1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: Michelle had her first French fry like two weeks ago. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:09,240 I don't think she's ready for a jalapeno popper. My god, 3 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:16,199 I Jim Downey walk on stage. We are all dumber 4 00:00:16,399 --> 00:00:19,039 for having to watch you on this show. 5 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 2: Fuck'm Ala, it's so good to be bad. 6 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,679 Speaker 1: Hey, what's up, dude? We haven't had yet a little bit. 7 00:00:43,759 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 3: Well, it's been a week. I missed an episode, and boy, 8 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:51,799 I'm sure, uh, Su're glad I missed last week's episode. 9 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:58,240 Why why last week's episode that you guys covered you 10 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,920 and Ruby? And was was Laurian on that episode? Laurie Alterman? 11 00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: It was be an FP. 12 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:09,799 Speaker 3: Oh it was you an MP? Yeah, okay, all right, 13 00:01:09,879 --> 00:01:13,040 let me cover the uh that episode real quick. That 14 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,159 was the one where you went dress shopping. 15 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: Oh that's right. Yeah. 16 00:01:17,239 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 3: We a lot to talk about Danny's nut sack, yep, 17 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:26,000 a lot of fucking dead dog talk. That was Lala's dog, right, okay. 18 00:01:26,599 --> 00:01:29,519 And then those poor fucking heels that were assaulted by 19 00:01:29,519 --> 00:01:34,519 Britney's feet, right, remember that? And I'm not kidding when 20 00:01:34,519 --> 00:01:37,519 I say if those those shoes could speak, they would 21 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:44,040 have called an attorney. Hello, Garrigos, This woman's attempting to 22 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,640 rip me apart from the inside with her massive toes 23 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:48,519 and it's not right. 24 00:01:48,719 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 1: Hello, have you ever been goreed by something that's not sharp? Well, 25 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,760 I'm currently being gored by five of them right now. 26 00:01:56,319 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 3: Ten ten. 27 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,359 Speaker 1: That's true class action lawsuit. Yeah, yeah, it was fun 28 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:01,680 of them. 29 00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 3: There was a fun episode last like King Kong trying 30 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,000 to fuck a car tire. It's not gonna work anyway. 31 00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:10,599 My point here is that was a horrible episode, and 32 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,080 I'm glad I wasn't here for it. But now I'm back. 33 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,879 Speaker 1: I'm happy you're back, and I'm very grateful for MP 34 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:19,919 for filling in last week. 35 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:20,199 Speaker 3: Thank you. 36 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: We talked about the importance of actors taking on the 37 00:02:23,759 --> 00:02:27,680 role of the mentally handicapped and how it can do 38 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:33,599 wonders for your career. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, 39 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,000 was Daniel day Lewis famous before My Two Left Feet? 40 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 3: Daniel da Lewis? Yeah, does that predate him being in 41 00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:44,759 the Last Mohegan? 42 00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:46,879 Speaker 1: I don't know. 43 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,439 Speaker 3: Well, that came out in nineteen ninety two. 44 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, the Cobbets. Let us go all right, slow start, 45 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:55,960 we got to get into slow start. 46 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 3: I fucking coming out like fire. 47 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: Great start, is what I meant to say. 48 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 2: Say. 49 00:03:00,479 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk about this episode of The Valley. 50 00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 3: Let's not focus on the past. 51 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,439 Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, We're not focusing on the past 52 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:16,000 right now. This week had all sorts of stuff for us, right, 53 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,159 A lot of really really great stuff. So how many 54 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,599 rotten hells would you give it? 55 00:03:21,039 --> 00:03:24,759 Speaker 3: Okay? God, did I like this episode? 56 00:03:24,759 --> 00:03:24,879 Speaker 4: Well? 57 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:26,599 Speaker 3: I like all the episodes. This is the worst show 58 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:33,199 on television, but it's just wonderful. We had divorce papers signed. 59 00:03:34,319 --> 00:03:38,319 We had Lala show up at Kristen's house to tell 60 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,719 her that she should like Janet. 61 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,719 Speaker 1: Not that she should like Janet, but that she shouldn't 62 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:51,639 call people's confessions of being sexually abused in the past bullshit. 63 00:03:52,479 --> 00:03:55,560 Oh that's right, that's right. Yeah, that's kind of the 64 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:58,719 thing that she was like, Is this true? Did you 65 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,919 say that Janet lying about being sexually abused in the past? 66 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. I liked it. I liked the episode. 67 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 1: Fourteen schnefs, fourteen schneves baby hell, yeah, all right, give you. 68 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:27,439 I cried this episode. I cried when Jesse and Michelle 69 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:35,279 were signing those papers and why because of how sad 70 00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:43,319 divorce is, and how beautiful their focus and love for 71 00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:52,120 their daughter is. And when Jesse said that when you 72 00:04:52,199 --> 00:04:57,480 become a parent, you become your child's memory, Uh yeah, 73 00:04:57,519 --> 00:04:58,839 I just kind of cried. 74 00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. And they were talking about he said, I 75 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:06,160 think I remembering correctly that he has a box of pictures, 76 00:05:06,519 --> 00:05:10,040 so that Isabella. One day we'll look through those pictures 77 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,639 and go, wow. 78 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,879 Speaker 1: Mom was dating a guy who couldn't close his eyes. 79 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:16,079 Speaker 2: Yeah. 80 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 3: That, and also mommy and daddy they had a good 81 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,160 time and they loved each other. And then she'll go 82 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:29,279 on the internet and find season one and two of 83 00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:32,839 a show called The Valley and go, oh my god, 84 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,639 my parents were douchebags. 85 00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 1: Well I she'll go my father called my mom an 86 00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:43,519 affordable escort. That too, that's bad. Wow, memories, bamories all 87 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:48,680 alone in the moonlight. I give it seven schneieves. Hey, 88 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,439 Tom Schwartz looking pretty good this episode. 89 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,720 Speaker 3: Huh oh he looked great. 90 00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: Why don't you get into it? Okay, all right, I 91 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:55,920 gotta play it something. 92 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 3: Speaking of Swarts snorts. 93 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: Did you can I guess what the title of that 94 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:12,160 video was? What bear attacked by porcupine? 