Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, jerk off alone now.
Speaker 2: Always was.
Speaker 3: I just don't have to hide in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: This sink's been going an awful long time. Mind your
Speaker 1: fucking business.
Speaker 4: I can jerk off a load.
Speaker 1: Get peace. You guys ready, it's more fuel efficient. I
Speaker 1: was ready.
Speaker 3: Whenever I'll do it, we'll get thirty seconds. You got?
Speaker 3: Do you think you got thirty seconds in you?
Speaker 4: Always?
Speaker 5: It's a question for you right now?
Speaker 3: What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
Speaker 3: A receding hairline?
Speaker 1: Nice?
Speaker 4: Mm hmm? Check you you with the joke, you with
Speaker 4: the joke.
Speaker 3: I had to explain to my son today that he
Speaker 3: is my past and I am his future. He did
Speaker 3: not understand that I was, like listen, at one point,
Speaker 3: I had a jew fro, I had a big fucking
Speaker 3: head of hair.
Speaker 4: Did he ask you to help him hang himself?
Speaker 3: After hearing that comment? He he doesn't believe it. He
Speaker 3: doesn't understand that it's coming.
Speaker 4: Wait, wait, wait, wait, you pissed and tupperware when you
Speaker 4: were a kid. Let's pretty widen the clock.
Speaker 1: He took your ship and molded it into places, did
Speaker 1: a bowl.
Speaker 3: And then put it and then he put it in
Speaker 3: a fucking little container.
Speaker 4: Do you think this is also another throwback? Do you
Speaker 4: think if cell phone technology is what it is today
Speaker 4: when you were his age, do you think your number
Speaker 4: of special photographs saved to the phone would have been?
Speaker 3: Oh? Absolutely today lazy gets the lengths that I went
Speaker 3: to to check out my dad's Easy Rider magazines.
Speaker 4: Oh fuck yeah, see back and back in our time.
Speaker 4: I don't know yet about Stone like this is right
Speaker 4: around the cusp of big change, but I know at
Speaker 4: least for me speaking which I assume then for you,
Speaker 4: dum is, you would put your dad's vdjess in that
Speaker 4: you found, and you'd have to know exactly the second
Speaker 4: it started, because it was never at the beginning. Ever,
Speaker 4: it was mid scene of Ron Jeremy just thrusting into
Speaker 4: some tan line broad Yeah.
Speaker 3: Absolutely seven minutes.
Speaker 4: So this is episode one, Seve by the way, we
Speaker 4: were in the middle of conversation, so you can just
Speaker 4: hold your horses be like, b word. He's like, what
Speaker 4: episode are we on again? He already knows the answer though.
Speaker 4: But it's Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the
Speaker 4: special moms out there. You know, you know who you are.
Speaker 4: You're not listening to this because you ran away on life.
Speaker 3: But you know, Happy Mother's Day. We love you, We
Speaker 3: love moms especially, so thanks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can't be a milf without a mom. Hyeah,
Speaker 4: dome's currently an ilt.
Speaker 1: I'd like the fu like I'd like the fuck. Yeah,
Speaker 1: somebody get this met A pocket post.
Speaker 3: Is the longest I've ever gone. Dude still doesn't want
Speaker 3: to put the I've ever Gone'm by my period, sorry
Speaker 3: and now and now it's all on me. It's at
Speaker 3: the spiteful stage. I'm like, fuck this, like go fuck
Speaker 3: yourself now. Now I'm just angry. It's like whatever, I've
Speaker 3: never I think I've only ever said no like twice
Speaker 3: in my life.
Speaker 4: That's actually a statement, Like anybody that knows you, there's
Speaker 4: there's a reason why you your life is so chaotic
Speaker 4: sometimes because you never say no.
Speaker 1: Yep, ever it's pretty rough. One of those times you
Speaker 1: said no was to a two pay kind.
Speaker 3: Of said, I will never put on a two pay.
Speaker 3: I have worn wigs before, but it was like in ingest,
Speaker 3: so do you.
Speaker 4: Just have to like super glue of Yamaica? Then like
Speaker 4: do you get to stick?
Speaker 3: You got two options?
Speaker 1: What do they do for people?
Speaker 6: Either take those you can either take those fucking suction
Speaker 6: cups and you stick it to the inside, so you
Speaker 6: know the ones that go on the windows.
Speaker 1: Or you can just take off the bottom.
Speaker 6: You can take you know those titty those titty tags.
Speaker 3: That that girls have, that women have, they cover the nipples. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the sticky Yeah, you just put that on the inside
Speaker 3: pasty and so it sticks to the back of the
Speaker 3: yamaica and then to the back of the head.
Speaker 1: Like the when you said pop top, the immediate thought
Speaker 1: that I had was like one of those kids toys,
Speaker 1: Like yes, like he's sitting like in the synagogue and
Speaker 1: like it pops randomly and hits some lady in the eye.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it hit me writing the eye.
Speaker 4: That's one thousand percent when I've bett the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Babs trying to fucking hear a rabbi over here to
Speaker 1: talk about he's gonna rail everyone's wife tonight.
Speaker 4: Well, how was dumbhou?
Speaker 3: My week was fantastic?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean.
Speaker 3: We he was full of excitement and wonder and uh
Speaker 3: yeah tell us more man, let me tell you.
Speaker 1: I so I speaking of wonder.
Speaker 4: I wonder who our new producer is.
Speaker 3: Gonna tell you? I can't do a worse job, so
Speaker 3: I ended up running to California. I went to San Jose.
Speaker 3: I flew into San Jose, which was like one of
Speaker 3: the smallest airports I've ever been at, but coming out
Speaker 3: of Vegas, I had a three hour flight delay, and
Speaker 3: then I sat in the plane for an additional hour
Speaker 3: and a half. It was such a long fucking Tuesday
Speaker 3: to get from Vegas to San Jose. And I got
Speaker 3: to San Jose and it took me two hours to
Speaker 3: get through traffic to get to the city I was
Speaker 3: trying to go to. But then on Wednesday, I had
Speaker 3: a really cool day where I got to visit this
Speaker 3: new Mercury mine, well new to me. It's been around
Speaker 3: since the seventeen hundreds, and it was really really interesting
Speaker 3: to learn all about how they made the Mercury, some
Speaker 3: of the furnaces that they had, and what they used.
Speaker 3: And I got to play with some new tools, and
Speaker 3: I met a really nice PM for the EPA who
Speaker 3: was by far one of the smartest individuals I've ever
Speaker 3: met in my life. She man, she like, I feel
Speaker 3: stupid on a regular daily basis all by myself. I
Speaker 3: do it to myself all the time. But this woman
Speaker 3: made me feel massively under educated, which yah, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 3: oh absolutely, oh absolutely, I am.
Speaker 1: I am the epitome.
