WEBVTT 1 00:00:04.960 --> 00:00:07.559 There's a rhythm to small towns like ours. It's in 2 00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:09.480 the morning rush of three, as a rush of bakery 3 00:00:09.519 --> 00:00:11.720 goes on River Street, the bells that still ring at 4 00:00:11.720 --> 00:00:14.279 Saint Agnes like it matters whichever it is, and the 5 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:16.640 sound of water flattening past the old supports under the 6 00:00:16.719 --> 00:00:20.039 railway bridge. I should know these rhythms better than anyone, 7 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:22.640 living forty nine years as an engineer, most of them, 8 00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:24.199 with the rails in my bones, and the rout from 9 00:00:24.199 --> 00:00:27.160 east to west as familiar as breathing. That's why, on 10 00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:29.320 a clear Thursday in late May, when I turned down 11 00:00:29.320 --> 00:00:31.039 toward the river for my usual walk and saw the 12 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:34.640 bridge sitting just so, something didn't fit. At first. It 13 00:00:34.679 --> 00:00:36.600 was the axis rowed a slant that almost missed the 14 00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:39.079 bridge entirely narrowed and patched. Where I could have sworn 15 00:00:39.079 --> 00:00:42.280 the shoulder ought to be wider. It seemed to slight sideways, 16 00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:44.640 like a line drawn too hastily on a shaky page. 17 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:47.640 The bridge's gadows glinted at an angle I'd never recalled 18 00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:50.439 seeing before, sunlight flaring against the late morning haze and 19 00:00:50.520 --> 00:00:52.640 leaving the rails slightly askew as they could across the 20 00:00:52.679 --> 00:00:55.240 current It wasn't the sort of change you point at 21 00:00:55.240 --> 00:00:58.359 and say that's wrong. The bridge's stone fittings were still 22 00:00:58.439 --> 00:01:00.960 rough with moss, and the northern bankman's patch of wild 23 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:04.239 asters remained. Yet the sloping path where I'd let my 24 00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:06.640 daughter teeter down on her scooter as a girl, slidered 25 00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:10.239 a bit sharper, bending away it once didn't the old platform. 26 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:12.439 A few concrete slabs dappled, and some light peaked from 27 00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:16.480 farther left than expected, half swallowed by the brambles. Somehow 28 00:01:16.519 --> 00:01:19.280 the view made me hesitate midstep. I felt, for a 29 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:21.640 moment as if I'd taken the wrong fork altogether, except 30 00:01:21.719 --> 00:01:24.400 everything else. The sloping bank, the white painted benches on 31 00:01:24.439 --> 00:01:26.400 the south side, the river side map in its wooden 32 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.480 frame remained as rooted as always. Had someone were outed 33 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:32.200 the path. Did a late spring flood knock things out 34 00:01:32.200 --> 00:01:35.159 of line? My mind ran through the catalog of causes, 35 00:01:35.799 --> 00:01:37.599 or may be, as Pete like to joke, Joe, your 36 00:01:37.640 --> 00:01:40.560 memories just shuffing the deck. I've trusted my eyes and 37 00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:43.599 mine for decades. A rail engineer's lot is to trust 38 00:01:43.599 --> 00:01:45.840 a sense of the world. A thousand little details can 39 00:01:45.879 --> 00:01:48.079 mean the difference between a routine run and a disaster 40 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:51.519 along this stretch. I knew every mile post, every dip, 41 00:01:51.599 --> 00:01:55.000 every peculiar whistles echo across the water. I took another step, 42 00:01:55.120 --> 00:01:56.959 craning my head so the rails cut the angle I 43 00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:00.480 remembered best, late afternoon sun slanting so high quint to 44 00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:03.640 see the signals. The rails no longer pointed as directly 45 00:02:03.680 --> 00:02:05.799 toward the old grain elevator's roof as they used to, 46 00:02:05.959 --> 00:02:08.319 but rather toward the muddy lot just behind the bakery. 