Speaker 1: Hey, babes, Welcome back to Vanity. Farah.
Speaker 2: My name is Chris Farrah, and we continue the journey
that is ninety Day Fiance. It's season twelve, episode seven,
The Ball and Chain. I obviously love the season and
I could talk about it for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: It's one of the better seasons we've had in a minute.
Speaker 2: And obviously we know why the OG franchise works. It's
because it's brand new people who are truly in ridiculous
situations trying to relate to each other when they have
vastly different experiences, worldviews, triggers.
Speaker 1: And you know, values.
Speaker 2: And I am here for it because I think at
the end of the day, it's interesting to watch people
have to come together and work on things, and especially
if hopefully they share some morsel of love between them.
So what they're trying to do is, you know, grow
and evolve the relationship they have. Obviously what sucks was
when people are fake, are weird. But at the same time,
you know, here I am talking an hour about Mido. Okay,
let's get in. Why don't we start with our good
friends Marissa and Edward. So obviously we know that her
rich ass family waspy, rich ass family is coming to visit,
and Marissa does two things that I find to.
Speaker 1: Be of note.
Speaker 2: She a tells Edward to be the family approval style Edward,
and that is like less fun Edward. Don't hug or
pick up anyone, And don't call her mommy, mommy, don't
call her stepdad poppy.
Speaker 1: Don't do it.
Speaker 2: Just pretend that they are cold, sort of like wooly
mammoths that you have to approach with caution and.
Speaker 1: Like try and read their body language. Isn't that so interesting?
It's interesting to be like change who you are and how.
Speaker 2: You proceed and talk to people because my family won't
like your natural gregarious personality anyway. Just interesting. So the
second thing that's interesting is that we're like, okay, Marissa,
show you have this big ass helm. It's gorgeous, you know,
on the outside, on the inside very suspect. Let's just
see what your life is like. You're having your big
Italian family come over. We know what that life's like.
Now she got food catered. Now do I expect Marissa
to take time off of her busy bar teaching class
to make a caprese salad?
Speaker 1: No? I don't but she leaves the catered food in.
Speaker 2: The exact packaging it comes in all these plastic shells
and or tenfoil shells. And she says that she's embarrassed
by it, and she should be. But also she has
no other servingwear, and what why versa your seasoned? How
have you not gotten any serveware? Also, you've been married before,
so I know you were you were you have a
registry or you had a registry at some point people
had to go to a department store and buy you
your bullshit things on that long off registry that she
you know, had a gun and went around, you know,
one of those price guns.
Speaker 1: And put them on.
Speaker 2: Like, I cannot believe this bitch has never gotten her
ass to Creighton Barrel or Williamson Sonoma and has bought
like that kind of basic earthware and a cream you
know what I'm saying, Like, I just I'm not expecting
her to have like stop and stuff like that, But
I can't believe that she doesn't have any servingwear.
Speaker 1: This house doesn't seem real. This seems almost like a.
Speaker 2: Airbnb home with how cheap everything is on the inside,
but also how unlivable, like her weird two showers with weird,
horrible shower curtains, obviously her bedding. But like I when
she says she has no serving wear, how have you
ever had a party? So you yeah, like you've never
hosted a holiday. You have two kids, you just never
have them their kids over for like, you know, an easy,
breezy birthday. But you need to get like a cupcake platter.
It's really remarkable, like I mean, and I'm remarking on it.
I mean, she then she complains about that. But then
even for her like family, she has to undo a
bunch of plastic utensils, plastic plates, plastic utensils. There's just
a part of her that's like I cannot be.
Speaker 1: Bothered to fill a dishwasher.
Speaker 2: I just want to throw everything away, just create a
bunch of fucking trash. I mean, why are you telling
Edward how to behave in front of your family. If
you're gonna have your family over and just serve them
on a bunch of fucking plastic, look at yourself. When
one finger is pointing at someone else, four more pointing
back at you. So she's having her obviously mom, her stepdad.
Her stepdad's name is Bob, and she calls her stepdad Bob,
her aunt's uncles and a cousin named Carla, and she
says the food is Italian, so are they, but Bob isn't.
And then this is where Edward can't help, like just
parceling out a little bit of joy, and he's like, no,
he's Dominican.
Speaker 1: And he laughs, which is hilarious. It's a great joke.
Speaker 2: And when we see Bob's face in retaliation to that joke,
we realize this man is dripping in like a UK face.
He seems he looks like the most English person that
you'd pluck off a countryside. I mean, you know, he
seems country English, you know, which I find, let's just
be honest charming. You know, there's cobblestones in whatever neck
of the woods his great grandparents are from, you know,
like he has good taste and butter. So her mom
looks like a combination of Candy Spelling and Tory Spelling together.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Look, she looks like both women together as one woman.