Speaker 3: Listen, Okay, I'm gonna give away a little bit with
Speaker 3: my job. I am the epitome of faked till you
Speaker 3: make it for.
Speaker 4: Those who haven't picked up the pieces episodes.
Speaker 3: I there is a button that switches off in me
Speaker 3: when I get to work, right, like you guys here
Speaker 3: and listen to the fun side of me, the stupid
Speaker 3: side of me. I feel comfortable with you, right, so
Speaker 3: I feel like I am in a safe place and
Speaker 3: you guys see the dumb josh. But when I'm at work,
Speaker 3: I'm very charismatic. I will admit that I do have
Speaker 3: a way about it about carrying myself and the demeanor
Speaker 3: in which I deliver the product that my company wants
Speaker 3: me to deliver, right, and I do know enough to
Speaker 3: get by. But who boy, am I the epitome of fakety?
Speaker 3: You make it?
Speaker 1: Man? Just saying I mean you know what, dude, Like
Speaker 1: everybody in fucking Congress and shit, all those fuckers, that's
Speaker 1: their motto, fagot to you make it. Half of them
Speaker 1: don't even know.
Speaker 4: What they I mean, think about it. Everybody has had
Speaker 4: to fake it to make it because at some point
Speaker 4: you were put in the position you're in and you
Speaker 4: had no clue what the fuck you were doing.
Speaker 3: And I and I do, I do know what I'm doing,
Speaker 3: but not not to the level of some of the
Speaker 3: people that I interact with. Like when I tell you
Speaker 3: that that some of the people that I interact with
Speaker 3: are some of the smartest minds in the United States,
Speaker 3: it's not an over exaggeration, Like they are subject matter
Speaker 3: experts for a reason, and when you're in a room
Speaker 3: with them, some of them make you feel extremely stupid,
Speaker 3: and not not because they're bad people. It's just they're
Speaker 3: just incredibly smart. Like they are. They are the ones
Speaker 3: that runs the lectures. They are the ones that when
Speaker 3: you go to these conferences, like like you you go
Speaker 3: to these conferences, right, and you sometimes speak It is
Speaker 3: the same situation. These are the people that get up
Speaker 3: in front of other in front of groups hundreds of people.
Speaker 3: They're the valedictorians that speak at fucking Harvard. It's it's insane.
Speaker 3: I don't believe. I don't belong. I do not belong
Speaker 3: in the circles in which I run. Sometimes period, you.
Speaker 4: Could speak at like Southampton Institute Technology Community College can get.
Speaker 3: But so work, work was actually really cool.
Speaker 1: Work was fun.
Speaker 3: And then I turned around and came back late Friday,
Speaker 3: Friday afternoon and are Thursday, sorry Thursday. And then Friday
Speaker 3: went to absolute shit. Uh, personal life took a weird
Speaker 3: turn that we're not going to discuss. But we're here.
Speaker 3: You know, belt hasn't wrapped around the neck yet. So
Speaker 3: Saturday dicked around. Sunday went and met up with you guys. Ironically,
Speaker 3: I found a sasquatch sighting, so we went to We
Speaker 3: went to the Mother's Day Arts and Crafts Fair, which
Speaker 3: is a ritual for me and my mom. We've gone
Speaker 3: every year since I was like twelve. And when I
Speaker 3: was there, I spotted Jordan in the wild and I
Speaker 3: took a picture and I kid you not, it looks
Speaker 3: exactly like a sasquatch sighting, Like it's Jordan's sideways.
Speaker 4: Yeah it does.
Speaker 1: It's all blurry. It's not even a good pictures all. Fuck,
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not.
Speaker 4: So don't ever come at me with Android's got a
Speaker 4: better camera ever, Because that picture I took it in
Speaker 4: a rush and I'm trying to give you credit that
Speaker 4: I that you know how to take pictures.
Speaker 1: It was bad.
Speaker 4: When I saw it, I was like, what am I
Speaker 4: looking at?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I took it in a rush, and it was
Speaker 3: it was a pure accident because this camera does take
Speaker 3: great pictures. But it was pure accident, and I just
Speaker 3: I kept it because it was so fantastic. I don't
Speaker 3: think I didn't send it to a I'll send it
Speaker 3: to him now.
Speaker 4: No. It was funny, though. What about you Stone, how
Speaker 4: was your week?
Speaker 1: My week was, uh man, it was like a mac
Speaker 1: truck hit me throughout the week. You know, came in Monday,
Speaker 1: problems came in Tuesday, problems came in Wednesday, problems came
Speaker 1: in Thursday. Problems, right, and so yeah, like it was funny,
Speaker 1: like I did to take this test to go up
Speaker 1: the next possession that I want to be in. I
Speaker 1: felt so confident. So it was just delusion of like
Speaker 1: three hours of sleep I was running off of and
Speaker 1: I missed it by one question and I was raging.
Speaker 1: I was so mad, kind of threw like a little
Speaker 1: hyss and then came in came in the next day
Speaker 1: and I have like a full, like raging eight hours
Speaker 1: of sleep and I was like, you were such a
Speaker 1: little bitch yesterday. But it was so validating that I
Speaker 1: came in and my supervisor was like, hey, so some
Speaker 1: of the feedback that you gave me about that test,
Speaker 1: I went and give it to a manager because I
Speaker 1: agree with you. And I was like, oh was it
Speaker 1: big a little bitch?
Speaker 3: Oh right?
Speaker 1: Thank god. I was coming in here to apologize for
Speaker 1: you my dad, and I felt like I was being
Speaker 1: a fucking dumb ass yesterday. I was. I was on
Speaker 1: three hours of sleep and I was being a whindy
Speaker 1: little bitch. She was like, no, like you shd have
Speaker 1: some good points and I was like, okay, cool, thanks,
Speaker 1: appreciate you. But then I got a message from HR
Speaker 1: and they were like, hey, so that position that you
Speaker 1: want in the finance department. So they're suspending taking applications
Speaker 1: because they didn't have anyone set in an application and
Speaker 1: the resume that they were impressed with. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I was in that pool.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so okay, I have something to say about that,
Speaker 3: all right. I have I have some friends and some
Speaker 3: family who have been looking for jobs for quite some
Speaker 3: time now, and I have this conspiracy theory that companies
Speaker 3: right now are opening up positions with the false ideology
Speaker 3: or false idea that anyone is going to actually get
Speaker 3: the job. So it's just a fri it's a ruse.
Speaker 1: It's fake.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you like there, there's not really an opening fixture. A.
Speaker 3: We can't see it. It's too bright.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've already it. I took it and said it
Speaker 1: to him, but thanks. But yeah, the position's fake, so.
Speaker 7: That the position's fake that these companies are these companies
Speaker 7: have something to benefit from keeping these fake positions open,
Speaker 7: but they do it and there is never, ever, ever
Speaker 7: any intent to fill the position.
