WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.279 --> 00:00:09.119 Welcome again the Horrible Cult Nation with a Shadows Secrets 2 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:13.400 U and the True Little Weapon showing us on cold 3 00:00:13.519 --> 00:00:17.800 conspiracy as we dive deep to the underbelly of the 4 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:23.280 unknown and challenge the narrative spinning around us. Buckles up 5 00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:31.120 because we're gearing up for a wild ride through the madness. 6 00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:37.000 Madam the unseen world. 7 00:00:37.719 --> 00:00:42.799 This is not just a podcast, it's all. 8 00:00:42.119 --> 00:00:43.719 If you, let's lease the chaos. 9 00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:10.319 Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Deplorable Nation. 10 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:14.760 I'm your host, Deplorable Janna, and today we have part 11 00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:20.640 five of our holistic mental health series and I'm super 12 00:01:20.680 --> 00:01:24.480 excited and stoked to get into this conversation today because 13 00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:27.680 ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be a banger. 14 00:01:27.799 --> 00:01:34.280 It is about triggers and communication strategies. So, without further ado, 15 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:36.760 welcome back mister John Linhart. 16 00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:40.560 How are you wonderful? Tanna? How are you doing fantastic? 17 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:46.439 Okay, So you gotta tell me first, because last time 18 00:01:46.480 --> 00:01:49.280 we spoke, you were going on your on your trip 19 00:01:50.599 --> 00:01:53.280 and you were going to be a doing a show 20 00:01:54.120 --> 00:01:55.680 as well while you were gone. 21 00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:57.400 So how did that go? 22 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:02.879 The show got canceled? 23 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:04.359 Oh that's awful. 24 00:02:04.879 --> 00:02:11.560 Yeah, So It was a fairly big podcast, all like 25 00:02:11.639 --> 00:02:16.560 half a million subscribers, and they canceled it it the 26 00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:19.639 last minute, literally within a week of when we had 27 00:02:19.639 --> 00:02:21.120 to go. I was gonna have to fly to New 28 00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:24.639 York City and that was all canceled. So it's really 29 00:02:25.039 --> 00:02:27.680 it's really thrown me. I was really ready for this. 30 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:30.960 I was. I went through all the stages of getting 31 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:34.520 ready for it and felt like I was. I knew 32 00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:37.039 what I was gonna say and was going to just 33 00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:39.800 have a great time. When he got canceled, I just 34 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:43.680 had to say, Okay, either this wasn't gonna go like 35 00:02:43.719 --> 00:02:47.479 I thought, or maybe it's just too soon to let 36 00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:50.479 people know about this, and there's a certain timing to all. 37 00:02:50.400 --> 00:02:53.680 This, So you know what I love. I love that 38 00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:58.120 you said that, though, because God has such a divine 39 00:02:58.439 --> 00:03:03.039 purpose right and guys for everything. And there are times 40 00:03:03.080 --> 00:03:05.879 where I was super excited about doing a show with 41 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:10.240 somebody and that it didn't happen, and then I got 42 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:13.680 the feeling that God was like, Nope, this is not 43 00:03:14.159 --> 00:03:16.840 like the right person, this is not the right show, 44 00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:19.680 this is not you know, whatever it is. I kept 45 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:23.000 getting that little nudge like, don't worry about this. 46 00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:24.800 Because this is not where you're meant to be. 47 00:03:25.759 --> 00:03:29.400 So I love that that sorry that that happened, but 48 00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:31.280 at the same time, that might have been a good 49 00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:36.680 thing because you never know, especially if you were flying 50 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:41.560 to go to New York, like, what could have transpired 51 00:03:41.639 --> 00:03:47.080 during that time. So I'm always thankful for the smallest 52 00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:50.759 things that he does to provide, you know, our safety 53 00:03:50.759 --> 00:03:55.080 and our peace of mind at all times. So let 54 00:03:55.159 --> 00:03:59.759 us jump in to triggers and communication because we were 55 00:03:59.800 --> 00:04:05.039 taught talking a little bit before the show, and trigger 56 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:08.400 is the buzzword of today right in the. 57 00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:10.479 World that we live in. 58 00:04:11.719 --> 00:04:21.319 But uh, triggers are so important for relationships, friendships, addiction 59 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:26.639 type issues, all of that stuff centered around triggers. So 60 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:29.480 let's jump in, my dear right. 