47 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:11.719 Could they have shifted the tracks? I tried to picture 48 00:02:11.719 --> 00:02:14.599 teenage me, perched from the river bank, sketching train routes 49 00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:17.639 while the local boys drew stones upstream. In each memory, 50 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:20.240 the bridge loomed straight over the water, its approaches direct 51 00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:23.599 as a handjache. I circled around, slipping on the grassy 52 00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:26.000 bank where the wild fowes tangled, heart ticking quietly, not 53 00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:28.120 out of fear, but a rising curiosity that left my 54 00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:30.879 thoughts running like water from a bowst pipe. Was it me? 55 00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:34.120 Was it the river? Was the bridge rebuilt in some sly, 56 00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:36.680 silent way, and the whole town forgot to mention it? 57 00:02:37.319 --> 00:02:39.639 This was no ghosts story. The birds called overhead, the 58 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:41.960 river hummed, and a pair of kids bounced to soccer 59 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:45.199 bowl along the old causeway. But that sense of misalignment, 60 00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:47.800 as if a familiar face had shifted, burrowed under my skin. 61 00:02:48.360 --> 00:02:50.599 By the end of my walk, the question jangled in 62 00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:53.000 my mind. Had I misremembered the bridge all these years? 63 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:55.400 Or had the world beneath my feet quietly glossed over 64 00:02:55.439 --> 00:02:58.120 a change no one else seen to mark. I passed 65 00:02:58.120 --> 00:03:00.560 home and stood a moment longer by my living room window. 66 00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:03.520 From this angle, the bridge was caught by trees, just 67 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:06.080 a sliver of gray steel hugging the near bank. I 68 00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:08.719 suddenly found myself replaying old scenes in my mind's eye, 69 00:03:08.759 --> 00:03:11.800 childed by cries, nervous first runs on these rails, the 70 00:03:11.879 --> 00:03:13.599 rum of the engine as we crossed a bridge late 71 00:03:13.599 --> 00:03:15.759 at night, long after the town's lights had drinked out. 72 00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:18.800 Each recollection centered a bridge not just as a thing, 73 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:21.680 but as the fixed axis of a life. Now it 74 00:03:21.719 --> 00:03:24.479 had slept somehow, and I needed to know was I 75 00:03:24.520 --> 00:03:28.319 alone in seeing it? Asterisk. If you want to understand 76 00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:31.039 our town, ye start with the river. It splits aw 77 00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:33.520 whirl cleanly on the north, The rocky slope of houses 78 00:03:33.560 --> 00:03:36.479 stack like checker pieces on the south a run of shops, 79 00:03:36.639 --> 00:03:39.159 the library, and the green wedge that calls itself a park. 80 00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:43.039 The bridge single track, steel and stone stitches, both halves together. 81 00:03:43.719 --> 00:03:47.159 Children race each other to school across its spine. Deliveries 82 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:50.400 roll over at dawn. Frosty mornings set the rails echoing 83 00:03:50.439 --> 00:03:52.759 with the sharp palm, and every so often along slow 84 00:03:52.800 --> 00:03:55.000 trained rattles through, as if to remind us were still 85 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:57.879 a wapront in the world. We're small, but we orbit 86 00:03:57.919 --> 00:04:00.719 that bridge. The bakery on Burk Street makes a cinnamon 87 00:04:00.759 --> 00:04:03.639 loaf you can smell half way down Riverview Market. Days 88 00:04:03.639 --> 00:04:06.919 send lines of chatter across the south bank, the nose cut, 89 00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.000 the playground little more than a weather beaten slide, and 90 00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:11.120 two swains, but every child comes home with sand in 91 00:04:11.159 --> 00:04:14.960 their socks. The station falling further into quiet faces, the 92 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:18.759 water through scallop windows thick with dust helen minds. The library, 93 00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:21.199 now tidy, is a sewing basket, always with a cup 94 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:24.639 of lemon tea steaming the by Pete, retired station master, 95 00:04:24.839 --> 00:04:27.319 rides his bicycle on the flat after idis has slowed him. 96 00:04:27.319 --> 00:04:28.839 But you'll talk your you're off about the days when 97 00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:32.000 postal cars still grumbled over the bridge. Miss s Avery 98 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:33.800 at the post office has run her counter since my 99 00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:36.360 beard was dark, and she knows everyone's business better than 100 00:04:36.360 --> 00:04:39.480 they know it themselves. As for me, A keeper routine, 101 00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:42.879 any one in tank of recite backwards up before sunrise, 102 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:45.000 a slow walk to greet the river. Coffee in the 103 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:48.319 square among Whitehead regulars, a straw past the shops afternion 104 00:04:48.360 --> 00:04:51.000 spent reading train logs, or idling with old