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<v Speaker 1>Still Stooping from mister Punch's dramatic Sequels by Saint John Hankin.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in

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<v Speaker 1>the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please

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<v Speaker 1>visit LibriVox dot org.

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<v Speaker 2>She stoops to conquer.

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<v Speaker 1>Many people must have wondered where the happiness resulted from

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<v Speaker 1>the marriage between Charles Marlowe, whose shyness with ladies, it

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<v Speaker 1>will be remembered, prevented his ever having a word to

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<v Speaker 1>say to any woman above the rank of a barmaid,

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<v Speaker 1>and the vivacious Kate Hardcastle. The following sequel reveals the

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<v Speaker 1>painful truth Dramatis personae Kate recorded by Karen.

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<v Speaker 2>Savage Charles recorded by Peter Yearsley.

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<v Speaker 1>Hardcastle recorded by Sarah O'Connor. The parlor of Charles Marlowe's house.

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<v Speaker 1>He and Kate are sitting on opposite sides of the fire.

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<v Speaker 1>Silence reigns, and Charles fidgets nervously Kate anticipation a remark

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<v Speaker 1>subsequently made by PAULA Tankery six minutes Charles, finding his

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<v Speaker 1>tongue with an effort.

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<v Speaker 3>Er eh, exactly six minutes, Dear, since you made your

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<v Speaker 3>last remark.

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<v Speaker 1>Charles laughing uneasily and blushing.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah ah ha.

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<v Speaker 4>Well what are you going to say next?

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<v Speaker 3>It's really time you made an observation of some kind,

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<v Speaker 3>you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Um uh, I've nothing to say.

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<v Speaker 3>Come make an effort. It's er a fine day, considering

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<v Speaker 3>that it's raining steadily, dear, and has been for the

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<v Speaker 3>past half hour. I hardly think that can be considered

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<v Speaker 3>a fortunate opening.

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<v Speaker 2>Confounded, so it is forgive me here, my dear. I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't know what I was saying.

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<v Speaker 4>You very seldom do dear to me.

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<v Speaker 2>What a fool you must think me?

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<v Speaker 1>Kate touched by his evident sincerity.

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<v Speaker 4>Never mind, it's a shame to laugh at you. But

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<v Speaker 4>you are rather absurd, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>She goes over and kisses him. He accepts the caress

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<v Speaker 1>with gratitude, but blushes painfully.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, my love, but I've always been shy like that.

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<v Speaker 3>It's an idiosyncrasy, not idiosyncrasy, dear, idiocy.

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<v Speaker 4>The words are so much alike.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah, now you're laughing at me.

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<v Speaker 3>Of course I am goose, you see, dear. As long

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<v Speaker 3>as you were a bachelor, it was all very well

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<v Speaker 3>to be bashful. But now that we are married.

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<v Speaker 4>I really think you ought to fight against it.

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<v Speaker 2>Fight against it. I fight against it every hour of

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<v Speaker 2>the day. Every morning, I say to myself, I really

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<v Speaker 2>must get over this ridiculous shyness. I must try and

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<v Speaker 2>show Kate how much I love her.

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<v Speaker 3>You are curiously unsuccessful, Dear.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel that, but it's not for lack of trying.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you suppose, Kate, that anything but the strongest effort

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<v Speaker 2>of will keeps me sitting in this chair at this moment?

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<v Speaker 2>Do I ever, save under compulsion remain in the same

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<v Speaker 2>room with any lady for more than five minutes? Why,

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<v Speaker 2>my dear girl, if I didn't love you to distraction,

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<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't remain here an instant.

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<v Speaker 3>You certainly have a curious method of displaying an ardent attachment.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it's most unfortunate. But I warned you, dear, didn't I?

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<v Speaker 2>I told you all about my absurd bashfulness before we

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<v Speaker 2>became engaged. You knew that the presence of ladies invariably

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<v Speaker 2>reduced me to speechlessness before you accepted me.

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<v Speaker 3>Not invariably, my love. What about your prowess with Missus

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<v Speaker 3>Mantrap and Lady Betty Blackleg that you told me about.

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<v Speaker 1>Charles blushes, crimson.

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<v Speaker 3>Didn't they call you their agreeable rattle at the lady's

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<v Speaker 3>club in town.

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<v Speaker 2>I get on well enough with uh disreputable ladies, but

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<v Speaker 2>you aren't disreputable.

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<v Speaker 4>You are too modest, dear.

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<v Speaker 3>Some of your conquests are quite respectable.

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<v Speaker 4>Didn't I come.

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<v Speaker 3>Upon you in the act of kissing and the housemaid yesterday?

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<v Speaker 3>And no one can pretend that my housemaids aren't disreputable.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah, yes, I'm not shy with housemaids.

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<v Speaker 3>So I noticed I sent Anne away this morning. Hot Anne, Yes,

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<v Speaker 3>and Sarah too.

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<v Speaker 4>I thought I.

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<v Speaker 3>Detected in you are lurking panchamp for Sarah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I liked Sarah.

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<v Speaker 3>So now we haven't a single maid in the house.

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<v Speaker 3>It's really very inconvenient.

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<v Speaker 4>You must get others for you to make eyes at.

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<v Speaker 3>Certainly not. By the way, is there any type of

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<v Speaker 3>female domestic servant whom you do not find irresistibly attractive?

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<v Speaker 3>Dark ones, fair ones, young ones, old ones, tall ones,

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<v Speaker 3>short ones.

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<v Speaker 1>He shakes his head at each question.

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<v Speaker 4>Not one, I'm afraid not. Then I must do the

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<v Speaker 4>housework myself.

