Speaker 1: Third up, the fifteenth Lobster Spring Roll of the season.
Speaker 2: Wow, what a surprise, would I would argue.
Speaker 1: One of the guests said, I'm gonna need another one.
You've already had so.
Speaker 2: Many, And no one at that table mentioned, yeah, we've
already had this.
Speaker 1: No, and the Lobster spring roll sat upon and just
a gelatinously beautiful puddle of bottled sweet chili sauce. This
is an eighteen year old at USC who wants to
get into cooking, serving his roots. Email. Hey, hello, and
welcome to another brand spanking new episode of Bad TV,
a podcast we're in today we break down Bravos below
Jack and I want to clear was it bad? Kaylin?
I didn't notice it? Unnecessary? Unnecessary? I think forgive me?
There you go. Do you have a lighter in here?
Speaker 2: Maybe?
Speaker 1: So it's bad TV and it's here for your ears,
and we're talking about below deck. I'm Dylan. That's pat
permission to come aboard. Kaylin. Hey, I can kind of
hear it now, I kind of hear it.
Speaker 2: Okay, how you doing, I'm doing great?
Speaker 1: How are you doing this weekend? Oh?
Speaker 2: This weekend?
Speaker 1: We recorded early? Were Mariah Carey? That's why you.
Speaker 2: Want to know it was Mariah Carey.
Speaker 1: Who ben Oh my god, what.
Speaker 2: We'll get into it.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna have this young woman do all my
work for me while I go draw myself a bubble bath.
Oh first, so you Mark Doffy, what the fuck is
wrong with you? We'll get it was a weird pull.
I don't know why I could compare it him. Yeah,
I don't know why.
Speaker 2: I've never thought of him taking it bath.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know what. Oh well, he took a
lot of baths.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, anyway, where were we my weekend?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay? This weekend is Elliott's ninth day of celebrating her
sixth month. Yes, yes, we have family coming over.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We just got through her actual birthday with eighteen of
her friends came over for a spa party that I
floated sweet six. Oh yeah, there's nothing like paying for
eighteen six year olds to come over here and get
their nails done, their little toes done. Yeah, get massages.
Speaker 1: I wish you would have invited me, because I would
have I would have gone up to Ellie and I
would have put my arm around her and I would
have gone. You see all these little girls, they're not
going to mean anything to you when you grow up.
You're not going to know any of them. Maybe one,
maybe one, and your dad had to pay for all
of them to come here. Stop doing this, damn stop
doing it.
Speaker 2: That's why I would me her mother is anyway, That's
what That's what I was up to last week that
little child.
Speaker 1: By the way, me and Ellie and Quinn had had
some great uncle time yesterday. They were so fun.
Speaker 2: How about you? What are you up to this weekend
while we're making small times?
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I was man, you asked, and Vella
very important. But anyways, we're gonna do some time with
the in laws. But last weekend I was invited to
and I was thinking. I thought, like a quirk, just
for a moment, a brief moment, it entered my mind,
maybe I should invite pat to this for the content only.
I was invited to a screening at the Lemley for
the Academy Awards Collection of OSCAR nominated Animated Shorts. This
was a screening of the five animated short films in
the theaters. What would would you go to that?
Speaker 2: I would you would?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: It was bad?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah? It was interesting though, it was interesting.
Speaker 2: I've always thought that that's those kind of categories are
interesting because I think I could pull that one off.
If I had like five years head time, I'd be like,
all right, twenty thirty one, I want to win Best
Animated Film because they only need to be what four
minutes long?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, some of the it's like between ten
and twenty minutes each.
Speaker 2: Well, Kobe, who's the one who helicopter crashed?
Speaker 1: The one who helicopter crashed was Kobe.
Speaker 2: Kobe. He did a four minute one called I Love Basketball. Yeah,
he won an Academy Award for that. That was a
short animated film. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, so mine will
be four okay a minute.
Speaker 1: What year is going to be about?
Speaker 2: I don't know yet. I'll have to work shop it.
But anyway, if you gave me five years lead time,
I would focus on that, okay, and I'd win.
Speaker 1: There was one called Papillon, which had a really really
amazing art style, and there was another one called The
Girl who Cried Pearls, which was out of Toronto. That
was nauseating and made me sick, but it was also
really beautiful. Yeah, it was a lovely, lovely time and
The purveyor of all these screenings is the great Michael Sable,
one of the most Jewy people I've ever met in
my life.
Speaker 2: And you can say that because you're Jewish.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No. He stands five foot four, he sounds like this,
and he works in post production. He looks like a turtle,
and his last name is a cured whitefish. The Jews
put on bagels. So case in point, I'll invite you
to the next one. Thanks, all right, all right, Caitlin, Hello,
I'm not going to ask him what it's going to
take to what we've been going on too long?
Speaker 2: That's our Yeah, right, anything interesting of note this weekend,
Kaitlin work there you.
Speaker 1: Go, yeah, we shouldn't have. And now I feel like
he's kind of like, well, I work on the weekends,
you know that kind of I feel like there was
a superiority with that answer. One word? Am I paranoid?
Or was he trying That's what he was trying to do, right, Okay,
half work, half job interview? So okay, all right, great,
you get in the comments, let us know what you
did this past weekend. And here we go in a one, two, three,
four or five reindeer. Here we go getting into below deck.
Speaker 2: Do we want to do any housekeeping?
Speaker 1: Yes, before we get into below deck. Our breakdown of
Love is blind of Zetpatreon dot com, Slash another podcast.
