1 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 1: This podcast is not a monster story podcast. I'm reading 2 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:17,600 two fictional short stories by published writers. The first story 3 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:23,399 is called George, written by Shane Brown. Shane is the 4 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:29,800 son of Larry Brown, the nationally renowned Southern writer from Oxford, Mississippi, 5 00:00:29,879 --> 00:00:36,799 who had several published books. Shane is he's making it 6 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,600 on his own accord. He's got a publishing deal. I've 7 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,399 met him. He is such a nice man, and I 8 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,719 met his mother and his family and actually bought some 9 00:00:45,799 --> 00:00:48,119 ice cream front. They have a dairy farm down in 10 00:00:48,399 --> 00:00:51,280 close to Oxford. I don't know when his book is 11 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,000 going to come out. He's writing it now. I don't 12 00:00:54,039 --> 00:00:56,479 know if it's a collection of short stories, a novel 13 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,439 or what it is. But when it comes out, i'll 14 00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:02,600 let you know. The second story is called Chasing Rabbits. 15 00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:05,480 The author is Michael Ferris Smith, who you all have 16 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,560 heard me read some stuff from his writing. This particular 17 00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:15,840 short story was his directorial debut in filmmaking. It's become 18 00:01:15,879 --> 00:01:18,079 a film. I'm going to try to find it and 19 00:01:18,159 --> 00:01:20,200 put the link in the description if you want to 20 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,799 watch the It's about a twenty or thirty minute short 21 00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:26,719 film that follows this storyline. Actually I've seen it. I 22 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,560 went to the screening of it. It was entered in 23 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:34,159 a film festival in Oxford, maybe a couple of months ago. 24 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,760 I actually got to meet Michael for about fifteen seconds. 25 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,519 He's real nice guy, great writer. But the second story 26 00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:45,560 is called Chasing Rabbits by Michael Ferris Smith. Before we 27 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,599 go any further, there is profanity in one or both 28 00:01:49,599 --> 00:01:53,680 of these stories. I can't recall. If strong language offends you, 29 00:01:54,159 --> 00:01:57,760 don't listen, and don't leave me a comment about how 30 00:01:57,799 --> 00:02:01,200 disappointed you are in me about me reading these stories. 31 00:02:01,239 --> 00:02:04,640 This is literature. This isn't just pulp type fiction. This 32 00:02:04,719 --> 00:02:07,480 is These writers are good. These guys know how to 33 00:02:07,519 --> 00:02:10,479 tell a story. They're good. And if you're from the 34 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:15,800 South for more, particularly from Mississippi, these stories will sound 35 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,159 like something your neighbor just told you. You will, you 36 00:02:19,199 --> 00:02:22,879 will recognize the culture right away, and I think you'll 37 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,120 enjoy these stories. If you're not from Mississippi or anywhere 38 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,400 in the southern state, I think you should enjoy them. 39 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,080 We have a wonderful culture of just common people down here, 40 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,039 and I love it. And there's plenty of material to 41 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,840 write great stories about. So I'll shut up. I hope 42 00:02:38,879 --> 00:02:42,120 you guys enjoy this podcast. I appreciate you clicking on 43 00:02:42,159 --> 00:02:53,800 the video. All right, here we go George by Shane Brown. 44 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,240 George stopped by the house last night, and he never 45 00:02:58,319 --> 00:03:01,439 did that. Last night. It was the first night, but 46 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,639 I know it won't be the last. I didn't even 47 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,240 really know George, but he acted like I knew him 48 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,719 a lot. I started feeling that as we sat inside 49 00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:14,080 the car port and talked. I was in my chair 50 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,599 beside the mini fridge that I used to keep extra 51 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,360 beer in for buddies to come over. It's always dashed 52 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,360 with an ash tray and a candle. I like my 53 00:03:23,439 --> 00:03:27,439 car port. That's my favorite part of the house I 54 00:03:27,479 --> 00:03:30,719 think George liked it a lot too. It seemed like 55 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,400 he felt some type of connection to me last night 56 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:36,120 when I sat there and listen to him talk and 57 00:03:36,159 --> 00:03:40,639 sometimes cry, and all I said was, yeah, I understand, 58 00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:44,400 and it'll be all right. George was a little drunk. 59 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,719 George is a pretty good guy. My beer was cold 60 00:03:48,759 --> 00:03:51,800 and I was a little thirsty. After driving fourteen hours 61 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,759 hauling a load of steel down to Gulf Shores, Alabama, 62 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,080 my truck just got parked when George pulled up. I 63 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,879 didn't even know George's truck until he got out and 64 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,439 walked over with a drink and a plastic cup. I 65 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,360 said hey to George, and George said hey back to me. 66 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,280 I was putting down my blockers behind the tires and 67 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,680 ready to crawl inside of my car port. He started 68 00:04:15,719 --> 00:04:19,680 talking like we were old friends. He started telling me 69 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,519 things that I knew that I didn't really want to know, 70 00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,319 and I got to wondering who he was and where 71 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:29,560 he came from. I started second guessing my mind and 72 00:04:29,759 --> 00:04:33,639 started thinking that maybe I really didn't know George. But 73 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,160 I was more worried about how cold my beer was 74 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,240 and about the other ones in the cooler. I was 75 00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:41,720 ready to relax from my long ride and have my 76 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,199 own time in the carport and have a few coal 77 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,879 ones alone. But I didn't get to be alone. George 78 00:04:47,879 --> 00:04:50,639 had followed me into the car port and sat down. 79 00:04:52,319 --> 00:04:55,399 I found out that George's wife didn't love him anymore. 80 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,560 She had told him that she had told him that 81 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,319 they needed to be better, that she needed to be 82 00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:04,680 held and told how beautiful she was, and that he 83 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,319 needed to love her more. She also told him that 84 00:05:08,399 --> 00:05:11,120 he needed to quit hunting. And fishing and hanging out 85 00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:14,480 with all of his fucking friends. She even said that 86 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,360 she was tired of cooking supper for him and him 87 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,079 not eating it because he didn't like her food. Then 88 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,199 he didn't even wash the damn dishes, that that was 89 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,839 his job. He thought that was bullshit. He liked her food. 90 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,839 He was just a little drunk at night, not hungry, 91 00:05:31,879 --> 00:05:36,240 and then he forgot about the dishes. Sometimes George only 92 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,480 forgot about the dishes because he had gotten drunk, because 93 00:05:39,519 --> 00:05:43,000 he had wanted to get drunk. It only happened every 94 00:05:43,079 --> 00:05:46,279 once in a while, but now it happened a lot. 95 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,680 It usually had only happened when she was fussing at him, 96 00:05:50,319 --> 00:05:53,160 and recently it happened again when he went to see Bobby. 97 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,600 He had gone out fishing one afternoon with his little cousin, Bobby. 