Speaker 1: Justin Morsham has joined us takes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talk with don't get me started on center stage,
Speaker 2: because that's a.
Speaker 3: Whole other thing.
Speaker 1: Justin is probably the most popular multi hyphen it here'kfi.
Speaker 3: How does that work?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: We talk about parenting on Wednesdays and on Sundays you
Speaker 1: roll in and talk about real estate.
Speaker 4: These are renaissance.
Speaker 3: We talk about adulting.
Speaker 1: Uh, let's talk about successful kids working on one key emotion.
Speaker 5: And this was I gotta be honest, I was taken
Speaker 5: aback by this that the key emotion for your kids
Speaker 5: to grow up successful is awe. And if I'm reading
Speaker 5: this correctly based on the information of the study, is
Speaker 5: that the parents need to be in awe of their children.
Speaker 3: What.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought it was going to be keep the
Speaker 2: awe in your kids as long as possible, so where
Speaker 2: your kids are like, oh, that's wonderful or that's great,
Speaker 2: or that's beautiful or that's cool or you know, so
Speaker 2: your kids aren't quicker than they should be.
Speaker 5: And that could because there's other parts of it where
Speaker 5: they allude to the fact that the parents who were
Speaker 5: also experiencing awe. So what my general takeaway from it
Speaker 5: was is that if your bar is very low, then
Speaker 5: you tend to be happier in general and maybe more successful.
Speaker 2: Welling parents should be in awe of their kids. Don't
Speaker 2: give it the kids the power, isn't it.
Speaker 3: I mean, don't get me wrong. My kids have there.
Speaker 5: Each of them have had two moments or one each
Speaker 5: where I was genuinely, insincerely in awe of what they
Speaker 5: decided to do. So I was proud of them that
Speaker 5: the proud pride is the second in this study. So
Speaker 5: you the number one emotion for the predictor of success
Speaker 5: is awe, and pride is number two, which I thought
Speaker 5: was also I.
Speaker 2: Think of in awe of something, I think like delighted
Speaker 2: or surprised by the magnitude.
Speaker 5: They did the thing, and I'll try and pull it
Speaker 5: up here. They did the thing of they gave you like.
Speaker 5: The Webster's Dictionary defines alle as and uh and they
Speaker 5: give you a different one the Merriam Webster Dictionary. An
Speaker 5: emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired
Speaker 5: by authority or by the sacred or sublime.
Speaker 3: Now hit the second one if you don't mind strong.
Speaker 1: This one from dictionary dot com an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear,
Speaker 1: et cetera, produced by what produced by that which is grand, sublime,
Speaker 1: extremely powerful or the light.
Speaker 4: Something that should be revered is not your child.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what.
Speaker 5: So again, this just kind of threw me off my
Speaker 5: balance because I'm like, am I supposed to be admire
Speaker 5: And there's a lot again, there's a lot of ways
Speaker 5: that I genuinely, sincerely do admire my kids. But I
Speaker 5: don't know, I don't know that you know, like to me,
Speaker 5: the equivalent of like, you know, who rescued who?
Speaker 2: Well, if this kid does something kind or you know, wonderful,
Speaker 2: you can.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine being a base because your kid does
Speaker 3: something kind? So true?
Speaker 4: But yeah, true kids are selfish, little being.
Speaker 5: Kids made me dinner last night while I was on
Speaker 5: like a zoom meeting.
Speaker 3: And that's really like he was sick or he was
Speaker 3: inhabited by an alien. I'm like, you're doing that.
Speaker 4: That is when AWE comes in. I was so.
Speaker 1: Along those lines when when you say awe, I think
Speaker 1: of the context of like, this is the most beautiful
Speaker 1: sunset I've ever seen in my life. I can't wrap
Speaker 1: my head around what is going on right now. If
Speaker 1: you if you are in awe of your kids, maybe
Speaker 1: it's not because of what they've done, but you're like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe that two human beings can get together
Speaker 1: and create another human being.
Speaker 3: I'm in awe of that.
Speaker 4: Person, and you're in awe of yourself, not the kid.
Speaker 3: It did say.
Speaker 5: The author of the article said, when I read things
Speaker 5: like this, it reminds me, if I needed it to,
Speaker 5: that being a parent really is an almost incomprehensible.
Speaker 3: Gift, which I do not feel that being a parent
Speaker 3: is an incomprehension. It sounds like I feel like it's
Speaker 3: a job that.
Speaker 5: I signed up for that I didn't know what I
Speaker 5: was getting into. But I do enjoy like that's like
Speaker 5: from time to time. That's a better way to say,
Speaker 5: I enjoy it from time to time. I do not
Speaker 5: find joy in it every day.
Speaker 3: I don't. I probably am through swaths of it I didn't.