Speaker 2: I thought it was a fun season. Dylan hated the reunion.
I actually enjoyed it. There was a couple surprises there.
There are a couple of people that we hate. They invited.
Actually everybody in the audience were past cast members of
the franchise, which was interesting. Yeah, yeah, actually not but yeah,
that was fun and we had a fun time recapping it.
And then obviously you guys can't wait until we start
recapping our No No, our triumphant return to the Bachelor
franchise with our new team Ruby, Wren and Klin. We've
never done it as a forsome together, and we're doing
it with Taylor Frank.
Speaker 1: She looks like a Ferbie.
Speaker 2: She's interesting looking.
Speaker 1: Well, she looks like a Ferbie. Well.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to recap her journey for love because
we all know it's going to work out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. How many children she have three?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's unbelievable. Yeah, we're also doing summer Patreon. So anyways,
let's get into the episode. What happened this evening. I
need to rescind a comment I made last week. I
called the.
Speaker 2: Use the B word.
Speaker 1: I said they were bitches.
Speaker 2: That's a tough one, man.
Speaker 1: I said, these women were a bunch of bitches, and
they were don't get me wrong, but they weren't that bad,
you know, and I do. I'm embarrassed, pockmarked, pink cheeked,
and embarrassed that I fell for it again, Was this
your best? Obviously a ruse pulled on the audience. This
was going to be a bit and it was. And
I think a lot of my be word impression was
drawn from that dastardly trick. I feel duped and I
feel remorseful. Okay, now someone's saying I would like coconut
water without ice. Ice defeats the purpose of coconut water.
Your bread want to commit harmful acts? You know? But
not and not really that was the line that bought that.
Believe it or not, that was the line.
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought it was. We are not here to
minimize our palettes.
Speaker 1: God, yeah, you know what. I'm gonna not rescind it.
But they weren't that well.
Speaker 2: I was going to say, the end of the day,
that was that those lines and I and I like
these Charter guests. I thought there were a delight. But
what those types of things that come out of your
mouth are on the scale of obnoxiousness, They're on par
with who is that idiot that ripped people off with
Timeshares that was married to the Queen of Versailles? He
said one time, he was like, uh, chicken is for
poor people or something. He's dead now, thank god. Anyway,
it's just the arrogance is in another class.
Speaker 1: And you've done a deep dive on Pink magazine, Right.
Speaker 2: Well I did. They're fine. The magazine checked out. It
was very good, it did. Okah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: Never understand though, like companies that like, you'd think they'd
have a more social media, bigger social media presence like
they have like thirty thousand followers on Instagram. Is that
a big deal or no?
Speaker 1: No, I don't know. It's you know, listen, we you know,
we're no Mavericks with social media, but we do pretty good.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, ye.
Speaker 1: Anyways, listen, I give this episode seventy seven pots. It
was great to hear from poor Harrison.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that poor guy.
Speaker 1: Hey, honey.
Speaker 2: I called.
Speaker 1: There's a search and rescue going on for you right now.
I hadn't heard from you in four days, Alicia.
Speaker 2: I call production. They said they can't talk to me. God.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything's fine. That conversation was great, and Jenna continues
to be one of my favorite cast members we've had
in some time. Also, I'm excited to get to how
to Close More Ass for Less Money with Eddie because
he seems to be Dylan.
Speaker 2: Once again, I have to correct that. I apologize. Spoke
to my publisher. All right, Sorry, it's been changed, by
the way. Just for all the people that are excited
about that book. It's coming out in twenty twenty eight.
Speaker 1: Before your Academy Award winning.
Speaker 2: It's cracking the code how to Close More Ass for
No Money?
Speaker 1: Okay, got it? Yeah, where he's a mess when it
comes to spitting game. I've never seen anybody there's that
kind of x Y game versus attractiveness. Right, he's attractive
enough to not need the best game. He has the
he I'm excited he has minus game. He is a
minus game. It's crazy.
Speaker 2: He's an idiot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, seventy seven pods.
Speaker 2: All right, I'm going to address your thoughts about has
been who I am going to change his name back
to Ben. Here's my thoughts on this. It's nice to
see someone find themselves again. And as you know, Patty
calls balls and strikes here. As much as i'll i'll
rib someone, bust their balls, rip them down to their core,
make fun of them, mock them, I also when I
see the goodness in them, just like Luke saw in
Darth Vader, even though he killed a bunch of kids
and blew up planets and whatnot. Yeah, there's always good
in someone.
Speaker 1: I don't think Luke really did Luke get the gravity
of what darth Vader had.
Speaker 2: I don't think he did.
Speaker 1: I don't think he did either.
Speaker 2: The prequels weren't there yet.
Speaker 1: So because like it's like we're gonna be compassion. I
know it's your dad and everything. It makes things murky,
But he killed hundreds of millions of people.
Speaker 2: True, Yeah, yeah, that's a tough thing to get over. Well, anyway,
I think the redemption for Ben has begun, and it
started with this six course meal. He did it without
enough in Dylan. Yeah, no, well I guess we'll get there.
Speaker 1: No, it was good, it was good.
Speaker 2: My point is everyone likes a winner, including Jenna. Now,
I personally would like I think he's too old for her.
I would like him just have a flirtatious banter with
her throughout that.
Speaker 1: She's also too Wallace and Grommet for her too, right, Yeah, but.
Speaker 2: I'm ruining for him now, and I'm gonna say something crazy.