98 00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:01,519 George told me that Bobby could real good and that 99 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,680 he always liked him going with him. They fixed and 100 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,360 poured each other drinks and helped each other take fish 101 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,560 off the fishing poles that they had dragged off their boat, 102 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:15,160 and patrol the waters. They talked about different things, about 103 00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:17,839 how nice the water was and that the sky looked 104 00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:21,439 pretty and then they told some funny stories about times 105 00:06:21,439 --> 00:06:24,199 when they were kids, and then Bobby would have to 106 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:29,399 hear about George's stories too, after George got drunk, and 107 00:06:29,439 --> 00:06:32,959 Bobby would sit there and say, yeah, I understand, and 108 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,720 it'll be all right too. But Bobby knew more than 109 00:06:36,759 --> 00:06:39,879 I knew. And then Bobby told George some stuff that 110 00:06:39,959 --> 00:06:43,560 afternoon that he thought George knew, stuff that made George 111 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,839 cry some more. George told me that Bobby told him 112 00:06:47,879 --> 00:06:50,519 that he thought that his wife might be cheating on him, 113 00:06:51,199 --> 00:06:54,600 but Bobby wasn't for sure. I had only had one 114 00:06:54,639 --> 00:06:57,160 beer in me by this point, and that wasn't enough 115 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,120 for what I was fixing to have to listen to 116 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,639 already wanted another beer, just to try to catch up 117 00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:05,639 to my day and to maybe feel even sawyer for 118 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,480 this son of a bitch than I already did, and 119 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,160 for maybe being a little annoyed as I wasn't able 120 00:07:11,199 --> 00:07:15,199 to go inside yet and be with Audrey. Now. Bobby 121 00:07:15,279 --> 00:07:17,199 wasn't for sure, but he was kind of for sure 122 00:07:17,639 --> 00:07:19,839 because there was a truck that had come over to 123 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:24,079 George's house when George was gone. Bobby had only noticed 124 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,920 it the last couple of weeks when George had been gone. 125 00:07:27,639 --> 00:07:30,199 It was a red truck, and then Bobby said it 126 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,879 was late at night, he'd only seen it on his 127 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,199 ride home when he passed George's house, and that he 128 00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:38,839 knew George wasn't at home because he was at the 129 00:07:38,879 --> 00:07:42,879 deer camp. George said he started getting mad and screaming 130 00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:47,040 and cussing. He said that he started throwing things, and 131 00:07:47,079 --> 00:07:49,519 that even through his fishing pole in the water that 132 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,720 his wife had bought him for Christmas when they had 133 00:07:51,759 --> 00:07:55,160 first started dating. He said he yelled at the fishing 134 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,920 pole as it sank in the water to drown bitch. 135 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,600 And then Bobby told George that maybe he didn't need 136 00:08:01,639 --> 00:08:04,160 to fix him another drink and that they should get home, 137 00:08:05,439 --> 00:08:08,199 but George said, fuck that and the fish, and that 138 00:08:08,319 --> 00:08:11,639 he'd be all right. George didn't want to go home, 139 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:16,439 and then Bobby fixed George another drink. I didn't know 140 00:08:16,439 --> 00:08:18,600 what to do but sit there and drink my beer 141 00:08:18,639 --> 00:08:22,639 and listen. That's what I did. George was mine now. 142 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,480 And then he cried and he started saying some more 143 00:08:25,519 --> 00:08:28,000 stuff about her and him, and about how she didn't 144 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,160 love him, and about how he loved her so much. 145 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,440 He took a few drinks and then kind of smiled 146 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,879 at me. He had quit crying and then asked me 147 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,240 if I cared if Charlie got out of the truck. 148 00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:44,200 I asked him who Charlie was, but he smiled bigger 149 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,600 and pointed to his truck and said that his dog 150 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,440 was in the truck. He looked back at me and 151 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,840 said that that was his wife's dog too. I said 152 00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:55,360 hell now that I didn't care, and ask him why 153 00:08:55,399 --> 00:08:59,080 he had Charlie locked up for this long. George laughed. 154 00:08:59,399 --> 00:09:03,080 I hadn't seen George's life all night. He went to 155 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,679 go get Charlie and I went to get another beer. 156 00:09:07,159 --> 00:09:09,480 After I got a beer, I turned to walk inside, 157 00:09:09,519 --> 00:09:12,799 but turned back around and grabbed another one. I was 158 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,279 going to go inside real quick and check to see 159 00:09:15,279 --> 00:09:18,039 what Audrey had us for supper, and to tell her 160 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,559 that I was coming inside for good soon when George left, 161 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,159 and to see if she wanted a beer. She usually 162 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,000 drank wine, and usually all of it if it was 163 00:09:28,039 --> 00:09:30,399 in the house, so she probably didn't want any of 164 00:09:30,399 --> 00:09:33,840 my cheap beer like I like to drink. I came 165 00:09:33,879 --> 00:09:37,080 in the kitchen first, and supper hadn't even been cooked. 166 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,759 But it was laid out over the counter ready to fry. 167 00:09:40,759 --> 00:09:42,720 It looked like she was getting ready to make us 168 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,600 some deer meat. She knew that deer meat was MY 169 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,600 favorite and that I liked eating in a lot. I 170 00:09:48,639 --> 00:09:51,399 came through the living room and one single lamp was 171 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,240 on in the corner of the room, and the TV 172 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,120 was on but muted. She wasn't in the living room, 173 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,480 so I kept down the hallway to our bedroom. I 174 00:10:00,519 --> 00:10:02,840 looked in there and she was propped up on the 175 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:05,440 bed with an empty glass laying in her lap, and 176 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,240 her head was pointed down, and the cigarette was hanging 177 00:10:09,279 --> 00:10:11,840 out of her lips, and she was in a deep sleep. 178 00:10:13,039 --> 00:10:15,360 The cigarette had gone out, and I took it from 179 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,720 her mouth and put it in my pocket. I grabbed 180 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,240 her glasses and sat it on the night stand beside 181 00:10:21,279 --> 00:10:23,840 our bed, and pulled her and her pillows down and 182 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,360 lowered her on the bed. But she moaned softly a 183 00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:31,440 little bit and mumbled something I didn't understand, and I 184 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,720 tucked her in the bed, and I kissed her forehead, 185 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,399 and I cut the light out. I knew then I'd 186 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,960 be cooking supper. As I slowly lingered down the hallway 187 00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:44,360 and on my way back to the car port, I'd 188 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,360 been getting used to that. I started to make my 189 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,600 way back outside, and I glanced through my kitchen window 190 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:54,519 and I see George just standing in the carport beside 191 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:57,440 the chair that I gave him to sit in. But 192 00:10:57,519 --> 00:10:59,960 he's holding Charlie like a mama would hold her new 193 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,480 born baby. A leash angles from the dog's neck, and 194 00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:08,399 George is dancing. He's shaking his hips and he kind 195 00:11:08,399 --> 00:11:10,480 of does half of a spin with his hips and 196 00:11:10,519 --> 00:11:13,879 his legs as he's looking down at Charlie and smiling 197 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,720 and saying something to him. I turned up my beer 198 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,679 and I finished it, and I threw it in the 199 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,679 trash can and opened the one I had for Audrey. 