95 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 3: No, it's snorting? Oh okay, all right, all right, we 96 00:06:16,759 --> 00:06:20,160 bounce around the valley, We go to Schwartz's condo. It's 97 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,680 Keani's birthday, and Swarts pulls out all the stops. He 98 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,000 went to the grocery store. 99 00:06:25,439 --> 00:06:26,319 Speaker 1: He got a sheet cake. 100 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 3: He got a sheet cake. And but what am I saying? 101 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,079 She loved it. Children love sugar. 102 00:06:32,399 --> 00:06:36,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, kids love sugar, and that's why she's so happy. 103 00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:39,519 She loves the thing about her is that she's a 104 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:49,720 kid that loves sugar, but also booger sugar. She loves drugs. Yeah. Uh. 105 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 3: Then we get to we get to see Michelle in 106 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,399 her Element movie really quickly. 107 00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: Who doesn't love drugs? Okay, drugs are fun. I don't 108 00:06:59,759 --> 00:07:05,759 fall her. She's of age. 109 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like twenty eight or something. I think he's 110 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:12,920 lying about her. I think she's twenty five. But that's okay, Okay. 111 00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:16,120 We get to see Michelle in her Element moving high 112 00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:19,600 price real estate. You know, watching a real estate agent 113 00:07:20,079 --> 00:07:24,439 strategize and negotiate is like watching Oppenheimer work on that 114 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,120 Manhattan project. You know, just seeing people do what they do. 115 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: It's it's and not to throw any shade to realitors, 116 00:07:31,639 --> 00:07:38,680 I understand that there's a lot of details. Uh, what 117 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:43,360 is what is the expression about details? The dot the 118 00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:47,959 blank is in the details, devil, the devil's in the details. Okay. 119 00:07:48,319 --> 00:07:51,720 So I understand that there's like acronyms that you have 120 00:07:51,759 --> 00:07:52,959 to know, and you have to be on top of 121 00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:56,759 the marketplace. You have to know which neighborhoods are car 122 00:07:56,879 --> 00:07:58,720 I understand there's a lot of let me give it exact, 123 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,079 but let me just say I understand there's a lot 124 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,199 of things to keep you know, on top of. But 125 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,399 let's not get it twisted. If you go to a 126 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:14,680 flea market and watch a merchant haggle with a homeless 127 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:21,199 person over paying seven or five dollars for a radio 128 00:08:21,319 --> 00:08:26,160 that doesn't work anymore, it's the same thing that Michelle 129 00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:29,160 is doing at this beautiful home, Dylan. 130 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 3: I actually have the transcript we took place in that 131 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,000 very nice house she was talking to this she got 132 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,480 she goes on the seller wants seven million, and she goes, okay, 133 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,759 all right, I think I know what we should do. 134 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,440 Why don't we come in at asking at six point 135 00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:49,279 nine and see what they say? Bam. Nothing like watching 136 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,039 pro's work. 137 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit like watching Andre Agassi 138 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,519 play tennis. You're like, I don't even know how he's 139 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:01,080 doing this. It's so in press it. But I go 140 00:09:01,159 --> 00:09:03,559 back to the flea market. I'm not paying seven for that. 141 00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:04,759 It doesn't even work. 142 00:09:06,919 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 3: All right, let's head over to I'll do. 143 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: I'll give you five bucks deal meet me at six 144 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:19,879 and a rat scurries across the table. That's what she's doing. 145 00:09:20,919 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 3: Okay, Magoo's coffee shop. This is with Benji and Zach. 146 00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:26,759 Speaker 1: I love Benji and Zach. 147 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 3: Oh they got some bad fucking hate. 148 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:36,759 Speaker 1: This fucking shirt everyone does. Why did you buy that shirt? 149 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 3: They got some bad news at that immigration office. Still, 150 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,240 Benji is running out of time and money. Now, Zach 151 00:09:46,759 --> 00:09:49,519 could solve Benji's issues by just marrying this. 152 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,279 Speaker 1: Guy, but I smoke it. Here are the kids come? 153 00:09:51,279 --> 00:09:51,679 I get here? 154 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,039 Speaker 3: Oh no, you could smoke away everybody. But they don't 155 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:59,320 agree on kids. Benji wants them, and Zach says he 156 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,159 needs a year to figure things out. 157 00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 1: So here's the thing, Benji. Benji can't work because if 158 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,279 he goes to work, his name will come up in 159 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,919 a database and Christy Noom's husband with a big, a 160 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,159 fake rack of tits will come and personally throw him 161 00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:26,080 out of the country. Then we've got the kid problem. 162 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:30,440 And while I agree that Zach is just a giant 163 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:34,360 blockhead of a human being, he is a monster energy 164 00:10:34,399 --> 00:10:39,720 drink refrigerator. Zach is well within his rights to say. 165 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,120 What I want from my life in my future is 166 00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:50,120 to bounce around boys town until I can't even I'm 167 00:10:50,279 --> 00:10:54,039 so bow legged, I can't even walk anymore. That's his call. 168 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,919 So I understand that, Like, Zach seems like he's forcing 169 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,360 this thing on Benji, but Benji is kind of like 170 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,600 forcing kids on Zach, and Zach's like, people are well 171 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,000 within their rights to go. I don't know if I 172 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,919 want fucking children, So I'm kind of on Zach's side here. 173 00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:16,000 I love you, but if Christine ums heaving, fake tittied 174 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,679 husband needs to come get you, then that's fine. I'll 175 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,759 be heartbroken, but see you later. Ben Jam I mean, 176 00:11:20,799 --> 00:11:22,799 you could get thrown so much further than a lot 177 00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:23,240 of people. 178 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 3: Santa Clarice. 179 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 1: I think Benji weighs I'm gonna say sixty two pounds. 180 00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:40,279 Speaker 3: He's a little guy. It's very small. 181 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: Have you ever seen an owl with all of its 182 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,440 feathers shaved off? 183 00:11:43,639 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 3: No? 184 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 1: Kaylyn, can you pull up a picture of that real quick. 185 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 3: Why would an owl get its feather shaved off? It's 186 00:11:49,039 --> 00:11:49,720 not it's. 187 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: In like museums. It doesn't happen out in the wild. 188 00:11:55,720 --> 00:12:01,919 But there's a poor owl filled yeah, yeah, yeah, there's 189 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,919 just a Caitlin. Have you found it? 190 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,919 Speaker 3: Oh my god, that poor thing. 