61 00:04:29.560 --> 00:04:33.959 So, the key to understanding triggers is to understand a 62 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:37.399 part of the brain called the amygdala. And there's two 63 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:40.720 of them, so they're known as the migdala and there 64 00:04:40.759 --> 00:04:45.279 are two almond shaped structures. And if you're a Star 65 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:46.160 Wars fan. 66 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:52.079 Darth Vaders, depends how much Star Wars you're right. 67 00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:56.600 So the in the episodes one, two, three, Darth Vader's 68 00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:06.839 mom was, uh, I'm sorry, Darth Vader's wife was Princess Amidala, 69 00:05:07.319 --> 00:05:11.480 so that is really Princess Amgala. So so the Amigdala 70 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:16.600 is where we get that fight, flight or freeze. So 71 00:05:16.680 --> 00:05:18.519 what happens is or flop. 72 00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:19.519 That's a new one. 73 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:22.600 Flop m HM had heard that. 74 00:05:22.959 --> 00:05:29.839 Yeah, it's like where you're you're absolutely stuck in a 75 00:05:29.879 --> 00:05:34.319 state of like distress and your your body cannot get 76 00:05:34.360 --> 00:05:36.519 out of whatever. 77 00:05:36.639 --> 00:05:37.680 That's where a lot of. 78 00:05:39.639 --> 00:05:43.240 Like sleep paralysis and things like that come through the 79 00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:48.040 flop state because your body is so like excitative with 80 00:05:48.199 --> 00:05:51.959 the chemicals and the orphans and things that are released, 81 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:56.759 and it's also trying to release the reverse chemicals to 82 00:05:57.120 --> 00:05:59.920 stop things, but your body doesn't know what to do 83 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:02.519 and it stays in that state of panic. 84 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:05.839 Okay, yeah, that's a very okay, that makes sense. It's 85 00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:08.800 a very extreme version. When I went into the schools 86 00:06:08.839 --> 00:06:11.600 and taught this to the teachers, I used to talk 87 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:16.759 about freeze and freeze isn't a response. It's actually the 88 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:22.079 Amignola telling the person fight and take off, and you 89 00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:24.759 can't do both, so you freeze. And the reason that's 90 00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:29.120 important is I tell the teachers when the kid freezes, 91 00:06:29.639 --> 00:06:33.439 don't relax because one of those is going to win out. 92 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:38.040 So you know, they freeze, you turn around, and all 93 00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:40.800 of a sudden, the flight goes away, and then they 94 00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:43.279 throw a chair at you, and you're like, what just happened? Well, 95 00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:45.600 you turn your back when they kid and freeze, or 96 00:06:45.639 --> 00:06:48.399 you turn your back and the fight goes away and 97 00:06:48.439 --> 00:06:51.000 they're gone. You turn around to go where did they go? Right, 98 00:06:51.319 --> 00:06:54.040 and they took off. So just to realize that what's 99 00:06:54.079 --> 00:07:01.079 happening is when you experience something for the first time, 100 00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:06.839 your brain basically and it's traumatic. So we're back to trauma. 101 00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:09.360 If you experienced something for the first time, it's traumatic, 102 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:15.199 your brain takes everything that was associated with that moment 103 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:21.000 and files it away with this trauma experience and with 104 00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:23.759 a response, a fight or a flight response. 105 00:07:24.040 --> 00:07:28.160 So it's like a snapshot that's saved in a rolodex. 106 00:07:28.360 --> 00:07:32.560 Right for well for later, youse. And that's the issue. 107 00:07:33.160 --> 00:07:34.839 This is the issue because I think this is a 108 00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:39.240 lot more important. You know, you're a holistic health person, 109 00:07:39.319 --> 00:07:42.319 so this is this what we're talking about right now 110 00:07:42.360 --> 00:07:46.439 is I think really important for why we see so 111 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:51.759 much ADHD and so much problems with these kids in 112 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:54.439 school that we didn't see twenty thirty forty years ago. 113 00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:59.480 Because if you think about it, the key is to 114 00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:04.600 make sure a person's first experience with something is pleasant, 115 00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:10.399 because if it's not, every time they experience that thing, 116 00:08:10.519 --> 00:08:16.360 they relive the unpleasant experience. So, if you've ever seen 117 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:20.680 a modern family, Bill Dumphy's got the sphere of clowns. 