WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:09.400 This is Pod Popular Podcast for the People, The Great 2 00:00:09.720 --> 00:00:15.439 Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. 3 00:00:16.359 --> 00:00:17.920 It's a Great Love Debate. 4 00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:21.800 Hi again everyone, It's Brian Howie. Welcome to The Great 5 00:00:22.120 --> 00:00:25.199 Love Debate, the world's number one dating and relationship podcast 6 00:00:25.239 --> 00:00:28.320 since twenty fifteen. I am here in the very fine 7 00:00:28.359 --> 00:00:31.399 studios of Pod Popular Podcast. 8 00:00:31.079 --> 00:00:33.759 For the People. I am at the one in Boca Raton, Florida. 9 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:36.320 The weather is. 10 00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:45.719 Deep, jungle, humid, Jurassic Park disgusting, but you know, brighter 11 00:00:45.799 --> 00:00:48.159 days ahead, I suppose. Thank you for all the feedback, 12 00:00:48.200 --> 00:00:50.439 the people who gave me the the feedback on the 13 00:00:50.439 --> 00:00:54.000 show we did in London, which I really enjoyed doing. 14 00:00:54.359 --> 00:00:55.799 I know I'm gonna talk about that for a long time, 15 00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:57.520 how much I like London. But I'm back in Boca, 16 00:00:57.560 --> 00:00:59.759 which most of the year is very very nice now. 17 00:00:59.799 --> 00:01:02.840 As I always say, two things on this show. One 18 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:05.040 is we are always trying to sell hope, and we've 19 00:01:05.079 --> 00:01:06.519 done a lot of podcasts. 20 00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:08.760 In the last year that were a little less than hopeful. 21 00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:11.879 We did some divorce stuff, we did some breakup stuff, 22 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.799 we did some the world is hard stuff or whatever. 23 00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:19.319 So I wanted to do something that I think is 24 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:22.840 a little more hopeful today. I'm bringing my guest in 25 00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:28.079 a second. My longtime producer of this show, the two 26 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:30.959 time Emery Award winning Kiko, used to always say to me, 27 00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:34.439 everybody thinks they can do my job. And I was 28 00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:37.640 always like, yeah, people say that to me too. 29 00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:38.079 You know. 30 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:40.079 There was a point where when we were on the 31 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:42.000 Great Love to Bay tour about the second year in 32 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:46.840 we were trying to find different people to host the 33 00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:49.359 show and have this going on all over the place 34 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:51.519 in the country at the same time, because it was 35 00:01:51.599 --> 00:01:53.200 really hard on me to get to every city and 36 00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:56.120 host it. And so we actually spent a summer sort 37 00:01:56.120 --> 00:01:59.439 of in Chicago auditioning people to do what I do, 38 00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:03.200 and we couldn't find them, and I wanted to find them, 39 00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:05.319 and my manager at the time said, Okay, it's no 40 00:02:05.400 --> 00:02:07.120 longer the Great Love Debate, It's now the Great Love 41 00:02:07.120 --> 00:02:09.560 Debate with Brian Howie. And I was like, good fuck, 42 00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:11.319 Now I have to do it the whole time. You know, 43 00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:13.439 you kind of have to really be curious about this stuff, 44 00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:16.120 and you really kind of have to want to have 45 00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:17.039 these conversations. 46 00:02:17.080 --> 00:02:18.919 So why I bring that up? 47 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:21.000 Everybody can do my job, which she said, and she's 48 00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:24.840 a big time reality television producer. Is that my guest 49 00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:27.879 here is currently has a job that I think is 50 00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:33.560 one of the most challenging jobs that you could possibly 51 00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:39.280 have because the risk reward on it so much can 52 00:02:39.319 --> 00:02:41.840 go wrong, and if it goes right, it's almost like 53 00:02:41.879 --> 00:02:43.360 there's disaster or relief. 54 00:02:43.960 --> 00:02:45.360 There's a very view. And I say that a lot. 55 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:47.280 When I used to do live theater, people used to be. 56 00:02:47.240 --> 00:02:49.159 Like, oh my god, are you so excited it's opening night. 