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Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.

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Speaker 2: I am Chris and I'm dead and my eternal punishments

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to do this podcast where we interview everyone in Hell.

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And I'm joined to ask always by younger brother of Satan.

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Clayton road Trip, Road Trip. Clayton road Trip. Hey, Broadridrip

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Beep beep, broad Trip. We're on a road trip. Yeah, yeah,

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with no interviews today because we are going on vacation.

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Speaker 1: That's right, we've been talking about it and all these

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ad reads we're talking about the vacation we're about to

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take and if you skipped them, well you're shorting us

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some change, and you're also missing out on very important

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Lord great exposition. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we've been hinting at this.

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Speaker 1: This is our Avengers Doomsday in game whatever age of Ultron, Yeah, which.

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Speaker 2: We might go see if we get to the destination time,

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you know, like we have an excell electure time and

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we go see Doomsday.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is gonna be the epic road trip adventure.

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Speaker 3: I think we're taking this thing on the road.

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Speaker 1: We're still gonna be doing interview was probably out on

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the wild wild West, the streets in the highways of

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Hells or probably run into some visitors we got Will Smith. Well, no,

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we didn't get Will Smith. He's not down here. He's

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on his way though. But before we get too far

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from the house. We just pulled out of the driveway.

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But we got a review. Did you bring everything you need?

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Are you sure you got everything? Well? I got a shirt, shoes, pants, check, check, check,

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tooth throat we got to bring them too, throt, extra

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toilet brushes, and then extra pair shoes. I have some

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that are like sandals. Okay, well, actually, Chris, can you

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throw those out? It's a little excessive, dude, because we

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still got to stop and get snacks, and I think

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you overpacked. You didn't need extra shoes. What are you doing? Okay, well,

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we have to turn around. Is no, we don't have time,

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God damn it. We want to stay on schedule. We're

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already running late because somebody had to take a ship before.

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Well yeah, sure it was me, but it would still

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put us behind schedule. Throw those goddamn things out the window. Okay,

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you just did it, so yeah, Oh it's speed bump Joe. There,

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speed bump Joe, my bride, My bride. I missed that guy.

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That was a great episode. Yeah, we gotta get gas.

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We gotta get gas already, we're already on empty. Oh

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my god.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, type it into the GPS.

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Speaker 1: Prices are pretty low right now, right historically low, if

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I recall, Yeah, I believe so well heading tonight, you

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also insist that we have to get the highest gas thing,

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the super expensive one. Well, of course, in this beast

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that we're driving here, I guess we need to give

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the audience a little like check in. So you know,

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in the past, I've always been a PT Cruiser. Man,

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it's reliable, they're great, they look awesome. But then I

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got a cyber truck. What a beast. By the third

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or fourth one when they stopped exploding and blowing up,

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loved those things. Yeah, Chris, I don't know if you noticed,

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but I have hybridized both the cyber truck and the

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PT Cruiser.

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Speaker 3: I've just shall we call it the PT truck or

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the cybercruiser.

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Speaker 2: Likes might get arrested that Chris Hansen might come and

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arrest you.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, cybercruiser is the way to go. So anyways,

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we're driving in my cybercruiser, but require double the amount

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of gas. Yeah, Well, here's a gas station. Though you're

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filling up. Might filling up? I got it. I mean

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it's all the same. Okay, as you know, Hell is

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on fire, so just be careful when you're putting the

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gas in that you don't I think I know my

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way around.

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Speaker 3: Stop dropping, stop dropping, roll, stop putting.

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Speaker 1: More gas on it.

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Speaker 3: Drop roll, I'm I'm rolling.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, someone's got gas on their face. Okay, let's

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stop monkeying around. We're putting this in the tank. Oh man, okay,

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so packing list, I guess we're at the gas station

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so we can load up. Do you need any snacks?

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Oh my god, what do I want? Oh? We gotta

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fill the hot box. Gotta put some lava in there

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and keep our drinks nice and hot.

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Speaker 3: So we do that. We can get those wieners on

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the rollers, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, those are the exact same down here as

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they are up in the earth.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, pulled straight from the river, dicks fresh.

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Speaker 1: And then we've got whoppers. They have those in Hell too.

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They're all melted though, they kind of just look like

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a big square shit because they come out of the

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box like that. But they're pretty good. We'll get some

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of those. Send a bunch cinnabuns.

