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Speaker 1: People believe that success in sales has to come at

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a cost, burnout, imposter syndrome, and that feeling that you're

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performing more than you're actually leading. But what if playing

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big didn't mean losing yourself in the process. Today, I'm

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joined by Christy Straw, leadership coach and author of Unicorn Leader,

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to explore the subtle mindset traps that keep sales leaders

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stuck and how to step into authentic, soul aligned leadership

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that actually works. Christy, Welcome to this show. I just

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have to say I love you. I love your energy.

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Just We've gotten to already engage a little bit IK

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on your show recently, and I have been so excited

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to have you on just to share more about your framework,

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more about what you teach in terms of soul aligned leadership.

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I think that that's something that probably every listener of

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the show is wanting to learn how to tap into,

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whether they're leading themselves, leading a team, or maybe they

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have aspirations of leadership. So welcome. I am so excited

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to have you, and I'd love to just give you

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the opportunity to introduce yourself the work that you do.

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I know you're also a mom of three so shout

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out to you doing this well, taking care of the

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babies so much respect. But I'd love to hear a

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little bit more about who you are. Just introduce you

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to the audience to start.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, Thank you so much, Elise. It is

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a pleasure to be here. Obviously loved having you on

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my show as well, so thank you for that. And

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you know, what you said in the intro really hits

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home for me because I too have lived a version

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of success that looked really shiny from the outside but

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felt somewhat hollow on the inside. You know, I've led

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high stakes teams, I've hit all the sales targets, but

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Waniet Lee, really I was unraveling. And it wasn't until

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I really stopped performing and started leading from a place

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of authentic authority and from my values that I saw

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the shift. So not just in results, but in my

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own energy right and honestly my sense of peace. And

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so that's why I created the Unicorn Leader Framework, which

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is a high EQ leadership framework. And the reason I

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did so was because we don't need more top high

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flying sales performers who are burning out. We need more

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leaders who are aligned and awake and anchored really in

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who they are and in their value system.

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Speaker 1: You spoke about and you said something there that I

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want to go a little bit deeper into, which is

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performing versus leading with our values and leading authentically. What

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does that mean?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, well, first it's still from something really

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personal and the fact that leadership to me is super personal,

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and so founding Lighthouse Leadership Consultants was born from a

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personal reckoning is like what I tell people, right, I

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saw all the toxic environments. I watched multifaceted talented women's

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shrink or shut down and realizing ultimately that somebody was

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going to have to rewrite the playbook. And so I

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decided really to be you know, the change that I

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wanted to see, you know, to harken some Barack Obama

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in here. And so that really was what creating Leadership

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Framework was about. That's what it was about for me,

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finding peace and really recognizing that there's a different way

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to be, there's a different way to lead, and there's

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a different energy from which I'm going to have to

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operate from in order to go This next part of

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the journey.

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Speaker 1: Makes total sense. How do we know if performing? I'm

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curious your take on that. If someone's listening to this

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and they're like, Okay, I think I get it, but yea,

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how do we know if we.

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Speaker 2: Are Yeah, I think we know. And I always know

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I'm performing. When I'm not, I feel a little disassociated

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from what I'm saying. So for me, if I'm in

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a room and i'm really keynoting on something that is

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super exciting and that I'm really pumped up about. So,

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for instance, I just got back from Baltimore Training and

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organization on bias and stigma around mental health and you know,

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microaggressions in the workplace, That's a very different experience than keynoting. Hey,

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this is how you take up space and how you

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have your own brand. And so I notice for myself

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that when I feel that I'm performing, I typically am

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pretty disconnected to what's actually coming out of my mouth.

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I'm not sure if I'm staying on track. I'm not

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sure how I feel when the curtain comes down or

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the silence, and you know, on the drive home is

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a little more deafening than I would like. Those are

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really great indicators for people to feel and maybe wonder

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am I code switching? Am I having to change who

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I am in one space to another and am I performing?

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Speaker 1: And if so, well, I think that's it's so helpful

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to dive into. And I'm curious from your taking your

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perspective on this if because probably everyone can relate to that.