118 00:08:21.639 --> 00:08:23.680 And when he explains it, he does one of these 119 00:08:23.720 --> 00:08:27.079 one shots and he says, I don't know why I'm 120 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:30.079 afraid of clowns. My mom said, I found a dead 121 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:31.800 clown in the forest when I was a little kid, 122 00:08:31.800 --> 00:08:35.399 but I don't remember that. It's like his first experience 123 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:38.159 with a clown, it was dead, traumatize him so much 124 00:08:38.200 --> 00:08:41.240 he doesn't even consciously remember it. But every time he 125 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:44.799 sees the clown, his memory pulls up the first experience 126 00:08:46.080 --> 00:08:46.919 and he feels it. 127 00:08:47.320 --> 00:08:53.039 I have that exact same experience, although not with clowns, 128 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:58.600 minus with snakes, but I do remember the first experience 129 00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:01.759 with it when I was growing up. I was probably 130 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:06.399 about six years old, and my parents had these friends 131 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:10.799 who lived on a lake, and so we went out 132 00:09:10.840 --> 00:09:13.600 to visit him, and you know, we're playing around in 133 00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:15.639 the grass and stuff and I was like, oh, I 134 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:17.879 have to go to the bathroom, and they're like, we 135 00:09:17.960 --> 00:09:22.159 have an outhouse over here. Didn't want us because we'd 136 00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:24.440 been swimming in the lake and stuff. Didn't want us 137 00:09:24.440 --> 00:09:28.200 to go in the house wet. And so I was 138 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:31.639 walking through the grass to get to the outhouse and 139 00:09:31.720 --> 00:09:36.879 there were literally snakes because it's sunny right and on 140 00:09:36.919 --> 00:09:40.399 a water bank, and so there were snakes in the 141 00:09:40.480 --> 00:09:44.879 grass all over. And I get into the outhouse, which 142 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:47.559 kind of reminded me of like a camp outhouse. I 143 00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:49.840 had showers and all of that stuff in it too, 144 00:09:50.919 --> 00:09:57.559 and there were snakes in the outhouse. I was absolutely mortified, terrified, 145 00:09:58.120 --> 00:10:01.919 screaming from my parents to come and get me. And 146 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:07.600 the response was, you got yourself there, you get yourself back. 147 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:13.360 And so to this day, I have a very unhealthy 148 00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:19.039 fear of snakes. But I'm getting better, by the grace 149 00:10:19.080 --> 00:10:22.639 of God, because we live out in the country. 150 00:10:23.480 --> 00:10:23.879 And so. 151 00:10:25.879 --> 00:10:30.440 The last summer, now it was the summer before. I 152 00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:34.879 love to sit outside, and I'm sitting outside and enjoying, 153 00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:38.360 you know, looking at the deer and stuff, and I 154 00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:41.080 hear this noise and I look down and there is 155 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:47.120 a snake. Shoot you under my chair, and you know 156 00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:53.399 what that brought up with all of those chemical responses, 157 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:58.000 and I froze and I'm like, oh my god, and 158 00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:01.240 my body's like, you're gonna die, absolutely going to die 159 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:06.159 because there's snakes here. It got stuck, its head got 160 00:11:06.200 --> 00:11:11.320 stuck under our garden hose, and it was like flopping 161 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:13.639 around because we were running the hose to the pool 162 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:17.759 and it was flopping around. And I kept hearing, God, go, 163 00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:20.720 you need to let that snake go, You need to 164 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:21.639 let that snake go. 165 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:25.639 And I'm like, nope, no, I don't not getting near it. 166 00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:30.240 And I kept hearing that repeatedly, over and over and over. 167 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:33.879 And I went over and I picked up the hose 168 00:11:33.960 --> 00:11:36.600 and let that snake go, and of course it shivers 169 00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:40.879 up and down my spine. But since then, like my 170 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:46.600 fear of snakes has lessened greatly, not completely gone yet. 171 00:11:46.919 --> 00:11:48.440 I'm still a work in progress. 172 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:53.879 But that is because my body registered that trauma when 173 00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:57.120 I was a young kid and filed that away to 174 00:11:57.240 --> 00:12:01.519 always feel like that is a dangerous thing. 