Speaker 1: In the year two thousand and seven fourteen, a new
squad of operatives was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: Felsoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag.
Speaker 4: And Jesse Wicks as Bill Cuilance, Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 4: When last we left our heroes, they had arrived at
the Town of Curiosity, they met Elena, who ended up
being a necromancer. They also met Governor McAllister, who ended
up being a little suss and said he knew nothing
about Sharla's Tower. But Elena used her blood magic because
she said she's got tracers on the government or on
the governor, and she was able to determine that he
was lying, and he had something in a duffel bag
that would connect to Charloa's tower. She didn't know what
it was, she could just see the bag in her vision.
So they decided to leave Elena's having a truce with
the necromancer and made their way over to Governor McAllister's house,
where they are trying to fumble their way through a
house full of traps, and they finally made their way
down to the lounge area. They found a chair and
presumably Governor McAllister uh, sitting there watching the fireplace burn.
Speaker 2: Who do you have a chat? Governor?
Speaker 4: The governor does not move.
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna approach the chair, burning hands, all right, prepared,
burning hands, fantasmical killer she did.
Speaker 4: As you approach the chair, you see, well, it looks
to be a bald head sitting there, but that's you know,
you saw Governor McAllister already and he had hair, so
unless he shaved his head.
Speaker 1: And.
Speaker 2: Who are you you have the governor?
Speaker 4: All right? You continue to make your way up there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 4: So as you make your way up there, you start
to see what appears to be a long piece of
wire that is wound to a spot from the governor's
chair or well, not governor's chair, all the way up
to just above the fireplace. I will stop in my track, okay.
Speaker 2: All right, so this is another trap. I'm gonna try
to go around the side of the chair so I
can see, but like keeping some distance.
Speaker 4: Okay, So you keep a good amount of distance from it.
You know, step like right up to where the chair is,
all right, and you kind of strafe around it in
a circle. Yeah, all right. You see what looks to
be a mannequin set up in like night body armor.
So like the torso is body armor, and then it's
got like a skirt and stuff. But then there's like
just a mannequin head on top of the body armor,
sitting in the chair, and the piece of wire is
attached to the breastplate.
Speaker 2: All right, so don't let's don't move that mannequin or
mess with that wire. Hmm. Let's run into the fireplace,
to the top of the fireplace. So it's probably suspending
something that we don't want to fall in the fire.
Would be my.
Speaker 3: Guess, shrapnel probably, So why would he be wearing armor?
Speaker 2: Well, it's not a guy.
Speaker 5: It's a mannequin genderless, it's a decoy.
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna take a look around the room,
though no Duffel bags are there.
Speaker 4: There's no Duffel bag, Nope. But there are a couple
other things around the room. There's a nice bottle of
Merlow that's on a desk in the corner room. And
then there is what looks to be a password book.
Speaker 5: In a computer.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna grab the bottle and pull the cork and
give it a sniff.
Speaker 4: Okay, it smells good this way.
Speaker 2: It's put the cork back in and hold on to that,
and then I'm gonna, yeah, flip through.
Speaker 4: That password book just a little bit, okay, And.
Speaker 2: Does it's just a list of what appeared to be
passwords or does it say what they go to or anything.
Speaker 4: It's a list of what appears to be past codes.
There's a it looks like maybe a cipher could help
determine what the past coodes mean.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna hold on to it because that seems
like it could be useful.
Speaker 3: Is there anything around that looks like it takes a
code to activate.
Speaker 4: Or use or not in this room?
Speaker 5: Okay, let's look for a device.
Speaker 4: The kitchen is off this room. So you guys had
earlier stated you were going to.
Speaker 5: Yes, Yep, make a sandwich.
Speaker 4: Yep, make a sandwich. All right, So you go into
the kitchen. All right, this room for what it appears
is it looks trapped free. You don't see any wires
running across the floor.
Speaker 5: So you pulled the refrigerator door.
Speaker 6: The fridge is a mimic.
Speaker 5: It is now thanks.
Speaker 7: Genius modern day mimics or deep freezers.
Speaker 4: That's genius.
Speaker 2: Actually arcticumate arcticul mimick. Uh yeah, we'll write that fridge though,
definitely gonna make a sandwich. I got the wine, okay,
someone to look for some like roast beef.
Speaker 4: Now, so you open the fridge and this sociopath has
nothing in there except for cold oats and one half
easy pizza.
Speaker 5: He needs to go to the grocery store. That's where
he is.
Speaker 2: But he has taken a couple of slice but.