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I know I can relate to that, And sometimes I

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get it as a speaker. It's like someone says, hey,

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can you come in and speak on this or that,

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and you're like, oh, it's not really my zone or genius,

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it's not what I love. Or a client asks you

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to coach them on something that's not your zone of genius.

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Are you proposing that we should be saying no to

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opportunities that aren't soul aligned and we'll unpack more of

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your framework here as we go, But are you proposing

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that that's an indication, Okay, we're misaligned with what we're

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doing and we should be saying no to those things.

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Are Is there a different solution or a different path.

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Speaker 2: That's a great question. I think it's pretty situational actually,

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because for those who are growth minded and your energy

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is such that you always want to stretch and you

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want to grow around your edges, I would never suggest

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somebody say no necessarily to an opportunity that is adjacent

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to what you already know and are good at. But

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for those who maybe already feel stretched, or maybe you're

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already in a growth mindset and a different facet of

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your life, or maybe you just don't have the energy

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to feel excited around an opportunity that isn't soul aligned

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or super aligned with what you're doing. Those are times

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when I think it is better to just be honest

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first with yourself and have self empathy and compassion right

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and say, Okay, you know, I have some other priorities

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that are really requiring more of me, Or I don't

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feel particularly growth minded around this topic, or I don't

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think I'm going to show up at my best and

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then that's a brand issue. Are all times when I

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think it does make a lot of sense to step

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to the side and really reconsider your time and the

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return on the investment of your time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense. Tell us about So. I'm very

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curious about this framework that you've developed, the Unicorn Leader framework,

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and it's a great nice either way. So I know

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that it emphasizes traits like empathy, like authenticity, but I'd

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love if you could start by sharing for someone who

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hasn't read your book or isn't familiar with your work.

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What does that framework include? An entail?

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I love that you said it's

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a great name, because you know, I was floating the

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idea of Unicorn Leader as a name at a conference

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it'll be a year ago in April, so a year

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ago in a couple of weeks, and people were literally like, oh, no, no,

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you should not go into the business world with anything

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called Unicorn Leader. You know, it sounds really fluffy. That

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sounds like a gift I would give my granddaughter who's

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like seven. You know, I got a lot of feedback,

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and it was great feedback, and I needed to hear

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it because what it ultimately had me do was move

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from just this idea of being a Unicorn Leader, which

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I'd always been called, to creating a framework to give

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some data and some substance behind the name. And so

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I'm grateful for the feedback that these people shared with me,

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because really, in essence, when I moved my ego out

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of the way and could hear what they were saying,

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they were saying, Hey, I hear you, but it doesn't

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really sound seriously serious enough to be taken seriously in

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the business context, and so I really built the framework

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around the fact that Unicorn is an acronym for unique, nimble, nurturing, inspiring, compassionate, optimistic, resilient,

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and noble. And so the framework itself is a high

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EQ sales and leadership framework that emphasizes empathy and authenticity

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and how these traits actually influence quite a bit mindset

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and performance. And so it's not a weakness empathy certainly

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is not. It's actually a leadership multiplier, is how I've

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looked at it. The sales leaders who I coach and

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who lead with empathy consistently outperform those who manage bimetrics alone.

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And then you have the fact that when you have

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empathy and when you learn how to lead in a

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high EQ way, you're incredibly authentic. And that authenticity is

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what builds trust, and trust, I believe is what builds

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belief and drives belief, and the belief in somebody or

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something they're offering is what actually closes a deal.

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Speaker 1: I think that's important. The belief in someone and what

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they're offering is what closes a deal. If you're ready

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to quantumly, I've got something great for you. Inside my

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ten k club, I teach the Superhuman Selling Framework, which

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is the mindset and strategy that's helped both me and

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my clients exponentially increase our income while also experiencing more joy, peace,

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and alignment than ever before. You can apply today at

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a lease archer dot com slash ten k club. Guys

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listening to you talk about the traits, and I think

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they're all powerful and needed. And what I'm curious about is,

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I'm guessing for our particular audience because they tend to

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be highly emotionally aware, they tend to be highly evolved

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in this area. I'm wondering if there's all almost another

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side of it where someone may really embody all of

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those traits and they're stepping into leadership and there's maybe

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more discomfort around the management or around the metrics, or

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how do I still embody these qualities but hold people accountable.

