Speaker 1: Oh, good morning, Chris. This is what would beautiful day
for another podcast recording. Huh yeah yeah. Oh that's the excitement.
That's the energy that I want.
Speaker 2: I'm Chris and I'm dead, and my eternal punishment is
to do this podcast where we interview everyone in hell
and some people not in hell.
Speaker 1: And I'm Clayton, and I didn't realize that we were
recording already. I'm I kind of wanted to start out,
if you want, maybe some like vocal warm ups, some
kind of like some improv stuff to kind of like
get us ready for the recording. Yeah, yeah, okay, all right,
let's see. Let's start out with, like I said, some
vocal warm up. It's like like, try this tongue trill thing.
Speaker 2: This great? Good? That good? All right?
Speaker 1: Now try humming. Loosen up the vocal cords. O. Now
you you've softer, softer.
Speaker 3: Good? All right?
Speaker 1: Now try some some yawning and some sighing. Relaxed the
vocal cords. Yeah, that's terrible. Here, you're you Get you awake,
try to get Oh.
Speaker 2: No, are you tired?
Speaker 4: You're sleepy?
Speaker 1: No, well, let's wake you up, all right, move next
to hop up on that chair there Chris. Okay, yeah,
all right, Now we're gonna do a trust fall fall
into my arms, Chris, go.
Speaker 2: On, go on, trust fall, trust fall, Chris, come on,
come on, all right? Three two one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I wasn't gonna catch up. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know, I knew you were.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: I know. It's point. Did I trust you in the
trust fall? I know?
Speaker 4: That's the fun. In the trust fall?
Speaker 1: You don't trust the person, you know, but it's your
un fault for trusting me.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 4: Okay, well you get back up, come on, you know
your tust yourself off? All right? Right now we're gonna
do our last one.
Speaker 2: You're ready. It's called a.
Speaker 4: Zip zop zap.
Speaker 2: No, No, it's called zip zap zop. I think, oh
I've done this one before. You didn't.
Speaker 4: No, No, this this is zip zop zap.
Speaker 2: You see.
Speaker 4: It's different than that one.
Speaker 2: How is it different? So?
Speaker 1: So first I'm just gonna say zip to you, you know,
and I'm gonna put my hands at you like this,
and then you're gonna say zop back to me, okay,
And then I'm gonna say zap back to you.
Speaker 2: You're ready?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 2: That sounds the same well it's it's okay, well we'll
see all right, it zop.
Speaker 1: That's a taser. That's a taser. You should have seen
that one coming out to the Trust Fall.
Speaker 4: You should have known.
Speaker 2: Just my old theater background kicked in and I just
went with it. Yeah, No, that's that's you know, yes
and no.
Speaker 1: But al right, So what's on the docket for today? Okay,
looking through my guest list, we've got Amelia Earhart got
to complete my secret mission from heaven?
Speaker 2: All right, what secret mission?
Speaker 4: I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: That's a secret You literally just said you got to
complete your secret mission. Just what you've been talking about?
What is?
Speaker 4: I don't know what you're talking about. That's top secret.
Speaker 2: Chris.
Speaker 1: You can't know about that secret mission. That does not exist.
That's no, there's no secret mission.
Speaker 2: Just but okay, if I was to know about it,
uh huh, what would there be to know?
Speaker 1: Okay, Chris, all right, it's been four episodes now, we've
we've been kicking around a little bit. I think I
need to tell you. I need I need to fill
you in. Okay, you can't tell anybody, all right, all right,
it's between you and me. Can get us in a
lot of trouble. All right, audience, you you you also
listen thousands of people at home, hundreds, dozens, all five
of you. Yeah, I'm sure your mom's listening. Okay, you
can't let anybody know.
Speaker 2: This, uh huh.
Speaker 4: So when we were up in Heaven, you know, at
the end of the last season, I was fine. I
was vibing.
Speaker 1: You know, it's heaven. It's fine, it's whatever. I could
just I could tell you.
Speaker 2: You were still homesick, Chris homesick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just weren't having a good time up in heaven.
You weren't getting along with the angels. Nobody liked you.
Everybody hated you. They all talked bad about you behind
your back. They didn't know they did. So I was thinking,
you know, like I gotta get Chris back to Hell,
you know, and it's it's our show. It's good morning
from Hell. You know, it's not good morning from Heaven.
So I took a plea deal, all right. I took
a bit of a plea deal. Basically, God told me
that I need to come back down here into Hell
with you, and we're basically going to do an audit
of Hell. Okay, you know, sometimes people slip through the cracks,
like literally slipped through the cracks of Earth and go
into Hell, and they might have had to have gone
there like heaven. And so we're gonna have to go
through and we're gonna have to audit everyone here in
Hell and make sure that everyone belongs down here, and.
Speaker 4: If they don't, we could we could send him back
up to Heaven.
Speaker 2: You get it? How do I apply for this audit?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, you're you're immune.