57 00:02:49.159 --> 00:02:51.759 I'm like, no, it's disaster or relief. You sort of 58 00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:54.439 get through it anyway. She is the host of the 59 00:02:54.919 --> 00:02:57.840 Wedding Buzz podcast, which you should check out. She has 60 00:02:57.879 --> 00:02:59.719 a lot to think of things to say about sort 61 00:02:59.719 --> 00:03:02.360 of the philosophy about what we're trying to do on 62 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:05.360 our wedding day and beyond, especially from the bride's point 63 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:08.319 of view. She's a fairly recent bride herself. I believe 64 00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:09.639 Sidney Whitten, how are you. 65 00:03:09.879 --> 00:03:11.800 Hi, I'm good, Thank you for having me on. 66 00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:14.759 Everybody always thinks that, oh my god, I could plan weddings. 67 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:15.719 No you couldn't. 68 00:03:18.719 --> 00:03:22.400 It's the most important day of or at least in 69 00:03:22.439 --> 00:03:25.280 the conversation for the most important day of at least one, 70 00:03:25.319 --> 00:03:29.879 maybe both of their lives. It's such a high wire act, 71 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:34.439 filled with stress, filled with visions that are hard to 72 00:03:34.439 --> 00:03:37.840 pull off, filled with your trying to capture a feeling 73 00:03:37.960 --> 00:03:41.280 that is tough for her to even eloquently enunciate, you 74 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:43.360 to plan it out. What made you even want to 75 00:03:43.400 --> 00:03:44.000 get into. 76 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:44.639 A racket like this? 77 00:03:45.719 --> 00:03:47.599 You know? I kind of fell into it. I was 78 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:52.520 at Einstein Bigel's freshman year of college, sitting with my 79 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:54.479 friend who was engaged, and we were talking about her 80 00:03:54.479 --> 00:03:57.479 wedding and she was in that like, oh, we could 81 00:03:57.560 --> 00:04:00.120 do this, and I could do that, and like all 82 00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:02.479 this stuff, and I was asking questions, well, how is 83 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:04.120 this going to happen? And how is this going to happen? 84 00:04:04.120 --> 00:04:06.159 And she looked at me and was like, you should 85 00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:09.759 be a wedding planner. And at eighteen, I didn't even 86 00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:13.840 know that that was a career people had, And so 87 00:04:13.919 --> 00:04:17.319 I looked into it and realized that at my college 88 00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:22.240 the hospitality program had an event management concentration. And I 89 00:04:22.279 --> 00:04:24.839 got a job with a wedding planner and switch my 90 00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:27.360 major and just kind of dove into it. So I 91 00:04:27.480 --> 00:04:29.199 kind of she was like, you should do this, and 92 00:04:29.240 --> 00:04:31.600 then I realized, well, maybe. 93 00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:33.399 I really should do And so your impression of what 94 00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:36.199 that was versus the reality of what it is, what 95 00:04:36.399 --> 00:04:38.360 is the what is the difference? If there's anything A 96 00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:39.680 lot of people think it's like, oh, I could pick 97 00:04:39.720 --> 00:04:42.240 flowers and collars and patterns, and it's. 98 00:04:42.199 --> 00:04:45.680 You know what's funny is that? Like I remember, like 99 00:04:45.720 --> 00:04:48.720 the first wedding, I was like, oh, like this is 100 00:04:48.759 --> 00:04:49.519 a production. 101 00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:52.480 Like yeah, you're a producer. Yeah, that's exactly what you are. 102 00:04:52.639 --> 00:04:55.920 Yeah, And like now I'm a bit older, I have 103 00:04:56.040 --> 00:04:58.000 been married, a lot of my friends have been married. 104 00:04:58.040 --> 00:05:00.959 I've been a bride, and I've been on every weddings, 105 00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:04.240 so I understand it. But back then I it was 106 00:05:04.439 --> 00:05:06.160 I remember the first wedding, I was just like whoa, 107 00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:09.399 Like it's a production, but I also loved it. I 108 00:05:09.800 --> 00:05:12.360 didn't have a concrete thing of what I wanted to 109 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:16.199 do when I grow up. I am a girly girl. 110 00:05:16.319 --> 00:05:20.040 I love glitz, glamor or whatever. I also at the time, 111 00:05:20.279 --> 00:05:21.680 like I played guitar and I sing, and so I 112 00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:23.120 was like, I want to be Taylor Swift, but that 113 00:05:23.279 --> 00:05:25.959 was not going to happen. So I saw these weddings 114 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:29.680 as like, but I also love business, and so you're like, well. 115 00:05:29.560 --> 00:05:30.920 I could be the music at your wedding. 116 00:05:32.360 --> 00:05:36.160 Maybe not the music, but you know, it's a whole production. 