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So I'd love to hear what you would say to

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someone who's maybe on the other side of that spectrum

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and how we can continue to have those qualities but

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also be comfortable having the difficult conversations or driving results.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that's such a great question, and that is

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something that I constantly have from a discussion standpoint with executives,

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mostly wealth management firms financial services, because that's really where

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my background comes from, sales coaching and financial services and

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wealth management firms, and a lot of times they struggle

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with the idea that empathy and execution can coexist. One

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of the things I often say, and people chuckle, is

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I promise you a lease. These people in wealth management

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and financial services would have rather seen me show up

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and embezzle money or break into the vault then bring

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a feelings wheel into the executive suite, right, Like I

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am not kidding. They were so, so so uncomfortable and

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they just could not wrap their minds in the beginning

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around this idea that empathy and execution can coexist. And

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so the issues that I ran into there were people

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who were not highly self aware. And so the good

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news is for people who are highly self aware, all

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you have to really learn to do is to step

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into the discomfort of sharing uncomfortable feedback. Because since you

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already have IQ and since our EQ and IQ, right,

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since you already have those traits, all you need to

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do is figure out how do I communicate critically and

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curiously and non judgmentally with this person I'm sitting across

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from And since I'm already a high EQ leader, I'm

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going to be able to discern whether the person across

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from me is driven by one of these three principles

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that Daniel Pink talks about all the time, mastery, autonomy,

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or purpose. All of us are driven by those things,

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one more importantly or more emphatically than the other at

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any point in time. So for me right now, I'm

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driven by mastery. I want to master this space. I

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want to master keynote speaking, I want to master providing workshops,

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I want to master thought leadership. So if somebody who

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was high EQ wanted to have a conversation with me

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and it was more of an execution conversation and hey,

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how are we going to boost results or whatever the

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case might be, if they really focused on opportunities for

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me to continue to grow my mastery, since that's my

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internal driving factor right now, I would be super open

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to that conversation. But if they focused instead on autonomy,

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like let's say, back in the olden days, you know,

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when I didn't have any autonomy and I was a manager,

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I was really driven by autonomy. I just wanted people

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to leave me the hell alone and let me do

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my job. Right, So a lot of salespeople can understand that.

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But if I was driven by autonomy and instead this

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leader or this sales person came to me and wanted

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to talk about continuing education skill development, would you like

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some executive coaching? Do you think that's going to attract

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me or repel me? If I'm driven by autonomy. So

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we are driven by one of these three things more

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so than others at any point in time, And as

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soon as high EQ leaders and salespeople figure out what

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their prospect, client, or employee is driven by, it's game over.

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Speaker 1: Interesting. I've never heard it, so I haven't read the

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book obviously, haven't heard it positioned that way, but it

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makes it makes total sense. How do we Is there

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a quick way to discern or to tell Yeah, who

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leading like what they're driven by?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely? So the people who are driven by autonomy,

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you know they're going to present in a way that

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it's like, okay, I will you don't need to check

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up on me all the time? Or could this have

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just been an email instead of a meeting, or do

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we really need to have a one on one so often,

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can I not just send you my pipeline report and

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let that be it. Those are people who are driven

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by autonomy. Basically, what they're saying is I just only

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want to hear from you when you have a check

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for me, or you're trying to tell me how to

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get a deal done. Right. So, the people who are

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driven by purpose, those are people who are absolutely always

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talking about the mission, the values, the why behind what

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we do. And for a long time, I was really

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driven by purpose when I first started my own business. Right,

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this is the why I experienced painful, hurtful things in

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corporate America, And so I was so purpose driven. Most

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of my posts, most of my conversations really talked about

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changing and it being a type of generational wealth to

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change leadership in corporate America. Right, And people who are

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driven by mastery are going to say things like, Hey,

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do we do any type of executive coaching around here?

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Do you have any book recommendations? Hey, I don't really

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feel like you gave me a lot of actionable feedback

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in our last one on one session. These are people

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who are really driven by mastery and are telling you

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that in order for them to respect you and want

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to win as a leader or as a prospect. You

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know you've got to speak to those intrinsic driving backs.

