw more

338
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,599
people in the first five minutes than he had seen

339
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:24,000
altogether in eighteen years, and he had not made it

340
00:20:24,079 --> 00:20:28,200
yet to the town proper. No one had seen him yet,

341
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,279
and he hadn't meant for them too. He was crouched

342
00:20:31,319 --> 00:20:33,720
among the bushes near the side of the road that

343
00:20:33,839 --> 00:20:37,519
bisected the town. He was close enough so that he

344
00:20:37,559 --> 00:20:41,039
could hear the men talking. There were so many, and

345
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,799
everyone seemed to be talking at one time. He couldn't

346
00:20:44,839 --> 00:20:49,079
isolate conversations. He wanted to eavesdrop and hear the biggest

347
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,680
issues of the day, and on the edge of this

348
00:20:51,759 --> 00:20:54,640
small town, he wanted to hear all the important things

349
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,960
of the world. He wanted to hear all that he

350
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:00,960
had missed out on over the last day eighteen years.

351
00:21:01,599 --> 00:21:04,799
He wanted to know all that everyone was already aware of,

352
00:21:05,319 --> 00:21:07,519
and he wanted to know it from his place of

353
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,480
concealment in the bushes with its leaves covering in dust

354
00:21:11,559 --> 00:21:15,440
from the nearby road. But he supposed that that was

355
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,680
too much to ask. He watched. They weren't dressed so

356
00:21:19,799 --> 00:21:22,279
differently from him, thanks to the clothes that he had

357
00:21:22,319 --> 00:21:27,079
stolen not so terribly long ago, but theirs were considerably cleaner.

358
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,240
They all wore hats. He had not worn one since

359
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:35,000
he had lost his Running from the battlefield. There were

360
00:21:35,039 --> 00:21:38,799
guns nestled, didn't rifle scabbards, or propped up against the

361
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:42,160
wagon seats, but no man was carrying a firearm that

362
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,640
he could see. But the thing that surprised him the

363
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:50,440
most was the absence of uniforms. None neither grain nor blue,

364
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:54,279
were anywhere to be seen. Even if the war was

365
00:21:54,319 --> 00:21:58,119
still being contested one thousand miles away. He would have

366
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,559
thought there would be a presence from one side or

367
00:22:00,599 --> 00:22:03,960
the other in the town. Once the town had been

368
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,000
conquered and claimed, it had been a practice of both

369
00:22:07,039 --> 00:22:09,839
sides to leave a force of some number. But he

370
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,920
saw none. He supposed that in a place as small

371
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:19,039
as this, it had been deemed unnecessary. He started to

372
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,480
rise and make his way closer, perhaps go ahead and

373
00:22:22,519 --> 00:22:25,759
even enter the town, but what he saw made him

374
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:30,400
sit back down in wonderment. He didn't know what business

375
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,000
the shopper store did, he couldn't tell from where he sat,

376
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,839
but all three of them were going to go inside.

377
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,319
There was a black man in a very white shirt

378
00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:43,359
and bib overalls, reaching the door at the same time

379
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,200
that a white man and presumably his wife had. The

380
00:22:47,279 --> 00:22:49,480
black man took off his hat and smiled at both

381
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,079
of them, and the white man opened the door and

382
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,640
held it open for the black man to enter first.

383
00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:58,519
Reuben had never known but a handful of black men

384
00:22:58,599 --> 00:23:01,279
before going to fight, and he had liked all of

385
00:23:01,319 --> 00:23:04,680
them very much. He liked them much more than some

386
00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:08,039
of the white men that he had known. His deciding

387
00:23:08,079 --> 00:23:10,119
to fight had nothing to do with a man being

388
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,200
one color or another. He had liked all the black

389
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,279
man he had ever known and counted them as friends,

390
00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:19,640
but not all had thought as he had. In fact,

391
00:23:19,759 --> 00:23:21,920
most that he had grown up around had not thought

392
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,960
as he had. So to see a white man hold

393
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,240
the door open for a black man was something that

394
00:23:27,319 --> 00:23:30,480
he would never have imagined seeing, but he was glad

395
00:23:30,519 --> 00:23:34,640
that he had. He tried to look determined as he walked.

396
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,359
He wanted to give the impression that he had something

397
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,240
important to attend to. It was his hope that people

398
00:23:41,279 --> 00:23:43,559
would be less likely to bother with him if he

399
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,119
seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere, so

400
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,759
that an errand could be taken care of. It seemed

401
00:23:49,759 --> 00:23:52,400
as he walked through the small town of Hamilton that

402
00:23:52,519 --> 00:23:55,319
no one was paying any attention to him, no matter

403
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:59,160
how he carried himself. But just because he couldn't feel

404
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,279
anyone noticing him, it did not cause him to feel

405
00:24:02,279 --> 00:24:07,079
any safer about his situation. With each step, he was

406
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,839
sure that his bows would loosen and spill onto the street.