I think he deserved that goddamn bath, and I liked
him having a full glass of pino do war. Oh really, yes,
I think he deserved it.
Speaker 1: Oh cool.
Speaker 2: I would have done the same goddamn thing.
Speaker 1: That's a hot take. I actually don't mind that take.
I disagree with it, but I don't mind it.
Speaker 2: I would have cleaned up the galley with the Balkan
biscuit for about thirty minutes and said I'm going to
do exactly what he did after that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you would clean up the galley for thirty minutes. Okay, Yeah,
he didn't do it for one No, okay, And I'm
sorry that I slipped into my baby voice there. I
don't know why I did.
Speaker 2: Okay. I think the episode overall was okay. But what
are we expecting out of sixteen episodes of watching Sea Rats?
Fourteen knots.
Speaker 1: Calen, how many knots do you give it?
Speaker 2: I will give it fifty five knots.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's good knots. That's a good knots. Sorry, I
just wanted to take a breath to compose myself before
we got got into it. Is that? Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, Mecca is ready for a seven thirty dinner.
It's gonna be the best table ever?
Speaker 2: And it was. Do you see that goddamn table scape?
Speaker 1: Jenna, I'm on my feet. It was beautiful, It was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
Speaker 2: Who is this peacock of a sea rat takes pride
in her work?
Speaker 1: She's unbelievable. God her shutting Eddie down at the end
of the episode, Oh my awesome, fucking amazing.
Speaker 2: Although I think she talked to him too much. Why
even bother with that idiot?
Speaker 1: She was wasted?
Speaker 2: Fair enough?
Speaker 1: Is it gonna be your best table ever?
Speaker 2: Shut?
Speaker 1: Shut up? Go away?
Speaker 2: But this feeling themselves that is my thing.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't like the administering of quizzes and tests
at every time? Can I say, I gotta just go
enjoy your vacation.
Speaker 2: It's a stupid thing. This is what new money does.
Speaker 1: Ben is having a tough time. Caviar service is going
to be first, but he has lost his mother. Nope, sorry,
he has lost his oven. That's weird. No, no, no,
you way to quit.
Speaker 2: The two that's funny. Yeah, yeah, no oven, six courses
his mother. He didn't lose his mother. Still, she's not dead.
I'd say losing the oven is more like losing the
deposit on that wedding because your buddy was porking your fiance.
Side note, I think pork was going to be one
of the courses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well it was one of the options. You
could do pork, salmon, chicken, or an eggplant. What do
you mean? Do I like what you did there? Huh?
Do I like that? You? What are you asking if
I liked.
Speaker 2: Anyway?
Speaker 1: Some fucking Mark Twain Foundation Award winning comedy bit there. Okay,
I think your buddy was pork and your wife and
I think pork was on the menu in more ways
than what like a fucking Brooklyn Janet.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Now, before this happens, I believe the Balkan
biscuit uh grabs jay wow, jay wow, and she wants
to have a little chat with him about that. You
know that wine date they had. Now I have a
little inside information here. A little birdie told me there
was a little, uh, little editing thing here when the
Balkan biscuit said I don't want to threesome. She might
have been out there having a little glass of wine
with him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's not run a foul of any narratives with
information we.
Speaker 2: May told me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Pat loves talking to sea rats.
Speaker 2: Sea rats love talking to me.
Speaker 1: I know it's a two way street. That's why it
works so well.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying the bulk and biscuit, wow, crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm so bad at talking to sea rats.
Speaker 2: I love talking to that.
Speaker 1: I was talking to one recently. I was like, I
can't talk. I don't know how to talk to people. Yeah,
I don't. I can't do it. Remember, I think one
of the reasons why we're not on the greatest footing
with Kate Chastan is because when she was pregnant years ago,
I thought we had a rapport and I was like, hey, well,
hope everything's going right, and it's like, yeah, I can't
do it. I need to I come across better in person.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing I think Ka Shastan. I could never
say anything bad about the Queen of the Sea. I
think she's just over us.
Speaker 1: Fuck her, we hate her. Oh yeah, no, I'm kidding.
All right. So Alicia loves her boyfriend, don't get her wrong,
but she has been ignoring him for a few days,
and because she hasn't said one word in close to
a week, he's starting to get pretty concerned.
Speaker 2: I'd argue the silence is more cruel than just being
upfront with him or just call him and say how
are you?
Speaker 1: Huh yeah, I just communicate to him, say good morning,
really busy, talk to you later. She doesn't do that,
and then we'll get to the conversation that she has
with him later. Whoa that was? If I was poor Harrison,
I'd be like, I'm more confused than effort.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is also cool. Here's what I would say.
This is an advice to a sea rat. Screw it,
you're a sea rat. Just fucking lie you're asked to him.
Lie because as we know, sea rats relationships, they're like
New Year's uh.
Speaker 1: What you call him?
Speaker 2: Resolutions?
Speaker 1: That's what you call him?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, lots of hope but quickly giving up on.
Speaker 1: Oh this is what I would say to any sea
rat in a kind of new budding relationship with somebody. Okay,
you're in a two month relationship with somebody. Right, you're
about to go on a show. Lie, do whatever you're
gonna do on the show. The show's not gonna come
out for another.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll be through two more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll have fallen in loved seven more times by.
Speaker 2: That personal story quick one, though I've already told it,
but new audience. We're growing all the time dating this girl.
Lebanese Lana were together.