117 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:37.439 But I also fell in love with it. At the 118 00:05:37.439 --> 00:05:40.319 same time, I was like, whoa, I can you know, 119 00:05:40.759 --> 00:05:45.879 bring my business skills and like my organization and logistics 120 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:48.959 into something that is girly and fun and pretty. 121 00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:51.720 You are every wedding I think you. 122 00:05:52.360 --> 00:05:55.120 From a wedding planner's perspective is you have to solve 123 00:05:55.240 --> 00:06:00.839 a puzzle. And this puzzle involves their personality. It involves 124 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:03.519 a lot of moving parts in terms of friends and 125 00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:04.480 family and what you're doing. 126 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:06.560 It has a lot of to do with venue and. 127 00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:11.399 Certainly cost making people's dreams happen when no matter how 128 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:14.160 wealthy you are, there's budget limitations and you have to 129 00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:15.480 break the news to them like you. 130 00:06:15.959 --> 00:06:18.680 We probably can't, this is what that will cost. 131 00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:21.800 And then there's you don't want to disappoint them because 132 00:06:21.800 --> 00:06:23.519 you're trying to give them the feeling of the dream. 133 00:06:24.319 --> 00:06:26.160 That has to be something that's challenging to learn, no 134 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:27.519 matter how long you've been doing it. 135 00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:30.279 Yeah, it is, it is, and and you know, the 136 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:34.639 budget is never a fun conversation, especially these days. We 137 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:37.480 live in such a com at what's the word comparative 138 00:06:37.519 --> 00:06:40.000 that's not a word, but anyway, like everyone compares, is 139 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:44.199 it word? A comparative culture where you're seeing these weddings 140 00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:47.199 on social media and everyone thinks like I can have that, 141 00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:51.000 And it's a harsh reality of what you think online 142 00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:55.959 looks like a forty thousand dollars wedding is truly over 143 00:06:56.000 --> 00:07:00.279 one hundred thousand dollars and beyond, like, yeah, what people 144 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:03.519 might think is like an average wedding is so much 145 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:07.920 more expensive than people think. And it is tough because 146 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:10.480 you don't want to break the bank on a wedding. 147 00:07:10.519 --> 00:07:13.079 It's just one day. It's one big party. You don't 148 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:14.839 want to go into debt and stuff over it. But 149 00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:17.560 on the flip side, it's your one wedding day. So 150 00:07:17.720 --> 00:07:18.759 finding that balance is. 151 00:07:18.680 --> 00:07:21.040 A little tricky and a lot of times not stereotype, 152 00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:22.680 but that's what we do here at the Great Love Debate. 153 00:07:25.079 --> 00:07:26.920 This is the most important day for the bride. A 154 00:07:26.920 --> 00:07:29.079 lot of time, this is the destination. The man are 155 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.000 kind of like, okay, I want to start the marriage, 156 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:34.600 but a lot of times she has dreamt of this day. Yes, 157 00:07:34.759 --> 00:07:37.240 since she was a young girl. Her wedding day is 158 00:07:37.399 --> 00:07:41.040 her day, and I respect that totally and to not 159 00:07:41.240 --> 00:07:42.879 have that day in the way you want it, That's 160 00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:44.879 what was one of the challenges with COVID for a 161 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:47.560 couple of years, Like people are like, we're engaged, our 162 00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:50.040 wedding's canceled, do we have asset? 163 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:51.959 Do we put people in masks? Do we not do it? 164 00:07:52.040 --> 00:07:53.199 Do we wait two years? 165 00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:56.839 Like that had to be really challenging and blow up 166 00:07:56.839 --> 00:08:00.079 a lot of dreams I think for people, right, Yeah, I. 167 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:02.920 Mean it is challenging and there's not a perfect like 168 00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:06.199 kind of like what you were saying with theater. I mean, 169 00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:08.920 like I said, I play guitar, so I've done like 170 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.680 shows and it's it's kind of a make or break. 