Speaker 1: Hmm, there's gotta be a way to open this store somehow. Oh, hey,
you're here. I was wondering where you got off to.
Well I didn't abandon you. I merely ran ahead to
ensure the treasure was safe, and it was safely tucked
behind this door. Hey, I'm a healer. I'm not very
good in a fight. That's your job. I'm the team
medic and strategist.
Speaker 2: H yeah, well it's.
Speaker 1: Hard to heal with the minutes horre trying to squish
me and eat me and smack me and stuff. Besides,
you had a few health potions, right, Plus you're really tough.
I knew you'd be fine, and you were. That's why
I'm the strategist. I know these things. Now. I'm just
glad that you're here because this door is locked, and
I'm pretty sure that key we got from the weird
dude at the market will fit.
Speaker 2: You still have it, right?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well, I think the treasure is on the other side.
I mean, all the paths in this god forsaken dungeon
lead there, and it has the old King's crest on it,
so it must be inside. So give me the key.
Speaker 2: Come on, Uh, what's that look?
Speaker 1: You have it. You have to have it. Please tell
me you still have it. You dropped it? Oh no,
how where? No, how did this happen? Now we'll never
get into King Goora's vault. All of our hard work
and all of my planning for nothing. Oh what a
cruel world, What a cruel cruel. Oh you know what,
It's actually just a wooden door. You could just smash
through that quick and easy, couldn't you. You you strong
handsome man. Uh yeah, I'm the brain's you're the bron
that's our whole dynamic. And I mean, look at these
noodle arms. I'm not breaking through anything except for emotional
walls with these bad boys. Now hurry up, I want
to see what kind of riches await us. Oh you
need healing? Huh huh typical, always getting her and needing
me to take care of you. You know you're lucky
I'm here or else? Who knows what would happen to you?
Not even enough strength to break open a door. No,
I am not wasting my manna. I only have so
much left. Just use one of the healing potions I
gave you. You'll use them all. I gave you like
three before we came in here. Oh my gosh, some
warrior you are. Why did we spend half of our
goal on that fancy, schmancy new weapon of yours. If
you still get hurt from a fight with three or
four measily minotaurs, Ah, you're so needy all the time.
Speaker 2: Woe is me? I stubbed my toe.
Speaker 1: Can you heal me? Boo hoo, I'm bleeding out?
Speaker 2: Can you heal me?
Speaker 1: I mean it's always do this or do that, or
heal me or fix me, But you can never ask
if I need anything. Oh, yes, we are doing this
right now. I mean maybe I don't want to heal you.
Speaker 2: How about that?
Speaker 1: Oh, don't be traumatic. I'm not gonna deny you healing.
I'm not a monster, but I am gonna bargain with
you first.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna spend my manna points to use my magic
to heal you, and then I'm gonna need a little
something in exchange for my troubles. Of course, I don't
know what do you have to trade gold? We're literally
about to come into buckets and buckets full of gold
when we pillage all the treasure on the other side
of this hair door. I need something more enticing, something
more exciting. Hmmm, now about I know, how about a headpad? Yes,
like patting me on the head with some scretches. You know,
I like getting head pats. Yeah, but it costs like
three gold a pop to go to the head pat parlor.
I don't have money like that in this economy, and
especially when I have a friend with perfectly good head
padding hands at home. So come on, just some headpats
in exchange for healing. It's not that hard of an ask,
is it. Hm? Yes, that's it? Ah, Hey, let'd you stop? No? No, no,
don't you dare act cute?
Speaker 2: I know I said headpat.
Speaker 1: But I meant more than one. Well, I figured that
it was obvious because a single stroke of my little
fox head does not count as a headpat.
Speaker 2: It's not a headpat without.
Speaker 1: Several pats and and some scratchies mixed in there. So
don't cheap out on me.
Speaker 2: Hmm that's mo like, Hm, keep going no more.
Speaker 1: More, my wy.
Speaker 2: Hey, don't judge me.
Speaker 1: We're perfectly save here and this is perfectly fair. I
patch up your wounds, you pat my little head. This
is my version of getting healed. Okay, it feels good,
and I'm feeling very healed. Oh yes, yes, yes, is
just like that? M all right there? Oh yes, yes,
that is the spot right behind my ear. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah, yay. Oh gosh, that is just amazing. Oh
my goodness. Are you a professional head patter or what?
This is a head pad? This is what I'm talking about? Mm? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.
Speaker 2: Yes yes yes yes.