191 00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:11,919 Speaker 1: Oh no, I know. That's how crazy their feathers are. 192 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,600 They it makes them look so much bigger than they are, 193 00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:17,240 but their bodies are actually very small, kind of like Benji. 194 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:23,919 Speaker 3: Look it up, people, Oh my god. You know when 195 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,840 you see what an owl, it's like it wears a 196 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,559 gigantic fur. 197 00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:30,759 Speaker 1: Coat, oh yeah, a puffa jacket. 198 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 3: And underneath it is like an elderly man. Can you 199 00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:38,360 believe those things kill things in the wild and eat them. 200 00:12:38,399 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 1: They're one of them true hunters of this planet. Owls 201 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,519 are one of my favorite animals. I love owls. I 202 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,159 love animal owls of all shapes and sizes. 203 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 3: You believe that that husband uh threw his wife down 204 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:56,039 the stairs, killed her with a fireplace poker and tried 205 00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:58,759 to blame it on one of those goddamn owls? Yeah yeah, 206 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,799 son of a bitch. All right, let's get to Santa 207 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:06,159 Clarita Nia returns back from being a ah yes, being 208 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,600 a judge for Miss USA, and she's not shy about 209 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,639 admitting it was so nice not to be around an 210 00:13:11,639 --> 00:13:13,480 obnoxious drunk for three days. 211 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 1: No, and I take your point making the joke like that, 212 00:13:16,279 --> 00:13:18,200 but I do want to zero in on what Nia 213 00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:23,519 says because I am officially at really not quite hate, 214 00:13:23,639 --> 00:13:26,759 like I hate Tamra, I'm not at hate with Nia, 215 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,279 but I really don't like her. 216 00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,039 Speaker 3: You don't like Nia not at all? 217 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:36,759 Speaker 1: Why I think that she is so small minded, She's 218 00:13:36,919 --> 00:13:42,919 so she's so it's a little bit like Ruby with West, 219 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:47,879 Like Nia is just so hot that we've been completely 220 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:52,000 thrown off the scent. Other than protecting her heady little 221 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:55,120 ant farm person hold on like an evil, other. 222 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 3: Than her lying for her husband's drunkenness and bad behavior 223 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,799 to essentially protect her brand nice. 224 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 1: And stuff that she does with Zach. Later on in 225 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:08,600 the episode The Political Maneuvering, she thinks she's Circe. Circe 226 00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:10,840 was trying to get to the iron throat. Nia's trying 227 00:14:10,879 --> 00:14:15,240 to get to Santa Clarita. We talk about the game 228 00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:18,960 of Warshit. Nobody thinks that this is Kaylin. We told 229 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,080 you so many times not to sneeze in here. 230 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 3: You thought you thought Nia was really really pulling strings. 231 00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:28,679 I mean, the steaks are so low. I thought, Lala, 232 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,840 who I do like, but I thought that was absurd 233 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,399 of her. At the end of the episode laying out 234 00:14:34,519 --> 00:14:36,600 how these strategies are working. 235 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: I think Lala is right on the money. 236 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:39,279 Speaker 3: Oh give me a break. 237 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,120 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Nia comes home and she says, it was 238 00:14:42,159 --> 00:14:48,679 so nice to be around people that support one another. Okay, 239 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:57,480 you're talking about the pageant world, one of the most 240 00:14:57,559 --> 00:15:02,320 Tanya harding kind of like environments you could possibly be in. 241 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,039 So you don't mean that. 242 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:04,759 Speaker 3: It's just. 243 00:15:06,799 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 1: She's just trying to paint the two of them as 244 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,600 these victims, and I'm so over it. You're on reality 245 00:15:13,639 --> 00:15:15,200 to me, and your husband's are drunk. 246 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 3: I will say this, though, the pageant world, given that 247 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,559 these girls are coming from different parts of the country, 248 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,559 some of them from southern parts or small towns whatnot, 249 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,000 you're telling me that they're more shallow than the likes 250 00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:41,759 of people like Janet or fucking Jasmine Pat. 251 00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:47,559 Speaker 1: Not only people from Los Angeles can be manipulative little egomaniacs. 252 00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:52,120 I mean people in the Midwest life. People in the South, 253 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,039 lie people in the Midwest. 254 00:15:54,120 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 3: But you're making the comparison of the the beauty contest 255 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,919 world versus the assholes they shepher need. 256 00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:06,399 Speaker 1: To stretch out the victim narrative of the two of 257 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,440 them by saying that the pageant world is supportive, is 258 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,919 fucking insane, but also a throwaway and not that big 259 00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:13,240 of a deal. 260 00:16:13,279 --> 00:16:16,159 Speaker 3: All right, all right, right, well here, okay. So I 261 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,399 thought it was endearing that she had even thought for 262 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,879 a second that any of these people on this reality 263 00:16:21,919 --> 00:16:25,519 show had good intentions, because they never have. There always 264 00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:29,200 been thirsty, lost assholes that have sold their souls to 265 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:32,519 be on TV and to make money doing it. If 266 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,679 Danny being eaten alive by a lesbian dolphin would increase 267 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,240 the ratings on this show, they would root for it. 268 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so, it's just the game, bib. All right, 269 00:16:43,039 --> 00:16:45,799 So let's get to Jesse and Michelle. Jesse makes Michelle 270 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:50,320 some tea well deserved job at the Honey, well deserved job. 271 00:16:50,919 --> 00:16:56,639 Now we get ready to sign the documentation for the divorce, 272 00:16:57,519 --> 00:17:02,440 and I said, what do you think? I think that 273 00:17:03,879 --> 00:17:06,079 you become your child's memory is like one of the 274 00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:08,720 more beautiful things I've ever heard about parenting ever. 275 00:17:09,519 --> 00:17:12,599 Speaker 3: I think that was a good line from Jesse. Well, 276 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,599 he had heard it from. 277 00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:15,640 Speaker 1: Me, he'd heard it, but he was the condo it. 278 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,880 Speaker 3: I thought that was a good line. But I would 279 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:25,200 argue that they they'd sullied their memories by him being 280 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,400 on TV telling thirty five guys, some of which he 281 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:34,039 had no relationship with, that her mother sold her body 282 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:39,160 at a remarkably reasonable price two millionaires, and then she 283 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:46,319 will be remembered for not judging but maybe society well 284 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:50,440 exclusively dating people that are famous. 