And what's interesting about that is that Tory Spelling looks
nothing like her mom Candy Spelling. But also doesn't Marissa's
mom also feel like she probably has like a Candy
Spelling esque demeanor, and just how Tory rebelled from her mom.
Speaker 1: Don't you kind of.
Speaker 2: Feel like that's Marissa, Marissa having to listen to her
mom talk and is watching Marissa's face.
Speaker 1: She almost does like regress back.
Speaker 2: To like a fifteen year old. I bet Marisa was
like an absolute handful. Her mom's going to be like
I raised a strong woman, but I feel like, yeah,
like I feel like you guys have fought, and Marissa
has done a lot of rebellious things. I think that
Marissa's whole, like I'm going to date working classmen, is
like a weird rebellion against her mom, even though I
think that her mom came into money because of Bob Bob,
because you know, I deep dive was like a CFO
or one of those things of David's bridal, which coincidentally
is where she worked for years, so you know, God
bless Nepo bridal baby, that's what we call them now.
Of course, when the whole family's there, Edward's doing his best.
He you know, at one point, is like in the
middle of like being lovely and charming, and Marisa's like,
get up, I need to sit down and it's like awkward.
So then someone else is like, oh, here, you can
have my seat, Edward, and then they're like, okay, we've
had enough, and so the mom starts to be like,
I know we've met, but I just don't know you,
and I don't know how I feel about your relationship
with my daughter. They're like, well, enough hard questions. Let's
go outside and have more hard questions. So Carla, who
has a personality Marissa's mom, and Edward go outside to
continue this great conversation, which feels very much like a
hometown date from a Bachelor episode, you know, even if
you know you know. Carla tries to lay some warmth
and is like, well, he has to be special because
you haven't brought a lot of men around your kids.
She's like, yeah, you know, I wouldn't do that unless
they were special, and the mom gets I mean real
conservative coded, and she's like, listen, we all know America
is a wonderful place, happiest place on her Some would
say the Disneyland of all countries, the best, the first.
We're like the first, No, young, She's like, this is
where everyone wants to be. The American dream you've heard
of that, and what I'm trying to say is you
have a lot of reasons to want to come over here.
And he, you know, God Bless is like, I'm from
the dr It's a tropical paradise. Maybe you feel like
the socio economics systems are different from what you know.
But for I guess our lack of like having disposable
income to buy absolute bullshit chotchkeys and I don't know,
plastic plates to serve our family.
Speaker 1: We have family, We have like.
Speaker 2: Warmth and joy in our households, So I mean, you know,
wealth is relative. And she's like, mm hmm, what do
you like about my daughter? What is it about my
daughter that's so special to you? Which is a weird
kind of question to ask, but you know, she asks it,
and he, I think, answers in a way where he listen.
He doesn't want to have to curtail to this lady,
but he's like, look, I want respect and loyalty, and
that's what she has.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I think in Edward's mind, he wasn't like, well I
like that body, and we fuck real good, we fuck
on vacations so well. So I was like, oh, this moment,
I can have this in real life. He doesn't say that,
so he thinks he gets a gold star. Now, Marissa's
like he sounded macho and doesn't really like, didn't really
showcase his caring nature in his heart. He tells Marissa's
mom that he is going to do everything in his hands,
and I think she takes that to mean like he
is going to do all it takes to do right
by her. But you know, he didn't quite say that.
Speaker 1: I think that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Edward was on the defense and he was told
to be, so I don't think that we can get
like a true Edward being himself. You literally told him
not to do so, Bob at that point, you know,
is like knee deep in like a plastic cup of whiskey,
chomping on some dry lasagna. Honestly, Okay, let's move on
to Meato and Debbie. Now this is oh no, sorry, Meto.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I have small little pictures, and then I'm like,
what do they look like? In real life? Oh? Do
I know?
Speaker 2: Have my Meto and Debbie thing? He said, there they
are Meto and Debbie. Okay, Now, obviously we're a hot
on the heels of what we can only assume is
the last straw of this relationship. But it's suspect why
he's not gone. We wake up, He's there, She's there.
We're like, why isn't this man in a different hotel?