Speaker 1: Ah hmm that felt great. I really needed that. Yeah.
I suppose you held up here under the bargain, so
I should heal you. But well, I'm just thinking I
kind of hold all the cards here, so I may
as well make the most of this and get something
extra for you, a bonus tip for my services, if
you will. Oh, relax, it's another easy little favor. Besides,
it's not like you're badly wounded or anything, and you're
just tired.
Speaker 2: I'm a little banged up, that's all.
Speaker 1: Now. I'm thinking that head pats were a good start,
but I think that some snuggles would be even better.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm serious.
Speaker 1: My head feels nice, but the rest of me is jealous,
especially my tail. Oh don't be silly, of course, I
don't want to snuggle up on the rough stone floor
of this dungeon. But luckily for us, I have a
few magical items on my sleevey well in my back
to be accurate, and I've got the perfect thing and
just for this occasion. Aha, here we go, stand back.
Speaker 2: That's amazing. How cool is this?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a rug, Well, it's a pocket rug. Technically
it's the size of a palm when stored away, but
grows to the size of a full sized, soft fluffy
rug when tossed on the ground. Well, when you were
forking over the gold for that amazing weapon of yours,
I had a peruse at the marketplace and I spotted
a good warlock friend of mine selling magical items and
he gave me an amazing discount for this. And now
we have the perfect place to lay down and have
some snuggles.
Speaker 2: Come on, lay down with me.
Speaker 1: Besides, if you don't think it's practical to have snuggles
when we're in enemy territory, then I will have you
know that my manna will recover somewhat while we rest.
So it's a totally great idea and they'll make me happy.
And if I'm happy, then I'll heal you. It's a
win win win win wind no matter which way you
look at it. Now, quick snuggle me, give me some attention.
Cute stuff, come on, m yes, just like that. Oh
my gosh, isn't this rug so soft and comfy? Hmm?
That little warlock is really the best when it comes
to magical items, even if he is sassy.
Speaker 2: And and and.
Speaker 1: Also you're also really warm and cozy. It's to lay
next to.
Speaker 2: And don't be shy by the way.
Speaker 1: Really press up against me like nice and clothes, A
real true snuggle. I wanna feel your breath on my neck. Mm. Yes,
give me the tingles? A hey, are you cold back
there by any chance? Oh?
Speaker 2: No reason.
Speaker 1: I was just thinking I have this a big, big, big, big,
big fluffy tail over here doing nothing.
Speaker 2: I may as well.
Speaker 1: Rub it around you and snuggle you back. That's like
the perfect blanket, isn't it. Just don't fall asleep on me.
We have duties, mister, and this little healer is not
going to snuggle herself now, is she? So? Why don't
you rub and scratch my tail? M h.
Speaker 2: Ah?
Speaker 1: Yes, you're very gentle with your hands. How did you
know to be extra careful with my tail. I'm not
super sensitive. I mean, my tail is not super sensitive. Well,
actually it is, but it just sounds like an insult
when you say it like that. I Besides, it's not
my fault that the sheets they have on the beds
at the Starshine Tavern were really irritating my sensitive tails.
It was a weird fabrick. It was too hard and scratchy,
but not the good scratchy. I mean, beds are meant
to be soft, Like who invented crunchy bed sheets? Hmm. Well,
now that you've made me reexperience all that emotional tail
related trauma, I think it's only fair that you give
me a little more than snuggles. No no, no, no no,
don't stop snuggling me. Keep holding me. I'll just roll
over to face you. Okay. Now, I think that since
you're already cuddling me, you may as well give me
a few forehead kisses while you're here. Yes, I want
some cheeky little kisses. I need them. Plus, it's your
fault for making fun of my tail being extra sensitive.
You own me this, and I'm not doing no healing
no more unless you've give in to my demands, you say,
I'm being extra cheeky and entitled, but it's working out
for me, right. I've gotten headpats and snuggles and cuddles
and tail scratches, and now you're gonna press those sweet
lips of you Arizon to my forehead and give me
a few sneetches. Go ahead, don't make me wait too long. Hmmm,
that felt so weird but so good. And do it again,
please please? I require additional kisses. Please, hey, more, please
keep going. Its kiss is making my mona replenish. I
can feel it. Oh for sure, there is a total
science to this magic. Just keep kissing my forehead.
Speaker 2: M looky.
Speaker 1: One more and then we're done. But make this last
one a big one. Okay. You gotta impress me and
make me feel extra good or it doesn't count. Go
for it. Whoa that is? I can feel my cheeks
getting all pink and hot. I guess that's a good sign.