Speaker 1: In the face famously, not only that she threw.
Speaker 2: A glass at my head. So anyway, it was.
Speaker 1: A toxic relationship, very much so.
Speaker 2: Not on this end. It was coming one way full broil.
Speaker 1: Though it was hot and heavy.
Speaker 2: This is the one that punched me in the car
while I was driving. Dare I say, very dangerous for
both of us?
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, would she fool around with your shutter or
was that a different.
Speaker 2: Now that's the Latina one broke acrylic nail in my asshole,
But this one was crazy in a different way. Anyway,
I decide I'm falling in love with Lebanese Lana. We're
together for a year, What she didn't know was the
night I met her, i'd actually met another girl, and
I forget this girl, but I slept with her. So
I decide, because we'd always put that date that we
meant as our anniversary date, I decided geniusly that I
needed to admit that i'd slept with the girl on
the night that we met. Now, I'd asked a couple
of guys at work at this insurance company, North American Insurance,
should I tell her this? They said, are you out
of your mind? I said no, I need to be honest.
So we go out to Hamburger Hamlet. We're halfway through
our Hamburgers. I said, Lana, I'd love you with all
my heart. I need to admit this to you. On
the night we met, I slept with some random girl.
Speaker 1: And then you took another bite of your Western bacon.
Speaker 2: Cheeseburger I did. She said I can't eat anymore, and
I said, can I finish yours?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Anyway, I dumped her like three months later. I should
have never admitted that.
Speaker 1: No, stupid is Hamburger Hamlet still there?
Speaker 2: Don't know van eyes? Oh, no, that one's been gone
for a while.
Speaker 1: Really, would they do their big hockey puck kind of things.
Speaker 2: Don't remember, it's been a number of years. I don't
eat anymore.
Speaker 1: That's true, Calyn, How you doing? Okay, so let's get
to well first. I don't know who this fucking monster is,
but I pretty hung up on it. I didn't ask
for ice in my coconut water. It defeats the purpose
of coconut water. What are you talking about? What does
that mean? We can move on?
Speaker 2: No, let me say this. I think Alicia was putting
out some sort of energy. If you go back to Tilmore, well,
I think that was a jab, and that might have
been to at least acknowledge they all hated her. I
think she was putting out an energy that the charter
guest didn't like. I'm just reading into a lot of things, okay,
And she was the one that she had that little
call on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Well let's get to table decre and
the dinner prep. Jen is called off the bench because Alicia,
newly promoted from galley hand to interior, can't do tables.
And once again this is you have to ask Daisy,
what are you doing? What are you doing? You're gonna
have Alisia do the tables for this group of people.
Speaker 2: What I'm.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have Conka trucks on the fucking table. It's
gonna look like a poker night. It's it's gonna be
an absolute disaster. So anyways, it's to be sexy. It's
to be the best table ever, and the best table ever.
It is, we'll get to it. Mikey isn't working on
the deck enough, and Eddie still has a ton of
anxiety because of the sea rat drama. Eddie is uh,
he is a fragile creature right now, Eddie, nothing is literally,
nothing is happening right now. Just tie the ropes.
Speaker 2: But haven't you ever like fucked up? And you just
want to resolve it and you can't because you're working,
You're busy. Yeah, and you're going nuts. It's consuming all
your thoughts.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2: When I leave the house and I'm pissed off at
my wife, yeah, and you're like, even though we've been
together for almost fifteen years, it's still like a fog.
I'm like, I hope she calls me. Yeah, yeah, she
better call me first because I'm not calling her.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So then you keep staring at your phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally totally. Yeah, no, Ben, there, girlfriend, Calen, you've
been there. Of course, let's get to dinner, drink service first,
then cheese, meats and caviar. This doesn't go long enough.
This caviar and cocktail service lasts about twenty minutes. And
Ben is right that this is not a very long time, but.
Speaker 2: It should last twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think thirty. Okay, I think thirty. But Ben
is of this mind. Where Ben is still Ben came
up in the boot camp kind of salad days of
the first couple of seasons of Below Deck, wherein the
people that chartered these vessels were Floridian trash, so you
could boss them around a little bit. Now we've got
people that cannot You are not to tell a paying guest, actually,
you're gonna do what we fucking tell you. Now. I
understand why Ben still thinks that, because he has his
delusions of grandeur and he thinks that he's a celebrity
of sorts. But the fact that Ben thinks that Daisy
should be telling the guests no is bananas to me. Yeah,
and I would, actually, I would really like to see Ben.
What hey, here's an idea, buddy, Why don't you go
up there and tell them you're not doing it.
Speaker 2: You're absolutely right.
Speaker 1: Okay, because you wouldn't do it. You wouldn't do it
for a second, because we saw you waffle up there
when they asked you if this was your best You
know your uh, your bark is bigger than your bite.
So let's not lash out at Daisy, Let's not lash
out at Alicia. Let's not have Ellie do. I don't
like how he treats women, is what I'm trying to say,
a little fucking weird.
Speaker 2: Well, it's out the first time we've seen that on
this show from a chef coming from the galley. But
I will say that being in the front lines of
service is absolutely the toughest position to be in. So
I feel for Daisy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, And we're no fans of Daisy.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: All right, so uh we get to a very rush
dinner with no Evan. First up, a cured flap of
red snapper with pepper and chini, straight from the jar.
I don't know what kind of palettes these people have,
but this was a disgusting meal first course.
Speaker 2: In the first course are in general in.