That seems weird, Like he has disposal income, he's a
tour guide, plus all the movies, plus just the engagement
of having almost you know, seven hundred or whatever he
bought now fifty thousand followers. You would think that a
man that has almost a million followers on Instagram would
make so much money, you know, with spons deals. But
guess what, No, he's talking. They're not talking, so basically
they have producers coming in to facilitate this. I also
think it's ridiculous and kind of funny that there is
no friend or family member for him to call to
have one of their classic state what happened last night
on the phone with someone else's round up convos, but
there's not and take note of it. He says that
he had been patient with her, but he has no
idea what happened because she just came in the car
and started yelling, and he didn't understand where and why
that would happen. And meanwhile, her friends are still shocked
they're just like, yeah, I went bad so fast, and
we're like, well, no, it was already bad, like you
guys were seeing it at like a five simmering and
then it blew up.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: They had gotten more drinks at the bar because Astra
and Laura her friends are like the only important sort
of like sociable, somewhat interesting people involved. Of course, Debbie
had driven home and he had said that his plan
was to go back to his country, and she had
told him to look for flights. So the producers asked
her what happened the next day, and we realize this
girl is insane because she said it was just a
bad day and I had a mini meltdown. So she's
already internalizing the guilt and problem of last night being
solely on her shoulders. Now, she did blow up at him,
but it was caused by his weird passive aggressive energy.
Now she starts to think it was her fault and
you can tell. And that's when we realize that Debbie
hasn't left the situation, and this is situation's not done.
Now when she is at home, she goes in and
out of having no makeup on, and then makeup on
and she's of course having to go to work, and
he is, you know, still reeling. He's mad that her
friends questioned his virginity and that she questioned his virginity, which.
Speaker 1: Is like, is that what happened?
Speaker 2: But no, That's when Debbie was like, you'll fuck with
other bitches on Instagram. You won't even post me, and
you won't ask me if I'm okay.
Speaker 1: She says.
Speaker 2: He says, it's over, over over, But we're realizing that
they're still together. Spoiler alert on Instagram. I think Mary
Pants or one of the Instagram detectivey kind of profiles
had let it be known that they got married. There's
a wedding certificate. We know that happens after after this.
Why do we know what happened? Because we can tell
this happens around Halloween because of the bullshit cost and
they get married in December, which is.
Speaker 1: What do you do? What do you do with that?
You wipe your hands of this situation.
Speaker 2: You're just like, I, well, okay, well I guess not.
Don't waste my breath on you, even though I'm going
to keep wasting my breath on her. If you had
her as a friend, you wouldn't be friends with her anymore.
You would just be like, well, it's awkward. I don't
know how to describe being around you other than like
being friends with someone who's falling into a cult and
you just can't do anything about it. And you tell
them they're crazy and things look weird, and they're like,
I know, I know, but I'm still in it. You're like, well, okay,
Well some people can like deal with that by either
compartmentalizing or just being like we won't talk about the cult,
but me I can't, you know, because if your lover
or if you're in a cult or something like that,
it's sort of like permeates all the other conversations, like
what are you doing this weekend? I just you know,
going to some meetings. You know they're like cult meetings,
so you know, like, what are you doing this weekend?
I'm just gonna, like, you know, be with my boyfriend.
You're like, oh, you're nightmarish, mean, narcissistic person that has
control over you and you have low self esteem and
insecurity issues and that's why you're still with them.
Speaker 1: Like how do you get past that? Hard? It's hard.
Speaker 2: You have to like sometimes just be like, you know
what I'm going to surround myself with people that are
like doing good and positive things. I'm not going to
surround myself with people that I have to bite my
tongue because they're in horribly toxic situations and I either
am going to like resent them or you know, have
to deal with their neurosis or what it all falls apart.
I'm going to be the one that has to pick
them up again, even though I told them what's happening
right now, which is that they're being bad Night Marrish
with their own decision making. So anyway, by the way,
also two things about Debbie. Besides the fact that she
you know, won't get out of this situation. She loves
that's a Cobalt blue, and I think that she also
has had some lift filler that's like migrating here and
there sometimes in her car profiles. I'm like, oh interesting.
So she obviously goes to work the next morning and
he again is still there. The producers come and again
to talk to him, and he's wearing like a cream
Barefoot Dreams esque comfy cozy rope. I have to assume
it's Devons, but I also kind of think that maybe
he brought it from Egypt.
Speaker 1: It is cream, it's cozy.
Speaker 2: It's a cozy cream rope. She's going to go meet
up with Astra, and we know that Astra has to
lay down that law. He has no friends that have
a recount conversation with, but she does. And Astra is
like all of us, except that Astra won't yell at her,
which is not what I would do.
Speaker 1: I would yell at her. I couldn't be on.
Speaker 2: They'd be like that Chris is insane and she's abusive
to her friend. But at some point I'd just be
shaking Debbie and be.
Speaker 1: Like, no slap, slap girl, wake up, you know.
Speaker 2: So they meet and Debbie's like, I'm embarrassed. Yeah, I
like everything that's happened.
Speaker 1: Astra's rocking her nineties esque uniform, which is like a
green and black flannel docks and sort of kool Aid
stained hair. Astra says that Mito came like super fucking.
Speaker 2: Close to her face and was in her space like
he was gonna fight, and that he was immature and
also inappropriate, and that he's over forty, so grow the
fuck up, which is exactly true. Den Debbie's like, can
you calm down? Astra, can you just calm down? Astra
right here starts to realize is that Debbie is on
the wrong side of her story.
