WEBVTT 1 00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:12.720 This podcast is not a monster story podcast. I'm reading 2 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:17.600 two fictional short stories by published writers. The first story 3 00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:23.399 is called George, written by Shane Brown. Shane is the 4 00:00:23.399 --> 00:00:29.800 son of Larry Brown, the nationally renowned Southern writer from Oxford, Mississippi, 5 00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:36.799 who had several published books. Shane is he's making it 6 00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:39.600 on his own accord. He's got a publishing deal. I've 7 00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:42.399 met him. He is such a nice man, and I 8 00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:45.719 met his mother and his family and actually bought some 9 00:00:45.799 --> 00:00:48.119 ice cream front. They have a dairy farm down in 10 00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:51.280 close to Oxford. I don't know when his book is 11 00:00:51.320 --> 00:00:54.000 going to come out. He's writing it now. I don't 12 00:00:54.039 --> 00:00:56.479 know if it's a collection of short stories, a novel 13 00:00:56.840 --> 00:00:58.439 or what it is. But when it comes out, i'll 14 00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:02.600 let you know. The second story is called Chasing Rabbits. 15 00:01:02.679 --> 00:01:05.480 The author is Michael Ferris Smith, who you all have 16 00:01:05.560 --> 00:01:09.560 heard me read some stuff from his writing. This particular 17 00:01:09.719 --> 00:01:15.840 short story was his directorial debut in filmmaking. It's become 18 00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:18.079 a film. I'm going to try to find it and 19 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:20.200 put the link in the description if you want to 20 00:01:20.200 --> 00:01:22.799 watch the It's about a twenty or thirty minute short 21 00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:26.719 film that follows this storyline. Actually I've seen it. I 22 00:01:26.760 --> 00:01:29.560 went to the screening of it. It was entered in 23 00:01:29.640 --> 00:01:34.159 a film festival in Oxford, maybe a couple of months ago. 24 00:01:34.280 --> 00:01:37.760 I actually got to meet Michael for about fifteen seconds. 25 00:01:37.760 --> 00:01:41.519 He's real nice guy, great writer. But the second story 26 00:01:41.599 --> 00:01:45.560 is called Chasing Rabbits by Michael Ferris Smith. Before we 27 00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:49.599 go any further, there is profanity in one or both 28 00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:53.680 of these stories. I can't recall. If strong language offends you, 29 00:01:54.159 --> 00:01:57.760 don't listen, and don't leave me a comment about how 30 00:01:57.799 --> 00:02:01.200 disappointed you are in me about me reading these stories. 31 00:02:01.239 --> 00:02:04.640 This is literature. This isn't just pulp type fiction. This 32 00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:07.480 is These writers are good. These guys know how to 33 00:02:07.519 --> 00:02:10.479 tell a story. They're good. And if you're from the 34 00:02:10.520 --> 00:02:15.800 South for more, particularly from Mississippi, these stories will sound 35 00:02:15.919 --> 00:02:19.159 like something your neighbor just told you. You will, you 36 00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:22.879 will recognize the culture right away, and I think you'll 37 00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:26.120 enjoy these stories. If you're not from Mississippi or anywhere 38 00:02:26.120 --> 00:02:29.400 in the southern state, I think you should enjoy them. 39 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:33.080 We have a wonderful culture of just common people down here, 40 00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:36.039 and I love it. And there's plenty of material to 41 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:38.840 write great stories about. So I'll shut up. I hope 42 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:42.120 you guys enjoy this podcast. I appreciate you clicking on 43 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:53.800 the video. All right, here we go George by Shane Brown. 44 00:02:55.520 --> 00:02:58.240 George stopped by the house last night, and he never 45 00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:01.439 did that. Last night. It was the first night, but 46 00:03:01.560 --> 00:03:04.639 I know it won't be the last. I didn't even 47 00:03:04.680 --> 00:03:07.240 really know George, but he acted like I knew him 48 00:03:07.240 --> 00:03:10.719 a lot. I started feeling that as we sat inside 49 00:03:10.759 --> 00:03:14.080 the car port and talked. I was in my chair 50 00:03:14.120 --> 00:03:16.599 beside the mini fridge that I used to keep extra 51 00:03:16.680 --> 00:03:20.360 beer in for buddies to come over. It's always dashed 52 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.360 with an ash tray and a candle. I like my 53 00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:27.439 car port. That's my favorite part of the house I 54 00:03:27.479 --> 00:03:30.719 think George liked it a lot too. It seemed like 55 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:33.400 he felt some type of connection to me last night 56 00:03:33.479 --> 00:03:36.120 when I sat there and listen to him talk and 57 00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:40.639 sometimes cry, and all I said was, yeah, I understand, 58 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:44.400 and it'll be all right. George was a little drunk. 