models at home. 105 00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:54.560 Some habits are muscle deep. I still walk the tracks, 106 00:04:54.680 --> 00:04:57.759 eyes lingering on each tight and ball, unthinkingly scanning for faults, 107 00:04:57.800 --> 00:05:00.680 as if one more inspection might change the past. When 108 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:03.120 people talk about change here, they mention the obvious things, 109 00:05:03.160 --> 00:05:05.000 a fresh coat of paint on the bakery sign and 110 00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:07.199 news out of swings in the playground, when to floods, 111 00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:09.360 swell in the river, even an occasional painting of the 112 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:12.879 bridges girders. But no one talks about the bridge itself moving, 113 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:15.399 not being rebuilt or realigned to just the slow, gentle 114 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:19.800 maintenance that's always going on. Our stories gather around accidents holidays. 115 00:05:19.839 --> 00:05:21.800 The year the river flooded high enough to lap the 116 00:05:21.839 --> 00:05:24.480 first step of the south bank stairs. The bridge is 117 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:27.480 the unspoken constant, the eyepiece at the center of every tale. 118 00:05:27.920 --> 00:05:30.079 That's why I found myself later that same Thursday, of 119 00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:32.759 rifling through photo albums on the shelf, fingers smunching old 120 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.600 black and whites, avengined cabs, the river backlet, and always 121 00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:37.360 the bridge. Looking out from the corners of the frame, 122 00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:41.319 I trace my Thamalan in nineteen seventy to reprint rails, 123 00:05:41.319 --> 00:05:44.480 pointing true as a short arrow grain elevator proudly upright behind. 124 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:47.480 In to day's morning light, the elevator would be nearly 125 00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:50.800 hidden by that recut embankment. More photos a town parade 126 00:05:50.839 --> 00:05:53.399 one summer, a children's race. The bridge are back drop again. 127 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:56.120 In each shot, the approach seems to lean differently, a 128 00:05:56.199 --> 00:05:59.360 lamp post standing just bright in one, mysteriously missing in another. 129 00:06:00.040 --> 00:06:02.560 The buildings that framed the bridge's southern end shuffle. Here 130 00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:05.279 a garden wall, through fenced to coffeeyard, elsewhere nothing but 131 00:06:05.319 --> 00:06:09.480 open grass. There's a home spun logic to old photos, angles, perspectives, 132 00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:12.199 the whims of amateur photographers, but looking from print to window, 133 00:06:12.319 --> 00:06:14.199 none of them felt like the bridge of this morning. 134 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:16.879 I went so far as to thumb through my steamer trunk, 135 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:20.360 searching for roll blueprints I'd made coppers of the nineteen 136 00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:23.360 twenty two track alignment, gifts from retirement ceremonies and week 137 00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:26.399 ends when I fancied myself a historian. And for all 138 00:06:26.519 --> 00:06:28.759 they showed a clean street shot across the water rails, 139 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:32.160 road platform, everything in its place, nowah did to day's 140 00:06:32.199 --> 00:06:35.279 crooked approach or the sidelong glint of steel appear. The 141 00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:37.879 tightness in my chest was not fear. It was a 142 00:06:37.959 --> 00:06:40.079 kind of keening mental age. I need to sort puzzle 143 00:06:40.120 --> 00:06:42.639 pieces that once seen perfectly flushed, but now up close 144 00:06:42.759 --> 00:06:45.759 did not click together. My mind spun back to coffee 145 00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:48.040 mornings at the Square, to arguments about when the post 146 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:50.399 office roof got repainted, or whether popular by the river 147 00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:53.680 used to cast shade. We argued over small things, snowfall, 148 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:56.120 lost pets, the final game of the season, but never 149 00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:59.079 not once about the very ground beneath our feet. Slipping sideways, 150 00:07:00.040 --> 00:07:01.800 ress my nose to the window and tried to measure 151 00:07:01.879 --> 00:07:05.800 in mine the distances between rail bridge, road and water. 152 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:08.720 Whatever had changed, or whatever was trying to hide itself, 153 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:11.720 fitched at the corner of sight, refusing politely to resolve. 