Speaker 1: Astra's like, me.
Speaker 2: Calm down, me come down talking about what happened last
night and your guy, me calm down.
Speaker 1: We all saw that. Wow telling.
Speaker 2: Debbie starts to low key defend him, and Astra's like, okay,
let me see, let me regroup. Okay, do you think
that he really loves you?
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel genuine, which is the best that she
can do saying all the things we've said. Now.
Speaker 2: Another nightmarish thing is that Debbie's been on TikTok with
sad music playing in the background for half a video
to be like the mean things that you guys have
been saying and also please stop calling him gay, And
we're like, okay, ok K.
Speaker 1: But you know that right, you see it? You the
pants and everything.
Speaker 2: Like Debbie put all twelve of her toes down and
was like, I highly doubt this isn't a TikTok that
Meadow would move across country, give up everything that he's
known and loved what just for a simple acting dream. Meanwhile,
Rissu's mom is like, of course he would, Debbie, it's
the greatest country in the world. Edward doesn't even have
weird acting aspirations. Debbie obviously, you know, doesn't have that either.
But it's crazy to Yeah, it's really hilarious to think
that she thinks that no person would ever do such
a thing, when in fact, acting dreams is one of
those things that has definitely made people move. I know,
I was born and raised in the valley and you know,
outskirts of Los Angeles, and I'll tell you, people definitely
do move for this Pacific dream. A lot of them
do all the time, continue to do so, even though
it's a failing industry. Debbie is like now skirting around
the idea that this isn't over, even though she said
it was over, even though he said it was over,
And even though she said look for flights, he was like,
i'd I have to look for fights. But there were
the one today and we're like, that's not real. Yes,
I do think there's a flight you can get to
go back to Egypt, like at any time, Like surely
maybe not from Louis Armstrong Airport, which, of course I
keep mentioning because I do love that airport. It's the
one in New Orleans, but like, surely he can get
a flight from.
Speaker 1: There to Atlanta, Atlanta back to London, London to Egypt
or god bless New Orleans to New York, New York
to London, London to Egypt or whatever it is to Paris.
Speaker 2: Honey, I'm this there is Yeah, you can start the
journey for sure. When he says that, I'm like, oh
my god, Debbie's like, well, I'll tell you what has
to happen for this to move forward.
Speaker 1: He has to apologize.
Speaker 2: He just has to say I'm sorry. Also, he's not
going to say I'm sorry. What's going to happen is
he is going to yell at you for being frustrated
and blowing up at him, and bitch, you're gonna apologize
because we've already seen it happen, and then you're gonna
ask for a ring, and we're gonna like swallow our
whole heads, just like trying to deal and cope with it.
It's one of those things, yeah, where you're just like, okay,
well I can't stand on a soapbox and try and
save someone, you know, drowning.
Speaker 1: You know, like I don't know why it was.
Speaker 2: Those are two different thoughts, but I can't, you know,
like hang off this cliff, you know, with you about
to fall over, just holding my arm dangling somewhat like
gripping it too tightly, and then also me falling off
this clip. I'm just gonna let you go, Debbie, where's
Devin right now? Because Devin lives in this apartment. We
have not seen enough of Devin in her sure jan face,
and I feel like, yeah, Devin has to come back in,
you know, link arms with Astra and be like mom,
what the uh? Even lily Bit has like left. We
haven't seen lily Bit in like at least a whole episode,
maybe two, because lily Bit's like, I don't know if
I can do it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. This two bedroom apartment is still too small.
I don't know.
Speaker 2: What hold that man can have on her because we
know that he hasn'tdigmatized her. He's like curly hairmatized her.
He's like mean girled her. It's like he is the
Regina George and she's like, you know, one of the
Amanda Sifred kind of like characters, Like she's just daft
and stupid and like loves this like toxic abusive energy. Huh.
It really goes to show that like, men aren't shit
in New Orleans, she can't find anyone that would possibly
treat her better, or she has such a specific type
and the specific type is.
Speaker 1: For me, not it.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's move on to Annabelle and Shay. So she
comes back from the saddest spa we've ever seen that
gave her such a shitty manicure. There was no facial
there was no massage, and all she got was Allison
being like, I was gonna tell herself, but then my
dad told her so, But I'm gonna build on this
Angie being like, no, I no, I never do anything
weird with your husband. So, because Angie had such a
reaction to annabel which was that she wouldn't touch Shay
with a ten foot pole or a big as deerhead,
Angie now feels better and things that Angie's telling Sorry,
Annabelle feels better things that Angie's telling the truth.
Speaker 1: And now Annabelle.
