Speaker 1: The world is big and scary, even when you're extraordinary.
Speaker 2: When life won't.
Speaker 1: Go as planned, we all can use a hand.
Speaker 3: But Coco doesn't talk to me.
Speaker 2: Coco doesn't seem to see that he needs a friend.
Speaker 2: Hello everyone, and welcome once again to Coco the Barbarian
Speaker 2: needs a friend. I am your producer, Matt Gurley, and
Speaker 2: with me as always our warrior leader and host, Coco
Speaker 2: the Barbarian.
Speaker 1: Yes, hello, everybody. Very excited to be here again with
Speaker 1: you and to talk about my sword.
Speaker 2: It is a very popular topic with you.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited that brought there some special grease today
Speaker 1: to put on it and also on my body.
Speaker 2: You are extra listening. I'm sorry, of course, as regular
Speaker 2: listeners that guys know the sword is checked in a
Speaker 2: special locker with security guards.
Speaker 1: That was the foil of my plan. I wanted to
Speaker 1: bring it in here and put the grease, but now
Speaker 1: because of that security guy at the front, well you know,
Speaker 1: I can't do it.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe next time we'll do a special episode from
Speaker 2: the security desk and we can talk with the security
Speaker 2: guy and your sword could be right there.
Speaker 1: That would be good, right.
Speaker 2: We'll have to deal with the comings and goings of
Speaker 2: the building.
Speaker 1: But get everyone on my side because they would be
Speaker 1: able to hear my side of the argument.
Speaker 2: Oh of course, of course. Well, before we go any further,
Speaker 2: I must also acknowledge our co host Red SONA.
Speaker 4: Yes, hello, welcome, but.
Speaker 2: No welcome to you.
Speaker 4: No, welcome to you.
Speaker 1: Now welcome to all of us, Welcome to Coca.
Speaker 2: We are quite the trup, aren't we. We are just
Speaker 2: for you know, for those keeping score at home. Of course,
Speaker 2: the purpose of this podcast is of course, to reignite
Speaker 2: interest in our resting.
Speaker 1: Ip and get me some friends.
Speaker 2: Of course, get you some friends, build a team, you know.
Speaker 2: So when we burst back onto the silver screen or
Speaker 2: onto a streaming service which is not a body of water,
Speaker 2: we've already established that we have a lot of celebrity
Speaker 2: friends to support us. So just looking down that list,
Speaker 2: of course, number one with a bullet, we've got Larry Hastings.
Speaker 1: He's going to be our fool's finally losing his bands.
Speaker 2: And in the solid maybe Christopher walking solid maybe a
Speaker 2: solid maybe both about appearing on this show and being
Speaker 2: a part of the friend group.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's progress.
Speaker 1: He solidly frightens me, don't you know.
Speaker 2: What he is very intense, so that you know we're
Speaker 2: gonna keep working on that. And then of course we
Speaker 2: had a nonverbal but I think, very firm no from
Speaker 2: Atheno O'Brien. She stormed out of the studio.
Speaker 1: I was very um sad about it.
Speaker 4: So it's on the Yeah, it was very sad and
Speaker 4: interrupted my meditation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. Have have you lost sleep
Speaker 2: over at Coco?
Speaker 1: Yes, I've lost a lot of sleep because I wake
Speaker 1: up in the middle of the night and I go
Speaker 1: out to the stars and I are laughing, why won't
Speaker 1: you be our friend? And sometimes I get locked out
Speaker 1: of my house and solid I'm out of a long
Speaker 1: time and losing a lot of sleep.
Speaker 2: Oh you don't.
Speaker 1: You don't.
Speaker 2: You don't travel with your keys just the sword.
Speaker 1: Now the sword fist and then if I have spice
Speaker 1: that I put my keys in my loin.
Speaker 4: Why don't you just kick the door down?
Speaker 1: Well, that's girls, that's what I end up having to do.
Speaker 1: Sound that's why, that's why our bill for doors has
Speaker 1: been very high. I'd keep putting in those expense reports.
Speaker 2: I've been meaning, Yeah, I really hate doing this on air,
Speaker 2: but you can't be expensing your personal doors to the podcast.
Speaker 2: We just don't have we don't have a sponsor, we're
Speaker 2: not signed with a major podcasting studios. I don't this
Speaker 2: is all out of my pocket.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know what the expense reports off. Boy,
Speaker 1: if they are not for my door for report, how
Speaker 1: will I be able to go on adventures if I
Speaker 1: am knocked out of my house and I cannot break
Speaker 1: down my door on expense and new one.
Speaker 2: Remember a few weeks ago, I was like, look, I
Speaker 2: got Christopher walking on the hook. He's out, he's a wobbly.
Speaker 2: Maybe let me take him out to lunch, let me
Speaker 2: go to the palm with him, whine him, dye him.