154 00:07:12.360 --> 00:07:14.120 This was no simple matter of new paint or a 155 00:07:14.120 --> 00:07:17.040 shifted sign. It felt like the world had neatly folded 156 00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:19.480 the bridge into another seam, and only I had failed 157 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:23.000 to update my memory asterisk. If you want a straight 158 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:26.040 answer in town, you ask Pete. That's what I did 159 00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:28.399 the next morning, sitting opposite him in the modest brawl 160 00:07:28.399 --> 00:07:31.040 of Klara's Cafe, A pair of cinnamon rolls and two 161 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:34.240 mounts of scalding coffee stood like referees flags between us. 162 00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:37.279 Pete was always sharp, his sense for the rails unblunted, 163 00:07:37.319 --> 00:07:41.240 though he hadn't punched a ticket in years. Pete, I said, voice, low, 164 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:43.720 you ever noticed the bridge lining up different these days? 165 00:07:44.360 --> 00:07:47.519 His face crinkled the green iron one reckon, it's where 166 00:07:47.519 --> 00:07:51.639 it's always been. You worrying about your eyes again? I grinned, No, 167 00:07:51.879 --> 00:07:54.279 not the eyes this time. The STI approach road feels 168 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.680 like its silance sharper now misses the old gravel pull off. 169 00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.000 Didn't entrance once come up straight from the baker's shed. 170 00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:02.879 Pet his mouth, thinking, now, hang on, but always curve, 171 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:04.879 didn't It? Maybe a bit less, but that's how they 172 00:08:04.920 --> 00:08:07.439 build it. Joe surverors knew what they were doing. He 173 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:11.040 plucked at his sleeve, brow furrowing. His memory worked. Though 174 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:13.560 I'll be honest, sometimes I wonder if the footpath did 175 00:08:13.639 --> 00:08:16.680 more before or less. Hard to say, maybe the benches shifted. 176 00:08:17.199 --> 00:08:19.720 He seemed about to laugh at himself, but stopped in. 177 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:21.680 You got all them old logs and mats at home, 178 00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:24.720 double checked there. If your head's plain tricks, I have 179 00:08:24.920 --> 00:08:28.000 to pushing my coffee away, I did. The maps don't 180 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:32.240 match each other, let alone what's outside photographs too. Beech shrugged, gazed, 181 00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:35.639 wondering to the misted street outside the joe. Everything's painted 182 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:38.480 and patched so many times folks forget what's original except 183 00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:41.559 a bridge. That's where it is, Old friend, he chuckle, 184 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:43.840 as if the whole town's certainty was a defense against 185 00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:46.879 my little riddle. But as I paid and left, something 186 00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:49.240 lingered in pete hesitation the way he started to recall 187 00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:51.480 and stopped, as if skirting the edge of a memory 188 00:08:51.480 --> 00:08:54.919 too slippery to grasp. I stopped by the post office next, 189 00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:58.120 queuing behind two chatty women's wapping casserole recipes and worries 190 00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:01.120 about garden pests. And it was my turn, Miss says 191 00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:03.360 Avery greeted me with her usual practice warmth and a 192 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:06.960 tilt of the head. Missus avoury forgiven old man's rumbling. 193 00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:08.759 But do you recall if that bench by the bridge 194 00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:11.960 entrance north side was nearer the river last year? I asked, 195 00:09:12.279 --> 00:09:15.960 careful to sound of hand. She tapped her tin bench. 196 00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:18.480 I remember one loop painted sat there for years, then 197 00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:21.840 again Clarence took it away. What last spring? But perhaps 198 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:23.639 it was by the south steps A bit to no, no, 199 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:27.200 not steps, that's right, I dress parcels there so yes, 200 00:09:27.519 --> 00:09:29.720 just there between the platform and there's white hat ranges. 201 00:09:30.279 --> 00:09:32.120 Her fingers drew a map in air. I couldn't follow. 