Speaker 2: Has sort of joined forces with Shay to be like,
but I'm still worried about Nicole. She accepts Shae's apology
and she's like, great, guess what. It's football nine in
America or watching football on NBC, just like the Carr
Underwood song, and you know what comes with football, beer
and my friends. Let's all hang out have beer in
my friends And she's like, no, you're not out of
the doghouse yet. And obviously either of mie. There's dog
hare everywhere. So one thing I'm not going to do
is enforce the Asian stereotype household rule of.
Speaker 1: Taking off our shoes.
Speaker 2: We're all gonna wear our shoes all the time because
you know, here's neither nor there, and I don't trust
my feet on this, and so you can have your
shoes on too. We're gonna stay home and drink herbal
tea and do yoga. And he's like, we're gonna do
what now. She's like, no beer, and he's like and
she's like herbal tea, one of those like slimming down
tea's honey, because you're getting chubs, chubs, my gubs. And
we're gonna do yoga, which is basically just stretching. And
he is like having to say okay for this or
it's producer led, you tell me, because I do feel
like if it was an important game and if he
really wanted to have beers with friends. He'd be like, Okay,
I'll do this yoga for twenty minutes, but I'm saying
right now, right afterward, I'm gonna again some beer. A
man like this isn't gonna suddenly change because of the
love of a woman. You can tell very much that
Shay's whole viewpoint is that he would like Annabelle to
take care of him because she is very good at
doing so, and also do all the things for him
that he doesn't want to do, like reach his toenails
and also let him, you know, have something to poke on.
And also, you know, he likes someone who's going to
try and get rid of just sixty percent of the
dog hair on the couch, make the bed in the morning,
and have him keep doing Shae.
Speaker 1: Good old Southern boy Shay.
Speaker 2: The parallels between him and Katie are hilarious to me,
except that I feel like Josh isn't so forthcoming with
why he still he stays around. But both Annabelle and
Josh are getting something from those relationships. So as Shake
gets on the ground to do whatever yoga she thinks
she's going to do, and she's basically just warming him
up for what also will be a zumba class. When
he gets his shit together, you really see the dog
looking at him being like, I'm judging you, and also
huh huh, guess who's on the couch right now enjoying
their life, and guess who's on the floor, bitch, Shay.
The kinds of shirts that Shay wears are polyester and
too tight for him. And then you also kind of
feel like, don't breathe and probably very aren't comfortable. Very
aren't comfortable, is what I said. You know that senses
very aren't grammatically correct. Let's move on though, to Katie
and Josh. Katie and Josh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Katie and Josh have a huge episode. Uh.
Speaker 2: It's always interesting when they decide to give us like
more of someone or less of someone, But it feels
like they've acquired some amount of furniture, like either from
her friend or whatnot. Because he now has a desk
and an office chair, and he admits the office share
is nice, it's a good office.
Speaker 1: It's good.
Speaker 2: It's a great office chair. He thinks it's comfortable. He's like, okay,
you're right, great, and then she starts saying things that
we also realize our direct comments to him that he doesn't.
Speaker 1: Believe because he's used to like.
Speaker 2: A passive, aggressive society, and she's kind of direct. So
she's like, I just, you know, don't feel comfortable sharing
a space or like ever living with people.
Speaker 1: I don't like having to hold space.
Speaker 2: For others and share space with them. Katie, for all
of her eccentricities, is highly judgmental on how Josh lives.
Almost like Katie thinks that everything she does is the
right way and smart way to do things, even though
in confessionals she's also open that her executive functioning and
so some of her like tightly held beliefs about money
or how to buy eggs, or what she wants to
do or what she's capable of doing in any given
time doesn't seem to like follow through with, Like she
doesn't seem to want to change her behavior in the
presence of someone who does things differently. She almost like
leans back on her laurels to defend her behavior, which
is she's like, you put a lot of pressure on
me to get things done in a certain way by
a certain time, And what he wants to do is
like put together a house to be livable, and she
doesn't have all the capabilities to get all that done
because they're overwhelming to her, and she like hyper scrutinizes
the best way and or cheapest way, which is in
her mind the best way to do so. And so
because he wants to get things done, he's not allowing
her to do that process of think about do one
small thing, then get overwhelmed and do something else and
get distracted and then be like, well, just wait, just wait,
just wait, because she doesn't see the value and having
a put together, livable home that feels good to her
visually and space wise, as well as make her partner
happy and feeling settled. Sometimes like disorganization in the mind
not can be remedied, but can feel a certain you know,
relief from being in an organized aesthetically comfortable, if not
beautiful in a way, like aesthetically pleasing space. You know,
like having your shit all over the place and never
making your bed and like how having you know.
Speaker 1: Dishes pile up. All of that does something to.