Speaker 1: You know, it would actually make a whole lot of
Speaker 1: sense because when you look at the market Salary Range
Speaker 1: report that has generated from my company, and it shows
Speaker 1: you every single position that is within like director right,
Speaker 1: so like director and up is like exempt from it
Speaker 1: because it's fucking the executive status. You're making millions at
Speaker 1: that point. But that position like reinsurance reinsurance specialist, right,
Speaker 1: that position like you start at one ten a year, right,
Speaker 1: and then it like goes to like senior and it's
Speaker 1: like one thirty, and then it goes to consultant. It's
Speaker 1: like one eighty, right, and that's it there's no other
Speaker 1: range for that. That's it. That's its own position. Like
Speaker 1: you don't get to be a soup manager senior, like
Speaker 1: nothing like that is it for that entire position. So
Speaker 1: like it would make sense if that was like a
Speaker 1: position kind of like a mafioso kind of thing, you know,
Speaker 1: where like the mafia guys all had construction jobs and quotations.
Speaker 1: You know, Like what if like the reinsurance job really
Speaker 1: was just going to some duds, like some fucking hit
Speaker 1: man or something, a hit man for insurance companies.
Speaker 3: Like there's some government there's some government agencies and some
Speaker 3: nonprofit organizations that are doing it.
Speaker 1: And they're doing it. I know this for a fact.
Speaker 3: They're doing it because they get certain grants based on
Speaker 3: the amount of times or amount of positions that don't
Speaker 3: get filled. So it's like there's things that cover the
Speaker 3: actual unavailability of employees. So it's like it's like they're
Speaker 3: they're saying that they can't fill the position, so they
Speaker 3: need help essentially, and and and that's sneaky and tricky, but.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. And like when I was looking
Speaker 1: at another insurance company, they had like six hundred positions open,
Speaker 1: and I was like, why on God's green Earth do
Speaker 1: you have that many positions open? Doesn't make sense, But
Speaker 1: that makes a whole lot of sense right there if
Speaker 1: they get grants for having a certain amount of open.
Speaker 3: So, how was your week interesting?
Speaker 4: It was pretty good.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I didn't do a whole lot until this weekend. And
Speaker 4: then I put a new thermostat in the house, which
Speaker 4: that went pretty is one of those.
Speaker 3: Voice activated ones, is like AI where you you could
Speaker 3: attach it to your phone or is it just a basic.
Speaker 4: You can you can use your phone. There is an
Speaker 4: appys it's like one of the smart system ones. It's
Speaker 4: not quite AI, but yeah. And then also in the
Speaker 4: same trip, a new ceiling fan got put in to
Speaker 4: change out my daughters ceiling fan, my oldest daughter, because
Speaker 4: I already had changed out my youngest daughters, and so
Speaker 4: I was like whatever. And actually I would say the
Speaker 4: actual process of the fan was not a big deal
Speaker 4: as a whole. What would have been nice is if
Speaker 4: in the instruction book they said, listen, just go to
Speaker 4: this link right here and watch this video on this
Speaker 4: exact fan, and all your problems will go way. Instead
Speaker 4: you're trying to read this book. And then finally you
Speaker 4: find a piece of paper that you know you've about
Speaker 4: to give up hope, and you know you can't really
Speaker 4: hang yourself because the fans not in place, so you're
Speaker 4: just stuck in a non suicide position, a non chest yourself.
Speaker 4: But they so, if you've ever putten wires together, like
Speaker 4: a ceiling fan or anything, you put these wires together
Speaker 4: and they have a little end cap, right that twists on. Well,
Speaker 4: there's these new ones that look like an Ethernet port
Speaker 4: and that's what these had, right, So this there's a
Speaker 4: little again they plug the pops up and then you
Speaker 4: shove the wire in and then you close it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of like the water resistant.
Speaker 4: Well, it would be also nice if in the instructions
Speaker 4: they said make sure that the little clamp that opens
Speaker 4: is fully extended to ninety degrees, otherwise your wire will
Speaker 4: not stay in. And so but once I saw this video,
Speaker 4: then I was like, oh, this all makes more sense now,
Speaker 4: And it was like a sixteen minute video on this
Speaker 4: exact fan and so fans good, three out of five
Speaker 4: stars for the instructions, but the fans good.
Speaker 1: So that was mine.
Speaker 4: And then today went to that Mother's Day fair and yeah,
Speaker 4: so Mother's Day and we were talking behind the scenes
Speaker 4: before we started recording. Uh Stone's over here flexing on
Speaker 4: the moms today wearing just a dad Was it say,
Speaker 4: just a dad's girl, just a dad and his girl. Yeah,
Speaker 4: just fucking flexing on you females like fucking Rosie o'donald
Speaker 4: with a cock.
Speaker 1: I've been pulling double duty now for the last four years,
Speaker 1: so you know. I remember the first year, somebody was like,
Speaker 1: happy Mother's Day to you, and I was like, why
Speaker 1: are you doing that? And they were like, because you
Speaker 1: do the double duty, you know the mom's out there.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you said duty, I guess I do.
Speaker 1: And so I've just embraced it every year now. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what it ismosas.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it's Goodmoses on Mother's Day.
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, baby, let's go. We also hit the pool
Speaker 1: first day of the pool season. God damn good today.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah it was. It was eighty one, like midday.
Speaker 4: Like it all this Suddens have been really high.
Speaker 1: It all of a sudden hit like ninety five here
Speaker 1: like a week ago, and then I went and checked
Speaker 1: the pool and I was like, holy shit, is it
Speaker 1: really seventy eight?
Speaker 4: Right now.
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, let's a cleaned the bitch out.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, the other day it was like eighty three,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, well I need to add
Speaker 1: some more chemicals to it and clean up some shit,
Speaker 1: and uh, let's fucking get in there. Let's go. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So we opened my pool a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 4: and some shit went down with the cover being on.
Speaker 4: I actually think birds poked holes in it, really, because
Speaker 4: I've never taken that cover off and uncovered a mess
Speaker 4: of nothing but pure algae in the pool. And so
Speaker 4: I have it almost like mint, ready to go. My
Speaker 4: son actually got in this afternoon before dinner to help
Speaker 4: finish vacuuming it out, because it was a bitch of
Speaker 4: a project. Like the first vacuuming and second vacuuming stretches
Speaker 4: you couldn't even see what you were vacuuming because it
Speaker 4: was so murky. And so now, you know, like African
Speaker 4: kids would drink this shit. It looks so good.
Speaker 1: It's got a little bit further to.
Speaker 4: Go in my opinion before.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're already to get in about stuff, you
Speaker 3: know that eighty degrees.
Speaker 4: I just want it to be nice, like I want
Speaker 4: the pool to be like pristine and crystals.
Speaker 1: Your your African kid mentioned actually plays into something that
Speaker 1: wrote down here for you guys. What does a malnutrition
Speaker 1: African child in a commercial and a set of flowers
Speaker 1: have in common?
