Speaker 1: I'm Ali. I came out after twenty years of marriage
Speaker 1: and I have three kids.
Speaker 2: I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
Speaker 2: out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1: This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles
Speaker 1: and victories that come with it.
Speaker 2: When coming out feels like the end of the world,
Speaker 2: but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 3: This is the Lesbian Chronicles.
Speaker 1: I am waiting to be joined by my co host Melissa.
Speaker 1: We have a lot to chat about today, starting with well,
Speaker 1: what a blast we had at Atlanta. Gross in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: I'm still posting pictures. They're coming in hot. Oh and
Speaker 1: look who just decided to join me four minutes late
Speaker 1: for the pod. It's four minutes late.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm not used to opening alone, but I did it.
Speaker 1: I did it because Melissa and my job. Ali.
Speaker 4: I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1: Melissa and I have an appointment at twelve fifteen, so
Speaker 1: I knew if I didn't get on it, we'd be
Speaker 1: in trouble.
Speaker 4: That's taking initiative. I like it right.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, I have a topic that I want to
Speaker 1: get after today on aging.
Speaker 4: On aging.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, this is another one of those times where
Speaker 2: I don't know what the topic is, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Exactly, she's coming in, Okay, So let me tell you
Speaker 1: kind of what happened. So we have a block party
Speaker 1: in my neighborhood twice a year, and we're planning the
Speaker 1: block party now for April. And the women there are
Speaker 1: asking me like do I want to be single? Like
Speaker 1: do I wish I was in a relationship? Like just
Speaker 1: asking me lots of questions. And my neighborhood's very gay,
Speaker 1: as you know.
Speaker 4: I was going to say, are these straight women? Gay women?
Speaker 1: Gay women? Mostly gay women? Actually it's half gay, half straight.
Speaker 1: Last night, the planning committee is half gay, half straight,
Speaker 1: all women, okay, And they're just like, you know, digging
Speaker 1: in with me, like what do you you know, what's
Speaker 1: your deal? Like, asking lots of questions, and we have
Speaker 1: all ages we have. We run the gamut from you know,
Speaker 1: thirty five to probably fifty eight in the planning committee.
Speaker 1: So they're just asking questions. But anyway, the married couple,
Speaker 1: that's the gay couple that have been married a long
Speaker 1: long time. They're showing me pictures of when they met,
Speaker 1: and I swear to God, Melissa, they looked like twenty
Speaker 1: two year old doe eyed girls. I mean they were
Speaker 1: like baby baby girls. And now they've been together all
Speaker 1: these years. They live across the street from me, they've
Speaker 1: got a daughter, and they're just two married lesbians. They're
Speaker 1: a little bit older than me, not much, but it
Speaker 1: got me thinking about how like do you ever see
Speaker 1: actors that you don't see all the time and then
Speaker 1: you see them again and you're like, fuck, they got
Speaker 1: old like.
Speaker 2: They Actually I thought that the other day. I mean
Speaker 2: Hairston Ford, that's one.
Speaker 1: Great example for ever Hotti Hotty Hotty in.
Speaker 2: The right like back in the Star Wars day and
Speaker 2: even into his gosh, he was probably in his forties
Speaker 2: right doing the Fugitive totally, you know, had that like
Speaker 2: rugged situation going on. And I saw him at an
Speaker 2: award show the other day and I was like, damn,
Speaker 2: he got old, right.
Speaker 1: Well, do you ever worry that? Like I I guess
Speaker 1: I feel like I have. I worry that. It's like I'm,
Speaker 1: you know, just vulnerably I'm getting older, Like I'm over
Speaker 1: fifty now, I'm fifty one. I hate saying it, but
Speaker 1: it's like I do all the things I do, the
Speaker 1: skin stuff, I work out, I go to yoga, I go,
Speaker 1: I run, like I do all the things, but it's
Speaker 1: like you can't stop time, like you're just and the
Speaker 1: weeks are flying by. I think that's the other thing,
Speaker 1: Like with this planning committee, we have two a year.
