WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.240 --> 00:00:03.319 I want to greet all of our campuses and those 2 00:00:03.319 --> 00:00:06.639 who are watching online. And you know, I am having 3 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:09.679 so much fun visiting all of our campus. As I 4 00:00:09.720 --> 00:00:12.839 mentioned about a month ago, we now have more members 5 00:00:12.839 --> 00:00:15.439 of our church family not at lake Forest than we 6 00:00:15.519 --> 00:00:18.600 do at lake Forest, and so I've been traveling all 7 00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:22.079 around visiting each of our campuses every week. 8 00:00:21.920 --> 00:00:23.120 And that's been a whole lot of fun. 9 00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:31.760 Recently, somebody wrote me this on Facebook, Pastor Rick, I've 10 00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:36.679 walked down many roads searching for happiness, but nothing is 11 00:00:36.759 --> 00:00:40.600 ever as good as it promises to be. I'm frustrated. 12 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:45.520 I just want to be happy. Can you help me? 13 00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:49.000 And I would say to that person, if you're watching 14 00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:51.560 online right now, absolutely I can help you. 15 00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:53.280 I want to. 16 00:00:53.240 --> 00:00:55.880 Start this series by giving you what I call five 17 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:59.039 laws of happiness. And I apologize that I didn't put 18 00:00:59.079 --> 00:01:01.679 space in your outline for this, so you're just gonna 19 00:01:01.719 --> 00:01:03.560 have to write on the sides up down the edge 20 00:01:03.560 --> 00:01:06.599 because it's not on your outline. I added this after 21 00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:09.239 I wrote the outline, but I thought it would be 22 00:01:09.239 --> 00:01:11.560 a good introduction to this series that we're going to 23 00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:16.920 begin this week, five Laws of Happiness. When somebody says 24 00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:20.239 I've been searching for happiness. I've been looking for happiness. 25 00:01:20.319 --> 00:01:23.280 I want to find happiness. This is what I tell them. 26 00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:30.799 Number one, don't look for happiness, create it. Happiness is 27 00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:34.319 not something you look for. Happiness is something you create, 28 00:01:36.959 --> 00:01:40.439 and it's your choice. You're as happy as you choose 29 00:01:40.599 --> 00:01:44.079 to be. Actually, it's quite easy created, and we're going 30 00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:46.599 to be looking at it in this series. Number two, 31 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:52.760 happiness is not a goal. Happiness is not a goal. 32 00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:58.239 It's actually the result of right thinking, right living, right acting. 33 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:02.879 It's the bip. If you make happiness the goal of 34 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:07.200 your life, you're going to live a very self centered life, 35 00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:10.360 and that's going to end up making you miserable. Making 36 00:02:10.439 --> 00:02:13.759 happiness the goal of your life will guarantee that you're 37 00:02:13.759 --> 00:02:18.080 never going to be happy happiest. Happiness is never the goal. 38 00:02:18.439 --> 00:02:22.080 It is always the result. It's always the byproduct of 39 00:02:22.159 --> 00:02:25.479 something else, and so if you make it your goal, 40 00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:30.439 you're going to be miserable. Number three, My habits create 41 00:02:31.479 --> 00:02:36.879 my happiness. My habits create my happiness. Happiness is a choice. 42 00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:41.400 We shape our habits and then they shape us, and 43 00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:43.599 we're going to look at this in detail in this 44 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:46.199 new series. How we shape our habits, and then our 45 00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:49.280 habits shape us, and you can create the habits of 46 00:02:49.319 --> 00:02:51.280 happiness in your life. 47 00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:53.159 Number four fourth. 48 00:02:52.960 --> 00:03:00.080 Law, Happiness based on happenings is temporary, but happiness built. 49 00:02:59.800 --> 00:03:01.879 On habits is long lasting. 50 00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:06.719 I'll say it again, happiness that is built on happenings 51 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:09.639 is temporary. I go to Disneyland, I'm happy. I come 52 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:13.879 out realize how much money spend. I'm not happy. I 53 00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:15.960 have the happiness of going to see a movie. Everybody's 54 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:17.879 telling me is great. It's not so great. I come 55 00:03:17.879 --> 00:03:23.800 out not happy, disappointed. Anything where you base your happiness 56 00:03:23.800 --> 00:03:27.280 on a happening, on a circumstance, on an occasion, as 57 00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:30.000 soon as the occasion's over, you lose your happiness, so 58 00:03:30.039 --> 00:03:34.039 you don't want that. Happiness based on happenings is short term. 59 00:03:34.199 --> 00:03:39.560 It's temporary. Happiness based on habits is long term. You 60 00:03:39.639 --> 00:03:42.719 can be happy the rest of your life. Number five 61 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:45.960 fifth law is this. Happy habits are as addicting as 62 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:49.439 bad habits, but they are a whole lot more rewarding. 