Speaker 1: General, but this first course was disgusting.
Speaker 2: Okay, I want you to go through every single course,
but I want to start with this. Sure, and I've
touched on this before, take pictures of your food.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, God, now I'm gonna break this down because you
could just say, oh, come on, it's you're on a trip.
But I really want to ask a person, Yeah, the
picture itself.
Speaker 1: Right right right right?
Speaker 2: If I can't imagine sitting next to someone weeks later
and they say, oh, you want on a trip, Oh
that's great, show me the sunset.
Speaker 1: Look at the flap of lime cured fish.
Speaker 2: I want to see how you set that up that
I will see that picture, so therefore that picture will
never be shown it.
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask that.
Speaker 2: I want to know what time of day do you
flip through your pictures to look at that dead fish
with the pepperccini on top of it and then stare
at it. You don't there is no reason to take
a picture of that fucking plate.
Speaker 1: Perhaps I am culinarily ignorant, though I don't think the
fans would accuse me of that. I don't want jarred
pickled peppers anywhere near a raw fish dish. It makes
no sense. I would sooner have a fucking piece of
American cheese. See what you do with it. I don't know.
This seems weird, but pepper and chini's on top of
this makes absolutely no sense. It's a car crash of
a dish twelve pots, also on a vessel this size
in the middle of the fucking ocean.
Speaker 2: There is no such thing culinary wise as five star.
Everything's in a fucking jar. There's a bunch of salt
to make it last five days. Nothing is five star. Now,
let me ask you this, what so unless you're a
fucking food blogger, put the goddamn camera down.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this. What's worse Someone showing you
a picture of their meal maybe three courses, or someone's
showing you a minute long video of a concert they
went to.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, those people, oh the people that hold
up there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a minute of Jack White shredding. But you can't
really it just sounds horrible because it's recorded on somebody's Android.
Speaker 2: You want to know, Yeah, it is always wow. That
solo sounds great. You want to know. The sadus thing
is the cheap seats. People that keep like with their
fingers spreading out the camera to zoom in and you
can tell they are literally eight thousand feet away from it.
It is so obscured and blurred that you're like, wow,
oh wow, you must add box seats. Wow, I could
see Santana's fingers. Oh wait, not.
Speaker 1: They're filming the monitors at the concert. But because you're
filming the monitor, it's that that it's that problem where
it's not syncing up with the camera. So it's just.
Speaker 2: Well, did you film this from your south West flight?
Speaker 1: From the window if you go, if you're lucky enough
to see serm in rome that the Pope is delivering it.
They have the Pope on all these screens, but because
they don't want people filming it. If you're trying to
film it, it's the screens are just going, hey, why.
Speaker 2: Hey, loser, I have better advice for you. Why don't
you rent their concert on HBO and then take a
picture of the TV.
Speaker 1: Or here's a good idea. Let's just put the phones away.
There you go, let's be present, all right, let's get
to the second course. It's ae cured oct to pus
with onion pearls and I think pickles or something. It
looked disgusting. People didn't like it.
Speaker 2: Jason did.
Speaker 1: The presentation was nice, and I didn't do my due
diligence on what this was. I'm gonna give it ninety
pots because of that. That's a failure on my part.
Third up, the fifteenth lobster spring roll of the season.
Speaker 2: Wow, what a surprise. I would I would argue one of.
Speaker 1: The guests that I'm gonna need another one. You've already
had so many.
Speaker 2: And no one thought mentioned, yeah, we've already had this.
Speaker 1: No, and the lobster spring roll sat upon and just
a gelatinously beautiful puddle of bottled sweet chili socks. This
is an eighteen year old at USC who wants to
get into cooking, serving his roommates a meal has been better,
has been Holy shit.
Speaker 2: I would have, just for me as a chef that
for my own self respect, I would have pulled this
out of the courses because it had already been served. Right.
Speaker 1: If you made sea rat lunch and it served a
lobster spring roll as many times as you have to
paying guests to sea rats, the sea rats would have
a problem with it. Mm hmm, okay we had yesterday. Yeah,
Mikey'd be like, hey, may, what's up with the loves
of spring rolls. We have had too many of these.
That's how he talks. All right, let's get to him
actually really quickly.
Speaker 2: I want to ask about the palette cleanser is okay?
Sorbet was it? It was a sorbet, uh, with a
little chocolate, little cakey thing.
Speaker 1: I believe that the so there there was if I
recall correct, And I don't know why, I always say
that it's from eastbounded down. There was this.
Speaker 2: Black card.
Speaker 1: I love, Yeah, what is it?
Speaker 2: It's amex an amex because uh, this gets you, Uh
this gets you front row at Jonas brothers. But this
card gets you all three Jonahs brothers sucking your car?
Who are you? I'm your dad kidding? Your dad's dead?
Speaker 1: Yeah, great show.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: Uh God, I love little Aaron. I'll fucking cut your
fucking teenies. All right, Okay, let's get back to it.
The palate cleanser with palate cleanser sorbet made with dark fruits,
stone fruits, perhaps nos berries. I never one to advocate
for anyone to stay in a mold, but if you're
going to break out of said mold, let's do it
with some cohesiveness and some vision. Okay, we're not cleansing
any palate with a mixed berry sorbet. If you want
to go palmello, that's something I haven't seen before, but
usually we're in a citrus realm right, We're not going
to do a mixed berry to cleanse the palate. That's
a dessert. That's a first dessert, and then we can
get to your fucking over baked apple and banadas. Okay,
seeping goo out of the poorly sealed crust disgusting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess someone hit McDonald's drive through.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my god. The Alex Jones memes,
I've just been going nuts. Have you seen them?
