WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:05.599 I'm Ali. 2 00:00:05.879 --> 00:00:08.320 I came out after twenty years of marriage and I 3 00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:09.359 have three kids. 4 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:12.359 I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came 5 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:14.960 out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage. 6 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:19.239 This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles 7 00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:20.239 and victories that. 8 00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:20.640 Come with it. 9 00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:22.920 When coming out feels like the end of the world, 10 00:00:23.320 --> 00:00:24.920 but it's really just the beginning. 11 00:00:25.640 --> 00:00:35.159 This is the Lesbian Chronicles. 12 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:36.679 I also know killos. 13 00:00:37.479 --> 00:00:39.920 Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome. 14 00:00:40.439 --> 00:00:43.640 Okay, what were you going to say before I interrupted you? Well, 15 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:45.600 what I'm going to say, I don't want to be recorded. 16 00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:49.079 Oh shit, Okay, you can tell me after the show 17 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:50.840 if you remember. 18 00:00:51.359 --> 00:00:53.200 Okay, okay, let's talk about the Lake. 19 00:00:53.359 --> 00:00:56.520 We just spent a fun blast of a weekend coming 20 00:00:56.799 --> 00:00:58.600 where Robin and I now have a handshake. 21 00:01:00.159 --> 00:01:02.679 We went into it without one, and we left with one. 22 00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:06.959 If anybody watches Penn fifteen, it's like, this is Robin 23 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:10.519 and I truly so now we have to have a 24 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:11.680 handshake every time. 25 00:01:11.719 --> 00:01:14.239 We didn't do it just now. I theme we've got 26 00:01:14.239 --> 00:01:15.959 to like lock in, we need to redo that. 27 00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:20.400 People at the Lake were like, are you guys seriously 28 00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:21.400 do we have to do this? 29 00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:24.879 Every time, like, yeah, every time we just comes out 30 00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:26.120 of our room from changing. 31 00:01:30.599 --> 00:01:32.560 I think you might be as big of a door 32 00:01:32.640 --> 00:01:37.519 as I am. Yeah, maybe more more for sure. But 33 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:38.439 that was so fun. 34 00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:41.560 It was so fun I had I was just telling 35 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:43.959 my mom I think because my mom is in town 36 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:46.879 this week, that I had so many moments of it 37 00:01:46.959 --> 00:01:49.079 was so fun and we had all these laughs, and 38 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:50.799 it was a great time, and I had so many 39 00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:53.959 moments of being so grateful for all these women in 40 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:56.719 my life. Yeah, I mean like sister friends almost. 41 00:01:56.920 --> 00:01:57.879 Yeah, it's true. 42 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:01.879 Yeah, And it was just an the reminder of the 43 00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:05.239 community of people around me and around us, and yeah, 44 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:05.640 it was. 45 00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:07.000 It was just a really fun weekend. 46 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:09.800 One thing really sweet and special about you is like 47 00:02:09.879 --> 00:02:12.240 I got there a day later than everyone else, and 48 00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:13.240 Robin made. 49 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:18.199 Me feel like she could not wait for my arrival. Really, 50 00:02:18.599 --> 00:02:21.879 I'm getting text like how much longer? What's your nay? 51 00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:24.520 Are you gonna be here? 52 00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:27.960 Even like when I lost signal on the way there, 53 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:29.400 and then when I turned my phone. 54 00:02:29.159 --> 00:02:32.800 On Robin, how much longer. 55 00:02:32.680 --> 00:02:34.199 I was ready for my bud? You know. 56 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:36.680 Yeah, we had a good time. Yeah, I had a moment. 