Speaker 2: And you were like, out of your own pocket, little
Speaker 2: girly man, this is not for the expensing.
Speaker 1: That's what I said. That I don't sound like that,
Speaker 1: but yes, that's what I said.
Speaker 2: I just if I I'm doing something that's going to
Speaker 2: contribute to our cause, I don't understand why I can't
Speaker 2: expense that, but I'm expected to expected to pay when
Speaker 2: you have to kick down your door.
Speaker 1: Wow, because I am the king of gos Soon and.
Speaker 4: It's your fault that Atheno left. And then it's your
Speaker 4: fault that he has to wake up in the middle
Speaker 4: of the night and go outside and scream out the sky.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 4: It's your fault that he's locked out of.
Speaker 1: His house, the security guy.
Speaker 2: So I know, as we've established, you and Coco have
Speaker 2: a complicated relationship. But don't like, don't you have a
Speaker 2: sparecade at his place? Aren't you over there? Sometimes do
Speaker 2: a lot and.
Speaker 1: The lot to shout at the sky? You could do
Speaker 1: that outside the gull, inside the shout at the sky.
Speaker 4: If he's shouting, I'm I I'm not disturbing my sleep.
Speaker 2: But couldn't you let him back inside?
Speaker 4: Why would I do that?
Speaker 1: Value? I would have to submit one of sun of
Speaker 1: these expensive reports, and yeah, you.
Speaker 2: Charge him expenses.
Speaker 4: Well, if he's waking me up from my reverie, and
Speaker 4: then I would have to bring myself out of my
Speaker 4: very deep meditations, very expensive, which takes quite a lot.
Speaker 4: I would have to displace all the goats. Have you
Speaker 4: ever tried to put goats back to sleep in the
Speaker 4: middle of the night. Note, they're they're everywhere.
Speaker 1: I have to raid several in and out burgers to
Speaker 1: pay for all of.
Speaker 2: This, just just for clarity, just for clarity because it
Speaker 2: you know, as we develop our next project, I you know,
Speaker 2: I wanted to get things right. You keep goats in
Speaker 2: the house.
Speaker 4: They're my meditation goats.
Speaker 1: Right, come on, keep lap mad. You know that she
Speaker 1: needs the gouts for the mill.
Speaker 2: That was on me. That was totally on me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: tell me about it. You know, have we considered, have
Speaker 2: we considered maybe moving away from traditional forms of entertainment
Speaker 2: to relaunch the IP and maybe do a meditation app.
Speaker 2: They're very in right now, some sort of goat meditation app,
Speaker 2: a virtual goat.
Speaker 4: I don't know how you would fit a goat.
Speaker 1: Is involved, and maybe, like I sort of pit.
Speaker 4: Maybe if you stabbed them really really really a lot
Speaker 4: and then they're just they're just nothing left and then
Speaker 4: they can fit inside a phone.
Speaker 2: It's not it would I mean, it wouldn't be a
Speaker 2: real goat. It would be digital digital, you know what.
Speaker 2: Never mind, never mind, I can see I can see
Speaker 2: I'm leading us down a dangerous path. I'm not gonna worry.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna worry about I Like, yes, we'd have
Speaker 2: to buy more goats. Yeah, and I don't have that
Speaker 2: kind of money right now. Uh, Coco, you mentioned Gladiator
Speaker 2: just now, and I I feel the need to report
Speaker 2: we mentioned that it was coming out last episode. I
Speaker 2: at my own expense once again. I have now seen
Speaker 2: the new Red Sonia movie.
Speaker 1: And well I have to bring it up, mad, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to God and shout to the sky again
Speaker 1: to night.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you should. I think you should. But
Speaker 2: I felt it was important. Don't you when you go
Speaker 2: into battle, don't you study your opponents. Don't you want
Speaker 2: to know how they're how they're No.
Speaker 4: No, you stab them. You don't get to know them.
Speaker 4: You don't buddy up to them.
Speaker 2: But don't you study how their methods work, what they
Speaker 2: how they like to attack, what their numbers are.
Speaker 4: Matters about their methods. Your method is stabbing, that's all.
Speaker 1: If I studied them, I would probably want to stab them. Moor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, well again, I guess I can't argue
Speaker 2: with that. So well, I've wasted my time seeing this
Speaker 2: Red Sonya may I'm not gonna say it's a complete
Speaker 2: waste of time, because I really do feel I feel
Speaker 2: like I learned what we should not be doing. It
Speaker 2: was not I don't think it was a great way
Speaker 2: to relaunch an I p there was some interesting performances,
Speaker 2: but the writing was not great. I think we should
Speaker 2: really start to think about who's gonna write your your
Speaker 2: relaunch because shockingly, like two thirds of that movie was
Speaker 2: just a gladiator movie. And who wants to see that?
