Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
covering Dungeon Crawler Carl Book four Gate of the Feral Gods,
chapters nine through eleven. In these chapters, what I had
mentioned about maybe we could use our shape shifter to
be the Gnome to prove that he's still alive, and
actually kind of is what happens, but like it's only
a tiny fraction of the plan. Welcome to spoil Me,
Welcome to the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you
very much to Michael for commissioning this episode. What's up, Michael.
Michael is here in the chat. Appreciates you. You guys.
This whole plan has so many potential, Like I mean,
I know this is the whole thing with Carl's plans,
and that's the way life is, honestly, is that there's
like so many places that it could go wrong. But uh,
it genuinely is making me a little tiny bit twitchy.
It's got me like a bit more on edge than usual,
and I think it's just I'm not I'm not totally
sure what it is that that's making me more nervous.
And I think that maybe it just feels like you're
fully going to be on the Gnomes turf shortly, and
that's just got a real different energy in terms of
like you just don't know what to expect at all,
you know. So I think there's an unknown quantity there
that's got me really paranoid in a way that's like,
I don't everything has an unknown quantity, Like the whole
way that this game works does that. I don't know. Man,
there's just something about this, you know what. Also, and
I've been trying to like not say this because I
feel like I don't want to be discouraging, but our
bros that are helping, it's very funny that like this
section ends with them arguing about how well he's just
trying to boost our self esteem, because like that is
partly probably where it's coming from for me, is that
we've got some people who are crucial to our plan
that don't seem super competent or like at the very least,
there's just a feeling of like, oh boy, I don't
know if things do go wrong, if they are going
to be able to think on their feet enough to
manage to come up with something new on the fly,
it seems like they kind of have to be handheld
a lot and because nothing ever goes to plan, you know.
So anyway, this starts with a distraction of this little
kid to enable Doughnut to steal his telescope, and Carl
told her to leave thirty gold pieces and she's just like, oh, I, oh,
you know what, I left my wallet actually in the
safe room. I'm so sorry. We'll get you back, and
not even not even that much effort. I felt very
annoyed about this. I was just like, Donnut, look, I
get it. I get it so much. But also, bitch,
come on now. The thing is, I think Donut has
so much charisma that I feel like she doesn't fully
appreciate what, what like being a little bit more generous
could possibly sort of smooth over because she doesn't need
to do that to grease the wheels. And many of
us have to earn our good will and sometimes that's
just through bribery, and there's not really anything wrong with
that in and of itself, because sometimes that bribery is
like just helping a person, you know. But anyway, yeah,
Carl is talking to Scarn and says, I want you
guys to promise that you're going to go to the
toe because that's going to be the one safe place,
and this kid is like, well, Flint says we should
go to Spit and Swallow or the wiggle room, and
he's like, no, don't go there, And also tell Flint
to come to the toe as well. Make sure everybody does,
and every single one of you will get a gold
piece if you do that. So then we get some
notification about doughnuts, eyeglasses sunglasses. Sorry I make it sound
like their prescription sunglasses that have gotten an update, and
that she is sort of cranky at the fact that
she didn't get the extent of a gift as she
was hoping for, which, honestly, after this, like we find big,
you know, Mordecai explains that it's like exponential. I knew
that sending stuff was going to be more expensive than
sending an upgrade would be, but it sounds like the
pricing proportions are just way more extreme than I realized,
and I am sort of like wondering why. I feel
like Mordechai probably should have warned them of this beforehand
so that she wouldn't get her hopes up so much.
I mean, even Carl he kind of got his hopes
up when he realizes it's just an upgrade or like
another ability, he's sort of like, oh, you know. And
what's funny is that she's very snotty at first about
this is not worth my time to learn. But then
later she just can't stop talking about the temperatures of things.
And that really struck me as a great detail in
terms of like what I think of in the way
that this author is handling writing donut is, how would
a seven year old behave in this situation? And when
you're a little kid and you get a toy that
can really do something, that just becomes your complete hyper
focus for at least a day at least if you're
like me, probably more like a month, but you know,
depending on how many other toys you've got to choose from.
So the fact that this just is something that she
brings up all the time, I think is really on point.
Let's see, in addition to its intended purpose, I could
see multiple useful applications of the upgrade, including the ability
to find weaknesses on mobs. She could possibly use it
to help me find traps and secret doors. She could
set parameters and get a warning when things reached certain temperatures.
There were dozens of options. Unfortunately, Donut had little patience
for all of that. I couldn't wear them, so Katcha
and I were babystepping her through custom the glasses. I
think you know, Donut has had this reaction before. She
felt this way about whole that spell and then like
as soon as she figured out how to really use it,
literally said, this is the best spell ever. So she'll
get to it eventually, she'll get to a point where
she's really appreciating this. But she likes things that are flashy.
You know. The sunglasses were an accessory that is very exciting.
She just her whole look, you know, I get it.
I really chet it. So anyway, and he let's see.
As always, there were layers of backstory. I couldn't help
but wonder if we'd already burned out any benefit we
could get from the storyline when the tomb raider dudes
killed the collateral guy, I suspected that it didn't matter anymore.
But if it didn't, why didn't Princess Donadia spend money
to send Donut that upgrade? Or why did Princess Donatia Sorry,
she possibly was as much in the dark as we were.