202 00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:35.320 Funny though I drove past just yesterday and didn't see 203 00:09:35.360 --> 00:09:39.600 it at all. She's quinted. Maybe I misremember, or maybe 204 00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:42.320 things are always moving about more than we think. On 205 00:09:42.440 --> 00:09:45.600 my way out, I paused by the community noticeboard. Pin 206 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:49.120 Beside lost dog posters and Sunday Market reminders were two maps, 207 00:09:49.440 --> 00:09:52.639 one hand labeled tourist map, another skull child's crayon attempt 208 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:55.919 at our riverside. To my surprise, both rendered the approaches 209 00:09:55.919 --> 00:09:57.919 to the bridge differently. One is a straight road, the 210 00:09:57.960 --> 00:09:59.799 other with a pronounced bend and a round about the 211 00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:03.559 wasn't exist in real life. Curiosity solidified as a hard 212 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:06.440 pabble in my gut. For a lock, I tumbled a 213 00:10:06.440 --> 00:10:08.480 long way across to the north bank, cleaning up to 214 00:10:08.519 --> 00:10:11.320 the old platform. There I stopped steady by the tang 215 00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:13.759 of blooming grass and severed. The town spread before me. 216 00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:16.360 The incline up from the river twisted shop with an 217 00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:19.080 expected The path's meeting point with Maple Street shifted closer 218 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:22.039 to the churchyard. A couple of boys played catch where 219 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:24.320 I remember the utility shade once stood or shed that, 220 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:27.919 as far as I now saw, had never existed. Yet 221 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:30.840 no one glanced twice. The world flowed uninterrupted, indifferent to 222 00:10:30.879 --> 00:10:34.200 these minute alignments. On my walk back, I passed Helen 223 00:10:34.240 --> 00:10:36.480 coming out of the library, two bags of returned books 224 00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:40.320 slung over her shoulder. She smiled and waved as she 225 00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:43.000 duck pass. I nearly stopped her task, had she noticed 226 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:45.519 the bridge to land, but she looked busy and a 227 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:48.919 bit back the urch. There would be other chances. The 228 00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:52.399 bridge from this angle sinned again, almost normal, but not quite. 229 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:55.039 I stood at the steel railings, listening to the river below, 230 00:10:55.080 --> 00:10:57.240 and realized if I had been dropped here from any 231 00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:00.120 other town. I wouldn't question a thing. Only is of 232 00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:03.679 memory made the difference sing out like an off keynote asterisk. 233 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:06.480 Retired men have the curious privilege of time to chase 234 00:11:06.519 --> 00:11:09.759 small puzzles. I spent the next days methodical is an 235 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:12.240 apprentice again, digging for any records that might line the 236 00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:16.200 world to my mind. Photo albums. First, I lined up 237 00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:19.639 images from barbecues, snow days, spring festivals, every one feature 238 00:11:19.639 --> 00:11:22.080 in the bridge in some corner or another. I borrowed 239 00:11:22.080 --> 00:11:25.240 Helen's local history books, heavy with umpiges and yellowed inserts. 240 00:11:25.879 --> 00:11:29.039 Her grandfather had draw mats for the town's centenary. I 241 00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:31.399 laid one out beside an official county map, tracing the 242 00:11:31.440 --> 00:11:34.279 railway's court from finger tip to finger tip. They disagreed 243 00:11:34.279 --> 00:11:37.840 by yards, then by entire buildings. The library's basement archives 244 00:11:37.879 --> 00:11:41.799 around of blueprint's plans and old council documents. The bridges 245 00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:44.759 inauguration June nineteen twenty two was captured with a photograph. 246 00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:47.679 In a background, the Goods Yard huddled on the north 247 00:11:47.720 --> 00:11:50.879 bank tracks, arking away toward the hills. When I walked 248 00:11:50.919 --> 00:11:53.279 up there, nothing remained but a level grassy slope and 249 00:11:53.320 --> 00:11:56.720 a lone fence post. Later, in another seepy photo, the 250 00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:58.840 bridge's southern approach cut straight through what is now the 251 00:11:58.840 --> 00:12:01.399 Bakeri's for a garden, snapping to a location that no 252 00:12:01.480 --> 00:12:05.000 longer fits. I spent long after means shouting these features. 