200 00:11:23,919 --> 00:11:26,480 I turned it up and finished it too, and I 201 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,840 started thinking that I already knew what was going to 202 00:11:28,919 --> 00:11:33,360 be for supper. I walked outside and grabbed another beer, 203 00:11:33,879 --> 00:11:36,960 and I smiled at George, and he's really smiling big 204 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,200 at me. I could tell George was a little drunk 205 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,159 and feeling pretty good. He asked me if I'd like 206 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,919 to hold Charlie, and I told him I would later on, 207 00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:50,159 and then I sat down in my chair. George walked 208 00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:52,559 over next to me and leaned on the brick wall. 209 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,279 He was smiling and holding and loving on Charlie and 210 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,919 telling him that he was his best friend and that 211 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,240 he didn't know what he was ever do without him 212 00:12:01,399 --> 00:12:05,039 or where he would be. Charlie looks scared to me, 213 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,240 like he was saying for me to save him, but 214 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,240 I didn't know how to save him, and Charlie didn't 215 00:12:11,279 --> 00:12:14,960 know how to save me. George laughed and smiled and 216 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,320 then walked over to the chair I had gotten for him, 217 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:22,679 and he sat down again. George's plastic cup was back full, 218 00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:25,600 and I asked him what he was drinking. He told 219 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,919 me it was four roses with half a bit of 220 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,639 Diight coke. He sipped it after I asked, and then 221 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,000 he turned the rest of it up and he finished it. 222 00:12:34,759 --> 00:12:36,840 He put Charlie on the floor of the car port 223 00:12:36,919 --> 00:12:40,120 and started tangling his leash up in some twisted way 224 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:42,720 around one of the arms of the chair, and I 225 00:12:42,799 --> 00:12:46,960 started to worry about Charlie. I'm thinking that it's maybe 226 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,600 a knot that he has tied. Charlie just stared as 227 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:55,799 I did. Hell, Charlie didn't care. I didn't either. George 228 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,399 doesn't even know if he cares. George's truck is still running. 229 00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:02,840 Heastel engine has been loud on our talk since he 230 00:13:02,919 --> 00:13:06,879 pulled up to my carport. I say something about the 231 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:10,240 truck running well. He laughs and tells me he's sorry 232 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,000 that it's been on and ask if he needed to 233 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,879 cut it off. I told him I didn't care. He 234 00:13:16,919 --> 00:13:19,440 said he had been keeping the truck crank for Charlie 235 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,440 to stay warm while he's been talking, and he didn't 236 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,639 want Charlie bothering anybody, and he had forgotten to cut 237 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:29,360 it off. When he got Charlie out, George got up 238 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,639 to crank the truck off and to tell me that 239 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,399 he was going to make another drink. I knew then 240 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:39,360 that Charlie and I were fucked. George's truck was finally 241 00:13:39,399 --> 00:13:43,039 not making any noise. It's a lot quieter now. I'm 242 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,320 hearing tree frogs and bugs trying to sing to us. 243 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,080 It's one of my favorite sounds. They bring some kind 244 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,320 of peace to me that I probably learned at a 245 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:57,039 young age. I sat there and listened, and I enjoyed it. 246 00:13:57,039 --> 00:13:59,679 It's always a good moment that I enjoy, and I 247 00:13:59,799 --> 00:14:02,639 use have that in my core. Port and what I 248 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:08,120 wanted before George showed up. Then George starts back up, 249 00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:12,480 talking again about his goddamn wife. I look at Charlie 250 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,519 and he's looking at me, and I'm feeling sorry for 251 00:14:15,639 --> 00:14:18,000 Charlie and this guy. But I've got my own two 252 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,799 to worry about. I've got stuff I wouldn't tell him, 253 00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:24,960 stuff like why I ain't got fried deer meat for supper. 254 00:14:25,679 --> 00:14:28,519 It's stuff he don't even want to know about it. 255 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,559 It's stuff that makes me angry because I have worse 256 00:14:31,679 --> 00:14:35,440 problems in his fucking marriage. I wanted to scream at 257 00:14:35,519 --> 00:14:37,679 him and tell him to fuck off and get away, 258 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:41,120 but I didn't. I can't, so I listened to him 259 00:14:41,159 --> 00:14:44,440 as he was fussing again. He told me about the 260 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,600 money that he has to spend to buy his daughter 261 00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:50,080 or a car, money that he doesn't have. And he 262 00:14:50,159 --> 00:14:53,440 told me that she's sixteen now that she has to 263 00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:57,360 have one. His wife wants one that's real nice for her, 264 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,759 but George just wants one that runs, one that maybe 265 00:15:00,759 --> 00:15:04,480 has a nice radio. He told me he lost his 266 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,120 job three weeks ago and he doesn't know if she'll 267 00:15:07,159 --> 00:15:11,799 get a car. George started crying again. I started drinking 268 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,759 another beer and wondering if Audrey was gonna wake up. 269 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:20,600 Audrey wasn't gonna wake up, and that's okay. I had 270 00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:23,279 just hoped that she was resting. I hope that she 271 00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:27,320 was not dreaming or waking up and thinking about the baby. Damn, 272 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,039 that was bad. I tried not to think of it much, 273 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,639 but sometimes when I'm out in the carport alone and 274 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,440 it's quite I do. But I couldn't because George was 275 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,679 still talking. He wasn't upset at that moment, but telling 276 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,320 me about his step son, who's a really good bowler. 277 00:15:44,279 --> 00:15:46,360 He said he was on a high school team and 278 00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:49,600 that he has his own bowling ball, something about maybe 279 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,120 getting a scholarship to college because he can throw a 280 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:57,480 bunch of strikes. He said he doesn't even use rails anymore. Well, 281 00:15:57,519 --> 00:16:01,120 I'm listening, but I'm still worried about Audrey. I told 282 00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:03,240 her that I was going to be home early, but 283 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,960 a highway trooper in Meridian stopped me and brought in 284 00:16:07,039 --> 00:16:11,200 the Department of Transportation to check my rig out. I 285 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,519 stood on the side of the road for ninety two 286 00:16:13,679 --> 00:16:18,159 minutes for six citations and a lecture from some little 287 00:16:18,159 --> 00:16:21,720 weasel right out of camp. I knew I couldn't drive 288 00:16:21,799 --> 00:16:24,399 fast enough to get home when I left Meridian, or 289 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,600 that I should. I didn't need any more trouble with 290 00:16:27,679 --> 00:16:30,159 the law. I didn't like the law, and the law 291 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,720 didn't like me. I knew she'd start drinking and wondering 292 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:37,639 where I was. I knew Audrey loved me, I didn't 293 00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:41,559 know George would come over. George was still talking and 294 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,000 I'm grabbing another beer. That's when I decided I didn't 295 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:49,000 want any dear meat for supper. I had looked down 296 00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:51,159 at my phone and saw that it was still kind 297 