Speaker 1: You you are definitely stuck down here. I got it,
triple secured on the contract. You cannot go back how
the same way you couldn't enter, you know, five hundred
feet of a school up on Earth, you can't get it.
Speaker 4: Five thousand miles and near Heaven.
Speaker 2: All right, Okay, I have a question. Okay, how does
your brother feel about this satan? Oh?
Speaker 4: He doesn't know about it.
Speaker 1: See that's the thing, you know, no one should know
about it down here. This is our secret mission, Chris. Okay,
so if you're kind of you're narking. I don't know
about narking. I mean we're like double agents, because you know,
I'll use this to you know, get in with Heaven.
But really, I'll be doing extra espionage for Hell. So
it's it's really we're we're fucking over both teams. Okay,
it's gonna be great.
Speaker 2: H huh yeah yeah yeah, So just just keep just
keep with me.
Speaker 1: Don't tell anybody, audience at home, don't tell anybody, don't
post about it on social media.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: At Morning from Hell? Is that is that our handles mostly?
Is it that good Morning from Hell? Is it that
Morning from Hell? It's at Morning from Hell? And then
on YouTube it's good Morning from Hell. Oh, that's great
search engine optimization. Yeah, we're so easy to find. And
then on Hatreon it's good Morning from Hell. Wow, we're
all over the place. We can we cannot get our
shit straight. Okay, Well, anyways, now that you're filled in,
you you're on the know, you can stop bothering me
about it. I got a no brainer, Chris. I'm pretty
sure that this person does not belong down here. So
we're gonna start out right, we're gonna get a person
up to heaven. Hopefully by the end of this episode.
They don't know about the audit, right, I don't think
they do, and we're not gonna tell them. Okay, we're
just gonna ask some gleating questions. You know, we're still
gonna do the usual. We're gonna ask everybody. You know,
we interview everybody in Hell. But we're just gonna see,
you know, test the water, see if they actually belong
up in heaven. So I thought for our next guest,
we bring on a lovely person that probably didn't do
anything wrong in their life, Amelia Earhart.
Speaker 4: Come on in, Amelia. She's on outside right now.
Speaker 2: He's in Hell. Yeah, she's in Hell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hello, Hello, Hell, Hello, Hey, Amelia. Hey, I have
a seat right there.
Speaker 3: Who are you?
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm Clayton. I'm the younger brother of Satan. We
established this earlier in the recording, but I guess you
were here for it though.
Speaker 3: Oh, I think I recognize you. You're a couple of
those fellows who always bumping gums, dilly dally and saying
a lot of cocky ma amy but saying nothing at all. Huh.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm so sorry. Do you speak English? Because I
think there might be a language barrier here.
Speaker 3: Of course I speak English. I'm Amelia Earhart. I'm a
famed pilot and heiress of Aviation Airis And what the
hell am I doing down here in hell?
Speaker 1: Well, you've been down here for quite a while, so
I thought you'd settle in by now. I mean, I
thought you could tell me while you're in hell, Like,
we're gonna just ask you a couple of questions, like
what tell us about your life a little bit, Amelia.
Speaker 3: Well, as you know, I was a pioneer of the airways. Airways,
I guess you are too, to an extent, or so
you claim.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like we're like radio DJs, you know, kind
of on podcasts, so more or less successful. I'm not sure.
But you flew planes and stuff? From my understanding, correct.
Speaker 3: Oh did I fly planes? I was in the sky
flying Hi, I circumvented the world, you know, the whole
glow back then we knew it was round?
Speaker 2: Well, but did you circumnavigate it? Fully?
Speaker 3: Are you saying I didn't make the flight?
Speaker 2: I think that's that is what he's saying. I believe
that's what he's saying. Didn't you?
Speaker 3: And who the devil on you?
Speaker 2: I'm Chris. It's not important, it's really not. But I
know you were the first female to cross the Atlantic
in a plane, right.
Speaker 3: So they tell me. But I heard that Clancy Withers.
I heard that she was up there, Oh, nineteen thirty two,
nineteen thirty one. The Germans hadn't come yet, but they
were thinking about it. You bet your bottom dollar they
were Nancy Withers.
Speaker 2: Well, I haven't heard of her, so she's a friend
of yours.
Speaker 3: That's because I squashed her from the history books. That's
why you've never heard of her.
Speaker 4: Like, what actually happened to Clancy Withers?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Did she live a long, prosperous life.
Speaker 3: You know how they say girl power now Chapel Roane,
she's out there stomping around the stage spouting girl power
to whoever will listen. Well, it wasn't like that back then.
They bitted us against one another. And Clancy Withers, God,
damn it, she was good behind the sticks. I Amelia Airhart,
I wasn't about to take that lying down or lying
up or wherever I was at any given time. No, no, no,
And I said, I need to take Clancy, and I
need to take it down a peg. So that's why
I did. I erased her from the history books.
Speaker 1: You keep saying that, but you keep being broad about it.
Can you tell us specifically how you erased us from
the memory.