Speaker 7: It's not half eaten the way you think.
Speaker 6: He started with the crust.
Speaker 7: He only ate the crust, but like the crust on
the whole thing just it's just it's just.
Speaker 5: Really like spread.
Speaker 2: He separated each of the topping different piles.
Speaker 4: Hobbs is like, oh I remember this stuff. He reaches
and just grabs a handful eating it.
Speaker 6: I'm going to find like a dish towel or something
and clog the drains, turned the faucet on.
Speaker 2: Yep, yeap. Instead of a dish towel, tear a tapestry
off the wall, because that's the thing we do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, tear the tapestry down, clog the sink, and turn
the water on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is what you get, governor, for these traps.
Speaker 6: That's for knocking me off the second floor.
Speaker 4: All right, So he had at his house, But why.
Speaker 5: Is it booby trap though he didn't know we were coming.
Speaker 2: Someone was playing that fiddle. Someone was and they didn't
pass us on the stairs unless there was another stairway
at the other end of the hall. I don't even
look that way.
Speaker 5: Do not describe the layout. I won't get it.
Speaker 7: You know what, it was a fiddle. Them bitches loved
the roof.
Speaker 5: In the right spot.
Speaker 2: What's beyond the kitchen?
Speaker 4: Anything beyond the kitchen.
Speaker 2: There's a library, Yes, definitely, gonna have to speak in there, yes,
but carefully.
Speaker 3: Okay, his computer is going to be booby trapped. His computers,
whatever he's got, whatever's taking a pass code in the library.
Speaker 6: Book courage is just got an empty room with the
one PC on a table.
Speaker 4: Blowing that blue color. Okay, so you go into the library.
Speaker 6: Yep, all right.
Speaker 4: So the downstairs, like I sayd is lit up. The
library is as well. You can see a couple of
cardboard cutouts reeling back and forth in front of the windows,
giving the illusion of a party. And you do see
a nice mahogany desk in there, and then bookshelves lining
all the walls that don't have windows on them.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna take a look over the bookshelves before
we get to that desk, because I feel like if
anything's trapped in here, it's probably that desk. But you
take another couple of swigs of the WY and I'll
do itself. Any interesting books as far as like anything
relating to magic.
Speaker 4: Or make a roll, I would say if you're looking
for something specifically to magic, probably just an intelligence checked.
See if there's anything that rings a bell, it's.
Speaker 2: An eleven on the dice.
Speaker 4: Okay, Oh wow, all right, yeah, I will say you
do find a book of magic in there, out all
of the current evocre spells that are in the Dungeon
Guy or a Dungeon World book.
Speaker 2: Handy handy. I am going to take that, and then
I'm also going to, as I'm glancing through and take
this opportunity to replenish my bag of books. Okay, to
wipe some volumes that seem like they'll be useful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 6: Nice.
Speaker 4: What are the rest of you three doing While he's
doing that, I'm going.
Speaker 7: To go search that desk?
Speaker 4: Okay, so go ahead and make an intelligence role for
that as well.
Speaker 7: Six.
Speaker 4: All right, So you sit down at the desk and
they have it looks like a calendar that's that's like
just sitting on the desk that's like super colorful, and
every day has a new pun on there, and so
you just get lost looking for the code it's the
cipher or something in this calendar of punts. But it's
literally just a calendar of puns.
Speaker 6: You get distracted with the far side calendars.
Speaker 7: Sagizer, All right, well that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is what you're doing.
Speaker 2: Cow got.
Speaker 3: Just looking around see if anything catches my eye.
Speaker 4: All right, make a wisdom check No.
Speaker 5: Seven A seven.
Speaker 4: You don't necessarily find it, but you do notice that
there are some oddities in the bookshelves. Something doesn't look
natural about them at certain points.
Speaker 5: The shelves themselves. These books all suck, but the shelves
are weird.
Speaker 6: The shelves are weird.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look at them. They're not They're off somehow. Are
they like nutlining? Or they are like slight angles or
want like?
Speaker 4: So the books look like they're put in volumes, specific
volumes in most places. And then there's a few like
other random books here and there. But one shelf just
looks like the books are all too perfectly organized. It
looks cleaner than the rest of them.
Speaker 6: Wonder if there's a secret door.
Speaker 3: Looks like this one gets used more than the rest.
You guys know anything about these books?
Speaker 2: Or take a look at those books too?
Speaker 4: Need wisdom saves If you're looking through the book stuff bill.