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Speaker 3: Those are delicious.

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Speaker 1: We can load up on those. Each one is based

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off an actual sin. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I've got prejudice, you've got pride. Yeah, and there's beaciality.

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Oh that's a good flavor. Muh oh wow, you're devouring

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that one.

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Speaker 1: This one's be chocolate lab flavor. Disgusting. All right, Well,

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tanks done filling up. Well, let me see can I

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bum two hundred and fifty dollars? You have that on you?

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Speaker 2: I guess we could maybe expense it because you know,

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we're recording an episode, right, so.

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Speaker 1: We are a business and business is booming, and by

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that I mean exploding two to fifty dollars. That is

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our budget for the year. Oh oh oh great, okay,

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so yeah, but we'll make it back in spades because

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people love road trip movies. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And what's better than a road trip movie a road

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trip podcast?

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Speaker 1: Trip podcast? That's right? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. We said at

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the same time, same wavelength, can you move some of

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the stuff that I got packed back here?

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Speaker 3: We've got to fit some room in.

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Speaker 1: For some snacks. Yeah, this box is really heavy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Those are the dumbbells in case I need to pop

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out a quick lift, like your entire week. Yeah, yeah,

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I can't not bring that. I got that. I got

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my whole wardrobe, literally the entire chest to drawers with

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all my clothes. That's a lot of stuff. Yeah. This

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is like your dress clothes and stuff like you need,

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like all of your formal wear. Yeah. I mean, we

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don't know how long we're gonna be out. We might

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swing by, like the Sin City guy, might get married.

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Who knows. It could be fun. Yeah, got my golf clubs,

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got my cricket paddles, got my pickleball things in case

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we want to do some sports, some recreational activities sports.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we haven't even told people where we're going.

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We're going camping.

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Speaker 1: We are going camping. Oh, it's gonna be funny, great outdoors, Chris.

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You me just like forest and Bubba Gump shouldered to

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shoulder back to back.

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Speaker 2: So we're gonna beat the forest. But what is the

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forest gout preference?

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Speaker 3: So anyways, yeah, camp, it's gonna be fun.

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Speaker 1: But let's pack it up. We're done at the gas station.

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Let's hit the open road. All right. Nothing but what

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do they call it? Like a hot cement in front

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of us? Nothing but open clean that. I don't feel

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so good. You're feeling roadsick?

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Speaker 3: No, No, I'm just homesickness. No, missing home already, big.

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Speaker 1: Just take I'm gonna pull over for a second.

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Speaker 3: Okay, puver.

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Speaker 1: I probably should have eaten that BC Reality cinnabun.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, not settling well with your stomach.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think it's really gross. We really even

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should make jokes about it because it's so gross of

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a flavor. Oh classic, Chris. They really don't go down. Well.

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Just go behind that burnt out tree, those twigs over there.

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Oh no, that's coming out of both ends.

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Speaker 3: That's guys.

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Speaker 1: If you could imagine it, I'm seeing a tree with

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brown and green like a fountain, out of both sides.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, it came out just the way it went in.

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It's actually so good. I think packed that up for later.

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We might need some food. I'm kind of hungry now

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that barfett. I should just eat it because I don't

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want to know bad.

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Speaker 3: Might as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we spend money on it. We don't have a

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lot of budget. Eat that cinnamon. No, it's good. I

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don't see how that can go bad. And that won't

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come back in on you, all righty we got to

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take roots six x six and we're out of guess again,

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we just got gas, Chris, Well, yeah, but how much

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does your weight set way? I don't know, not much

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like three tons? Three tons?

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Speaker 3: Well, I had to pack all of the equipment.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't just like bring a barbelle and not bring

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the binch and the squat rack and the leg press.

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I didn't get shoes, and you got in the abductor

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and adductor machine separate. But they've performed different movements, and

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you have a I could not bring the peloton Chris. Yeah,

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but it weighs a ton. It literally weighs a ton. Yeah,

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but what if I need to get my cardio in?

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All right, we gotta stay in peak physical condition. If

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we're going camping. You don't know what we're gonna encounteround

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those wilderness woods.

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Speaker 3: All right, I might need to fight it and protect you, Chris,

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and bike away.

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Speaker 1: Well, peloton, who we're gonna set up the outdoor gym

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if some creature haunts him.