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,879 of early in the night, and I knew Audra wasn't 298 00:16:53,919 --> 00:16:56,279 going to get up anytime soon. So I decided that 299 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,840 I was just going to sit in the carport drink 300 00:16:58,879 --> 00:17:01,919 a few more beers with George. As I drank my supper, 301 00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:05,400 he was getting a little bit better about laughing and 302 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,240 listening to a few stories that I told him, instead 303 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,799 of fussing and crying. He would laugh and agree and 304 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,519 carry on, but I could tell with his eyes that 305 00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:17,319 he was really wanting to talk more about him and 306 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:22,240 maybe her. He kept quiet, but was drinking faster, and 307 00:17:22,279 --> 00:17:25,079 I started thinking that I needed to drink faster too. 308 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,039 I didn't think that I could catch up to him, 309 00:17:28,039 --> 00:17:32,480 and I couldn't. Well. That's when George started screaming and shouting, 310 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,839 and I got up from my chair and I tried 311 00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:38,160 to calm him down, but it didn't help any He 312 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,319 knelt down on the car port on both knees and 313 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,400 looked up to the sky and he started mumbling something 314 00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:48,640 about a duy and that she was leaving him. I 315 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,160 still didn't know what to do, but I listened, and 316 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,119 I sure as hell was wishing Audrey wasn't waking up. 317 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,240 I looked over at Charlie, and the motherfucker was looking 318 00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:00,759 at me, and I wanted to un his leash and 319 00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:03,920 let him run. I had thought that maybe he could 320 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,920 go one way and I go the other. Maybe we 321 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,400 could both get lost in the woods long enough that 322 00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:13,440 George left or looked in the wrong place. So I 323 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,720 grabbed George and I picked him up to his feet, 324 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:18,680 and he told me that he was sorry, and I 325 00:18:18,759 --> 00:18:21,839 told him that it was okay now. I looked over 326 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:26,160 at Charlie and he wouldn't look at me. When I 327 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,759 woke up this morning, my head was hurting pretty hard. 328 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,200 I had stayed up too late with George and drunk 329 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:34,759 right up till about the sun was about to come up. 330 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,480 And when George had finally left, I watched the sun 331 00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:42,079 rise a little bit before I walked inside. That was 332 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,119 actually my only time to enjoy my car port, because 333 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,880 I was already feeling guilty helping him climb into his 334 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,799 truck and wondering if he could make it home. Well, 335 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,359 I felt bad, but damn, I was ready for bed. 336 00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:57,359 And I also knew that I wasn't getting into bed 337 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,559 early enough to go to church with Audrey, and I 338 00:18:59,559 --> 00:19:03,119 felt bad because of that too. He told me he 339 00:19:03,279 --> 00:19:05,759 only lived about a mile down the road at his 340 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,599 deer camp. He said that he was gonna probably live 341 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,759 there forever. Now. As I was laying in bed, I 342 00:19:12,799 --> 00:19:15,920 started feeling guilty for a lot of things, A lot 343 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,039 of things I just couldn't help, but a lot of 344 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,880 things that I could help. So I got up and 345 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,200 got in a shower. I found a pot of coffee 346 00:19:23,279 --> 00:19:25,839 kind of warned that Audrey had left, and put it 347 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,359 in a thermos. Now I got in my truck and 348 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,400 I decided to drive to the cemetery while Audrey was 349 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:35,119 at church. I saw some wildflowers on the side of 350 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,359 the road on my way, and I stopped and picked 351 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,599 them as I grabbed a beer out of my cooler. 352 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,079 Sundays were always tough on me when I visited his grave, 353 00:19:44,799 --> 00:19:48,680 but they sure wasn't like Audrey's day. Every day she 354 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:52,519 lived with all the pain. I could get away more 355 00:19:52,599 --> 00:19:56,279 than she could. She couldn't, and she didn't unless she 356 00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:59,359 had some whiskey, and then her pain was gone until 357 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,960 she woke up up. She didn't wake up much. She 358 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,799 hasn't been awake since we lost the baby. She was 359 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,880 never at fault, but she thinks she is. It was 360 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,279 just something natural, something that the doctor said was a 361 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:17,319 big heart for a small baby. She still thinks it's 362 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:22,400 her fault. Audrey ain't gonna wake up. When I make 363 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,839 it back home from the cemetery, I notice how high 364 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,880 the grass is in our yard, and I went inside 365 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,680 to check on Audrey. She was in the bathtub, and 366 00:20:31,759 --> 00:20:33,599 I know she'll be in there for a while, and 367 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,240 I tell her that I'm going to get on the 368 00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:37,480 lawnmower and cut the grass and fire up the grill 369 00:20:37,559 --> 00:20:41,400 later for some steaks for supper. She thanks me, and 370 00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:44,000 she tells me that she will see me after a while. 371 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,680 Her voice through the door is softer than it should be. 372 00:20:48,519 --> 00:20:51,039 I know she's upset with me for not coming home 373 00:20:51,079 --> 00:20:54,559 early enough yesterday and not going to church today. But 374 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,519 I knew if I get the grass cut real quick 375 00:20:57,559 --> 00:20:59,680 and hit the grill, then she would come out to 376 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,720 the car report with some wine. And I like when 377 00:21:02,759 --> 00:21:06,079 she did that. He usually led to some good talks 378 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,359 and laughter and eating some good food and the sex. 379 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,880 After all, that was amazing. Well that's what we used 380 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,759 to do, but we don't anymore, not when Audrey doesn't 381 00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:21,839 wake up. I was getting close to finishing cutting the 382 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,759 yard and I thought it was George's truck pulling up, 383 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,160 and it was. I looked over to my car port 384 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:32,319 and Audrey's standing there, smiling and waving at me. She 385 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,480 had a glass of wine in her hand, and she 386 00:21:34,519 --> 00:21:39,240 looks pretty. Her shorts are high showing her nice tanned legs, 387 00:21:39,319 --> 00:21:41,920 and her blond hair dangles in front of her blouse. 388 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,480 I looked back over across the yard and George is 389 00:21:45,519 --> 00:21:48,480 walking up over the grass. Now I'm about to finish 390 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,640 shut I ate my lawnmower his way and he stops, 391 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,920 and I got up to George and I shut the 392 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:59,240 lawnmower off. He smiled and asked me what I was doing, 393 00:21:59,559 --> 00:22:01,839 and I told him that I was just trying to 394 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,240 finish up some yard work before I hung out with 395 00:22:04,319 --> 00:22:08,720 Audre and some steaks. He's standing in the tall grass 396 00:22:08,759 --> 00:22:11,799 and scratching at his knee. His whiskey spills out of 397 00:22:11,839 --> 00:22:15,519 his plastic cup. He has socks up to his knees 398 00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:18,799 with flip flops on. He has a plain white T 399 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,960 shirt on, and he's smiling like he was last night. 