Speaker 1: Well? I do, but not when I'm not in it,
Speaker 1: because yes, Sonia didn't invite me, and I'm upset about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I screamed at the guy about that.
Speaker 4: Why would she invite you?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 5: Because I it's complicateing and because well, she should invite
Speaker 5: you to son It would be Valie and Ball and
Speaker 5: to have both of us on because yeah, both.
Speaker 1: Mighty warriors and can conquer all the gladiad. That scene
Speaker 1: would have been like five minutes if SnO is there.
Speaker 1: You're right, yeah, that.
Speaker 2: Cyclops, you would have taken it out like that.
Speaker 1: She invited the Cyclops and not me.
Speaker 2: It's sort now the other thing, and you know we
Speaker 2: have not we have not discussed this. You know, what
Speaker 2: what would red Sona be bringing to the table here?
Speaker 2: I mean a lot, obviously a lot, But in terms
Speaker 2: of the look red Sonia sort of her whole thing
Speaker 2: is that she just wears a chain mail bikini as
Speaker 2: her armor and they they try and like make a
Speaker 2: joke about She goes, will this protect me? And the
Speaker 2: guy goes, no, but it'll look good kind of not
Speaker 2: great for this day and age. I thought, so, Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't know. On the other hand, I think it
Speaker 2: probably is what God eyeballs on the movie your feelings
Speaker 2: on Chain. I can already see I should not have
Speaker 2: brought this up.
Speaker 4: I think that if I stab everybody, or if Coco
Speaker 4: stabs everybody, but I can do that, then it won't
Speaker 4: matter what I'm wearing.
Speaker 2: Well, I like that attitude.
Speaker 1: No, it's good.
Speaker 2: I like that attitude quite a lot.
Speaker 1: Song that tends to like to wear a lot of
Speaker 1: things that are goat related.
Speaker 4: Well, goats, unfortunately don't live forever. And it only makes
Speaker 4: sense after they've spent so much time with me on
Speaker 4: my journey to within, my journey for inner balance and strength,
Speaker 4: that they continue to stay with me in the form
Speaker 4: of pel tides and goat eyeball.
Speaker 1: Earrings and all those shoe adds them live sometimes.
Speaker 2: Well, yes, so I've goat stopped to re established that.
Speaker 4: Part of your very good at balancing my head.
Speaker 2: Right, part of your meditation process is to have a
Speaker 2: goat stand on you. So you have to take that
Speaker 2: into consideration, and what you're wearing has to be comfortable
Speaker 2: and well balanced for a goat.
Speaker 4: Well, if the goat is talented enough, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: Oh I hadn't considered that, not that.
Speaker 4: I would wear a chained mail bikini, but if I did,
Speaker 4: my goats would be able to balance on them.
Speaker 2: You know, I feel like we're going to have to
Speaker 2: make sure the goats are part of whatever happens next
Speaker 2: app or just on We'll just do a whole episode
Speaker 2: about the goats. Fantastic sounds well, I don't want to
Speaker 2: delay things any further there. Of course, we do have
Speaker 2: a special guest with us today. Our next candidate to
Speaker 2: beat your friend Coco Great, and he's a legendary Uh well,
Speaker 2: I was gonna say race car driver, but this guy
Speaker 2: will and has raced anything under the sun, so I
Speaker 2: can't wait. I wouldn't be surprised. We can ask him
Speaker 2: all about it, like Ostrich.
Speaker 1: That's true, that's like your number two.
Speaker 2: So how are they balancing?
Speaker 4: Not as good?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I bet well. Please Welcome to the podcast legendary racer
Speaker 2: Mario Kapretti. It's a mea Mario go good.
Speaker 3: It is so good to see you.
Speaker 1: Welcome, Mario. Be very good to have you on the show.
Speaker 1: And I can tell that you're very happy and happy
Speaker 1: and you communicate. And I don't see any problem with
Speaker 1: the way that you speak at all. Not no problem,
Speaker 1: no problematic at all. The problem with marg no problem
Speaker 1: with me. I'm a beloved figure. Oh I'm Matthew. I
Speaker 1: must say hello to you. Hello, Matthew. Oh, you're such
Speaker 1: a pretty boy.
Speaker 4: He's a very girl man.
Speaker 1: The truth, I've.
Speaker 2: One or two a girl matter in my life. You
Speaker 2: know what I mean? You know right?
Speaker 1: Well, she's a crazy Mario. You know, as you may know,
Speaker 1: on this show, we're bringing people on and so that
Speaker 1: we can consider one they want to be my friend,
Speaker 1: and then also if they want to join our adventures
Speaker 1: as we go on adventures of conquist that quest.
Speaker 2: Does it involve racing?
Speaker 1: Well? That the bands. There was some talk here about
Speaker 1: Ostrich racing.