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Speaker 2: I'm just saying we're not gonna make it. That was

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one point two miles per gallon.

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Speaker 3: Fine, Well, stopping at gas again.

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Speaker 1: Should we get cinnebuns? If you want to go into

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the gas station, get cinnamuns. Okay, Actually, do wen'ta have

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gas to get back to the last gas station because

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these guys are three cents more per gallon?

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Speaker 3: Oh and that's a fucking ripoff.

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, but if you do the math on like

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our mile per gallon, if we go back, it'll be

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more huh, because.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna be doing well to put the savings though, Chris,

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just the principle of the thing that they're fucking us

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over three since per gallon.

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Speaker 3: Sure, it's a convenient gases.

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Speaker 2: Nine ninety nine dollars, yeah, and sixty nine cents okay,

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but at.

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Speaker 1: The last place it was nine hundred and nine dollars

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and sixty six is you can see why I am

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morally opposed to serving this business giving them my money

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because they're trying to steal from us. So all right,

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I'm gonna do it. You turn all right, we're gonna

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go back to the gas station. No, no, what's okay,

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We're back. We're hitting the road again. Road Trip brought

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trip episode. We just started the episode here. I mean, really, yeah,

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let's start it here. He didn't need the rest of

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that shit. We definitely hit something.

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Speaker 3: It was a hitchhiker. He's fine. Plus, our car's lighter

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than ever since you made.

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Speaker 1: Us drop my weight room back off of the house. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean we had to because we were making

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such bad gas miles and we would never been able

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to make it from gas station to gas station without it.

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Speaker 3: But you didn't listen to my other idea.

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Speaker 1: If we had stopped rented a fuel tank, we could

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have loaded it up with few and have been hauling fuel,

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thus expanding the lowering our game. No, this is a cybercruiser, Chris.

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This thing's got crazy towing capacity. Yeah. And also we're

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on several lists because just the name. All right, Chris,

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here's the thing. We're only just now leaving town. We

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just passed city limits, and we're already at each other's throats.

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So for the sake of this episode, Nope, we're gonna

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calm it down. I'm having a great time. Yeah, me too,

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So then stop fucking yelling. Okay, I'm just i don't

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want to get mad at us on the road track.

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I'm just saying I'm having a really good time. Cool,

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me too. You'll play the ABC game, The ABC game, Yeah,

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the ABC game where it's like you drive A past

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a road sign and then you keep trying to get

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words that start with A and then you go to

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B and then see like see look they're aries. You

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see that billboard advertising areas as services is the god

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of war for some reason. Now I just gotta look

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for beet bals above, bilds above see that, and then

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it's fun. Yeah oh yeah, uh c huh for car?

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, you gotta find the word castration,

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castration station.

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Speaker 1: You see that.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm done with this game.

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Speaker 1: This fucking sucks.

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Speaker 3: Wow, there's a really long line for what the castration station?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's super long. Oh yeah, they went viral on

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TikTok and now that everyone's going to their business. It's

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not worth the hype I've been. It's not great. You

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get any fun driving games? Chris, I spy, okay, I

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spy with my little eye. Something that is the color turtle? Okay?

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Was it the turtle? That green turtle? Back? Ah, you

248
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,679
got it. That's enough of the road games, all right,

249
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check the GPS. How far away are we from the

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camp site?

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Speaker 2: What was the Oh it's it's kind of a weird.

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I don't know if I plugged in. Actually, the camp site.

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Speaker 3: We've been following this path for quite some time now.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, it's fine, it's fine.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, pull them up.

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Speaker 2: Then I think I missed the turn, so I'm just

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gonna turn herround and then.

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Speaker 1: Okay, whoaa, this is a U turn. We're going in

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the opposite direction. Now, yeah, where are we going? We're

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going to the campsite.

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Speaker 2: We're going camping. Hey, I can't wait to get there.

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It's gonna be awesome.

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Speaker 3: Chris, did we go the wrong direction?

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Speaker 2: No, because the road trips are about the trip and

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not the destination. If pop culture has taught me anything.

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Speaker 3: It's in the name trip road trip.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is the Let's not get hung up on

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who was going what direction, and whether or not we're

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headed the opposite direction.

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Speaker 1: How about I strangle you with some jumper cables and

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drag your body behind the cybercruiser.