The upun on today's calendar says, what's the best present
you can give someone? A broken drum? Nobody can beat that.
Speaker 5: Good one.
Speaker 4: I rolled the twelve, You roll the twelve?
Speaker 6: I got a twelve?
Speaker 4: But not natural Jesus all right, Well, you both, after
Adra points that out to you, you both look over
at the bookshelf, and uh, you can see where it
appears to slide across the top of the ceiling. They're
like little little carved carved marks across the ceiling. And uh,
and eddie, you find a.
Speaker 2: False book, hm, I might give it a pole, all right, you.
Speaker 4: Give it a pole, and the library bookshelf starts to
swing open, saying that.
Speaker 2: Saw, hey, Bill, anything good in that desk? Yeah?
Speaker 7: I did just learn that no matter how much you
push paper, it's still stationary.
Speaker 2: Good good to know.
Speaker 7: I think that can help. Did you drop a single die?
Speaker 5: I think so. That's why I said, there it is.
Speaker 2: I don't you know where it came from. Didn't even
move when that happened, spontaneously degenerate a die. It sounded
like a D four.
Speaker 7: Absolutely, there's one really upset that you've dropped enough die
that we can all just.
Speaker 3: It just hit a little tiny corner, that's why.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but they all have quarters.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but this one's a little more small.
Speaker 4: We all heard it nexter by the way it rolls.
Speaker 2: Do you find any kind of all right, do you
find any kind of cipher for this, uh, this password
book or whatever it is?
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's that's what I was looking for. I'm gonna
close the calendar. Three pages ripped out of it. I
just tuck into my pocket.
Speaker 2: One of them has an appointment written out of it.
Speaker 7: The cipher is on one of them, but I didn't
notice it.
Speaker 6: You just gotta pick sure of a snake with his
head flipped up underneath, and the capture says when snake's trip.
Speaker 7: When you go over there and you flip through it.
I drew a picture of a little man running across
the bottom. You said the site the cipher to open.
Speaker 2: The password book or whatever I phone down there.
Speaker 7: I even look at that. I can, I can try
and break it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we'll pass it over to him and yeah,
see if you can do anything with it. Well, he's
doing that, I'll i'll, I'll rummage through the desk.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you rummage through the desk. You see with
the door opening up that special staircase special bookcase. Uh small,
not small, I would say, but like a tight spiral
staircase that goes winds up toward the third floor.
Speaker 6: Okay, Well, I'll stand guard at the stairwell waiting for
them to finish up what they're doing, and then when
we get ready to head up, i'll take point.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's an eleven for remagion through the desk on
the five on the cipher A dice are real hot
and cold to night.
Speaker 6: They're still thinking puns.
Speaker 2: Two, two threes, twelve and two eleven.
Speaker 4: You find a cipher strapped up against the bottom of
the drawer that you one of the drawers that you
were looking at. You reach behind it and you could
feel something strapped there, and so you rip it down
and that's you pull a cipher a small book that
has just uh what the symbols on the uh on
the password book means? Bill? You have solved it. You've
absolutely solved this, this password book. And there's not a
doubt in your mind that the pass code is nothing else,
nothing other than the word apple.
Speaker 7: It's it's definitely apple. So how you get it is
that they're all palindromes, and then so you just spell
it backwards and you get apple.
Speaker 5: But are you sure because I found them a banana?
Speaker 2: I think because.
Speaker 7: Cipher? Yeah, you palindrome here apple.
Speaker 2: You keep using this word. I don't think. I think
it means what you think it means.
Speaker 6: Covable.
Speaker 7: Oh, now, ADDIE's the word guy, Huh.
Speaker 5: He's got all those books.
Speaker 7: They're all romance novels. He's never owned a book that
didn't have a main character by the name of Fabio.
Speaker 4: What if all of his wizard books were mut They're
all Harlequin.
Speaker 8: But all Chief Wizard Daniel Steele, they're all Chuck tingleff.
Speaker 7: A developed such a personality on accident.
Speaker 4: We as a group effort.
Speaker 9: Uh so, yeah, and passing flipped through the cipher, does
it seem like apple is correct?
Speaker 4: And most certainly not. No, okay, no, Actually the one
thing so it'll take you a little while to go through.
But what you've noticed about it is the cipher actually
gives you the ten of the characters seem to be
repeated a lot throughout this, and it shows you that
it's certain spots when those characters pull up, it gives you,
like what day of the month it is, and then
what day of the month it is, determines on what
password you need to give to be able to gain
entry to someplace you're not sure of what.