In fact, considering the lack of people in this bubble,
that was a very distinct possibility she sent the upgrade
because she thought she was being helpful and not because
she knew something we didn't, which I think is probably
pretty true. It's possible, depending on like your status, that
you could get inside info and you know, I'm sure
she's got people, but it could also be that she's
operating on the same sort of hearsay that oftentimes Carl
is sort of having to operate on from his book,
you know, where you have really to just hope that
this information is accurate. It's maybe a little bit vague,
not like quite specific enough to be super useful, but
you're just gonna hope for the best. So we then
get our description of an upgrade to the chariot, that
it's a four chamber missile tube. My seat was raised
and I could swivel three hundred and sixty degrees. This
sounds but Nana's banana pants. Do you understand me? I
am trying to picture it and it's difficult. Again, if
you guys have any access to fan art of this,
I would be very interested in seeing the interpretations for
various artists out there. So They're going to go and
see that weird bird thing. Can't remember her name, but
what is it? He wanted to say Rascal, But it's
like Ruckus Ruckus, right, I remember it being sort of
like it cost A Ruckus, Like I thought in my head,
that's kind of a fun name. I feel like that'd
be a good name for dog. So they get to
it and he's looking through the telescope and sees this
bird and its description is a level fifty five borrow
Boss spring operated chicken Hawk Sentinel. It is Ruckus, indeed,
a bereft minion of Shamous chain Drive, the Great Bugbear
treasure hunter Shamous chain Drive was known as both a
paranoid and greedy bastard. He dedicated his life to hunting
down treasures and artifacts. He set out to find the
toomb Necropolis of Answer, went down in a sub said
he would never come back up till he found it.
Twenty years later, he docked it against an underwater entrance
and learned he was not the first to arrive. And
there are all these enemies, all sought the treasures, all
had failed so far. Chain Drive unleashed his greatest weapon
in an attempt to slow the efforts of his competitors,
Rutgers had been stored in status or in stasis. Now
that the Bugbear is long dead, the Sentinel Chicken Hawk
is content to spend its day circling around the island
and being an all around asshole. And then all of
a sudden, system message, please wait, system message, thank you
for your patience. You may not resume normal activities, and
he's like, okay, what the fuck And he gets in
touch with Mordecai, and Mordecai says, it's usually not a glitch,
but a gameplay time out, so dueling routines can clarify
or reconcile rule conflicts. And I'm wondering if this was
like in reaction to the progress that another team was making,
or if it's just like accounting for the power of
the players being higher than was originally anticipated. And Carl
says something about the artifact the Gate of the Pharaoh Gods,
and Mordecai is like, huh, that sort of thing does
start showing up until the sixth floor, or no, the
eighth floor. Sorry, And Carl says, okay, then how does
it work that it's in an acropolis under our feet
and Mordecai is like, I don't know, but like the
AI gets to pick the loose, so maybe it's just
doing its own more intense thing this time. And then
Doughnut goes Carl, she's moving because the whole point was
to attack her in her sleep, and then all of
a sudden, Ruckus level fifty five Borough Boss. It's a bird.
It's a landscaping tool. It's a goddamn death robot, a
leftover anti boat, anti everything else, security and scout automaton
that has lost contact with the Akula, lost contact that
is until now, having awakened and been given new orders,
it is now seeking out enemies of the captain. So like,
I don't know, it's there's nothing about as Doughnut points
out the bereft minion aspect of it, it's operating on
specific orders. So that's setting this up to be a
much more like specific and personal attack than it should
just be an obstacle we need to overcome just a
really odd you know, uh seraphim oh sorry, Donut's type
to skip through Taurus Michael says Seamus was ahead of
the curve on drone combat. I don't remember what this
is in reference to Zoo says, I always thought it
was the progress of the other Quadrant that caused this message.
That was sort of my impression as well. Our Zoo.
I was like, I'm not sure, but that feels likely.
Seraphim says, yeah, due to the Water Quadrant group. They
seem to be fighting the Boss at the time, and
the system glitched and considered the Boss both dead and alon. Yeah,
that makes sense. It's sort of interesting how these storylines
seem to be sort of dependent on each other but
also so easy to ruin and fuck up that it's
like everybody is. It feels like they're all being sabotaged
or at least pointed in a certain direction. And I
can't tell because the AI has been difficult for me
to parse. You know, I don't want to act like, oh,
the AI likes Carl, because I don't feel like anything
is that simple. I don't think that it likes really,
but it does seem to resent the people that control
it from the outside, and so sometimes there are things
that happen that I'm sort of like, is this the
AI giving them the finger again? And so for a
moment I was sort of like, is that what it is?
But yeah, I think that's probably it. So Carl tries
out one of his missiles. It's got a target lock
on it, and it has two boosts that are supposed
to happen one after the other to make it reach
all the way to the bird. And at first it
looks like it's going to work, and then it falls really,
really short, and he is so annoyed. I felt bad
because he got very excited at first when it seemed
like it was working. And let's see, Rookus still climbing,
flew over the explosion unharmed. The buzzsaw cleaved the newly
formed cloud in two, and we used a tiny charge
to drop the backfin of the rocket. It appeared that
explosion was too powerful or something in the second stage
propellant caused the warhead to blow prematurely. I don't know.
I wouldn't know until we tested it. But that did
us no good. Right now, I had three missiles left,
all of a sudden, three missiles that had a much
shorter range. New plan, turn around and drive straight for it,
and kotcha, is this is so fun? You guys? A
second pair of eyes and a mouth appeared in the
back of Kotsia's head. The eyes protruded from her scalp
on a pair of little stalks. Are you crazy, she demanded,
you guys, this is reminding me of a moment in
Roger Rabbit where the dude gets steamrolled, and I was
so scared as a child watching that movie when he
stands up and his eyes are popping out. I literally
burst into tears. I could not handle it. I was
very freaked out by it and never watched the movie again,
which is a shame because I hear it holds up
quite well. But for me this moment, I was just like,
oh God, that sounds hideous because it's reminded me of
Roger Rabbit. I quickly went through the three remaining rockets
and locked all three onto the boss. The monster aimed
right at us. It loomed like a tidal wave. The
buzz saw was impossibly loud. It it'd be on us
in seconds. When I fire bank left and floor it.