285 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, so what Jesse did was he basically told a 286 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:58,559 bunch of people and then everyone that his wife cost 287 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:08,480 just marginal more than like a swamp cooler, which is 288 00:18:08,559 --> 00:18:14,720 damaging to the memory. Arguably, it's a little bit like 289 00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:17,720 Luke in Vader, like once you cut your son's arm off, 290 00:18:17,759 --> 00:18:23,720 it's tough to come back from that. They do. But still, okay, spoilers, 291 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,880 all right, how do we feel about cracking champagne for 292 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:31,319 this moment? I'm okay with that. I think that your 293 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,079 sensitive enough. 294 00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:36,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm okay with it. But her weeping, I thought 295 00:18:36,279 --> 00:18:37,480 was ridiculous. 296 00:18:38,039 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 1: I don't know what it's like. It is really it's 297 00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:45,759 I'm seeing divorce and my friends now and it's really 298 00:18:45,839 --> 00:18:50,640 really shocking to have been in love. You think about 299 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,400 when you get married to somebody. You get married to 300 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:57,079 somebody because you have these experiences that are so filled 301 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:02,680 with love and excitement and happiness, and then you start 302 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,000 hating that person. It's like a really crazy shit. 303 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,319 Speaker 3: Well let me tell you why I think this is performative. 304 00:19:10,599 --> 00:19:14,960 You do mourn the ending of a relationship, especially where 305 00:19:15,039 --> 00:19:18,920 someone you loved like a death, not as obviously, not 306 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,039 as dramatic, but you mourn it because it's over. There's 307 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,519 finality in it. She's been over this fucking guy for 308 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,680 three fucking years. It's over. 309 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:30,519 Speaker 1: It's over. 310 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:31,920 Speaker 3: So this was performative. 311 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,519 Speaker 1: Okay, So I gotta say, will you get to Magical 312 00:19:36,559 --> 00:19:38,079 Tiki the. 313 00:19:38,039 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 3: Magical Tiki boat? This is my worst nightmare. 314 00:19:41,039 --> 00:19:43,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is bad. I don't want to be. I 315 00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:47,000 don't want to be. Here's the thing. I if Dan 316 00:19:47,079 --> 00:19:50,079 Blzarian asked me to come on one of his yachts 317 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,319 in my cute little two piece, I would say, actually, no, 318 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,319 I don't want to be anywhere that I have to 319 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:58,440 swim to safety. Now I'll go out on a boat 320 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,440 for a little bit. But if it's like a boat 321 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,799 boat this, you're in this little tiny thing and you're 322 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,559 out in whatever. What are they in? Burbank or Hermosa 323 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,440 Beach or something. I don't know where this thing is. 324 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:16,599 But anyways, La La orders a virgin pina colada. The 325 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,000 rest of them ordered just regular pina coladas. 326 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,119 Speaker 3: I think that's a pineapple milkshake. 327 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I said. Last time I had 328 00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,359 him drink in rum in a long time. I have 329 00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:32,839 drank rum only if it's in a pina colada, a 330 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:37,559 pineapple milkshake, essentially pineapple coconut milkshake. So Schwartz tries to 331 00:20:37,599 --> 00:20:39,680 help the bartender. He says, hey, do you if you 332 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,799 need any help? I you know, I ran a couple 333 00:20:41,799 --> 00:20:42,119 of bars. 334 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,400 Speaker 3: No, he said, I ran a bar, And she says, 335 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,319 do I look? He said, I owned a bar. No no, no, no, no, no, 336 00:20:48,319 --> 00:20:53,480 you owned two failed bars, two, sir, Well, he owned nothing. 337 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,559 Speaker 1: So it's very important to say that he owned nothing, 338 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:05,799 because if you own two percent of something, that's not 339 00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:10,279 even close to a majority. Okay, but anyways, I guess 340 00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:14,400 you still own it. So Michelle is going to be 341 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,039 going on a date with this guy MAXI. 342 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 3: She never dates clients. 343 00:21:17,839 --> 00:21:19,759 Speaker 1: I one thing I love about summer is how easy 344 00:21:19,799 --> 00:21:20,559 everything feels. 345 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,039 Speaker 3: Me too. 346 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,519 Speaker 1: It's just easy, breezy. The days are a little more relaxed, 347 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,839 and I can find myself reaching for the same comfortable 348 00:21:27,839 --> 00:21:30,440 clothing over and over and over again. It's it's easy. 349 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:30,960 It's summer. 350 00:21:31,079 --> 00:21:32,079 Speaker 3: Are you talking about Quinn's. 351 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 1: That's why we keep coming back to Quins. Quins is 352 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:39,119 one hundred percent European linen. Pants and shirts are breatheable, 353 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,480 easy to throw on, and the summer upgrade your rotation needs. 354 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,160 Starting at just thirty four dollars. Leanin is one. It 355 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,880 looks good, it makes you look like you get a 356 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,559 little bit of class, and it's breatheable. Linen is the best. Okay, 357 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,599 and the quinn stuff I've been popping on the Quinns 358 00:21:54,599 --> 00:21:56,440 shorts at the house. It's a little hot. We don't 359 00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,319 have central ac We're in one of these charming uh 360 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,559 old sparksmens. Yeah. Yeah, very cute, but it gets hot. 361 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:10,599 Quince lets me breathe. My haunches dry, smooth and beautiful. 362 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:15,039 Speaker 3: Well here's my endorsement. I exclusively only wear their shirts. Yeah, 363 00:22:15,079 --> 00:22:15,599 it makes me. 364 00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 1: Look hot yep. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to 365 00:22:18,799 --> 00:22:21,039 quins dot com slash bad tv for free shipping on 366 00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:23,440 your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns. 367 00:22:23,599 --> 00:22:27,799 Now available in Canada too. That's Qui n ce dot 368 00:22:27,839 --> 00:22:30,759 com slash bad tv for free shipping and three hundred 369 00:22:30,799 --> 00:22:35,240 and sixty five day returns quints dot com slash bad TV. 370 00:22:35,799 --> 00:22:38,839 Today's episode is also brought to you by the marvelous 371 00:22:38,839 --> 00:22:43,480 people over at Loomy Gummies. Imagine if edibles made you 372 00:22:43,519 --> 00:22:47,000 feel good, not wonked out of your mind. Okay, you 373 00:22:47,039 --> 00:22:49,160 want to go to a movie, take an edible. Fine, 374 00:22:49,279 --> 00:22:51,480 don't take one of these nuclear ones. You won't even 375 00:22:51,559 --> 00:22:52,279 know what's going on. 376 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,759 Speaker 3: I took a nuclear one and I went to a movie. 