59 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:48.719 George is a pretty good guy. My beer was cold 60 00:03:48.759 --> 00:03:51.800 and I was a little thirsty. After driving fourteen hours 61 00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:54.759 hauling a load of steel down to Gulf Shores, Alabama, 62 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:59.080 my truck just got parked when George pulled up. I 63 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:01.879 didn't even know George's truck until he got out and 64 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.439 walked over with a drink and a plastic cup. I 65 00:04:05.520 --> 00:04:08.360 said hey to George, and George said hey back to me. 66 00:04:09.560 --> 00:04:12.280 I was putting down my blockers behind the tires and 67 00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:15.680 ready to crawl inside of my car port. He started 68 00:04:15.719 --> 00:04:19.680 talking like we were old friends. He started telling me 69 00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:22.519 things that I knew that I didn't really want to know, 70 00:04:23.079 --> 00:04:25.319 and I got to wondering who he was and where 71 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:29.560 he came from. I started second guessing my mind and 72 00:04:29.759 --> 00:04:33.639 started thinking that maybe I really didn't know George. But 73 00:04:33.720 --> 00:04:36.160 I was more worried about how cold my beer was 74 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:39.240 and about the other ones in the cooler. I was 75 00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:41.720 ready to relax from my long ride and have my 76 00:04:41.800 --> 00:04:44.199 own time in the carport and have a few coal 77 00:04:44.240 --> 00:04:47.879 ones alone. But I didn't get to be alone. George 78 00:04:47.879 --> 00:04:50.639 had followed me into the car port and sat down. 79 00:04:52.319 --> 00:04:55.399 I found out that George's wife didn't love him anymore. 80 00:04:55.959 --> 00:04:58.560 She had told him that she had told him that 81 00:04:58.600 --> 00:05:01.319 they needed to be better, that she needed to be 82 00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:04.680 held and told how beautiful she was, and that he 83 00:05:04.720 --> 00:05:08.319 needed to love her more. She also told him that 84 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:11.120 he needed to quit hunting. And fishing and hanging out 85 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:14.480 with all of his fucking friends. She even said that 86 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:17.360 she was tired of cooking supper for him and him 87 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:21.079 not eating it because he didn't like her food. Then 88 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:24.199 he didn't even wash the damn dishes, that that was 89 00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:28.839 his job. He thought that was bullshit. He liked her food. 90 00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:31.839 He was just a little drunk at night, not hungry, 91 00:05:31.879 --> 00:05:36.240 and then he forgot about the dishes. Sometimes George only 92 00:05:36.279 --> 00:05:39.480 forgot about the dishes because he had gotten drunk, because 93 00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:43.000 he had wanted to get drunk. It only happened every 94 00:05:43.079 --> 00:05:46.279 once in a while, but now it happened a lot. 95 00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:49.680 It usually had only happened when she was fussing at him, 96 00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:53.160 and recently it happened again when he went to see Bobby. 97 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:57.600 He had gone out fishing one afternoon with his little cousin, Bobby. 98 00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:01.519 George told me that Bobby could real good and that 99 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:04.680 he always liked him going with him. They fixed and 100 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:07.360 poured each other drinks and helped each other take fish 101 00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:10.560 off the fishing poles that they had dragged off their boat, 102 00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:15.160 and patrol the waters. They talked about different things, about 103 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:17.839 how nice the water was and that the sky looked 104 00:06:17.879 --> 00:06:21.439 pretty and then they told some funny stories about times 105 00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:24.199 when they were kids, and then Bobby would have to 106 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:29.399 hear about George's stories too, after George got drunk, and 107 00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:32.959 Bobby would sit there and say, yeah, I understand, and 108 00:06:33.279 --> 00:06:36.720 it'll be all right too. But Bobby knew more than 109 00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:39.879 I knew. And then Bobby told George some stuff that 110 00:06:39.959 --> 00:06:43.560 afternoon that he thought George knew, stuff that made George 111 00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:47.839 cry some more. George told me that Bobby told him 112 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:50.519 that he thought that his wife might be cheating on him, 113 00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:54.600 but Bobby wasn't for sure. I had only had one 114 00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:57.160 beer in me by this point, and that wasn't enough 115 00:06:57.160 --> 00:06:59.120 for what I was fixing to