63 00:03:50.919 --> 00:03:55.120 There aren't the negatives that are given to bad habits. Now, 64 00:03:55.159 --> 00:03:57.479 bad habits take some time to develop. You don't develop 65 00:03:57.560 --> 00:04:00.240 them overnight, and the same thing with good habits, you 66 00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:03.800 don't develop them overnight, but happiness and the habits of 67 00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:09.039 happiness can be developed so that they become habitual in 68 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:12.599 your life. Now this weekend, we're beginning this new series 69 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:15.840 I'm calling the Habits of Happiness. And what we're going 70 00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:17.879 to do is we're going to go through the Book 71 00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:22.959 of Philippians, verse by verse, through the books, through the 72 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:26.720 chapters of Philippians. Now, Philippians is a great book. It's 73 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:30.360 the happiest book in the Bible. The word joy, the 74 00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:34.240 word glad, the word enjoy, the word rejoice, of the 75 00:04:34.279 --> 00:04:38.439 word happy, happiness, these words that are used in various 76 00:04:38.519 --> 00:04:42.240 forms seventeen times in a very short book. It's the 77 00:04:42.279 --> 00:04:45.959 happiest book in the Bible. It was written by Paul. 78 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:48.160 And what's amazing that this happiest book in the Bible 79 00:04:48.199 --> 00:04:51.319 is written by Paul while he's in prison in Rome, 80 00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:54.839 which means your happiness isn't based on your happenings or 81 00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:57.920 your happenstances. And actually what this book is is a 82 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:02.199 thank you note Paul writing to the church in Philippi, 83 00:05:02.279 --> 00:05:05.399 which is a city in Greece that he started, he planted. 84 00:05:05.720 --> 00:05:08.519 He's now in prison in Rome, and he's writing to 85 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:11.360 thank them. He's thanking them for financial gifts that they've 86 00:05:11.399 --> 00:05:14.120 given to him. He's fine thanking them for their prayers, 87 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:16.839 for their support, for their love, all these things. And 88 00:05:17.079 --> 00:05:20.959 it's actually the most personal book in the Bible. And 89 00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:23.000 we're going to look at it together for the next 90 00:05:23.079 --> 00:05:26.199 twelve weeks as we go verse by verse through the 91 00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:30.240 Book of Philippians. Now, I want to encourage you to 92 00:05:30.240 --> 00:05:32.040 bring your Bible with you because you can mark it 93 00:05:32.120 --> 00:05:34.600 up as we go straight through the chapters like we 94 00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:38.560 do this. If you want to be happy, where do 95 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:41.480 you start? I mean, really, what would you start with? 96 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:44.600 Money? Sex, time? What would you start with? 97 00:05:44.759 --> 00:05:47.240 You say, we need to learn how to be really 98 00:05:47.319 --> 00:05:55.720 happy in life, Paul starts with relationships. With relationships, it 99 00:05:55.839 --> 00:06:01.040 is impossible to be happy while your relationship are unhappy. 100 00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:04.160 Iver I agree with that. I mean, you can meet 101 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:05.839 all kinds of people. They've got all kinds of money, 102 00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:07.600 they've got all kinds of fame, they've got every kind 103 00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:10.000 of pleasure you can imagine. But if they're in the 104 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:14.160 middle of a divorce, they're not happy. If your relationships 105 00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:18.319 are unhappy, your life is going to be unhappy. So 106 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:21.839 Paul when he starts talking about and modeling the Habits 107 00:06:21.879 --> 00:06:24.360 of Happiness, he begins right off the bat the first 108 00:06:24.360 --> 00:06:28.079 eleven verses of Philippians chapter one, talking about how do 109 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:31.560 you have happy relationships? How do you have healthy relationships? 110 00:06:31.639 --> 00:06:33.480 So we've got to start here before we can go 111 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:36.759 anywhere else in the Habits of Happiness. Now, in the 112 00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:41.600 first eleven verses, Paul makes his description of his relationship. 