Speaker 1: We just had the last one and now months have
Speaker 1: blown by and we're doing the other one, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: nothing's really changed, like I'm still here and it's not
Speaker 1: to be depressing. It's more just like the time is
Speaker 1: ticking by. And when I look at these other people,
Speaker 1: I'm like, shit, they got fucking old. And here these
Speaker 1: women are like asking me, like what's your plan, dude,
Speaker 1: Like do you want to meet some Like what are
Speaker 1: do you want to be single? Essentially is what they're
Speaker 1: asking me. And the answer is no, unequivocally no. And
Speaker 1: I guess I feel like it's hitting me more now.
Speaker 2: You're and you're saying from the standpoint of not just
Speaker 2: like physically aging.
Speaker 1: But like time is faring by somebody, yeah, or just
Speaker 1: like that feeling of like wow, I see how like
Speaker 1: in fact they were I don't want to be set
Speaker 1: up by them, Like I was laughing it was kind
Speaker 1: of funny, but they were like basically, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: they were talking about this group of women that are
Speaker 1: our age that are all still single and kind of
Speaker 1: like it's kind of a thing like maybe you just
Speaker 1: want to be single. We have all these friends that
Speaker 1: are single that just don't want to ever be in
Speaker 1: a relationship. But I think that is wonderful, but that's
Speaker 1: not me. And then I start to wonder do they
Speaker 1: really want to be single or are they just like
Speaker 1: now they've accepted that that's their fate. And so I do.
Speaker 2: Wonder that sometimes, like with I've met people, you know,
Speaker 2: in their sixties and they're just like, I'm done. I
Speaker 2: don't want to meet someone at this point right Like
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't expect to.
Speaker 4: And I'm also just fine with it.
Speaker 1: Is it fine with it? Or is it like it's
Speaker 1: like fine with it if you cook my steak wrong,
Speaker 1: but I still wish I had it medium rare.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I wonder too. And I think, honestly,
Speaker 2: I feel like when straight women say that like I'm done,
Speaker 2: I'm good, they really mean it.
Speaker 1: You believe it because you're like, who would want to
Speaker 1: be with a man?
Speaker 4: Would want to be.
Speaker 1: Even my daughter says that she's like, I can do
Speaker 1: it for a minute, but I can't do middle aged
Speaker 1: man like, I know I'll be out, but she's just like,
Speaker 1: I know I'm going to be out.
Speaker 2: So it's like when a straight woman says that, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: solid makes sense.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't want to do it either, But I don't know.
Speaker 2: With I'm like, I would want at least companionship, you know,
Speaker 2: But I think that a lot of.
Speaker 4: The time though too.
Speaker 2: With these women, their cup is filled with so many
Speaker 2: other things, you know, like they do have a good
Speaker 2: community and people behind them, and you can have all
Speaker 2: that hobbies and.
Speaker 1: Like, I think you can have all that, but is
Speaker 1: that the person that's sitting at your bedside when you
Speaker 1: get a terrible diagnosis, when your parent dies? Like, is
Speaker 1: that the intimacy of friendship? Is that enough? And yes?
Speaker 1: For many it is, like I don't I don't disagree
Speaker 1: with that. I guess I just feel like I don't know.
Speaker 1: It sort of hit me. It's like keeps happening, Like
Speaker 1: today my sister was talking to me about tech neck.
Speaker 1: Do you know what tech neck is? No, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: scared exactly. She's like, I'm getting tech neck, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is that. And she's a little older
Speaker 1: than me, but she's like, from staring at my computer,
Speaker 1: you get a line across your neck, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I have a line on my neck. I do too,
Speaker 1: Like I can see it. I know I do, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's technic.
Speaker 4: That's technic from looking down at your computer.
Speaker 1: I guess. But it's like those are That's one of
Speaker 1: a thousand things that are happening as you get older.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is wild to me because turning forty, like
Speaker 2: I've heard between forty.
Speaker 4: To forty five is one of the times that you
Speaker 4: age the most.