Speaker 2: Your mind as well as like all the things you
have to do. It doesn't relieve it, It makes it
more intense because you start to calculate all the things
you have to do and then just the mental fatigue
of your to do list could be overwhelming, but walking
into a space that you've taken the time to put
together that makes you feel relief, slash, capable and productive.
You know, like is mental health, Like it is mentally
healthy and also is positive for like your own self care,
just like in some ways, you know, taking a shower,
doing your hair, putting on clothes that is like clean
and steamed or whatever like that you feel like you
look good like helps visually sort of connect and aligne
your thought processes and how you feel about yourself and
what you know you can accomplish with like the rest
of your day. And that's why I guess I go
back and forth being like, who is her like psychologist
and has she done like cognitive behavioral therapy to understand
like the ways in which she could help herself. It's
just so interesting how defensive she gets about her lifestyle
choices in relationship to him, Because what's also interesting is
that you start to feel a certain level of disrespect
that she has for the way he lives his life.
Speaker 1: If he is.
Speaker 2: Someone who has made money and who has money and
has savings and wants to like you know, put together
a normal home that has all the accouterments that would
allow you know, daily life to be easy, somewhat comfortab
and you know, like there's eggs involved, and you feel
good about the eggs because you feel like they're either
pasture raised or organic or fresh. And you have a
table to sit on that makes sense, and you have
like a chair to do you're typing from, and you
also have like a full sized bed or queen where
you you know, know that the mattress underneath isn't teeming
with who knows what. You're able to sort of like
breathe in a way and accomplish things in a way
because like you're starting from a good place. And she
like it's like, yeah, she doesn't take any of that
in and she's just like he's wasteful, he's demanding. She's
not at a place yet where she's like, you know what,
you do things differently than me, But I can see
the value of how you want to live, and I
understand that. I am like, so far the pendulum shifts
for me in a different direction. So far I would
really like compromise and come together and like maybe you
can help me, you know, get this place.
Speaker 1: Good for both of us.
Speaker 2: Or she could easily just be like, all right, we'll
just go out and buy your own eggs with your
own money. Then i won't tell you what's right or wrong.
I'll just assume people do things differently. I know I
do things differently. It's just an interesting place to not
be in. So they get into a crazy conversation because
she's like, yeah, I don't get why I have to
feel any empathy for you at all, because I've gone
in many different countries and pet sat in them for
a year or less, and I've traveled, so like, why
is it so hard for you to come here? And
he's like, bitch, I moved here, and also so like
I left everything I knew and it's hard to be
an immigrant in America. He doesn't say brown person though,
you know, God bless, and she's like like, I guess
I relate. But it's also like crazy that her mind
let her say that sentence in the first place. Guess what,
it's her birthday, and it's interesting that Josh thought that
she was twenty seven when she was only twenty six,
and now it's her twenty seventh birthday. And he's like, oh,
it's not twenty eight? How do you not know the
age of your fiance? Josh really feels like Josh has
never had the possibility of a lady in his life
for longer than like a two day period of time,
and he doesn't want to give it up because his
clock is taken or he wants to be settled in
some way. It's interesting, I already said this out loud,
but like, it's true that some women, some people, some
people give off this like hectic, chaotic energy and it
reads to some boring men as being adventurous, charming, exciting
that her presence brings about experiences that he wouldn't necessarily
have because she provides access to situations he wouldn't be in.
Like either because she is more jovial because of the
alcohol and like invites social people to come in and
then offer certain experiences. Or she's just so down in
the moment for things that she allows them to say
yes to things that they would maybe moll over instead
or not do if it wasn't with her, and that
kind of life force becomes intoxicating to them. It's kind
of like she's not rich right, like, or maybe she is,
but like she's not rich in the sense of like
dating someone who's so wealthy that like they're like, well,
do you want to hop on the PJ and go
to my friend's house and bermuda this weekend?
Speaker 1: You know, it's like I haven't.
Speaker 2: Dated that person either, But if you're dating that kind
of person, then they have like all of these experiences
that you might just be able to like hitch your
boat to, right, Like, oh, I guess you know this weekend,
I was just going to like stay home and watch
Netflix documentaries. But you know she has all these rich
friends that do these fun things and or you know,
if you were dating someone that was pseudo in some
sort of scene or a famous person.
Speaker 1: That.
Speaker 2: They color your social life in such a way that.
Speaker 1: You can.
Speaker 2: Detect in your life before and after the BC and
ad of them in your life, because your life used
to look like, well.
Speaker 1: I would just hang with my friends and play D
and D. But then I started dating this person that like,
you know, wants to go to or wants to travel together,
or gets invited to things, or you know, is really
active in some community that I, you know, wouldn't necessarily
be in, but it's fun and you know, makes me
feel like I'm alive. Like she has that quality that
Josh can't get enough of.