Speaker 5: I could say I did not find enjoyment from it
Speaker 5: most of the time. Right there, it's fleeting moments of
Speaker 5: joy and I have enjoyed it.
Speaker 3: Moment worth it. They do that.
Speaker 5: But again, I don't know if this is like an
Speaker 5: evolutionary thing that we've just had, Like it has to
Speaker 5: be ingrained in us, that we have to psychologically think
Speaker 5: that because he smiles after he farts when he's kept
Speaker 5: me up all night, but that makes it all worth it.
Speaker 4: Maybe it is, but it's still.
Speaker 5: There's a little bit of, like I don't know, sociopathic
Speaker 5: aspects to it, that you have to like trick yourself
Speaker 5: into finding the fun and being beat on and vomited on.
Speaker 3: That's frue.
Speaker 4: It's true.
Speaker 2: I mean, parents do make allowances for their kids.
Speaker 5: A lot, and then they get older and all they
Speaker 5: do is not appreciate you and become generally annoyed by
Speaker 5: you and don't want you around. Like so, I'm just
Speaker 5: when I see this, it's a thing that's very conflicting
Speaker 5: for me because obviously I come in here, I cry
Speaker 5: about my kids.
Speaker 3: I love them dearly.
Speaker 5: I could not imagine my life being any different than
Speaker 5: what it is.
Speaker 3: But I did not. I do not think I would.
Speaker 5: Use AWE to describe how I feel a good chunk
Speaker 5: of the time. And maybe we'll see, maybe my kids
Speaker 5: will be less successful because of it.
Speaker 4: No, that is not true, you know, because.
Speaker 3: Listen, you're a successful guy. I thank you clearly I
Speaker 3: have hyphens. Your dad would not be in awe of you, No,
Speaker 3: and if he was, he would never admit it.
Speaker 1: Which is a funny thing because I feel like this
Speaker 1: is the push towards telling your kids that you're in
Speaker 1: awe of them, and that I think puts a very
Speaker 1: That's a bad move.
Speaker 2: That's a bawful It's so stupid. I think it's really stupid.
Speaker 2: I feel like the thing that I've strived for is
Speaker 2: to hear that my parents are proud of me.
Speaker 4: That's like the number one thing.
Speaker 2: And I think that it's never changed throughout my entire life,
Speaker 2: Like that's what I want.
Speaker 3: You want that?
Speaker 5: And there's this weird I think high wire tuggle war
Speaker 5: whatever where it's like because if they give the pride
Speaker 5: too fast and east right, then it's like it doesn't
Speaker 5: feel earned.
Speaker 4: They've got to pay attention to you for thirty five years.
Speaker 3: Exactly right, you can't. But is it funny how we
Speaker 3: all we all have these similar vibes like.
Speaker 4: I have this one, and you should want that as
Speaker 4: a kid.
Speaker 2: You should want to make your parent proud and your
Speaker 2: parents should want to be proud of you. You know,
Speaker 2: all of these things The awe thing is just like
Speaker 2: give me that's a little too new parent age foo
Speaker 2: food to me.
Speaker 4: It be in awe of your check coming back.
Speaker 5: This right here is my biggest feared anxiety I've always
Speaker 5: had as a parent is that I've always felt exactly
Speaker 5: like we're all saying we feel yeah, but I'm like,
Speaker 5: what if everybody else who is blowing that much sunshine
Speaker 5: up their kids a that like, that's they're actually the one.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of friends, most of my friends
Speaker 2: have kids, and that that is never a conversation. I
Speaker 2: was in awe of my daughter and like, that's not
Speaker 2: a thing.
Speaker 3: I've never heard somebody heap that much praise on that kid.
Speaker 1: But let me go back to what I said earlier,
Speaker 1: when I said, is that when you think of the
Speaker 1: awe of being in awe of something this bigger than you,
Speaker 1: I'm in awe of the the skyscraper that I would
Speaker 1: never be able to design or build or anything.
Speaker 3: If you.
Speaker 1: Display that, if you show that to your kids, not
Speaker 1: directed towards them, but you show them that you are
Speaker 1: still capable of being impressed by something that I think
Speaker 1: is a good quality to exactly, because then that gives
Speaker 1: the gives the kid the ability to not be a
Speaker 1: giant jade like you said earlier, a jaded a hole
Speaker 1: through the rest of their life.
Speaker 2: One of my least favorite things. When a child is
Speaker 2: not impressed by something. Yeah, so annoying.
Speaker 3: I agree. I mean they should all be impressed by you.
Speaker 4: No no, no, no, not me.
Speaker 2: I mean by you know, even if it's just like
Speaker 2: a meal out or.
Speaker 1: They got for Christmas, Like they can't wrap their head
Speaker 1: around the fact they don't deserve it. You gave it
Speaker 1: to them because you you love them, right or whatever,
Speaker 1: But they don't get the awe that should be involved
Speaker 1: with you spent how much money on a on a
Speaker 1: game system that's going to eat my brain out?