Speaker 2: And it does feel like there's certain things where all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, like I've got this like random wrinkle and.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't even see it forming no, you know.
Speaker 1: Or your eyes are more swollen in the morning, yeah
Speaker 1: than they were before. It's like I didn't used to
Speaker 1: wake up like this.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: This was like two years ago at Pride. You know,
Speaker 2: I'd gone out the whole weekend.
Speaker 4: I had had a blast, but then by the time
Speaker 4: Sunday rolled around, I was so tired.
Speaker 2: And then the next day, Monday morning, I woke up
Speaker 2: and my eyes were swollen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like under eyes. So it's never happened to me
Speaker 4: in my existence, right And I was like, welcome to
Speaker 4: forty exactly.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Like it's like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: But I don't. I feel like I'm in the best
Speaker 1: physical shape of my life, Like I'm in my I'm
Speaker 1: working in a way that I love. I love my job,
Speaker 1: my kids are thriving right now. Like everything is hitting.
Speaker 1: So it's not like there's anything bad happening. Everything is hitting,
Speaker 1: but it's just this feeling of like I'm watching and
Speaker 1: then in yoga this morning, these young thirty year old women.
Speaker 1: I heard one of them say, I can't believe I'm thirty,
Speaker 1: and I thought, you can't believe you're fucking thirty. You're
Speaker 1: laying next to me, you have no idea, like I'm
Speaker 1: twenty years older than her in this class, and I
Speaker 1: guess it's just it's just flying by. What's happening.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: I told I was talking to Breckon about this recently.
Speaker 4: My son. I was just like, you know, I can't
Speaker 4: believe that he's eleven going on twelve.
Speaker 2: Over a decade, thirteen going on fourteen. I'm like, where
Speaker 2: did that time go?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 4: You guys were babies yesterday.
Speaker 2: That's it because I'll talk to them about stuff that
Speaker 2: they did as a baby or whatever, and they're like,
Speaker 2: we feel like you're talking about a completely different person.
Speaker 4: You don't know that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, you're like nostalgic. Yeah, but it makes
Speaker 1: me think about, like, as we're doing the pitch, which
Speaker 1: I'm so into. I mean, I'm loving these pitches and
Speaker 1: we have people putting them together right now, but it's
Speaker 1: kind of like that. The feeling I'm getting is the
Speaker 1: risk that someone is willing to take to do the pitch. Like,
Speaker 1: it's not you're talking.
Speaker 4: They're talking about the dating the dating pitch.
Speaker 1: I guess let's talk about that, right, I'm going to say, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So Lesbian Chronicles, we're doing this thing called the pitch,
Speaker 1: and you can pitch your friend, you can pitch yourself,
Speaker 1: you can do any number of things. But you're if
Speaker 1: you're single and you want to meet someone and you're
Speaker 1: ready to meet someone, we want to hear a pitch
Speaker 1: from you, and you can go on our social media
Speaker 1: and see people that have done pitches. We just launched
Speaker 1: it less than a week ago, and so we have
Speaker 1: pitches coming in I have people dming saying I'm about
Speaker 1: to do a pitch or I'm getting waiting for my
Speaker 1: friend to do a pitch, and I can't believe, first
Speaker 1: of all, how friends are nervous to do the pitch
Speaker 1: for you, Like they feel nervous on camera. You don't
Speaker 1: need to. I sat on my front porch. Took me
Speaker 1: fifteen seconds to pitch the person I pitched like, it's
Speaker 1: it's very simple. I also want to say no hard feelings,
Speaker 1: like you may not meet anyone. It's a long game.
Speaker 1: So you might meet someone in three weeks, in six weeks,
Speaker 1: in a month, like you might just make some friends
Speaker 1: that follow you. You're gonna get something out of doing it,
Speaker 1: period hard stop, like something good will come of it.
Speaker 1: Every pitch we've done so far, what have we done?
Speaker 1: Three have had something positive come out? And one of
Speaker 1: the things Aaron said that I thought was so cool.