57 00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:38.800 Do you ever are you ever partying, and you're like, 58 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:40.680 I could either I can go one of two ways 59 00:02:40.680 --> 00:02:43.560 with this. I can slow it down and be done 60 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:46.039 and probably and go to bed and be good. Or 61 00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:48.400 I can just go ahead and lock in. And I 62 00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:51.000 chose to lock in. Yes we all did, Yeah we did. 63 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:52.960 We not all of us. But oh my god, we 64 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:55.680 haven't posted the choreographed dance. Is it ever going to 65 00:02:55.759 --> 00:02:56.759 get posted? I don't know. 66 00:02:56.840 --> 00:02:59.280 We all felt so confident in it at one am, 67 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:04.400 when the next morning everyone's tune changed. 68 00:03:05.080 --> 00:03:07.120 But how about we did the shake on it that 69 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:08.080 it's getting I know. 70 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:10.919 We did the like hand top you know, you guys, we. 71 00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:13.400 Did a million takes we have to post. We did, 72 00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:15.759 and I still feel pretty good about it. It was definitely. 73 00:03:16.039 --> 00:03:19.680 Yeah, it was a bit a bit messier the next morning, 74 00:03:20.439 --> 00:03:23.080 but it was. It was so fun doing it. 75 00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:24.479 It was really, really fun. 76 00:03:25.560 --> 00:03:29.439 It's like this that particular group, it's right up there alley. 77 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:32.560 Yeah, Like there's a few that are gonna take control 78 00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:35.719 of a choreographed dance totally, and then there's a few 79 00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:39.719 us we're just gonna for it and say tell me 80 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:40.240 what to do. 81 00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:43.080 What's funny, you guys, is that there were two really 82 00:03:43.199 --> 00:03:47.960 femme girls, and then three more like Robin, Me and Melissa. 83 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:50.080 I wouldn't say mask, but I would say a little 84 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:52.840 bit more leaning. So we were like, Okay, who's going 85 00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:53.439 to be the girl? 86 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:55.319 Who's gonna be? They? 87 00:03:56.319 --> 00:03:59.159 As long as there's boy parts and girl parts. 88 00:03:58.840 --> 00:04:02.240 Were in exactly. No, it was really good. It was 89 00:04:02.280 --> 00:04:02.639 so fun. 90 00:04:02.680 --> 00:04:04.400 You really took it up a notch at the end. 91 00:04:04.479 --> 00:04:05.520 You guys gotta see this. 92 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:08.759 You're gonna be getting excited about my friend Robin and 93 00:04:09.439 --> 00:04:12.280 your slow linger Pretzel smoking. Pretzel smoking. 94 00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:13.800 Do you know that I sent it to the kids 95 00:04:13.800 --> 00:04:15.520 and they thought it was a real cigarette. I was like, 96 00:04:15.599 --> 00:04:18.079 thank god, we're clearing this up. No, it wasn't a 97 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:18.920 real cigarette. 98 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:20.399 Do you see smoke coming out? 99 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:20.879 No? 100 00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:23.519 But I got close enough that they couldn't tell. They 101 00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:27.639 were like, I thought you were really smoking. Now I'm like, God, 102 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.079 do I need a PSA? I'm not smoking. 103 00:04:30.199 --> 00:04:32.879 This isn't nicotine. This is not nicotine. This is a 104 00:04:32.920 --> 00:04:35.120 pretzel a pretzel twist. 105 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:38.800 I can't I'll try to do this pretzel smoking and 106 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:40.839 then I just eat it because I can't help it. 107 00:04:41.240 --> 00:04:43.519 You get another pretzel stick, you keep it for a while. 108 00:04:43.560 --> 00:04:45.079 I keep it for a minute because I don't want 109 00:04:45.079 --> 00:04:49.920 the carbs. But you know, I've gotten to where I 110 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:52.720 do it so much. You guys little backstory. I don't 111 00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:54.439 know what it is, but if I'm dancing and there 112 00:04:54.439 --> 00:04:57.279 are pretzels, I will be smoking the pretzels. I thought 113 00:04:57.319 --> 00:04:59.959 everyone did this as kids, Like I thought pretzel sticks 114 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.079 smoking was like a thing. 