Speaker 4: They both die after seven days?
Speaker 1: Yeah, they both hold their job for about a week
Speaker 1: and then die off.
Speaker 3: Speaking of children, we have a new game that I
Speaker 3: presented to you guys. Yeah you remember, so this is
Speaker 3: the no Okay, well then me and I didn't know it?
Speaker 3: Well yeah, I mean yeah, okay, did you actually get
Speaker 3: some Okay, let's let's tell. Let's tell the people that
Speaker 3: are the two people that are listening with the with you.
Speaker 3: So I came up with this idea three, I'm listen.
Speaker 3: Came up with this idea anyway where we ask our
Speaker 3: kids to either rename something or describe something for us.
Speaker 1: Uh. And then you guys and I will.
Speaker 3: Have to tell the other two what that description was,
Speaker 3: what the name was, and we have to guess. So
Speaker 3: call this whatever the fuck you want. Who wants to
Speaker 3: go first.
Speaker 4: Go for it, Stone.
Speaker 1: I'll go first, all right, this from my kid. I
Speaker 1: had to do three little descriptive phrases for each of
Speaker 1: these first one. It's long, it's black, and we walk on.
Speaker 3: It Grandma's dildo.
Speaker 1: No, I'll give you. I'll give you another shut long
Speaker 1: it's black, treadmill it's long. Yes, good job, good job.
Speaker 3: All right, I got one. Uh So my son called
Speaker 3: this the pincher. Said, okay, can you describe it? He goes, yeah, pinchy,
Speaker 3: pinchy on bag, a bag clipper, well, chip clip, all right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, one that I asked my son, I said, hey,
Speaker 4: what is this because it is a fun stage where
Speaker 4: I've not taught him shit about tools because I don't
Speaker 4: know shit about tools and I was never taught about
Speaker 4: shit about tools, which is funny because my dad is
Speaker 4: a union carpenter, retired union carpenter. But I asked him
Speaker 4: what this device was, and he said, that's the thing
Speaker 4: you used to help open the pool.
Speaker 1: Any clue what that might be?
Speaker 3: Thing you used to help Soccer wrench the street driver.
Speaker 4: No, Soccer's pretty damn close.
Speaker 1: Is a monkey range monkey ranch? Okay, that was gonna
Speaker 1: be my next guest.
Speaker 3: I went, I thought he was gonna be dumber.
Speaker 4: You know, I will tell you speaking the pool real quick.
Speaker 4: Backtrack on that last year because we weren't doing this podcast,
Speaker 4: so people didn't maybe didn't know about it. But we
Speaker 4: put an above ground pool back in twenty one, right.
Speaker 4: I changed the piping to PVC piping last year, and
Speaker 4: I put in those on and off switches in the
Speaker 4: middle of both sides. Those things have been a insane
Speaker 4: life saver with cleaning and taking care of the pool.
Speaker 4: I mean it makes it. It's like a night and
Speaker 4: day difference. I'm so glad I put those in it.
Speaker 3: All Right stones.
Speaker 4: Anyway, dome stone, whoever wants to go?
Speaker 6: All right?
Speaker 1: Next one, it's square, its colors are red and blue,
Speaker 1: and it's portable. Fuck final actually her her exact words,
Speaker 1: where we can take it with us on the go.
Speaker 4: Toothbrush portable speaker? What was your what was your guest?
Speaker 1: Toothbrush? No, good guess, one more time, one more try, lunchbox.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, square, it's red and blue. I think that's I
Speaker 1: think that's definitely the the best clue right there. Deodorant, No,
Speaker 1: it is a Nintendo switch.
Speaker 8: All right?
Speaker 4: Hold on, did you say he was close with toothbrush?
Speaker 1: No? I said, good guess? Okay, sorry I got confused. Well,
Speaker 1: they're both electric toothbrush is electric.
Speaker 3: I'm still at the one from the fucking dentist visit
Speaker 3: that I had five years ago, like the sixth grade.
Speaker 1: And they show up and say, hey, suck, toothbrush is
Speaker 1: dare written on it? I dare you?
Speaker 4: Your teeth was originally exhaust bristl Bristol's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he has like the two little bristles left.
Speaker 3: All right, it's just the plastic of this. Okay, here
Speaker 3: we go. So this one was for Grayson again too.
Speaker 3: His his his description was fast people helmet big.
Speaker 1: Uh, people who ride motorcycles.
Speaker 4: Not NFL, not even close.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: He had one other description, beat poop.
Speaker 4: That was the name police.
Speaker 3: Yeah, bet poop. No Star Wars. Uh, he's been playing
Speaker 3: a video game lately.
Speaker 1: Mario Ray's a fucking mech. It's a robot mech.
Speaker 3: I was like, all right, sounds good.
Speaker 9: Mh.
Speaker 4: I asked Ellie, I said, what do you think? What
Speaker 4: do you think this is called? And she said, oh,
Speaker 4: those are those are face cutters.
Speaker 1: Like a razor. Yeah, yeah, face I like it. That's cute.
Speaker 1: This one should be really easy, I asked Avery, and
Speaker 1: she said, it's white, it has cookie dough, and it
Speaker 1: tastes really good ice cream. Yes, I go for some
Speaker 1: cookie dough ice cream right now. Mm hmmmmmm.
Speaker 4: I'd go for that root beer float ice cream fer Pi.
Speaker 3: I had the munchies. I was like, I was like
Speaker 3: eight deep in the monkey Land.
Speaker 1: Is that from the schwan Man?
Speaker 4: No, it's Bluebell, but with the Bluebell one Bluebell. They
Speaker 4: make a doctor Pepper float.
Speaker 1: Also, yum me. I love me some blue Bell. It's
Speaker 1: probably my favorite ice cream.
Speaker 4: It wasn't until the whole hysteria issue like ten years ago. Dude,
Speaker 4: you know when they came back strong though.
Speaker 1: That that to me, I sensed conspiracy behind that because
Speaker 1: they were overtaking the entire market, and I think Anderson,
Speaker 1: Blue Bunny and all those were like, fuck, then we
Speaker 1: need to get them now. Because once they had the
Speaker 1: whole hysteria bullshit, it wasn't as simple like hey take
Speaker 1: it off the shelf, or it wasn't as simple as
Speaker 1: like hey, gone completely gone. Nobody carried them besides Texas,
Speaker 1: which is where they originated in like Midwest, and then
Speaker 1: it took them ten years to come back bullshit. They
Speaker 1: banded together to get them the fuck out of the
Speaker 1: market because they were taking over the market.
Speaker 4: I like the I do feel I feel like that's
Speaker 4: a very good description because I feel like they were.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make sense super super on.
Speaker 3: The way, Yeah they were, Yeah, it doesn't. They were
Speaker 3: the best. They were the best in the business for
Speaker 3: a while.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't make any sense until they were.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got another conspiracy. Yeah, uh, this is the
Speaker 3: ring ding. That's what my daughter called it. The ring ding.