171 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:14.120 It's either gonna happen great or not. And if it 172 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:18.279 doesn't go well, it just didn't. That performance didn't go well. 173 00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:21.079 And your job is to try and think of one 174 00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:25.160 hundred possible things that could go wrong, yes, and if 175 00:08:25.160 --> 00:08:27.120 you're lucky, you get ninety percent of them right, and 176 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:29.879 you get just get some luck. It's preparation and luck, 177 00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:31.839 hoping it makes it up and a lot of things 178 00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:34.480 can happen. I said on this podcast a few months 179 00:08:34.519 --> 00:08:39.840 ago about how my cousin was just hungover from the 180 00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:42.120 rehearsal dinner the night forty you just fainted on the 181 00:08:42.159 --> 00:08:44.440 altar like that, but just put a damper on things. 182 00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:47.080 And I remember the wedding planners there had to leap 183 00:08:47.080 --> 00:08:49.840 into action with some quick music and some entertainment, Like 184 00:08:50.200 --> 00:08:52.639 you have to be prepared for this happened. You have 185 00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:55.519 to be prepared for the flowers weren't exactly what she wanted. 186 00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:58.399 You have to be prepared for too many people, too 187 00:08:58.440 --> 00:08:59.279 few people cancel. 188 00:08:59.320 --> 00:09:01.519 All these kind of things can go wrong, and you're 189 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:05.919 in the eye of the blame. They're entrusting you with 190 00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:08.159 their dream and their money, and you got. 191 00:09:07.960 --> 00:09:09.039 To hit that bull's eye. 192 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:10.720 Yeah, I feel like. 193 00:09:10.679 --> 00:09:13.919 I'm stressing you out talking about like I'm going to 194 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:16.440 go back into some other job. Yeah I quit. 195 00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:19.960 No, you're right, you're right, And I think that it 196 00:09:20.039 --> 00:09:23.159 is just our job to think of all these things, 197 00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:25.440 and you know there is no perfect but there are 198 00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:30.080 things that you can do to prepare yourself well. For example, 199 00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:34.320 like the timeline. I overestimate everything. I like an hour 200 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:37.039 and a half cocktail hour. You know, give people food, 201 00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:39.399 they're okay for an hour and a half. They don't 202 00:09:39.559 --> 00:09:42.080 realize as long as they have food and drinks, they 203 00:09:42.120 --> 00:09:43.840 won't realize that it's an hour and a half instead 204 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:47.080 of an hour. But that gives you some wiggle room. 205 00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:49.799 It gives you some time, you know, like overestimate how 206 00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:52.000 long things are going to take. Of course, not too long, 207 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:54.559 because you don't want the day to drag, but by 208 00:09:54.600 --> 00:09:58.080 giving yourself that little wiggle room when something pops up 209 00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:01.320 an uh oh, it's you know what, we have ten 210 00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:04.440 minutes in the schedule, so we're okay, We're okay, let's 211 00:10:04.440 --> 00:10:08.440 figure it out because we have this time. I always 212 00:10:08.559 --> 00:10:13.360 like packing, like the way that I suggest people pack 213 00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:16.519 pack things for every event kind of separately, so that 214 00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:20.240 you have your little like emergency kits right ready to go. 215 00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:23.360 So it's of course there's always gonna there might be 216 00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:25.200 an uh oh or something, but at least it's not 217 00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:30.320 like uh oh, and we have no no supplies, no backup. 218 00:10:30.360 --> 00:10:33.399 Planet's hey, we have this kit, let me go grab it. 219 00:10:33.759 --> 00:10:34.679 We're gonna be okay. 220 00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:37.600 What is the proper amount of time you bring up 221 00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:42.759 timelines from the time somebody meets with you, are most 222 00:10:42.759 --> 00:10:45.000 of them like we're getting married in nine months or 223 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:45.840 is it two months? 224 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:47.519 Or is it all over the boards that two years? 