115 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:02.920 Yeah, I mean I can. 116 00:05:03.079 --> 00:05:04.920 I feel like I did it every once in a while, 117 00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:07.319 just like as a joke. But you will hang on 118 00:05:07.399 --> 00:05:10.519 to it for I commit to the bit. Yeah, I 119 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:11.399 commit to the bit. 120 00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:11.800 Yeah. 121 00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:15.519 So, but I've gotten to where now like my hands no, 122 00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:17.920 like this is smoking, Like I know what. 123 00:05:17.879 --> 00:05:20.800 It looks like. I'm really well versed at it. I 124 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:24.959 can ask it. You got to commit to the bed. 125 00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:29.360 It's very realistic. Were like, exactly, yeah, I look like 126 00:05:29.399 --> 00:05:29.759 a pro. 127 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:33.040 Okay, so I'm going to tell you the other night, 128 00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:35.839 I was hanging out with someone very special to me 129 00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:39.519 and we were doing a well actually, what's really great 130 00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:42.040 is I pulled it out this question game okay, and 131 00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:46.639 it's like but an intimacy question game. And she immediately 132 00:05:46.680 --> 00:05:48.439 was like, oh, we already like run out of things 133 00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:49.439 to talk about. 134 00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:52.319 That you have to get the questions out. I'm like, no, 135 00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:54.439 I just had this sitting here and I thought this 136 00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:57.079 would be fun, spice things up, things up a little bit. 137 00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:01.319 But so it comes with like three chunks of questions. 138 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:03.319 You can get it like really spicy, or you can 139 00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:05.920 be just like in the middle, or it's like very lacky. 140 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:08.519 So I thought I would ask you a couple just 141 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:11.399 low key ones. These are not sexual in nature at all. 142 00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:16.199 These are just normal Okay, okay, First one is if 143 00:06:16.199 --> 00:06:18.959 I took your phone right now, what would I find? 144 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:21.160 What would you be most embarrassed for me to see 145 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:21.639 on there? 146 00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:25.000 Oh? God, I don't know. I think I'm pretty good 147 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:29.759 at hiding pictures. Actually, anecdote from the lake. The first 148 00:06:29.879 --> 00:06:33.240 night we were there, Okay, someone was showing pictures to 149 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:37.000 us of someone they were seeing, and then somebody tried 150 00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:38.759 to scroll back to like look at more pictures, and 151 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:39.720 they were like whoa, whoa, whoa? 152 00:06:39.800 --> 00:06:42.120 Watch where whoa? Whoa whoa? 153 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:44.759 And I was like, do you know how to hide pictures? 154 00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:46.360 Yeah? Hidden miles or hidden it. 155 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.199 I mean occasionally forgotten to do that. And then my 156 00:06:49.319 --> 00:06:51.519 kids are like looking at something and scrolling. I'm like, 157 00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:52.600 give that back to me. 158 00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:55.000 I need actually, can you give me a tutorial because 159 00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:57.759 I haven't done that in a long time. Yeah, hiding 160 00:06:57.800 --> 00:07:00.879 the pictures and I got on there. I know it's easy, 161 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:03.360 but I need to like tutorial. But wait a minute, 162 00:07:03.399 --> 00:07:06.079 can I just ask you this, and not to incriminate anyone, 163 00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:10.680 but is it like a little bit of bad form 164 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:13.959 to like, if I really care about someone that I 165 00:07:13.959 --> 00:07:15.680 have a naked picture of, I don't know that I'm 166 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:16.680 sharing it with you guys. 167 00:07:16.680 --> 00:07:19.879 Ever, No, No, these were definitely not naked pictures. It 168 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:22.680 was just a normal picture of someone that they were 169 00:07:22.680 --> 00:07:23.720 showing to show up. 170 00:07:23.720 --> 00:07:25.240 Okay, looked like ok. 171 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:28.319 And then somebody was gonna swipe and look at other 172 00:07:28.360 --> 00:07:31.120 pictures thinking there were more of this person and they 173 00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:34.399 were like wait, wait, wait, like scrolling on my phone 174 00:07:34.680 --> 00:07:37.480 got it. And I immediately was