Speaker 2: I heard something about the goat, and I once raised
Speaker 2: the goat. It was so beautiful.
Speaker 4: Oh, we're going to get along just fine.
Speaker 1: Oh see see Larry had some trouble with goats. How
Speaker 1: are you with the gout racing? Oh?
Speaker 2: I once raised the goat around the Alps. It was
Speaker 2: so beautiful. Now, mind you, when I say I raised
Speaker 2: the goat, I did not sit upon the goat I raised.
Speaker 2: I challenged the goat myself. I was in a Mercedes bends.
Speaker 1: Oh is the mesay these bands? I track an ostrich
Speaker 1: is right automobile? Oh? Is it posed by ostroges?
Speaker 2: No? I arrived with my foot, with your feet arrives
Speaker 2: the engine. The fuel goes through the engine, the pistons
Speaker 2: and Mario goes to zoom.
Speaker 1: I've seen these before outside, you know, the ones that
Speaker 1: are always yelling at me on the street. They make
Speaker 1: that yelling. Yes, the the scoozy, scoozy. Do you not
Speaker 1: have a car me? No, I didn't. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to get in one of those things that look like
Speaker 1: they are too small for me. He is very big.
Speaker 2: Also, he is basically uninsurable. But he does have a wagon.
Speaker 2: Oh wag.
Speaker 4: He's very good on horseback.
Speaker 2: Oh, now, horse, I can race a horse both a
Speaker 2: meaning I can sit upon the horse and raise it
Speaker 2: or I can erase it on foot.
Speaker 1: Oh. I like to get on my us sometimes and
Speaker 1: ride around with my sword and yeah, and.
Speaker 4: The only very it's uh, it's hard to be on
Speaker 4: the horse when Coco has used his special sword grease.
Speaker 2: Oh it's a slippery it's very slippery. And I've been
Speaker 2: in many a race with the grease summertimes. You got
Speaker 2: to be a little sneaky with the grease because the
Speaker 2: judges said it's a no no Marrio. But I need
Speaker 2: a little you know, I need a little lubric and
Speaker 2: to get the edge. Some good grease, only the best
Speaker 2: of grease, A fine olive oil for mississily.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's a very nice grease.
Speaker 4: Coco, he has people saying no, that's not allowed to him,
Speaker 4: and we know what that's like with the garden the sword.
Speaker 2: I just it's I it's not it's it's a law.
Speaker 2: You can't have weapons out like the Who want you
Speaker 2: to tell this man what to do?
Speaker 1: That's right, absolutely, I agree. Just gonna take all of
Speaker 1: us down to that security guy one of these days.
Speaker 4: Not be stimied. Oh, we will not be.
Speaker 1: Made to not have swords, made.
Speaker 4: To not have swords. We will not be de sorted.
Speaker 1: That's right. We will be sorted.
Speaker 2: We will be sorted. We will be sorted. We will
Speaker 2: be a you're a very bold of woman.
Speaker 1: That's a right, and well, you know you could be
Speaker 1: part of this mile. But I want to know how
Speaker 1: many horses are you bringing to the table.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's a good question. I do have a stable
Speaker 2: of horses, many of them mostly out of stud.
Speaker 1: Very good. Yeah, all right, so you bring the studs.
Speaker 2: I would bring, as I got three prized studs at
Speaker 2: my home.
Speaker 4: All right, now, how about he has three horsepower?
Speaker 1: That's like the way you think.
Speaker 2: I like it, the way you think we could hook
Speaker 2: them up to your wagon. What happens?
Speaker 3: Excellent?
Speaker 1: Then maybe I could see in the.
Speaker 4: Wagon and it won't matter if your special And of
Speaker 4: course I have my old gray mayor my wife.
Speaker 1: Be careful, we already have a fool kid.
Speaker 2: Maryon not married.
Speaker 4: It's a good name for a horse.
Speaker 2: The older gray Mayor or my wife my wife. Oh,
Speaker 2: I tell you what next towards I raised, I name her.
Speaker 3: My wife, my wife.
Speaker 2: It might have been done.
Speaker 1: Now you're a driver and soul of time, yes, yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: I'm not familiar with how well cars contribute to an
Speaker 1: adventuring party. Perhaps you could tell us how a car
Speaker 1: could be useful on an adventure.
Speaker 2: Well, first and foremost, I think it gets to places
Speaker 2: very fast. Especially if a Marrio's driving.
Speaker 3: Eh.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. We could get faster to places.
Speaker 4: Faster, faster than three horses.
Speaker 2: Oh see see Oh yes, my beauty, Yes, I got
Speaker 2: much faster than a horse. I mean I have I
Speaker 2: have a Mercedes, I have a Ferrari, I have I
Speaker 2: even have a woods wagon that is shockingly fast.