Speaker 2: So she's like, guess what for my birthday? I'm going
to this is a shock sit down. I want to
go listen to a bar. Okay, wait and drink alcohol
with my friends.
Speaker 1: And Josh is like, didn't see that one coming. Has
anyone ever just been like, bitch, go to do like a.
Speaker 2: Murder mystery dinner. She's like, I have something to tell you.
Sit down and he's like, uh, okay, are you pregnant?
And she's like, oh no, no, I'm on the pill.
I have one of those copper iud's.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: He's like, She's like, remember my friend Ryan, you know
the Ryan that you hate, the Ryan that like knows
that we were together. But then I made out with
him two to four times since we've been together, and
he's like yeah, She's.
Speaker 1: Like I invited him.
Speaker 2: Ryan is some guy that she went to Chicago one
time and I don't know men in a dating app
and was like or I don't know. She says, a
run club. I mean, is it just like run club
meetups everywhere? And she was like, let's run one day.
Guess what we should do the Boston Marathon, No Chicago Marathon.
I don't know where she met on one of those places, honey,
and he was like okay, and then they just kept
you know, drinking after their like you know, big runs,
you know, and then very dehydrated together and then they
needed to make out. Josh is really mad at Ryan
when he should be mad at who Katie or really himself,
because guess what, he met Katie doing the very thing
that she's doing, which is making out with people, and
for some reason he has a problem with that. You know,
she told him that she's that kind of person and
showed him.
Speaker 1: Why is he mad at Ryan? Makes no sense? So
we also find.
Speaker 2: Out that Joshua has a list of people that he
doesn't like in her life. And I'm sure they're just
all the men that she was hooked up with, but
if he was also like, and your mom's on that list.
Speaker 1: Just kidding.
Speaker 2: But she of course invited Ryan and then she has
to tell him to his face and he's like, Okay, well,
what I don't want you to do, though, is take
shots and make out with people. And she sometimes she
looks at him and the confessionals or in the docuseries
are watching where you see her eyes yell at him no,
but she stopped her lips from doing so. But she's
kind of like blinking and rebooting in that process.
Speaker 1: So it looks like this, like I know you're on
a podcast, so you're like, bitch, what did you just do?
It's just, yeah, you know what I did. It's her face.
Speaker 2: She talks in tiktoks about the fact that she knows
she's a blinker and she doesn't know why she does it.
Maybe she doesn't when she's thinking or having thoughts, and
guess what, she has a lot of thinking thought moments.
She's like, Okay, I won't take shots and make out
with people. It's just that sometimes I like to seek
and rerec validation. And she like thrill and entertainment. Josh
is like me too, That's why I'm with you. Don't
you get those things with me? Aren't I thrilling and
entertaining enough for you? And Katie is like blink.
Speaker 1: Blink blink, blink, blink blink blink blink, blink, lips just
pursing into a no, just being like mm mmmmm mm hmmm.
Speaker 2: Is Joshua a runner? Like is he you know, it
seems like he's running towards his problems. Katie, he doesn't
seem like a runner. He seems like a stare. He
seems like a floater that attaches his dinghy or gets
his anchor and then just sits for too long in
troubled waters.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. I work in metaphors now.
Speaker 2: Katie has moments of lucidity, which makes us wonder why
she doesn't like keep on to them, because she's like,
I want to be a good partner and we're like
you do, oh you do?
Speaker 1: Oh well, then here's some things.
Speaker 2: Allow other people to live, especially when you live so
specifically and particularly.
Speaker 1: Also don't you know, disrespect them on national television over
and over again doing the same shit that you can
stop by not putting yourself in those situations, but you
do over and over again. Can you imagine, like how
many great things in Portland she could do for her birthday?
But you know, she goes to a place called the
Twilight Room, so.
Speaker 2: She's trying to confirm who's going to be there, and
then Josh is like, have you texted that guy I hate?
And she's like, yep, yep, we didn't talk on the phone. Though,
so we didn't talk on the phone. It's like, bitch,
we're twenties. You don't talk on the phone anymore. Then
you guys talk on the phone. What do you mean
talk on the phone like your voice people to send
voice notes back and forth.
Speaker 1: Now you know that.
Speaker 2: Now Josh asks the question, why do you want to
be friends with someone who we both know you don't
really have friend vibes with and you have repeatedly like
kissed and it makes me upset, And she's like, well,
he's fun, you're not. And also he would pick up
if I called him in the middle and I crying.
I found that very interesting also just to say it
is like your partner who I'm assuming is there in
the middle of the night physically with you if you
are waking up and crying. But we also know that
she meant she wants someone to when she's drunk in
the middle of the night, she can call and he
can come over, like to be like, he's fun and
I get emotional support from him.
Speaker 1: Seems like cheating.
Speaker 2: You just met this guy like at a meetup club
for runners, like and then you guys made out, Like
what is this person going to tell you?