Speaker 1: She's like, if nothing else, if nothing comes of it
Speaker 1: at all, this was a fun ego boost. And then
Speaker 1: I saw somebody comment on hers. They just were like
Speaker 1: fuck yeah, Like this is an alternative to the dating apps.
Speaker 1: Do a fucking pitch. What are you scared of?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like, what do you have to lose nothing zero.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think people have a hard time selling
Speaker 2: themselves sometimes, you know, like I think that there's people
Speaker 2: out there that can do it, you know, easily, and
Speaker 2: then it's like the other side of the spectrum where
Speaker 2: people are like no, no, no, no, like it's so
Speaker 2: hard for me to talk about myself or like say
Speaker 2: any anything. And also I think it's it's it's hard
Speaker 2: to to be like, well, what do I like, what
Speaker 2: do I like to do? And it and a little
Speaker 2: bit like if they're the kind of person that doesn't
Speaker 2: really like to go out a lot, I feel like
Speaker 2: those kind of people don't want to say that.
Speaker 4: You know, that's me.
Speaker 1: I say it all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but some people are like, oh like that. They
Speaker 2: feel like it's not appealing, but it is appealing.
Speaker 1: It's totally appealing. That reminds me of the thing the
Speaker 1: planning party. One woman said, all my friends are CDC dorks,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, CDC dorks are the fucking rule of
Speaker 1: the world, Like, those are the best people. Who wants
Speaker 1: the person partying every weekend. I sure don't to me.
Speaker 1: You tell me CDC dork or somebody who's super social.
Speaker 1: I will take CDC dork every single time twice on Sunday.
Speaker 1: I will literally I won't it. It's no comparison.
Speaker 4: But it's also like, if you don't sell yourself, then
Speaker 4: who's going to?
Speaker 1: So you get your buddy to sell yourself or don't
Speaker 1: look at it as selling yourself. Look at it as
Speaker 1: saying what you want. So instead of getting on there
Speaker 1: and being like, oh, I'm so great, just get on
Speaker 1: through and be like I'm looking for a CDC dork.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, declare you.
Speaker 4: Are scared of it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And say what you want totally. That's that's the other
Speaker 2: thing too. If you don't say what you want, you're
Speaker 2: not going to.
Speaker 1: Get it totally. And let people just DM you, let
Speaker 1: them follow you, let them. I mean one we did.
Speaker 1: She got a somebody who DMed her, and I looked
Speaker 1: at because I'm very, very invested in this one. It's Rachel,
Speaker 1: So the woman they DMed, and I just looked at
Speaker 1: the person to see like if this could be a match.
Speaker 1: She's a fucking badass, like anybody would be lucky to
Speaker 1: date her. So I'm like that, you know, maybe nothing
Speaker 1: will happen, Maybe they'll be friends, maybe they'll just hang
Speaker 1: out in Seattle and go out to a bar and
Speaker 1: meet other people. But there is nothing bad that could
Speaker 1: come from that, because these are two very cool Seattle
Speaker 1: women that don't know each other yet.
Speaker 2: Well. And that's the other thing too, It's like you
Speaker 2: never know who someone else knows.
Speaker 1: You never know who someone else knows.
Speaker 2: Maybe someone DMS you and you're like, like, I'm not
Speaker 2: feeling it. That doesn't mean you brushed that person off entirely,
Speaker 2: because this could be a good new friend to have
Speaker 2: that lives in your city and they might know someone.
Speaker 4: You might actually know someone that's good for them exactly.
Speaker 1: So I'm a connector too.
Speaker 4: I am too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am too.
Speaker 2: I just had a friend or someone on Instagram reach
Speaker 2: out to me say that they're kind of new to
Speaker 2: the community, and I was like, wholl I know someone
Speaker 2: who lives in your city. Follow them yep, And I
Speaker 2: let that person know, and so yeah, like, if you
Speaker 2: can think of ways to like bridge the gap with
Speaker 2: people and bring people together, like do it.