Speaker 3: Books, Clayton, that's what it is broad about. It was
the whole deal, okay. And I said, if there was
gonna be a broad about, it's gonna be me. I'm
gonna be the only broad about. And that's what happened.
Speaker 1: But what did you You're being very up to this
right now, Amelia, Just tell me what did you do
to Clancy Withers.
Speaker 3: Clancy Withers, she had one of those old Pestibo planes,
you know, the kind that you crank.
Speaker 4: Yes, of course, I'm very familiar.
Speaker 3: If you didn't crank that crank a hundred times before
you got that thing in the air, my god, it
didn't have a chance, okay. And of course her crank man,
he was crank ninety nine, and then I distracted him.
I said, look over there, so.
Speaker 4: Then they didn't get the full one hundred cranks.
Speaker 3: The crank man looked to the left, and the rest
is her story. I took that crank and I cranked
it all the way back in the other direction.
Speaker 2: That's lane didn't stand a chance.
Speaker 1: So you didn't even have one hundred cranks, even nine
ninety eight cranks, because you you negated one.
Speaker 3: It was the ninety eighth Crank, and that was a documentary.
I don't know if you saw it, but it came
out of two thousand and four, and it was trying
to expose me the ninety eighth crank. I saw that
from down here, and I said, I hope it doesn't
get distribution.
Speaker 2: I guess not.
Speaker 3: I mean it comes through sun Dance and who knows, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Ends up on two. We gets lost in the nonsense
and all the other content.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I hear, Yeah, so did her plane crash
because of the reverse crank.
Speaker 3: To this day, no one knows what happened to Clancy Wrhythms.
But I have an idea. I'd bet a Sawbucker two
that Clancy Rhythms is down here with me somewhere, waiting
to get her revenge.
Speaker 1: Okay, well that'll be another guest I have to bring on.
Not as famous as Amelia Earhart though, So going back
to your career, it seems like you had a lot
of like run ins. You know, you bumped shoulders with
a lot of like famous folks from back in the day.
Speaker 4: Can you kind of shed some light on that?
Speaker 3: Are you asking if I was in hoots with the
Nazis you're implying.
Speaker 2: No, it's not at all what I was implying, Amelia. No,
oh oh right, it's weird that you jumped there. I
mean you could you were you though?
Speaker 3: No? Of course I flew for America staspangled planes.
Speaker 2: Okay, you seem very so you couldn't see.
Speaker 3: Him against the sky. That's how they didn't see me coming.
Speaker 4: So are you saying you bombed the Nazis or no?
Speaker 3: It was a different time, literally about five years before
I flew. I was about to do my flight around
the globe, and I was doing it for God Country
and some of my old friends back in Hollywood who
was alive at the time, Frank Sinatra.
Speaker 4: Maybe shouldn't you know this, Amelia? I mean, this is
your history.
Speaker 3: Well, you know who I flew for, Carry Grant. What
a handsome man.
Speaker 2: Carry Grant.
Speaker 3: Knew him, watched all his movies, so I felt like
I knew him. Okay, I had the original parasocial relationship.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, careda Grant.
Speaker 4: Whatever happened to that relation? You didn't like ninety eighth
crank them, did you?
Speaker 3: I didn't. I up cranked him a hundred times over.
Speaker 1: Oh got a different kind of That's not what I
meant at all.
Speaker 3: Clockwise always clockwise.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, speaking of questionable relationships, did you and Charles
Lindberg ever have a thing? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, are you asking if I abducted the Lindbergh baby?
Speaker 2: Well, no, is that what you're acting.
Speaker 4: We're jumping to these things that we are not implying.
Speaker 3: Maybe I saw a baby somewhere o, all right.
Speaker 4: Okay, so possible kidnapping is what we're saying.
Speaker 1: Was there any sort of Was there an airfield by
the Lindbergh's house.
Speaker 3: It was midnight, the eve of December twelfth, nineteen thirty two.
What that baby was crying so loud? He was keeping
the whole neighborhood up. Somebody had to do something.
Speaker 2: Okay, are you neighbors?
Speaker 3: I did for a time lived next to the Lindberg
manor Okay, okay, I was stealing jet fuel from the blimp.
It was the only way. They wouldn't give fuel to
a woman in those days. They barely gave me the vote.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, that's fair, But why did you have to
take the baby? Yeah? What was the baby?
Speaker 3: How do you think we powered planes back in those days?
Speaker 2: Well, I thought of a second ago is by cranking
a hundred times. So now it's fuel that you were
clancy within.
Speaker 3: She had. She was of a different era. She had
the crank plane, as you know, but most were powered
by that little bit of lubricant that exists between the
soft cartilage and a baby's joints.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, many people.
Speaker 3: Don't know this. Now I'm starting to think maybe I
should be in hell so so, because yes we were.
We milked so many babies for their cattilage lubricant.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, what ended up happening with that baby.
Speaker 3: Well, I put him back when his cradle, whatever happened
to him after, I was not party too, and I
feel for the Lindberg family. But you know who got
the baby fuel bill passed?