have to listen to 116 00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:02.639 already wanted another beer, just to try to catch up 117 00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:05.639 to my day and to maybe feel even sawyer for 118 00:07:05.720 --> 00:07:08.480 this son of a bitch than I already did, and 119 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:11.160 for maybe being a little annoyed as I wasn't able 120 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:15.199 to go inside yet and be with Audrey. Now. Bobby 121 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:17.199 wasn't for sure, but he was kind of for sure 122 00:07:17.639 --> 00:07:19.839 because there was a truck that had come over to 123 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:24.079 George's house when George was gone. Bobby had only noticed 124 00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:26.920 it the last couple of weeks when George had been gone. 125 00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:30.199 It was a red truck, and then Bobby said it 126 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:32.879 was late at night, he'd only seen it on his 127 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:36.199 ride home when he passed George's house, and that he 128 00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:38.839 knew George wasn't at home because he was at the 129 00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:42.879 deer camp. George said he started getting mad and screaming 130 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:47.040 and cussing. He said that he started throwing things, and 131 00:07:47.079 --> 00:07:49.519 that even through his fishing pole in the water that 132 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:51.720 his wife had bought him for Christmas when they had 133 00:07:51.759 --> 00:07:55.160 first started dating. He said he yelled at the fishing 134 00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:57.920 pole as it sank in the water to drown bitch. 135 00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:01.600 And then Bobby told George that maybe he didn't need 136 00:08:01.639 --> 00:08:04.160 to fix him another drink and that they should get home, 137 00:08:05.439 --> 00:08:08.199 but George said, fuck that and the fish, and that 138 00:08:08.319 --> 00:08:11.639 he'd be all right. George didn't want to go home, 139 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:16.439 and then Bobby fixed George another drink. I didn't know 140 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:18.600 what to do but sit there and drink my beer 141 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:22.639 and listen. That's what I did. George was mine now. 142 00:08:22.680 --> 00:08:25.480 And then he cried and he started saying some more 143 00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:28.000 stuff about her and him, and about how she didn't 144 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:31.160 love him, and about how he loved her so much. 145 00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:34.440 He took a few drinks and then kind of smiled 146 00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:37.879 at me. He had quit crying and then asked me 147 00:08:37.960 --> 00:08:40.240 if I cared if Charlie got out of the truck. 148 00:08:40.879 --> 00:08:44.200 I asked him who Charlie was, but he smiled bigger 149 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:46.600 and pointed to his truck and said that his dog 150 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:49.440 was in the truck. He looked back at me and 151 00:08:49.559 --> 00:08:52.840 said that that was his wife's dog too. I said 152 00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:55.360 hell now that I didn't care, and ask him why 153 00:08:55.399 --> 00:08:59.080 he had Charlie locked up for this long. George laughed. 154 00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:03.080 I hadn't seen George's life all night. He went to 155 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:05.679 go get Charlie and I went to get another beer. 156 00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:09.480 After I got a beer, I turned to walk inside, 157 00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:12.799 but turned back around and grabbed another one. I was 158 00:09:12.840 --> 00:09:15.279 going to go inside real quick and check to see 159 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:18.039 what Audrey had us for supper, and to tell her 160 00:09:18.080 --> 00:09:21.559 that I was coming inside for good soon when George left, 161 00:09:21.960 --> 00:09:25.159 and to see if she wanted a beer. She usually 162 00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:28.000 drank wine, and usually all of it if it was 163 00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:30.399 in the house, so she probably didn't want any of 164 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:33.840 my cheap beer like I like to drink. I came 165 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:37.080 in the kitchen first, and supper hadn't even been cooked. 166 00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:39.759 But it was laid out over the counter ready to fry. 167 00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:42.720 It looked like she was getting ready to make us 168 00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:45.600 some deer meat. She knew that deer meat was MY 169 00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:48.600 favorite and that I liked eating in a lot. I 170 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.399 came through the living room and one single lamp was 171 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:53.240 on in the corner of the room, and the TV 172 00:09:53.480 --> 00:09:57.120 was on but muted. She wasn't in the living room, 173 00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:00.480 so I kept down the hallway to our bedroom. I 174 00:10:00.519 --> 00:10:02.840 looked in there and she was propped up on the 175 00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:05.440 bed with an empty glass laying in her lap, and 176 00:10:06.200 --> 00:10:09.240 her head was pointed down, and the cigarette was hanging 177 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:11.840 out of her lips, and she was in a deep sleep. 