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Speaker 3: How does that sound? Does that sound like fun?

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Speaker 2: Then we're gonna lose a lot of time, Like we're

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never gonna make it if you do that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god? All right, great? Great. A hitchhiker over

276
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there and he ran into us, jumped out at us,

277
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like attacking. He attacked us. Yeah, well I saw his

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hands up in the air. Yeah, and we had a

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00:11:48,279 --> 00:11:50,840
stand our ground. Yeah, I mean he was waving them

280
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at us as if to say like stop, stop, I'm

281
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right here, do you see me?

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Speaker 3: But still it looked aggressive at first.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh yeah, like he was being a monster. Yeah,

284
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he could have been a month it could have been

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a monster, like a bear thing like yeah, yeah, we'll

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be fine.

287
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Speaker 3: It was a highway patrolling as navas.

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Speaker 2: I mean, no, it's out right. Yeah, it's not like

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they'll know what we did next summer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, like Smokey and the band of this shit,

291
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you know, and then maybe Thombo and Luis said, depending

292
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on if it goes really bad, Yeah, things go yeah yeah, okay, yeah,

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and that had happy ending.

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Speaker 3: Who thuming Louise didn't it?

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Speaker 1: I thought it was like a story of like lesbians

296
00:12:23,639 --> 00:12:25,960
holding hands. Yeah, I mean they'd been coming out. No,

297
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they died. They got chased by the police off of

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a cliff. Oh. Anyways, we're about like what seven eight

299
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hours from the camp sile seven miles until we get

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back home. Okay, so then let's we already know where

301
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we're going, because it's like we've already been there. I guess,

302
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do we need to stop and get anything and fill

303
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up while we're passing home again? I could get my

304
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:45,720
weight room. You're just saying.

305
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Speaker 3: You don't need these extra pants.

306
00:12:49,039 --> 00:12:50,879
Speaker 1: I could fit at least those are the pants I

307
00:12:50,919 --> 00:12:54,000
was wear fifty pounds of dumbbells. They're not extra pants.

308
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,320
If you take them off of me.

309
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Speaker 3: You were the one that ate the cinnamon and shit

310
00:12:57,279 --> 00:12:58,120
your pants at the begin with.

311
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Speaker 1: It's still good. It's still an at cinnabon.

312
00:13:00,919 --> 00:13:03,799
Speaker 3: Stop eating the shay cinnabun. Stop. Don't put that in

313
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,080
your mind. Don't put that in your mouth.

314
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Speaker 1: It's all I have. Spin it out. Okay, and we're

315
00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:11,840
back on the road. Actually, this is the most progress

316
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,240
we've made thus far. We're heading in the right direction. Yeah.

317
00:13:14,279 --> 00:13:17,759
Three hours, Yeah, three hours. Can I answer the crow flies?

318
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,759
It's like, what does that mean? That's the crow flies?

319
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,759
I don't know. We're driving though. This is not a

320
00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:25,039
flight this is a flightless vehicle. It's the cyber cruiser.

321
00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:27,639
Speaker 2: Like we're not racing crows or we're not in competition

322
00:13:27,919 --> 00:13:30,000
okay with the crows. But I guess that kind of

323
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,200
frames it in that way, if we're racing crows, we've

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lost already.

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Speaker 1: No, they're fast as well and they fly.

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Speaker 3: Hey, I want to take a quick.

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Speaker 1: Moment to talk about how proud I am of this

328
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,720
money milestone. You know, Chris and I have been really

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on top of our finances, allowing us to take this

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00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,879
wonderful vacation, and we want to thank Monarch for sponsoring

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335
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336
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saving up all my receipts, I've been able to rely

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Speaker 3: Okay, we're really moving? Where are we right now? We've

355
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,559
got like what three hours until the campsite? You brought

356
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:00,240
the ten right?

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Speaker 1: Why did you didn't tell a Thunders was like a

358
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:07,000
cabin situation. No, Chris, we're roughing it, I said, the

359
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:11,600
great outdoors. I'm not glamping, we're camping. Why don't we

360
00:15:11,639 --> 00:15:14,159
just build a cabin? Best of both worlds. You want

361
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,000
to build a cabin. You want to get there when

362
00:15:16,039 --> 00:15:18,519
it's like we're already late, so we're probably gonna getting

363
00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:19,519
there at about two.