253 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:08.000 A high schooler, Claire, took an interest as I addited 254 00:12:08.039 --> 00:12:10.600 all sketch maps at the library. She showed me how 255 00:12:10.600 --> 00:12:13.200 the online satellite feed, the town strewers a map, and 256 00:12:13.240 --> 00:12:15.600 the schools welcome to our city page each plotted the river, 257 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:18.240 crossing and conflicting lines and unmatching the won my feet 258 00:12:18.279 --> 00:12:20.960 trod every day. I took my sketches to Helen, who 259 00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:24.399 frowned over a stack of chronologies. The family still talks 260 00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:26.480 about the route change after the fire and thirty four, 261 00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:28.919 but no one can agree which end was rebuilt. Grampus 262 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:31.080 wore a bridge one's face the center square. But then 263 00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:33.600 why would the market folk come from the east? She 264 00:12:33.720 --> 00:12:37.960 shrugged a smile, lurking. Old towns accumulate stories faster the facts. 265 00:12:38.559 --> 00:12:41.000 Betty from the Historical Society let me sift through battered 266 00:12:41.000 --> 00:12:43.960 shoe books of snap shots. Some showed a park path, 267 00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:46.399 pine shaded leading down to the bridge, A patent ow 268 00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:48.440 chirked with lilacs that stopped far short of the river. 269 00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:51.480 A post card dated nineteen fifty one gave the southern 270 00:12:51.480 --> 00:12:53.639 bridge approach as if from a boat's eye. Platform and 271 00:12:53.639 --> 00:12:57.279 playground laid out in tidy alignment in reality near the matched. 272 00:12:57.879 --> 00:13:00.159 To mix things further, I started questioning the next ex 273 00:13:00.200 --> 00:13:02.919 generation or two. Did the fish market ever sit on 274 00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:05.360 the north shore? I asked a young dad and loading 275 00:13:05.399 --> 00:13:09.720 groceries at the cobe always, he replied, disbelief. Plain my 276 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:12.720 grandmother lived above it on that little lane right there, 277 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:16.840 he pointed, south, well away from anything I recalled. Others 278 00:13:16.879 --> 00:13:20.919 offered revisions. The festival grounds, Sun insisted, had wolfed from 279 00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:23.399 the north park to the church's back yard over the decades. 280 00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:26.559 The shops said. A delivery driver always been on the 281 00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:28.919 bank by the footpath. GPS sometimes plots a turn off 282 00:13:28.960 --> 00:13:32.639 that's not there, but you know, digital errors. Yet his 283 00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:35.600 delivery lock showed two different street addresses for the same bakery, 284 00:13:35.720 --> 00:13:39.159 alternating years, with no apparent logic. At the Senior Center, 285 00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:41.360 where we gathered for cards and weak coffee, an argument 286 00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:43.879 rupted about which Riverbank had hosted the last two autumn 287 00:13:43.879 --> 00:13:47.399 fairs north to south, obviously to buy the swings near 288 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:50.759 the bridge's old end. No two witnesses agreed, each account 289 00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:53.200 wrapt in conviction and minor detail, what stalls they had seen, 290 00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:55.879 which maple trees were turning, Who lost in it? Tattle 291 00:13:55.960 --> 00:13:58.600 left with the pie. By that Friday, I sat home, 292 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.759 surrounded by notepads, maps, and a sense of steady, ever 293 00:14:01.840 --> 00:14:05.759 deepening fascination. I wasn't facing a simple question of lost memory, 294 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:08.840 nor chalking up the matter to ordinary town growth. There 295 00:14:08.840 --> 00:14:12.559 were records, live accounts, photographs, and practices, each at odds 296 00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:14.960 with the other. Yet the life of the town uninterrupted. 