377 00:22:55,799 --> 00:22:59,960 I thought I saw the honesty. I didn't see. 378 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,319 Speaker 1: No, you saw that new movie with me? 379 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 3: I saw Millions. 380 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, you saw Minions and it listen, it felt epic. 381 00:23:06,799 --> 00:23:09,240 But that's what happens when you're way too high. Now, 382 00:23:09,279 --> 00:23:12,119 that won't happen with Loomy. If you need help with sleep, 383 00:23:12,799 --> 00:23:15,640 they got it. If you need help with anxiety, they 384 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,480 got it. 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Her line of work, which 394 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:01,440 is high end real estate, sets her up perfectly for 395 00:24:01,519 --> 00:24:06,759 the dating market, perfectly. She's selling homes to a lot 396 00:24:06,759 --> 00:24:11,440 of men who are either fully estranged or just sick 397 00:24:11,559 --> 00:24:16,680 of their wives. Michelle Is would of course link up 398 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:24,680 with somebody like Michelle's gorgeous. She's uh, you know, she's successful. Yeah, 399 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,720 she's just in the right circles to meet somebody way 400 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,759 more impressive than Jesse. That's right, all right. So Schwartz 401 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,640 says that everyone is dismissive and weary of Janet's story 402 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:42,759 of sexual abuse, and Kristin chief among them. Now we 403 00:24:42,799 --> 00:24:46,200 get a double down for the ages. Kristen's had multiple 404 00:24:46,279 --> 00:24:49,319 opportunities to soften this a little bit, and she has 405 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,000 not until the end of this episode. 406 00:24:51,079 --> 00:24:54,799 Speaker 3: You know, her point is, I think she says, it's 407 00:24:54,839 --> 00:24:56,960 not that I don't believe her, it's that I just 408 00:24:57,039 --> 00:24:58,079 don't like her. 409 00:24:58,519 --> 00:25:02,200 Speaker 1: That's what she softens too. But her point was that 410 00:25:03,759 --> 00:25:08,680 her she's the accusation, is that it's contrived and she's 411 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,119 pulling it out. It's either fabricated or she's pulling it 412 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,960 out at a time that she thinks it's going to 413 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:15,000 present the most. 414 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:19,160 Speaker 3: Useful I'll say this, I know it's mean spirited. That's 415 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,079 her opinion, having known her, and it's I think it's 416 00:25:23,079 --> 00:25:24,759 okay to have an opinion on someone. 417 00:25:24,839 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: It's definitely not okay to have that opinion on this network, 418 00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:28,960 on this show. 419 00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, given our climate and such. Well, and she's 420 00:25:33,319 --> 00:25:35,559 these are the things that just people say in the quiet. 421 00:25:35,759 --> 00:25:36,720 I think it's. 422 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,519 Speaker 1: Gross, regardless of the turn of twenty sixteen or whatever, 423 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,640 to say that somebody's sexual abuse stories is not true, 424 00:25:45,039 --> 00:25:48,039 which is what she did in the beginning kind of 425 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,680 And I'm just thinking we'll get to the la la conversation. 426 00:25:52,839 --> 00:25:55,680 But Christen's going to have a tough time at the reunion. 427 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,519 Speaker 3: That's that's a tough it is. 428 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,880 Speaker 1: That's going to be a tough moment reunion for her. So, 429 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:07,920 speaking of let's get to couples counseling, Jesus Christ. Oh 430 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:12,359 that's right. So what is there to say? 431 00:26:12,839 --> 00:26:14,039 Speaker 3: I can break down a couple of things. 432 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, go for it, all right. 433 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 3: So the therapist brings up something I've not heard before, 434 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:20,640 but we should all know and more people should talk 435 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:27,160 about it. Having a newborn in a relationship is, in 436 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:33,599 my personal experience, is the biggest stressor in my life 437 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:38,359 and therefore also in my relationship part. 438 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:43,279 Speaker 1: It's one of the great marital stresses. Not it is 439 00:26:43,839 --> 00:26:47,400 the the I don't know if you're if you're going broke, 440 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,799 I think that's probably pretty bad. 441 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, those are financial, but this is the one 442 00:26:55,519 --> 00:26:58,119 that just because you don't talk about it, you're just thinking, 443 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,160 oh my god, we're gonna have a baby. This is 444 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,079 gonna be amazing, right, And then you're like, why the 445 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,559 fuck do we want to kill each other? Why the 446 00:27:05,559 --> 00:27:07,799 fuck do I hate you now? Why the fuck are 447 00:27:07,799 --> 00:27:10,039 we not having sex? Why the fuck? Blah blah blah blah. 448 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: This goes out on many people. How many people can 449 00:27:15,039 --> 00:27:17,640 you reach out to? How many podcasts can you listen to? 450 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,319 How many YouTube shorts can you scroll through to understand? 451 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,160 Speaker 3: Don't believe it. You don't understand it until it's really 452 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,359 just laid out for you, like. 453 00:27:26,559 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: No, I know. But when you're in the middle of it, 454 00:27:30,559 --> 00:27:33,799 the people have circles that they can they can lean on. 455 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,920 There there are ways to get the mess, to procure 456 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,079 the message. It's temporary and it's hard, Dylan. 457 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,839 Speaker 3: No one ever, Dylan, I'm telling you, no one ever 458 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:52,359 told me straight to my face. They said, like little 459 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,160 things like Lynette used to tell our friend Lynette, you say, uh, 460 00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,240 weekends are when you work, when you're the weekdays are 461 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,799 when the kids are at daycare or whatever. That's your vacation, 462 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,640 all right, little things like that. I would hear and go, Okay. 463 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 1: I don't want to get bogged down on this too much, 464 00:28:09,279 --> 00:28:12,200 but I have a hard time believing that you didn't. 465 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,279 I understand that when you have the baby, and it's 466 00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:18,559 your first baby, you there's a lot of bliss and 467 00:28:18,599 --> 00:28:20,160 you think it's going to be this beautiful thing, and 468 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,839 then you quickly realize that you've actually booked a one 469 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:23,759 way ticket. 470 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,559 Speaker 3: To hell that I had no idea what my wife 471 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:26,799 would hate me as much. 472 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:31,119 Speaker 1: Right exactly. But within the in the middle of that, 473 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,319 you got to come to an understanding. You come to 474 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:38,000 an understanding that it sucks, but but it's just a 475 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:42,480 period that you're going to get through. Luke does not 476 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:49,599 understand that he needs to have a level of constitution 477 00:28:51,319 --> 00:28:56,559 to get through this. He is, well, I want to 478 00:28:56,559 --> 00:29:01,200 pull my notes back out because it's it's just unbelievable 479 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,799 how much I dislike this guy. He's my least favorite 480 00:29:03,799 --> 00:29:04,839 person on this show. 481 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,680 Speaker 3: You're not gonna give him some grace because he's immature. 