407
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,880
He wanted to satisfy himself that he had seen all

408
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,480
that there was to see, and then beat a hasty

409
00:24:16,519 --> 00:24:20,240
retreat back to his hole. But never had he wanted

410
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,079
to shut away from people so badly as he wanted

411
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:28,119
that now. A man carrying a large and heavy looking

412
00:24:28,279 --> 00:24:32,079
burlapped sack on his shoulder came out of the door first,

413
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,759
and he was followed by a small boy that seemed

414
00:24:34,799 --> 00:24:38,799
to be heartily enjoying a stick of striped candy. The

415
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,200
man went back and closed the door, after falling the

416
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,720
sack from his shoulder into the bed of the wagon

417
00:24:44,079 --> 00:24:47,880
and then planting the boy upon the wagon's seat. As

418
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,160
the father and son drove away, Reuben stared at the

419
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:55,240
door that opened into the Hamilton General as scared as

420
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,079
he had ever been. He stepped from the street onto

421
00:24:58,079 --> 00:25:01,319
the boardwalk and extended had a hand to grip the

422
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:10,119
door Ltch nineteen. Reuben wasn't entirely sure of just what

423
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,839
he had been expecting, but for some reason people milling

424
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:18,200
around inside of the store. Wasn't it There weren't many folks,

425
00:25:18,279 --> 00:25:21,359
only two or three aside from the lady behind the counter,

426
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,400
But considering where he had been for the past eighteen years,

427
00:25:25,799 --> 00:25:29,319
the store still looked crowded to him. They had all

428
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:31,720
turned and faced the door when he had opened it

429
00:25:31,799 --> 00:25:34,720
and made the small brass bell above it began to jingle.

430
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,519
Since no one in the store knew him, most everyone

431
00:25:38,599 --> 00:25:42,680
returned to their shopping straight away. One woman did not

432
00:25:42,799 --> 00:25:45,319
try to hide her disgust at the way he looked,

433
00:25:45,839 --> 00:25:49,160
but she turned aside soon enough, as if not seeing

434
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:54,400
him meant that he wasn't there so many things. Of course,

435
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,799
he had frequented stores in an earlier life, but he

436
00:25:57,839 --> 00:25:59,960
had forgotten what it was like for so many different

437
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,480
things to be available to just pick up and have

438
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,319
if you had the money to buy them with. The

439
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,440
lady behind the counter was busy at something, but told

440
00:26:09,519 --> 00:26:11,559
him to have a look around and give a shout

441
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:16,480
if he needed help finding something in particular. Reuben didn't answer.

442
00:26:17,039 --> 00:26:19,759
He did nod, though, in acknowledgment, but she didn't see

443
00:26:19,839 --> 00:26:23,799
him do that. He stood still and nearly wept as

444
00:26:23,839 --> 00:26:27,039
he smelled the air around the wood stove. He had

445
00:26:27,039 --> 00:26:30,680
forgotten just how pleasing the aroma of brewing coffee was.

446
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,200
He and his father used to drink a pot between

447
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:38,119
them each morning before starting their labors. His mother would

448
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,799
sit and smile as she watched those that she called

449
00:26:40,839 --> 00:26:44,599
her men eating breakfast and drinking coffee while she sipped

450
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,680
at her tea. And he had thought often over the

451
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,640
eighteen years about how good a cup of coffee would taste,

452
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,279
But he had never imagined the strength of memories just

453
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,640
the smell of it would invoke. You are welcome to

454
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,680
sniff the air all you like, that what you want

455
00:27:00,759 --> 00:27:03,480
to do, but you can also pour yourself a cup

456
00:27:03,519 --> 00:27:06,200
if you'd like. I put a pot on a couple

457
00:27:06,279 --> 00:27:08,920
of times a day for anyone who might fancy some,

458
00:27:09,559 --> 00:27:13,640
the lady behind the counter said. Reuben looked around the

459
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,880
store just in time to see the last customer besides

460
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,279
himself walking out the door. You'd be offering that cup

461
00:27:21,319 --> 00:27:25,279
to me, miss he asked, I'm offering you two cups

462
00:27:25,319 --> 00:27:27,920
if you'd like it. Of this time of day, people

463
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,799
stop taking in coffee now. I don't know why I

464
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,480
keep making two pots when I always throw most of

465
00:27:33,519 --> 00:27:36,640
the second one out each day. So go on and

466
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,920
help yourself. I'd rather see one man drink it all

467
00:27:40,079 --> 00:27:43,720
than have to pour it out, she said. Reuben was

468
00:27:43,759 --> 00:27:46,240
embarrassed for a moment as he looked at his dirty

469
00:27:46,279 --> 00:27:50,319
fingernails and beating up hands, but the temptation proved to

470
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,039
be too great, and he grabbed a tin cup and

471
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,160
he filled it. Miss do you mind if I drink

472
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,559
this while I walk around and look at your wares?