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: Alex Jones famously sat down with Patrick bet David and
he was asked to do quick fire words for famous politicians,
Better Or Rourke, Steve Bannon, the whole thing. But they've
taken it and they've applied it to lots of different aspects.
And one of them my favorites is they show different
McDonald's menu items and Alex Jones says, there are word
many times, so if that offends you, then don't watch them.
But apple pie comes up and he goes Trader Vampire
Trader anyways, check them out. Sorry, sorry, sorry, Okay, it's
just I've seen so many of them and they make
me laugh every time. Okay, I mean too hard on
this meal. Let's just break the fourth wall a little bit.
It was fine, Okay, I'm just having fun shitting on it.
Mixed berry is not a palate cleanser, though. Let's take
a quick break to talk about a marvelous sponsor.
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Speaker 2: What are you in the.
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Speaker 2: Up this week. They had pods in their fabric softener. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: God, oh oh oh. Does Australian sandal wood smell good?
Does Italian bergamot smell good?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? I don't deserve to smell that one.
Speaker 1: What about Egyptian rose?
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all right. Mikey is a gossipy little bird.
Speaker 2: I want to talk about him.
Speaker 1: He just goes up to Jenny. He's like, so, you
think you're done with Mikey or with with Eddie?
Speaker 2: You know what, I can stay out of this. He's
a world class wang wrecker. And he didn't know what
at the time what he was doing, but I think
he did. You don't do this, dude, bro code man
bro code.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Mikey, he deserved it.
Speaker 2: Eddie deserved it, But Mikey, you didn't need to help
him out ruining his life.
Speaker 1: M M all right. So let's get back to the
meal because there's so much more to break down. The
fifth course is a real bad trip. It is a
local mahi mahi served with some kind of orange puree,
and we've seen this spoon swipe technique. It's I think
Ben does a great job with it. But if you
follow the lion's tail to the southwest corner of the plate,
you'll find peace.
Speaker 2: I saw that.
Speaker 1: Okay. Now, obviously this is a callback to the filthy
fair served in the United Kingdom, right, fried fish with
mushy peas and stuff like that. But if we're going
to do this Caribbean kind of English fusion, we have
to stop. We have to think about the history of
colonization and how none of this works on the palate
and steer clear. Okay, we end with an apple and panada,
which I actually thought looked really really.
Speaker 2: DiscT You referred to it as a calzone.
Speaker 1: Cows Ugh, You're so right.
Speaker 2: I love that we dressed it up as a cow zone.
You're right, very creative calling something that.
Speaker 1: Oh God, when you think calzone, you think gut bust,
you think, uh, just a pound and a half of
racotta mazzarella sitting at the bottom of your stomach and
now you're turning on the Sopranos or whenever you watch
to go to sleep. Okay, an apple and panada an
apple I come up with. A calzone is not a
sexy name. Desserts are supposed to be light on their feet.
There's supposed to be a delicate kind of thing.
Speaker 2: He must have made that up right on the spot, right,
you know how when they do chopped, and those knuckleheads
have to come up with, well, this is a deconstructed
apple salad upside down right something, and I should.
Speaker 1: Desserts don't have to be light on their feet. There's
some that are light on their feet, and there are
some that are just proudly, you know, a gooey butter cake,
and that's fine too. Overall, I thought it was a lovely,
lovely and valiant effort coming out of a kitchen with
no oven and a sous chef that doesn't know how
to cook. I would say fish dominant, but lovely.
Speaker 2: Sixty four posts you fish dominate a lot of fish.
Speaker 1: After dinner, Mikey just goes to bed. Okay, And this
is when Ellie has a chat with Juwau about the
wine moment. Now Juao wants to feel wanted. He loves
feeling wanted, but we'll get to that later on in
the season. Caviar pizza is requested. It looks bad, and
when Alicia brings it up, they ask is that it
not a problem? Just asking if that's it. This is
what annoys me about these people. What are we doing
with that? You know, when you were talking about your
unresolved drama looking at the phone, That's what this is doing.
It's it's setting off these little anxiety waves that are
just completely unnecessarily better.
Speaker 2: Way to frame it. Hey, can we also have this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Alicia has a ton of stuff to do at night,
but there's a bit of an issue. Alisha goes to sleep,
just like Mikey. She just goes, yeah, I'm not doing
any of this.
Speaker 2: Well, she's stressed out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just got to talk to Harrison and lied to
them the next day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, And that's a big, big swing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Hey, remember when I told you I loved you, Well,
I'm just gonna start. You know, I was flirtatious, you know, Yeah, yeah,
well you know when I was gonna well anyway, I
flirt a little bit, but I love you and I
love you anyway. I gotta go. I'm gonna go out tonight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Harrison's like, what, sorry, you love me, but
you get that, You're We'll get to the conversation in
a minute. Alicia leaves.
Speaker 2: It's a mess.
Speaker 1: She leaves pizza out. Just just an absolute catastrophe out
on this.
Speaker 2: Someone who has to clean up a lot of parties
because the Hickeys throw a lot of parties. Here, grab
a big trash bag and you just walk around even
with that throat, carry around wineglass.
Speaker 1: Get have a have fun.