364
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,360
Speaker 3: Am, and you want to just build a cabin. With

365
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,519
his pitch blackout.

366
00:15:22,559 --> 00:15:25,480
Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln did it. He's got his logs. I'm gonna

367
00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:28,399
drop a log in your fucking mouth while you're sleeping.

368
00:15:28,559 --> 00:15:32,720
We'll figure it out when we get there. Okay, we

369
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,720
are at the campsite. We had to bring out the

370
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,679
old bolt cutters because the campgrounds were closed. They went

371
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,200
home well over four hours ago. But that's okay. We

372
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:46,639
got our campsite. We're set ah those. Yeah, Unfortunately Hell

373
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,919
has decided that these are no longer protected lands. So

374
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:54,200
there's about seven or eight pump jacks surrounding us, drilling

375
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,679
for oil. But that'll help because on the way back,

376
00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,960
gas prices will be down. That's not a bad point.

377
00:15:59,039 --> 00:16:01,480
That's that Chris sopped that I love to see. Yeah,

378
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:05,440
we do not have our tinty, so you're just sleep

379
00:16:05,519 --> 00:16:07,799
in the car. I guess these seats reclining. Yeah, but

380
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:10,279
there's stuff in the back, not for mine. The driver's

381
00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:13,159
side seats got plenty of room. You could curl up

382
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,399
like a small cat, or maybe like lay on the ground.

383
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:17,399
There's some space down there. Get empty out the back

384
00:16:17,399 --> 00:16:18,840
seat and just like put put.

385
00:16:18,679 --> 00:16:20,919
Speaker 3: It where Chris put the things in their where.

386
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 1: Well, we could take him out of the car. I'm

387
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,879
not putting my Action figure collection outside. Someone's gonna steal that.

388
00:16:26,879 --> 00:16:29,159
That's valuable. There's no one here, and then we'll hear

389
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:33,679
them if they approached while we're sleeping in the car. No, Chris, Hey,

390
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,600
that's my PC tower. You're not putting that anywhere. I

391
00:16:36,679 --> 00:16:37,120
need that.

392
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 3: But why do you need it?

393
00:16:38,399 --> 00:16:40,559
Speaker 1: Like, who's gonna steal a computer in the middle of

394
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:45,000
a national park. A thief? I don't know. They're gonna say, wow, jackpot,

395
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,799
And don't touch that filing cabinet. Those are important documents.

396
00:16:48,159 --> 00:16:50,879
What is this? It's receipts. Receipts for what things that

397
00:16:50,919 --> 00:16:52,639
I've bought. I don't know. You never know when you're

398
00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:53,159
gonna need them.

399
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 2: Mostly just receipts for the things that are in this car. Yeah,

400
00:16:55,919 --> 00:16:57,559
do you not know that you bought the things that

401
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,080
we brought?

402
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,399
Speaker 1: What if we need to make a return. Oh no,

403
00:17:00,679 --> 00:17:03,399
these are important, Chris, don't touch my receipts. We're gonna

404
00:17:03,399 --> 00:17:08,319
close up filing cabinet. You're gonna sit upright ninety degrees. Okay,

405
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,839
maybe this will help with your snoring. I don't snore,

406
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,640
I do, So you get a fucking load of this.

407
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,440
All right, I'm gonna recline this baby back in.

408
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,680
Speaker 2: Okay, this is it, you know, like, hey, what's better

409
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,319
than the great outdoors?

410
00:17:21,519 --> 00:17:24,160
Speaker 3: It's right, I'm looking at the sun roof through the cybercruiser.

411
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,680
Speaker 1: Huh, beautiful sky. Look at that ground, look at Earth's crust.

412
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,599
Speaker 2: Do you ever think like stars are kind of just

413
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:33,279
roots because you know you can see the roots.

414
00:17:33,039 --> 00:17:35,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, like through the ground. And my eyes are closed,

415
00:17:35,599 --> 00:17:36,880
by the way, Chris, I know you want to do

416
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,400
the thing where you look in the sky and you talk.

417
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,799
But I'm you know, I'm good to sleep, Yeah you are? No? No, No,

418
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,359
I am too. I'm sleepy. Bad night, Chris, Good night.