473
00:27:59,079 --> 00:28:01,799
I swear I won't drop on anything or on your

474
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:06,200
nice floor, Ruben said. She looked up from her work

475
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,440
and tried to recall if she had ever heard such

476
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,279
a genuine manners coming from such an unlikely source before.

477
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,039
You just make yourself at home and look all you want.

478
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,519
You can't bite if you don't see it, can you,

479
00:28:18,799 --> 00:28:23,079
she asked. Reuben smiled and began to meander down the aisle.

480
00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:26,799
She watched him and taxed her brain to remember if

481
00:28:26,839 --> 00:28:30,319
she had ever seen him before. Generally, she had a

482
00:28:30,319 --> 00:28:34,720
fair memory for faces, especially the usual ones, and his

483
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,519
was definitely one of those. But she just couldn't place him. Still,

484
00:28:39,559 --> 00:28:42,039
there was something about him that kept poking at her,

485
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:46,200
as if he were somehow familiar to her. Never wanted

486
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,160
to shy from a conversation, she laid her pencil aside

487
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,200
and rose from the stool that she was sitting on.

488
00:28:52,359 --> 00:28:54,799
He was studying a small box that he had taken

489
00:28:54,839 --> 00:28:57,519
from the shelf. He had a confused look on his

490
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,000
face as he read the writing on the box. Now

491
00:29:01,039 --> 00:29:04,519
those are therapeutic papers, and therefore you to take to

492
00:29:04,599 --> 00:29:08,200
the outhouse instead of the cobs, she said. But he

493
00:29:08,279 --> 00:29:10,480
dropped the box when he heard what he was holding,

494
00:29:10,519 --> 00:29:12,839
but she caught it before it landed on the floor.

495
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,720
I didn't mean to embarrass you. You just look confused

496
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,079
as to what was inside the box, she said. Oh,

497
00:29:20,079 --> 00:29:23,000
I never heard of such my own ey, what people

498
00:29:23,039 --> 00:29:27,160
will spend their money on? He said? She giggled and

499
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,440
placed the box back onto the shelf. She was fair

500
00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:34,839
certain that he would not be purchasing those. Miss I

501
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,599
saw something in a carton over there, and I'd like

502
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,039
to ask if it truly is what I believe it

503
00:29:40,039 --> 00:29:43,400
to be. If I may, he asked. My name is

504
00:29:43,519 --> 00:29:46,400
Maggie Neil, so from now on you call me Maggie

505
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,039
instead of miss, and if you will lead the way,

506
00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:51,240
I will tell you exactly what it is that you

507
00:29:51,279 --> 00:29:54,480
were wondering about, because I was probably the one that

508
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,519
ordered it, Maggie said. He smiled and started walking the

509
00:29:59,599 --> 00:30:02,440
route to them, past the woodstove where he refilled his

510
00:30:02,519 --> 00:30:06,000
cup with coffee. No matter where the item in question

511
00:30:06,119 --> 00:30:08,480
had been located, he would have found a way to

512
00:30:08,519 --> 00:30:11,319
walk near that pot again. And it was her time

513
00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:13,640
to smile as she watched him close his eyes and

514
00:30:13,759 --> 00:30:17,599
enjoy another long, slow sip. I never felt as if

515
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:21,559
anyone ever thought much of my coffee, Maggie said, Well,

516
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,680
let them go without a cup for as long as

517
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,119
I have, and they will think differently, I assure you.

518
00:30:26,279 --> 00:30:29,720
He said, Now, where are you from? If you don't

519
00:30:29,799 --> 00:30:32,920
mind me asking. I can't remember ever seeing you in

520
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:38,160
here before. Maggie said, never been in here before. I

521
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,079
live out east to hear a fair peace and just

522
00:30:41,119 --> 00:30:44,160
felt like taking a walk. I happened up on this

523
00:30:44,319 --> 00:30:47,039
place and I decided to stick my head and then

524
00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:50,759
the rest of me inside your door, he said. She

525
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,279
nodded and seemed to be taking him at his word.

526
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,039
Reuben was glad of that. Seeing as his hole was

527
00:30:57,119 --> 00:31:00,880
nearly six miles west from where they were standing, he

528
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,160
didn't think it would come up, but if it did

529
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,680
and men were ever sent out to look for him,

530
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:10,279
at least they would start off in the wrong direction. Well,

531
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,799
wherever you're from, I'm glad to have you in the

532
00:31:12,839 --> 00:31:15,599
store today. Now show me what it is that you're

533
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,920
curious about, and i'll see if I can help you,

534
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:22,079
Maggie said. They arrived in front of the shelf, and

535
00:31:22,279 --> 00:31:24,599
he pointed to the box that lay on the bottom one.