Speaker 2: All right, So I'm gonna stuff both of those in
my bag of books. Then I'm also going to grab
the desk calendar and stuff that in my bag of books,
just in case.
Speaker 4: You notice that on the cover of that calendar it
says I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it
was just a play on words, Carver.
Speaker 2: I'll read that.
Speaker 4: You stuff it to your bag, Yes, and all right.
Speaker 2: I think we should uh. I think we're ready to
head upstairs. It doesn't see much else in this room.
Speaker 6: I'll take point head upstairs.
Speaker 4: So you start moving up stairs. We're gonna need a
wisdom save from you on this one. Ten ten. Okay.
As you're walking, you see that there is a small
difference in color between one of the back kickplates of
one of the stairs that you're going up, and it's
not the same wooden color as the rest of the
stairwell that's you're climbing. And you get the feeling that
if you kicked that with your foot it might trigger something.
Speaker 6: That's all pointed out to everyone behind me. Watch that kickplate, guys,
you gonna do a trick.
Speaker 2: Just be careful.
Speaker 6: It's probably a trap.
Speaker 5: Have you learned nothing in this house?
Speaker 7: Absolutely not.
Speaker 2: Now you talking.
Speaker 6: Carefully? Step over that step.
Speaker 4: All right, so you carefully. I'll manage your way past it.
And you get up to the top of the you know,
the third story of the building, and you see a
door there that's closed.
Speaker 3: Oh god, you can't possibly get through a door.
Speaker 4: Raggs still that point, So.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I can shoot it from the back.
Speaker 6: So I'll look around the door. See if there's anything
that catches my eye. Any wires, any ropes, any cords,
any suspended paint cans.
Speaker 4: Yeah, go ahead and make a wisdom roll for yeah,
see if there's anything hidden.
Speaker 6: Eight eight.
Speaker 4: So yeah, you're pretty confident. You don't see anything. No
traps that are laid about the door.
Speaker 6: Test the door handle.
Speaker 4: It's hot, it's really hot.
Speaker 5: Ow, somebody slap me.
Speaker 7: Why don't you just grab the handle?
Speaker 6: This door handle is kind of warm.
Speaker 2: Heard.
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna walk up and open the door.
Speaker 4: All right, you're gonna take ooh max damage of four
points of damage.
Speaker 5: Well, now I'm pissed.
Speaker 4: Now you're pissed.
Speaker 6: Now you're flaming walk through the door.
Speaker 4: Our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there, it's
Nico again. If you'd like to skip the ads next time,
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dot com. And now that the commercials are out of
the way, it's time to dive back into the foolishness.
Speaker 2: All right. So you rage as you walk through.
Speaker 4: The door and you come up into this third story room.
It's a small bedroom, just like a little one bedroom
locked apartment up here on its own. And you see
a man standing there holding a crossbow in his hand
and he fires it right at Adira as she walks
through the door. And that is an eight. So I'm
gonna expend one of his five ammo, ammo for seven
more points of damage.
Speaker 7: Deer got with on fire and shot with a crossbow,
which is backwards.
Speaker 5: Kiss, I get to heal hit him back right.
Speaker 4: You get to pretty much charge in and do whatever
it's you guys turns now. So if you want to
charge in and go all out, go for it.
Speaker 6: I feel sorry for Kevin at this point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, whoever this motherfucker is is getting the crossbow.
Speaker 4: Uh no, it's a deer.
Speaker 2: Wait wait wait, wait, don't holp the duffle bag.
Speaker 5: I'm aiming right at him. If he's got the double bag,
that's too bad.
Speaker 4: You don't see him with a double bag. You see
him with two hands holding a heavy crossbow.
Speaker 3: All right, that was a nine to hit and nine
points of damage with that cross freight in the chest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it explodes going backwards across the room. He said,
nine points of damage, right, yes, Jesus, Okay, who's next that.
Speaker 2: He's not quite splattered?
Speaker 6: Not yet? Well, i'd be right behind Adira, So I'm
gonna charge into the room.
Speaker 4: Also all right, des weaseled mm hmm.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna go pounce on him, all.
Speaker 4: Right, see charge after him as he's flying back in the.
Speaker 6: Air, so like as soon as he hits the ground,
I'll be on top of him.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 6: Since he's already been hit. I don't want to kill him.
I want to go non lethal, okay, but I do
want to take him down.
Speaker 5: Yeah, get him in the chest. So he's feeling that.