175 00:12:02.440 --> 00:12:06.919 So the way I describe the amigalai are it's like 176 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:10.080 a person sitting in a room with no doors in 177 00:12:10.080 --> 00:12:13.919 the windows and They have a computer and they get 178 00:12:13.960 --> 00:12:18.440 fed information from the unconscious and the conscious. So everything 179 00:12:18.480 --> 00:12:22.600 when you walk around, your unconscious is seeing everything and 180 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:26.679 sending information to the amigalai, and it's like the imigali 181 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:30.120 is doing a search. So if the amigalai gets sent 182 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:36.639 you know it's April, it's warm, there's tall grass, you know, 183 00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:40.559 there's there's these things going on, it takes all those things, 184 00:12:40.720 --> 00:12:43.279 feeds it in and it says, have we ever experienced 185 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:47.080 anything that I say is an exclamation point? Right? And 186 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:49.600 if it's no, it takes four of those five, three 187 00:12:49.679 --> 00:12:51.840 of those five, two of those five. It charches everything 188 00:12:51.879 --> 00:12:55.399 because it's looking through your experience if you've ever seen 189 00:12:55.559 --> 00:12:59.399 something that you need to run or fight about, and 190 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:02.879 if nothing comes up, then it's fine. But if something 191 00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:07.759 comes up in your memory, it doesn't know reality. It 192 00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:11.720 just knows we've seen this before, and it starts kicking 193 00:13:11.720 --> 00:13:14.080 in adrenaline that starts doing all these things. One of 194 00:13:14.120 --> 00:13:16.799 the stories I tell is is this woman who worked 195 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:21.360 at a at one of these schools where they're you know, 196 00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:24.120 like a detention center type of thing. She's a fairly 197 00:13:24.159 --> 00:13:29.039 tall woman, blonde. She walks into the classroom and she's 198 00:13:29.080 --> 00:13:31.759 in charge first day and this kid from the back 199 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:34.960 road just starts jumping over the tables, try to come 200 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:39.360 and grab her strangler and they grab them and everything. Well, 201 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:44.759 that kid's mom is a fairly tall, blonde woman who's 202 00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:49.039 very in control. So his brain went blonde woman, tall, 203 00:13:49.399 --> 00:13:53.879 in control, she's hurty, I need to hurt her. Doesn't 204 00:13:53.879 --> 00:13:57.799 know that that's not his mom doesn't matter. It matches 205 00:13:57.879 --> 00:14:01.360 these things. So when you think about it, it's like 206 00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:05.320 what we ought to do is the first time anybody 207 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:09.080 experiences something, we ought to make it as pleasant as possible. 208 00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:12.759 So how many parents today are taking the time with 209 00:14:12.919 --> 00:14:16.679 their zero to four year old and making sure every 210 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:19.240 new first experience is positive? 211 00:14:19.559 --> 00:14:20.559 Right? They don't. 212 00:14:20.919 --> 00:14:24.440 And that's you know when you and I were babies, 213 00:14:24.440 --> 00:14:27.440 that's what our parents did for us. You know, they 214 00:14:27.799 --> 00:14:30.879 walked through and they talk gentle and everything. I see 215 00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:33.159 this all the time with kids and I'm like, you know, 216 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:36.360 this balloon falls down and this kid and it scares them, 217 00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:38.559 first time you've ever seen a balloon and the parents 218 00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:41.279 are laughing, and I'm like, kid's going to be afraid 219 00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:44.879 every time a balloon shows up. It's going to be afraid. 220 00:14:45.039 --> 00:14:46.919 So that's a lot of what we got going on. 221 00:14:47.039 --> 00:14:51.759 Because I like to talk about micro triggers. So as 222 00:14:51.799 --> 00:14:53.600 much as everybody knows about the triggers, you and I 223 00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:56.960 are talking about when you're having a conversation with somebody 224 00:14:58.039 --> 00:15:02.000 and during the conversation it's like that went away for 225 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:07.200 two sentences and you go, did you not hear me say? 226 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:10.200 They didn't hear certain parts of what you said. It's 227 00:15:10.279 --> 00:15:15.440 because there's certain things that trigger people for ten seconds, 228 00:15:15.480 --> 00:15:18.360 fifteen seconds, and then they come back they literally don't 229 00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:20.840 mean that. Because what a trigger does is is your 230 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:25.519 Miggalie is sending more information to your brain than it 231 00:15:25.559 --> 00:15:29.000 can handle, and it's sending that's electrically and it's sending 232 00:15:29.080 --> 00:15:33.679 chemicals that slowed down your brain. So this guy is 233 00:15:33.799 --> 00:15:37.080 trying to google a lot of stuff and you know, 234 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:39.320 he's sending a lot of information to brain. He's googling 235 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:42.080 sending it. So what's happening is is the brain's trying 236 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:45.639 to process a lot, but it's slowed down and the 237 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:48.759 Amiga I take it over. And that's what's really going on. 238 00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:51.600 A trigger is the person doesn't have access to their 239 00:15:51.639 --> 00:15:56.480 conscious brain and now they're running unconscious and if it's 240 00:15:56.519 --> 00:15:59.879 a fight or flight, you can't reach him. If you talked, 241 00:16:00.279 --> 00:16:02.000 you actually make the trigger worse. 