Speaker 2: Who is that? Who?
Speaker 3: Franklin? Delano Roosevelt.
Speaker 2: That's ah fdr. Okay.
Speaker 3: We had many a party at the White House. Eleanor
and I dancing little Tousy, kicking up our heels. Franklin
watching us from his desk, dance on girls, dance on girls,
signing that bill, getting those baby lubricant joints right into
our planes. God, those were the days I miss them.
I've been off the skies for too long.
Speaker 2: You're not off something, though, it sounds like, yeah, it
sounds like you're definitely on something.
Speaker 3: Oh, we have lots of quayludes in hell.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well I'm glad you got a hold of some.
So back to Eleanor. I mean, sounds like you guys
are very close, very close friends.
Speaker 4: Is that right?
Speaker 3: Are you implying that there was something more going on
between us?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: No, I was just kind of asking about your friendship
with the famous person. But if you want to confess
to something, I mean, they'll free.
Speaker 3: Your goddamn right, I do. Yes, we were spies.
Speaker 2: Well spy wait what spies for?
Speaker 3: Who? We were spies for the United States Government FDR.
He flew us all around the world, solving crimes and
taking names like the Sweet Valley Twins.
Speaker 2: Who were they?
Speaker 3: Jessica and Elizabeth? The Sweet Valley High Twins. Have you
ever read the books?
Speaker 2: Is that like a Hardy Boys thing?
Speaker 3: A kind of? It was a series of novels written
by Francine Pascal, but that may have just been a
pen name. For all we know, it could have been
written by many different authors anyway, written by Withers. For
all we know Nancy Wathers. She couldn't even spell, she
couldn't write. She was illiterate. That's how she didn't know
it was a hundred cranks. She just counted one, two, three, four, five, six,
over and over again. She couldn't count any higher.
Speaker 1: I'm actually starting to feel a little bit bad for
Clancy WITHMS the more we talk about her.
Speaker 3: Don't feel bad for Clancy Withers, feel bad for Amelia Airhart,
the famed female pilot. It was supposed to second navigate
the globe. And we all know how my story ended
and tragedy.
Speaker 2: Well, can we go into that a little.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's talk about that. You got up in a
plane and with Fred Noonan, Yeah.
Speaker 2: He was your navigator.
Speaker 3: I turned to Fred, I said, Fred, how many jugs
of baby oil we got in there? And he said
all seventeen? And I said, buy.
Speaker 2: Her up seventeen jugs.
Speaker 1: I think he must have really had high infant mortality
slash kidnapping rates back then.
Speaker 2: Huh oh.
Speaker 3: Babies were crumbs, though deeply unreliable. If a baby got
itself kidnapped, that was on the baby under as far
as I'm concerned. And I said Fred, I'm ready and
what do you think? Fred said, pretend to be Fred
and tell me what you think.
Speaker 2: He said, let let's do it, Abelia.
Speaker 3: Yeah. He had a weird kind of Scandinavian accent like that. Huh.
And I said, all right, you bastard, fire up. And
then we got in that skybird. Fred had a Cadillac
of cocaine on board, and I said, Fred, don't do it.
You're gonna fly us too fast. Here hate pread with
my navigator? What what? What? Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I guess the wind was bad that day or something.
I don't know.
Speaker 1: And then, as we all know, you and Fred unfortunately
crashed and died into the ocean.
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: We survived for weeks.
Speaker 4: Oh what this is new?
Speaker 2: Where?
Speaker 4: How how did you guys survive? Where did you land?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: First, we landed the plane in the ocean, and I said, Fred,
we need to make tracks. We need to put ourselves
as far away from this plane as we can, because
remember I was an international spy.
Speaker 2: Oh but I mean so yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Said Fred, we need to fake our deaths here.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so you faked your own death.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you weren't going to just try to
go into hiding. You just did you end up on
like some tropical island or something.
Speaker 3: Or yeah, goddamn right, I did, Clayton Fred and I
we swam I don't know, sixty seventy miles wow.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: And that took us to our final intended destination was
a remote island off the South Pacific.
Speaker 4: Oh so it was just the two of you guys
deserted on an island.
Speaker 3: Then the two of us in a deck of uno.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 3: We played in no, I don't know, two three weeks.
It's reverse, reverse, reverse, The game never ended.
Speaker 2: Wow. So you're on this island. Was there anyone else
on it? Or is it just y'all or what?
Speaker 3: At first, we look for signs of life, squat zero nothing,
and that's when we found the temple, the Temple of Osiris.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I thought, Emilia, we got one of those
birds in here.
Speaker 4: Oh you know those classic birds.
Speaker 1: It brings in the ad read for the week for
the sponsored never mind. This week's episode is brought to
you by Better Help. Hey, you know what, I want
to take a moment of this episode to thank someone
special in my life, and that is my therapist. Because
they keep me mentally stable, they keep me sane, They
keep me on track, you know, because this month is
all about gratitude. And along way with my therapist that
I just thinked, there's another person that I don't think enough,
and that is myself.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 4: It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that.