Speaker 3: What she's rectangular with a very bright light on the
Speaker 3: front of it, the ring doorbell.
Speaker 4: That's that was my first guess.
Speaker 1: Yep, she gave me one other clue.
Speaker 3: But the second I say, that's gonna give it away.
Speaker 3: So are you ready for it?
Speaker 1: Flash now?
Speaker 4: Flashlight.
Speaker 3: There's a fruit on the back of it, and there's
Speaker 3: little clickie things on the side.
Speaker 1: My fruit of the lum underwear. Those are no longer bright.
Speaker 10: M h.
Speaker 1: Brown apple fruit.
Speaker 4: I did not give it away at all, maybe.
Speaker 1: Probably, says the says the person who looks at one
Speaker 1: every day claims they're better than everything else, literally everything.
Speaker 3: Well, you know you got any more?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got two more. You got any more? You
Speaker 1: go for it? Okay, it's big, it's blue, it's wet.
Speaker 4: What is a blue waffle?
Speaker 1: Big?
Speaker 3: Is blue, it's wet. Grandma's dildo.
Speaker 1: The pool, Yes, the pool, the pool.
Speaker 4: I do you got any more?
Speaker 10: So?
Speaker 3: String box? You can hold it by its neck and
Speaker 3: it has a body.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 4: Guitar.
Speaker 3: Mhm nice.
Speaker 1: Mine was. It's long, it's black, it's pointy, spatula.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna say, what is also the guitar? Since you
Speaker 4: said mine was woe? Don't need eyes for that?
Speaker 1: Do you beg it? Oh?
Speaker 4: You you look in my eyes?
Speaker 1: You look, you look, you look? You will I got
Speaker 1: one more?
Speaker 6: She called it the cactus fish.
Speaker 4: What is Grandma's still.
Speaker 1: Be fantastic? Yeah, puffer fish?
Speaker 3: She creepy and that. But this is the this is
Speaker 3: the best part. She goes, she goes, you can get
Speaker 3: high off of me.
Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 3: Yeah, creatures.
Speaker 1: She goes, creatures can get high off of me.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, the other description was I blow
Speaker 3: up like a balloon, I get prickly. I'm small but mighty,
Speaker 3: and some people bully me.
Speaker 8: I was like, okay, my penis, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 3: Okay, what next you were supposed to do? You're supposed
Speaker 3: to have a dirty joke here.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to come in red. Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 3: How about we just take a break and do some
Speaker 3: channely news.
Speaker 9: No, I don't want to do that either, some news.
Speaker 4: Welcome back to Channel the News. I'm your host, Squirt
Speaker 4: Mudbottom joining me later. His chip, sell it quick and
Speaker 4: a storm blowing. In our first story, a Pennsylvania woman
Speaker 4: faces charges after a video allegedly captured her defecating on
Speaker 4: a car in what police say it was an act
Speaker 4: of road rage. Christina Solomeadow, forty four, was arrested in
Speaker 4: connection with the prospective connection. Have you seen the video?
Speaker 4: This woman literally shat on another woman's car after eating
Speaker 4: taco bell. It looks like a case closed chip.
Speaker 1: What do you got for us? Thank you, mister Mudbottom.
Speaker 1: I'm still trying to clean out my car to this date.
Speaker 1: It was a beautiful white car and now it has
Speaker 1: the brown spot on the hood. Quite pested about it. However,
Speaker 1: I am not quite pissed about the outcome of a
Speaker 1: certain recent boxing fight. Apparently a big promoter has been
Speaker 1: putting on a bunch of YouTube stars to go and
Speaker 1: box each other for our entertainment. One particular night, Dana
Speaker 1: White of the UFC came out to go ahead and
Speaker 1: witness one of the greatest feats we've ever seen in
Speaker 1: martial arts, and that is one of the Island boys
Speaker 1: got his shit rocked, and I really hope to see
Speaker 1: his brother get rocked his shit as well. In the fight,
Speaker 1: we could see that the brother of the Island Boys
Speaker 1: didn't I know what the fuck he was doing in
Speaker 1: the boxing fight at all, and we saw him get
Speaker 1: his shit rocked hard by another boxer who really had
Speaker 1: no idea what the fuck he was doing either, but
Speaker 1: at least knew how tod fight a little bit. And
Speaker 1: the Island boy was like, oh, I didn't have the
Speaker 1: right training, I didn't have the right no whatever wrap
Speaker 1: onund in my hands to be able to fight with her. No,
Speaker 1: my vatina, we don't give a fuck. We want to
Speaker 1: see you get your face beating. And that was a
Speaker 1: glorious day. And I shall put it back to you,
Speaker 1: mister Malbottom, as I will toast Pinki's out, bitches.
Speaker 4: Pinkies out. Indeed, fuck them Island boys. Storm are you
Speaker 4: their storm yeller?
Speaker 1: Squirt?
Speaker 3: What's going on? Chipper Rooney has ship to you.
Speaker 2: I'm pumped up, man, we will We've got storms coming
Speaker 2: in all hot and heavy. Ain't nothing get me harder
Speaker 2: than op than a good stormlight open again, Casey, Anthony's
Speaker 2: trash can lid fucked too, man.
Speaker 3: You know, look, God, I'm telling you what, squirt.
Speaker 2: I've seen some storms in my days, and uh, these
Speaker 2: ones that we've got to come in here in the
Speaker 2: next few weeks are gonna leave the United States, whether
Speaker 2: than Miss Johnson's pennies. When the Piggy Wiggly has their
Speaker 2: all you can eat shrimp cocktail buffet. You know, you
Speaker 2: guys are eating so much shrimp that you start to glow.
Speaker 1: Fuck man.
Speaker 2: Last time them down down there at the Pigley Wiggily
Speaker 2: opened up the buffet, the wrinkle wrinkle lip, Ricky said.
Speaker 3: Miss Johnson's coot shoot tastes like pennies.
Speaker 1: For a week.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't mind chewing on penny now and then,
Speaker 2: but fuck man, if it's gonna make my fucking whiskers glow.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Anyways.
Speaker 2: Uh, you guys better get your raincoats and your fishing
Speaker 2: gears out because the boys storms blowing She too, Becky, you.
Speaker 1: Storm did you give us the weather? I did?
Speaker 4: I didn't hear.
Speaker 2: Storms blowing in in in Oh.
Speaker 4: Is that in fahrenheit or Celsius?
Speaker 3: What the fuck does that mean?
Speaker 1: I'm in the United States.
Speaker 2: I ain't in the fucking I believe it to me,
Speaker 2: it's just get on with the fucking show.
Speaker 4: In our last segment, this is a part of the
Speaker 4: part of the piece. There's been a big hooplah storm
Speaker 4: if you will, of the question of one hundred men versus.