Donut watch out, I'm firing now. I pulled all three
pins at once. All three hit the boss at the
same moment. As we turned away, the boss explode the
bloss The boss exploded high over our heads. The chariot
rocked as we turned too sharply, but Katsha held out
her arm in the opposite direction, and a heavy weight
appeared in her hand, causing the vehicle to right itself.
Is that dope or what? Honestly? I love that so much,
Just like her understanding that the mechanics of all of
this in a different way, that's like, in the moment,
immediately helpful. It's one thing to know mechanics when you're
in your safe room constructing a thing, but this on
the fly kind of thing, and it's not even really mechanics,
it's just physics, you know. But I just thought this
was so cool. I love the idea that the AI
commenting on how easy it's going to be to flip
or to roll or whatever, maybe isn't entirely true as
long as Katya is on board and is able to
do things that mitigate all of that, you know. So
let's see, I'm trying to find the spot here ruckus
broke apart in a shower of blood and mechanical parts.
The winner notification appeared. I assumed the music stopped, but
I couldn't hear it over the whine of the buzz saws.
I feel as if I didn't do anything productive in
that battle, Donna said. Mordeca says, I need to be
doing more, not less. I'm already two spots behind you, Carl,
And I actually was sort of noticing that she didn't
really contribute here, which I thought was interesting, because you know,
I don't know how she doesn't really have a lot
of She's got the magic missile attack, which is arranged
attack technically, but it does seem like they use it
in close quarters quite a lot, so I can't remember
exactly how far that goes. And I am assuming if
they didn't decide to use that, there was a good
reason that it would never be able to reach the
thing this far away. But it might be that she
needs more offensive powers, you know. I mean we've already
kind of established that, and that she's like so much
lower in what do you call it constitution that it's
like genuinely worrisome for her. So I would like her
to have a little bit more protection and involvement. And
Patcha is like, I don't get why you wanted me
to drive straight toward it, and he says, well, I
wanted to make sure they hit accurately, and I didn't
want to damage the prize. Get your backpack ready. We're
gonna bulk you up so you can lift the chainsaw
and stick it in your inventory. And she starts to say, Carl,
you know how you're always complaining that they portray you.
She didn't finish. A mighty rumble filled the world bubble notification.
The bridge of the Akula has been successfully occupied. The
water quadrant has been liberated. I'll give congratulations to the
crawler who successfully took the throne. Room. All hail Crawler.
Chris Andrew's two and it's Chris the rock Man. This
moment where Katcha is about to say, you know how
they always portray obviously, she's about to say, like, you
feel a way about them making you look like a
crazy person, But you are a fucking crazy person, you are, dude.
And there's a point later where she is talking to
some buddy and looks really unhappy, and I am starting
to worry that Kotcha isn't feeling being in this party anymore.
I don't know, man, I feel like they must have
proven themselves enough by now that you know that they're
trustworthy and that they have decent ideas, and you know
their top of the leaderboard and yadayada, but it's I
was worried overall, and I know it could be nothing
like as Doughnut says later when she says this plan
is janky at one point and he's like JANKI, where'd
you get that? And she says, Lewis told me, and
he's like what, And she says, I'm allowed to have friends, carl. I.
It could simply be that Kotcha is talking to somebody
because they're checking in on each other and they're just friends.
But I don't know this comment. I know it could
have just been a joke, but it's just in combination
with her talking to somebody and not sharing with him
later that got me worried about it. I don't know, man,
I don't know. So okay, we go to chapter ten
and this there's like a brief catch up with Katcha
about who Chris is and the background with Team Metal
Lark and everything. The fist sized monsters called night Frights
were emerging from the sand dunes. They were everywhere. They
were similar to the rot sticker mobs we faced on
the first floor. They ran, attached themselves to you and exploded,
and honestly, I don't remember the rat stickers, so I'm
kind of lad. That's fine. I promised i'd give the
message to Chris if I could, but there was obviously
something going on with him. He'd also killed Frank Q
soon after Frank had given me the Ring of Divine Suffering.
That was not the crawler I remembered. I remembered him
as a quiet man, dedicated to protecting his friends and brother.
He'd sobbed after the boss battle with the Tuscling Knights.
There was no way the old Chris would have done
something like that. Immani said his personality had changed soon
after he'd chosen his race, and he's still not answering
her messages and stuff. Immani sort of is assuming that
Chris wants to team up with Carl because of the
way that he was talking to his brother, like the
fight that they had before he left, and Carl is
very much like, I don't know if I want any
of that smoke, but you know, maybe I hear him
out and Immani is like, look, just please don't kill him.
Like I get it, he's changed, and there may be,
but he's still my friend and he's still my friend's brother.
I just ask that you approach it with some caution
and try and save his life if you can, which
I fully agree with her on because it's possible there
is something that we can discuss and like understand about
why he's behaving how he is. I would definitely want
to hear him out and see what it is he
has to say. So there's also this mention of let's see,
we need a boat with armor. This is amani Ellie
has figured out how to use an ice spell to
protect us from the fireballs, but we still can't get
close to the oil rig. And Carl just says, well,
build a sub and she's like, bro, do you fucking
hear yourself? You can't just do that, Like that's not easy.