Speaker 4: That's seven, all right, So that's a hit. If he
doesn't get knocked out, he'll be able to hit you back.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 4: Actually, he just hits you back. He's gonna fire the
crossbow as you tackle him.
Speaker 6: So he takes six from the tackle.
Speaker 4: That okay, So he fires the crossbow as you leap
on him, and so he is going to hit you
for four points damage knife eligible and uh and you
knock him out as you pounce on him, his head
smashes back against the ground and he just like yep,
lights out.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, disarm him and.
Speaker 6: Tie him up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Is there like a rope holding that that ties
the curtains or something like that?
Speaker 4: Ah? Yeah, there are some near the curtains.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm gonna grab those ropes and tie his hands together.
And two, I don't know, some a chair or something.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And while they're tying him up, I'm gonna see
if I can snip off the bag in the room
or in pot so you.
Speaker 4: Can find it.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 4: It looks yeah, uh, it looks like it's like leaned
up against a little dresser day he's got next to his.
Speaker 6: By the handles, and walk it over and drop it
down it Eddie's feet, all right.
Speaker 7: It's the closest to your socks ever to get to
being washed.
Speaker 2: It's just all right. I'm going to open up the
duffel bag.
Speaker 4: Okay, it spooby trapped.
Speaker 6: It's a duffle bag full of heads.
Speaker 5: That's what I did.
Speaker 4: I use napal so in the duffel bag. You find
ten enchanted security badges.
Speaker 5: To where anybody recognized this symbol on it.
Speaker 4: I guess you don't recognize the symbol. But Elena said
that there was a connection from whatever was in the
Duffel bag to Shalla's tower.
Speaker 6: I wonder if that gives us access to the tower.
Speaker 2: Without these are probably gonna get us in there, but
to make sure there's nothing more we need to know,
and I'm gonna go cast care wounds on him and
slap him around a little bit. Okay, that's the seven,
so I shall forget the smell.
Speaker 4: Okay you slapping like? Oh, we're going on? Why have
you broken into my house?
Speaker 2: I wan? Don't you answer the door? Governor? Most people do.
Speaker 4: I was playing the fiddle.
Speaker 6: Did you lie to us.
Speaker 2: A little strange? What's the real reason.
Speaker 4: You're all under arrest for breaking into my house?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 10: I believe you, but my gun don't keep the change
you have built the animals.
Speaker 2: I'll pull my gun out.
Speaker 4: You're gonna talk, mister, Okay, you're lion?
Speaker 6: No good?
Speaker 5: You cured his wounds, did you please?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Oh you have a you have a crossbowlt in your
chest too, That's cool.
Speaker 5: I'm on fire. I'm not feeling nothing right now, the wounds.
It's good. I've feeled myself, thank you.
Speaker 2: So we just found this duffel bag here that's full
of some interesting items. Why don't you give a little
explanation as to why they are in this duffel bag
in your possession?
Speaker 4: Fine, they are well. Sharlta's Tower is going to be
going through an inspection in the next couple of weeks
here a couple of guys named the Bobs. They're going
to be looking at the way that the facility operates
and maybe trying to, I don't know, make some changes
around there to increase productivity at Shallice Tower. So they
had us secure these badges in case to people at
Shallas Tower didn't want to really cooperate and we could
send in reinforcements.
Speaker 2: So when you when you told me an evoker earlier,
you didn't have access to the tower, right, led me
to believe that you couldn't help us get inside.
Speaker 4: That was what that was me protecting the interests of
the Bobs.
Speaker 2: See, but I'm an evoker. Their interests are my interests. Well,
it would.
Speaker 4: Seem I didn't get any directives saying that sent to me.
Speaker 2: That's fair. Well, I'll tell you what, Governor, we're taking
these badges, we're going in that tower.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't think I'm in a position to stop you.
Speaker 2: I would agree, So if.
Speaker 4: Anybody gets in trouble for you getting in there, I
have a good, valid excuse as to why.
Speaker 2: I'm Yeah, it seems like huh, let me un tie
them ropes Antia's ropes.
Speaker 4: Okay, Uh, now what.
Speaker 2: Now you're gonna walk us on out of your mansion.
Speaker 5: Here, house of death? What are you for.
Speaker 2: Go on in? Just put my hand in the middle
of his back and just give him a little push
towards the door. Okay, remember dere's still got that crossbow
on you.
Speaker 4: Do you want to use the secret passage or the
normal stairs.
Speaker 2: Whichever's easier.
Speaker 4: Uh? Well, the secret passage has a kick plate. If
we kick it, the whole floor bottoms.