Speaker 2: Just start just throwing shit in the plastic bag.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Now, I love Jenna waking up in the morning
and just going up to Mikey and dressing him down.
Because she gets up, she goes, what the fuck is this? Hey, Mikey,
I got a question for you. What the fuck is this?
Jenna is? She's she's a serious operator. Now, Alisha gets
up and Daisy goes to her and says, hey, not
that thrilled about the job you did last night. What's
going on? And Alisha begins to break down in tears. Okay,
that's just emotional. Daisy recognizes, and I will give Daisy
all the credit in the world. Good man management is
knowing the kind of men you have to manage. Now,
sorry for saying this. Neither of these people are men,
but you get what I'm saying. I'm coming at it
from a soccer place. You have to as a manager
know the kinds of people you're working with. It's not
all square pegs and square hole.
Speaker 2: You have to adjust your management style to the psychopaths.
Speaker 1: Yes, let's get to breakfast. Hudson Valley. Duck Breast would
have been great last night. I don't know what this
is fucking doing at Wow, what's going on? I'm gonna
throw duck Breasted out for breakfast.
Speaker 2: I think he opened up the fridge and he looked
at the expiration day. He's like, fuck it, I gotta
cook this before it turns green.
Speaker 1: Chickpea spice cakes and omelets. What Doctor Seuss nightmare? Or
is this breakfast? He sends them off in confusion and
in style. The ladies leave and they were annoying, but
they were not that bad. Let's get to the comment
cards and the tip made well.
Speaker 2: Hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to say
this Next Day, New Day. You know what, that new
oven arrives and Ben he's still out that wedding deposit.
But you know what that fucking oven showed out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, came back to life.
Speaker 2: And Jenna is back on the Ben the Ben trip. Wow,
is it nice to see redemption?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see if it I mean I think the
balk and biscuits yelling at him next week.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we'll see that. We'll see what happens there,
all right, So tip for twenty eight thousand dollars. Wow,
big one.
Speaker 2: You can say, uh like little pithy things under your
breath if you're gonna tip me twenty one hundred bucks.
Ya ya ya YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA.
Speaker 1: YadA, ya ya YadA, YadA YadA, Yeah, yah yahd Okay,
Alisha should smile more.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you she did something. They weren't feeling some
of it. They hated her because of that.
Speaker 1: Alicia gets the helmet now the kitchen.
Speaker 2: By the way, Captain Jason didn't even address it with her.
No okay, no good.
Speaker 1: Alisha. If there's if there's one person that would get
the helmet, I'd say it's here because it looked like
a Wild Will two battlefield on the table last night.
You just went to sleep, so you're gonna be getting
the helmet. Kitchen is a fucking nightmare, and so is Ben.
There's probably three to four hours worth of work here.
Speaker 2: Do you think so I could wrap that up in
an hour. I was a dishwasher, you think.
Speaker 1: I think Ben's very lucky to have somebody like the
Balkan Biscuit who had bombs dropped on her when she
was a child. She had if he had alisia, Staring
at this amount of work would freeze people. You have
to just move towards something when you have this much
shit to do, and the Balkan Biscuit is that kind
of bit.
Speaker 2: Well, let me say this to Ben. Understood, there's sometimes
there's problems when you're too good at something. Ben recognized
that the Balkan Biscuit is very good and will it
is a hard worker, so he took advantage of it. Honestly, Yep,
you gotta be sometimes you got to show that you
could be a little mediocre.
Speaker 1: Yea, he went upstairs, took a Libyan dictator bath.
Speaker 2: He did that sound of a beck. Yeah. Well, I
will say this though. Let me defend Ben here, because
I've been hard on him the first quarter of the season.
Takes a warm bath, big, poor in.
Speaker 1: The Oh that's perfect temperature.
Speaker 2: Big, that's right, dear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a that was a fucking wine mom.
Speaker 2: Poor, Let's oh bit time, of course, she gets in.
Speaker 1: That Van Sharon's teeth are purple.
Speaker 2: Don't forget the z actually took. But in Ben's defense,
after the hard work that he did do, regardless of
what you think about the meal or the beals, he
served the tip, the tip solely rested on his shoulders.
Let me uh, let me break it down. Did the
guests use the water toys? Did the guests go scuba diving?
Did they go shopping in the city?
Speaker 1: Did they have it for anything? They're the only thing
you can purchase is feral dogs and you don't even have.
Speaker 2: To or they'll bite you and then you die of
rabies or turn into Azobbie. Did they do a stupid
theme party and require choreography from sea rats? No Ah,
it was They ate food, lots of it. He gets
to drink red wine like Mariah Carey. He did everything.
Speaker 1: Hello on the type, keep fading me. You serve them
six spring rolls? What are we talking about?
Speaker 2: Fine? But he gets to do it. He did all
the work.
Speaker 1: Alicia calls her boyfriend and says, any to tell this
is what she said? She goes, you be Alicia's boyfriend?
Speaker 2: Okay, Hey, where have you been? Hey?
Speaker 1: Honey? I just want to tell you sorry that I
haven't spoken in four days. You know, I love you, right, yeah,
I thank you, love me? Yeah, No, I love you
a lot, and I just have to tell you that
there are some things that I need to talk to
you about.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I was thinking about, Like, is anything
going on?
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot has been going on. And you know
that I love you well yeah, but you also know
that I'm flirty. Yeah you said that, But that's why
I wanted to talk to you about how there have
been some situations where I've handled them. Yeah, all right,
love you, honey. I'll talk to you later. I gotta go, hey, hey, Hello,
what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Hello?