And then Carl says, speaking of Chris, he has a submarine.
I can't imagine he'd be able to get it to you,
but maybe he has some knowledge we don't, And I'm
wondering if he stole it, or can he make one
out of rock. I feel like that would just sink,
but you know, magic, I don't know, So let's see.
Oh I'm seeing all. I was not the only one
who uh was freaked out by the Roger rabbit thing.
I think the issue with this is, saraphim, the issue
with magic missile is more of an issue of hitting
a moving target at that range than the range itself. Okay,
maybe Michael says it's safe to assume and Dona isn't
actively speaking she's sexing behful. That's probably true, Saraf says.
I think Carl's reaction was less you talk to someone
other than me and Dona, and more you talk to
Lewis willingly. Heck, I'd buy donut being able to multitask
and chat while holding a conversation. Probably, Michael, the idea
of choosing a new race and having that effect who
I am as a person would be terrifying to me, honestly,
would explain why most people choose to say this, stay
the same race. Yeah, And like I don't know how
many people knew that was a possibility before they chose
their race. So that's another factor. It's just like how
much information are you working with? Because if you don't
know that's what's going to happen, you know, like some
of us seem to be more informed about that than others.
And I really wonder because the Carl has changed over
to a primal, which is like very similar to a
human in certain ways, but apparently not in all ways.
And I'm wondering if that's going to manifest in any way,
and is there a difference in Pascha's personality? Would she know?
Could she tell? Even I'd like, you know. So this
is when they go and talk to Henrik, who I
keep wanting to call Heinrich and there's no I in
that e area, so I need to stop it with that,
And they basically are like, yo, hey, so about this
whole collateral thing. We know that the Nome is dead,
we know that you're a changeling. We don't care about that.
We will not blow up your spot, but exactly how
does this exchange thing happen to prove? And at first
she's just like, I don't know what you're talking about,
But as soon as Donut gets involved, he's just like,
all right, fine, I'll tell you. And let's see. I'm
trying to find the spot. Here. The alarm goes off
on the watch and I open it up. There is
a mirror. The nomish come in commandant is on the
other side. He makes a symbol with his fingers. I
show this to the collateral and he tells me a time.
I then switch the hands on the clock to the
correct time. Commandant Caine owns the watch's twin, and I
believe the movement on the clock is mirrored, so when
I change the time on Henrik's watch, the hands also
move on the other clock. It is a code we
do not understand. Only then do the gnomes No win
is alive, and we have bought ourselves another day a
code and he cooperated with it. He did for years.
It was only when we moved him to the chamber
below the town hall did he start to resist. Only
when he understood the dynamic of the situation had changed,
so he stopped cooperating. So I'm assuming that this is
basically like when he was being handled by actual dramedarians.
It was fine, but he found out like it was
obvious he was being handled by shape shifters pretty quickly
changelings sorry, and then all of a sudden he started
really putting up a fight and we had to drug him.
And the drug the efficacy wears off faster and faster
the more you use it, and apparently just eating the
raw helped with getting people to do what you wanted
he'd already said a lot of mushrooms had that effect,
but that was more of a secondary purpose, especially when
the system labeled it as an alchemy item. He said
the mind control effects weren't very reliable, but apparently they'd
worked well enough in this case. And Carl says, where's
the real Heinrich, I did it again, Henrik, and he's like,
come on, do you really want me to answer you
that question for real? And we also found find out
that like the Bactrians wouldn't allow changelings to settle with them,
they didn't take any change links in because they were
very suspicious of them. And the Dromedarians were kind and
decided that they would and sucks for them. And when
Carl basically says sucks for them, though Henrik says, sometimes
we do things that are not of our nature to
protect our own, I felt a chill, but only for
a moment. I remembered what Mordecai had said about these guys,
that they were basically doing this so they could resurrect
some ancient monster and touch it and add it to
their libraries. That wasn't a very noble cause. Still, something
about that story was nagging at me, I had the
sense there was more to it than that, and yeah,
there is definitely more to it than that. I think
that this is a very surface level motivation that there's
something else going on, especially the way Juice Box behaves
later regarding the possibility that they can go to the
hunting grounds. I'm wondering if they think there's a way
to move down to the next level with this like disguise,
like being this thing you know, I don't know. I
don't know. So let's see. Can you talk to the
common don guy using the watch no sound, but we
can exchange written messages. We often speak that way. Have
they ever sent a representative like an emissary? Yes, they do.
Often there's an ambassa leon, the Kummasar. He comes to inspect.
He has a spell he casts to make sure the
collateral is not a changeling. I believe they fear we
will one day break the code between him and the commandant,
which does make sense. And also, like you can imagine,
I was quite deflated when this is mentioned because I
was now after they like engage with this conversation with Henrik,
and it's kind of out in the open that they're
going to try and help and YadA YadA. I started
to have more faith in my Katya idea. But then
as soon as he says this, I was just like, ah, shit,
But they find a way around that that is frankly
brilliant and I'm really excited about. So Carl then asks Mordecai, Uh,
you know, what are my options if I want to
make a parachute? And Mordecai is like, well, if you're
a sewer, you could do that. If not, you need
a bunch of shit that we do not have. And
then I'm looking at the stock right now, I don't
have the featherfall materials. I do have enough to make
one type, but you won't like it. I am extremely interested,
and only enough to make maybe two of them. So
whatever death defying stunt you're planning, take Katcha with you
and leave doughnut on the ground. I Oh, I really
want to know, like, is it that he sprouts wings
which might hurt or is it because featherfall you would
just weigh less, right, so you don't fall as fast
or as hard. Bubble boy, I'm assuming it's like a
protective shell kind of thing around you, but that moves
with you and cushions your fall. I wonder if you
bounce like a bouncy ball. So alternatively, what I'm thinking
is like either you get wings or you are made
into something that floats somehow. I don't know how that
would even work. I'm trying to think of I'm trying
to think. I don't know, man, So let's see. He goes,
this is what here it is? I said to Hendrick,
I don't know if this will save the town, but
we're going to give it a try. I turned to Katya,
who'd been strangely silent since we'd returned. Her eyes were flashing,
so I knew she was talking to somebody. She did
not look happy. I want to know what is happening here.