Speaker 1: We are trying our best to make sense of everything
in this crazy world.
Speaker 2: Now, that's not easy.
Speaker 1: So here's a reminder to send some thanks to the
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Speaker 4: Try out better Help.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So anyways, Amelia, you were in Egypt. What was this
so cyrus thing?
Speaker 3: Like any woman of the turn of the twentieth century,
I had some experience with tomb raiding. Oh okay, so
I wasn't a complete novice here, but I said to Fred,
I said, Fred, we need to be careful. And you
know what Fred said.
Speaker 2: To me, Go ahead, Chris, it could be haunted.
Speaker 3: And he was right. Whoa That thing was full of
phantoms and spookies and any other ghosts you can imagine.
Fred says to me, all right, Emilia, I think we
go we take shelter inside this tomb. It's hotter in
that jungle. You feel like the flames of hell are
tickling out your scroties. And there's this beautiful temple, this
oasis in the middle of the dense trees, and the
monkeys are howling. The crabs are clicking, they're nipping at
our heels. And I said, Fred, all right, I can't
take it anymore. I swore I'd never rate another tomb again.
But here we are.
Speaker 4: Raiding tombs with Fred Noonan.
Speaker 3: We descend into the bowels of the temple and we
come upon a sarka a guy.
Speaker 2: A sarcopha guy. Heah, guy's plural? So did you was
it one or two sarcophagus?
Speaker 3: We come to a gus a sarcophagus.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, all right, continue yes, And.
Speaker 3: I said Fred, you know I swore to never open
another sarcophagus again. And he said, Amelia, we need to
we open the tomb. And what do you think we
see inside?
Speaker 2: Chris, go ahead, take this one.
Speaker 3: A mummy worse, five mummies whoa piled on the top
of each other, A goddamn mummy orgy? Oh my, I said, okay, Fred,
I'm not gonna hear to kink shame anybody. Of course,
clearly something will happen here, and so you know, Fred
and I we take refuge for the night. Then we
we start to hear something coming from down the hallway
in the temple. I think Fred just experiencing about of gas.
Speaker 4: Oh oh, Fred was shooting himself.
Speaker 3: God, yes, because of the crab soup we'd been dining
on earlier in the evening. Have you ever had so
super fourteen days straight?
Speaker 4: I can't say no.
Speaker 1: I think that would do a number on my veins
in body.
Speaker 3: So you can understand why. Maybe I thought it was
Fred having a little bibberty bop and his stummy there. Yeah, absolutely,
But no, I heard it again and I said, that's
that's definitely not Fred.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: I light the torch and then lo and behold there's
a mummified man staring us down.
Speaker 2: Oh, walking dead mummy.
Speaker 3: A walking corpse, wrapped in the very fibers in which
he had been embalmbed.
Speaker 4: Wow, Ben, what You're in the temple of Osius and
you're facing the mummy.
Speaker 3: So I was expecting that this mummy is going to attack,
But no, he just turned to us. He held a
finger up to where his lips would have been, and
he's God this roll.
Speaker 2: Oh he talks.
Speaker 3: He speaks English, like I think he had like Rosetta
stone or something, you know, right, yeah, like.
Speaker 2: The Rosetta stone. Got it?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 4: So then what did you do did you come that way?
Speaker 3: Well, I guess we've got to follow this mummy. And
Fred turned to me. He said, you only live once.
And I said, if I needed to abbreviate that in
a much shorter way so I didn't have to take
as much time to say it, I'd say, yolo.
Speaker 1: Wow, Oh that's news to me. A Millia Earhart invented yolo.
That's that's incredible.
Speaker 3: That's neither here nor there. So Fred and I we
take after this mummy. Uh huh no, following him down
chip tips and turns, and he's triggering booby traps and
dodging daggers and different spikes and O I felt so alive.
And that's when he took us right to the mummy's tomb.
Speaker 2: So there's another tomb.
Speaker 1: So then there was the original sarcopha guy, and then
he took you to another other tomb.
Speaker 3: He was just kind of like the mini boss.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, yeah, So what was the tomb that
he led you to?
Speaker 3: He led us to an even bigger but jeweled sarcophagus
and the mummy he wasn't strong enough to lift it
because his bones were crumbling to dusty. So Fred and
I we lift the lid off of the sarcopha. I guess,
and lo and behold the jeweled burial mask of the
Egyptian monkey God of the South Pacific.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: I know what you're thinking. Why is the Egyptian monkey
god on an island in the South Pacific.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm thinking exactly.
Speaker 3: That he was hidden there for protection. Oh so from
what Yeah, an enemy of the pharaoh to Nokta tut.
Speaker 2: I see, okay, he did have many enemies. I am
aware of that. And then so what's the physical manifestation
of this monkey?
Speaker 3: Got shod like a little like monkey corpse? Oh, like
they put like a fancy mask on him and it's
like a little monkey corpse.