like, if there's something 175 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:38.720 you don't want people to see. 176 00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:41.920 You hide it totally. Uh So I don't. 177 00:07:41.959 --> 00:07:44.800 I'm trying to think what you like pictures you mean 178 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:48.879 or what you're generally you would say something embarrassing you searched, 179 00:07:49.079 --> 00:07:51.720 like a rash that you have, or like a weird 180 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:52.879 itch that you have. 181 00:07:53.279 --> 00:08:01.439 A discharge thing, something that's like you had to check 182 00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:04.319 and see porn porn? Do you ever go into private 183 00:08:04.399 --> 00:08:06.519 mode and do and look at porn on your phone? 184 00:08:06.519 --> 00:08:07.279 I ever do that. 185 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:10.040 I close it out right away. I'm not leaving it 186 00:08:10.120 --> 00:08:13.439 up even in incognito. No, you close it out in 187 00:08:13.480 --> 00:08:16.879 the private mode. If I am searching something on my 188 00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:19.800 phone that I need to search in private, I'm canceling 189 00:08:19.839 --> 00:08:23.560 it because it's so easily accessible. Still, I think it's 190 00:08:23.600 --> 00:08:26.199 too easy to access things on your phone, so I don't. 191 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:27.959 I don't. I'm not keeping anything. 192 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:30.680 Okay, And also like why are we so ashamed of porn? 193 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:35.080 I don't know, it is like a thing? Yeah, probably 194 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:38.039 just because of you know, the industry itself and is 195 00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:39.360 it is it? 196 00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:42.080 Uh? I don't know. 197 00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:44.600 Or maybe it's also like if you're searching, like I 198 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:47.600 don't know, I don't. I don't do this a lot, 199 00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:51.000 but I've heard people say. 200 00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:56.720 I've heard a friend told me once that it's also 201 00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:58.720 like if you're searching. 202 00:08:58.360 --> 00:09:04.480 You don't just put PORNI you're putting whatever your kink 203 00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:08.840 is or a very specific topic fantasy and you want 204 00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:11.399 to play it out strange, And so then if. 205 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:14.039 Somebody sees that, they're like they know exactly what your 206 00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:15.960 buttons are right away. 207 00:09:16.279 --> 00:09:19.000 There's no mystery. What is it about it too? 208 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:21.720 That they can be like one thing that's like in 209 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:24.720 your mind for like maybe two years and then it's. 210 00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:25.919 Like, okay, I'm kind of over this. 211 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:27.720 I'll switch up a couple of words. 212 00:09:33.960 --> 00:09:36.600 So I think that's what's embarrassing, is like they're seeing 213 00:09:36.639 --> 00:09:37.840 this very specific thing. 214 00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:40.279 So yeah, to be clear, that's not my answer. 215 00:09:40.440 --> 00:09:45.440 So that's so Robin, your answer is poorn know what? 216 00:09:45.440 --> 00:09:46.840 What what could I find on there? 217 00:09:47.080 --> 00:09:50.440 I don't even know, Like probably maybe pictures that I 218 00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:52.799 haven't hidden or I don't I don't know. 219 00:09:53.240 --> 00:09:56.120 Okay, here's the next one. Okay, on mine, it might 220 00:09:56.200 --> 00:10:01.720 be the former. Okay, no, actually mine would probably be 221 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:04.200 pictures too, And I don't have anything in a hidden file. 222 00:10:04.759 --> 00:10:07.919 And if I see something like beautiful in a situation, 223 00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:10.039 I snap it, I take the picture. 224 00:10:10.200 --> 00:10:10.600 Yeah. 225 00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:13.320 So I'm someone who does that, and it's like very 226 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:16.840 annoying to the people that are in close park Semite in. 227 00:10:16.919 --> 00:10:21.200 Session, You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait wait that it 228 00:10:21.240 --> 00:10:22.960 looks really good right now, I'm. 229 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:26.080 Going to take this picture. Oh god, you don't mind 230 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:27.039 if I stop what I'm. 231 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:30.919 Doing and look at my phone now, dude, not like that, 232 00:10:31.240 --> 00:10:34.399 but like you know, like just like beautiful moments, not 233 00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:37.399 just women, but like in general, Like if I'm in 234 00:10:37.399 --> 00:10:40.039 a moment, I'm like, oh, man, like sure, Whight's hitting 235 00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:40.960 you perfect right now? 236 00:10:41.080 --> 00:10:41.519 Freeze. 