Speaker 2: Out, so uh you know we can just slide down.
Speaker 4: No, it just collapses to the ground. All the wood
planks just fall apart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's avoid that then.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just don't kick it on the way down. But
it's faster, we can go.
Speaker 2: That way, all right.
Speaker 7: You almost got us with that flooding kitchen trap the flooding.
Speaker 2: That was a good one.
Speaker 4: Too bad you didn't eat any of the cold oats.
Speaker 7: If that's the cold oats are trapped, h why wouldn't
you make them something appetizing.
Speaker 4: I like cold oats.
Speaker 5: So you're gonna do rupy yourself?
Speaker 4: Well, I mean I don't. I mean, I just think
everyone likes cold oats. You don't like cold oats.
Speaker 7: No one's ever liked cold oats.
Speaker 4: It's literally one of the Evoker's most treasured foods.
Speaker 5: I don't even like colding oats.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the evokers love cold oats.
Speaker 6: Bill, come up, I would think they'd be all about
some toasted oats.
Speaker 7: I hate it.
Speaker 4: Here, Yeah, follow me, So he leads you down the stairs.
Watch the step.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you snap the bolt, chuck the shaft on the floor.
Speaker 2: Maybe help with you're out there.
Speaker 7: I'per with a what.
Speaker 5: I'm on fire, So keep your distance.
Speaker 7: I'll understand the problem. Keep crying again about nothing.
Speaker 4: Fourteen points, fourteen points.
Speaker 5: You're gonna hand me fourteen points, and I'm gonna poke
you with it.
Speaker 4: Don't don't touch the chair. If you get to the chair,
it spins and then napalm shoots out of the fireplace.
Speaker 2: I knew it.
Speaker 5: Where can I get some more of napalm bolts?
Speaker 3: By the way, I don't know where'd you get napalm?
Speaker 4: Well, I just got an accelerant. I don't know how
to turn that into bolts.
Speaker 7: Where'd you get your calendar?
Speaker 5: Well, let me just get the napal.
Speaker 4: Then did you take my calendar?
Speaker 7: You're not going to ask you questions here.
Speaker 5: You'll never know what day it is.
Speaker 6: You're gonna miss your appointment.
Speaker 4: I collected it from oh to someone that was conscripted
into the war.
Speaker 7: He robbed a soldier while he was at war.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, there's just a good chance he's not
coming back. And I mean even if he does come back,
it will probably more than a year from now. That
candle or that calendar is going to be completely obsolete
by then.
Speaker 7: Oh oh, really, you think the majesty of the puns
goes away?
Speaker 2: He's right, there's some good puns.
Speaker 6: Those are times.
Speaker 5: Hit him with a new one. So now I gotta
look one up.
Speaker 7: I have to go find I have it opened. Hello,
how does Moses make his tea?
Speaker 6: He bruise it.
Speaker 7: I'm sorry it was the first one. It wasn't if
you're looking for a good pun. I feel like we're
missing the point. All right, what do.
Speaker 5: You call afraid roup? No, never mind, that's not it.
This is I don't have the cound, don't have the calendar,
all right, I can't come up with one, see.
Speaker 2: You, guys.
Speaker 4: He leads you through the main area, through the foyer,
through the mudroom. He tells you about a trap in
the mudroom where the rug that's there has a breakaway door. Yeah,
it drops you down into the basement, which is puts
you into a prison cell essentially, And so don't step
on the rug.
Speaker 2: There's a new yet.
Speaker 4: And then he opens the front door and all right,
we'll have a good night.
Speaker 2: Why, Yeah, I just got one last thing to say
to you. Yeah, drop, I'm gonna pull that calendar out.
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? What out
of the way?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm going to miss that calendar.
Speaker 5: What do you say when the dearest wings reacts?
Speaker 4: Duck as it back outside?
Speaker 2: He right, Yeah, you have to hope on the battle.
You think you could uh calling up there.
Speaker 5: And get it.
Speaker 4: I'll go retrieve the rope, okay, and.
Speaker 5: He falls back down.
Speaker 4: Get the rope and bring it back down. All right, congratulations,
you survived, survived.
Speaker 2: The trappiest dungeon we've ever bet.
Speaker 4: Kevin mckeli's her house for better than Batman.
Speaker 2: All right, I think it's time to go to the tower. Yeah,
maybe the day is it.
Speaker 5: I don't know how many days have we been doing.
Speaker 4: This now, you guys are all it's the same day
that since you got here. You guys have been operating
at night pretty much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's maybe get some rest. Huh.