178 00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:15.360 The cigarette had gone out, and I took it from 179 00:10:15.440 --> 00:10:18.720 her mouth and put it in my pocket. I grabbed 180 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:21.240 her glasses and sat it on the night stand beside 181 00:10:21.279 --> 00:10:23.840 our bed, and pulled her and her pillows down and 182 00:10:23.840 --> 00:10:27.360 lowered her on the bed. But she moaned softly a 183 00:10:27.399 --> 00:10:31.440 little bit and mumbled something I didn't understand, and I 184 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:33.720 tucked her in the bed, and I kissed her forehead, 185 00:10:34.080 --> 00:10:37.399 and I cut the light out. I knew then I'd 186 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:40.960 be cooking supper. As I slowly lingered down the hallway 187 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:44.360 and on my way back to the car port, I'd 188 00:10:44.360 --> 00:10:48.360 been getting used to that. I started to make my 189 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:51.600 way back outside, and I glanced through my kitchen window 190 00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:54.519 and I see George just standing in the carport beside 191 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:57.440 the chair that I gave him to sit in. But 192 00:10:57.519 --> 00:10:59.960 he's holding Charlie like a mama would hold her new 193 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:04.480 born baby. A leash angles from the dog's neck, and 194 00:11:04.519 --> 00:11:08.399 George is dancing. He's shaking his hips and he kind 195 00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:10.480 of does half of a spin with his hips and 196 00:11:10.519 --> 00:11:13.879 his legs as he's looking down at Charlie and smiling 197 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:17.720 and saying something to him. I turned up my beer 198 00:11:17.720 --> 00:11:19.679 and I finished it, and I threw it in the 199 00:11:19.679 --> 00:11:22.679 trash can and opened the one I had for Audrey. 200 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:26.480 I turned it up and finished it too, and I 201 00:11:26.519 --> 00:11:28.840 started thinking that I already knew what was going to 202 00:11:28.919 --> 00:11:33.360 be for supper. I walked outside and grabbed another beer, 203 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:36.960 and I smiled at George, and he's really smiling big 204 00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:40.200 at me. I could tell George was a little drunk 205 00:11:40.200 --> 00:11:43.159 and feeling pretty good. He asked me if I'd like 206 00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:45.919 to hold Charlie, and I told him I would later on, 207 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:50.159 and then I sat down in my chair. George walked 208 00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:52.559 over next to me and leaned on the brick wall. 209 00:11:53.240 --> 00:11:56.279 He was smiling and holding and loving on Charlie and 210 00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:58.919 telling him that he was his best friend and that 211 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:01.240 he didn't know what he was ever do without him 212 00:12:01.399 --> 00:12:05.039 or where he would be. Charlie looks scared to me, 213 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:08.240 like he was saying for me to save him, but 214 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:11.240 I didn't know how to save him, and Charlie didn't 215 00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:14.960 know how to save me. George laughed and smiled and 216 00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:17.320 then walked over to the chair I had gotten for him, 217 00:12:17.320 --> 00:12:22.679 and he sat down again. George's plastic cup was back full, 218 00:12:22.759 --> 00:12:25.600 and I asked him what he was drinking. He told 219 00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:27.919 me it was four roses with half a bit of 220 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:31.639 Diight coke. He sipped it after I asked, and then 221 00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:34.000 he turned the rest of it up and he finished it. 222 00:12:34.759 --> 00:12:36.840 He put Charlie on the floor of the car port 223 00:12:36.919 --> 00:12:40.120 and started tangling his leash up in some twisted way 224 00:12:40.159 --> 00:12:42.720 around one of the arms of the chair, and I 225 00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:46.960 started to worry about Charlie. I'm thinking that it's maybe 226 00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:50.600 a knot that he has tied. Charlie just stared as 227 00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:55.799 I did. Hell, Charlie didn't care. I didn't either. George 228 00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:59.399 doesn't even know if he cares. George's truck is still running. 