237 00:10:41.559 --> 00:10:45.080 I probably have some embarrassing pictures like that too, of 238 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:48.080 like what is that? Nobody knows what that is except me. Yeah, 239 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:50.679 but I mean I feel like it's kind of wholesome. 240 00:10:50.720 --> 00:10:54.559 Very wholesome. Okay, Okay. The next one I'm going to 241 00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:57.120 ask you is because we've known. 242 00:10:57.000 --> 00:11:00.840 Each other a minute but not super long. Okay, so 243 00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:04.240 what would you say that you like thought about me 244 00:11:04.440 --> 00:11:06.960 when we first met? Because when Robin and I first met, 245 00:11:07.320 --> 00:11:09.759 we met at a I picked you up. Actually we weren't. 246 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:11.799 It was a friendship thing. We went to a bar 247 00:11:11.879 --> 00:11:14.039 in my neighborhood and just had dinner. 248 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:16.440 The first time we met was before that. 249 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:19.039 Oh that's right, we met at the birthday party. At 250 00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:22.559 day party, you were like someone who I was very 251 00:11:22.600 --> 00:11:24.600 excited about because I could tell you were going to 252 00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:27.559 be in our crew for sure. But what I'm wondering 253 00:11:27.639 --> 00:11:30.840 is what's like your impression of me that now that 254 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:33.360 you actually know me, you're like, Wow, that was wrong. 255 00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:38.240 It's hard to like look back, but I would say 256 00:11:38.440 --> 00:11:42.639 I didn't realize how funny you are. I mean, I 257 00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:44.960 knew you were cool, Like the first impression I got 258 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:48.559 was that you were cool and like could carry on 259 00:11:48.600 --> 00:11:51.440 a conversation with anyone. Because even the birthday party night, 260 00:11:51.480 --> 00:11:53.519 I remember chatting with you and like the group of 261 00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:56.440 people that you were standing with, but not for very long, 262 00:11:56.559 --> 00:11:58.960 so like it was very it was like surface level, 263 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:03.440 but you just were very You were outgoing okay, and 264 00:12:03.480 --> 00:12:08.000 you were curious, which that which you very much are 265 00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:10.919 like curious about people about stories. But I was like, 266 00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:14.240 in an environment where we're not like cozy and comfy 267 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:16.080 with each other, we don't know each other very well. 268 00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:18.679 Neither of us knew each other's humor or anything like that. 269 00:12:18.759 --> 00:12:21.200 During handshakes, we all have a secret hands all have 270 00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:22.080 a secret handshake. 271 00:12:22.240 --> 00:12:25.240 Yet that's not secret, not so secret. Everybody's not. 272 00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:29.360 But I would say, like I didn't necessarily think you 273 00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:33.000 weren't funny at that time, but now now that we 274 00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:35.440 know each other really well, like that's like the thing 275 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:37.799 I feel like that we connect most on is our humor. 276 00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:41.360 It's just our ability to like have a shared moment 277 00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:42.320 just with eye. 278 00:12:42.120 --> 00:12:45.120 Contact and eye contact, it's like it's so hard. Yeah, 279 00:12:45.159 --> 00:12:46.960 and just understand, have this understanding of. 280 00:12:46.919 --> 00:12:49.519 What was just funny just now that's like not really 281 00:12:49.559 --> 00:12:53.480 that funny, but it's like I can't stop with it. Yeah, 282 00:12:53.559 --> 00:12:56.159 that's interesting. I would say the same thing about you. 283 00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:01.159 I think like you have my exist act sense of humor, 284 00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:02.600 like almost to a tea. 285 00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:05.799 And it's not for everybody, No, it's not. It's definitely 286 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:06.679 not everybody. 