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Speaker 1: Okay, thank you for clarifying that. Yeah, and I'm curious

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we all follow up on that. So for those of

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us who are leading others, if we are, I think

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here's the question. Can we be a successful leader of others,

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supportive of our team, and personally be driven by autonomy

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not want to have a ton of meetings? Now? Is

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that kind of leaving the team hanging and not being

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available the way that you should be. I'm really curious

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your perspective on that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that. I think so many things can coexist. Now,

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I did just get off beyond the binary training right

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where I taught a whole entire room ow to rewire

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their mindset so they didn't think in either or or.

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And so my answer is absolutely, I am very often,

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very driven by autonomy. I don't want things to slow

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me down. I'm also neurodiverse, I'm adhd and so I'm

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a systems thinker. I'm all about efficiency. I don't like waiting.

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I certainly don't like waiting and then having to redoce something,

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and so I'm very much driven by autonomy, and those

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things can change at different points, like I said, in

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your career or in the relationships that you have. I

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think the important thing to note is while you're driven

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by autonomy, if you're a leader, you have to speak

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to what's driving the individual on your team that you're coaching. Right,

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your boss, if you have one, whether it's a board

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of directors, whether it's a VC firm, whatever, they need

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to understand that you're driven by autonomy. And then also

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you got to make sure those goals are in alignment

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for you know, the positionality of the organization.

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Speaker 1: Okay, got it. Thank you. Because I'm even personally reflecting here.

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I know I'm a woman who's highly driven by autonium.

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That's been something that transparently has come up. Yeah, you

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have built our team and brought more people on, and

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so sometimes there can be almost the sense of in

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our conflict of like, of course, I want everyone to

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be succeeding and thriving, and I don't love meetings. Just

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have meetings. I don't want to, you know, I don't

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want to be having unnecessary conversations. And I love my

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team and I support my team, and I think you're amazing.

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So sometimes there's been an inner conflict, and I hear

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you saying there's a way to do both and to

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the most important thing is to know what drives the

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team that you're leading and speak to them in their

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language and make sure communicating to them in the lens

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of what matters the most.

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Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, And if there's a misalignment, right, that's okay.

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But because you're high EQ, and because the majority of

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the people that work with high EQ people are also

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have a fair degree of self awareness and situational intelligence,

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you know you will be able to have a really

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rich dialogue even if there is some moments of discomfort,

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because we need in nyes right that that's when we

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go grow through our edges, is really when we get

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to the place that we're absolutely performing.

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Speaker 1: I love this, And you mentioned before that you're very

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focused on training mindset. We do a lot around mindset

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rewiring and belief rewiring in our programs. And I know

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everyone has different approach to this and kind of a

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different method that I don't believe there's a one size

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fits all approach to it, But I'm curious your take

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on this. Do you see one common self sabotaging pattern

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and maybe even experienced sales leaders fall into in terms

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of their thoughts and their beliefs.

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Speaker 2: You know, I do see a pattern that typically most

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of my clients tend to present, and a lot of

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times they don't even know what it is. They just

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see that it's repeating at each place they go. And

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typically that pattern is I call it, and it's commonly

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referred to tallest poppy syndrome. Right. It's where you're a

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shiny star, you're a tall poppy amongst the field of

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other flowers. And ultimately, what brings you into a space

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and people are super excited about quickly turns into something

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where you're starting to feel sidelined or you're starting to feel,

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you know, maybe that you're out of place. And it

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tends to come from putting ourselves in places that want

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us to be smaller than who we actually are, and

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so we spend our energy focusing on being small enough

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or digestible enough, or not too shiny, and this creates

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a massive misalignment. And honestly, all of that starts with

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emotional honesty. A lot of high achievers are incredible at

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execution a lease, like absolutely incredible, but freaking disconnected from

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their own emotional cues. And so the mindset shift, it

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doesn't happen in your Google calendar. It happens in the

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quiet moments on your way home, you know, in your

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quiet moments before you hit the hay at night. Who

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am I actually doing this for? And it's the answer

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isn't you yourself? And you then it's time to recalibrate,

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because that is yet another sign that you're performing, like

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we talked about earlier in the show, and then that

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you're disconnected from what you actually truly want to be doing.