536
00:31:25,279 --> 00:31:28,319
It wasn't overly wide, and it wasn't very thick, but

537
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,880
it was three or more feet long. Now that cannot

538
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,440
be what it says it is, can it? He said,

539
00:31:35,599 --> 00:31:38,960
it truly is. She said, I'll order two of them,

540
00:31:39,039 --> 00:31:41,720
thinking I would get rich off of them, But one

541
00:31:41,799 --> 00:31:44,480
is still here and the other is in my front room.

542
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,960
How on earth did someone manage to get a rocking

543
00:31:48,079 --> 00:31:53,519
chair inside of that box? He asked. It hasn't been constructed,

544
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,759
or as they say on the label, it needs assembling,

545
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,279
and it's very easy to do, now, know, because I

546
00:32:00,359 --> 00:32:02,799
put the one that I have together all by myself.

547
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,119
There's a sheet of paper inside the box that tells

548
00:32:06,119 --> 00:32:08,680
you each step that you are to make, and it

549
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:12,079
even comes with a jar of glue. I put mine together,

550
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,519
and once I knew that I had it done correctly,

551
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,799
I took it back apart and include everything as I went,

552
00:32:18,559 --> 00:32:23,519
but sits nicely as any rocker maid in Vermont. She said, well,

553
00:32:23,599 --> 00:32:27,200
I'll be dipped. I never heard the likes before. He said,

554
00:32:28,119 --> 00:32:30,920
if you're interested in it, I'll sell it to you

555
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,839
for what it costs me, just to make some room

556
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,160
on the shelf for things that folks around here might

557
00:32:36,279 --> 00:32:40,440
actually want. Now, and then Maggie said, well, can I

558
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,039
study on it for a minute or two? Would you

559
00:32:43,119 --> 00:32:46,680
permit me that? He asked you take all the time

560
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,000
that you need. I'll just be over there if you

561
00:32:49,079 --> 00:32:52,640
decide on it. She said this before she walked away

562
00:32:52,759 --> 00:32:55,240
with more optimism at getting rid of the thing that

563
00:32:55,359 --> 00:32:59,599
her father always referred to as a folly. Reuben was

564
00:32:59,599 --> 00:33:02,400
already thinking about how nice it would be to sit

565
00:33:02,519 --> 00:33:05,519
in a proper rocking chair by his fire ing each night.

566
00:33:06,839 --> 00:33:09,440
Did you make up your mind? She asked as he

567
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,720
approached the counter. What depends on how you want to

568
00:33:12,759 --> 00:33:16,880
trade on it, I expect, he said, Well, twelve dollars

569
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,960
is what I paid for it, and that's what I

570
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:22,559
would take for it. She said, well, I like that chair.

571
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,759
I think I would like it once it's been all

572
00:33:24,799 --> 00:33:28,640
put together. I don't have any folding money, though, he said,

573
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,839
I'd sure like for you to have it, but I

574
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,240
can't give things away for free, except for the coffee,

575
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:39,200
of course. Maggie said, Well, I wasn't asking for it

576
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:42,440
to be given to me. I don't have any folding money,

577
00:33:42,839 --> 00:33:45,759
but I have gold. If that will do anything for you,

578
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:50,799
he said, you have gold, I do, probably enough to

579
00:33:50,799 --> 00:33:56,400
buy that chair. He said, you have gold on you now.

580
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,279
I don't deal in gold, but Waightcliff down at the bank.

581
00:33:59,359 --> 00:34:01,920
Does you can go down there and trade it in

582
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,000
for folding money or for silver coins if you prefer,

583
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,679
Maggie said. Reuben was shaking his head back and forth

584
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,239
before he started speaking. Well, I have no desire nor

585
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,679
plans to go to any bank, he said. He pulled

586
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:19,519
a few inches out before a small patch made from

587
00:34:19,519 --> 00:34:22,800
the height of a rabbit followed it from inside his pants.

588
00:34:23,559 --> 00:34:27,039
He dropped it onto the counter. And then pointed at it.

589
00:34:27,039 --> 00:34:29,719
It had made a heavy, dull thud when it landed

590
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,920
on the wood. Now, I don't know how much is there,

591
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,159
but I'm thinking it's heavier than a pound. Do you

592
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:40,760
have scales near to hand, he asked. Maggie didn't say

593
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,320
anything as she lifted the pouch and walked over to

594
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:47,199
where she weighed out flour and sugar and coffee for customers.

595
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,159
She handed it back to him and told him that

596
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,599
since it was his, maybe he ought to be the

597
00:34:52,599 --> 00:34:55,000
one to open the pouch and pour the contents on

598
00:34:55,079 --> 00:34:58,559
the scale. Well. He shrugged his shoulders and began to

599
00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:02,599
untie the pouch. She watched it glitter and flicker as

600
00:35:02,599 --> 00:35:05,639
it landed in the pan, and he poured until there

601
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,840
was more than a pound and a half lying there.