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<v Speaker 2>Charming, my dear Kate, how delightful. Put on a cap

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<v Speaker 2>and apron and take a broom in your hand, and

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<v Speaker 2>my bashfulness will vanish at once. I know it will.

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<v Speaker 3>It seems the only course open to us, especially as

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<v Speaker 3>there's no one else to sweep the rooms. But I

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<v Speaker 3>wish you were not so unfortunately constituted.

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<v Speaker 2>So do I. But after all we must accept facts

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<v Speaker 2>and make the best of them. You stooped to conquer?

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<v Speaker 2>You know you must go on stooping, Go and put

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<v Speaker 2>on an apron at once.

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<v Speaker 1>Scene two, Charles's special sitting room, where he is wont

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<v Speaker 1>to hide hishness from visitors. Time a week later, Kate,

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<v Speaker 1>in a print dress, cap and apron, is on her

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<v Speaker 1>knees before the fireplace, cleaning up the hearth. Charles entering

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<v Speaker 1>the room unperceived, stealing up behind her and giving her

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<v Speaker 1>a sounding kiss.

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<v Speaker 2>Still stooping, Kate.

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<v Speaker 1>Charles Charles kissing her again.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh Kate, Kate, what a charming little creature you are,

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<v Speaker 2>and how much I love you?

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<v Speaker 4>But how long will you go on? Loving me?

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<v Speaker 2>Always? Dearest? In a cap and.

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<v Speaker 1>Apron embraces her.

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<v Speaker 3>It's rather hard that I should have to remain a

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<v Speaker 3>housemaid permanently in order to retain my husband's affection.

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<v Speaker 2>It is dear, I see that.

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<v Speaker 3>However, there's nothing to be done, so I may as

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<v Speaker 3>well accustom myself to the idea as soon as possible.

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<v Speaker 1>Takes a broom and begins to sweep the floor.

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<v Speaker 3>You don't think your absurd shyness is likely to diminish

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<v Speaker 3>with time?

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<v Speaker 2>It may, dear, but I think it would be unwise

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<v Speaker 2>to count upon it. No, as far as I can see,

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<v Speaker 2>the only thing to be done is for you to

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<v Speaker 2>continue in your present occupation. You sweep charmingly for the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of your natural life.

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<v Speaker 1>Kate, sweeping industriously.

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<v Speaker 4>What would my father say if he saw me?

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<v Speaker 2>He won't see you. He hasn't been over since we

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<v Speaker 2>were married.

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<v Speaker 1>A ring is heard?

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<v Speaker 4>Who's that?

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<v Speaker 2>What does it matter? No one will be shown in here.

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<v Speaker 2>Jenkins has orders never to bring visitors into my room.

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<v Speaker 3>That's true.

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<v Speaker 1>Returns to her sweeping. Suddenly the door opens and mister

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<v Speaker 1>Hardcastle enters, with elaborate heartiness, thrusting aside Jenkins, who vainly

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<v Speaker 1>tries to keep him out. Zune's man out of the way.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't talk to me about the parlor. Can't I come

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<v Speaker 1>and see my son in law in any room? My

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<v Speaker 1>sjoels Charles mutters, an oath. Kate Dan's clutching her broom convulsively,

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<v Speaker 1>facing her father. How'd you do, son in law? Kate,

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<v Speaker 1>my dear, give me a kiss, Heaven's child. Don't stand

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<v Speaker 1>there cleaning to a broomstick as though you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>fly away with it. Come and kiss your old father.

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<v Speaker 1>Kate drops the broom nervously and kisses him obediently. Charles

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<v Speaker 1>endeavoring by the warmth of his welcome to divert attention

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<v Speaker 1>from his wife.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you do, sir, how do you do?

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<v Speaker 1>Wringing his hand, Hardcastle noticing a small heap of dust

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<v Speaker 1>on the carpet, which has been collected by Kate's exertions. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>what's this? Why I believe you were actually sweeping the room? Kate?

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<v Speaker 3>I am sorry, father, that you should have found me

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<v Speaker 3>so unsuitably employed, unsuitably.

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<v Speaker 1>On the contrary, nothing could be more suitable.

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<v Speaker 3>Come, Papa, don't you begin to be eccentric too.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not aware that there is anything eccentric about me.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, sir, of course not.

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<v Speaker 1>But when I find my daughter laying aside her finery

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<v Speaker 1>and looking after her house, I cannot conceal my satisfaction. Oh, Charles,

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<v Speaker 1>you have improved her greatly. When she lived at home.

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<v Speaker 1>You remember, I had hard enough work to persuade her

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<v Speaker 1>to lay aside fine clothes and wear her housewife's dress

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<v Speaker 1>in the evenings. As for sweeping, I never even ventured

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<v Speaker 1>to suggest it. I should think not. And yet, Kate,

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<v Speaker 1>if you knew how charming you look in a print,

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<v Speaker 1>frock a cap and apron Kate laughing in spite of herself, you.

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<v Speaker 3>Too, Really, Papa, I am ashamed of you. However, you

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<v Speaker 3>seem both of you determined that I should pass the

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<v Speaker 3>remainder of my days as a housemaid. So I suppose

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<v Speaker 3>you must have your way. This is what comes of

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<v Speaker 3>stooping to conquer. Now go away both of you and

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<v Speaker 3>leave me to finish. Sweeping.

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<v Speaker 1>Takes up broom again resolutely we will Kate come, Charles coming, sir,

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<v Speaker 1>darting across to his wife and kissing her darling goose.

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<v Speaker 1>He goes out hurriedly after Hardcastle. The end of still

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<v Speaker 1>stooping