113 00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:45.000 He describes his relationship to the people of Philippi, and 114 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:48.560 he gives us four statements. And we're going to come 115 00:06:48.600 --> 00:06:52.360 back and look at these as habits you can develop 116 00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:55.959 to have healthier, happier relationships. 117 00:06:56.040 --> 00:06:57.720 Let me read it to you, Philippians chapter one. 118 00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:02.319 This letter is from Paul and Timothy, slaves of Jesus Christ. 119 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:06.000 It's written to all of God's people and Philippi who 120 00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:09.920 believe in Jesus Christ, and the elders and the deacons 121 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:14.240 of the church. May God, our Father and Lord Jesus 122 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:18.920 Christ give you grace and peace. That's his introduction. Now 123 00:07:18.920 --> 00:07:21.680 he gets into his first subject. He says, every time 124 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:26.560 I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 125 00:07:27.959 --> 00:07:31.120 I always pray for you, and I make my request 126 00:07:31.160 --> 00:07:33.680 with a heart full of joy because you've been my 127 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:36.279 partners and spreading the good news about Christ from the 128 00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:39.920 time you first heard it until now. And I am 129 00:07:40.040 --> 00:07:44.079 confident that God, who began this good work within you, 130 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:47.240 will continue his work until it's finally finished on the 131 00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:49.480 day when Jesus Christ comes back again. 132 00:07:50.959 --> 00:07:53.439 Now it's right that I should feel. 133 00:07:53.160 --> 00:07:55.879 As I do about all of you, for you have 134 00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:59.079 a very special place in my heart. 135 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:01.399 We've shared together. 136 00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:03.879 The blessings of God, both when I was in prison, 137 00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:06.519 when I was out defending the truth and telling others. 138 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:06.839 The good news. 139 00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:10.800 God knows how much I love you and how I 140 00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:13.040 long for you. Can't you see the personal nature of 141 00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:15.160 this book how much I love you and long for 142 00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:19.079 you With the tender compassion of Christ. Jesus and I 143 00:08:19.199 --> 00:08:24.120 pray that your love for each other will overflow more 144 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:26.759 and more. And I pray that you will keep on 145 00:08:26.839 --> 00:08:29.279 growing in your knowledge and understanding, for I want you 146 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:34.240 to understand what really matters, so that you may live 147 00:08:34.360 --> 00:08:38.720 pure and blameless lives until Christ returns. And may you 148 00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:43.320 always be filled with the fruit of your salvation, those 149 00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:47.600 good things that are produced in your life by Jesus Christ, 150 00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:52.879 for this will bring much glory and praise to God. 151 00:08:53.360 --> 00:08:58.200 Now in the first eleven verses of Philippians, Paul models 152 00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:04.159 four relational habits that if you will just practice these things, 153 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:10.639 your relationships will be more enjoyable and your happiness. 154 00:09:10.080 --> 00:09:10.840 Will be greater. 155 00:09:11.480 --> 00:09:15.360 They are easy to explain, they are simple to understand, 156 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:21.000 but they are incredibly hard to do because when I 157 00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:22.360 tell you these you go, oh, yeah, I know this, 158 00:09:22.440 --> 00:09:26.799 I know this, but you don't do it. And so 159 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:30.080 although it's easy for me to teach them, it's very 160 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:33.519 hard for all of us to practice them. But if 161 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:37.519 you will do these four relational habits, and you'll build 162 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:42.320 them in your life, your relationships will be transformed. 163 00:09:43.639 --> 00:09:47.120 And you'll be happy. All right, let's look at it first. 164 00:09:47.200 --> 00:09:47.720 Number one. 165 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:50.320 To be happy, The first thing Paul says is this, 166 00:09:50.919 --> 00:09:54.840 I must be grateful for the people in my life. 167 00:09:55.919 --> 00:09:59.240 I must be grateful for the people in my life. 168 00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:02.480 Study after study after study after study after study link 169 00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:07.639 gratitude to happiness. It's been proven over and over by psychologists, sociologists, 170 00:10:07.639 --> 00:10:10.519 and others that the more grateful you are, the more 171 00:10:10.600 --> 00:10:13.639 happy you are. The more ungrateful you are, the more 172 00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:16.720 unhappy you are. And if you want to have good relationships. 