Speaker 3: I love it, Thank you. Yeah, I'm all I'm in
Speaker 3: awe of that. I mean that I pulled a fast
Speaker 3: one on.
Speaker 2: I will get the you know, text messages from friends
Speaker 2: like can you believe they're you know, thirteen and fifteen?
Speaker 2: Can you believe I made these kids? You know what
Speaker 2: I mean kind of thing, and and that I get
Speaker 2: the awe there of like you know, like we were
Speaker 2: talking about, I can see that like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I did this, we did this. We've all done this,
Speaker 2: The family has done this. Look at them. They're grown
Speaker 2: up and they're not broken.
Speaker 5: So here's one last bit of perspective is that it
Speaker 5: also says there was a twenty twenty study that found
Speaker 5: that if you spent fifteen minutes in a walk out
Speaker 5: in nature where the things you were seeing were things
Speaker 5: that you would be considered to be in awe of,
Speaker 5: you were significantly more likely to feel pro social emotions.
Speaker 5: So what if like, let's just say the parent is
Speaker 5: very easily find finds themselves in a state of awe
Speaker 5: and that somehow begets this perspective for the kid because
Speaker 5: they're modeling it to also just appreciate what they have
Speaker 5: for around them. So that's really what because they they're
Speaker 5: also maybe that removes a little bit of like the
Speaker 5: insecurity obstacles that you usually have to overcome to achieve stuff, yes,
Speaker 5: and that you just like you just have a more
Speaker 5: positive mindset and it's more about.
Speaker 2: Birds, yeah, feather, it's it's it's the same thing with
Speaker 2: the people you surround yourself, even as adults, Like if
Speaker 2: you're surrounding yourself with people who are like, oh it's
Speaker 2: beautiful today, Like look, do you see those flowers.
Speaker 4: Those are incredible.
Speaker 2: How bright they're the ones right outside the door, you know,
Speaker 2: I opposed to someone who's like, I hate my life
Speaker 2: this day.
Speaker 5: My favorite study is the one that said my grandparents'
Speaker 5: generation was happier than all of us because their bar
Speaker 5: for happiness was so low.
Speaker 4: Yes, they expect keep the bar low.
Speaker 3: Justin will continue.
Speaker 4: It's like the turban kids.
Speaker 1: Justin war just joined us and we're talking about parenting issues,
Speaker 1: and so new research talks about the importance of reading.
Speaker 5: I have a feeling when I read this, I was
Speaker 5: gobspeck like, I was like, what the hell?
Speaker 3: And I have a feeling.
Speaker 5: You guys are be like, oh, no, it's important, no, nothing,
Speaker 5: But fifty four percent of US adults read below a
Speaker 5: sixth grade level.
Speaker 3: Not surprised, really, you've been the target. Yeah, but.
Speaker 4: Watch your mouth about target.
Speaker 3: I just dealing with people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. And I also think that reading, uh, reading
Speaker 1: ability can regress. I mean you get out of the practice,
Speaker 1: just like handwriting, right, your handwriting now is nowhere what
Speaker 1: it was, nowhere near what it was like probably when
Speaker 1: you were junior senior in high school because you were
Speaker 1: constantly writing. I don't write things down I mean chicken
Speaker 1: scratch numbers here and there. I don't write things down
Speaker 1: every day. I'll go days without using a pen or
Speaker 1: a pencil.
Speaker 3: I always had third grade level handwriting.
Speaker 4: Unfortunately, write me something right, I like, well, you're right with.
Speaker 3: The wrong hand, dummy. The it gets even worse.
Speaker 2: They didn't beat that out. Uh huh, you're my age.
Speaker 2: There were no left handing, that's perfectly.
Speaker 4: Would you write like you're right handed though?
Speaker 3: Oh I do. I don't know.
Speaker 5: I just always like people. When I signed my niece's
Speaker 5: like certificate for because I like a left hand, yet
Speaker 5: I officiated her wedding and like both her and her
Speaker 5: now husband were like whoa dude?
Speaker 1: Like when I was just writing my name, like GEO,
Speaker 1: I didn't realize you had palsy exactly.
Speaker 3: You should have been a doctor.
Speaker 2: But look at how lame that is when I write
Speaker 2: with my left hand.
Speaker 3: Oh, it would be legible.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's a joke.
Speaker 3: O can't turn hers off for a second time out.
Speaker 3: Good for you. You found my limit.
Speaker 5: Evidently I didn't even know I had one. The other part,
Speaker 5: so my kids, I've seen them like read aloud. They
Speaker 5: mess up words constantly, which drives me up a wall.
Speaker 5: I was never like I imagine both of you enjoyed reading.