229 00:13:00.039 --> 00:13:02.840 Heastel engine has been loud on our talk since he 230 00:13:02.919 --> 00:13:06.879 pulled up to my carport. I say something about the 231 00:13:06.919 --> 00:13:10.240 truck running well. He laughs and tells me he's sorry 232 00:13:10.320 --> 00:13:13.000 that it's been on and ask if he needed to 233 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:16.879 cut it off. I told him I didn't care. He 234 00:13:16.919 --> 00:13:19.440 said he had been keeping the truck crank for Charlie 235 00:13:19.480 --> 00:13:22.440 to stay warm while he's been talking, and he didn't 236 00:13:22.440 --> 00:13:25.639 want Charlie bothering anybody, and he had forgotten to cut 237 00:13:25.639 --> 00:13:29.360 it off. When he got Charlie out, George got up 238 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:31.639 to crank the truck off and to tell me that 239 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:34.399 he was going to make another drink. I knew then 240 00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:39.360 that Charlie and I were fucked. George's truck was finally 241 00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:43.039 not making any noise. It's a lot quieter now. I'm 242 00:13:43.080 --> 00:13:46.320 hearing tree frogs and bugs trying to sing to us. 243 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:50.080 It's one of my favorite sounds. They bring some kind 244 00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:52.320 of peace to me that I probably learned at a 245 00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:57.039 young age. I sat there and listened, and I enjoyed it. 246 00:13:57.039 --> 00:13:59.679 It's always a good moment that I enjoy, and I 247 00:13:59.799 --> 00:14:02.639 use have that in my core. Port and what I 248 00:14:02.679 --> 00:14:08.120 wanted before George showed up. Then George starts back up, 249 00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:12.480 talking again about his goddamn wife. I look at Charlie 250 00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:15.519 and he's looking at me, and I'm feeling sorry for 251 00:14:15.639 --> 00:14:18.000 Charlie and this guy. But I've got my own two 252 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:21.799 to worry about. I've got stuff I wouldn't tell him, 253 00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:24.960 stuff like why I ain't got fried deer meat for supper. 254 00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:28.519 It's stuff he don't even want to know about it. 255 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:31.559 It's stuff that makes me angry because I have worse 256 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:35.440 problems in his fucking marriage. I wanted to scream at 257 00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:37.679 him and tell him to fuck off and get away, 258 00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:41.120 but I didn't. I can't, so I listened to him 259 00:14:41.159 --> 00:14:44.440 as he was fussing again. He told me about the 260 00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:46.600 money that he has to spend to buy his daughter 261 00:14:46.679 --> 00:14:50.080 or a car, money that he doesn't have. And he 262 00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:53.440 told me that she's sixteen now that she has to 263 00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:57.360 have one. His wife wants one that's real nice for her, 264 00:14:57.440 --> 00:15:00.759 but George just wants one that runs, one that maybe 265 00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:04.480 has a nice radio. He told me he lost his 266 00:15:04.600 --> 00:15:07.120 job three weeks ago and he doesn't know if she'll 267 00:15:07.159 --> 00:15:11.799 get a car. George started crying again. I started drinking 268 00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:14.759 another beer and wondering if Audrey was gonna wake up. 269 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:20.600 Audrey wasn't gonna wake up, and that's okay. I had 270 00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:23.279 just hoped that she was resting. I hope that she 271 00:15:23.399 --> 00:15:27.320 was not dreaming or waking up and thinking about the baby. Damn, 272 00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:30.039 that was bad. I tried not to think of it much, 273 00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:32.639 but sometimes when I'm out in the carport alone and 274 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:36.440 it's quite I do. But I couldn't because George was 275 00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:40.679 still talking. He wasn't upset at that moment, but telling 276 00:15:40.720 --> 00:15:43.320 me about his step son, who's a really good bowler. 277 00:15:44.279 --> 00:15:46.360 He said he was on a high school team and 278 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:49.600 that he has his own bowling ball, something about maybe 279 00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:52.120 getting a scholarship to college because he can throw a 280 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:57.480 bunch of strikes. He said he doesn't even use rails anymore. Well, 281 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:01.120 I'm listening, but I'm still worried about Audrey. I told 282 00:16:01.159 --> 00:16:03.240 her that I was going to be home early, but 283 00:16:03.320 --> 00:16:06.960 a highway trooper in Meridian stopped me and brought in 284 00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:11.200 the Department of Transportation to check my rig out. I 285 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:13.519 stood on the side of the road for ninety two 286 00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:18.159 minutes for six citations and a lecture from some little 287 