173 00:10:16.759 --> 00:10:19.720 You start with the attitude of gratitude, you will be 174 00:10:19.799 --> 00:10:22.759 far happier. You will enjoy your relationships more if you 175 00:10:22.799 --> 00:10:27.440 will develop the habit of being grateful for the people 176 00:10:27.480 --> 00:10:29.960 in your life. The habit of being grateful for the 177 00:10:29.960 --> 00:10:32.919 people in your life. Filippians, Chapter one, verse three. Paul 178 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:36.000 starts off with this, this very first thing. Every time 179 00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:39.919 I think of you, I remember he's in Rome. They're 180 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:42.799 in a city called Philippi. Every time I think of you, 181 00:10:43.799 --> 00:10:48.519 I give thanks. I give thanks to my God. Paul says, 182 00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:51.399 you know what, I remember the good things about you, 183 00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:54.960 and I focus on the good times we've had friends. 184 00:10:55.360 --> 00:11:00.960 That simple truth right there is the source of good relationships. 185 00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:07.120 And when marriages stop doing this, they crumble. When you 186 00:11:07.159 --> 00:11:10.039 stop remembering why you got married in the first place, 187 00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:15.200 what attracted you to that person. When you stop remembering 188 00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:19.000 the good times, when you stop being grateful for your mate, 189 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:22.919 your marriage is already on a long slide into oblivion. 190 00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.720 Paul says, every time I think of you, I give 191 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:27.919 thanks to God for you. 192 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:29.600 Let me ask you, just be real, honest. 193 00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:33.440 When you think of the people in your life, do 194 00:11:33.519 --> 00:11:36.440 you automatically is your first thought gratitude. 195 00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:38.720 No, it's not. 196 00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:42.480 No, it's what do they need to do for me? 197 00:11:42.960 --> 00:11:46.399 Are they late? Are they in a hurry? Uh? What's 198 00:11:46.480 --> 00:11:48.720 not right? What have we had a problem with? What 199 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:51.039 have we got to get done? Your first thought is 200 00:11:51.080 --> 00:11:52.879 not gratitude, Paul says. When I think of you, the 201 00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:55.360 first thing I do is I think your gratitude. I'm 202 00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:57.639 grateful for who you are. I'm grateful for what you've done. 203 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:01.960 Now here's the problem with us. The problem with this 204 00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:06.399 is the longer you know someone number one you take them, 205 00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:07.600 the more you take them for granted. 206 00:12:07.799 --> 00:12:08.519 Isn't that true. 207 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:11.320 The longer you know someone, the more you take them 208 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:15.399 for granted, the more you focus on their faults, and 209 00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:17.799 the easier it is to remember bad times. I don't 210 00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:20.159 know why it is, but it's easier to remember baptimes 211 00:12:20.159 --> 00:12:24.399 than it is happy times. Paul says, every time I 212 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:26.919 think of you, I give thanks. If you would just 213 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:29.480 develop this habit that whenever you think of the people 214 00:12:29.480 --> 00:12:33.320 in your life, your friends, your neighbors, your husband, your wife, 215 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:38.559 your kids, your relatives, whatever, that the first thought is gratitude. 216 00:12:39.559 --> 00:12:43.159 It's going to change your relationship. Now, that's a habit 217 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:46.559 you have to develop. It does not come natural. We 218 00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:50.519 are not by nature grateful people. We are by nature 219 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:55.159 discontented people. We are by nature always wanting more, wanting 220 00:12:55.200 --> 00:12:58.919 things to be different. Philippians, Chapter one, verse five. Paul 221 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:02.919 says it again, I thank God, I thank God for 222 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:06.840 the help that you gave me. Now, if you know 223 00:13:06.879 --> 00:13:09.159 the story of this church that he started, there there 224 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:11.679 was a woman named Lydia who was a businesswoman who 225 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:13.399 opened up her home, and he says, from the very 226 00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:16.320 first day, you welcomed us, and you helped us. 227 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:17.080 From the very first day. 228 00:13:17.080 --> 00:13:20.039 And