Speaker 7: We's probably steal some cards, uniforms, steal with these badges too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, about the uniforms. Let's go see Elena. She's
got an apartment or whatever.
Speaker 7: We have roots.
Speaker 5: We do have room at the Boiling Pot.
Speaker 4: I played for him and everything, all right, and efforts
the governor paid for.
Speaker 5: How does it feel to have your your efforts wasted?
Speaker 11: Bill?
Speaker 3: You know all that time I attack and I attack,
and I hack and I slash and tear these fuckers
the bits, and then you go and heal them.
Speaker 7: I don't heal them. You missed, I don't miss It's
not my fault that you can't hit the broad side
of a bar.
Speaker 5: Oh bullshit. And I sink a bolt into his chest.
Speaker 2: Magic.
Speaker 5: That'll be Blame it on a wild magic event.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: Shot him point the wild magic.
Speaker 5: It just went off.
Speaker 7: Next time Maddie turns you invisible, I'm throwing glitter around you.
It's rude.
Speaker 5: That's going to be there for.
Speaker 4: So is that what you guys want to do? You
want to go get some rest?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a drink.
Speaker 7: Yeah, about the things we just robbed the We just
robbed the governor of it out. It's probably five.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that you did.
Speaker 7: I'm sure there will be no repercussions.
Speaker 5: He's tied up to a chair. Nobody even knows.
Speaker 7: Never mind, we just got the weakest of agreements from
him and then left.
Speaker 4: Yep, he seems very trusted, all right. So you guys
have ten of those security badges you have, uh, you
gave back the ones so those are gone. But yeah,
and then you've got the password book with the cipher
to figure out what day it is. And you guys
crashed for the night and you wake up in the morning,
and they said that there would be breakfast, because you
guys already know what the breakfast is.
Speaker 6: Cold oats, cold oats and scramby eggs cold oats and
scramby eggs.
Speaker 3: And breakfast pizza.
Speaker 7: With times like this, I really regret how I treated
one lady.
Speaker 5: You just left your hanging man like this.
Speaker 6: I enjoy the fact that I don't need to eat. Yeah, hey, ooh.
Speaker 7: Rag, yes, can you turn into something that lays eggs?
Speaker 6: We had this discussion before.
Speaker 5: We've tried birds.
Speaker 3: The times is hard be a platypus, don't they.
Speaker 5: Yes, platypus do it.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna go platypus Jesus.
Speaker 4: But as he sed it, that's twelve at twelve on
the dice. Yep, twelve, I roll again, twelve get oh
still though, yeah so twelve. So yeah, you turned into
the most immaculate, beautiful platypus with we're missing in here
and quiz no lips on the end of the duck.
Speaker 2: There's something you don't see every day.
Speaker 7: Milk and eggs.
Speaker 4: Milk, and now you can get half the ingredients that
you need to make a cake.
Speaker 2: All of them for an omelet.
Speaker 6: Yeah, platypus can can milk and yeah, yeah, not going
to and swim milking ragged into the cold.
Speaker 4: Left the you're a bully platypus.
Speaker 5: Of course you're a bully.
Speaker 6: No, that's not an utter.
Speaker 5: Wait, why are we why do we need eggs? Is
that the eggs we're eating today?
Speaker 7: The called oats were a problem, so we needed eggs.
That they need eggs.
Speaker 6: But that's you get one egg, but you owe me.
Speaker 5: It's a big egg. It rocks, not little, so we're good.
Speaker 6: It's like a three pounds.
Speaker 3: It's like an ostrich egg, like you know, twelve eggs
in one.
Speaker 11: It's not fertilized, right, no, yikes, all right, all right, it.
Speaker 5: Rock changes into a platypus and feeds us breakfast.
Speaker 4: That's the best way to put that.
Speaker 7: Every every naming option from this episode is coming from
the first five minutes certainly.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you guys got your breakfast. You got, yeah,
your first breakfast. You're awake, you're rested. Everybody's spells reset,
everybody's goofiness is good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, I'm going for utility with my spells today.
Speaker 7: I'm not gonna best best into anything because I'm already
dressed like a guard.
Speaker 5: Perfect.
Speaker 7: I'm just gonna put my little deputy badge on.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: How about you best best to a guard and I
take that uniform.
Speaker 7: I am this is my best best and it is
a guard.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: He best vested it to look like Loki.
Speaker 2: That's right. Well, then we should figure out guard you forms, right,
or maybe not. We're supposed to be, like, you know,
helping the consultants. Maybe we're not guards. I don't think
we need uniforms.