I'm wondering if maybe it's got nothing to do with
like loyalty stuff, and maybe it's maybe Eva got back
in touch with her and it's just an fun conversation,
you know. I don't know. So he tells the plan
to Donut. We don't get to hear what it is,
but she isn't super thrilled with it. And and then
they get a message from Morris. Package delivered. But we
have a new problem. Right after the water quadrant was conquered.
Some of the walls changed inside. I think all the
exits are closed. We didn't think much of it at first,
but now something's happening. I think the Necropolis is filling
with water, so I don't know what we're gonna do.
We have a lot of those water breathing scrolls, but
not nearly enough, and I don't think our torches work underwater.
If it fills up all the way, then we're hosed. Okay,
make sure everybody has the scrolls. If it fills all
the way to where you are, go to a safe room. Actually,
you and Bobby returned to the Desperado and plant yourselves there.
If I need to build you something or get more
scrolls to you, we can get it to you more easily.
And he's realizing like there was some sort of domino
effect that has caused a reaction in the other quests,
and is like, I never even considered that the order
in which we did certain things might matter, which like,
of course you wouldn't. I really like, I wouldn't really
think that way either, because the literal walls of the
place are changing, so it sounds like anything you do
is changing the other thing so I'm not even positive
that knowing the order mattered would have helped really, because
it would be impossible to predict exactly what would change
based on how arbitrary it seems to be. I don't know.
Maybe there is some like actual method to this and
like a pattern, but right now I can't see it.
And let's see. He goes to the toe. There are
tons of people there waiting to be ushered into his
safe safe area, and he says to Donut, let me
know if any of the other the kids other than
the humans are shape shifters. Donut says, I don't see
any others, but it's hard with the kids. Juice Box's
head is very hot, just as hot as the Henrick guy,
and the bartender guy is one two. So they go
into this space. Carl promises even more money if the
kids just fucking get in there and make sure everybody
else gets in there. And he's looking at the kids.
I noticed three of the human slash changeling children weren't
fully complete. One, a girl named Ruby, did not have
any arms at all, and her head was sunken in
at the top like a deflated soccer ball that had
been kicked. She walked slowly with a noticeable limp. She
was hard to look at. When I examined her, I
saw she had an active dbuff. This NPC is suffering
from compression sickness. I was super surprised that Carl doesn't
know what this is. Isn't compression sickness when you surface
too quickly after being underwater? Basically? Is that? Am I
wrong about that? I thought that's what it was, and
being that he worked in the coast Guard, I really
would have thought this would be something that would come
up for them, because I'm assuming that you would there
would be people who are involved with like scuba diving
and stuff like that. Unless I'm totally wrong about what
this is, it may be that it's like the reverse
U oh sorry, there's a bunch of chat again. Surfim
says making something go unto water is easy. The harper
is getting it back. And the only person we know
that seems to have had some major personality changes was
Ellie and that could just be the age. That's kind
of how I interpreted it with Ellie, is like, that's
just her personality coming back to the surface now that
she is youthful again. But you know, maybe not. Michael
says the Bactriines were totally right to not let the changelings,
and given the changelings apparent they started just murdering and
replacing the town they did get let into. And agree,
I mean agree, but also it's the sort of thing
where it's like, I don't know, man, even if you're
protecting yourself, if you turn your back on a whole
race of people, how do you live with yourself? You know,
like maybe I'd rather die knowing that I did my
best to be kind than live knowing that I was
willing to just let somebody die. You know, I don't know.
Ann Is Natasha implying the Borring Corporation wouldn't play fair,
Saraphim says, that's the Benz decompression sickness. Okay, I knew,
I was like close with that. It doesn't cause the
symptoms he's seeing in the kids. Well, regardless of that,
I mean, I would I know that when you get
the bends, your head doesn't give any Serafim. I'm not
thinking that. I'm assuming that if you are a changeling
in a magical world, that that's going to maybe look different.
That's all, but compression sickness, like this has got to
mean something. I'm really trying to figure this out and
I can't. I don't know. Maybe it's compression sickness, like
the kid was fitted into a small area and now
is trying to because if they can shift their bodies,
maybe they can shift down to a smaller or smaller,
smaller mass. But they pay a price for that somehow,
which then begs the question where was this kid hiding
or put I really don't have like a theory for
that at all. So I sent a message to Mordecai
asking what that was, but he said he'd never heard
of it. And Mordecai is very unhappy with them opening
up their safe room to all of these people. It's
pretty much like chaos immediately, the way that it is
with little kids and juice boxes. Instantly, like you need
games or something because they're calm, but they're gonna get antsy.