602
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,480
Where did you get all this? She asked? Would you

603
00:35:12,639 --> 00:35:15,159
take what is there for that chair? There might be

604
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,400
more inside that purse if you was to turn it

605
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,280
inside out and look real hard. He said, I couldn't

606
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,400
take all of this for a twelve dollars chair. I

607
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,880
don't know how much gold is worth, but what you

608
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,280
have here is worth more than twelve dollars. I know

609
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:33,320
that much Maggie said, would you take it if I

610
00:35:33,519 --> 00:35:36,519
said that whatever might be left over after the cost

611
00:35:36,559 --> 00:35:39,320
of the chair has been taken away, was for the

612
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,480
two cups of coffee and the nicest conversation I've had

613
00:35:42,559 --> 00:35:46,760
and quite some time. He asked, Now this is too much.

614
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,159
I wouldn't feel right about making a trade like this.

615
00:35:49,599 --> 00:35:53,000
Maggie said, well, I'd wager that you can find a

616
00:35:53,079 --> 00:35:56,000
better use for that gold than I can. I need

617
00:35:56,079 --> 00:35:57,920
to be goin and i'd like to be takin the

618
00:35:58,039 --> 00:36:01,079
chair with me when I go. Have we struck a

619
00:36:01,119 --> 00:36:06,199
bargain or not? He asked, well, yes, lord, yes, if

620
00:36:06,199 --> 00:36:08,400
you're happy with the trade, that I am as well.

621
00:36:08,519 --> 00:36:12,280
Maggie said, well that's good, he said, as he smiled.

622
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,320
I'll be collecting my chair now, and I'll get out

623
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:19,119
from under your feet. He said. You follow me over

624
00:36:19,159 --> 00:36:21,239
to the counter and I'll write you up a sales

625
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,599
ticket for the purchase, and I'm going to give you

626
00:36:23,639 --> 00:36:27,039
a couple of paint brushes. Also, they'll help you to

627
00:36:27,079 --> 00:36:30,719
put that glue on. Maggie said, I have no need

628
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,280
of any ticket, but I would thank you for the brushes.

629
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,119
He leaned the box against the counter while she rummaged

630
00:36:37,119 --> 00:36:40,039
through a cart and for two four inch painting brushes.

631
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,599
That was the size that she used on her own chair,

632
00:36:43,639 --> 00:36:46,920
and it had worked quite well for her. He was

633
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,679
rereading all the words on the outside of the chair's

634
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,480
box as she was dropping the brushes into a narrow

635
00:36:52,599 --> 00:36:57,679
brown paper bag. I cannot wait to write today's experience

636
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,800
down in a letter to send to my friend. She's

637
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,519
going to be amazed as I have been, Maggie said.

638
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,880
And why would she be amazed that you sold a chair,

639
00:37:07,159 --> 00:37:12,079
he asked. It's been nearly fifteen years since that war ended,

640
00:37:12,119 --> 00:37:16,199
and times are still hard for most people. She knows

641
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,280
that most of the sales this store does is done

642
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,360
on credit. People just can't seem to find a way

643
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,599
a dig out from their hardships. And then one day

644
00:37:25,639 --> 00:37:28,440
a man comes in with all this gold and gives

645
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,360
it to me for a rocking chair. Now that story

646
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,159
will make her smile, and I don't think many things

647
00:37:34,199 --> 00:37:37,400
do that these days. We write each other on a

648
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,000
regular basis, and I try to tell her something that

649
00:37:40,079 --> 00:37:44,039
will make her smile if I can. Maggie said, The

650
00:37:44,079 --> 00:37:47,280
news that the war had been over for so long

651
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,440
had set him back on his heels, but he worked

652
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:54,440
hard to keeping his face calm and expressionless. There would

653
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,760
be plenty of time to think about all this. As

654
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,599
he walked back to his hole and then later sat

655
00:37:59,679 --> 00:38:02,599
in it, he knew that many evenings would be spent

656
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,880
considering what he had just heard. Your friend, is she

657
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:11,000
feeling poorly? Is that why she no longer smiles? He asked,

658
00:38:11,199 --> 00:38:15,239
in as normal a tone of voice as he could manage. No,

659
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,800
she isn't ill, not so far as I know. Her

660
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,760
husband passed not so long ago, and she and her

661
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,679
daughter went back to live with her family. There were

662
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,760
some real special moments there that she was looking forward

663
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,280
to being near again, memories that were very dear to her.

664
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:34,559
But from what she has written, those memories aren't enough.

665
00:38:35,639 --> 00:38:38,360
I think being around them saddened her more than they

666
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,719
brought her the joy that she was hoping they would,

667
00:38:41,159 --> 00:38:45,559
Maggie said as she handed him the bag. Memories can

668
00:38:45,599 --> 00:38:48,559
be treasures, but they can also be cruel and edgy.