Speaker 1: Gorilla storm Doe, you ain't fun.
Speaker 2: I got a gorilla down the fucking corner, name fucking
Speaker 2: it named Jeremy.
Speaker 3: He beats shit out of man.
Speaker 2: I watched it too, Now do TOPII whiley As a
Speaker 2: matter of fact, last time we had shrimp buffet fucking
Speaker 2: all you can eat Jared Jeremy there, motherfuckers was eating
Speaker 2: his hands.
Speaker 4: Who so okay, So I guess men would beat the gorilla.
Speaker 4: You had it there on Channel D News. Thank you
Speaker 4: Storm for Storm, for chip. I'm squaring my bottom. Catch
Speaker 4: you next week or month or whatever.
Speaker 1: I just really want to hear storm of blowings. Just
Speaker 1: say buffet again because it was so cute. I pronounced buffet.
Speaker 1: It was adorable. It was adorable. I just want to
Speaker 1: have that as my ringtone.
Speaker 3: It's like Chipperoni. Fuck I am speaking of chipper Rooney.
Speaker 3: I am excited. I am gonna take this week off
Speaker 3: and I am going to spend as much time as
Speaker 3: humanly possible on the golf course this week. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: mix it in a little bit of a little bit
Speaker 3: of home work and projects and some golf.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna send you as many photos as I can
Speaker 3: of me on the golf course while you're at work.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna put the over understone. This is to you
Speaker 4: over under on times he actually golfs this week. Anything
Speaker 4: to do with golf that's not at his house one
Speaker 4: and a half over and under.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go half.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, all right, you guys know what the difference
Speaker 4: is between a girls track team and a band of pygmies.
Speaker 5: M hmm.
Speaker 4: A band of pygmies is just a bunch of cunning runs.
Speaker 4: Mmmmm hmm.
Speaker 1: All right, whoa josh?
Speaker 4: Feel Yeah?
Speaker 1: What do you got?
Speaker 3: This was waiting for the joke to happen. I guess
Speaker 3: it's just not gonna you want to talk about the
Speaker 3: National Hula Hoop League.
Speaker 1: I sure do.
Speaker 4: As a matter of fact, I do. I did not
Speaker 4: keep score from the first round. I don't know what
Speaker 4: who had what and where and how and when, but yeah,
Speaker 4: let's go. Let's go over it. So second round of
Speaker 4: the Hulu Hoop League. It's all. It's in mid full
Speaker 4: swing currently and uh so let's go. First matchup. You
Speaker 4: want to do Easter or West? Easter West? Before you
Speaker 4: eat food?
Speaker 1: You fast? What was it you're doing another one?
Speaker 4: Oh boy, that's gonna be it.
Speaker 1: Well, we're gonna one an hour ago and nothing happened
Speaker 1: whatever five leagues later. Don't upside down doing the podcast picture.
Speaker 4: Amazing? Say Easter West? I'm sorry, Okay. First matchup, the
Speaker 4: Winnipeg Jets squeaked by the Saint Los Blues, and by
Speaker 4: squeaks by if you're not a hockey fan. Uh they
Speaker 4: tied the game with one point four seconds left in
Speaker 4: the third period of Game seven, and then they win
Speaker 4: it in overtime. Holy shit, So they move on.
Speaker 3: The crazy part about this bullshit is they went on.
Speaker 3: They're now facing the fucking night or no, no, that's
Speaker 3: not the Knights, that's not never mind, just kidding, that's
Speaker 3: oilers kidding because the same thing happened to the fucking
Speaker 3: Oilers with the Knights on their last game. Well I'm
Speaker 3: jumping ahead. Never mind, maybe this thing's kicking in all right,
Speaker 3: the first one.
Speaker 4: Fuck, yeah, there we go. So Winnipeg moves on in
Speaker 4: the first round, squeaks by Dallas moved on. They beat Colorado.
Speaker 4: So first matchup Winnipeg versus Dallas.
Speaker 1: Dumb? Who do you got Dallas?
Speaker 3: Dallas is too talented?
Speaker 1: Too deep?
Speaker 3: H Dallas?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Uh stoned?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think on. You know, somehow the stars like
Speaker 1: got pulled out of the avalanche and somebody found their nipples.
Speaker 1: One of them was pierced, and so they're coming around
Speaker 1: with the metal detector and that's how they found them.
Speaker 1: But definitely they were like, we need to go somewhere
Speaker 1: fucking hotter o, my god, and you know fucking divas
Speaker 1: or divas, you know, they go down to Dallas and
Speaker 1: they're like, yeah, is this uh? Is this how Dallas parties?
Speaker 1: And they forgot to drink any water. They just died
Speaker 1: of dehydration because it's fucking hot. A ship down there,
Speaker 1: you know, uh sucks, the fucking suck. But you know,
Speaker 1: the jets are taken off like they always do, you know,
Speaker 1: So I guess we're just gonna the Jets win it.
Speaker 4: Okay, uh, we're talking about basketball. I am, I am.
Speaker 4: I am also taking the Stars as Dome. I'm sticking
Speaker 4: with my original predictions and I actually have the Stars
Speaker 4: winning the Stanley Cup this year at the first round
Speaker 4: before the playoffs started. Next matchup the Vegas gold Knights.
Speaker 4: This is my personal absolute worst favorite matchup of the
Speaker 4: second round because I'm excited it's Vegas Golden Knights and
Speaker 4: Edmonton Oilers. I'm excited for the offensive powerhouse in this matchup.
Speaker 4: I am upset that one of these two is moving
Speaker 4: on and yeah, so it's hard for me. I had
Speaker 4: the Kings actually moving on in this round. I had
Speaker 4: them beating the Knights. So I'll stick with the people
Speaker 4: that beat the Kings and go Edmonton in this one.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna have them take this series in. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: say six stoned Edmonton Oilers, Vegas Golden Knights, well home
Speaker 4: team for you. You want to stick with the homies.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know, as everybody heard the last time,
Speaker 1: which is really just three of you, the King bit
Speaker 1: the dust, you know, and the milkshake was DrAk. We'll
Speaker 1: probably went out for the homide for the King, but
Speaker 1: then the oiler, you know, struck gold and wanted to
Speaker 1: go put it all in Vegas, put all in black,
Speaker 1: as they say, But you got challenged to a duel
Speaker 1: and lost that fucking duel because it's fucking Vegas and
Speaker 1: that Knight is a little fucking cunt, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. It's a little turd that won't flush, you know,
Speaker 1: just won't go away. Fact Knight's take it, okay, don't.
Speaker 3: I don't really care about this one. I hope that
Speaker 3: they fucking both just I don't know, somehow fucking lose.
Speaker 3: But I think the I think that the Knights will
Speaker 3: win this series.
Speaker 4: Think they're gonna come back and do it.
Speaker 3: Think it's gonna I think it's gonna happen.