242 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:05.519 Yeah, And that is so. 243 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:12.159 Like common in today's society because you know when when 244 00:16:12.200 --> 00:16:16.799 you have these traumatic experiences and they get filed away, 245 00:16:17.320 --> 00:16:22.799 you know, in that in that little rolodex, little things 246 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:25.159 like I have a good friend that was in a 247 00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:33.000 car accident and so out of the blue sometimes from nowhere, 248 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:37.279 like uh, standing at a crosswalk will freak her out, 249 00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:39.480 being in a parking lot will freak her out. 250 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:41.559 And that is so. 251 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:49.679 Typical of today's society and the people especially that suffer 252 00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:55.240 from anxiety, because anxiety always has a trigger too, and 253 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:58.639 it's a trigger response from something that we have stored 254 00:16:58.679 --> 00:17:02.120 away in the past that has happened to us that 255 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:09.200 we either consciously suppress or unconsciously or subconsciously don't remember. 256 00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:14.160 But it will cause these emotions to come up and 257 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:16.960 like people feeling like they're going to have a heart 258 00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:20.519 attack or something, and that's because of that fighter flight 259 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:22.720 response where they get stuck. 260 00:17:23.319 --> 00:17:26.559 So before we get to the more subtle version, you know, 261 00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:28.759 like you're talking about diction and stuff. Me, let me 262 00:17:28.839 --> 00:17:32.920 just kind of finish this trigger thing off because the 263 00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:37.319 thing is is it's also things associated. So she's not 264 00:17:37.359 --> 00:17:41.039 having a car crash, but she associates the crosswalk right 265 00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:43.160 with the car crash. In this book, the boyo has 266 00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:46.359 raised the dog and it's up here over here on 267 00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:51.359 my book, on my bookcase. Here he talks about this 268 00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:55.440 kid triggering when they brought her a glass of milk. Well, 269 00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:01.839 her mom got her throat slashed by her her husband, 270 00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:05.480 the kid's father, and when the kid found her mom, 271 00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:08.039 she was trying to drink milk and it was coming 272 00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:12.160 out her throat. So milk is going to cause it. 273 00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:15.640 So when you're so this called trauma informed care, you're 274 00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:18.200 you're real familiar with this. But the idea is, this 275 00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:22.319 is when you deal with someone, do you know the 276 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:26.039 trauma triggers this person uniquely. 277 00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:29.119 Has right And everybody's very different. 278 00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:32.559 Everybody's completely different, and they can be things like milk 279 00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:32.920 or a. 280 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:35.559 Crosswalk, sites sounds. 281 00:18:36.039 --> 00:18:42.599 Smells, yes, a lot of people have smell triggers, and 282 00:18:43.119 --> 00:18:47.200 it is like unusual stuff, but it can be something 283 00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:50.599 as simple as there was a candle burning, you know, 284 00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:54.960 when when somebody broke into your house or something like that. 285 00:18:55.079 --> 00:19:00.759 And so that's why to me, Like the modern day 286 00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:07.039 therapy system that we have set up, it's not equipped 287 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:11.440 to deal with patients on that level because they're not 288 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:16.079 looking for these small triggers. They're not looking for the sites, 289 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:22.440 the sounds, the smells, you know, and anything visually that 290 00:19:22.599 --> 00:19:25.640 was going on around the scene. It could have been 291 00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:31.319 you know, literally a person that they register as being 292 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:36.599 part of this bad experience or this trauma experience, like 293 00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:40.240 a visual person that they saw. And so any time 294 00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:45.160 they see a person that's relatably close to that memory, 295 00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:48.039 that triggers that response. 