Speaker 4: Did the monkey come back to life? Like?
Speaker 2: Did he talk to you and do stuff?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I was like, what are we supposed to do with this?
And the Mummy was like all shrugging, like he wanted
us to do something, and I was like, I can't
do anything with this monkey corpse. What do you think?
What do you like? You're the mummy, You're the magical rat.
And then he pointed to a stone tablet on the
wall that said at midnight when the full moon was
on the rise, the fullest moon of the year. If
the monkey's corpse was taken to the highest point on
the island, Uh huh, then the monkey God could be
brought back to life. Oh but here's the catch, fellas.
The only way that you could get to the highest
point on the island was to fly to it.
Speaker 2: Oh but your ship, I mean you're a plane.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so then what you take the tiny monkey course?
Speaker 4: How did you get it up to the highest point.
Speaker 3: I knew I had to call someone who I swore
I would never seek out. I would never Nolan Winners.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, how did you get hold of her?
Speaker 3: Remember, because I had sabotaged Clancy Within's plane, I knew
that her plane was also down somewhere in the South.
Speaker 2: Pacific, like a neighboring island.
Speaker 3: Neighboring island. So I write a message on the ZUNOCRD
and I put it in a bottle, and I say, Clancy,
I know we've had our differences in the past, and
I know that I crank back to your crank on
your plane so that it would malfunction and crash. But
there's a monkey God that needs help. And I put
the coordinates of the island on that Uno card and
I sent it. Wow, And sure enough the next day,
spot us spotter, spot us, butter Clancy had she had
been marooned on this island for three months, and she
had taught herself to count, my God for a while,
only count to six. She had all a hundred numbers
she had under her belf now and she had cranked
that crank right to one hundred, and she landed that
sky bird right in the sand.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was a momentous occasion.
Speaker 1: What character development for Clancy to learn how to count
despite all odds.
Speaker 2: So what happened?
Speaker 3: So I said, Clancy, you wait here, don't worry, You'll
be fine. The creatures of the island are very docile.
They'll take care of you. Because the plane could only
fit two passengers, and of course I needed my navigator
with me, and then in steerage we needed the monkey corpse.
Of course, yes, of course, So I said, Clancy, you
wait right here. You're gonna be just peagey perfect. No.
I bet the monkey God will have a special present
for you, Clancy. I'm sure of it.
Speaker 2: And why would she not trust you?
Speaker 4: Did you light to her? Did you like to Clancy Withers.
Speaker 3: So we waved to Clancy and we were up in
the sky. I know, I felt alive again. We get
to the top of the mountain peak and the moon
the moon, Oh, the clouds are passing over it, and
it's just about to peak to its highest point in
the sky. And Freddy put the monkey corpse on his
back and we climbed to the very last to the crest,
and I said, fred, hold that monkey corpse up. A
king is about to be reborn on this now. Oh,
something important detailer I'm leaving out here is the Monkey God.
And then this was told to us by the Mummy.
Speaker 2: Yes, yea, with.
Speaker 3: The Monkey God would grant one wish.
Speaker 4: Oh that's a pretty big details.
Speaker 3: That's a big And so as the moon passed overhead,
fred extended his arms holding the Monkey God's corpse his
bones up to it. And then the light shone down
and the Monkey God's body it started to shine, to radiate,
and then it was as if electricity flowed through the
air through the Monkey God. Unfortunately, uh, dear Fred, who
was holding the Monkey God also got some of the
effects of the blast. He will be remembered for his sacrifice.
Speaker 2: Wow. The monkey God.
Speaker 3: Wow, service to the monkey God.
Speaker 4: Yes, I did not see Fred going out that way, okay,
but it.
Speaker 3: Had to be done. And Fred knew the value of sacrifice.
And Fred collapsed to the ground, the monkey God on
top of him. And then I waited a moment and
I watched. I oh, I was peaked. And then I
just hear and I fell to my knees and I said,
I pledged myself to you, oh great monkey King, as
you should. And then that fucking bastard got into a plane. No,
and he flew off and left me stranded at the
top of that god forsaken mountain top.
Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh, son.
Speaker 3: Never trust a monkey god. And I hope he burns
in here.
Speaker 1: Wow, we will keep our eyes out. So then that's
the story of Amelia.
Speaker 4: Are are you? You died up on that mountaintop.
Speaker 3: And that's when I started rolling.
Speaker 4: Oh oh, you went down the mountain.
Speaker 2: Down the mountain.
Speaker 3: I put my hands over my heart crisscross apple sauce,
and then I took the tumble of my life and
for four days I rolled down that mountain side all
the way back to the beach.
Speaker 1: My god, this story is, this is incredible and so
much of your history that I didn't know about Amelia.
Speaker 3: This story is begotten by tragedy. Unfortunately, my dearest friend
Clancy Withans did not survive the onslaught of the terrors
of the island that night.
Speaker 4: What oh you?
Speaker 2: But you said that there were docile creatures though.