Speaker 1: Yeah? She really knows he so poor Harrison, My good.
Speaker 2: I would dump her ass right there. I'd call back production.
I'd be like, I call Bravo. Can I speak to
someone on Blowdock?
Speaker 1: Yeah? All right. I think that we're going to have
Alisia on the show soon. So what you know I'm
going to have her well, I know, listen what cal
balls and strikes where I'm excited to talk to her the.
Speaker 2: Way A good opportunity to join our Facebook group, another
below Deck podcast or bad TV get in there. If
you have a question for Alicia, Lisa, Alicia, Alicia, Yeah,
I don't know. Say anyway, get in there and ask
a question for her. We might have her on next week.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what, I just broke my rule, you
never never.
Speaker 2: I feel good about this one.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the White party. The triangle's back. Jenna
is feeding Eddie pasta, and Eddie is still kind of
doing this thing where he's trying to I don't understand
what he's doing. He texted Alicia. I would drop her
in a second to be an alien with you in
the moon. And now he's eating pasta and looking over
at Alicia. What what are we doing here? What is
this makes no sense? And then uh yeah yeah. So
so from the angle of how to close ask for
no money? What is what is Eddie's fault here?
Speaker 2: Focus on work, pay attention to neither of them?
Speaker 1: I mean really, okay, yeah, cross your fingers, right, Okay,
so if you focus on your duty, yeah, that's attractive
to win, the duty will come yes, right, Okay, got
it now. Jason heads to the restaurant.
Speaker 2: By the way, this had to have pissed him off.
I don't think for a second that he saw that
the disco helmet was there. Production tipped him off. I
noticed when she left in this Alicia, I can't wait
to talk to you. If we get talked to you,
what are you doing? You mentioned it?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm saying to Alicia, what are you
doing leaving behind?
Speaker 2: It's so crazy, it's vanity. She didn't want to ruin
her hair. She wanted to look hot. Oh but everyone
else that has been doing this show for a number
of years has always worn the helmet. Yeah, I get it.
You want to go out, you wear it for dinner,
you wear it to the club, then you take it
off and you can dance your ass off.
Speaker 1: It's a Kindergarten litmus test of a small societal cohesion. Okay,
this is a group of sea rats. We have a
couple of rules. You have to do your job. You
have to wear the helmet if it's given to you.
You can drink as much as you want, you can
puke up in your room, you can do whatever you want.
You just have to do your job. And you have
to bring the helmet back, and you gotta wear the helmet.
For Alicia to not wear the helmet out, she's showing
to the other sea rats, I'm not here to play. Okay,
this is not good. I don't I'm calling it right now.
Alicia's getting fired. It's either going to be a batol
or who's not in the show. She's not on the show,
or Alicia. I would say that Alicia is probably gonna
get fired. I don't know. I think so. So let's
get to and I know, and let's talk about the
tool for a minute. Don't do this. Don't do this.
Speaker 2: We can't.
Speaker 1: There's really no excuse in casting. You can't cast someone
who just doesn't make it on the show. You you've
done such a bad job there, and I understand what
you were attempting to do here, but let's not do
that here, right, Let's just have people who are gonna
mix it up on the show. This was never gonna
work out. He's a sweetheart, but no, well yeah, we're
not saying that she's not a lovely person. We get to.
Speaker 2: Well my dinner, Yeah, all right, so this is where
Jenna does. There was some weird editing here because there's
dinner plates in front of everybody, and then they show
Jenna go like, I'm out of here. I'm gonna go
next to Ben, but there were no plates there, so
that obviously some time had lapsed. Jenna goes over, hangs
out with Ben, gets pretty flirty with him. I think
he's smacking her on the ass. He tells her she's
hot like eighteen times. He's obviously not read the early
versions chapters. I put out that the New York Times
had published about cracking the code, because you don't tell
a woman she's hot like eighteen times. No, you say
it like once, but.
Speaker 1: You say you're beautiful hot and then smack him on
the ass with a rolling pin. Right, that's not right. Okay,
So we get to the club. There's a feral cat
this time. That was good. A couple of things happening,
Ben and Jenna. He's a romantic Daisy is starting to
warm up to breaking her code that she's never not broken.
Speaker 2: That's right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's gonna t.
Speaker 1: And then Mikey tries to hook up with Ellie again.
I don't know what this is, a little bit like
I don't know, uh, Tom trying to get Jerry.
Speaker 2: He just never does, you know, he never ever does, Mikey.
Speaker 1: So Mikey, Yeah, we wish all the luck in the world.
We get into the Vands and Eddie and Jenna have
a blacked out kind of confrontation wherein Eddie tries to
continue to open his opportunity to get in Jenna's pants,
and Jenna, with a fucking full hang grenade in a
styrofoam cup, still has the composure despite blowing a one
point seven to go, hey, no, you're disgusting. It's not
gonna happen, and he tries to lie to her. He goes,
this is how wasteed he is. He goes. She goes,
I saw the text. I saw you say that you
would drop me in a second. He goes, I never
said that I love South Africans. She goes, fucking get
away from me. Meanwhile, Batool is sleeping mad casting. That's
it for us, John and the Honest. Let us know.
We thought about the episode of A Great Rest of
Your Week, Love is Blinded Patreon, Summer House of Patreon,
Bachelor Coming, and a good day to you I'm doing.
Say goodbye, pat Say goodbye, Hayleen.