Speaker 1: He also has a wagon.
Speaker 2: I don't know you, my friend. You may be a
Speaker 2: dead too big to fit in my boots wagon. Oh
Speaker 2: darn it, but this little girlie man, I think he'd
Speaker 2: fit fine. Thanks, so I would. Yeah, I would get
Speaker 2: to a place where you need to go. I take you,
Speaker 2: Marry take you. He could do that so fast.
Speaker 1: Ah good, excellent. We need to all to the streaming services.
Speaker 4: The the stream of in.
Speaker 2: I am not a familiar with this stream, but do
Speaker 2: you put it in my map. I'll get you there.
Speaker 1: Ah great, we're gonna go there and swimming. It's all
Speaker 1: the people can see.
Speaker 2: What they mean, like a Netflix or a Disney plus.
Speaker 2: Oh you want to drive through a Netflix headquarters? Are okay?
Speaker 2: I think it is a studio city. I drive you there.
Speaker 4: If if it's a headquarters, surely their leader will be there.
Speaker 4: We can go we can stop. We can conquer.
Speaker 2: Now the one place I do not want to go,
Speaker 2: I tell you right now, I do not want to
Speaker 2: go to the Apple of Plus. They put out that
Speaker 2: fo one the movie. You know who's not in that
Speaker 2: f one the movie?
Speaker 1: Right? It's on you?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I wouldn't go see the movie
Speaker 2: because the Marios not in the movie. How will you
Speaker 2: make race a car movie without the great Mario Capetti?
Speaker 1: I feel your pain because recently I was a movie.
Speaker 1: The cyclops in it are not me or me.
Speaker 2: Don't make no sense. Who want to see a cyclops?
Speaker 2: They could see a great king?
Speaker 1: And this diffriend, go take notes on.
Speaker 4: This, Matt, Matt, Matt, I think we have a new member.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I don't want to. There's still like
Speaker 2: we've still got like fifteen minutes to fill. I don't
Speaker 2: want to jump ahead, but I will say I've got
Speaker 2: I've got a good feeling. We all, when you with
Speaker 2: a Marios, when you're with a marioist, speed right through.
Speaker 2: This will be the fastest podcast you ever heard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, this is great.
Speaker 2: So let me ask you, because I like for a
Speaker 2: tat if I join your so called the venturing Party,
Speaker 2: could we maybe slay a few my enemies, like mister
Speaker 2: brad Pitt, mister fancy I invented the new camera for the.
Speaker 1: Oh well, yes, of course, I have a perfect thing
Speaker 1: for mister brad Pitt. We put him in the pit
Speaker 1: fighting and the people will fight him, and we'll call
Speaker 1: it pit fighting because they're fighting.
Speaker 2: Brad pet you have a connection with this cyclops. They
Speaker 2: could maybe step on him and a squash.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't bring that up again.
Speaker 2: Mad, Okay, okay, whatever, I understand. You know, uh, yoused
Speaker 2: to hang around with a monkey and he is a
Speaker 2: little too big for his bridges now and now I
Speaker 2: know a talking to him.
Speaker 1: What other enemies do you have that we need to
Speaker 1: go after? Any evil wizards?
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a I do not get along with the turtles.
Speaker 2: It's sort of a personal thing.
Speaker 1: That all of the turtles everywhere, most of them, most
Speaker 1: of them. I don't think we could slay all all
Speaker 1: of the turtles. I mean, not that I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: willing to die it.
Speaker 4: Can We can't. We definitely could, but it might take
Speaker 4: a long time.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I got plenty of time, So.
Speaker 4: Perhaps maybe we do the turtles after Coco is king
Speaker 4: of the world. And then he can just say, with
Speaker 4: a wave of his sword, no more turtles.
Speaker 1: That's guy.
Speaker 2: The ideas on the how the world you just said
Speaker 2: no more turtles. Man, I could have done that years.
Speaker 1: Ago, Granya King. This is the sort of things that
Speaker 1: you do. You say, bring me my pheasant, and you
Speaker 1: say get all the turtles, and then you arminions that
Speaker 1: have to do it for you.
Speaker 2: This is this is this is a news to Mario.
Speaker 3: Mario.
Speaker 2: Usually see when I finish our race in the first place,
Speaker 2: always the first place, and the ladies they bring you flowers,
Speaker 2: they give you the champagne, They maybe bring you some oils,
Speaker 2: maybe a nice pizza, but they never say I'll kill
Speaker 2: all the turtles for you.
Speaker 1: Many Oh, you have to ask them of God, to.
Speaker 4: The big leagues.