482 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: None. 483 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 3: He does say some pretty fucked up which is he 484 00:29:13,759 --> 00:29:18,039 explains that why he doubles down on the I don't 485 00:29:18,039 --> 00:29:19,880 know if we can get married is because he never 486 00:29:20,079 --> 00:29:23,519 met the pregnant Kristen before this. 487 00:29:23,519 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 1: This is why I hate him, right, because he is 488 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:34,920 he's very dumb, so to not understand. He frames this 489 00:29:35,079 --> 00:29:45,960 as though this is an aspect of her that he 490 00:29:46,039 --> 00:29:50,640 didn't know before, and it's this this thing whereas he 491 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:57,240 views it because he's so fucking dumb that she was 492 00:29:57,359 --> 00:30:00,240 hiding this or that this is something that he's now 493 00:30:00,279 --> 00:30:03,799 going to have to live with she had a fucking baby. 494 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,880 She's in a hormonal super nova. And it's not it's 495 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,680 not a hide side of her that is going to 496 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,759 be there for It's just this is really really tough. 497 00:30:15,039 --> 00:30:18,720 It's not doesn't reframe how you think about your fucking wife. 498 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,680 Speaker 3: Let me be the attorney for the caveman. 499 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I go for it. 500 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 3: Most dudes are unaware that this is what transpires after 501 00:30:28,519 --> 00:30:31,440 a woman has a baby. He is a dumb caveman, 502 00:30:31,839 --> 00:30:34,720 like a lot. Why do you think most divorces happened 503 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,519 the first two years of a baby being born. It's 504 00:30:37,559 --> 00:30:41,880 because shit like this. Dudes are not emotionally mentally prepared 505 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,599 to understand the needs of the female. That's why I'm 506 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,000 saying it would be so nice if we fucking really 507 00:30:48,319 --> 00:30:49,920 educated people go like totally. 508 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,119 Speaker 1: That was my whole point to make I understand what 509 00:30:53,119 --> 00:30:59,359 you're saying. We will fail. There's no there's no you're 510 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,279 not going to have a batting average when you're a 511 00:31:01,319 --> 00:31:03,160 guy and you're dealing with this stuff. There's no way 512 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,039 you don't get her. She's going through a ton, so 513 00:31:05,079 --> 00:31:10,279 it's always going to be really really messy. But the 514 00:31:10,279 --> 00:31:13,519 the the chicken littling of it all is what is 515 00:31:13,559 --> 00:31:15,119 super frustrating. 516 00:31:14,559 --> 00:31:17,079 Speaker 3: To and doubling down and not being understanding that the 517 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,119 idea of throwing things out there, like I said, he 518 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,920 hadn't meant the pregnant Kristen before, Like that's you've had 519 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,079 time to sit on this, you idiot, right, what the 520 00:31:25,119 --> 00:31:25,680 fuck are you doing? 521 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,839 Speaker 1: And yeah, my my larger point is like that's not 522 00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:32,000 a person. The pregnant Kristin is not a person. And 523 00:31:32,079 --> 00:31:37,200 it's a period. And looking at we've got another deadbeat 524 00:31:37,319 --> 00:31:41,240 bumpkin who they they always want to have more children, 525 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:50,000 he wants to have another we want what the therapist 526 00:31:50,119 --> 00:31:54,720 is that Luke needs to hear. I hate the way 527 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:55,799 we end this conversation. 528 00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,720 Speaker 3: We end it with a session in stillness, whatever the 529 00:32:00,759 --> 00:32:01,440 fuck that means. 530 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 1: We end it with the therapist telling Luke that he 531 00:32:05,519 --> 00:32:09,720 needs to hear that his stupidity has caused Kristen to 532 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:14,640 recalibrate and make sure she doesn't cause him this stress again. 533 00:32:15,119 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 3: So it's almost. 534 00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:23,079 Speaker 1: As if like like she's pushing his head in a 535 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,880 pile of love. She's like, are you listening to what 536 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:31,599 she's saying? She loves you so much that she's willing 537 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,960 to do her best to change. 538 00:32:34,079 --> 00:32:37,039 Speaker 3: Even though she's the one going. 539 00:32:36,759 --> 00:32:41,799 Speaker 1: Through the fucking crazy biological torrent. She loves your dumbass 540 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:45,359 so much that she's willing to change more than you are. 541 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:50,680 Speaker 3: Right, Well, look, good therapists, Sorry they try, Dylan good. 542 00:32:50,839 --> 00:32:54,160 Your wife is a therapist, good therapist, no matter how 543 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,519 they try, and find a way to get you to 544 00:32:56,599 --> 00:32:57,799 the water to drink it. 545 00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,759 Speaker 1: Right, totally all right, So let's get to me Ma 546 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,680 Cruz is doing better, and Janet heads over. 547 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,559 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's because that rage of coke field addict is 548 00:33:06,559 --> 00:33:07,759 a living in that goddamn yeah. 549 00:33:07,799 --> 00:33:11,079 Speaker 1: No, it's very stressful when they're around. It's almost like 550 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:16,480 the what a rage felled coke addict is the dad 551 00:33:16,519 --> 00:33:18,799 in the house, a little bit like the temp the thermostat. 552 00:33:18,839 --> 00:33:21,200 I was always said, at like fifty seven, You're just like, 553 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,640 what is going on in here? I'm so I need 554 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:29,440 a jacket. His energy just I can't even imagine it. 555 00:33:30,319 --> 00:33:33,559 Janet heads over to pick up Cruz because Britney can't, 556 00:33:34,119 --> 00:33:36,880 and she begins talking about Halloween. 557 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 3: I love Halloween, she loves it. 558 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 1: I'm all throw the biggest party I've ever thrown. Okay. 559 00:33:44,359 --> 00:33:51,039 It's going to be a Victorian vampire Renaissance mansion Halloween bonanza. Okay, 560 00:33:52,599 --> 00:33:55,519 and she's going to be doing a photo shoot. We 561 00:33:55,599 --> 00:33:59,440 will get to the photo shoot. Okay. Now we had to. 562 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,960 We had a new engagement and unironic big brand chain 563 00:34:04,319 --> 00:34:05,319 restaurant outing with. 564 00:34:05,359 --> 00:34:07,720 Speaker 3: Janet baby baby, baby back. 565 00:34:08,519 --> 00:34:11,039 Speaker 4: I want my baby back, baby back, baby back. I 566 00:34:11,079 --> 00:34:14,079 want my baby back, baby back, baby back. Here's supposed 567 00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:15,800 to do baby back, baby no, no, no. 568 00:34:16,039 --> 00:34:19,239 Speaker 1: I I'll take it. Keep going. 569 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:32,719 Speaker 3: I want my baby back. I want my baby baby Yeah. 570 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,719 Do you know? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I mean they did 571 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:40,519 there long time ago Chili's where I haven't been that 572 00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:43,039 Chili's they went to is in Sino in Ventura Boulevard. 