Speaker 1: You know, there's something quite fascinating about overthinking that most
Speaker 1: people completely miss. We treat it as an enemy, as
Speaker 1: a problem to be solved, as a malfunction of the
Speaker 1: mind that needs to be fixed. We say things like
Speaker 1: I need to stop overthinking, or my overthinking is ruining
Speaker 1: my life. But what if I told you that your
Speaker 1: overthinking isn't actually the problem. What if it's trying to
Speaker 1: tell you something extremely important and you're just not listening.
Speaker 1: Let me put it this way. Overthinking is like a
Speaker 1: smoke alarm going off in your house. Now you can
Speaker 1: stand there cursing the smoke alarm, wishing it would shut up,
Speaker 1: trying various techniques to silence it. You can practice mindfulness
Speaker 1: to ignore it. You can use affirmations to drown it out.
Speaker 1: You can distract yourself so you don't hear it. But
Speaker 1: none of that addresses the actual question, why is the
Speaker 1: alarm going off in the first place? What fire is
Speaker 1: it trying to alert you to? Most approaches to dealing
Speaker 1: with overthinking treated as if the overthinking itself is the fire.
Speaker 1: But I want to suggest that overthinking is the alarm,
Speaker 1: not the fire. It's a signal, a message, a symptom
Speaker 1: pointing to something deeper, and until you understand what it's
Speaker 1: trying to tell you, no amount of techniques for quieting
Speaker 1: the mind will actually solve anything. You'll just be a
Speaker 1: person standing in a burning house congratulating yourself on how
Speaker 1: well you've learned to ignore the smoke alarm. So what
Speaker 1: is overthinking really trying to tell you? Well, there are
Speaker 1: several possibilities, and they're all pointing to the same fundamental issue.
Speaker 1: You're living out of alignment with your actual nature, with
Speaker 1: what you genuinely are beneath all the conditioning and expectations
Speaker 1: and roles you've taken on. The first thing overthinking might
Speaker 1: be telling you is this, you're trying to control something
Speaker 1: that cannot be controlled. Think about when your mind goes
Speaker 1: into overdrive. It's usually when you're facing uncertainty, isn't it
Speaker 1: When you don't know what's going to happen, When the
Speaker 1: future is unclear, when you can't predict the outcome, Your
Speaker 1: mind starts spinning, trying to think through every possibility, trying
Speaker 1: to plan for every contingency, trying to find some way
Speaker 1: to guarantee a particular result. But here's what your overthinking
Speaker 1: is really saying. You're trying to control life, and life
Speaker 1: cannot be controlled. The mind goes into overdrive because you've
Speaker 1: given it an impossible task. It's like asking your mind
Speaker 1: to calculate the exact position where a falling leaf will land.
Speaker 1: The variables are infinite, the factors are constantly changing, and
Speaker 1: the whole enterprise is fundamentally absurd, But you keep asking
Speaker 1: your mind to do it anyway, and then you wonder
Speaker 1: why your mind is exhausted. Your overthinking is not the problem.
Speaker 1: Your relationship to uncertainty is the problem. Your inability to
Speaker 1: be comfortable with not knowing is the problem. Your desperate
Speaker 1: need to control outcomes is the problem. The overthinking is
Speaker 1: just your mind's futile attempt to fulfill an impossible demand
Speaker 1: that you're placing upon it now. The second thing your
Speaker 1: overthinking might be telling you is this, you don't trust yourself.
Speaker 1: Listen carefully to the content of your overthinking. What is
Speaker 1: it usually about? It's about decisions, isn't it? Should I
Speaker 1: take this job or that job? Should I stay in
Speaker 1: this relationship or leave? Should I say yes or no?