419
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,400
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if it's really night. It's kind

420
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,039
of subjective in how what because you're in the center

421
00:17:50,079 --> 00:17:52,640
of the earth, right, yeah, so it's like you're equidescent

422
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,039
form where the sun is, so, like, is it night?

423
00:17:55,319 --> 00:17:58,039
Speaker 1: Really? Did you eat a mushroom out there that we

424
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,599
found in the wilderness or something?

425
00:17:59,599 --> 00:18:00,799
Speaker 3: What do you talking about?

426
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,119
Speaker 1: No, I did eat the mushroom. I did shit out

427
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,200
but cinemon okay, and it was in some mushrooms. I'm

428
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,119
just saying, think about time I don't want to think

429
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:08,519
about time.

430
00:18:08,519 --> 00:18:10,799
Speaker 3: I want to think about going to fucking sleep.

431
00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 1: We're behind schedule, all right, so we're gonna have to

432
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,839
cut drive time into our sleeping schedule. So I'm probably

433
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,160
only gonna get like maximum five hours tonight. Sorry, sorry,

434
00:18:21,319 --> 00:18:22,319
I'm done, all right.

435
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,079
Speaker 3: Bad night, Chris, bad night, good night.

436
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,920
Speaker 1: Did you hear that? Did you hear like the no? Nope,

437
00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:30,799
it sounded like some sort of creature like I don't

438
00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:34,200
know where with that? Do you hear that sound? It's fine,

439
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,160
we're in the car. Yeah, it's fine. The cybercruisers impenetrable.

440
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,319
We're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay. Okay, what

441
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,960
was that? Yeah? I don't know. That's what I'm saying.

442
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,200
It's like sounded like a bear. Can you go check

443
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,720
and what? Report back? Yeah? Scare it off, come back.

444
00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:50,279
I need to get sleep here. We'll do shifts tomorrow.

445
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,079
I get sleep now. You scare off whatever that monster

446
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,440
is outside, and then you'll sleep while I drive.

447
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,079
Speaker 3: Bad night, Chris, bad night, Chris, good night.

448
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 1: Good time. I want guilt.

449
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,839
Speaker 3: Okay, I think he's done.

450
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,839
Speaker 1: I think he's dead. All right, quick update for the listeners.

451
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,839
It was that hitchhiker that we hit earlier. We've been

452
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,880
dragging him for apparently the last god knows how many miles.

453
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,640
It's true to his name. He did hitch the ride

454
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,599
with shit a own. Yeah he's dead. All right, I'm

455
00:19:17,599 --> 00:19:19,880
gonna go to sleep now. There was no monster under

456
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,599
our bed. It was the monster under a car. But

457
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:27,440
he's gone now. Bad night, Chris, Oh my god. Oh

458
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:32,400
that was an incredible sleep. Chris, here's wake up, guys. No,

459
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,640
it's morning time. It's morning time, wake up, wake up.

460
00:19:35,319 --> 00:19:37,920
That's what I think I like about camping is you know,

461
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,400
it just seems like the world passes you by.

462
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and you get to slow down and

463
00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:46,000
really see things like slower speed.

464
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,319
Speaker 1: And yeah, the world does kind of feel like it's

465
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,880
passing by, kind of like the is that the castration station? Yeah?

466
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,079
Am I sleep talking? Or we oh man? Maybe those mushrooms?

467
00:19:55,079 --> 00:19:59,240
Aretick can't the car's moving, Chris, Oh, oh, oh my god?

468
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:06,319
Whoa do you want to play the ice bin or

469
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:10,119
the No? No, I don't abe, shut the fuck up.

470
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,799
That's Jackson five. Okay, quick update for our listeners. I

471
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:18,920
Chris figures Chris left the Cybercruiser and docking mode.

472
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 3: So last night, even though it.

473
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,799
Speaker 1: No longer runs on batteries, it felt the need to

474
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,759
reconnect to the home battery charging station, so it started

475
00:20:28,839 --> 00:20:30,519
driving us back to our house in the middle of

476
00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:34,119
the night. So we're basically back to square one. Yeah,

477
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:39,119
we're back at the city limits. But you know, go ahead, Chris,

478
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,519
tell me what the bright side of this is.

479
00:20:40,559 --> 00:20:44,519
Speaker 2: Go ahead, We'll get to experience the road trip like

480
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,440
we just had the greatest night sleep out, enjoying a

481
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:51,039
beautiful camping site, right yeah, and now we're.