573 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:50,199 Is the second cousin to Fridays. Also a menu that 574 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:55,000 is thirty eight pages long. Also they serve well. Their 575 00:34:55,039 --> 00:34:57,480 menu has no theme well. 576 00:34:57,519 --> 00:35:01,800 Speaker 1: Their menu is designed for the the literate populace of 577 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,840 the United States of America. It's mostly pictures, it's loud, 578 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,159 patriotic colors, and it's fried foods. It's one of the 579 00:35:08,159 --> 00:35:11,280 horsemen of the apocalypse. Jannit does not see it for 580 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:16,199 what it is. A thinly veiled missile. She is going 581 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,119 to go in there and have a great time. 582 00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,679 Speaker 3: Look at the cheese pole. 583 00:35:20,599 --> 00:35:26,079 Speaker 1: Shut up. Okay. Also, we spent six hundred dollars on 584 00:35:26,159 --> 00:35:28,679 breakfast from McDonald It's just a lot. 585 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,199 Speaker 3: There's no way she was doing supersize me. 586 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,679 Speaker 1: Then he's dead. 587 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 3: He died, by the way. Another guy who went out 588 00:35:38,519 --> 00:35:42,320 right at the right time. He's getting me too. It's like, oh, 589 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,639 let me just die. Morgan. 590 00:35:45,639 --> 00:35:55,360 Speaker 1: Are you eating McDonald's again? Yeah? Why no reason? Oh 591 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,840 my god, your energy levels are so low. 592 00:35:59,079 --> 00:36:03,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, welcome McDonald's. Would you like to supersize it? 593 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:09,239 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, they got rid of that because sometimes you 594 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:14,159 fly too close to the sun. These companies have made 595 00:36:14,159 --> 00:36:17,639 it a mission to kill us and make fun of 596 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:24,000 us along the way. But supersize me. That's we caught 597 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:24,320 it off. 598 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:30,280 Speaker 3: M h. I've never seen. 599 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,119 Speaker 1: I think they're trying to kill us. 600 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:40,719 Speaker 3: I've never seen longer lines at every McDonald's in my life. 601 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:49,320 Now did not work. No, they're still killing us. Oh yeah, 602 00:36:49,599 --> 00:36:52,280 I haven't eaten McDonald's now in three months. 603 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,360 Speaker 1: Last time you said two years. 604 00:36:55,880 --> 00:37:00,559 Speaker 3: No, I French fries are some bullshit, picking it up, 605 00:37:00,559 --> 00:37:03,119 happy meals for the kids. I feed my children this poison. 606 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, well the last time you ate it was 607 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:06,599 three months ago. 608 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:07,280 Speaker 3: Three months ago? 609 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you get? 610 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 3: French fries? Ice cream? 611 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,719 Speaker 1: Sorry? You get French fries and ice cream? Yeah? 612 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,360 Speaker 3: I think I meant to say fast food in general. 613 00:37:22,159 --> 00:37:27,239 Speaker 1: Okay, So you get a Sunday or they don't flurry. 614 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,239 Speaker 3: They don't sell Sundays. 615 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:32,360 Speaker 1: There, the cone, the cone? You get the cone. God, 616 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:34,199 I haven't gotten a cone in a while. 617 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:36,599 Speaker 3: It's hard to take in a car. 618 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:42,039 Speaker 1: That soft serve is pretty electric. Okay, Sorry, we're getting distracted. 619 00:37:43,079 --> 00:37:45,639 I smoked a joint and you're talking about McDonald's soft serve. 620 00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:49,239 It's like, I'm kind of fucked up right now. Okay, 621 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,599 So we're going to be going to Chili's and Nia 622 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:56,719 and Kristen are not going to be invited. Now, burn 623 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:05,039 you don't you don't get to You don't get the cheeseburger, 624 00:38:05,039 --> 00:38:09,880 egg rollths you bitch. Okay, all right, So we get 625 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:13,239 to Chili's. Jane says, I'm from Ohio, I love a chain, 626 00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:17,000 and we talked about her ordering six hundred dollars to 627 00:38:17,039 --> 00:38:19,559 breakfast for McDonald's. Now, I just I want to just 628 00:38:19,639 --> 00:38:21,960 drill down on this a little bit. I googled it 629 00:38:22,519 --> 00:38:28,079 and Google's AI said, six hundred dollars can buy you 630 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:33,480 sixty five to one hundred McDonald's breakfast menu items. Now, 631 00:38:34,199 --> 00:38:39,519 I'm not saying that Janet didn't have monstrous mornings where 632 00:38:40,039 --> 00:38:43,039 maybe she put down three or four egg mcmuffins. You 633 00:38:43,039 --> 00:38:46,800 could do it. There's I just don't think maybe she 634 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:50,079 was postmating it. So the delivery charges and stuff, But 635 00:38:50,199 --> 00:38:53,239 six hundred dollars a month on breakfast is just six. 636 00:38:53,119 --> 00:38:55,880 Speaker 3: Hundred a month. Oh, I thought through the entire pregnancy. Okay, 637 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:56,440 that's a lie. 638 00:38:56,639 --> 00:38:58,679 Speaker 1: It's a lie. That's one of these things. It's just 639 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,639 like you can spot those things where you're like, god, 640 00:39:01,679 --> 00:39:06,400 I don't know about that. We have a moment from 641 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,400 Zach where Michelle walks in she's in a bear middrift, 642 00:39:09,519 --> 00:39:14,280 and he says, Michelle had her first French fry like 643 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,480 two weeks ago. I don't think she's ready for a 644 00:39:16,519 --> 00:39:26,239 jalapeno popper. My god, I Jim Downey walk on stage. 645 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,800 We are all dumber for having to watch you on 646 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:30,480 this show. 647 00:39:32,639 --> 00:39:39,599 Speaker 3: Fuck I mean. And then then after that little dust 648 00:39:39,679 --> 00:39:43,440 up he house with Britney for some reason about dismissing 649 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,920 her feelings. Then he goes and shits himself. 650 00:39:45,559 --> 00:39:48,320 Speaker 1: In this disgusting, fucking creature. 651 00:39:50,199 --> 00:39:53,800 Speaker 3: Throws aways underwear in a Chili's bathroom. Can you imagine this? 652 00:39:54,039 --> 00:40:01,000 Speaker 1: Disgusting? Just you know a nutria you know nutria nutrient. Yeah, 653 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,599 it's an everglade rat. They're an invasive species. They look 654 00:40:04,639 --> 00:40:10,960 like massive combats, right yeah, now now, yeah, you see 655 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:11,559 the nutrient. 656 00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:13,840 Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, that's that's what I thought it looked like. 657 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:14,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, can pulled up. 658 00:40:15,039 --> 00:40:16,440 Speaker 3: We're going to see one of those, I think on 659 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,079 the season of Orange County. 660 00:40:19,519 --> 00:40:29,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's camera. Yeah, Now, I don't want to insult nutrient. 661 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:34,679 And while they are an invasive species, there are people too. 662 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,920 Zacha goes in the bathroom and tries to Jim carry 663 00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:47,800 his way through a routine of shitting himself, and he 664 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:53,800 ships himself. Oops poop, I mean oops poop, he's peeing, 665 00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:59,400 he farts, little ship comes out. Now we've all been there, right. 666 00:40:59,559 --> 00:41:01,880 Speaker 3: Not a Chili's restaurant. 667 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:06,079 Speaker 1: Well most for the majority of people. It actually does 668 00:41:06,119 --> 00:41:15,440 take place at Chili's because the the fajitas act fast 669 00:41:18,079 --> 00:41:22,639 and also the triple dippers have It's more cheese than 670 00:41:22,679 --> 00:41:25,440 you could ever imagine, and your body just can't process 671 00:41:25,519 --> 00:41:35,400 that stuff. So couple that with a Nashville flaming hot oil, 672 00:41:36,559 --> 00:41:37,440 you're going. 