Speaker 4: While we're recording this. They're down two to one in
Speaker 4: the series and their win last night, they had the lead,
Speaker 4: they blew the lead with like a minute left and
Speaker 4: then they scored with point four seconds left before it
Speaker 4: got to overtime. And they needed that win because if
Speaker 4: they go down three to zero to Minton, they were buried, buried.
Speaker 4: And I still think they even though they won that game,
Speaker 4: I still think they're being they.
Speaker 3: Are I will that they are, but it's one of
Speaker 3: those things where it.
Speaker 1: Could be a shift.
Speaker 4: Now, yeah, the Panther. We'll get to the east here
Speaker 4: in a minute. But so you said Vegas. Okay, okay,
Speaker 4: so let's hop over to the east. Next matchup Toronto
Speaker 4: and Florida. Toronto Maple leafs Florida Panthers defending Stanley Comme
Speaker 4: Champions Dome.
Speaker 3: Who I have said this that I think the Panthers
Speaker 3: are overrated. I think that this is their demise year.
Speaker 1: I think that they are one and done.
Speaker 3: I am gonna sick with the maple Leaves, even though
Speaker 3: on paper, I understand why the Panthers are the better team.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Stone, I think everybody knows that the Panthers
Speaker 1: like drown and maple syrup. You know, shout out to
Speaker 1: Antemima and she opens up laibe floodgates are going.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, that is the Pearl Milling Company.
Speaker 1: Now nobody gives a ship that sticky ichy uh. Okay.
Speaker 4: So you said Toronto's your pick? Yeah, okay, I in
Speaker 4: my bracket that I made, I do it. I did
Speaker 4: actually have Toronto beating Florida in this round. I'm going
Speaker 4: to stick with it. While we're recording this, it is
Speaker 4: two to two, and I actually think Florida has flipped
Speaker 4: the switch because in the first two matchups, Toronto looked
Speaker 4: completely in control of the series, and even in the
Speaker 4: third matchup where Florida won, Toronto looked in control of
Speaker 4: most of the most of that game like they were
Speaker 4: gonna win. But I'll stick with Toronto. Last matchup, Washington
Speaker 4: Capitals and the Carolina Hurricanes stoned.
Speaker 1: Everybody knows the Hurricane's greatest weakness is cocaine. The Capital's
Speaker 1: got plenty of it. I mean, how the fuck do
Speaker 1: you think they fudge all those reports that Doge found.
Speaker 1: I stole it all from the Senators quite frankly. But
Speaker 1: that's what happens when you have the top dog taking ship.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Capitals move on due to a cokeminging problem
Speaker 1: the Hurricane found.
Speaker 4: I have the Capitals moving on as well, Dome.
Speaker 3: So I have the Capitals, but I will admit I
Speaker 3: think I made a mistake.
Speaker 4: It's fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that simple. It's fair. I just I don't
Speaker 1: like I don't like you. I don't like anybody that's in.
Speaker 3: The fucking playoffs except for Dallas, like Dallas is the
Speaker 3: only one that I really give a ship. Oh well,
Speaker 3: that's not true that I have. I have made it
Speaker 3: very well known. I don't want to say it out
Speaker 3: loud on the podcast because then that makes it real.
Speaker 3: There is one team that I think does more than
Speaker 3: anyone thinks they're going to. You and I have talked
Speaker 3: about it, Jordan, So we talked about it once. My
Speaker 3: my dark horse team lost for this year.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't remember who it was, so I'm so.
Speaker 3: You know, I just said I don't want to I
Speaker 3: don't want to bring it to light on the podcast
Speaker 3: because that makes it too real and I don't want
Speaker 3: to jink some.
Speaker 4: All right, well whatever, that's the fucking round.
Speaker 1: And they're fucking curses curses.
Speaker 4: Okay, fine whatever, you fuck me?
Speaker 1: Fuck you.
Speaker 3: I got a question. What kind of pasties do you
Speaker 3: like to see? Or do you not care to see pasties?
Speaker 4: What do you mean like, what kind of like do
Speaker 4: you like?
Speaker 3: Like if you had to choose, like would you see
Speaker 3: would you want like a design like a star like
Speaker 3: let's say you haven't like Let's say let's say let's
Speaker 3: say you and the wife were having like, you know,
Speaker 3: a moment where she was like, I'm gonna spice it
Speaker 3: up and I'm gonna come out and be all sexy
Speaker 3: for you, Like, would you want a design on the
Speaker 3: pasty or would you care if it was just like
Speaker 3: a like a circle, like a tassel or some ship
Speaker 3: or like a star or.
Speaker 1: Maybe like a fucking smiley face.
Speaker 4: I think it's gonna be something fun. Just some kind
Speaker 4: of cover is not very cool? Yeah, something cool, A
Speaker 4: little bit of a little bit of zip.
Speaker 1: To the match panties.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's like a it's a gnome spinner?
Speaker 1: Yeah, where is it? Okay? So hold on?
Speaker 3: Is it the head? Is it?
Speaker 1: Is it a gnome head that spins?
Speaker 11: Okay, yes, yes, but yeah, but it has the question
Speaker 11: the question first with a little fuzzy ball, So that
Speaker 11: spinning with the head, right, that's okay, that's not obviously
Speaker 11: not on your wife's tits.
Speaker 1: But there's a little fucking Dad's on dayqual logo like
Speaker 1: right in the hat. Love it representing the bedroom?
Speaker 4: Love it for what about you?
Speaker 3: I I would like I would like some design. I
Speaker 3: think just a circle. Is it maybe like some candy,
Speaker 3: you know, some candy I can eat like, you know, like.
Speaker 1: Your fucking candy corn.
Speaker 3: Yeah, candy cord tassels come that with just a candy
Speaker 3: corn on the nipple.
Speaker 4: It's just propped up and they're walking all careful, like
Speaker 4: you can't build a candy cord.
Speaker 3: Get them pierced so they can hold like little baggies.
Speaker 1: So you got like gummy bears in one, candy corn
Speaker 1: in the other.
Speaker 3: You have variety, you.
Speaker 1: Like, you like, bite the candy corn off and you're
Speaker 1: eating it and you're like, why is this taste like
Speaker 1: Elmer's glue? How the fuck do you think I got
Speaker 1: him on there? That'd be terrible. Could you imagine gluing
Speaker 1: something in your nipple?
Speaker 3: Fuck? That that sounds miserable. I don't know, it's that
Speaker 3: sounds miserable.
Speaker 4: Not that bad. No, it might be into it might
Speaker 4: be he I mean, it sounds better than when the
Speaker 4: doctor dropped whatever you tensil on my nut that was
Speaker 4: not numbed up. That one that probably is worse than that.
Speaker 1: You got a little sack tab. You did tell that
Speaker 1: on the pot you did.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, he was working on one and then he
Speaker 4: dropped like it what it what it felt like? It
Speaker 4: felt like a fucking what it felt like even though
Speaker 4: it wasn't, but it felt like a crescent wrench hit
Speaker 4: my nut.