225 00:10:47.559 --> 00:10:50.720 What this is is that venue specific sometimes like we 226 00:10:50.759 --> 00:10:52.200 want to get married here, and it's like good luck. 227 00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:56.639 I think it's it's something that I I think it's 228 00:10:56.679 --> 00:10:59.039 funny that I can't put a number on it because 229 00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:02.399 it's so different. I think it depends on kind of 230 00:11:02.440 --> 00:11:05.519 the budget of the wedding. Smaller budgets a lot of 231 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:08.440 the time are more quick, casual, let's just get it 232 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:11.039 done and Okay, we can whip this together in three 233 00:11:11.159 --> 00:11:16.440 four months. Bigger budgets often are aligned with brides who 234 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:20.320 want things to be a certain way, and that takes time, 235 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.200 so it really vvery It's funny. I did a wedding 236 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:26.320 exbo a couple weeks ago, and I ask every bride 237 00:11:26.360 --> 00:11:28.200 that comes, when is your wedding and when did you 238 00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:31.240 get engaged? What's your timeline here? And it just I 239 00:11:31.320 --> 00:11:34.679 get everything from like, my wedding is in October, can 240 00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:37.600 you help us out to my wedding is October of 241 00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:38.840 twenty twenty five. 242 00:11:39.240 --> 00:11:42.000 Yeah, Well, a lot of people are waiting on the 243 00:11:42.360 --> 00:11:44.559 perfect venue there's a lot of really fantastic venues in 244 00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:46.559 this part of the world. But then you're dealing with 245 00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:49.480 weather at certain times of the year. You know you 246 00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:51.480 can go get you know, try and book the breakers 247 00:11:51.559 --> 00:11:53.559 up in Palm Beach or Addison here in book of 248 00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:55.840 Ratone or the Bulk or Retone Resort or something like that. 249 00:11:55.879 --> 00:11:57.919 You got to hit the right day and the right 250 00:11:57.960 --> 00:11:58.720 time and all that. 251 00:11:59.559 --> 00:12:04.600 The biggest uh. I don't think negotiation is the word, 252 00:12:04.600 --> 00:12:05.960 but maybe is the food? 253 00:12:06.279 --> 00:12:09.519 Is the DJ versus band? 254 00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:09.960 Is it? 255 00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:13.320 What is the thing that that is the biggest part 256 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:14.120 of negotiation? 257 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:14.519 Is it? 258 00:12:14.559 --> 00:12:17.279 What are we serving? Cocktail hour? Location? 259 00:12:17.360 --> 00:12:17.639 What is it? 260 00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:19.480 It's funny because it depends on are you talking to 261 00:12:19.480 --> 00:12:20.600 the bride? Are you talking to the groom? 262 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:23.960 I think I'm talking to the bride. Maybe I'm talking 263 00:12:23.960 --> 00:12:25.240 to the father of the bride. 264 00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:25.799 I don't know. 265 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:29.120 I can tell you father of the bride and groom 266 00:12:29.399 --> 00:12:34.000 usually care about food and bar, and the bride often 267 00:12:34.039 --> 00:12:37.200 cares about the pretty of what are the flowers? 268 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:37.600 Flowers? 269 00:12:37.799 --> 00:12:38.840 What's this gonna look like? 270 00:12:40.159 --> 00:12:42.480 The aesthetic father is usually budget. 271 00:12:42.600 --> 00:12:44.559 I mean, we're being super stereotypical. 272 00:12:44.759 --> 00:12:46.120 That's what we do here. Well, I'm gonna be even 273 00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:47.000 more stereotypical. 274 00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:50.039 I can't tell you how many guys are upset about 275 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:54.519 fall weddings because it falls on college football Saturdays. 276 00:12:53.919 --> 00:12:56.240 Which is a really big deal to a lot of people, 277 00:12:56.360 --> 00:12:57.440 especially in this part of the world. 278 00:12:57.600 --> 00:13:00.919 Yeah, for sure. I mean ye that my husband is 279 00:13:00.919 --> 00:13:03.360 one of those guys that would be devastated if we 280 00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:03.840 had to go to a. 281 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:05.759 Wedding and then they're watching on their phone or they're 282 00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:06.759 in the bar on the TV. 283 00:13:06.879 --> 00:13:08.960 It's like go Buck guys or whatever their team is 284 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:10.840 and it and the bride is like, this is my 285 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:12.080 day day. 286 00:13:12.440 --> 00:13:16.559 Yeah. The one thing that like I kind of suggest 287 00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:19.320 to people is like, if your spouse isn't super into 288 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:24.279 the planning, don't make them be you know, include them 289 00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:27.000 in some things and like ask them like, hey, this 290 