296 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:52.240 Right. So the danger with a trigger like this is 297 00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:57.160 that you temporarily lose control. You don't have control of 298 00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:00.440 your conscious brain. Right. The example, the best things example 299 00:20:00.920 --> 00:20:03.920 that I have to explain this is have you ever 300 00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:06.759 seen a Christmas Story with Ralphie? Oh? 301 00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:09.000 Yeah, I love Ralphie's. 302 00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:12.319 Watching Alfie's great. When Ralphie's walking home from school, he 303 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:15.400 gets hit by a snowball and we're going to talk 304 00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:21.759 about communication. The bully taunts him with communication triggers him 305 00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:25.000 and he describes it a fuse blue and I went 306 00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:30.119 out of my skull right ninety seconds he's out. It's 307 00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:32.880 a trigger? Is this I say zero to one hundred, 308 00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:35.200 you're normal. Then all of a sudden, you're one hundred 309 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:37.680 percent upset. You don't get any more or any less upset. 310 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:41.480 Ralphie's hitting him, and he never hit some harder or 311 00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:45.119 less hard. And about sixty seconds, if you watch that 312 00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:48.920 whole scene, at sixty seconds, he says, I suddenly became 313 00:20:49.079 --> 00:20:52.920 conscious of a steady torrent of swear words coming out 314 00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:55.160 of my mouth. So what's happening is is the brain 315 00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:58.000 is flooded with all this adrenaline. You are out of 316 00:20:58.039 --> 00:21:00.599 your skull. You're watching yourself do it because you're not 317 00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:06.119 in control. Around sixty seconds, you start absorbing the adrenaline 318 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:10.000 and you start becoming conscious, and he starts becoming conscious, 319 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:13.359 but he's still going. And then when his mom pulls 320 00:21:13.400 --> 00:21:18.079 him off, just say Ralphie, Ralphie the second time, and 321 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:22.640 now he becomes conscious and then he cries, which is 322 00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:26.359 proof he's in his conscious brain. So that whole thing 323 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:31.759 is accurate. It's about sixty seconds until he starts becoming conscious, 324 00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:34.559 and it's about ninety seconds when he's back. So what 325 00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:36.920 I say to teachers, and I would say this that 326 00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:40.680 anybody you know at home and everything when somebody's triggering, 327 00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:43.880 what the teachers will do is they'll start a stop watch. 328 00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:49.119 They'll make sure that the person triggering can't hurt themselves 329 00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:53.519 or other kids and other people, and they'll make sure 330 00:21:53.559 --> 00:21:56.480 everybody else gets away. And I actually have the teachers 331 00:21:56.519 --> 00:22:00.519 rehearse this where the kids learn, don't talk to them person, 332 00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:05.839 move away in the room, and don't interact if somebody 333 00:22:05.960 --> 00:22:10.160 says something to the kid, start to watch over because 334 00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:14.319 it's going to be ninety seconds from each triggering moment. 335 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:18.279 So what happens is you can't stay triggered for more 336 00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:23.160 than ninety seconds unless you get this outside. So some 337 00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:26.359 of these people try to get you to say something 338 00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:28.920 because they're high on the adrenaline. They want to stay triggered, 339 00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:34.079 and you just everybody just waits ninety seconds and then 340 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:37.039 you can start talking. But if you interact with them 341 00:22:37.079 --> 00:22:39.960 before that ninety seconds, you might as well start it 342 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:43.400 over again. So because everybody's like, when you start to trigger, 343 