And I love Mordecai, this is calm, and I was like, honestly,
based on the description that we were hearing, yeah, that
sounds pretty calm to me. And Mordecai, it turns out,
has the ability to put movies on and he's got
a significant library of movies from Earth that he stored
and didn't want, understandably, to tell Donut about this because
she would just be demanding certain movies talk about on demand,
like but very literally and unpleasantly. And I really enjoyed
this as a little reveal. I'm also kind of cures like,
you know, as he says, you don't have time to
watch movies, and he's not wrong, but it would be
cool if we could get an artifact or something that
could fuck with time a little and give us an
extra hour and a half where we could just sit
down and watch something comforting. Does he have TV shows?
I could go for an episode of Frasier to like
cool down at the end of the day as I'm
eating my dinner, getting ready for bed, you know, something
like that. So it's just that curiosity, That's what I'm saying. Also,
if you do, like, let's say, if you decided to
watch Fury Road, you might get some really good ideas
out of that potentially, So let's see. Oh yeah, she
asked to see something about Mary because she never got
to see the end of it. And then oh my god,
do you have the Sex and the City movie? And
it's just such an odd combo. So this is when
Juice Box kind of gets intense and she asks Carl
what is this place? Is it from the hunting grounds?
And he's like, no, it's our base of operations. Can
we use it to get there? No, you can't use
it to travel, but we'll be going there if we
can get out of here. Is that someplace you're trying
to go, which everybody is trying to go to the
next round? Like that's the whole thing, dude, And he
does have a moment of remembering, I'm trying to find
the spot because he mentioned here it is Rory and Loralai,
the Goblin Shamankas from the first floor had been the opposite.
While they'd been invested in the Lama Goblin meth war story,
they were also fully aware they were on the first
floor of a dungeon. Guys, I haven't even watched Gilmore Girls,
and I know the names Rory and Laurala, And I
don't know if I connected the dots way back when
I covered that book, and I have just forgotten that
I connected those dots, or if I fucking didn't connect
the dots at the time. But now I'm looking at them,
and I'm just like, oh my god, but I absolutely
was not getting it, and I just or at least
I don't remember getting it, so I wanted to address it.
The hunting grounds are our ancient home, the juice box said.
We've been stuck here for a long time. There was
a way to go home, but it is lost to
us now that the town hall is gone. Are you
seeking the gait of the Pharaoh? Gods do not ask,
she scoffed. She didn't seem surprised we'd mentioned the artifact.
No nomes seek that prize. The same with the mad
mage and that bugbear. All of them came here trying
to find it. One of our kind says, the gay
artifact is a myth. The camels have been here the
longest and they know nothing of it. What we seek
is something else. So what is it you seek? Something
to do with the ghost? Queen quetzal kootless. That surprised her,
and not in a good way. She narrowed her eyes
and backed off. I must tend to the children. I'm
beginning to suspect this is all you're doing. You speak
of helping us, but where is the proof other than
taking the children? To this place. Prove to me you
mean what you say. If you can stop the gnomes
from destroying the city and my people survive, I will
tell you. And I mean, she's not wrong. It's not
that this is all they are doing, but it is
all for them. You know, she's interesting. I'm curious about her.
I love the fact to you guys that she's handing
out actual juice boxes to the kids. And I couldn't
help it laugh because like as soon as he said,
it's like a strawberry key we caprice son. And when
he said, I realized I could only remember like two flavors,
and Strawberry Kiwi was one of them. I remember fucking
up a capri son when I was little. My parents
didn't buy them because they had too much sugar in them,
but I really loved those things, and I should pick
them up. See if that still hits the way that
it used to, So new Quest squeeze out the juice box.
It appears she's rather fond of her brothers and sisters,
many of whom are currently outside mixed in with the poor,
oblivious Dromedarians preparing to die in a desperate attempt to
destroy all the incoming bombs with flack. If this town
is bombed, they will not succeed. To win this quest,
you must save Humptown reward. You will receive a Platinum
quest box. In addition, all crawlers in this quadrant will
receive a permanent fifty percent charisma bonus during any future
interaction with changelings, which is fun than us. And also
you'll also receive my undying respect because there is no
way in how you can pull this one off. Even
you can pull this one off, which I thought was
interesting that the AI was like even you, because it
implies a certain type of respect, you know. So let's see.
Michael says they could just use the Michael Scott theory
of using movies to increase productivity. No, they literally have
to be more productive to make up for the half
hour they lost watching movies. I don't remember this plot point.
If I recall, Donut straight up said she was naming
them after the Gilmore girls. Donut named them. I don't
remember that. That makes a lot more sense now, Okay.
I thought it was like the game making a little
jokey joke, but Donut doing it. Okay, that makes sense.
Seraphim says, maybe Donut could get some sort of film
critic class that requires her to watch movies to get
some kind of buff slash abilities. All right, So chapter eleven,
he opens his loop boxes. First was a case of
twenty five more surefires, which was a relief. The second
was a little worrying. It was similar to the boss
damage enhancing Seize the day toothpaste I have, which was
I was saving for later. It's a lotion bottle, just
like the one who used to keep hidden in your
drawer by the bed. Of course, So if you can't
talk someone into peeing on you after you get stung
by a pain amplifier jelly, then this will do. The
trick effect removes the pain portion of the kill me
now it hurts deep buff warning. It does not remove
the one minute healing block effect associated with the jelly sting.
And understandably, Carl is just like, uh, God, that all
sounds terrible, Like, yeah, I don't like previews like this.
This is just toying with people. Uh. And then the
best thing, the silver fanbox enchanted role of never ending
duct tape fifty meters. This is great. I had said
that like a never ending duct tape would be great,
but I wasn't sure that would be too like too broken.
And it turns out it's never ending. But like you know,
it has a cool down and it has a certain
number of meters per hour that it refills at. And
it says, odds are good. You know who Ted Bundy is.