Speaker 1: If somebody called me and said, hey, Ali, I've got
Speaker 1: a friend that just moved to Atlanta. She wants to
Speaker 1: go to an event that I You're going to be
Speaker 1: there will you meet her. I promise you I am
Speaker 1: showing up and making sure that that person is completely
Speaker 1: taking care of that evening. I remember when Kat joined
Speaker 1: our group and we ended up at a party and
Speaker 1: I waited for her to get there. I waited to
Speaker 1: see her. I made sure she was introduced to everybody
Speaker 1: in the room. I mean, these are common courtesies. It's
Speaker 1: like we could all do this for each other and
Speaker 1: make it so that you're not alone, because the truth is,
Speaker 1: I don't want to show up at something alone either.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: And I think that's one of those things that you know,
Speaker 2: someone mentioned on one of our previous episodes that they
Speaker 2: had learned something about like manners and being at dinner
Speaker 2: and you know, and I think that's just it, Like
Speaker 2: I don't feel like my I was trained properly and
Speaker 2: how to do these like interactions socially like to be
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 4: But it's like I've learned along the way that you know, like.
Speaker 2: If someone comes up in the conversation, you turn towards
Speaker 2: them and you bring them into the conversation. They have
Speaker 2: you met so and so, Yep, It's it's just a courtesy.
Speaker 4: It makes that person feel welcome.
Speaker 2: It also lessens that like fear of coming up to
Speaker 2: other people.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something else that I noticed that
Speaker 1: happened at Lanta Cross where we're standing in a group
Speaker 1: and somebody is there having it. Somebody walks up and
Speaker 1: they start having a conversation and didn't introduce me. So
Speaker 1: I'm standing there. I'm fine because I knew a lot
Speaker 1: of other people there, but I felt like it was
Speaker 1: a misstep. And so even if you don't know the
Speaker 1: person's name or you're scared because you're forgetting someone's name,
Speaker 1: you are better off in that situation to say, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed, I forget your name, tell me again,
Speaker 1: and making the introduction, then standing there having a conversation
Speaker 1: and not introducing the third person.
Speaker 4: Yeah, or you just say hey, this is my friend Ali, Yeah,
Speaker 4: or just.
Speaker 1: Say half of it and let them finish, you, got it.
Speaker 1: That's another way to do it. But what you don't
Speaker 1: do is ignore the problem.
Speaker 2: I mean, hell, I even introduced you to my best
Speaker 2: friend's ex boyfriends from like ten years ago did and
Speaker 2: it just because like you walked up and it's like, hey,
Speaker 2: this guy.
Speaker 4: He's one of your neighbors.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I think that's it's a good mindset to
Speaker 2: have as far as like you know, you're looking to.
Speaker 4: Fill your cup. Yep, fill other people's cup one.
Speaker 1: Thousand percent and it will come back tenfold.
Speaker 2: So if you have if you want to be pitched,
Speaker 2: maybe think about some a friend that could be pitched too,
Speaker 2: and you guys pick each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, or just like I love how one of
Speaker 1: the recent pitches. She's just like, give me a minute
Speaker 1: to think about who would be a good one to
Speaker 1: do for me? And then she said she's like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna work on it. I'll have something tomorrow. And she
Speaker 1: did versus like I don't know, like there's something so
Speaker 1: badass about doing it. Don't be scared, there's nothing only
Speaker 1: good will come of it or nothing nothing will of
Speaker 1: it or good well.
Speaker 2: And it's like my therapist the other day, I was
Speaker 2: talking to her about this audition that I was doing
Speaker 2: and I was nervous about it, and she's like, what's
Speaker 2: the worst case scenario, Like the worst case is that
Speaker 2: I'm not going to get it.
Speaker 4: She's like, what's the best case that I'll get it?
Speaker 4: And she's like, there you go. So now go for it.
Speaker 2: The worst case scenario here, but you don't connect with anybody.
Speaker 4: Okay, you may not.
Speaker 1: You probably won't, that's the reality. But you'll have a
Speaker 1: few people who follow you, you'll follow some new people.
Speaker 1: You're only going to miss the shots you don't take, right.