Speaker 5: I know Shannon does a lot. I have never been
Speaker 5: a person who enjoyed reading. I like listening to like
Speaker 5: business books, like audio books.
Speaker 3: I like that. I'm I will read a book if
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 5: I read like Ready Player one and the Harry Potter
Speaker 5: book said there was stuff like that, but sixth grade
Speaker 5: level exactly.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying is and I've been I'm the
Speaker 3: guy who's.
Speaker 4: Shocked when you say your kids mix up words? What
Speaker 4: do you mean?
Speaker 5: They say it like they'll say something like, uh, I can't.
Speaker 3: Even give the example because it's such poor grammar.
Speaker 5: Like I just feel like I'm constantly going it's uh,
Speaker 5: it's I don't know, it's magnification.
Speaker 2: Like I would say something mess up, could care less
Speaker 2: versus no.
Speaker 3: No, we're not even at that high level.
Speaker 5: And it's like blatantly like I don't think the words
Speaker 5: you just put together Like I.
Speaker 4: Understood you on this show.
Speaker 2: I understood that every day people lose their freaking minds.
Speaker 3: No we're not there, then they should.
Speaker 5: Definitely, we could desensitize these people by having them dinner
Speaker 5: with my family okay, because it's me constantly going no,
Speaker 5: it's this word, and my Jack loves to drive me
Speaker 5: a ball.
Speaker 3: He goes same difference. I'm like, no, no, it's not
Speaker 3: the same difference.
Speaker 1: If it was, then I would understand.
Speaker 5: I go, I can't send you into a job interview
Speaker 5: using words like this.
Speaker 3: That is nothing to Oh, yes, I know. That's the
Speaker 3: one time that I know I'm being the victim of it.
Speaker 3: You still can't stop it, can't stop it.
Speaker 5: It's how we communicates, Like communication is very important. The
Speaker 5: other part that shocked me about this is like how
Speaker 5: much it's directly correlated to like earnings. People will read
Speaker 5: at a sixth grade level on average in US make
Speaker 5: sixty three thousand dollars a year. If you're at a
Speaker 5: fifth grade level, dips all the way down to forty eight.
Speaker 5: And I was like, wow, like especially, I mean, I
Speaker 5: guess today we're all on computers, but just pick of books.
Speaker 3: I guess, Yeah. It's not just the book, it's the
Speaker 3: kind of book. It's the style of book. It's the
Speaker 3: language of the book.
Speaker 1: And I think of different writing styles. The most outlandish
Speaker 1: writing style that I can think of that I of
Speaker 1: a book that I enjoyed was The Road by Cormick
Speaker 1: McCarthy because there, I mean, he was missing punctuation in
Speaker 1: that book, but it was so I mean, you got
Speaker 1: to know the rules to break the rules. So clearly
Speaker 1: he knows how to use punctuation, but he didn't in
Speaker 1: this book. That to me is a well above a
Speaker 1: sixth grade level book because of that kind of knowledge.
Speaker 3: Not just the big words, not.
Speaker 1: Just the the technical aspects potentially of a book that
Speaker 1: you're reading, but the way the language is used is
Speaker 1: probably the best indicator of the level of book. You
Speaker 1: don't get that anywhere. I mean even you know, you
Speaker 1: could read the New York Times online or in print,
Speaker 1: whatever you want to do. It's not written. You know,
Speaker 1: you're always taught in journalisms the newspaper writing. It's not
Speaker 1: written that way. It's written to be consumed by the
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say the lowest common denominator, but a pretty
Speaker 1: low common denominator. And there's no challenge after you get
Speaker 1: past sixth grade. You read science books, biology or something
Speaker 1: like that in high school, but after that there's no more.
Speaker 1: There's no challenge unless you bring it upon yourself. Where
Speaker 1: you work in an industry where that's going to be
Speaker 1: required reading.
Speaker 3: It's just not out there.
Speaker 5: And I also always wonder, like Chicken or the Egg, like,
Speaker 5: are people who naturally inclined to read are just gonna
Speaker 5: also they're just going to naturally want to improve, right
Speaker 5: like schmucks like me, like I like to improve in business.
Speaker 5: Like that's interesting to me. But I very rarely will
Speaker 5: read a piece of fiction or something like that. It's
Speaker 5: not my jam. I don't like it.
Speaker 3: I would much rather watch.
Speaker 1: The movie an somebody else figure out all the visuals
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, yeah, paint the picture for me and
Speaker 1: I break it down. What a flip book?
Speaker 4: Very male ver. We will talk trenday.
Speaker 3: Only time I've been called that.
Speaker 4: It was the only time I've done that about you.
Speaker 3: It's not a good right.
Speaker 1: Don't forget what you're watching Wednesday coming up. Let us
Speaker 1: know what you're watching on the talkback feature on the iHeart.
Speaker 1: Gary and Shannon will be back right after this