400 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,720 I got off the lawn morn I walk inside the 401 00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:29,200 carport to grab a beer. George following me into the 402 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,599 car port and sat down, and I saw Charlie sitting 403 00:22:32,599 --> 00:22:35,839 on the dashboard of George's truck, scratching at the windshield. 404 00:22:36,759 --> 00:22:39,319 I knew what I'd be eating for supper, and I 405 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:50,880 knew then, too, that Charlie and I were fucked. Chasing 406 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:56,599 Rabbits by Michael Ferris Smith. Rachel crawls out from under 407 00:22:56,599 --> 00:22:59,079 the bed. She takes a rope from the hook on 408 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,319 the closet door. She had awakened in the middle of 409 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,599 the night and heard the voices outside the house, then 410 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,599 heard the back door forced open and she slipped out 411 00:23:08,599 --> 00:23:12,319 of bed onto the floor, stirring under like an insect. 412 00:23:13,039 --> 00:23:16,000 She listened as they ransacked the kitchen and living room, 413 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:21,039 their movements loud and uninhibited, as they believed they were alone. 414 00:23:21,079 --> 00:23:23,720 After half an hour, they left, but she hadn't moved, 415 00:23:24,079 --> 00:23:27,559 lying motionless, afraid to blink. Her nose inches from the 416 00:23:27,599 --> 00:23:32,839 box spring. She eventually unclinched her jaw and relaxed. Then 417 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,960 she slept her body straight and still, as if in 418 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,559 a coffin. Now she moves toward the bedroom door in 419 00:23:39,599 --> 00:23:42,400 the gray morning light, wary of what she'll see on 420 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,480 the other side. In the kitchen, the drawers are out 421 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,599 and emptied onto the tall floor. The cabinet doors are 422 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,400 ripped off the hinges, The kitchen table and chairs are overturned, 423 00:23:54,519 --> 00:23:58,359 the refrigerator doors opened and its few contents splattered onto 424 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:03,880 the wreckage and salad, dressing and leftover spaghetti. In the 425 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,279 living room, a knife has ripped the cushions of the 426 00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:09,599 sofa and the recliner, and small chunks of foam littered 427 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:14,359 the room like dirty snow. Picture frames and lamps are broken, 428 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:18,000 and the television in VCR gone, and on the walls 429 00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:21,519 of both rooms. She finds creations in black spray paint, 430 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:27,160 four letter words, and cartoonish private parts. Rachel tiptoes carefully 431 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,000 through the fragments of broken glass to the telephone on 432 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:34,079 the kitchen wall, somehow still on the hook. She dials 433 00:24:34,079 --> 00:24:37,559 the sheriff's office and asks for her brother Stephen. Gone 434 00:24:37,599 --> 00:24:40,599 to early, ain't it? He answers, I need you to 435 00:24:40,599 --> 00:24:44,519 come out here. Somebody broke in and trash the place. Jeez, 436 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,839 not again. That's a third one this month? How bad? 437 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:53,920 Is it? Pretty bad? And you I'm all right? They 438 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,400 say goodbye, and Rachel picks up the kitchen chair and 439 00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,400 sits down. It'll take fifteen minutes for Stephen to arrive. 440 00:25:00,759 --> 00:25:03,200 The Sheriff's department on the other side of the county, 441 00:25:03,279 --> 00:25:08,240 with many bins and many narrow roads between them. Outside, 442 00:25:08,279 --> 00:25:11,440 the sun creeps higher, and the gray light becomes yellow, 443 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,920 and the light growing through the kitchen window above the 444 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:18,160 sink and shining on Rachel's bare leg. It's warm, and 445 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,799 she opens her robe and slides her other leg into 446 00:25:20,839 --> 00:25:24,160 the light. And she sits still and closes her eyes, 447 00:25:24,599 --> 00:25:29,279 can almost feel the sunshine penetrating her skin. She keeps 448 00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:33,359 your eyes closed and imagines this warmth finding her somewhere else, 449 00:25:34,039 --> 00:25:37,799 a hotel, pool, a long walk, and her mind wanders 450 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:42,720 until Stephen pulls into the driveway. Where were you? Stephen asks? 451 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:44,920 He stands in the middle of the mess with his 452 00:25:45,039 --> 00:25:48,039 hands on his hips. He shakes his head and bites 453 00:25:48,039 --> 00:25:52,279 his lip. Little punks. Rachel stands in the living room, 454 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:56,279 leaning against the paneled wall. I hadn't been here long. 455 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,839 I worked late last night. Let me guess Dale was 456 00:25:59,839 --> 00:26:03,559 a here? She shakes her head. How long has he 457 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,559 been gone this time? Day or two? I see the 458 00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:10,720 car's not here, so he got it. Mary picked me 459 00:26:10,799 --> 00:26:15,000 up for work. That ain't the point. Stephen kneels and 460 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,200 looks more closely at the covered floor. He picks up 461 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:22,000 a coupone that drips with Italian dressing. Then he stands 462 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,240 and walks to the back door and examines where the 463 00:26:24,279 --> 00:26:27,960 dead bolt splintered the frame. How many did it sound like, 464 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:33,400 he asks? At least three? I think any ideas? I 465 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,359 figure it's some board high school kids. They don't usually 466 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,960 take anything, just do it for the hell of doing it. 467 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,920 If your car would have been here, they'd have probably 468 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,759 kept going. They took the TV in the VCR. Stephen 469 00:26:46,799 --> 00:26:49,759 takes a notepad from his shirt pocket makes some notes. 470 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,960 Wearing steakers. Now with a robe, she walks across the 471 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,559 living room, past Steven and out the back door. He 472 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,960 follows her. She sits down on the blue chest under 473 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,960 the car port and asks for a cigarette. They smoke together, 474 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,920 Stephen with his back to her, looking out across the 475 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:12,599 overgrown acreage surrounding the small brick house. No one lives 476 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,119 within sight, and he's relieved they didn't know she was there, 477 00:27:16,519 --> 00:27:20,079 that she stayed put and didn't play hero. From here, 478 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,880 you could scream and scream, but it would be the 479 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,960 same as a whimper. He flicks a cigarette into the yard, 480 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,400 and then he turns and says, I'll give you the 481 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,119 money to get up there, Rachel. Just pack up and go. 482 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,119 Mama's told you a hundred times you could stay with 483 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:39,799 her for a while. I know. Then go this afternoon, 484 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,680 take the bus. When Dale gets back, I'll come out 485 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,640 here and take the car from him. Me and the 486 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,880 kids will clean up. I'll think about it. My god, Rachel, 487 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:54,000 he says, don't mind God me, Stephen, I said, I 488 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,880 think about it. Let me have another cigarette mine or 489 00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,720 lost in there He gives her another and takes one 490 00:28:00,759 --> 00:28:05,200 for himself. The morning is cool and clear and quiet. 