Speaker 4: So, speaking of the shots, I love them.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, me too.
Speaker 4: Hilarious.
Speaker 1: I know she is hilarious. I thought later, like is
Speaker 1: she single? Like she would be a great one. Somebody
Speaker 1: should pitch. Yeah, so this thing is just getting ramped up.
Speaker 1: Get your shit together and do a freaking pitch.
Speaker 4: And that's just it. It can be funny, it.
Speaker 1: Can be funny. Do yourself to.
Speaker 4: Be Yeah, Sarah did one for herself. She was I
Speaker 4: told her confident.
Speaker 1: First take, fantastic. It was like, no, don't overthink it,
Speaker 1: don't do fifteen iterations, just freaking get on camera and
Speaker 1: start talking. I had read film mine and so he's
Speaker 1: like very impatient. So he was like, get know what
Speaker 1: you're gonna say, because I'm doing this one time. And
Speaker 1: so I literally did it one time and my neighbor
Speaker 1: walks out, she sees me doing it. She's laughing her
Speaker 1: ass off. I don't give a shit? Right?
Speaker 4: Who cares?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So just tiktoks walking down the street exactly came like
Speaker 2: who cares?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 2: Maybe this is one of the Okay, we can full
Speaker 2: circle here with aging. I feel like comes not giving
Speaker 2: a fuck.
Speaker 4: It's true and I love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The other day, you've sent a text to our
Speaker 1: whole group that I thought didn't seem like you to
Speaker 1: do it, And I called you remember, and I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: what that was interesting? I loved it, but I was like,
Speaker 1: that's true. Like you start to get where you're like
Speaker 1: be on board or don't be on board. You know,
Speaker 1: someone in our group told me today, she's like, you
Speaker 1: know who your friends are based on who supports your business?
Speaker 1: Like who wants you to be successful in that? Like,
Speaker 1: if I have an endeavor, say pitch, your friend is
Speaker 1: my Let's say that's my endeavor. I'm working on this
Speaker 1: pitch thing. My friends that love me and want me
Speaker 1: to be successful, we'll get in it and make comments
Speaker 1: and try to help it along or brick and Batton.
Speaker 1: You know when people like help me with that, Like
Speaker 1: I think people who are rooting for you support your shit.
Speaker 4: But you know what that text was about, was our
Speaker 4: new podcast?
Speaker 2: Yes, and you're the only one who hearted the message.
Speaker 1: They're dicks, you guys, you assholes. Yeah, it's like, how
Speaker 1: hard is it just to be like? Of course, now
Speaker 1: quietly they did follow it, like a lot of people
Speaker 1: followed it. But I think, like I shouldn't even have
Speaker 1: to ask you, like I anybody's business. Shit, I'm harting,
Speaker 1: I'm following, I'm commenting, I promise you I am. Look
Speaker 1: around at our friends, I'm in all their shit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: acting like a supporter. Right. So so that's another lesson.
Speaker 1: But I guess back to the topic at hand, which
Speaker 1: is aging, and I think we're all in similar you know,
Speaker 1: most of our listeners, what would you say, are thirty
Speaker 1: to sixty five, seventy Yeah, yeah, so everybody's sort of
Speaker 1: at some point of that process where you're I.
Speaker 2: Think, yeah, it's like each one of those milestones, like
Speaker 2: turning thirty feels like a lot, and now you know,
Speaker 2: turning forty feels like a lot, fifty, sixty, seventy, it's
Speaker 2: like all of those and it's I don't know. I
Speaker 2: think also, as we're aging, we're also watching our parents.
Speaker 1: Oh, such a good point. Family members get older.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, like that to me, it's like staring
Speaker 2: you in the face.
Speaker 1: It is, it's staring you in the face. And then
Speaker 1: every like you said new wrinkle or new you know,
Speaker 1: it's like I work out all the time and I'm
Speaker 1: doing all the things, and I still I put a
Speaker 1: bikini on and I'm like, this is like shameful. My
Speaker 1: kids are like, you have an issue, But I'm like,
Speaker 1: I still don't love love, love my body.