297 00:14:15.559 --> 00:14:17.679 It was as if the bridge, and by extension, our 298 00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:21.639 sense of place, was quietly, definitely and ceaselessly changing, it seems, 299 00:14:21.679 --> 00:14:24.519 while everyone carried on as if anchortiite. How could a 300 00:14:24.519 --> 00:14:27.279 town collectively adapt to such shifting ground? Apparently without a 301 00:14:27.320 --> 00:14:30.720 single beat mist I found myself more alert, more animated 302 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:32.759 than I've been in years, watching the past, people traced, 303 00:14:32.919 --> 00:14:35.799 listening for the little cues in their stories, measuring in 304 00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:38.080 mind and on paper just were and when the bridge 305 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:41.879 would next appear to land asterisk somewhere in a fog 306 00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:44.200 of maps and memories. I realized the game I'd been 307 00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:47.080 playing was the rong one. I was chasing an original, 308 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:49.320 a singular or true bridge, as if there ought to 309 00:14:49.320 --> 00:14:52.159 be one. After day's knee deep in contradictions, it was 310 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:55.000 obvious this was a wild goose chase. I would find 311 00:14:55.039 --> 00:14:58.440 no primal path, no definitive angle, branded and steel and stone. 312 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:00.519 So I walked down to the river to watch the 313 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:02.919 bridge at rush hour what passes for rush hour anyway, 314 00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:06.399 watching children skip across for skull, adults carrying shopping, grandmother's 315 00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:09.960 shepherding toddlers and strollers. The bridge sat at another slightly 316 00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:12.799 oddsland now angle just right, so the morning sun poured 317 00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:15.360 through its crossbars, and the past see more gradual, easier 318 00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:18.200 on tired knees. The liveries rolled on to the southern 319 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:20.480 enjusters they always had, though the curb cut seemed to 320 00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:23.320 have veged a meter right. If anyone noticed, they gave 321 00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:26.200 no sign. The scowboy tripped on a slight step up 322 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:28.200 to the rails. A postman parked his bicycle just with 323 00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:30.440 the curb not always there. I was now convinced now 324 00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:33.519 offered an easy dismount. All couples rode the length of 325 00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:36.200 the bridge, exchanging he loes at the midpoint, then peeling 326 00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:39.639 off without hesitation toward whatever new arrangement the streets now provided. 327 00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:43.320 Watching them made something take in my mind. In railroading, 328 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:45.519 there's a trick cold repairing under trafficker tracks can be 329 00:15:45.559 --> 00:15:48.080 lifted straight and bolted down a new wall. Trains still 330 00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:51.519 pass overhead, no interruption to the schedule. Perhaps the town 331 00:15:51.600 --> 00:15:54.039 was doing something similar, only at the level of memory 332 00:15:54.039 --> 00:15:56.879 and habit. Maybe the world changed and the only way 333 00:15:56.879 --> 00:15:58.559 to keep living in it was to just step for 334 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:02.200 step without fuss. Later, at the local museum, one room 335 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:04.440 and a store room, both managed by volunteers, I poked 336 00:16:04.440 --> 00:16:07.200 among models and carvings made by towns for cover the decades. 337 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:10.000 On a warp shelf were hand carved replicas of bridges, 338 00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:13.759 one bench sharply at the north bank, another deployed amidst bunkink. 339 00:16:13.879 --> 00:16:16.759 A third approach was almost perpendicular to the far side. 340 00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:19.519 Each board date, a family name, and a little sign 341 00:16:19.559 --> 00:16:22.120 of looking south nineteen eighty six, horror toward the park 342 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:26.039 nineteen seventy two. None matched each other or the town outside. 343 00:16:26.519 --> 00:16:28.679 I found Helen closing up the library early for a 344 00:16:28.679 --> 00:16:31.440 school group, and asked if she'd ever painted the bridge. 