Speaker 1: And you go round and round weighing the options, making
Speaker 1: lists of pros and cons asking everyone else what they think,
Speaker 1: But you still can't decide why because you don't trust
Speaker 1: that you'll be okay regardless of what you choose. You
Speaker 1: don't trust your ability to handle whatever consequences come from
Speaker 1: your decision. You don't trust that you have the resilience,
Speaker 1: the resourcefulness, the fundamental okyness to navigate whatever unfolds. And
Speaker 1: so your mind keeps churning, looking for the perfect decision,
Speaker 1: the risk free choice, the guaranteed right answer. But there
Speaker 1: is no perfect decision, There is no risk free choice,
Speaker 1: there is no guaranteed right answer. Life doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1: Every choice leads somewhere, and you can't know in advance
Speaker 1: where that somewhere is. The Only way to stop overthinking
Speaker 1: your decisions is to develop trust in yourself, to know
Speaker 1: that whatever you choose, you have the capacity to deal
Speaker 1: with what comes next. Your overthinking is telling you you
Speaker 1: don't believe in yourself. You don't trust your own resilience.
Speaker 1: You're looking outside yourself for certainty because you don't feel
Speaker 1: certain inside yourself. And until you address that fundamental lack
Speaker 1: of self trust, no amount of decision making frameworks or
Speaker 1: pro con lists will quiet your mind. Here's a third thing.
Speaker 1: Your overthinking might be revealing your living according to some
Speaker 1: one else's script when your mind won't stop spinning about
Speaker 1: what you should do. Whose script are you following? When
Speaker 1: you are agonizing over the right choice? Who decid I did? What?
Speaker 1: Right means? When you're worried about making a mistake, who
Speaker 1: defined what constitutes a mistake? Very often, overthinking is the
Speaker 1: mind's response to trying to live a life that isn't
Speaker 1: actually yours. You've absorbed so many expectations from your parents,
Speaker 1: your culture, your education, your peers, that you've lost touch
Speaker 1: with what you actually want, and so every decision becomes
Speaker 1: an impossible maze because you're trying to satisfy requirements that
Speaker 1: aren't even yours, trying to live up to standards you
Speaker 1: never chose, trying to become someone you never wanted to be.
Speaker 1: Your overthinking is saying this life you're trying to live
Speaker 1: doesn't fit. These choices you're agonizing over aren't really your choices.
Speaker 1: You're trying to force yourself into a shape that isn't
Speaker 1: your natural shape, and I'm exhausting myself trying to make
Speaker 1: it work. The solution isn't to think harder or get
Speaker 1: better at decisions. The solution is to stop living someone
Speaker 1: else's life and start living your own. But here's where
Speaker 1: it gets really interesting. There's a fourth message your overthinking
Speaker 1: might be sending, and it's the deepest one of all.
Speaker 1: Your overthinking might be telling you you've forgotten that you're
Speaker 1: not actually the thinker. You've identified yourself with your thoughts,
Speaker 1: and now you're trying to use thinking to solve the
Speaker 1: problem of thinking, which is like trying to use fire
Speaker 1: to put out fire. You see, most people assume that
Speaker 1: they are their thoughts. When thoughts arise, they say I
Speaker 1: am thinking. When the mind is busy, they say, I
Speaker 1: can't quiet my mind. But who is this eye that
Speaker 1: has a mind? Who is this eye that thinks thoughts?