Speaker 7: It feels like we're planning way before we need to be.
Speaker 6: I'm just rolling around as a large marsupial.
Speaker 7: Well, usually we just don't plan at all, That's what
I'm saying. We're talking about this before we're knocking on
the door, and that doesn't work for me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're right, save that for later. We'll solve that problem.
Speaker 7: I'm not creative unless it's an emergency.
Speaker 6: Let's go.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 4: Thank you. Guys made a deal for hot pockets too already,
so yes, you could be worth of rations.
Speaker 7: We're all cold oat pop pockets.
Speaker 3: That was before No, that was before we even knew
about the cold oat.
Speaker 5: We got those from Elena.
Speaker 3: Before she did her blood magic.
Speaker 5: Some no cold oats, all right.
Speaker 4: So you guys want to head east and go towards
Challis Tower.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the direction it is. Let's go west, all right, So.
Speaker 4: No wild magic for this. But we are doing a
perilous journey because as you travel, you learn that the
shadow scar which is the giant scarred area of land
that like rips a rift into the ground, is expanding
at times it's like shuddering and getting bigger. And these
creatures keep coming out at different random intervals. So we're
doing a perilous journey. And so you all have roles
to play, except for Bill, who has to roll a
D twenty to see if there is a wild magic event.
Speaker 7: No, no, no, much too perilous, just a little peril
I'm in pitcapo hearing the word barrel without thinking of it.
Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, how we had ten days worth of
the top pocket. Well, the second roll was a ten.
Speaker 3: So and I'm eight.
Speaker 4: It was the first roll of two because.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 3: Oh man, Trailblazer got eight, So it takes us the
appropriate amount of time.
Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, so eight eleven from the scout.
Speaker 4: Okay, so scout. That will be good because you'll be
able to see the creatures before they come out. Yeah,
three from them, so no wild magic event happens. Bill
got Oh no, you guys all got one cart, right,
because Bill's cart the two carts. Thing is back on
the other side of the country. So you all get
into the one cart packing some stuff up. Eddie's doing
the last minute of packing. He double checks all the food,
sets it on top of the wagon, and then you
guys drive off and the food falls off the top
of the wagon and you leave your hot pockets behind.
Speaker 6: Just as he had the dusty a proof.
Speaker 2: You guys saw me carry him out to the cart.
Speaker 6: You know what.
Speaker 7: Ragged them all?
Speaker 2: M hey Yeah, speaking with cats, you guys are they're
supposed to be great ky hobbs.
Speaker 7: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: You you got hunting?
Speaker 4: Yeah, with my crossbow.
Speaker 5: You're a cat. You don't need a crossbow. Nice try.
Speaker 4: I can try and hunt with just a dagger. It's
gonna be way more difficult. Turn him invisible, Okay, turned invisible?
Speaker 2: All right, that's that's eleven.
Speaker 4: That is a nine. So we'll say that he does
get something, but it takes him several hours. So well,
you guys stopped to set up camp. You turn him invisible.
He disappears on into the that woods around and he
ends up bringing back a pig. By the time, you
guys like a wild boarders like something.
Speaker 6: Farmer Browns it's like a pig pet pot belly.
Speaker 4: And he brings that back to you just before dusk.
Speaker 2: All right, good, good kitty.
Speaker 5: Did you happen to see what farm you got it from?
Those are the McDonald's by any chance? He's like, no,
I caught this in the while.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that we're we're city folk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, not a problem. Yeah, I'll clean it and you
can get start cooking.
Speaker 2: Sounds good. I can cook a pig probably, okay, burning hands.
Speaker 4: All right, So you guys, are you doing any kind
of watches through the night? What are you doing to
set this up?
Speaker 5: Hobbs is there watching because he's got night vision.
Speaker 4: So does Bill technically, yeah, yeah should probably.
Speaker 6: Bill is also technically a flair for in the area.
Speaker 4: So, yeah, we are here.
Speaker 2: Let's let's set a rotating watch. We'll just take a
shift so it'll be well.
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't need to eat or sleep. I
can stay up all night and oh yeah, I forget you.
Speaker 2: Can do that, all right?
Speaker 4: Well, will you guys take a nap for a good
night's rest. We're going to take a short break. Ohay.
Speaker 12: This concludes this episode of a fools Quest, and join
us next time for more fun and during adventure. Thank
you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
and comment on your favorite platform to listen to a
fools Quest
Speaker 2: On one