Speaker 2: Can I just can I just just step in here
Speaker 2: for a moment, let me insert myself here, because I
Speaker 2: I just I'm afraid with all of this turtle talk
Speaker 2: that we're gonna maybe offend like the pita people, the
Speaker 2: animal rights group, the animal rights people, the people who
Speaker 2: are pro turtle and pro animal life, and they're gonna
Speaker 2: be like, oh, what is this Coco doing killing all
Speaker 2: these turtles for a movie. That's like not cool anymore.
Speaker 1: But are they turtles? The people? Yes? No? If they
Speaker 1: are not turtles, then why do they care if we
Speaker 1: kill all.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I said, who cared about a turtle?
Speaker 2: You put them in a soup? Okay, otherwise who will care?
Speaker 4: We shouldn't kill all the turtles, though, because then we
Speaker 4: can't put.
Speaker 1: Them into it.
Speaker 4: Should probably we should save them for soup on me.
Speaker 2: I mean, okay, you put them in a pen somewhere,
Speaker 2: and I do not care, but I do know what.
Speaker 2: The shells coming at my head nothing the worse when
Speaker 2: you're driving your car and a boom you get hit
Speaker 2: by a turtle shell.
Speaker 4: Oh, I've heard about these, the blue ones or the
Speaker 4: blue one tytle worst with the spikes.
Speaker 2: They they are the worst. But they luckily they banned
Speaker 2: in most competitive for play now because you know, I
Speaker 2: made a very big complaint to the bosses.
Speaker 1: I say, you.
Speaker 2: Cannot be thrown spike the turtle shells the f one
Speaker 2: now of god now and you know what, you know
Speaker 2: what though they never listened until I mister brad Pitt's
Speaker 2: making a movie and suddenly no turtles else. I got
Speaker 2: a real problem with that guy.
Speaker 4: He like a coincidence top of our list.
Speaker 1: Right, and then you drive us.
Speaker 2: I see to him. See we put him.
Speaker 4: In the pit pit.
Speaker 2: Oh yes.
Speaker 4: Then we drive to.
Speaker 1: The streaming, we go to the Netflix, we.
Speaker 4: Corder their heads and then we win.
Speaker 1: Oh. I mean I like this plan. That was very
Speaker 1: foolish of them to call it a head, God, as
Speaker 1: they opened themselves up to this bun that you made.
Speaker 2: So that I don't understand why you're also literal minded.
Speaker 2: It's it's not a place you go to court. Hey
Speaker 2: are you pretty boy? You shut your mouth. That's how
Speaker 2: I deal with the brad Pitt.
Speaker 1: That's good. I like this very much.
Speaker 2: Now, King of Coco, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2: You got my you know have a car now? God,
Speaker 2: when I outside in the lobby, I hear you talk
Speaker 2: about the in and out the burger? Do you have
Speaker 2: the problem I have with the in and out the burger?
Speaker 1: Do they not let you bring your sword in the
Speaker 1: in and out burger? Well?
Speaker 3: I do not.
Speaker 2: I do man marry or do not carry a sword.
Speaker 2: But marill like to ride a horse through the driving
Speaker 2: and they always yelling at they.
Speaker 4: Just like yelling.
Speaker 1: They are this is South typical.
Speaker 2: I say this all the gray mare. She just wanted
Speaker 2: the Kentucky Derby. You're gonna give me some animal style fries.
Speaker 4: Well, if it makes you feel better that store manager
Speaker 4: is now.
Speaker 1: That I'm really supposed to talk about it. But what
Speaker 1: happens when you don't in and out the burger to
Speaker 1: a long story shot, it's been really very really I'm
Speaker 1: not happy with them because you know, I try to
Speaker 1: do simple things that everyone should be able to do
Speaker 1: at the in and out Bulga, like bringing your.
Speaker 2: Sword horse through the drive.
Speaker 1: I ride the horse to the drive through milder the
Speaker 1: cows so you can have your billgos.
Speaker 2: Maybe do who doesn't want a fresh beef?
Speaker 1: That's why that's so.
Speaker 2: I tell you what Marios to have his old brain thinking.
Speaker 1: That's good meaning bans.
Speaker 2: Why don't I get one of them really big trucks.
Speaker 2: We ride it straight through the in and out and
Speaker 2: we destroyed out.
Speaker 1: This sounds good. I always say, if you cannot find
Speaker 1: anything nice to say, smash and sloter, I can't go.
Speaker 2: It's what my old na used to tell me. What
Speaker 2: make me so happy?
Speaker 1: Ah, the guide perfect.
Speaker 4: We'll take the really big truck and we'll go in
Speaker 4: and out.
Speaker 1: I like this plan.
Speaker 2: I like at this planned King of Koko.
Speaker 1: I feel like we really have a lot of adventures
Speaker 1: on the table now, Matt, that you got me.
Speaker 2: I am getting it all down. And as I've explained
Speaker 2: multiple times, this is being recorded.
Speaker 4: I just yes, we need a record of our wonderful exploits.