491 00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:08,480 They had grown up with mornings like these. Their mothers 492 00:28:08,559 --> 00:28:11,279 helped them make sandwiches, and they walked across the damp 493 00:28:11,319 --> 00:28:15,039 fields to the woods and down to the stream. Stephen 494 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,559 took a hatchet. They built forts and later skipped rocks 495 00:28:18,559 --> 00:28:21,319 as they waited for the day to warm up. Then 496 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,480 they stepped into the spring fed water, waiting downstream to 497 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,640 where their feet came out from under them, and they 498 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,319 dove for the bottom, grabbed a clump of mud, and 499 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,240 hurried up with it dripping between their fingers, to prove 500 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,680 they'd made it all the way down. Now the fields 501 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,319 are overgrown, and on Sunday afternoon, Rachel had gone into 502 00:28:40,359 --> 00:28:42,519 the woods and looked for the path to the stream, 503 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,400 but it was also gone, and so was their mother, 504 00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:49,039 living with a man neither of them have ever seen, 505 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:53,359 somewhere in Ohio. What's Dale up to this time? Stephen 506 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:58,359 asks Rachel, shrugs the road falling from her shoulder. She 507 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,039 gives it a tug and says, he's been talking with 508 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,559 this guy over at Hattiesburg about buying and selling buffalo. 509 00:29:05,079 --> 00:29:09,559 It's supposed to be the new Hamburger A buffalo farm. Huh? 510 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,920 Will this be like the Lama farm he had out 511 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:16,440 here in the backyard. At least he's trying, trying, is working, 512 00:29:16,759 --> 00:29:20,480 not running all over the place digging for goal. Rachel 513 00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:23,880 stands from the cooler size and doesn't know what to 514 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,759 say about Dale, or about the mess inside, or about 515 00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:32,920 anything I need to clean up, She says, Instead, I 516 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,720 got off at Ford me and the boys will come 517 00:29:34,759 --> 00:29:39,359 out and help. You. Got to work today tonight. She 518 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,559 moves to go inside, and Steven says, think we shed 519 00:29:42,559 --> 00:29:45,920 call mom and let her know. Rachel runs her hand 520 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:51,000 across her forehead and then answers flatly no. She goes in, 521 00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:54,240 and Stephen walks to his car, looks back at the house, 522 00:29:54,519 --> 00:29:57,119 and then the radio calls out a wreck on the highway, 523 00:29:57,359 --> 00:30:01,000 and he drives away. The windows are down and the 524 00:30:01,079 --> 00:30:04,200 music is up, and the beer sits between Dale's legs 525 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:08,319 as he drives a long highway ninety eight. Pattiesburg has 526 00:30:08,359 --> 00:30:10,920 been what he expected, and both the cooler and the 527 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:15,160 gas tanker full a buffalo farm is on its way 528 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,000 to southeast Mississippi. He met the man with the money 529 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:22,799 who had friends down from Birmingham with more money. They 530 00:30:22,799 --> 00:30:25,599 piled into a pickup truck and drove into the Forest 531 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,319 County countryside and saw the acreage. Met with the men 532 00:30:29,359 --> 00:30:32,200 who attend the herd, walked around with their hands on 533 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,240 their hips. Dale couldn't afford what they were asking, but 534 00:30:36,319 --> 00:30:39,400 he talked like he could. So the men with the 535 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,039 money bought his dinner and drinks, and later he danced 536 00:30:43,039 --> 00:30:46,079 with the red head and then a brew Net shook 537 00:30:46,119 --> 00:30:49,440 hands firmly, almost believe he was the big shot he 538 00:30:49,519 --> 00:30:53,240 pretended to be. When they left the last bar at 539 00:30:53,279 --> 00:30:56,119 two in the morning, he lifted the twenty dollars bill 540 00:30:56,279 --> 00:30:58,880 that was left for the tip, and that gave him 541 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:03,079 money for gas beer for the ride home. He slept 542 00:31:03,079 --> 00:31:05,160 in the back seat of the small nie sign at 543 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,920 the city park and awakened with a terrible catch in 544 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:12,039 his neck. With cigarettes and tacos and a clear highway later, 545 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,119 the day seems to open its arms, and going home 546 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,440 empty handed. As an afterthought, he finishes a beer and 547 00:31:19,519 --> 00:31:22,960 tosses the can out of the window. The starfoam cooler 548 00:31:23,039 --> 00:31:26,240 sits on the passenger seat. He takes another from it. 549 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,119 He looks around at the inside of the car and 550 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,400 thinks he might stop, give it a vacuum, maybe even 551 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:36,759 wash it, give Rachel something to smile about. Along the 552 00:31:36,799 --> 00:31:40,240 side of the highway, old men sell watermelons and peanuts 553 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,359 and sweet potatoes out the back of their trucks. He 554 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,440 waves to them as he passes, wonders what kind of 555 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,640 money they make, wonders if any of them need a partner. 556 00:31:50,519 --> 00:31:53,359 He hasn't held a job since the textile plant laid 557 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:57,119 them off. But Dale, unlike the others who set small 558 00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,880 fires and tosses rocks through windows on their life, Dale work, 559 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:05,200 wasn't upset by it. He figured the Severn's pay was 560 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,920 good enough and would give him time to think, to 561 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,559 figure out how to work less and make more. All 562 00:32:11,559 --> 00:32:14,319 he needed was a catchy phrase on a T shirt 563 00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:18,519 or a gadget that no housewife could live without. He'd 564 00:32:18,519 --> 00:32:21,720 been thinking now for almost three years, and the best 565 00:32:21,759 --> 00:32:24,160 he'd done was a booth each year at the county 566 00:32:24,279 --> 00:32:28,200 fair selling giant pandas, which he didn't like because he 567 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,279 didn't make enough to hire someone to do the actual work. 568 00:32:32,279 --> 00:32:35,079 He was smart enough to know Rachel never complained as 569 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,200 much as she wanted. They live in her mother's house, 570 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:43,039 square and small and free. The Nissan is Rachel's, passed 571 00:32:43,079 --> 00:32:46,759 down from Stephen. Dale keeps the grass mode and the 572 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,599 dishes washed her uncle bush hogs of twenty acres twice 573 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,680 a year. Every once in a while he cooks dinner, 574 00:32:54,039 --> 00:32:56,039 and if she wants more out of him, she hadn't 575 00:32:56,119 --> 00:32:58,880 said it, or at least she hasn't said it loud enough. 576 00:33:00,319 --> 00:33:02,680 He anticipates the day when he can tell her to 577 00:33:02,759 --> 00:33:05,279 quit her a waitress job at the truck stop, and 578 00:33:05,319 --> 00:33:07,759 that we're moving up in the world. How about a 579 00:33:07,799 --> 00:33:11,960 week in in Gulf Shores. To celebrate, he tosses another 580 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:16,839 empty can out the window. The men from Birmingham said 581 00:33:16,839 --> 00:33:19,359 he needed twenty thousand dollars to get a piece of 582 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,200 the herd. Said he could turn around and make twice 583 00:33:22,279 --> 00:33:25,039 that once the buffalo matured and went on the market, 584 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,559 and then you were set turn it over and turn 585 00:33:28,599 --> 00:33:31,480 it over and watch the money grow. You have to 586 00:33:31,519 --> 00:33:35,079 spend money to make money, they told him. Heck, everybody 587 00:33:35,119 --> 00:33:39,279 knows that, Dale said, and laughed big. But they might 588 00:33:39,319 --> 00:33:42,160 as well have asked for millions. As the twenty bucks 589 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:46,720 Dale swiped at the bar. Was it anywhere? A few 590 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,440 miles down the road, he passes another old man with 591 00:33:49,559 --> 00:33:52,480 another pickup truck, and in the back of it sit 592 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,720 giant Winnie the poos. Dale slows to get a closer 593 00:33:56,759 --> 00:33:59,720 look at the huge yellow heads is bigger, bigger than 594 00:33:59,759 --> 00:34:03,720 his white face pandas the old man waves and Dale 595 00:34:03,759 --> 00:34:06,640 shakes his finger at him and then yells out the window, 596 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,159 don't even think about bringing your tail to the fair. 597 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,199 Rachel rests on the shredded sofa, still in her robe, 598 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:18,360 her forehead moist with sweat. See salvage little from the 599 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,800 kitchen floor and emptied what was left in the refrigerator 600 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,559 into a garbage bag. The cabinet doors were ruined and 601 00:34:25,599 --> 00:34:27,719 they lay in a pile by the side of the road. 602 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,320 The tile floor was mopped and the living room vacuumed. 