Odds are even better. You don't know who Vesta Stout is.
And according to this, Vesta Oral Stout was a factory
worker during the Second World War, famous for her letter
to President Franklin D. Rose about suggesting the use of
adhesive tape to improve of ammunition boxes. So, uh, there
you go. Will you use it to tie people up?
Will you use it to save the lives of those
you love? Will you wrap your ankles together and sensuously
rub your supple feet up and down a dungeon wall
while you run your hands through your hair. Guys, I'm
not too proud to admit if the AI were asking
these questions, I would fucking try it. I would just
want to know if I do this for you, AI,
what do you do for me? Just out of curiosity.
It's not like it's acting me to like give a
lap dance, you know, it's not. I'm not asking like
cam girl shit, like to masturbate or anything. Literally just
rub your feet up and down the wall and run
your hands through your hair. I could do that. I
could just do that as a nice little break. It
doesn't even have to you know, like fuck, I want
you to try it, Carl, Just come on, come on,
just give it up a little bit, just give it up.
Let's just see anyway. So then we have the plan,
and as it is getting set up, I'm starting to
understand what's happening, but not fully getting it. So I
attached the back cart to the body of the chariot.
Fiaras sat sat in the back car along with Henrik
Lewis sat in the driver's seat while I walked to
the left and Donuts sitting astride. Mango marched to our right.
And this was a complicated plan with a lot of
moving parts, which meant there were a lot of ways
for it to go south. She was nervous. I was
nervous too. So when the Gnome has been reanimated with
Donuts spell and because she has increased in her overall
like skills and abilities, that spell lasts for a half hour,
which is like pretty impressive, but unfortunately Carl mentions later, like,
I think we started it too soon. Probably true, Like
maybe have him just be limp in the back and
cast the spell just as it's time to show him off,
you know. But I definitely get why they did it
this way, because I probably would too. I wouldn't really
think about how long this would take. And let's see
the balloon comes down. We've gotten a level twenty five
aerostat pilot and level forty four negotiator and level fifty
two sniper captain, which is a little intimidating. Of all
the vehicles left aboard the Dreadnought Waste Slam, the Vahana
is perhaps the oldest. Once long ago the Gnomes believed
they could have wore war. And we get a whole
story here that I won't get into. The Sylvan balloons
were mostly dismantled and recycled, some together to give extra
security to Nomish settlements. The Peaceful Flying Community has changed
their name from sky Garden to Dreadnought and the Sniper
Gnome and everybody. We get a description of what they
all look like. And then there's one dude who is
wearing this one particular type of motorcycle helmet and we
get another devastating fucking story. I swear to God, I
want there to be a happy story like just like one.
Even the circus story is so sad because the moment
that it comes to him, he feels violated, and it's
laced with the sadness of his mother trying to get
away from this man. Like it's not really happy. And
I had a sudden memory of my father angry. It
was soon after Mom had left us, a month before
he in turn left me defend for myself. He'd ripped
off the helmet and smashed my fish tank, spilling my
Molly's everywhere. I hadn't cried when my fish died, and
I remembered it had bothered me for weeks after. Ever
since then, I'd think of my father and those fish.
Whenever I saw one of those helmets, I'd think of
those fish flopping on the ground as I desperately tried
to pick them up, cutting my fingers on the glass.
I'd think of the pain and blood, and of them
not surviving even after I put them in a cup.
Whenever I saw a helmet like that, I would think
of that day and remember how easy it was to
grow numb and not even realize it. I'd think I'm
never getting a pet again. All they'd do is die.
It felt like the wrong lesson, especially now. But that's
what happens, isn't it. The universe shows us how cruel
it can be, and we are worse for it. And
you know, like this, this type of cruelty coming from
your parents, especially, I don't feel like there's a way
to avoid making yourself numb, because how else do you
get through it. You have to. It's a fucking like,
you know, it's a self protection. It's just devastating. Though
this whole thing is so sad. I really just the
idea of like, I'm never getting a pet again. And
then he goes and looks at Donut. She's not a
pet anymore. Was she better off now? I didn't know.
I mean, I would say probably not, just because everything
is so fucked completely. But at the same time, you've
got a cowl that has your back in such a
way that, like, I mean, I don't know if you
would have found this otherwise, you know. Sorry, I get
the impression Carl plays hard to get as part of
the reason it likes him. Oh, saraph I'm about the AI.
I see, the question has always been why did Carl
stay with b Did he stay with her for donut?
And Saraphim says, Carl is just so deeply loyal he
would never leave her till he had concrete proof she
wasn't loyal to him. Well, I do think, guys, and
I'm so sorry I don't remember who mentioned it, but
somebody in the chat and the discord said that he
has got abandonment issues and probably stayed with somebody even
when they were mistreating him because he's used to being
mistreated and has that, And so I think that's definitely
a part of that as well. You know, if you're
used to being kind of bullied, mild bullying doesn't feel
like bullying anymore, and it feels just familiar enough that
it's almost comforting. And I could see it just getting normalized.
Our a Zoo said it, Ah, our a Zoo, Yay,
thank you. Sorry that I didn't remember it was you,
but I'm glad you're here to take credit for that. Yeah,
it was a really good point that hadn't occurred to me,
But that makes a lot of sense. So yeah, this
I'm never getting a pet again. All they do is
die like that is true about pets. They die before
you almost every time because that's just the nature of
how short lived they are. But also you get to
experience love when you have pets of a type that
is worth it in my opinion in the end. Usually
I'm not going to say that these fish being destroyed
by his dad was necessarily worth it, because that's a
whole different situation. But you know, so we have this
whole interaction that is first Henrik, who is actually Katcha
doing Henrik and isn't Henrik himself. Well, Henrik's dead, but
you know, and Dona is using her charisma here and
she explains that the Gnome did his spell to reanimate
some creature and so there are lasting effects after he
casts this spell that I can cure because I'm a
healer and my manservant has the potion. And this is
how she explains the state that this guy is in, which,
as we find out later, the spell that they were
asking him to cast would have had pretty severe effects,
not necessarily these effects. This dude can tell the difference.