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:46.480 think of this thing that you're not thinking, right. So 344 00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:49.039 that's so you can't when I say to people, when 345 00:22:49.079 --> 00:22:52.240 you see someone triggering, it's a loss. Just count it 346 00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:54.319 as a loss. Anything you try to do is going 347 00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:57.279 to make it a worse loss, right, Keep everybody's safe. 348 00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:02.519 Take the loss. You fit triggers when you're feeling well, 349 00:23:02.599 --> 00:23:03.240 you do not. 350 00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:06.200 Extrigger fix them when you're in it, and that you. 351 00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:09.960 Love psychology advice out there saying try to stop it 352 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:11.640 in the moment, try to fix it in the moment. 353 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:16.759 Yeah, you should never do that because think about like 354 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:26.079 domestic abuse incidents. Right, So, say the woman has been abused, 355 00:23:26.119 --> 00:23:31.880 assaulted whatever before in her past, so she has those 356 00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:36.319 triggers you know that are that are filed away, and 357 00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:41.160 her spouse significant others says something that triggers her. 358 00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:42.880 She's in that. 359 00:23:43.720 --> 00:23:48.200 You know, emotional state, like all these things are flying around, 360 00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:50.279 chemicals and things like that. 361 00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:53.119 And then he's like. 362 00:23:53.240 --> 00:23:55.559 Why don't you want to talk to me? How come 363 00:23:55.599 --> 00:23:58.079 you're not talking to me? Every time you you just 364 00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:01.880 shut down, you don't speak, And and so he is 365 00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:08.119 making it worse because he's attacking her, and maybe she's 366 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:13.759 not ever been vulnerable enough to share like why certain 367 00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:17.799 situations or certain things that are said, or certain actions 368 00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:23.000 that he does sets off that emotional response or that 369 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:29.759 emotional trigger for her. So instead of having that communication 370 00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:32.519 you know where they where they know what's going on. 371 00:24:33.559 --> 00:24:39.039 He's thinking that she's like just not wanting to discuss things, 372 00:24:39.079 --> 00:24:41.200 and that's all you do is shut down. And so 373 00:24:41.319 --> 00:24:47.519 he's making it worse because he's compounding the assault that 374 00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:50.880 she has stored in her brain. So he is also 375 00:24:51.119 --> 00:24:56.720 assaulting her at the same time, which exponentially makes things 376 00:24:56.759 --> 00:25:00.000 worse because when she snaps out of it, he probably 377 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:00.640 better run. 378 00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:05.279 Right. Well, if she doesn't snap out of it, the 379 00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:08.480 thing is is that she could trigger. 380 00:25:08.279 --> 00:25:10.920 And hurt him right absolutely, then. 381 00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:14.359 Get his get her brain back, and then go what 382 00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:15.279 happened to him? 383 00:25:15.559 --> 00:25:15.720 Right? 384 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:19.000 And someone says you you you know, threw a knife 385 00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:22.960 at him? She could say, I don't remember that. I 386 00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:25.920 got in trouble with a with a couple of female 387 00:25:25.960 --> 00:25:31.839 teachers who help abused women. When I taught this, I said, 388 00:25:31.880 --> 00:25:36.680 there are guys that trigger do something and then they 389 00:25:36.680 --> 00:25:38.839 don't know they didn't know. Every guy knows he did it. 390 00:25:38.839 --> 00:25:40.799 I'm like, yeah, that's not true because. 391 00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:45.839 Right, because like we talked about on the last show, 392 00:25:46.599 --> 00:25:49.799 you know that the brain is like a chain link fence, 393 00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:54.279 and when a piece of that fence is cut or 394 00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:58.920 broken or damaged, the synapses don't fire, and so it 395 00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:01.519 doesn't go down the word line like it's supposed to. 396 00:26:01.799 --> 00:26:06.880 And so when you're having one of these episodes, you know, 397 00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:12.519 your brain is not processing any of the five senses, 398 00:26:12.920 --> 00:26:15.920 so it has no idea what is going on because 399 00:26:16.279 --> 00:26:22.519 it's so flooded with chemical reactions and responses that your 400 00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:27.759 synapses can't handle all of those reactions and responses, and 401 00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:33.920