482
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: Ready to go back.

483
00:20:52,799 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 3: So to keep on schedule, we have to drive for two.

484
00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:01,559
Speaker 1: Days straight, only allowing four gas stop when necessary. There

485
00:21:01,599 --> 00:21:04,200
will be no sleeping breaks. We will have to shit

486
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,920
and piss up the window and drive in turns in

487
00:21:07,039 --> 00:21:10,880
order to meet our deadline and get our campsite reservation.

488
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 3: It's no, it's not, Chris, very good observation.

489
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 1: No it's not. If I kind of just want to

490
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,039
drive in silence. I know it for a good podcast,

491
00:21:18,079 --> 00:21:20,200
that does not make but your voice is so shrill

492
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,519
and obnoxious right now, Chris, I just yeah, wait a second,

493
00:21:23,559 --> 00:21:26,319
what did you see that? What we just passed a

494
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:31,160
sign for Hell's biggest national park and it's like five

495
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,720
miles that way. When did this open? I didn't even

496
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,319
know this. What did they have a park open up

497
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:36,160
over here? I don't know.

498
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 2: I don't know why we're going to big Bend over

499
00:21:38,079 --> 00:21:39,839
when we could have been going to the Hell's biggest

500
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:40,759
national park.

501
00:21:41,079 --> 00:21:42,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god. Okay, hold on, I'm gonna think

502
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,440
of you. Turn. Yeah, sure as shit, there's a sign

503
00:21:45,799 --> 00:21:50,640
National park. Okay, now open, all right, we're five minutes dude. Hey, Chris,

504
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:55,079
road tip my road trip. We're back. Oh man. Oh

505
00:21:55,079 --> 00:21:57,640
we're zooming, dude. We're gonna get there with good time.

506
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,680
We're gonna be able to like set up a camp.

507
00:21:59,799 --> 00:22:02,359
We're gonna go hiking. We have time for hiking, Chris,

508
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,359
oh man, and like think of the sites. It's the

509
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,920
biggest national park and all of hell. That's crazy. Oh

510
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,119
my god, what luck? You know?

511
00:22:09,599 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 3: It all worked out.

512
00:22:10,559 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: Falling asleep in the car driving us back to our home.

513
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,839
It sucked, but like it was worth it because now

514
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,440
we're going to the biggest national park in Hell. Yeah,

515
00:22:18,519 --> 00:22:21,640
and we have everything we need everything. Yeah, we restocked,

516
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,960
we're fresh, we got full batteries, all right, and hey,

517
00:22:25,039 --> 00:22:27,359
plenty at cinebuds, like they're just so good.

518
00:22:27,559 --> 00:22:30,279
Speaker 3: You did eat the addiction cinebun Oh yeah, that's right.

519
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have, but I was like, hey, I don't

520
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,519
have an addictive personality.

521
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 3: No, no, no.

522
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,799
Speaker 1: Plus, I mean, hey, we're gonna be doing so much

523
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,680
hiking at the biggest national park that like you're gonna

524
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,400
need those counties. Yeah, I'm carbo loading. Is that what

525
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,079
it's called. Sure, that's what we'll call it. Yeah. Hey,

526
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:50,119
look there is plenty of parking plenty. Wow, oh my god,

527
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,119
look at this size of this lot. Yeah, it's huge.

528
00:22:53,519 --> 00:22:55,519
We should get closer to that front. Yeah, you know

529
00:22:55,599 --> 00:22:57,839
that we have to carry all the stuff, yeah, all

530
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,680
the campus supplies. Okay, oh wait, if we turn here,

531
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,720
maybe this is no, no, a lot of parking.

532
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 2: But the good thing is it doesn't look that busy

533
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,400
because there's so much empty parking.

534
00:23:07,559 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a big parking lot. More room for us

535
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:11,519
on the hiking trails. Half.

536
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're gonna get first DIBs.

537
00:23:13,039 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 1: You know what, parking between two lines?

538
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:15,519
Speaker 3: What the hell?

539
00:23:15,599 --> 00:23:17,759
Speaker 1: Why not? We're already down here, you know? Fuck it

540
00:23:17,799 --> 00:23:20,000
all right? Wow, where is the entrance?

541
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 3: I do not see it?