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:21.720 weasel right out of camp. I knew I couldn't drive 288 00:16:21.799 --> 00:16:24.399 fast enough to get home when I left Meridian, or 289 00:16:24.440 --> 00:16:27.600 that I should. I didn't need any more trouble with 290 00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:30.159 the law. I didn't like the law, and the law 291 00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:33.720 didn't like me. I knew she'd start drinking and wondering 292 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.639 where I was. I knew Audrey loved me, I didn't 293 00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:41.559 know George would come over. George was still talking and 294 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:45.000 I'm grabbing another beer. That's when I decided I didn't 295 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:49.000 want any dear meat for supper. I had looked down 296 00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:51.159 at my phone and saw that it was still kind 297 00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:53.879 of early in the night, and I knew Audra wasn't 298 00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:56.279 going to get up anytime soon. So I decided that 299 00:16:56.360 --> 00:16:58.840 I was just going to sit in the carport drink 300 00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:01.919 a few more beers with George. As I drank my supper, 301 00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:05.400 he was getting a little bit better about laughing and 302 00:17:05.480 --> 00:17:08.240 listening to a few stories that I told him, instead 303 00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:11.799 of fussing and crying. He would laugh and agree and 304 00:17:11.880 --> 00:17:14.519 carry on, but I could tell with his eyes that 305 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:17.319 he was really wanting to talk more about him and 306 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:22.240 maybe her. He kept quiet, but was drinking faster, and 307 00:17:22.279 --> 00:17:25.079 I started thinking that I needed to drink faster too. 308 00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:28.039 I didn't think that I could catch up to him, 309 00:17:28.039 --> 00:17:32.480 and I couldn't. Well. That's when George started screaming and shouting, 310 00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:34.839 and I got up from my chair and I tried 311 00:17:34.839 --> 00:17:38.160 to calm him down, but it didn't help any He 312 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:41.319 knelt down on the car port on both knees and 313 00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:44.400 looked up to the sky and he started mumbling something 314 00:17:44.599 --> 00:17:48.640 about a duy and that she was leaving him. I 315 00:17:48.680 --> 00:17:51.160 still didn't know what to do, but I listened, and 316 00:17:51.240 --> 00:17:54.119 I sure as hell was wishing Audrey wasn't waking up. 317 00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:58.240 I looked over at Charlie, and the motherfucker was looking 318 00:17:58.279 --> 00:18:00.759 at me, and I wanted to un his leash and 319 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:03.920 let him run. I had thought that maybe he could 320 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:06.920 go one way and I go the other. Maybe we 321 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:09.400 could both get lost in the woods long enough that 322 00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:13.440 George left or looked in the wrong place. So I 323 00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:15.720 grabbed George and I picked him up to his feet, 324 00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:18.680 and he told me that he was sorry, and I 325 00:18:18.759 --> 00:18:21.839 told him that it was okay now. I looked over 326 00:18:21.880 --> 00:18:26.160 at Charlie and he wouldn't look at me. When I 327 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:28.759 woke up this morning, my head was hurting pretty hard. 328 00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:32.200 I had stayed up too late with George and drunk 329 00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:34.759 right up till about the sun was about to come up. 330 00:18:35.640 --> 00:18:38.480 And when George had finally left, I watched the sun 331 00:18:38.559 --> 00:18:42.079 rise a little bit before I walked inside. That was 332 00:18:42.119 --> 00:18:45.119 actually my only time to enjoy my car port, because 333 00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:47.880 I was already feeling guilty helping him climb into his 334 00:18:47.960 --> 00:18:51.799 truck and wondering if he could make it home. Well, 335 00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:54.359 I felt bad, but damn, I was ready for bed. 336 00:18:55.039 --> 00:18:57.359 And I also knew that I wasn't getting into bed 337 00:18:57.440 --> 00:18:59.559 early enough to go to church with Audrey, and I 338 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:03.119 felt bad because of that too. He told me he 339 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:05.759 only lived about a mile down the road at his 340 00:19:05.880 --> 00:19:08.599 deer camp. He said that he was gonna probably live 341 00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:12.759 there forever. Now. As I was laying in bed, I 342 00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:15.920 started feeling guilty for a lot of things, A lot 343 00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:18.039 of things I just couldn't help, but a lot of 344 00:19:18.119 --> 00:19:20.880 things that I could help. So I got up and 345 00:19:20.920 --> 00:19:23.200 got in a shower. I found a pot of coffee 346 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:25.839 kind of warned that Audrey had left, and put it 347 00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:28.359 in a thermos. Now I got in my truck and 348 00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:31.400 I decided to drive to the cemetery while Audrey was 349 00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:35.119 at church. I saw some wildflowers on the side of 350 00:19:35.160 --> 00:19:37.359 the road on my way, and I stopped and picked 351 00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:39.599 them as I grabbed a beer out of my cooler. 