Speaker 1: If you look carefully, you'll find that there's an awareness
Speaker 1: prior to thought, a consciousness that witnesses thinking without being
Speaker 1: identical to thinking. You are not the thoughts. You are
Speaker 1: that which is aware of thoughts. But somewhere along the
Speaker 1: way you've become hypnotized by the content of thinking. You've
Speaker 1: become so identified with the stream of thoughts that you've
Speaker 1: forgotten you're the s in which the thoughts appear, and
Speaker 1: So when overthinking happens, you think it's happening to you,
Speaker 1: when really it's just happening in you, like weather happening
Speaker 1: in the sky. Your overthinking is trying to wake you
Speaker 1: up to this fact. It's saying, Notice how exhausting it
Speaker 1: is to be completely identified with thinking. Notice how it
Speaker 1: never ends, How one thought leads to another leads to
Speaker 1: another in an endless chain. Notice that the thinker who's
Speaker 1: trying to stop thinking is itself just another thought. The
Speaker 1: only way out is to recognize what you are beneath
Speaker 1: all the thinking. This is what the meditation teachers are
Speaker 1: pointing to when they talk about observing your thoughts without
Speaker 1: identifying with them. But it's not really a technique, it's
Speaker 1: a recognition. It's seeing that you are the observing, not
Speaker 1: the thinking. And when you see this clearly, not just intellectually,
Speaker 1: but experientially, the whole problem of overthinking dissolves, not because
Speaker 1: the thoughts stop, but because you're no longer imprisoned by them. Now,
Speaker 1: let me tell you about fifth possibility. Your overthinking might
Speaker 1: be telling you that you're avoiding something. Think about when
Speaker 1: your mind really goes into overdrive. Often it's when there's
Speaker 1: something you don't want to feel. Isn't it some emotion
Speaker 1: you don't want to experience, some truth you don't want
Speaker 1: to face, some action you don't want to take, And
Speaker 1: so the mind starts spinning, creating elaborate stories and scenarios
Speaker 1: and analyzes anything to avoid that simple direct experience of
Speaker 1: what is The overthinking becomes a kind of escape mechanism,
Speaker 1: a way of staying in your head so you don't
Speaker 1: have to be in your heart, or in your body,
Speaker 1: or in the actual present moment with its uncomfortable feelings
Speaker 1: and difficult truths. Your overthinking is saying, there's something here
Speaker 1: you're trying not to see, there's something you're trying not
Speaker 1: to feel, And I'm going to keep spinning and spinning
Speaker 1: until you stop avoiding and finally face what's actually here.
Speaker 1: In this case, the solution to overthinking isn't thinking better
Speaker 1: or thinking less. It's feeling more. It's dropping down out
Speaker 1: of your head and into direct experience. It's having the
Speaker 1: courage to face what you've been running from. Here's another
Speaker 1: message your overthinking might be conveying. You're trying to live
Speaker 1: in the future instead of the present. Notice that overthinking
Speaker 1: is almost always about what might happen, what could go wrong,
Speaker 1: what you should do next. It's rarely about this actual
Speaker 1: moment right now. The mind is in the future, trying
Speaker 1: to control it, plan for it, prepare for it. But
Speaker 1: you can't actually live in the future. You can only
Speaker 1: live now. And when you try to live in a
Speaker 1: time that doesn't exist yet, your mind goes crazy trying
Speaker 1: to make the impossible possible. Your overthinking is telling you
Speaker 1: come back to now. Stop trying to live in the future.
Speaker 1: The only moment you can actually inhabit is this one.
Speaker 1: This doesn't mean you never plan or think about the future.
Speaker 1: It means you do your planning from a grounded presence
Speaker 1: in the now, rather than from an anxious obsession with
Speaker 1: what hasn't happened yet. There's a huge difference. One is functional,
Speaker 1: the other is neurotic. Let me share one more thing
Speaker 1: your overthinking might be revealing. It might be telling you
Speaker 1: that your approaching life is a problem to be solved
Speaker 1: rather than an experience to be lived. The overthinker treats
Speaker 1: life like a puzzle. If I just think hard enough,
Speaker 1: if I just figure out the right answers, if I
Speaker 1: just understand all the variables, then I can solve this
Speaker 1: puzzle called life and finally be at peace. But life
Speaker 1: isn't a puzzle with a solution. Life is an experience,
Speaker 1: a happening, an unfolding. It's not something to be figured out.
Speaker 1: It's something to be lived. And when you approach it
Speaker 1: as a problem to be solved, your mind will never
Speaker 1: rest because there is no solution. There's only this moment,
Speaker 1: and then this moment, and then this moment, each one new,
Speaker 1: each one asking not for analysis, but for presents. Your
Speaker 1: overthinking is saying you're using the wrong tool for the task.