669
00:38:49,159 --> 00:38:51,440
They are kind to you when you go to find them,

670
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,639
but when they come up on you all on their own,

671
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:58,119
they can sting and bite in a painful way. You

672
00:38:58,159 --> 00:39:00,800
cannot run from them because they are attached to you,

673
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,480
and they are always there, and they assault you when

674
00:39:03,519 --> 00:39:07,400
you least expect them to. He said, Will you speak

675
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,960
as if you were an authority on memories both good

676
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:14,440
and bad? Maggie said, Write your friend what you will,

677
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,840
and hope that your words cause her to smile. There

678
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,280
are too few smiles in this world for you to

679
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:24,039
be withholding one. If you have it to give, he said, Oh,

680
00:39:24,119 --> 00:39:26,519
I will write her, but I will do more than that.

681
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,719
I'm making plans so that just as soon as I

682
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,519
am able to get away, I'm going to travel to Marion,

683
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:36,119
Virginia and give my friends story the biggest hug you

684
00:39:36,199 --> 00:39:39,519
ever saw. I'm going to forbid her to do anything

685
00:39:39,559 --> 00:39:43,079
other than smile for the duration of my visit, Maggie said.

686
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,599
Reuben wavered, but acted as if he had gotten his

687
00:39:47,679 --> 00:39:50,119
feet tangled up with the box that was leaned against

688
00:39:50,199 --> 00:39:53,320
the counter. There was no point in wondering if the

689
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:57,360
shopkeeper was referring to someone that he didn't know. There

690
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:02,280
was only one story in Marian his story, his story

691
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:06,079
who had been married but no longer was his story,

692
00:40:06,159 --> 00:40:08,519
who had a child to raise but no one to

693
00:40:08,559 --> 00:40:12,199
help her do it. His mind was reeling too quickly

694
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,280
for him to keep up with the new thoughts that

695
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:18,559
were coming in from every direction. Besides, I've never met

696
00:40:18,599 --> 00:40:21,320
her daughter, Ruby, and I very much would like to

697
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,800
do so. She was named after one of those memories

698
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,599
that my friend went back to visit. Now I want

699
00:40:27,639 --> 00:40:30,679
to meet someone that was named for such a special remembrance,

700
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:35,480
Maggie said. Ruben needed to leave. He needed to be

701
00:40:35,559 --> 00:40:38,760
away from this place. He needed to be in his

702
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,119
hole where he could think about all that he had heard.

703
00:40:42,159 --> 00:40:44,639
He lifted the box to one shoulder and shoved the

704
00:40:44,679 --> 00:40:48,320
bag of brushes into his pants pocket. I hope that

705
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:51,639
you will come back and visit the store again, Maggie said,

706
00:40:51,679 --> 00:40:56,159
as he grasped the door lights. Reuben didn't trust himself

707
00:40:56,239 --> 00:41:00,559
to speak. He nodded and walked outside into the bright sunlight.

708
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,519
Twenty He had wanted to run from the store as

709
00:41:07,559 --> 00:41:10,639
soon as he had heard what Maggie said. He wanted

710
00:41:10,679 --> 00:41:13,199
to run all the way back to his hole, but

711
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,559
he had forced himself to walk steadily and without having

712
00:41:16,639 --> 00:41:21,199
the look of singular intent written across his face. As

713
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,920
far as he knew, he had emerged from his hole,

714
00:41:24,559 --> 00:41:27,639
had engaged with people for the first time, in eighteen

715
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:31,440
years save the old man under the wagon wheel, and

716
00:41:31,559 --> 00:41:34,480
was leaving again, with none being the wiser as to

717
00:41:34,599 --> 00:41:38,559
who or what he was to have torn out running

718
00:41:38,639 --> 00:41:41,039
The moment he hit the street would have called far

719
00:41:41,119 --> 00:41:45,159
too much attention. Attention was something that he never wanted,

720
00:41:45,639 --> 00:41:48,000
but now, of all times, was when he could afford

721
00:41:48,039 --> 00:41:51,400
it the least. But when he was safely back among

722
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,360
the trees and atop the ridges, he did not tarry.

723
00:41:55,199 --> 00:41:57,320
He ran as fast as he could for as long

724
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,199
as he could. It wasn't like it had been, and

725
00:42:00,199 --> 00:42:03,559
when he had been a young man, age of toad

726
00:42:03,599 --> 00:42:06,400
that never healed quite properly, A cart and full of

727
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:12,000
rocking chair balanced on his shoulder all made the deciding difference. Still,

728
00:42:12,039 --> 00:42:14,800
he ate up ground and began to recognize trees and

729
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,800
outcroppings no more than two hours after he had been

730
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:22,800
talking to that girl Maggie. Once he arrived, he slid

731
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,679
the box down the hole ahead of himself, and then

732
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:29,159
kicked it underneath his bed. He drank all the water

733
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:32,239
that remained in his canteen, and then laid down on