352 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:44.079 Sundays were always tough on me when I visited his grave, 353 00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:48.680 but they sure wasn't like Audrey's day. Every day she 354 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:52.519 lived with all the pain. I could get away more 355 00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:56.279 than she could. She couldn't, and she didn't unless she 356 00:19:56.319 --> 00:19:59.359 had some whiskey, and then her pain was gone until 357 00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:02.960 she woke up up. She didn't wake up much. She 358 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:06.799 hasn't been awake since we lost the baby. She was 359 00:20:06.839 --> 00:20:09.880 never at fault, but she thinks she is. It was 360 00:20:09.960 --> 00:20:13.279 just something natural, something that the doctor said was a 361 00:20:13.279 --> 00:20:17.319 big heart for a small baby. She still thinks it's 362 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:22.400 her fault. Audrey ain't gonna wake up. When I make 363 00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:24.839 it back home from the cemetery, I notice how high 364 00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:27.880 the grass is in our yard, and I went inside 365 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:31.680 to check on Audrey. She was in the bathtub, and 366 00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:33.599 I know she'll be in there for a while, and 367 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:35.240 I tell her that I'm going to get on the 368 00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:37.480 lawnmower and cut the grass and fire up the grill 369 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:41.400 later for some steaks for supper. She thanks me, and 370 00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:44.000 she tells me that she will see me after a while. 371 00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:47.680 Her voice through the door is softer than it should be. 372 00:20:48.519 --> 00:20:51.039 I know she's upset with me for not coming home 373 00:20:51.079 --> 00:20:54.559 early enough yesterday and not going to church today. But 374 00:20:54.680 --> 00:20:57.519 I knew if I get the grass cut real quick 375 00:20:57.559 --> 00:20:59.680 and hit the grill, then she would come out to 376 00:20:59.720 --> 00:21:02.720 the car report with some wine. And I like when 377 00:21:02.759 --> 00:21:06.079 she did that. He usually led to some good talks 378 00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:09.359 and laughter and eating some good food and the sex. 379 00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:12.880 After all, that was amazing. Well that's what we used 380 00:21:12.920 --> 00:21:16.759 to do, but we don't anymore, not when Audrey doesn't 381 00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:21.839 wake up. I was getting close to finishing cutting the 382 00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:24.759 yard and I thought it was George's truck pulling up, 383 00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:28.160 and it was. I looked over to my car port 384 00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:32.319 and Audrey's standing there, smiling and waving at me. She 385 00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:34.480 had a glass of wine in her hand, and she 386 00:21:34.519 --> 00:21:39.240 looks pretty. Her shorts are high showing her nice tanned legs, 387 00:21:39.319 --> 00:21:41.920 and her blond hair dangles in front of her blouse. 388 00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:45.480 I looked back over across the yard and George is 389 00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:48.480 walking up over the grass. Now I'm about to finish 390 00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:52.640 shut I ate my lawnmower his way and he stops, 391 00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:54.920 and I got up to George and I shut the 392 00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.240 lawnmower off. He smiled and asked me what I was doing, 393 00:21:59.559 --> 00:22:01.839 and I told him that I was just trying to 394 00:22:01.880 --> 00:22:04.240 finish up some yard work before I hung out with 395 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:08.720 Audre and some steaks. He's standing in the tall grass 396 00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:11.799 and scratching at his knee. His whiskey spills out of 397 00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:15.519 his plastic cup. He has socks up to his knees 398 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:18.799 with flip flops on. He has a plain white T 399 00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:21.960 shirt on, and he's smiling like he was last night. 400 00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:25.720 I got off the lawn morn I walk inside the 401 00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:29.200