00:13:27.080 --> 00:13:30.519 means a lot to me, please participate. But like if 291 00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:32.559 they're just if it's just not their thing and they're 292 00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:34.159 saying you like you know, honey, like. 293 00:13:34.279 --> 00:13:38.000 You pick right then, And there's a fine line between 294 00:13:38.039 --> 00:13:41.759 showing support and showing indifference. Yes, and you have to 295 00:13:41.799 --> 00:13:45.080 be like, what, I support everything you want, run anything 296 00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:47.360 by me. I'll give you my ideas if you want them. 297 00:13:47.360 --> 00:13:48.919 But I want you to have the freedom to create 298 00:13:48.919 --> 00:13:50.639 the day that you want to day, and that's it. 299 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:52.799 I think that's reasonable. A lot of guys aren't very 300 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:54.200 good at having that conversation, no. 301 00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:57.039 And I agree. There are some guys that are probably 302 00:13:57.039 --> 00:13:58.919 not very nice about it. And then there are some 303 00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:03.360 brides that are probably like way overboard of wanting him 304 00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:05.639 to be as excited. And I think just because he's 305 00:14:05.639 --> 00:14:07.679 not as excited about the flowers doesn't mean that he's 306 00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:08.799 not excited to marry. 307 00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:12.120 You, right, Because like I said earlier, he's like, let's 308 00:14:12.159 --> 00:14:13.720 get to the honeymoon. 309 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:16.159 My husband wanted to get married at bass Pro shops 310 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:22.600 and so it's like, I love shops and he was serious. 311 00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:25.559 I mean, it's a great place under the bear. So 312 00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:28.320 the one in Island Marata in the Keys, yeah, actually 313 00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:30.600 has like a little beach front and they do weddings 314 00:14:30.600 --> 00:14:32.679 and it is pretty. It is pretty. No hate on 315 00:14:32.720 --> 00:14:35.720 bass Pro, but that was not my vision for the day, right. 316 00:14:35.799 --> 00:14:37.639 And the thing is, it's like I could have kept 317 00:14:37.639 --> 00:14:38.879 asking him like, what do you think, what do you think? 318 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:41.600 He honestly, that's what he wanted, and he wanted to 319 00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:43.840 walk down the aisle to the James Bond theme song, 320 00:14:44.519 --> 00:14:48.799 and so like I I couldn't keep asking him what 321 00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:51.759 he wanted because that's what he wanted and it was 322 00:14:51.799 --> 00:14:54.679 not gonna happen. So but he also at the same 323 00:14:54.679 --> 00:14:57.639 time was like, it's okay, babe, just you you pick 324 00:14:57.720 --> 00:14:58.879 what you want. 325 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:05.120 Right how Again another stereotype, generally speaking, does the father 326 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:06.679 of the bride write the check? 327 00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:12.200 Often? Yes? Often? Yeah, often, yes, of course, there's so 328 00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:14.759 many other situations. 329 00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:17.080 Yeah, it's tough when two young people are trying to 330 00:15:17.080 --> 00:15:19.639 pay for their own wedding. That is a hard thing too, 331 00:15:19.720 --> 00:15:21.799 because they want to give it and you don't want 332 00:15:21.799 --> 00:15:23.159 to just have a bullet chips. 333 00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:24.639 Yeah, you kind of want to. 334 00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:28.159 There's always people who unfortunately don't have a good relationship 335 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:33.720 with their father, or some people if they're later in life, 336 00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:36.480 they might be more successful than their parents are, and 337 00:15:36.519 --> 00:15:38.480 so they end up paying for their own wedding. Yeah, 338 00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:40.440 that's true, like asking their parents. 339 00:15:40.519 --> 00:15:44.519 My dad, who had a fair amount of money, my 340 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:48.840 sister who had a giant, ridiculous wedding. My dad drew 341 00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:51.320 the line at the champagne toast. He's like, I'm not 342 00:15:51.320 --> 00:15:53.120 paying for people to take one sip and put it 343 00:15:53.159 --> 00:15:55.519 down and that is like fifteen grand worth of champagne 344 00:15:55.559 --> 00:15:58.000 or whatever. He is no, and she freaked out. They 345 00:15:58.000 --> 00:15:59.480 had a huge fight about it. He's like, they can 346 00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:00.919 have the one, they could take a sip of whatever. 