Speaker 2: I think it's fine, and I know in Panama City
Speaker 2: Beach for a few days, but.
Speaker 1: I'm actually like I think about like when I look around,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm in great shade, great, but I still am
Speaker 1: like why if I'm self conscious? Every like everybody must be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But you know he's not as my sister. My sister
Speaker 1: struts around the pool, does not give a shit. She's
Speaker 1: eating whatever she wants. She doesn't care in her bikini,
Speaker 1: jumping off the boat, like does not care. He doesn't
Speaker 1: even think about anything, like I can't eat in my
Speaker 1: bikini like city.
Speaker 4: Eating hypnotize to like think that.
Speaker 1: Exactly, like can you sit in let's say your pool side,
Speaker 1: sitting up on the chase in your two piece eating nachos.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I guess I've done that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't feel great doing that.
Speaker 2: I mean, but again, I guess this is taking place
Speaker 2: in Panama City Beach and okay, you know everybody down
Speaker 2: there doesn't give a shit.
Speaker 4: Everybody's drunk.
Speaker 1: Okay. Well, I'm in a different spot in Florida where
Speaker 1: I guess I feel self. They're a little classy or
Speaker 1: they just don't.
Speaker 4: It's also boring. It's boring off the boat.
Speaker 1: I agree. My sister's like, what are you doing right now?
Speaker 1: Why do you have a cover up on? I'm like,
Speaker 1: because I'm eating, And she's like, and we're all eating, We're.
Speaker 2: All eating, We're all hanging out in our bikinis whatever,
Speaker 2: Like who cares. That's the other part too, is like
Speaker 2: we feel like we can't act like kids anymore, you know.
Speaker 1: Like we did last weekend.
Speaker 4: I know we did.
Speaker 1: We tell you something. The video evidence is continuing to
Speaker 1: come in. I just got chunk today. You don't even
Speaker 1: want to know.
Speaker 2: I didn't even realize there was a shared album until
Speaker 2: about two days later, and then I was like.
Speaker 1: Oh, have you ever have you seen the ones with
Speaker 1: me smoking the cigar? I know, Okay, this needs to
Speaker 1: hedge your way quickly.
Speaker 4: I did. I did witness it in person.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I mean, who's how is that humanly possible?
Speaker 1: I don't know, me Houston dance with somebody. When that
Speaker 1: came on and I watched your guys' faces on the video,
Speaker 1: now it's you guys acted like you won the DJ lottery.
Speaker 1: Everybody was like, going crazy.
Speaker 4: I love that song, of course you do.
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to post that video.
Speaker 4: Oh wait, I have I need to see it.
Speaker 1: You need to see it. Yeah, you need to see it.
Speaker 1: Everybody's in it. It's like, not don't worry.
Speaker 2: That song gets our whole little friend group going on,
Speaker 2: for sure.
Speaker 1: The only one that I think is like funny with
Speaker 1: you that you will not approve of is the gold
Speaker 1: Digger one. I think you probably would be like, please
Speaker 1: don't post that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't remember that one.
Speaker 1: Maybe not. We're in our era. We don't give a fuck,
Speaker 1: remember I know.
Speaker 4: But you know, my back is hurt ever since the second.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. What are other ways that you feel like
Speaker 1: you're aging? Like, where else do you notice it?
Speaker 2: Well, gosh, that's it's tough to say, because I've had
Speaker 2: those help problems with the anemia lately.
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, I thought that's what it was.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 4: I'm like, well this is I'm.
Speaker 1: Just getting old.
Speaker 4: Understand up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like but.
Speaker 2: I would say, you know, my metabolism definitely feel like
Speaker 2: because some of the joint pain in my knees, Okay,
Speaker 2: that's a big reason why I kind of I want
Speaker 2: to run again. But it, yeah, freaks me out, Like
Speaker 2: I just have bad knees. I did in my thirties
Speaker 2: and twenties when I ran too.