287 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:09.240 I would say that, but I would say bigger than 288 00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:12.840 that even is that when I met you, like I 289 00:13:12.919 --> 00:13:15.679 knew your history of like where you'd been living. You 290 00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:22.120 had this like very what looked like on paper, I 291 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:26.039 don't know, choreographed like life like these three beautiful daughters, 292 00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:30.080 this husband, this, And I think I thought you were 293 00:13:30.159 --> 00:13:32.320 more mainstream. 294 00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:33.360 Is that the right word. 295 00:13:33.480 --> 00:13:36.240 I think I thought sitting there that she's just a 296 00:13:36.279 --> 00:13:40.879 sweet girl who's about to get a big eyes wide open, 297 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:44.519 as I did because I was that ye, and I 298 00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:48.759 think you surprised me with you are like so much 299 00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:52.279 more than that, Like your depth is real, like just 300 00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:55.440 a fun couple facts about Robin. She never fucking talks 301 00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:58.919 about people ever, Like you are a I never worried 302 00:13:58.960 --> 00:14:03.320 about you ever, Like you're you don't get involved in nonsense, 303 00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:06.639 and there's a lot more depth than I think I 304 00:14:06.679 --> 00:14:08.879 thought you would have coming from coming Georgia. 305 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:10.639 Caveat to that. 306 00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:12.600 I only lived there for two years, okay, so you 307 00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:14.360 didn't have time to go. I don't even like to 308 00:14:14.360 --> 00:14:17.080 claim it, Okay, I hated it for every moment. Sorry, 309 00:14:17.080 --> 00:14:19.440 if anyone listening lives in coming, But okay, if you 310 00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:21.240 can get out, get out, get out. 311 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:23.840 Get out of that. Blink twice if you need help 312 00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:24.919 me some help getting out. 313 00:14:25.799 --> 00:14:27.440 I lived in Smyrna for a long time, which is 314 00:14:27.440 --> 00:14:30.559 still the Urbs, but it's completely different. So that's kind 315 00:14:30.600 --> 00:14:33.840 of what like I claim, okay, because it was like 316 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:37.679 eight year long journey there. Okay, but yeah, I kind 317 00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:40.960 of appreciate that, like I thank you for seeing me 318 00:14:41.159 --> 00:14:42.879 in that way. And I think probably a lot of 319 00:14:42.879 --> 00:14:47.279 people initially that I met once I lived here had 320 00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:50.480 that impression. I remember our friend Jess one time, like 321 00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:52.559 after the first time meeting me, she told me this 322 00:14:52.600 --> 00:14:54.519 many months later, like she thought that I was just 323 00:14:54.600 --> 00:14:57.879 kind of this like sweet, like little southern Femali because 324 00:14:57.919 --> 00:14:59.720 the first time we all went out together I wore 325 00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:03.879 this like sleeveless turtleneck basically wait, what not turtleneck, but 326 00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:05.480 it was like all the way up on my neck 327 00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:06.600 and my hair was a lot longer. 328 00:15:06.600 --> 00:15:08.399 There's this this group picture. 329 00:15:08.279 --> 00:15:10.960 Here at your house, which was like two years ago 330 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:14.200 now where I like a lot of us actually look 331 00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:18.080 if you have much longer hair, Like, yeah, a lot 332 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:21.679 of people look different. And I was still definitely me, 333 00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:26.799 but I was very much not in my body completely 334 00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:29.440 at that point, and like my style has continued to 335 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:34.080 evolve since then. And but I and I also feel 336 00:15:34.120 --> 00:15:37.799 like when I first meet people, especially up to that 337 00:15:37.879 --> 00:15:40.919 point in my life, I was very reserved when I 338 00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:42.919 met people, and I still am a little bit of 339 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:45.799 an observer and it very initially when I meet. 340 00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:49.879 People, I guess I haven't people, I just. 341 00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:53.320 But I think it's changed, like in the last especially 342 00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:56.039 the last two years since I've been living in town 343 00:15:56.120 --> 00:15:58.799 and I have spent a lot more time in the 344 00:15:58.879 --> 00:16:02.360 queer community, and I feel so much more like myself 345 00:16:02.519 --> 00:16:05.360 right I am. I am so much more confident in 346 00:16:05.399 --> 00:16:07.879 my own self that I will just like go up 347 00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:09.519 to someone on the dance floor and look at them 348 00:16:09.559 --> 00:16:11.240 and ask them to dance. With me, like I would 349 00:16:11.320 --> 00:16:14.120 never have done that three, five, ten years ago. 350 00:16:14.120 --> 00:16:15.960 I would have been scared shitless. 