Speaker 1: You're trying to think your way through something that can
Speaker 1: only be experienced, lived, moved through with your whole being,
Speaker 1: not just your mind. The solution is to put down
Speaker 1: the tool of thinking when it's not appropriate, and to
Speaker 1: engage with life more directly, more fully, with all of yourself,
Speaker 1: not just your analyzing mind. Now, I want to be
Speaker 1: very clear about something. I'm not saying that thinking is
Speaker 1: bad or that you should never think. Thinking is a
Speaker 1: wonderful tool when used appropriately. If you're building a house,
Speaker 1: you need to think about the design. If you're solving
Speaker 1: a mathematical problem, you need to use your rational mind.
Speaker 1: Thinking has its place. What I'm saying is that overthinking,
Speaker 1: that compulsive, exhausting, circular kind of thinking, is a message.
Speaker 1: It's your system's way of telling you that something is
Speaker 1: out of balance, that you're using thinking where it doesn't belong,
Speaker 1: that you're trying to use your mind to solve problems
Speaker 1: that can't be solved by the mind. So what do
Speaker 1: you do with this understanding? How do you work with
Speaker 1: overthinking once you see it as a message rather than
Speaker 1: an enemy. First, when you notice yourself overthinking, stop fighting it,
Speaker 1: stop trying to make it go away. Instead, get curious,
Speaker 1: Ask yourself, what is this trying to tell me? What
Speaker 1: am I trying to control that can't be controlled? What
Speaker 1: am I not trusting? Whose life am I trying to live?
Speaker 1: What am I avoiding? Where am I trying to live
Speaker 1: other than this present moment? Be honest with yourself. The
Speaker 1: overthinking will show you where you're out of alignment if
Speaker 1: you're willing to look. And then, instead of trying to
Speaker 1: fix the overthinking, address what it's pointing to. If it's
Speaker 1: showing you that you're trying to control too much, practice
Speaker 1: letting go. If it's showing you that you don't trust yourself,
Speaker 1: work on building self trust. If it's showing you that
Speaker 1: you're avoiding something, have the courage to face it. The
Speaker 1: overthinking will naturally quiet down when you address the underlying issue,
Speaker 1: not because you've used some technique to silence it, but
Speaker 1: because it no longer needs to send you the message.
Speaker 1: The alarm goes quiet when you put out the fire.
Speaker 1: And here's the beautiful thing. When you start working with
Speaker 1: overthinking this way, when you start listening to what it's
Speaker 1: trying to tell you, you begin to develop a different
Speaker 1: relationship with your mind. You stop seeing it as an
Speaker 1: enemy and start seeing it as an ally, as a
Speaker 1: feedback mechanism that's actually trying to help you live more authentically,
Speaker 1: more presently, more in alignment with your true nature. Your
Speaker 1: mind is not against you. It's trying to get your attention.
Speaker 1: It's trying to wake you up, and yes, it's doing
Speaker 1: it in an exhausting, uncomfortable way, but that's because you
Speaker 1: haven't been listening to the gentler signals. Overthinking is what
Speaker 1: happens when you ignore the whispers and the mind has
Speaker 1: to start shouting. So listen, pay attention. Be grateful that
Speaker 1: your mind cares enough about your well being to send
Speaker 1: you such loud signals and then do what needs to
Speaker 1: be done, address the underlying issue, make the changes that
Speaker 1: need to be made, have the courage to live the
Speaker 1: life you're actually meant to live, rather than the one
Speaker 1: you think you should live. And in doing this you
Speaker 1: may discover something wonderful. You may discover that the mind,
Speaker 1: when it's not being asked to do impossible things, when
Speaker 1: it's not trying to control the uncontrollable or solve the unsolvable,
Speaker 1: is actually quite peaceful. Thoughts come and go, but there's
Speaker 1: a natural ease to it, a natural flow. The mind
Speaker 1: becomes like a clear pool of water, occasionally rippled by
Speaker 1: a passing breeze, but fundamentally still fundamentally at rest. This
Speaker 1: is what's possible when you stop treating overthinking as the
Speaker 1: enemy and start hearing it as the message. It actually
Speaker 1: is not a problem to be solved, but a teacher
Speaker 1: trying to show you where you've lost your way so
Speaker 1: you can find your way back home.