734
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,840
his bed. There had been other things in that store

735
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,719
that he had wanted and could have used badly, but

736
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:41,239
at the time he didn't know how he could carry

737
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:45,480
everything to his place. As it turned out, he was

738
00:42:45,559 --> 00:42:48,400
exceedingly glad that he had decided to leave it where

739
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,000
it lay on the shop shelves. The handles of the

740
00:42:52,039 --> 00:42:55,599
painting brushes were gouging at him. He pulled the bag

741
00:42:55,599 --> 00:42:58,280
in brushes from his front pant pocket and tossed them

742
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,679
on the floor halfway across the room. Starting his rocker

743
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,960
was the very last thing on his mind. Now. Just

744
00:43:07,039 --> 00:43:10,559
the mere mention of her name had been enough. Just

745
00:43:10,639 --> 00:43:14,519
hearing the words story had stirred and created havoc inside

746
00:43:14,559 --> 00:43:18,519
of him that he might have thought impossible. Not that

747
00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:21,800
his feelings for her or his memories of her had

748
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,599
faded over time, because they hadn't. It was just that

749
00:43:25,679 --> 00:43:28,519
he didn't think simply hearing her name would bring everything

750
00:43:28,599 --> 00:43:32,960
flooding back with such force. What was he to do now,

751
00:43:33,159 --> 00:43:35,800
he wondered as he lay on his bed of twigs

752
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,079
and furs, while looking up at the ceiling of the

753
00:43:38,159 --> 00:43:42,519
coal shaft. Now that he knew her situation, which he

754
00:43:42,559 --> 00:43:46,280
had been wondering about for all these eighteen years, Now

755
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:48,800
that he knew that she had not waited forever like

756
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,119
she had said that she would, and that he had

757
00:43:51,159 --> 00:43:54,960
secretly been hoping that she still was, now that he

758
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,519
knew that she was alone, except that she had a

759
00:43:57,599 --> 00:44:00,920
daughter beside her. Was he to go running back all

760
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,599
the way to Virginia to sweep her up into his arms.

761
00:44:04,159 --> 00:44:06,639
Was he to cast pouches of gold at her feet

762
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,840
so that she would know that she never need worry

763
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,960
about providing for her daughter ever again? Was he to

764
00:44:13,039 --> 00:44:16,199
stand before her and expect her to welcome him back

765
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:20,000
after being gone so long? What was he to say

766
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,400
when she asked where he had been for the better

767
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:26,000
part of two decades and she would ask, if not

768
00:44:26,199 --> 00:44:30,280
demand that answer. Was he to have faith that she

769
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,800
would hear the thoughts that he'd had in the time

770
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:37,639
of war and understand his decision. Would she see him

771
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,360
as he who was once dear to her and was

772
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,199
now returned to her? Or would she see him for

773
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,360
the coward in disgrace that had huddled in a hole

774
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:50,119
away from the world for half of his life. What

775
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,360
if she did accept him back into her loving embrace.

776
00:44:54,079 --> 00:44:56,880
Would she have given thought to her daughter's future before

777
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:01,239
doing so, just because story my welcome him back into

778
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:05,239
her life? That did not mean that everyone would. What

779
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,519
would those who didn't so readily forgive him say to

780
00:45:08,559 --> 00:45:11,480
her daughter as she grew about the man that her

781
00:45:11,519 --> 00:45:16,079
mother had taken up with. Would starry uproot their lives

782
00:45:16,119 --> 00:45:18,199
and move in the hopes that no one ever found

783
00:45:18,199 --> 00:45:21,880
out what a disgrace he really was? Would she be

784
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,360
trying and struggling to accept him back even as she

785
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:29,320
was saying defiantly that she had. Would she still be

786
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,960
harboring enough feelings for he that she had married and

787
00:45:33,079 --> 00:45:36,599
buried that there was no room left for him now?

788
00:45:37,519 --> 00:45:39,960
Would she ever believe that the reason that he had

789
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,840
been gone for so long that he really hadn't known

790
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,400
that the damn war was finally over? Would anyone ever

791
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,559
believe such a thing, even though it was the truth.

792
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:54,119
What would his returning do to his own family? It

793
00:45:54,159 --> 00:45:56,719
had only been eighteen years, so there was no reason

794
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,159
to assume that one or both of his parents might

795
00:45:59,199 --> 00:46:02,800
not be still living. What would his return do to them?

796
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,719
Would it matter how much gold he gave them as

797
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,840
a way of making up for his actions. Was there

798
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,079
any way in the world that his actions could be

799
00:46:11,119 --> 00:46:15,519
atoned for? How many times was he to ask for forgiveness?