then, as I said several times in Paul's travels, 229 00:13:20.279 --> 00:13:25.159 the Philippian Church was funding Paul's missionaries journeys, and in 230 00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:28.000 this particular instance, they had son, a man named of Paphroditis, 231 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:30.360 all the way to Rome to bring him a financial gift, 232 00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:33.600 because Paul was in Rome by himself in prison. And 233 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:36.200 if Paphordita said nearly died on the way, we'll get 234 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:39.120 to that later in the book. And now Paul is 235 00:13:39.159 --> 00:13:41.840 sending him back with this thank you note to the 236 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:45.320 people in Philippi, and he says, I thank God for the. 237 00:13:45.320 --> 00:13:46.440 Help you gave me. 238 00:13:47.960 --> 00:13:50.480 I just wonder what is it that you have forgotten 239 00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:55.159 that other people have done for you. Again, the longer 240 00:13:55.200 --> 00:13:57.440 you know someone, the more you take them for granted, 241 00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:00.840 the more you look for their faults, and the more 242 00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:04.480 it's easy to remember the bad things than the good things. See, 243 00:14:04.519 --> 00:14:06.960 the truth is about Paul and Philippi. He didn't have 244 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:10.559 a good time in Philippi. In fact, it was one 245 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:14.720 of his roughest churches getting started. But you don't get 246 00:14:14.759 --> 00:14:17.960 any of that in this letter. The fact is when 247 00:14:17.960 --> 00:14:20.360 Paul went to the city to start a church, he 248 00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:27.720 was beaten, he was whipped, he was humiliated, he was 249 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:32.720 falsely arrested, he was thrown in a prison, he went 250 00:14:32.759 --> 00:14:35.519 through an earthquake, and then he was politely asked by 251 00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:36.080 the city. 252 00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:36.919 Leaders to leave town. 253 00:14:39.320 --> 00:14:41.600 When I thank God for you, I think of you, 254 00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:44.559 I thank God for you, what is he doing? He 255 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:50.000 is choosing selective memory. This was not a happy place 256 00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:53.320 all the time. It wasn't all sunshine and lollipops and 257 00:14:53.440 --> 00:14:56.200 roses and rainbows in my little Pony. It was a 258 00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:59.480 lot of bad stuff. It happened, but Paul chose not 259 00:14:59.639 --> 00:15:04.759 to on painful memories. Are you still living some painful 260 00:15:04.799 --> 00:15:06.600 memories with some people in your life. You've never let 261 00:15:06.600 --> 00:15:11.159 them off the hook, and you can't enjoy a relationship 262 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:13.799 because you're still holding on to the past. Would you 263 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:20.159 write this down? Memories are a choice. Memories are a choice. 264 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:22.919 I remember hearing a story one time about two women 265 00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:26.960 talking and one of the wives said to the other 266 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:29.799 wife said, don't you remember that time when your husband 267 00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:31.799 did da da da da da da da, And she said, 268 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:40.320 I distinctly remember forgetting that. That's a choice. Your memories 269 00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:42.600 are a choice. Now, if you want to hold onto 270 00:15:42.600 --> 00:15:45.039 your painful memories, go right ahead, but you're not going 271 00:15:45.080 --> 00:15:48.919 to be happy. Paul had a lot of reasons that 272 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:52.360 painful memories in Philippi. It was not a happy time 273 00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:55.399 for everything that happened there. So they said, beaten, maligned 274 00:15:55.480 --> 00:15:58.720 and all these things. But he says, every time I 275 00:15:58.759 --> 00:16:01.200 think of you, I thank God for you. He's choosing 276 00:16:01.559 --> 00:16:04.240 to be grateful for the people in his life. 277 00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:04.919 Now. 278 00:16:05.240 --> 00:16:07.360 In this series, I'm going to give you what I 279 00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:10.320 call happiness hints, and I'm going to put a little 280 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:13.840 HH next to the next to these happiness hints. And 281 00:16:13.879 --> 00:16:15.240 here's the first one I get. I want to give 282 00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:21.120 you the whole series. Remember the best and forget the rest. 283 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:27.120 If you want to be happy, remember the best and 284 00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:33.440 forget the rest. Develop selective memory. By the way, September 285 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:36.679 twenty one is World Gratitude Day. 286 00:16:36.759 --> 00:16:37.360 Did you know that? 287 00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:42.759 It's World Gratitude Day according to the United Nations. So 288 00:16:42.919 --> 00:16:46.240 here's my assignment for you this weekend. I want you 289 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:48.080 to go home, make a list of the people in 290 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:50.840 your life and write down five or ten things you 291 00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:54.240 can say, I'm really grateful for these things in their lives. 