Oh shush, I am not flushing. I'm just really cozy
and more besides your one to talk with those trembling,
sweaty hands around around me.
Speaker 2: Don't be embarrassed.
Speaker 1: It's a normal get flustered when you're sharing a sweet
moment with someone, especially when it's someone you care about.
Not that I'm flustered or anything. M No, don't get up,
not yet it Please stay here with me. I know
I said one last kiss, but but I need one
more kiss from you. No, not another forehead kiss. I
was thinking something more along the lines of, well, I
was just thinking that since you know you already kissed
me on the forehead and all, then it's not it's.
Speaker 2: Not that big of a leap to just could just.
Speaker 1: Give me a kiss on the lips, right, Yeah, I
mean it makes sense to me. It's just one tier
above before I kiss. If you ask me, and and
I I I would. I would really enjoy it, and
and then and then I promise we'll be done and
I'll heal. You just just please give me this one
last thing.
Speaker 2: Don't make it weird.
Speaker 1: What's a kiss between friends? Friends share and the sharing
is caring, And we would just be sharing a kiss
because if we care about each other and a friendship
kiss and it's m hm.
Speaker 3: He oh my gosh, we just and you just and
I okay, I was like amazing.
Speaker 1: Did you feel like that spark? Yeah, that little lightning strike.
Oh my goodness, that was really something. I think it's
gonna give me the suomies. Oh uh, let me just
get up for a second. I think I just need
to run a little lap ah geez, I just have
so much energy.
Speaker 2: I'm like, did that really just happen?
Speaker 1: That was amazing? Like seriously, the snuggles in the paths
on the forehead caisses were amazing, but that was just ah,
that was justing no special, Like, seriously, thank you for that.
I think it's I think it's really warm down here
in this dungeon because my cheeks are all red. Oh yes,
I am sufficiently happy with your efforts to heal me.
So here, let me pat you up and and and
one second.
Speaker 2: And there we go.
Speaker 1: Now do you feel.
Speaker 2: That's funny? Because I feel amazing too.
Speaker 1: Well, now that we are fully rested up and recharged,
let's see what treasure awaits us inside. Huh No, don't
waste your energy kicking down the door. I'll just use
the key. Yeah. I may have told a little fib m,
but I needed an excuse to get you to give
me all those sweet things. Well, you definitely did have
the key, but you know that warlock friend of mine Well,
he's a cute little verb creature, and I may have
paid him with a pack of sorroreos to discreetly pickpocket
you and bring me the key. Well, you wouldn't even
let me hold it for a few seconds, and I
wanted to hold it, and also I wanted to be
the first through the treasure door. Of course you didn't
notice him taking it. He is a very talented warlock,
and he's very small. He can fit into small places. Look,
we can discuss my selfish habits when we're snuggling back
in our room at the tavern, But for now, let's
check out our new fortune, shall we. Oh my gosh,
look at it all.
Speaker 2: We're rich.
Speaker 1: Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know we have
to sell it all first, but come on, it won't
be that hard. Look how shiny and golden it is.
We're basically already loaded at this point. We are gonna
make a fortune from selling this treasure, but not this.
Speaker 2: We are keeping this crown. I want to wear this crown. Well,
why don't you find something to keep too.
Speaker 1: We can both keep one trinket before we sell the rest.
Speaker 2: That's the rule.
Speaker 1: Hmm. I wonder what's in this box. Oh a book,
A dusty book. Let's see what it's called. Ah Ye,
old Jurassic Park factionary tale of the misuse of biomancy.
Speaker 2: Sounds like a fun read.
Speaker 1: I bet I'll be a fan of this one. Okay, fine,
we get to keep two trinkets. Oh my gosh, look
at all this. We're never gonna have to take another
quest or go on another adventure again for money. We're
set for life with all of this. Mm. But that
being said, I think that we should keep taking quests
and going on adventures together anyway. Yeah, well, we may
not need the money, but it will let us spend
more time together. And I always have a blast adventuring
with you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I really like you, like a lot.
Speaker 1: And you know it's super noble and all to help
our community and stuff, right, Yeah, mostly the spending time
with you for sure. Now, how about we grab all
this treasure and head back to the city to sell it,
and then afterwards you can take me back to the
tavern so we can celebrate our new wealth and our
new relationship. Uh huh, you heard me. Oh, and also
lots and lots and lots of headbutts and snuggles and scratches,
and many, many many morcisses okay, perfect,