603 00:34:32,159 --> 00:34:34,960 She tried to scrub a three foot middle finger off 604 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,000 the kitchen wall, but the black paint only smeared and 605 00:34:38,079 --> 00:34:41,239 formed a circle of gray clouds hollow in the center. 606 00:34:42,519 --> 00:34:45,119 She will need paint for the kitchen, and she doesn't 607 00:34:45,159 --> 00:34:47,599 know what for the wood panels of the living room. 608 00:34:48,079 --> 00:34:52,159 There won't be money to replace an entire wall. She's 609 00:34:52,199 --> 00:34:55,239 happy the television is gone, and she wonders what Dale 610 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:59,159 will do now. The place still stinks, so she gets 611 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,760 up and opens windows. It smells like urine, but she 612 00:35:03,079 --> 00:35:06,320 checked the carpet for damp spots and found nothing. She 613 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,599 hopes Dale will show up before she has to go 614 00:35:08,639 --> 00:35:10,880 to work and help move the furniture out to the road. 615 00:35:12,159 --> 00:35:14,639 She found her cigarettes and she lights one as she 616 00:35:14,679 --> 00:35:17,800 gazes out of the kitchen window. The grass high and 617 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,800 healthier cross the fields through the summer has been dry. 618 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:24,480 She leans on the counter, wonders where the smell is 619 00:35:24,519 --> 00:35:28,719 coming from. She envies the people who did this, the young, 620 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:32,360 careless voices that scared her underneath the bed while they 621 00:35:32,559 --> 00:35:36,679 raised with careless intentions. She tried to remember what it 622 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,320 was like to not give a damn. She wanted to 623 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,920 not give a damn right now. Like Dale. She knew 624 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,679 that he would walk in the door, shrug his shoulders 625 00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,079 and say it ain't so bad, Say why don't we 626 00:35:49,119 --> 00:35:51,559 cook out tonight, Say we need to go to the 627 00:35:51,599 --> 00:35:54,800 pawn shop and get another TV, and she'd go along 628 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,880 with it. She figures it'll be weeks before the four 629 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,800 letter words are painted over, weeks before the smell disappear, 630 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,719 weeks before she gives up on him doing anything to 631 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:09,800 help those little pricks. She imagines them sleeping late, comfortable 632 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,840 in the black and white dreams of apathy. Dale hasn't 633 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,559 always been this way, and she can't think of anything 634 00:36:16,599 --> 00:36:19,440 from before they were married that warned he was a 635 00:36:19,519 --> 00:36:23,920 rabbit chaser. The year's worth of severeigns pay they spent 636 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,239 in a few months, taking weekends in Memphis and Jackson 637 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:31,000 and drinking without asking prices and dancing until the lights 638 00:36:31,039 --> 00:36:34,239 came on. Then, seeing the end of the road, she 639 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,199 began picking up double shifts at the truck stop again. 640 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,719 But instead of looking for work, Dale started talking schemes, 641 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,079 quick fixes, early retirement talk that she listened to and 642 00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:50,079 smiled at and figured it would wear off. It began 643 00:36:50,199 --> 00:36:54,039 with Dale sitting up all hours of the night watching infomercials, 644 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,679 making notes, writing descriptions of typical people with typical needs 645 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,400 that weren't being met to the fullest with their typical 646 00:37:01,559 --> 00:37:06,599 household products. He would draw sketches of new inventions, rough 647 00:37:07,079 --> 00:37:10,800 childlike sketches that were often as simple as triangles on 648 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:15,280 top of squares or circles inside of triangles, sketches only 649 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,559 Dale could understand. Then he began naming the sketches red 650 00:37:19,679 --> 00:37:25,119 light radar detector, solar powered can opener, chandles, shoes that 651 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:29,800 transform into sandals, into easy steps, movie in a box. 652 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,199 He'd stand in the kitchen for hours, staring at the appliances, 653 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:38,159 going through the motions of cooking dinner for six imagining 654 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:43,280 cleaning corners that had never been cleaned. He bought stamps 655 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,480 and envelopes and wrote elaborate letters to invention companies. They 656 00:37:47,519 --> 00:37:52,079 didn't answer. He called the eight hundred numbers from the infomercials, 657 00:37:52,119 --> 00:37:54,599 hoping to speak to the man in charge, but the 658 00:37:54,679 --> 00:37:59,880 operator only processed orders. He asked Rachel about her domestic needs. 659 00:38:00,039 --> 00:38:02,639 It's about how her feet felt after ten hours of 660 00:38:02,679 --> 00:38:06,440 filling coffee cups and bussing tables. She was too tired 661 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,920 to help, so he turned his attention outside the house. 662 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,599 They had twenty acres, plenty of space to turn, plenty 663 00:38:13,639 --> 00:38:17,599 of profit. He fenced off three acres and bought lamas, 664 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,480 though he never understood what he was supposed to do 665 00:38:20,559 --> 00:38:24,159 with them. The lamas bade all hours of the night 666 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,760 and ate without ceasing. Several of them hopped the fence 667 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,400 and were found as far as ten miles away. He 668 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,119 finally gave away the few that had an escape to 669 00:38:34,199 --> 00:38:38,800 a petting zoo in Hammon, Louisiana. To cheer him up 670 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,320 after the Lama fiasco, Rachel took him to the county fair. 671 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,519 They rode the ferris wheel and ate cotton candy and 672 00:38:45,559 --> 00:38:49,440 threw darts of balloons. But Aldale could say during the 673 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,599 evening was why couldn't I been the guy who thought 674 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,639 up fares. The next year, he set up a giant 675 00:38:56,679 --> 00:39:00,639 panda booth, and he discovered people loved giant pandas. But 676 00:39:00,679 --> 00:39:02,719 the fare is only a month out of the year, 677 00:39:03,119 --> 00:39:09,280 which returned him quickly to nowhere. Buffalo Buffalo, Rachel says 678 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:13,599 and laughs. She doesn't understand why Dale needs the big score. 