But also he has never seen the Nome cast that
spell before, so you know, it's like very much on
the edge where he almost doesn't believe it, but finally
kind of gives in. And this is when Leon says, uh,
we're going to check you all to see if you're
actually changelings. Let's see. I will remove his facial covering,
but I'm not removing his bindings. And at some point
she's like, you know, he tries to nip at you,
so just be careful. Let's see, there are too many
of you. We can only take you and win anymore,
and it'll be too much weight. Donut scoffed, I will
take my man servant or there is no deal. Besides,
who's going to carry him me? Surely you jest very well,
he said, After a moment he peered suspiciously at the archers.
But Donut added, once your favorite uncle is returned safe
and sound, you'll dispatch balloons to retrieve the others. Leon
smiled wickedly, and he says this is acceptable, and I
was just like, is it? I don't know if I
trusted to keep your word on this at all? But
this is when he decides to do the test and see,
you know who's a changeling and whatnot? Uh sorry, sorry,
I'm trying to find the bit. Oh right. He almost
baits her because he calls Dona a dog creature and
Carl has to talk her down. Let's see a blue
light burst into the air. He repeated it with Dona.
He then insisted on doing the same to me. I
went to a knee, allowing the perfume smelling man to
touch my head. The perfume was covering a deep, dirty stench,
I realized when he was up close. I knew that smell.
It was the stench of a man who'd been rationed
to Gallon a week to shower with. They're in trouble.
Their ship is floundering. And he nodded and approached the
bound hostage. So we get the timer difficulty described to
us here, and we all held our collective breaths. I
had no idea if this would work. The spell supposedly
only detected changelings. If it was anything else, we'd be screwed.
So this is when he's like, this is weird. He
almost looks like he's a ghoul. He's definitely not a changeling.
But something is up and he holds up the potion,
which it turns out is mountain dew, and just as
he turns around, this reanimated head just fucking dissolves and disappears,
disintegrates into a cloud of dust. And I didn't think
that that was what happened when the second Chance spelled.
I thought that it just your body went limp and
dead again, not that you like disappeared, but I don't
really remember. I just I thought that's how that worked.
And Pasha then takes his place, the head's place, which
is it's a really smart move because he already did
the spell to make sure whether he's a changeling or not,
so we don't have to worry about that anymore. And uh,
there is a moment where Carl has to pour them
out and do down her throat and she like chokes
and is like, oh my god, who can fucking drink this?
Which I found this very funny because like, just recently,
there was there's a podcast I listened to that does
a little bit of fast food news, and they mentioned
that Taco Bell has some new permanent flavors of Baja
blasts on their menu, and I was like, I wonder
if I'd like any of them, and my husband immediately
went they're based on mountain dew, Babe, you won't like them.
I promise I can barely drink one particular flavor, and
other than that, I can't do it. And they're like
too much for me, and I love soda, you would
fucking hate it. So uh yeah, I have never tried
mountain dew. So let's see. Uh, let's see. He doesn't
have it on him. Leon shouted, that's going to be
a problem. The sniper said, what are we doing? Are
you looking for this? I asked, holding up the watch.
I'd meet the facsimile from memory at my bench, only
spending a quick thirty seconds to shape the thing. It
had been a last minute hunch. I'd asked Enrick where
the watch came from, and he claimed he hadn't known,
though I sensed he was being sketchy about it, which
made me wonder how important it was. And he's like, oh, good,
at least you have it, to be really relieved, and
doesn't mind that it's in Carl's possession, which I thought
was interesting. And then Leon says, at least we don't
have to go searching through the town's remains for it,
which I felt like pretty much was saying, we're still
going to destroy the town. I don't know man. That
just felt to me. You know, I don't know. So
Leon says, we have a deal. Have your man take
Win and bring into the basket. But I must insist
you give Win the respite now before we go. I
can't bring him in such a state onto the wasteland,
which I think is fair considering. So this is when
he gives it to Katcha. Uh Doughnut puts mango away,
jumps onto his shoulder. Carl. Okay, guys, follow Langley's lead.
All of you be ready. Fears will puddle jump you
out of there if necessary. Lewis, you're in charge of
the chariot. Those planes have missiles on them, so we
will need your g own support. I have confidence in you, guys. Lewis.
You know a plan is really desperate when it requires
confidence in people like us. Fears, Shut the hell up, Lewis.
He's trying to build our self confidence. And that is
the end of chapter eleven. So all right, guys, I
have to wrap this up, but very interested to see
what the rest of this plan is, because I genuinely
beyond what I had thought about Kotshia taking the Nomes place.
I had no idea that was all I could think
of and now from here getting onto the balloon. I'm
assuming they're going to try and hijack the balloon, but
I don't even know how that would work, like, because
why do you need ground support? I don't know. Genuinely,
I feel like what I'm imagining about this setup doesn't
make sense for what possibilities I'm coming up with. So anyway, Yeah,
I have got to wrap. Thank you guys again so
much for listening and hanging out. Thank you Michael for
commissioning this one, and until next time to the lou motherfuckers.
That was an Unspoiled Network podcast