292 00:16:55.679 --> 00:16:59.480 It's the first habit. The attitude of gratitude will transfer 293 00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:01.919 in relationship. If you're not grateful, you're going to have 294 00:17:01.960 --> 00:17:04.559 all kinds of complaining, worrying, all kinds of other things. 295 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:07.240 I've got to be grateful for the people in my life. 296 00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:12.440 Number two, the second habit of happiness in relational happiness 297 00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:14.720 is this, I need to not only be grateful for 298 00:17:14.759 --> 00:17:16.720 the people in my life. I need to pray with 299 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:21.519 joy for the people in my life. I need to 300 00:17:21.559 --> 00:17:25.519 pray joyfully. I need to pray with joy for the 301 00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:29.480 people in my life. Now Paul is praying as we 302 00:17:29.640 --> 00:17:32.839 just read this passage, praying for these people. How would 303 00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:37.480 you like to have the apostle Paul praying for you. 304 00:17:37.480 --> 00:17:40.200 You think that would help the guy who wrote much 305 00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:41.920 of the New Testament, wouldn't you like? 306 00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:42.720 Don't you know. 307 00:17:42.680 --> 00:17:45.599 Those Philippians thought, Hey, this is pretty cool. Paul is 308 00:17:45.640 --> 00:17:49.839 praying for us. Doesn't it encourage you to know when 309 00:17:50.279 --> 00:17:53.720 somebody is praying for you? Yes, yes, it does. It 310 00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:57.839 encourages you. In fact, the thing that keeps me going 311 00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:01.799 is your prayers. And when people say I'm praying for you, 312 00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:05.359 pastor Rick, I take that serious because it's. 313 00:18:05.160 --> 00:18:06.119 What I move on. 314 00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:09.079 It is that power that I move on, Paul says. 315 00:18:09.119 --> 00:18:13.559 In verse four, he says this, I always pray for you. 316 00:18:13.559 --> 00:18:15.039 Now that's part of it. But notice the rest of 317 00:18:15.079 --> 00:18:18.319 the verse. And I make my request when he's praying 318 00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:21.599 for you, he says, with a heart full of joy. 319 00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:26.279 Now I want you to just a minute, think of somebody. 320 00:18:25.799 --> 00:18:28.240 Who irritates you. Don't look at them, just think of him. 321 00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:34.759 Okay, maybe somebody you've got a strained relationship with, or 322 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:38.599 they just kind of rub you the wrong way. I 323 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:40.960 have two questions for you. Number one, do you pray 324 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:41.359 for them? 325 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:44.200 Okay? Do you pray for it? 326 00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:49.680 Or do you just complain and grumble and nag a nitpick? 327 00:18:50.839 --> 00:18:52.200 If you prayed more. 328 00:18:52.039 --> 00:18:54.400 You'd have a lot less to grumble, complain, nag and 329 00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:59.000 nitpit about. So you can decide does nagging work? No? 330 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:00.880 Prayer work? Yes? 331 00:19:01.160 --> 00:19:02.599 So why do you do more of the thing that 332 00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:08.160 doesn't work than does? Paul says, I pray for you, 333 00:19:08.920 --> 00:19:10.640 and you need to pray for the people in your life. 334 00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:13.200 But then he says, I pray for you, making requests 335 00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:15.400 with a heartful of joy. When you do pray, do 336 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:19.599 you pray with joy? And let me give you a 337 00:19:19.640 --> 00:19:24.240 little secret here. There are things within people's lives around 338 00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:25.400 you you'd like to change. 339 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:29.799 You don't want to change yourself. You want them to change. 340 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:33.240 If she would just do this, if she would just 341 00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:35.960 do that, if he would just do this. And we 342 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:40.200 always want to change other people. You can't. You can't 343 00:19:40.279 --> 00:19:45.160 change anybody. You cannot change anybody. They can only change themselves, 344 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:47.960 and you can only change yourself. So all of that 345 00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:53.000 trying to change your change program doesn't work. But you 346 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:57.880 can pray, and God can change people. You might write 347 00:19:57.880 --> 00:20:03.720 this down. Positive praying is more effective than positive thinking. 