Speaker 2: I worry a little bit about any preemptive lawsuits that
Speaker 2: in an out burger might be pursuing, but I think
Speaker 2: in general, you know, again, I don't want to anger you,
Speaker 2: mister Coretti, but you did bring up the F one
Speaker 2: movie let to make so mad. But it's really in
Speaker 2: right now. I mean, race cars have never been more popular.
Speaker 2: Uh you know, F one people are like getting up
Speaker 2: at six am and going to the local bar to
Speaker 2: watch the F one races. I mean, I I don't
Speaker 2: understand it. It's just a car going around in a circle.
Speaker 2: How dare you, little boy?
Speaker 4: How dare he doesn't appreciate any of the finer things
Speaker 4: in life?
Speaker 2: You would have run around in a circle with me.
Speaker 2: You would run around in a circle.
Speaker 1: With me if there was conquest in dolls.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you a little secret, Mario Kupratti going
Speaker 2: to do his craziest race yet. Oh, Mario Compratti gonna
Speaker 2: go to Las Vegas F one and he gonna run
Speaker 2: it barefoot.
Speaker 1: Wow, that sounds great. You gonna use any grease.
Speaker 2: Between you and me as long as nobody looking. Of course,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put some out of oil on my feet.
Speaker 2: You got cause, but beat I beat any car. Wow.
Speaker 4: That's impressive, very impressive.
Speaker 1: I can run fast, but I don't know if I.
Speaker 2: Hate a minute. I have a vision. Now, I have
Speaker 2: a vision. It's going to launch us to a new level.
Speaker 2: Quin of cocoa, And would you grant me the great
Speaker 2: privilege of riding you?
Speaker 1: Wow, I'm pretty greasy now can you hold on really well?
Speaker 1: We could make a harness I suppose, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I carry my sword around and we've had these issues
Speaker 1: in the past where I was using my sword and
Speaker 1: someone was too close and they got their head got off.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what were coming the first. I don't
Speaker 2: care who is the head to come off?
Speaker 1: Wow? All right?
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh, I am a man without a fear, and
Speaker 2: some would say without a brains. I like it that right.
Speaker 1: We got the cyclops into the rights of us, so
Speaker 1: we can beat.
Speaker 2: That psychologic do not like him now, And you know,
Speaker 2: if it all happened and mister brad Pitt is out
Speaker 2: there promoting his stupid little leftl one the film, and
Speaker 2: your sword absolutely goes woosh cross his head. But you
Speaker 2: didn't see nothing right.
Speaker 1: We could all be there and we could be ready
Speaker 1: to destroy Brad Pitt, all of us. We'll call ourselves
Speaker 1: the pit crew.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm so moved. I'm so moved that you are
Speaker 2: identified with my plight so closely.
Speaker 1: King, Go go. While it's very hard when people that
Speaker 1: you now and don't like anymore don't let you into
Speaker 1: their movies and then and their franchise, and they make
Speaker 1: it difficult and make you shout at the sky.
Speaker 2: I know it's not gonna bring this up. I don't
Speaker 2: want to make nobody too angry. But I hear a
Speaker 2: lot of things around the racetrack, you know, and I
Speaker 2: heard maybe mister a brad Pitt giving the old deaf
Speaker 2: one to red Sonia.
Speaker 1: This is very you know.
Speaker 2: I don't want to spread no rumors.
Speaker 1: But now I don't like Brad.
Speaker 2: This is what I was hoping.
Speaker 1: It's very upset. What is Brad Pitt conn to do
Speaker 1: now God take off his shirt and going and and
Speaker 1: fighting an arena that.
Speaker 2: I hear he may be making the deal to promote
Speaker 2: some of good grease. What I don't want to be
Speaker 2: speaking out of turn. But you know, Mario here hears things.
Speaker 1: This is unacceptable. I would say on a front that's right.
Speaker 1: Doesn't know I both and fee too? Doesn't he know
Speaker 1: that I am the one who is better looking in Greece.
Speaker 2: I mean I would have said, there's no question. So
Speaker 2: I don't want to ride a no Brad Pitt.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you don't. No, only a gougo who's going
Speaker 1: to be king someday after I finish this race and
Speaker 1: destroy Brad Pitt.
Speaker 2: With the pit crew, No sor you are working today,
Speaker 2: I can see it emanated. You're right selling yourself. Sure
Speaker 2: that's she a goddess.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, it's very good. All right, Matt, put him down,
Speaker 1: Sign them up. It's going to be on the crew,
Speaker 1: in the paper pit.
Speaker 2: Crew, and we wrap up. You know in a few moments,
Speaker 2: we'll take you outside. There is a paperwork sign. There's
Speaker 2: also a restroom if you need to use the restaurant.
Speaker 4: Mad all mats around.