673 00:41:37,199 --> 00:41:38,079 Speaker 3: To sheep. 674 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:44,239 Speaker 1: To the point where I wonder if they have like 675 00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:48,199 three restrooms, you know, one for this. 676 00:41:48,199 --> 00:41:48,840 Speaker 3: Can I tell you? 677 00:41:49,079 --> 00:41:49,599 Speaker 1: Yeah? 678 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,639 Speaker 3: When I worked at weather Vane Silpons, which was ninety Yeah, 679 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,280 it was a seafood restaurant, but it was fried food, 680 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,840 and we were frying everything. At the end of the night, 681 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,239 I felt so bad because I got to leave. I 682 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,880 only had to clean the kitchen. I would see both 683 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:10,840 the men's room and the lady's room. The poor guys 684 00:42:11,119 --> 00:42:13,519 with the mop buckets, what they had to clean up 685 00:42:13,559 --> 00:42:13,880 in there. 686 00:42:14,039 --> 00:42:14,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. 687 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,320 Speaker 3: People made messes out of that place. 688 00:42:17,119 --> 00:42:24,320 Speaker 1: Food out, Yeah, looks like you know, barbarian when they 689 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:28,880 go into the house. Yeah, yeah, it looks like that. 690 00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:34,840 But let's talk about really quickly the etiquette that one 691 00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:40,719 has to demonstrate and display when you mess yourself. Zach 692 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,000 goes in shits himself right, he throws away his underwear 693 00:42:44,079 --> 00:42:47,599 at obvious first move. You have to do that. You 694 00:42:47,639 --> 00:42:52,800 can't then go and sit your nasty, shitty ass back 695 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:57,559 down at the table loosely in your jeans. Okay, and 696 00:42:57,679 --> 00:43:03,559 La La smelled that, and there's pat you shit yourself. 697 00:43:04,639 --> 00:43:08,199 You need a power host, You need at least a shower. 698 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,679 You're not going to just take the toilet paper at 699 00:43:10,679 --> 00:43:13,760 that restaurant and get the scent of that mistake off 700 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,559 of you. You're going to go back and sit down 701 00:43:15,599 --> 00:43:19,440 at the table. I mean, just a gitteous thing to do. 702 00:43:19,519 --> 00:43:21,360 All right, we've talked about it for way too long. 703 00:43:21,639 --> 00:43:23,360 Discuss all right, So let's get. 704 00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:26,039 Speaker 3: To the Mummy makeover photoshoot. 705 00:43:26,639 --> 00:43:30,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, let's do that. Very sweet for Brittany. She 706 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:33,760 has been belittled for years and it feels like finally 707 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:41,800 she can be proud to be herself. Also, who pays 708 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:45,880 for a photo shoot for just themselves? It's just it's 709 00:43:46,079 --> 00:43:49,280 very odd. What did you think of the photo shoot? 710 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,280 Speaker 3: I thought I thought it was great. 711 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:55,360 Speaker 1: Okay, let's move on. The gals sit down. Why did 712 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,440 you want to get there? 713 00:43:57,039 --> 00:43:58,039 Speaker 3: Well, we have to cover. 714 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:03,360 Speaker 1: It, so let's cover it. I said, what I think? Oh? 715 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:08,079 Speaker 3: Well, the her friends La La and Kristen show up 716 00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:11,480 for support, and then the three talk about the group 717 00:44:11,599 --> 00:44:16,960 dynamic and Zach and Lacey actually hate Janet but won't 718 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,440 admit it, and then we learn that Lacey walking into 719 00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:23,559 Chili's was actually on the phone Chris and it said 720 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:27,280 I fucking hate this bitch. And then Nia apparently he's 721 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:31,079 been acting like uh Vito Corleone, pulling all the fucking strings, 722 00:44:31,119 --> 00:44:33,039 you know, and that's what they talk. 723 00:44:33,119 --> 00:44:33,519 Speaker 1: I want my. 724 00:44:33,599 --> 00:44:36,559 Speaker 4: Baby back, baby back, baby back. I want my baby back, 725 00:44:36,639 --> 00:44:39,400 baby back, baby back. I want my baby back, baby 726 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,639 and back baby, I. 727 00:44:40,599 --> 00:44:44,119 Speaker 1: Want my baby chilies be. 728 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:47,079 Speaker 3: La La lays out, I. 729 00:44:47,119 --> 00:44:49,199 Speaker 1: Watched The Office, man, you gotta watch the. 730 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,679 Speaker 3: I've never seen an episode. La La lays out how 731 00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:56,039 Christen has been rolling on Nia while sharing it to 732 00:44:56,079 --> 00:44:56,840 her homies. 733 00:44:58,519 --> 00:45:03,360 Speaker 1: Now have La simp cannot speak like this. It's simply 734 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:07,960 so unbelievable that you are speaking like this. I want 735 00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:12,320 to talk about really quickly. The Forgotten Four see the 736 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:16,960 post on Instagram that this crew is all at this 737 00:45:17,079 --> 00:45:23,039 chain restaurant together, and Danny asks what's up with Zach 738 00:45:23,199 --> 00:45:27,559 the flip flopper, and Nia says, this is where you 739 00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:32,280 gotta listen to who Nia is. He's not flip flopping 740 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:40,719 at all. He's Janet's best friend. It's so pathetic. The 741 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:46,119 two of them are so pathetic. He doesn't like Janet. 742 00:45:46,519 --> 00:45:50,039 He likes you guys to be this like petty and 743 00:45:50,159 --> 00:45:53,960 cagey and paranoid about friendships at this age, with this 744 00:45:54,119 --> 00:45:56,119 many children, it's pathetic. 745 00:45:57,199 --> 00:46:00,800 Speaker 3: So let's get to La La visits Kristin. 746 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:05,280 Speaker 1: Well, first there's this thing where there's a clip of 747 00:46:06,159 --> 00:46:11,079 Nia mocking Zach for acknowledging Zach's presence on the boat 748 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:15,639 or on the bus, and we get and then we 749 00:46:15,639 --> 00:46:17,639 get Zach. We get a lot of look backs, a 750 00:46:17,679 --> 00:46:22,679 lot of yes at this gameplay. And then Kristen says 751 00:46:23,119 --> 00:46:28,400 that Zach texted her to yell at Janet on his 752 00:46:28,679 --> 00:46:33,199 behalf at the Halloween party. 753 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,320 Speaker 3: I can't believe they're putting it in writing. 754 00:46:37,119 --> 00:46:40,159 Speaker 1: Can you believe grown adults behave this way? I mean, 755 00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,960 he is just it's crazy, all right. So let's get 756 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:49,719 to La La talking to Kristen. Lawa has essentially gone 757 00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:55,559 there to cut this off at the pass. Go uh, Kristen, 758 00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:59,360 you're on Bravo. Yeah, you cannot do this. 759 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,840 Speaker 3: I would argue maybe one of those little secret texts 760 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,400 like I'm gonna show up here and then you're gonna go, yeah, 761 00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,199 you're right, La La, Right, we should support women. 762 00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,119 Speaker 1: Which is exactly what they do. We'll get to the 763 00:47:10,119 --> 00:47:11,360 season finale next week. 764 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:13,679 Speaker 3: I'm very Next week's the season finale. 765 00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,519 Speaker 1: Weeks the season finale, and then we get the reunion, 766 00:47:16,519 --> 00:47:18,880 which I'm very excited about. Until then, get in the comments, 767 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,679 let us know what you thought about the episode. We 768 00:47:20,679 --> 00:47:22,320 will see you next week. From More Valley. I'm doing 769 00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:41,239 saying goobye God say goodbye.