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And like I said, for most of the women who

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come find me, it's they're trying to remain small in

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a space that they can never be small enough.

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Speaker 1: And that could be a whole nother epicode. I mean,

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it really could. And I think it's it's such an

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important conversation and something probably many of us can relate to.

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Even outside of business. We'd just look at circles that

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we've maybe outgrown, or places we put ourselves into, or

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feeling like we have to perform. And I think the

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question that you asked there, that you poised there for

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someone to ask of who am I doing this? For

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can be a very sobering question to ask, and there

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have been more multiple times in my career where I

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realized I was building something or doing something because it's

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what I thought I should be doing. And you know,

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we're never in our full power when we're doing that,

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and it's taken courage to be willing in those moments

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to kind of pause and say, what do I really want? Well,

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especially for those of us I think who are empathetic,

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who do care a lot about other people. One of

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my experiences with leading and growing a team is I

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would be so concerned about making sure that everybody else

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was okay and getting their needs met that sometimes I

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would I didn't know how to also meet my own

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needs with that, and so there's been a lot of

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learning and growth and I think I've always got more

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to learn there, but have definitely done some deep work

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on that. But to come back to who am I

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really doing this for? What do we do if we

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find out like if someone does that, like, oh my gosh,

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this is completely misaligned, Like maybe the company I'm building,

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the role I'm in on the team, whatever it is.

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What would you say to someone who asked that question

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and they realized they're completely out of alignment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, the first thing again is I just start

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with awareness is so critical. And so for somebody who

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comes to that conclusion and they're like, oh gosh, I'm

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already halfway down this path. I very much felt that

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way in the c suite. I felt that way the

403
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job before, when I was leading a thirty billion dollar pink.

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I knew that I was not living in my full purpose,

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and for me, that was being free to talk about

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emotional cues. Honesty needs emotional intelligence through the lens of

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how that helps people show up. And so what I

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had to do was really decide, Okay, I've lived the

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first forty three years of my life really doing a

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lot for everyone else. I've got three kids ranging from

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seventeen to twelve, a marriage of twenty something years. I

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just thought to myself, maybe I'll spend the next forty

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three years of my life doing for me and what

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is truly in alignment with me. And that is scary.

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And you said something about courage, and I often tell

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people confidence is not courage. They're not the same thing.

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I was a highly confident woman in business, right, but

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I didn't have the courage for a year and a half.

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Now I stand in full authentic. They've built a whole

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entire program around it. I tea people how to do

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it every single day, become the thought leader, sell differently,

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lead differently, brand differently, all through this lens and I

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stand in full authentic authority. But that's because the courage

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came by doing it. Afraid.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, That's how you build courage, and then that confidence

427
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literally spews out of me no matter what space I'm in.

428
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And the cool thing, elease is if that attracts you

429
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or repels you, I'm just happy you had a reaction. Yes, yes,

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And I think underneath that too is the we have

431
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to have the belief that we can make the courageous choice,

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make the uncomfortable choice, and still be safe and still

433
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be okay. And that in fact, by doing that to

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me one of the things that I've come to believe,

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and it's come from a lot of moments of not

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trusting myself. But every time I trust myself and make

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the choice based on what feels most in alignment for

438
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what I know and for where I'm going, that is

439
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where I thrive the most. That is where I am

440
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,920
most successful, even if I can't see the full path yet,

441
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and even if it involves disentangling some stuff that's no

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longer aligned. So wow, powerful, I want to ask you.

443
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Speaker 1: So we've got just some short, rapid fire kind of

444
00:26:08,799 --> 00:26:12,440
fill in the blanks question. I think this is a

445
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,599
fun way to get in your mind in a quick,

446
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,640
accessible way and have care.

447
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Speaker 2: I love it.

448
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Speaker 1: We've been in for the whole episode. I'm loving it.

449
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I think it's amazing. But so I'm going to ask

450
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you a series of a couple of questions. Just I'm

451
00:26:29,599 --> 00:26:31,279
going to start a sentence. I'm going to have you

452
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fill in the blanks at the end, just with whatever

453
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comes to mind. First you ready, all right? So First one,

454
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you can't lead a team if you.