347 00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:03.559 Their beverage is not paying for it. And I thought, 348 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:06.440 like drawn a line there. Yeah, it's four hunder people 349 00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:08.080 at his wedding. That's where he's like, I'm not paying 350 00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:08.320 for that. 351 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:12.879 Maybe champagne. No that I mean, honestly, when we're talking budget, 352 00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:15.440 that is a common thing of like if you can go, 353 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:18.200 if you're okay with not having the champagne toast, like 354 00:16:18.279 --> 00:16:20.279 just do a toast with whatever drink they had right, 355 00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:23.080 so much champagne gets dumped at the end of it. 356 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:23.399 It does. 357 00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.840 I agree, all right, well, we have to pay for 358 00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:28.240 things like champagne toasts around here. So I'm here with 359 00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:31.440 Sydney Whitten. She's the host of the wedding Buzz. We're 360 00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:36.440 talking about happily ever after, I think, but I gotta 361 00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:38.399 take a quicker break and we will be back right 362 00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:39.360 after this. 363 00:16:43.320 --> 00:16:44.440 And we are back now. 364 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:47.440 I'm not gonna you know, you have been doing this 365 00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:50.279 that long. You have been doing this for thirty five years, 366 00:16:50.279 --> 00:16:53.279 but have you run into a situation where you're like, oh, 367 00:16:53.399 --> 00:16:58.000 these people probably shouldn't even be getting married, or they're 368 00:16:58.120 --> 00:17:00.480 just everything is a fight and you're like this doesn't 369 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:01.000 bode well. 370 00:17:01.080 --> 00:17:04.839 Or now, of course you have those few they're just 371 00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:07.240 like hmm, like how is this gonna go. The one 372 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:09.200 thing that I don't know if they were like weren't 373 00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:12.640 meant to be, but it kind of made me sad 374 00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:16.759 is we did this. This moment actually made me decide 375 00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:19.039 not to do a first look at my wedding. I like, 376 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:21.400 in that moment was like I'm not I'm not doing 377 00:17:21.400 --> 00:17:24.119 a first look. We did the first look and he was, 378 00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:29.319 you know, happy to see her, and then as we're 379 00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:32.039 like walking back inside, he was like, all right, so 380 00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:34.359 we did this, like what do I do with the ceremony? 381 00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:37.079 And I was like what do you mean? He's like, 382 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:39.079 I don't know, Like I was supposed to look excited 383 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:41.440 when I saw her. Now I did, and then at 384 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:43.519 the ceremony like what am I supposed to do? Then 385 00:17:43.559 --> 00:17:48.720 I'm like fake it? Yeah, cry again, like be happy, 386 00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:53.440 like I don't know, and so I don't. Hopefully they're 387 00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:55.680 still together and everything's great. 388 00:17:55.559 --> 00:18:00.279 But I just was like where do you what's the first. 389 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.559 Which thing you you figure out venue, amount of guests, 390 00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:06.759 budget of obviously both, Yeah. 391 00:18:06.599 --> 00:18:10.160 So I I there. I suggest kind of two rounds 392 00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:12.839 of this of like estimated guest count. It's hard to 393 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:16.000 off the you get engaged the next week to be like, okay, 394 00:18:16.039 --> 00:18:19.240 this is our finalized list. But seriously sit down and 395 00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:22.119 like count how many people? And all those people that 396 00:18:22.119 --> 00:18:25.359 you're like, eh, maybe not include them because it's easier 397 00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:28.759 to go down than up. Like if the venue. If 398 00:18:28.759 --> 00:18:30.759 you find a venue that fits one hundred people, and 399 00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:33.599 you're like, yeah, we have eighty people, perfect, well, then 400 00:18:33.640 --> 00:18:36.119 you keep adding and adding adding. Now you run into trouble. 401 00:18:36.200 --> 00:18:38.839