Speaker 1: In a different city if you're crying.
Speaker 2: Also, yeah, like the fact that Josh isn't like, well,
you would also just wake me up and I would
help you through that time.
Speaker 1: I'm your soon to be husband.
Speaker 2: He's like, well, what would you do if I was
the one that wanted to repeatedly be around someone who
I was emotionally cheating with? And she's like, oh, I
would hate that. I would ask you.
Speaker 1: Not to hang out with him. I would just yeah,
but I don't want to be a hypocrite. So we're like, well,
you just said that, so you are. But you just
said that, and you heard yourself say it. It didn't
even dawn on you after you say it to be
like you know what, You're right, She just says, I
don't want to be a hypocrite, so and then she
just stops talking. He yikes.
Speaker 2: Okay, So she sort of lets it slip that she
is sort of low key trying to make him break
up with her by bringing up and or putting herselfs
in situations to make out with people.
Speaker 1: And then we sort of remember her.
Speaker 2: Being like, I don't want to live with anyone, And
then we sort of remember her being like, I didn't
want you to move here. I don't really know if
I want to get married. And then we're like, what's real?
Do you have OCD that makes you have intrusive thoughts
about making out with people? Are you an alcoholic and
that's why you want to make it up people? Are
you just like not really into Josh and also feel
like you have better prospects out there, and so you
like are leading him on, but also want him to
be the one that breaks up with you, so you
don't You're not a bad person, and so you just
keep making out with people. Is I also, Josh, like,
are you picking up on what she's putting down? Which
is what I'm just saying out loud right now. When
they get to the Toilight Room bar, she says that
her phone is stressing her out, and uh so she
gives her phone to Josh and we're like, Yeah, why
is your phone stressing you out? Is it that people
keep texting you on your birthday to be like we're
going to be there soon or whatnot? That part I get,
But it's more more so that she thinks, I think
that she's going to lose her phone, so she asks
Josh to put in her pocket now at that point,
why Josh does a low key text Ryan. It's like
we changed locations, go to the Portland Bridge.
Speaker 1: He doesn't.
Speaker 2: Now Josh shows up like in a dinner jacket and
her friends show up with a baby and like Patagonia
coats no like a dinner, you know, like it's just
a He dresses wildly different than how people in Portland dress.
Ryan comes up and we meet Ryan, and we also
realize Ryan is a little bit of a blinker too.
He does that like one second blink that's a little
too long, but also like mildly interesting and also neuro
divergent maybe in some way, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
he's he has a little like one of those like
slight blink ticks.
Speaker 1: He's also in love with Katie.
Speaker 2: He can blame honey, but you won't miss that gaze.
So he also sort of reiterates things that we already
know that like is Katie's pull on a certain type
of men. He's like, she's just that whirlwind friend that
creates interesting opportunities and situations wherever she goes.
Speaker 1: I can't get enough of it.
Speaker 2: So then Josh takes Ryan out to the back and
Katie's just there standing awkwardly looking back and forth, and
Josh is.
Speaker 1: Like, why are you here?
Speaker 2: And Ryan is like, well, because I thought it'd be
a good time. She's a good time goal, it's a
good time. Gal's birthday, and I was traveling.
Speaker 1: Also, I'm a big runner, you haven't you heard, so
I ran here to the birthday. You know.
Speaker 2: Also I kind of want Ryan to be like, oh,
because your girlfriend invited me. I have the text to
prove it and the voice notes. But then Ryan says
something very interesting, and this is where the episode ends
for them, because you know, it's a cliffhanger. He says
that he talks to Katie, and you know, they talk
a lot about what she wants out of life and
what she wants in her life, which leads us to
believe Eddie the following things that Katie's like, I'll tell
you what I want Ryan, it's you. I just don't
know how to tell Josh or I tell you what
I want Ryan, It's to be in a polyamorous relationship.
Speaker 1: And I want to be in one with you and Josh.
Speaker 2: Or hey, Ryan, I want to culk Josh cock wait
cuckled Josh. It's really it's my thing, and how do
we get him on board? Like she either is going
to have Ryan break up with Josh for her, like
that is what it all sort of like feels like. Meanwhile,
I mean Katie is just there looking at both of them,
Lincoln wanting to take shots. Obviously we know what's going
to happen. It's absolute messiness and I can't wait for it.
So listen. That's the end of part one, my loves,
Please go on and listen to part two because we
have other people to talk about and we're going to
see what's going to happen with this crazy situation. All right,
my babes, thank you so much for listening. By the way,
follow me, I'm at Chris sel Farah on Instagram, on TikTok,
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and more special lives.
Speaker 1: So I'll see you there and I love you. Thank
you so much. Give this podcast five stars. And Hit
Part two. Bye,