542
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,559
Speaker 1: This is massive, large parking lot. Maybe there's a park ranger.

543
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,480
What was the name? It said it was the biggest park,

544
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,319
biggest national park. What was the name though, the name

545
00:23:31,319 --> 00:23:32,960
of the national park. I'll look it up. I'll look

546
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:33,200
it up.

547
00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 3: All right, great, you look it up.

548
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,759
Speaker 1: I'm still driving a lot of spots open. What's up? Now?

549
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,519
Where is it? Hey? We did it. We're at the

550
00:23:41,559 --> 00:23:45,559
biggest national parking lot, like.

551
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 3: For the biggest national park.

552
00:23:47,559 --> 00:23:49,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you mean? It certainly is lots of

553
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,000
places at the park and it is big. Are you

554
00:23:53,039 --> 00:23:55,759
saying that the biggest national park is in fact the

555
00:23:55,799 --> 00:24:01,960
biggest national parking lot? Yeah? Got it? Okay, Hey, look,

556
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,160
plenty of space to set up the tent. Oh wait, no,

557
00:24:05,279 --> 00:24:07,279
we left the tent. I guess we could pop the

558
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:10,559
back open and tailgate. I don't know what we're yeah, hey, hey,

559
00:24:10,559 --> 00:24:15,279
give me a hot bruski. Yeah, tailgate, tailgate. I'm just

560
00:24:15,279 --> 00:24:17,880
gonna park right here in this spot. It's the I think,

561
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,119
the very center of this entire thing, and is ladies

562
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,799
and gentlemen listening. This is the largest slab of concrete

563
00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:26,079
I've ever seen in my life.

564
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,759
Speaker 3: It is as far as I can see.

565
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:30,279
Speaker 1: I don't even see the city beyond the size of

566
00:24:30,279 --> 00:24:30,960
this parking lot.

567
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just cement as far as I can see.

568
00:24:34,599 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 1: It's worse than Houston. Yeah, we're parked by the only

569
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,160
street light in the entire place. Well, hey, hey, hey

570
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,599
me a hot miller lowlife. This is the life, right

571
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,200
or death? Chris. Let's just let's just go home. Well,

572
00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:50,279
I've now been drinking. I don't think I should drive.

573
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,599
Do'll drive us home? Let's go home. Y, I guess

574
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:53,559
this is only I play that.

575
00:24:54,079 --> 00:24:54,839
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening.

576
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hail Clayton, thank you for listening to another episode

577
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:02,759
of Good Morning from Oh I've been blamed. That's been Chris,

578
00:25:03,039 --> 00:25:06,039
and this has been our summer vacation.

579
00:25:08,559 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 2: We had a lot of fun with the back Room's episode,

580
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,359
and everyone commented saying.

581
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,279
Speaker 1: That they liked it, so thank you. Hey, if you

582
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,519
leave comments, we read, whether or not we respond, I

583
00:25:18,599 --> 00:25:20,279
promise you we read them.

584
00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:22,079
Speaker 2: Sorry, that made it some it sounds like a threat.

585
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,480
We don't read them like that. But yeah, yeah, I

586
00:25:24,599 --> 00:25:26,319
got a lot of comments saying that people want more,

587
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,440
so we want to try a little summer vacation trip.

588
00:25:28,559 --> 00:25:30,519
Speaker 1: These are easy to record. They're like a lot more

589
00:25:30,559 --> 00:25:32,799
fast and lose some fun. And we still have lots

590
00:25:32,799 --> 00:25:35,799
of guests booked. But believe it or not, summer people

591
00:25:35,839 --> 00:25:39,000
are busy, so we shouldn't spoil who's gonna be coming on.

592
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 2: But no, no, we should because then we're excited about

593
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,880
some of the people I'm coming on. But we're gonna

594
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,640
go talk about our worst vacation.

595
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,759
Speaker 1: Since ever, and there are lots of them.

596
00:25:46,839 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, and actually have one that I'm debating whether or

597
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,640
not I should say, because I've never admitted to it publicly,

598
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:52,920
certainly not on camera.

599
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,640
Speaker 1: What okay? All right? All right, well check that out

600
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,319
over a Good Morning from hell dot com. Join our Patreon,

601
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,720
support the show, and get access to why We're going

602
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,319
to Hell. We're going to go record that now, Bye bye,