800
00:46:15,519 --> 00:46:17,760
While reminding them that he had been a young and

801
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,360
very frightened young man when he had done what he

802
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:24,239
had done, and could he ever apologize enough, and could

803
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,280
his father ever explain enough to his friends and neighbors

804
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,679
so that they would finally just be happy that their

805
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:33,119
friend's long dead son had returned from the grave, instead

806
00:46:33,159 --> 00:46:35,599
of focusing from now on about how I had been

807
00:46:35,679 --> 00:46:40,519
hiding in that grave all this time. He needed something

808
00:46:40,599 --> 00:46:43,960
to eat, but he felt no desire to eat. Too

809
00:46:44,039 --> 00:46:46,599
much had happened that day, and it was wearing on him.

810
00:46:47,559 --> 00:46:49,760
He wanted to close his eyes and shut it all

811
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,880
away for a time, and he needed to begin again

812
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:55,280
to think about all of this. But when he had

813
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:59,719
a clearer mind, there were too many thoughts, and they

814
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:03,199
were all stomping their feet for attention. Inside his mind,

815
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,079
the confusion was equal to, if not greater, than, that

816
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,800
which he had run from on the battlefield. He did

817
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,039
not think that he could run from his own thoughts.

818
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,119
Many were the times that he had wished that and

819
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:22,239
found no success in trying. The sleep did come. It

820
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,159
had not been of his doing, It simply came. And

821
00:47:25,199 --> 00:47:28,719
when the body is exhausted, sleep comes to be restorative

822
00:47:29,119 --> 00:47:33,239
as it also comes when the mind needs rest. Somewhere

823
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:35,519
in the midst of all those thoughts, the mind began

824
00:47:35,639 --> 00:47:39,400
to waver, and sleep took him over. If he dreamed,

825
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:43,199
he did not remember doing so. Neither were there any

826
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,960
sudden enjuring awakenings during the night, so that he could

827
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,079
return to his thoughts, and they lay quietly by the

828
00:47:50,119 --> 00:47:55,480
side until the morning. Morning came and brought a clarity

829
00:47:55,679 --> 00:47:58,920
of mind. All the thoughts were still there to be

830
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,880
gone through, but they were more organized now. The night

831
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,800
before had been a jumble to sort out, but now

832
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,280
he could see them all and had the ability to

833
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,440
pick and choose which ones he wanted to study in detail.

834
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,480
He chose none of them. He had awakened knowing that

835
00:48:16,519 --> 00:48:20,599
the decision had been made somehow during the night, to

836
00:48:20,639 --> 00:48:23,840
see his father and mother again, to see his home again,

837
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,840
the whole story in his arms, and breathing the scent

838
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:31,719
of her skin again. Eighteen years in this place had

839
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:35,039
taught him many things, and chief among those was that

840
00:48:35,199 --> 00:48:37,920
he would have given almost anything to see those that

841
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:41,360
were so dear to him again. But with the clarity

842
00:48:41,599 --> 00:48:44,599
that the night had brought also came the knowledge that

843
00:48:44,679 --> 00:48:48,280
he no longer deserved that which he wanted the very most,

844
00:48:49,119 --> 00:48:52,519
and more importantly, those that he treasured so did not

845
00:48:52,679 --> 00:48:56,840
deserve the pain that his return would bring, The weight

846
00:48:57,039 --> 00:48:59,760
that he would attach around their necks by simply coming

847
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:03,599
home was not something he could do to them. It

848
00:49:03,639 --> 00:49:07,159
would be wrong, and hadn't he done enough wrong to

849
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:11,960
them already. After washing his face at the pool, he

850
00:49:12,079 --> 00:49:14,960
returned to the hole, and at some point he would

851
00:49:15,039 --> 00:49:18,079
need to repair his snares that had been left unattended.

852
00:49:18,559 --> 00:49:22,360
But now he had another chore waiting. He dragged the

853
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,840
box out from under his bed and began to open it.

854
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,599
He needed to get the chair assembled. He was going

855
00:49:28,639 --> 00:49:31,400
to be here for a long time. It appeared he

856
00:49:31,519 --> 00:49:34,400
might just as well spend the time in relative comfort.

857
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,800
In that chair, he could think at length about what

858
00:49:38,039 --> 00:49:46,000
might have been twenty one. She sat on the same

859
00:49:46,159 --> 00:49:49,599
log that she had always sat on. For some reason,

860
00:49:49,679 --> 00:49:53,280
it never seemed to be trying to ride away. She

861
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:57,400
watched as Ruby toss pieces of stale bread to the ducks.

862
00:49:58,159 --> 00:50:00,639
They were content out in the pond, and they're paying

863
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:04,239
Ruby's insistence as they come to eat. No mind at

864
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:08,920
all was infuriating the little girl. She read the latest

865
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,920
letter from Maggie, and she did smile, as Maggie had

866
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:15,079
hoped that she would. Story hope that if she ever

867
00:50:15,119 --> 00:50:17,800
made it back to her friend's store, the odd man

868
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,599
with the nice manners would happen in while she was there.

869
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,679
She would pleasure in meeting him, she thought,