Speaker 3: So oh so I thought. But once the monkey king
awokened and his boystrous cry awakened the other inhabitants of
the island, and well then it was game on foot four.
Speaker 2: Clancy, what killed her?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: It probably mostly the giant crabs, but you never know.
Oh yeah, her body was too disfigured to identify any
She didn't have a face. But wow, she will be remembered.
Speaker 1: I don't think she will be because this is the
first time I'm hearing about her. But U wow, shut
up to Clancy Witherms.
Speaker 2: What happened to you? Is there is there a conclusion
to this story?
Speaker 3: Ameliate?
Speaker 2: I mean, did you?
Speaker 3: I keep that one close to the chest. I don't
like to reveal how I died because the legend of
Amelia Earhart lives in every single one of us, and
it's not up to me to write the end of
that story. It's up to you. I mean it is,
it's up to you, you, dear listener.
Speaker 2: All right, it's up, dear listener.
Speaker 3: Can I say one more thing?
Speaker 4: I'm sure go ahead.
Speaker 3: Never stop never stop dreaming.
Speaker 2: Never stop never stop dreaming.
Speaker 3: Wait, no, I just stumbled on my words. I didn't
mean never stop, never stop dreaming.
Speaker 1: You just never stopped dreaming. Just that, simply just never
stop dreaming. Okay, that's a whh.
Speaker 4: Those are powerful words words to die by.
Speaker 2: That's great, that's good. Uh, do you mind if we
have a moment?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, let's do a cook sidebar. Excuse us a.
Speaker 2: Million, Yes, we're going.
Speaker 3: I'll be over here.
Speaker 1: So she's completely insane, she's insane, she's I think the
crab meat probably drive her to madness. Yeah, so I think,
you know, I'm just gonna go ahead and give her
a pass.
Speaker 2: I'll let Heaven figure it out.
Speaker 4: But I think we can just send her on.
Speaker 2: I think getting rid of her would be just a
good thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's let them deal with it. You know, it's fine.
They need something.
Speaker 2: And do we want to give her a pass or
do we want to just because she did talk about
kidnapping and it's like, yeah, should we just I don't know,
what do you think?
Speaker 1: I don't want to course, you know, now that I
think of it, I don't know if she does belong
up in heaven.
Speaker 4: I think she's right at home here in Hell.
Speaker 2: I have an idea. Chris, just just fall my lead
on this.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, Hey Amelia, Oh hey, we've been so
moved by your story of the Temple of Osiris, monkey
God reawakening, Yeah, murder of Clancy Whithams, and the kidnapping
of the Linnenburg. Baby, We're gonna go ahead, and we
got you a brand new biplane.
Speaker 4: It's just like the one that you took.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's cranked up one hundred cranks and all
ready to go.
Speaker 2: We're gonna let you fly on out of here. Amelia.
Speaker 3: Oh my word, this is positively ices. This is because
I never stopped dreaming.
Speaker 1: That's right, Just like you said, never stop, never stop dreaming,
stop dreaming.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 3: Oh it's a beauty. Can I do? I should? I?
Speaker 4: You should? You really should?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 3: Fellas want to come those room for one more? Nah?
Speaker 2: No, we're good, Amelia.
Speaker 4: I think you got this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we ain't get the next ride?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but you know what, you should go continue
on soar the skies, Amelia.
Speaker 2: Never stop dreaming.
Speaker 3: The dreams never stop for a young avatrus like myself.
And you fellas know that better than anyone. You're my
best friends, right.
Speaker 1: That's right, Yes, just like Clancy, the young one hundred
and something year old Aviatrus.
Speaker 2: All right, well, we're.
Speaker 1: Gonna see you off, and we're gonna we're gonna bid
the farewell.
Speaker 4: I do, Amelia.
Speaker 3: Here I go, goggles cap and I'm ready to go.
Stop the paine.
Speaker 4: Okay, there you go.
Speaker 2: It's it's buttering up. You hear that, baby, You hear that? Injury?
You go get that monkey? God, you show him food boss.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll see you fellas later. Look to those guys,
all right, can't Chris.
Speaker 1: It's a very high chance that she's gonna slam into
the crust of the earth and die upon impact. God,
she's really picking up speed, Chris. Yeah you really did
crank that. Yeah, it was actually three hundred cranks. But
she's she's she's getting really close to the crust of
the earth. She might break through.
Speaker 2: She's gotten my speed. Hi, can you Amelia? Can you
hear us? Amelia?
Speaker 3: Are you there, I'm up about to blow through. See
you again.
Speaker 4: She's she's getting closer.
Speaker 1: All just pick up the speed of mealaad here I go.
Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa. She broke through. She's through the crust of
the Earth. Amelia, what Amelia? Where can you hear?
Speaker 4: Us?
Speaker 3: I've got it. I'm out. Oh it's so bright though,
I could barely see what what's happening? Where am I?
Speaker 2: You've you've broken through.