679 00:39:14,199 --> 00:39:16,559 He never says what he might do if he hits. 680 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,880 She figures they will live right where they live, know 681 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:23,679 the people they already know, Maybe eat better, build a pool, 682 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,719 drive faster. Steven has been after her for the last 683 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,320 year to leave him and sell the house, go to 684 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:34,039 Ohio and stay with mom, do your own thinking, get 685 00:39:34,079 --> 00:39:37,199 away from the sorry piece of you know what. But 686 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,440 she doesn't want to think or leave, and something inside 687 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,639 her can't help. But smile when a new idea pops 688 00:39:43,679 --> 00:39:47,679 into Dale's head. Like a child entertained by a burning match, 689 00:39:49,159 --> 00:39:51,880 she drops her cigarette into the sink and walks into 690 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,360 the bedroom, kicks off her sneakers and drops her robe. 691 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,480 She looks into the closet and doesn't like anything. And 692 00:39:59,519 --> 00:40:02,880 she looks around the room and doesn't like anything. Her 693 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,760 naked body looks back at her in the mirror. It 694 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,760 doesn't like anything either. She puts a rode back on, 695 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,519 and from the night stand drawer she takes out the 696 00:40:12,559 --> 00:40:16,400 house insurance policy, two credit cards she keeps hidden from 697 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:20,519 Dale in a small photo album. She picks her purse 698 00:40:20,599 --> 00:40:22,719 up from the floor, and then she walks back into 699 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,800 the kitchen and lights another cigarette. She stands in the house. 700 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,599 She is known as a child, as a teenager, as 701 00:40:29,639 --> 00:40:32,840 an adult, but she's like a ghost in a ghost town, 702 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,639 and it surprises her how easy it is to walk 703 00:40:36,679 --> 00:40:40,159 over to the shredded sofa and drop a lit cigarette. 704 00:40:41,199 --> 00:40:43,760 Rachel sits on the ground by the road, leaning against 705 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,639 the mailbox post. She watches the fire through the windows 706 00:40:47,679 --> 00:40:50,400 as it spreads from the sofa to the carpet and 707 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,800 begins to crawl up the walls. Of the living room. 708 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:57,400 Smoke seeps from underneath the closed windows in a slow exhale. 709 00:40:58,039 --> 00:41:00,559 It isn't long before the flames spread to the other 710 00:41:00,639 --> 00:41:04,119 rooms of the house, the kitchen to her left, the bedroom, 711 00:41:04,159 --> 00:41:08,559 and the bathroom to her right. More smoke drifts out up, 712 00:41:08,639 --> 00:41:12,159 and she watches it trail away into the clear morning sky. 713 00:41:13,519 --> 00:41:16,440 She stretches her legs out, unties the robe and lets 714 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,840 it fall open. She hopes the road will remain quiet, 715 00:41:20,079 --> 00:41:22,639 that the distant neighbors are all at work, so that 716 00:41:22,679 --> 00:41:26,159 she can watch it burn to the ground. In a 717 00:41:26,199 --> 00:41:28,840 few minutes, the roof of the living room caves in 718 00:41:29,119 --> 00:41:31,760 and a gust of black smoke shoots up through the 719 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:36,119 burning hole. That'll do it, she thinks, somebody will see that. No, 720 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:40,119 it isn't trash burning. The flames grow, and a breeze 721 00:41:40,159 --> 00:41:42,920 brings us warmth to her bare skin, and she closes 722 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,280 her eyes again and imagines lying next to a hotel pool, 723 00:41:47,159 --> 00:41:51,199 kids flapping in the shallow end. Mother's reading tan stranger 724 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,199 asking if she wants a beer from his cooler. She 725 00:41:55,199 --> 00:41:58,320 here's a car coming, and she closes the robe and stands. 726 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,559 She sticks her purse and the mailbox and then prepares 727 00:42:01,599 --> 00:42:05,360 herself to appear frantic, but there is no need, as 728 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,960 the car is her own. Dale making his way home, 729 00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,360 he stops next to the road and hurries out of 730 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,000 the car and over to Rachelne says, are you all right? 731 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,440 She nods, what happened? Have you called the fire department? 732 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:24,199 It's okay, Dale, I'd to go on, nattiesburd He looks 733 00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,119 at the house and then back at her, and he 734 00:42:26,159 --> 00:42:29,840 grabs her firmly by the shoulders. Honey, you're in shock. 735 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:34,559 Sit down. She brushes him off and says, I'm not 736 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:39,760 in shock. Dale, I lit the thing myself. He sits down, 737 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:43,559 his mouth open as he watches the blaze. Chunks of 738 00:42:43,679 --> 00:42:46,039 roof were caving in from side to side, and the 739 00:42:46,079 --> 00:42:50,119 heat makes waves high into the blue sky. She sits 740 00:42:50,119 --> 00:42:53,000 beside him and says it's kind of pretty in a way, 741 00:42:53,079 --> 00:42:57,000 isn't it. Dale looks at her, his mouth still open, 742 00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:01,840 and back at the fire. Says, you always have something 743 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:06,360 to say, some sails, pitch something, describe what you feel 744 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:10,320 in twenty words less, and I'll open my robe. He 745 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,960 hasn't noticed until now that she is in her robe barefooted. 746 00:43:14,599 --> 00:43:18,199 What are you doing? He asks. She grits her teeth, 747 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:22,199 suddenly impatient with him. What are you doing? Huh? Tell 748 00:43:22,199 --> 00:43:25,840 me that, Dale, what are you doing? A large section 749 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,480 of the roof caves, glass shatters, and something pops like 750 00:43:29,519 --> 00:43:33,599 a pistol. The growing heat pushes toward them, and Dale says, 751 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,840 let's move back. But when he tries to stay and 752 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:40,639 she grabs his arm and says, sit down, have you 753 00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:44,400 lost your mind? Sit down and tell me what you're doing. 754 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,920 What happened in Hattiesburg? Tell me and you can get up. 755 00:43:49,199 --> 00:43:53,199 He gives in and leans back on his elbows. Nothing happened, 756 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:57,199 Nothing ever happens. You should know that by now. No buffalo. 757 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,199 Well there's plenty of buffalo, but they want on a 758 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:05,039 twenty grand investment minimum. He sits up in huffs. One 759 00:44:05,119 --> 00:44:09,280 thing's for sure. There ain't no gimmicks. Money makes money, 760 00:44:09,519 --> 00:44:12,880 not some wild eyed nineteen ninety nine gadget thought up 761 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:16,400 in the middle of the night. She takes his hand 762 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,159 and holds it. He keeps his eyes on the ground 763 00:44:19,199 --> 00:44:23,400 in front of him. Unaffected by her softness. She moves 764 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,960 his hand away and feels the heat on her face. 765 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,320 She will call Steven and ask him to keep quiet. 766 00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,480 About the break in. She'll give Dale the money wants, 767 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:36,599 the insurance pays for the house. This, she'll sell the land, 768 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:39,159 and they'll move close to the buffalo so they can 769 00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:42,360 keep an eye on their investment, maybe even help with 770 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,199 the herd wherever. That means they will buy a house 771 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,000 of their own with an alarm system, and she'll get 772 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,599 a job and he'll get a job in case there's 773 00:44:51,639 --> 00:44:54,840 a buffalo plague. This will be part of the deal. 774 00:44:55,519 --> 00:44:58,079 This is her plan, and it comes to her simply 775 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,679 as if someone had handed it to her on a 776 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,360 note card. If nothing else, she thinks it will be 777 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:08,159 something different. She will tell him about it, but not now. 778 00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:11,639 She stands and takes his hand and leads him around 779 00:45:11,639 --> 00:45:14,719 the snapping fire behind the house and into the tall 780 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,239 grass in the shade of a cluster of pine trees. 781 00:45:18,119 --> 00:45:20,599 She takes off her robe and lays it on the ground, 782 00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:23,239 and then she brings him down with her, and the 783 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,239 wind blows smoke across them, and Dale raises his head 784 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,800 and says, I think I hear a siren, And then 785 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,159 she puts her hand over his mouth and tells him 786 00:45:33,159 --> 00:45:35,960 to stop talking.