Speaker 1: It's interesting, but I don't have joint pain. That's never
Speaker 1: been my issue. Mine is like step sleep issues. I
Speaker 1: don't sleep as well now. I definitely wake up with
Speaker 1: puffy eyes yeah, and wild hair.
Speaker 4: It's tough out in these streaks. Now.
Speaker 2: I'm like now, but again, I don't care, Like I
Speaker 2: don't have on an ounce of makeup right now.
Speaker 4: I don't care.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we're about to have a meeting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, we're about to have a meeting. And
Speaker 4: you look like that.
Speaker 1: No, you look great, I think I don't. I I'm
Speaker 1: with you. But there are like these things that creep
Speaker 1: up and I'm like, wow, if these celebrities are getting older,
Speaker 1: I'm getting older too. Yeah, it's like that.
Speaker 2: It's also I don't know, it's a bit of a
Speaker 2: badge of honor. I think it's just a good way
Speaker 2: to look at it, you know, like we're lucky.
Speaker 4: Yeah, people that die way too young. And and I
Speaker 4: love my life, life experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do feel a sense of like I love
Speaker 1: my life. Yeah, I don't. I always That's why I'm
Speaker 1: so scared of like doing risky things, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I really don't want to die. I don't want to
Speaker 1: I want to live along. I want to live to
Speaker 1: a hundred. I mean, I really do.
Speaker 2: I think we overlooked too, like where we're at as
Speaker 2: far as like how far we've come since being in
Speaker 2: marriages and coming out and like I've been writing this
Speaker 2: book and I'm reflecting back on how I felt during
Speaker 2: that time, interesting, how scared I was, and how I
Speaker 2: was like there's no way I'm ever coming out.
Speaker 4: I know, I know, and now here I am.
Speaker 1: Or what about like back then when we would there'd
Speaker 1: be like days where I'm like, I'm fucking doing it.
Speaker 1: I'm sexcit I need to do this. I'm so hopeful
Speaker 1: of meeting a woman and having being gay. I want
Speaker 1: to be out I'm doing it, and then twenty four
Speaker 1: hours later I would be like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: definitely not doing it.
Speaker 2: I'm not Yeah, there's no w Yeah, the back and forth, yeah,
Speaker 2: the fear, all those things, right, Yeah, like we've done it.
Speaker 1: What would you say about people that talk about like
Speaker 1: arrested development and then we should do a whole episode
Speaker 1: on this. But somebody recently said they think there are
Speaker 1: some trademarks about people like you and I who came
Speaker 1: out late and are now developing late. You're learning a
Speaker 1: lot of lessons late, and kind of what that looks like.
Speaker 1: I think that would be a great topic because in
Speaker 1: this community it's so prevalent mistakes you may feeling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've felt it for years, you know, and it's
Speaker 2: it's I felt it for years, but it's just now
Speaker 2: occurring to me. Yep, that there is that arrested development
Speaker 2: of like not really knowing how to be in a relationship,
Speaker 2: how to overlook all these like little my baggage that
Speaker 2: I'm getting to it, you know, how to get over
Speaker 2: a breakup?
Speaker 4: Right, all those things are new to me, and it's.
Speaker 1: Right and respond to how you respond to things and
Speaker 1: reactions and yeah, yeah, I think the growth is happening. Well,
Speaker 1: we have to move on to another meeting. So this
Speaker 1: was amazing as always, and do your pitch. Also, please
Speaker 1: follow us at b Gay Solve Crime. We're getting great
Speaker 1: feedback on it, which is really exciting. I think we're
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna I think we're going to solve
Speaker 1: it all right, Bye guys, bye.
Speaker 4: I want to support the Lesbian Chronicles podcast.
Speaker 2: Rate us and write a review on Apple podcast or Spotify.
Speaker 1: We love listener feedback. If you'd like to share your story,
Speaker 1: email us at Melissa and Ali at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's Melissa M. E. L I s A A and
Speaker 1: Ali A L l I at gmail dot com. Or
Speaker 1: follow us on Instagram at Lesbian Chronicles