Speaker 3: It was probably the four steps.
Speaker 4: It was probably the fucking and he goes it's something
Speaker 4: he was and he was like, oh, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 4: but yeah, of course he's working on one. The other
Speaker 4: one wasn't numb yet and he's sack.
Speaker 3: Speaking of sackedap, did you see Adam at the at
Speaker 3: the Uh? Yeah, I did, the fucking asshole. He's like, hey, so,
Speaker 3: why why haven't you called or like come hung out
Speaker 3: or anything. I was like, fucking phone works.
Speaker 1: Two ways, bud. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Not if you're like, you have my number, you're more
Speaker 3: than welcome to invite me to any of the stupid
Speaker 3: fucking things that you have going on to you know
Speaker 3: that right, Like I don't know them unless you tell me.
Speaker 3: So there's that. Yeah, sure, so that works. We were
Speaker 3: sitting there talking and there did you see that one booth?
Speaker 3: There was a booth that it was very you know, uh, maga,
Speaker 3: maga uh where the guy had like black guns matter shirt.
Speaker 3: Did you see that one? And he had a bunch
Speaker 3: of tasers. He had a bunch of fucking yes. Oh,
Speaker 3: me and Adam, Me and Adam were sitting talking and
Speaker 3: you just hear there was some fucking dude who shocked
Speaker 3: himself with the taser at the booth.
Speaker 1: Nice. He was fantastic.
Speaker 3: I look over and he's just his face was bright
Speaker 3: red and he's chuckling, and his wife is just their
Speaker 3: heads down and she's just in disbelief.
Speaker 1: That he did it.
Speaker 3: And I was like, it's a fucking it's a first off,
Speaker 3: it's a man. It's it's a man in kingman, and
Speaker 3: you let him have free range of a fucking taser
Speaker 3: of a pocket taser, Like, what did you think.
Speaker 1: Was gonna happen?
Speaker 4: Yeah, he'd probably just be running out on the range
Speaker 4: with it. Since he's free on the range.
Speaker 1: Must be nice.
Speaker 3: Oh by the way, way speaking fucking so speaking speaking
Speaker 3: of Mother's Day today, So this year, in true fucking fashion,
Speaker 3: my daughters were like, hey, are you gonna be home
Speaker 3: for the daddy daughter dance? And I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't know when is it? I didn't I don't know
Speaker 3: what the date is. And my my eldest pops up
Speaker 3: and she's like, well, it's Father's Day, duh. And I
Speaker 3: was thinking to myself, I was like, that's fucked up,
Speaker 3: Like Don't get me wrong, I'm going right like and
Speaker 3: I want to go to the daddy daughter dance. But
Speaker 3: of all fucking days to put a daddy daughter dance,
Speaker 3: you put it on Father's Day to just give us
Speaker 3: another fucking obligation. Like, yeah, it's just incredible, dude, How
Speaker 3: how shit on this quote unquote holidays?
Speaker 4: Who do you think puts those women?
Speaker 1: Women? Exactly the right answer. It's wild, dude.
Speaker 10: Fuck you think you're gonna go do something your Father's Day,
Speaker 10: take your dance, You're gonna get dress up like a
Speaker 10: fucking monkey, and you're gonna pamper your daughter or daughters.
Speaker 3: And don't get me wrong, I've got I'm fine. I'm
Speaker 3: here for it, Like I'm good with spoiling my daughters.
Speaker 4: But hey, maybe you could pick up some singles at
Speaker 4: a daddy daughter dance. Yeah, you never know. Listen, it's
Speaker 4: twenty twenty five. She identifies as a male, but she's
Speaker 4: still a she.
Speaker 3: All I'm gonna hold would you any any any?
Speaker 1: Would you?
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna say what I'm about to say. No,
Speaker 4: it's rude, it's say it. Do you think women are
Speaker 4: listening to this? At fifty five minutes? Do you think
Speaker 4: women are listening to us.
Speaker 3: Fair point. Any woman that's at a daddy daughter dance,
Speaker 3: it's probably there alone for a reason. Dude, Let's just
Speaker 3: put it that way.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's like, maybe it's like a j they're covering
Speaker 4: both sides, both holidays.
Speaker 1: Or maybe they're like Caitlyn Jenner, they still want to
Speaker 1: go live out the glory days. Maybe would you?
Speaker 4: Hm, you wouldn't like if they still had their holes
Speaker 4: and they were you got them. They identified as Timothy the.
Speaker 1: Question, and you.
Speaker 4: Guys start having beers on Father's Day talking about grills
Speaker 4: and talking about sausages, and then Timothy all of a
Speaker 4: sudden gets too drunk and turns into Tiffany.
Speaker 3: Okay, which is a different question. I said no to it.
Speaker 3: I thought you were asking if I went to this
Speaker 3: specific daddy daughter dance, would I pick up? Would I
Speaker 3: try and pick up and hit on a woman?
Speaker 1: Okay, why not?
Speaker 4: That's a separate question we could answer my first.
Speaker 3: I answer that and your question better now. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like doesn't have the legs under she's got new
Speaker 1: balances on, she's flipping a burger, she's.
Speaker 4: Telling you dad jokes from underneath you.
Speaker 3: I mean, since you turn on, she's grilling. She's grilling
Speaker 3: while she's drilling.
Speaker 1: Good, hold on, I got some ship on the bed.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna move it out the way, and you just
Speaker 1: get hit with a nine iron stick.
Speaker 3: As like this title is prob one, bitch.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I normally I normally don't sleep with
Speaker 1: my blacks in the dead, but I was in the
Speaker 1: middle of remodelings.
Speaker 3: And looking like tiger woods. You're gonna be my caddie tonight.
Speaker 3: Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Tell me what the distance is. How is your drill
Speaker 1: bigger than mine? Jesus? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Fuck it? Ye gotta try anything once.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: You don't gotta, but you could.
Speaker 4: It's fine, all right, well whatever, alright, Well I think
Speaker 4: that's not that. We'll wrap this one up.
Speaker 1: Wrap it up.
Speaker 4: Oh that's way wetter than it was supposed to.
Speaker 3: Better in your throat than your pants.
Speaker 4: Taste that.
Speaker 1: Is on dake.
Speaker 4: Well, it's up someone seventy five. I'll catch you. That's
Speaker 4: gross later, wash your mouth.
Speaker 3: Hey, guys, what's the difference between sand and vaginal discharge?
Speaker 3: I won't gargle sand.
Speaker 4: Could you imagine trying to gargle sand.
Speaker 1: Could you fucking imagine you guys ever done a cinnamon challenge? Like,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's pretty similar.
Speaker 4: Exact same thing, brown sugar sand.
Speaker 1: Let's find out it was. It was