455
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Speaker 2: Don't trust yourself.

456
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 1: First awesome, Okay. Number two, the leadership team that you

457
00:26:51,759 --> 00:26:54,640
used to excuse me, the leadership trait that you used

458
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to overlook but now you live by is what unique?

459
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:05,799
M unique. I love that. I love that. Okay. Third one,

460
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the moment you knew you had to leave differently was when.

461
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Speaker 2: What Oh, I showed up to a meeting with vomit

462
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still in my hair because I was afraid of my boss.

463
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Speaker 1: Ooh too afraid to take the time to go get Yeah. Yeah, wow.

464
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Many of us can relate to some sort of moment

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like that, but yeah that I could see that being

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a sobering moment.

467
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Speaker 2: Yes it was. I was like, what the hell is

468
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:46,720
going on here? You are a grown woman whoa.

469
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Speaker 1: No hashtag mom life here like no, like, this is

470
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,839
just it's a it's a realignment. Opportunity is what it is,

471
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:55,400
right and then okay, so final final two. Playing small

472
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looks like.

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Speaker 2: Ooh uh, making yourself digest vestable for people who really

474
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don't want you there anyway.

475
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Speaker 1: Ooh I love that, making yourself digestible for people who

476
00:28:07,759 --> 00:28:10,440
don't really want you there anyway. So the flip side,

477
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:15,480
playing big looks like what oh, that's authentic authority baby, right.

478
00:28:15,599 --> 00:28:18,319
Speaker 2: That is like, listen, I know who I am, I

479
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,599
know what drives me, and you know what I wish

480
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,119
you well. Whether you like me or you don't, it's

481
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,279
really not my business.

482
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: I love that, and that's when we're in our full power.

483
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:33,200
This has been such a fun conversation and I appreciate

484
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,279
I think that there was so much that we touched

485
00:28:35,319 --> 00:28:39,279
on that's going to help those who are either leaders

486
00:28:39,359 --> 00:28:44,200
or aspiring leaders but also the common thread throughout of

487
00:28:45,119 --> 00:28:49,119
being in full alignment with yourself and not no longer

488
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:54,000
choosing to downplay or minimize to fit in the rooms

489
00:28:54,039 --> 00:28:56,720
with the people who don't really want you there in

490
00:28:56,759 --> 00:29:00,119
the first place, or who more than likely you've outgrown

491
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:04,240
as well. So wow, Christy, tell everyone how can they

492
00:29:04,279 --> 00:29:06,400
connect with you? How can they learn more about your

493
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,400
work and what you do and get plugged into your

494
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:10,960
community if they would like to?

495
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely, you can find me on LinkedIn. I'm super active.

496
00:29:14,799 --> 00:29:18,400
It's Christy Straw on LinkedIn. I also have a LinkedIn

497
00:29:18,599 --> 00:29:22,319
live show called The Last Straw, so that's super easy

498
00:29:22,359 --> 00:29:25,039
to remember and feel free shooting note, I'd love to

499
00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:26,400
see everybody and have a chat.

500
00:29:26,559 --> 00:29:30,839
Speaker 1: Amazing. Well, I appreciate this. This has been a conversation

501
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,880
that I personally have learned so much from and that

502
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,599
to me is always a beautiful experience to get to

503
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,559
share your wisdom and your expertise with the community while

504
00:29:40,559 --> 00:29:43,839
also getting to learn myself. So thank you again, yeah

505
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,759
for taking the time for being here and for modeling

506
00:29:47,799 --> 00:29:51,680
what it looks like to unapologetically take up space and

507
00:29:51,799 --> 00:29:55,279
also really own who you are, own your gifts. And

508
00:29:55,319 --> 00:29:59,480
then inspire others to do the same. To you, my listener,

509
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,839
thank you so much for being here, for being part

510
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,720
of the Superhuman selling community, and I just want to

511
00:30:05,759 --> 00:30:09,319
remind you as we close to trust yourself on your

512
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,319
path to success. Your desires are green lights leading you

513
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,839
and everyone around you to a brighter feature. I'll see

514
00:30:16,839 --> 00:30:27,359
you on the next episode.