Speaker 1: You're you're on top of the Earth. You're you're up
on the surface. She keeps going, she's she's going to space.
Speaker 2: Chris, Yeah, yeah, you might. You want to level off.
You're you're going into the sun.
Speaker 1: You're still you're you're no, you're picking up too much altitude.
Speaker 2: You're going straight to No, you're going strength towards the sun.
Speaker 1: Amelia stop stop dream yo fu.
Speaker 4: Oh oh god, she's just crashed onto the sun.
Speaker 2: Chris. So, now we know how Amelia died. That's right.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess we can conclusively say how Amelia Earhart died.
Speaker 2: I would say pretty clear why she's down here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, clancy were there's recipes? Okay, Well that
was a hell of an episode, Thank you guys. So
much for listening. Hey, follow us on Hatreon. You know
it's a great way. She supporting is a show.
Speaker 4: It's also gives us an excuse to ship on you
and get paid to do it. It's like our shout outs,
but worse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's mean.
Speaker 4: It's gonna be so mean to watch out. We're gonna
roast you.
Speaker 1: Okay, this week we've got Alex k Alex.
Speaker 4: Hello, stop stop, they're not here.
Speaker 2: I don't sorry.
Speaker 1: You keep acting like they're on the other end of
the line. This is not a phone call. Chris Alex
is a thirty four year old, married white guy that
loves all things pro wrestling, TV, movies, and anime. They
have a great English mass tew slash Great Dane named
Olive and four cats named Lady Caitlin, Mando, Thor and
low Key got a big Disney Plus fan on her hands.
Alex is a banker. Oh, this guy is just putting
me asleep, and when asked for a embarrassing story or confession,
Alex writes, the first year I was dating my wife,
I walked into a woman's bathroom at Walmart and used it.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: I only realized my mistake when I saw my wife
laughing at me. Also, I was a theater kid in
high school. Alex, get out more, Get out more, Alex.
Not to the theater to see the newest mar or
to Walmart, like, just get out, do some things that
aren't banking.
Speaker 2: Go live, Alex, live your life.
Speaker 1: Also, the way that I read that your story, I'm
assuming this was on your first date, that you went
in and tore up the women's restroom by mistake. That
was the zestiest, most a live story that Alex had
available to us. They were never more alive in that moment.
It never get shit in that Walmart. Okay, Well, thank you, Alex.
Appreciate you supporting us on Hatreon.
Speaker 2: It really means so much that you support us and Disney.
Yeah all right.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for following us on Hatreon.
Check us out over there, check us out on social media.
We're at Morning from Hell unless it's YouTube, in which
case I think we're at Good Morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just go to good Morning from Hell dot com
and that. Thank you to the Hatreon. Thanks for listening.
Hall Clayton, welcome. At least Wilhelm's old friend, well not old,
you're not old, young friend. Horrible and are are you
old young free were old friends? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah? And you're no spring chicken yourself, Chris.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm an old goose spring chicken.
Speaker 4: You can't get out of Amelia like you were built.
Speaker 3: To mechick yourself, Chris, you can do this character? Uh uh.
I never know if it's right.
Speaker 4: It is it is. You followed your heart. You never
stopped dreaming.
Speaker 2: We'll dive more into what that was on our bonus
show for hatredon supporters while we're going to hell. But
tell us where people can find more of you social media.
You have a great podcast, tell us about it.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me on the show,
first of all, because this is one of my favorite
podcasts to do. It's so much fun. You guys make
it so much fun, So thank you. I have a
couple of different places that you can find me right now.
Of course on social media at Alice Willielms. I'm mostly
on Instagram, so that's the best place to keep in
touch and get updates from me. You can see me
on pbs so cal YouTube channel on Won't You Be
My Gamer, a show where we play video games that
are related to the fields of expertise of our different guests,
so we might play like cooking games with a chef,
or play prison games with someone who covers prison reform,
like that sort of thing.
Speaker 4: Ah, that's awesome.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a blast. And then I also make a
podcast with Jessica Asami called thirty Morbid Minutes where we
cover topics that are morbid and macabre and just still
a little bit creepy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Jessica Asami friend of the show as well, we'll having
her on down the road. You guys just did a
recent run of episodes that came out around Halloween time.
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 3: We did, so feel free to check that out Thirty
Morbid Minutes. Wherever you get your podcasts from.
Speaker 1: I'm going I'm gonna plug your book because you won't
do it yourself. Elisea is a published author and she
wrote an incredible Halloween children's novel.
Speaker 3: You want to talk about that, thanks Blaining. It's called
The Night in Halloween House, and so it is kind
of but maybe you get it and then you hang
on to it and Halloween comes back around and you say, hey,
where's that dusty old tomb? Or as Christophers to me,
we have funnier on it.
Speaker 4: So yeah, so we'll check that out.
Speaker 2: Check out yeah yeah, go check out thirty more than minutes.
It's a great show, and uh yeah, let's go talk
about why we're going to hell. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Check us out on Patreon.