Speaker 1: This is the seventy seven w ABC Mini cast on
Speaker 1: the Line with us is America's small caffeinated mom of
Speaker 1: Ronda Shrock And Yes, hello, Ronda, how are you? I
Speaker 1: want to we have something to play for you that
Speaker 1: that's prompted all of this. Mister al abdul Sayad.
Speaker 2: What I mean is that hurt people, hurt people, then
Speaker 2: maybe if we're serious about ending the hurt, we should
Speaker 2: stop hurting people.
Speaker 1: So that's right, Randa. Hurt people, hurt people, and if
Speaker 1: we're serious about ending the hurt, we had to stop
Speaker 1: hurting people. The hurt people, that hurt people because people hurt.
Speaker 2: Yes, and you are right. It was exactly that clip
Speaker 2: I think a couple of days ago that prompted this
Speaker 2: whole conversation because as ridiculous as he made it sound,
Speaker 2: there is a lot of truth in it.
Speaker 1: Yes, doesn't sound it didn't sound ridiculous to me, which
Speaker 1: is why I played it. I'm just like, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: this guy is actually he does this with words, and
Speaker 1: we'll go ahead.
Speaker 2: Randa, Well, yes, I thought about it quite a lot
Speaker 2: since you played that. I mean, it is just really true.
Speaker 2: Hurt people do hurt people. I mean that is true,
Speaker 2: for instance, in marriage. Now, Grant and I actually are
Speaker 2: celebrating our thirty ninth anniversary today, and we definitely thank you.
Speaker 2: We definitely have heard each other from our own you know,
Speaker 2: the pain that we brought in, but thankfully we have
Speaker 2: been able to forgive and move on. I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 2: It's true in parenting sometimes we hurt our children from
Speaker 2: our own painful childhood. I mean, you know our story,
Speaker 2: you know our oldest son's story, and that was definitely
Speaker 2: a factor there. But again, thankful for forgiveness. You know,
Speaker 2: he has forgiven us. And it's true in life. If
Speaker 2: you are in the grocery store, you're in line, you're
Speaker 2: driving along, and somebody cuts you off, what is your reaction?
Speaker 2: Sometimes our outsized reactions are indicators to us of where
Speaker 2: we're carrying on resolved issues and unresolved pain. And if
Speaker 2: I keep that in mind and someone behind the counter
Speaker 2: or the grocery store or is rude or just grouchy,
Speaker 2: I have to think perhaps there's something else going on.
Speaker 2: In fact, I heard this nugget one time, and it's
Speaker 2: so instructive. When a reaction is out of proportion to
Speaker 2: the inciting event, then there's something deeper going on. So
Speaker 2: if you want to learn more about yourself, pay attention
Speaker 2: to your reactions, what sets you off, what makes you uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: what makes you unsettled. And if you are a person
Speaker 2: who loves to grow personally, loves to heal, loves to change,
Speaker 2: loves to become better, you will pay attention to what
Speaker 2: is setting you off and you'll find you'll go down
Speaker 2: to the roots, and then you can heal and grow well.
Speaker 2: As I thought about it this week, James, there's another
Speaker 2: way in which this phrase is true. That hurt people.
Speaker 2: Hurt people. When someone you love dearly is hurting themselves
Speaker 2: with their poor choices, with their life destructive and life
Speaker 2: altering purpose choices, it is deeply hurtful and concerning to you. Again,
Speaker 2: I refer to my oldest son and his years long
Speaker 2: journey and slide into drug addiction and homelessness that was
Speaker 2: so very painful to watch. I cannot tell you the
Speaker 2: sleepless nights and the agony, the fear that would sweep
Speaker 2: through us, the anxiety, the depression and despair, and the
Speaker 2: utter helplessness because we had no power to change his choices,
Speaker 2: to control him. And it was a long running battle.
Speaker 2: And I tell you what that was, years and years
Speaker 2: of pain. And it wasn't because we were, you know,
Speaker 2: doing something wrong or making bad choices. The person that
Speaker 2: we loved was suffering, and those choices he was making
Speaker 2: were coming largely from his own inner pain. Well. As
Speaker 2: it so often happens, James, it is nature that teaches
Speaker 2: me important lessons about life. And this very day I
Speaker 2: have a real time example. In my backyard. I have
Speaker 2: large Grecian urns in which I have planted flowers. We
Speaker 2: bought them early this spring while the greenhouses were full,
Speaker 2: but with our bipolar weather it was still too cold,
Speaker 2: so I sheltered. I sheltered all these beautiful little plants indoors.
Speaker 2: I put them inside the plate glass window where they
Speaker 2: could get the sun. I would move them outside, water them,
Speaker 2: let them get the sunshine and fresh air for a bit,
Speaker 2: and then I would put them back in well. One
Speaker 2: of my tiny, one of my little ivy plants, began
Speaker 2: to struggle, and by the time mother Nature had taken
Speaker 2: her meds and calmed back and I could plant, it
Speaker 2: was nearly dead. And I looked around for another one
Speaker 2: like it. I could not find another one. Like it,
Speaker 2: and I just thought, this is practically dead. I'm going
Speaker 2: to plant it anyway, And I began to think of
Speaker 2: it as my little struggler. But I kept watering it.
Speaker 2: I planted that little bitty struggler in Hope, and I
Speaker 2: would water it and just keep an eye on it,
Speaker 2: and it just languished. The other ivy vines were just flourishing,
Speaker 2: trailing clear down almost to the ground, and this poor
Speaker 2: little guy just couldn't couldn't really take root. Well, we
Speaker 2: got back from vacation, and of all things, our sun
Speaker 2: was here taking care of the property. It began to
Speaker 2: turn green. Little by little, it began to green, and
Speaker 2: it began to put out tendrils. It began to It
Speaker 2: finally crested the lip of that beautiful planter and growing sideways,
Speaker 2: and the brown disappeared. I was stunned, and I was thrilled,
Speaker 2: and I thought of my son. I thought of all
Speaker 2: those years where he was my struggler, and all I
Speaker 2: could see was brown and death and destruction and decay.
Speaker 2: But we never gave up on our struggler. We kept
Speaker 2: watering him in faith, through our prayers, we kept we
Speaker 2: would not let Hope die. It would have been so
Speaker 2: easy to just let Hope die, but we loved him
Speaker 2: too much, and that really wasn't a choice. And one day,
Speaker 2: when the time was right, that struggling plant of mind
Speaker 2: began to turn green, began to revive, began to grow,
Speaker 2: and now his roots and his tendrils are going so
Speaker 2: deep and so wide, and we are so grateful. Often
Speaker 2: during that time, when all I could see was that
Speaker 2: despair and that hopelessness, this thought would come to my mind.
Speaker 2: Do not go by what your eyes can see, and
Speaker 2: that is the absence of faith. So if you're a struggler,
Speaker 2: take heart. If there's life, there is still hope for you.
Speaker 2: And if someone you love is struggling, do not give up.
Speaker 2: As long as there is life, there is hope for them.
Speaker 2: God bless all the strugglers and those who love to him.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking about today.
Speaker 1: God, it is so good to hear your voice. Rhonda.
Speaker 1: Love you, love you, love you. Thank you for joining
Speaker 1: us today, Rhonda, and We're not going to give up.
Speaker 1: Thank you. America's small caffeinated Mom, Rhonda Shock