Speaker 2: Oh I hear about you Matt manure sneaky beat. I
Speaker 2: was just an one time accident. Anyway, I'm really excited
Speaker 2: I did that. Mario pariees on board. I think that's
Speaker 2: gonna bring racing fans, sports fans, fans of ethnic stereotypes
Speaker 2: really on board to this project. Horse fans, oh, horse
Speaker 2: fans of course, and of course the horses themselves. They
Speaker 2: are very neglected audience horses and the means of Brad
Speaker 2: Pitt that is a big one. Miss Angeline and Jolie,
Speaker 2: she's gonna sign right up with you. But horses, you know,
Speaker 2: hor horses. What do my hostuds do all day? I
Speaker 2: mean when they're not doing their job? You know, they're
Speaker 2: just in this table and I put the TV on.
Speaker 3: And what did they watch? They watch the View, They
Speaker 3: watch it the Chew, they watch it the Murdercy Road
Speaker 3: reruns over and over and over again. I think we
Speaker 3: put on Coco thea Barbarian. They're gonna be so ready
Speaker 3: to go out to stud if you know what I.
Speaker 4: Mean, standing their feet.
Speaker 2: See see, are going to start a planning this podcast
Speaker 2: in the stables.
Speaker 1: That's a good idea.
Speaker 4: Good idea, good ideas, a.
Speaker 2: Lot of ideas, Matt, I wondered if I could erase
Speaker 2: a podcast, this could be my next greater challenge. Could
Speaker 2: I'm Mariocapretti be the first man to raise a podcast?
Speaker 4: I think you can do it.
Speaker 2: That's I will have to look into this. I mean,
Speaker 2: a podcast is not a physical thing that you can
Speaker 2: race in or against. But you know what, anyone can
Speaker 2: do it. I think it's you, that's all right, theomatically man.
Speaker 2: It is a me, Mario Capretti. Well, I what can
Speaker 2: I say, King of Coco, H pledgure my allegiance to you,
Speaker 2: your backing call when I'm in that racing, and of
Speaker 2: course I raise most of the time, so I do
Speaker 2: my best. You call me a all or you call
Speaker 2: my agent. But we have to work it in. You know,
Speaker 2: I very very high demand for my time.
Speaker 1: Oh well, of course, it's how are we, you know,
Speaker 1: very very busy, very busy.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, you seem like a very busy people screaming
Speaker 2: at the sky.
Speaker 4: We have to go buy some new doors.
Speaker 2: I got a cousin. He make you a nice new door,
Speaker 2: super cheap.
Speaker 1: Ah great, because Matt was really upset about the expensive
Speaker 1: reports for the doors. You better be thankful about this, I.
Speaker 2: Thought, you came from a line of plumbers. Hey, okay,
Speaker 2: so what so what My brother and I need to
Speaker 2: be a plumber. Who cares. I can't have a cousin
Speaker 2: to make a door, who can't work a wrecking crew?
Speaker 2: I mean, come on, I'm at curly man guys.
Speaker 1: Come on, yes, very close.
Speaker 2: I cannot take this guy anymore. King Coco, you need me,
Speaker 2: you call me. I cannot look at this guy no.
Speaker 1: More understandable, Matt, to see what you kindering our guests.
Speaker 2: Now, Mario, yes, Ma, yes, you before you go? Is
Speaker 2: this yes?
Speaker 1: Are you a firm? Yes?
Speaker 2: Can we put you right up there alongside Larry Hastings
Speaker 2: Alaric Hastings, the Great Alaric Hastings. I once I saw
Speaker 2: him play mister pib oh, Mama Mia, that was the
Speaker 2: funniest thing I ever did see.
Speaker 4: He's our fool.
Speaker 2: Oh, I tell you what, go go like I said,
Speaker 2: you called me, Okay, you called me any time you
Speaker 2: gotta go do it?
Speaker 1: So chow chow, goodbye. We don't have to do cases
Speaker 1: like that all the time. Right, It's just the thing
Speaker 1: for him, I think, so okay, good that I get I.
Speaker 2: Do Cocoa the Barbarian Needs a Friend was created, produced
Speaker 2: and edited by J. Michael DeAngelis, Music and sound effects
Speaker 2: by Pete Barry. Executive producers Pete Barry, J Michael DeAngelis,
Speaker 2: John Dalgin, and Page Clanecki.
Speaker 1: This is a.
Speaker 2: Completely real celebrity interview podcast. But if it weren't, then
Speaker 2: Bob Killian was Coca, the Barbarian Ashley Banks was red
Speaker 2: Sona and J. Michael DeAngelis was Mario Capretti. I'm Matt
Speaker 2: gurley Man and definitely no one else. This has been
Speaker 2: a port Room production, Copyright twenty twenty five Extraordinary Missions Limited.
Speaker 1: Another quality podcast from the port Room