348 00:20:08.039 --> 00:20:11.720 You know, people read all these books about positive thinking. Well, okay, 349 00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:13.960 there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, I'm sure I'd 350 00:20:14.039 --> 00:20:18.799 rather have you thinking positively than negatively. But all the 351 00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:21.519 positive thinking in the world isn't going to change your 352 00:20:21.599 --> 00:20:26.359 husband or your wife, or your child, or your friend 353 00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:27.759 or your situation. 354 00:20:27.960 --> 00:20:29.720 Positive thinking is not enough. 355 00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:33.359 Positive thinking can change you, but it can't change somebody else. 356 00:20:34.680 --> 00:20:35.920 But positive prayer can. 357 00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.640 So positive prayer is more powerful than positive thinking. So 358 00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:43.440 I want you to write this down. Here's my little 359 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:48.559 happiness hint. The quickest way to change a bad relationship 360 00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:53.839 to a good one. The quickest way start praying for them. 361 00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:57.559 Start praying for It'll change you and it can change them. 362 00:20:58.079 --> 00:21:00.799 Start praying for them. You say, well, what do I pray? Well, 363 00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:04.519 I would encourage you to pray what Paul prayed, and 364 00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:07.000 in verses nine to eleven, we have what Paul prayed. 365 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:10.640 Here's what he says, And this is my prayer. That 366 00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:12.799 your love may abound more and more in knowledge and 367 00:21:12.839 --> 00:21:16.039 depth of insight, so that you may be able to 368 00:21:16.039 --> 00:21:19.359 discern what is best, that you may be pure and 369 00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:21.720 blameless until the day of Christ, and that you may 370 00:21:21.720 --> 00:21:24.559 be filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through 371 00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:26.880 Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God. What 372 00:21:26.920 --> 00:21:29.039 does he say four things you can pray, write these 373 00:21:29.079 --> 00:21:32.319 down four things pray, and I would say, pray these 374 00:21:32.319 --> 00:21:35.960 for your kids. Pray these for your friends, Pray these 375 00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:39.000 for your boyfriend, your girlfriend, Pray these for your boss, 376 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:42.039 Pray these for me, anybody. 377 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:42.200 You care about. 378 00:21:42.359 --> 00:21:44.480 Pray with joy for the people in your life, and 379 00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:47.200 you pray these four things. First, pray they will grow 380 00:21:47.319 --> 00:21:53.640 in love. Pray that they will grow in love. Paul 381 00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:58.480 says that your love will grow more and more. Number two, 382 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:04.359 he says, pray that they will make wise choices. Pray 383 00:22:05.559 --> 00:22:09.319 that the people in your life, in your family, and 384 00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:11.279 your friends and your neighbor, Pray that they will make 385 00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:12.319 wise choices. 386 00:22:13.240 --> 00:22:15.200 Verse nine to ten says that you will. 387 00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:18.000 Know and fully. 388 00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:19.839 Know and understand how to make the right choices. 389 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:23.079 Third thing to pray for the people in your life, 390 00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:28.480 pray they will live with integrity. Pray that they will 391 00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:37.279 live with integrity. Paul says, I pray that you may 392 00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:42.079 live pure and blameless lives until Christ returns. And the 393 00:22:42.119 --> 00:22:45.640 fourth thing to pray is pray that they will become 394 00:22:46.119 --> 00:22:54.359 like Jesus. Parents. There's your prayer agenda right there. Husbands, wives, friends, 395 00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.599 there's your prayer agenda right there, pray that they will 396 00:22:56.640 --> 00:22:59.759 become like Christ. Verse eleven, that you will be filled 397 00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:03.480 with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ 398 00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:05.920 to the glory and praise of God. 399 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:07.880 Circle the word fruits. What the fruits he. 400 00:23:07.880 --> 00:23:10.279 Talk about there, well, we call it the fruit of 401 00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:13.640