345 00:16:31.480 --> 00:16:33.720 She nodded and showed me a collection of what colors won, 346 00:16:33.720 --> 00:16:35.840 with the bridge looming over a field of paupers, another 347 00:16:35.879 --> 00:16:38.919 tucked between shops that don't stand in line. Each scene 348 00:16:38.960 --> 00:16:41.399 was titled looking toward Home, though the home in question 349 00:16:41.480 --> 00:16:44.200 scene to migrate. With each piece, it dawned on me 350 00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:46.480 in a gentle and unmistakable way that the bridge was 351 00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:48.960 more than steel and stone. It was a living memory, 352 00:16:49.000 --> 00:16:51.000 a channel for the town to quietly reshape its past 353 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:54.039 and present to fit whatever it needed. Now. I resolved 354 00:16:54.039 --> 00:16:56.759 to embrace this philosophy, if not explanation, by setting out 355 00:16:56.759 --> 00:16:59.519 each morning for the next week, notebook in hand, recording 356 00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:01.919 with this much care as a rail lock, exactly where 357 00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:05.039 and how the bridge met the Earth. Asterisk. During that 358 00:17:05.079 --> 00:17:08.160 week of careful observation, arose before dawn, took breakfast, alan 359 00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:12.200 and charted each detail approaches, curbs, benches, playground, side streets, 360 00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:15.079 even the pattern of early sunlight on the rails, a 361 00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:18.880 copperdee of orientations precisely as my old hands allowed. Day one, 362 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:21.359 A slight bend at the north bank, the platform close 363 00:17:21.400 --> 00:17:24.799 by in freshly swept. Day two, the curve approached more broadly, 364 00:17:24.839 --> 00:17:27.640 with the gentler slope of the bench absent. Day three, 365 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:30.000 a shop direct run from bakery door to bridgside. The 366 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:32.720 playground shifted away from the line of sight. I tried 367 00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:34.720 to mark by tree, by fence posts, by the way 368 00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:38.000 children veered after crossing each day, the joining points were 369 00:17:38.039 --> 00:17:40.960 never quite the same. One morning across to the north 370 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:44.160 side and found the old train platform, not the overgrown's 371 00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:46.480 ment slabs, but the lawn level boards they had last 372 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:48.799 seen in nineteen seventy four, then torn up for good. 373 00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:51.680 Did they lay de soaked and utterly familiar, as if 374 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:54.240 the years between had dropped away. A woman with a 375 00:17:54.279 --> 00:17:56.319 stroller paused on the far end, tipping her hat. As 376 00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:59.079 if this sight made perfect sense, I asked a passing 377 00:17:59.079 --> 00:18:01.440 man older than I, by the look of his stupid platform, 378 00:18:01.559 --> 00:18:04.720 you ever remember it being like that? He squinted, then nodded. 379 00:18:05.400 --> 00:18:07.880 Shorter once. Now it's longer, but kinder on the knees. 380 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:10.400 My kids used to run its whole length, he paused. 381 00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:12.839 They're come to think of it, sometimes I think it 382 00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:15.119 never had railings at all. Funny how things blow together 383 00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:18.240 at the Senior Center over a table of dominoes. I 384 00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:20.119 drew a map and asked the assembled how did the 385 00:18:20.119 --> 00:18:22.880 bridge serve as a short cut in your day? Harold 386 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:25.759 tapped the spot well away from today's rails. He used 387 00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:27.680 to go straight to the old town. Save me fifteen 388 00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:31.160 minutes walking the brewery lane. Tosc a counter. No, you're 389 00:18:31.160 --> 00:18:33.640 thinking of the bipe aass short lived. I remember cutting 390 00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:36.480 through to the festival grounds on right from the north Stairs. 391 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:39.759 Susan piped up. Never mind any of that. My mother 392 00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:41.759 told me the bridge was meant for waddons. She said, 393 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:43.799 cuts crossed back in the war, but only from the 394 00:18:43.839 --> 00:18:47.039 east bank. Each story diverged, painting a map glimpse in 395 00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:50.640 three directions at once. In the library's reading room, Helen 396 00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:53.759 and Eath postal logs from the last half century. Look here, 397 00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:57.920 she showed, neat columns marked and fountain pen Each few years, 398 00:18:57.960 --> 00:19:00.559 the addresses by the bridge change ordered, something always being 399 00:19:00.599 --> 00:19:03.480 moved to. Sometimes its routine, like realignment after a flood, 400 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:06.839 other times no reasons given at all. Notes were scribbled 401 00:19:06.839 --> 00:19:09.359