351 00:16:16.039 --> 00:16:20.559 Yeah that's a bold move and yeah, and it's so 352 00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:22.600 just going back to your point. And it's funny because 353 00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:25.759 I also will a couple of times recently we'll just 354 00:16:25.799 --> 00:16:27.720 be like, I'm just a basic bitch because I love 355 00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:31.120 Taylor Swift and I have a Stanley Cup and there's 356 00:16:31.159 --> 00:16:33.679 like other things that are just very mainstream. 357 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:35.480 Which is why people are fooled, right, But. 358 00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:38.000 Like, I'm actually not No, you're none of these things. 359 00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:39.759 Like there's a lot of oh you are Taylor, well, 360 00:16:39.799 --> 00:16:42.399 I love Taylor. There are definitely basic bitch kind of 361 00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:44.240 things about me, but I'm not. Like the point is 362 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:46.360 that I'm actually not that and there is so much 363 00:16:46.360 --> 00:16:48.759 more depth And but I think it took coming out 364 00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:52.399 and living in a place where I feel comfortable to 365 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:58.519 be myself and having friends who I feel so good with, yeah, 366 00:16:58.519 --> 00:17:01.559 and so comfortable with to just be myself fully right, 367 00:17:01.720 --> 00:17:05.559 like I've always been that person. But it took just 368 00:17:05.640 --> 00:17:09.480 my environment and the people around me and knowing I 369 00:17:09.559 --> 00:17:14.000 like womenah to feel like, oh okay, I just fully 370 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:18.519 embody who I actually am and not be nervous about it, 371 00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:18.880 and I. 372 00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:21.480 Think it does change your it changes everything. 373 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:23.680 Yeah, Like you can just show up as kind of 374 00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:26.519 a battie because you're just like exactly who you are. 375 00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:29.400 It's rare now that I go anywhere where I'm nervous. 376 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:33.039 No, yes, same, And I would say that's not that 377 00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:34.039 didn't used to be the. 378 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:34.519 Case for me. 379 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:37.559 Yeah, yeah, when we would. When I lived in Smurnaw 380 00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:39.799 a long time, we had a decent community of like 381 00:17:39.880 --> 00:17:43.000 family friends, like couples mainly with little kids and stuff. 382 00:17:43.519 --> 00:17:46.519 And it was fine and it served a great purpose 383 00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:49.359 and we definitely had some good community. But I never 384 00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:51.880 went into an environment, especially when it would be like 385 00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:56.240 three or four couple friends, feeling like so good about myself. 386 00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:58.720 I always was like a little. 387 00:17:58.440 --> 00:18:02.519 Bit uncomfortable, like, yeah, comparing myself to what other women 388 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:04.920 were wearing or how they were sitting even or like 389 00:18:05.279 --> 00:18:10.480 there was always something unrest, Yes, unrest. And I mean 390 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:14.799 it's easier to identify that in hindsight, but absolutely that's 391 00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:17.559 how I carried like that. I carried that in myself 392 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:21.000 for the first thirty ish years of my life. 393 00:18:21.160 --> 00:18:24.079 Yeah, And it's hard to old habits die hard. Yeah, 394 00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:26.440 so it's like then you have to slowly unpack it. 395 00:18:26.759 --> 00:18:26.960 Yeah. 396 00:18:27.519 --> 00:18:29.880 There are moments though, and I want to cross into 397 00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:33.880 you brought up fashion, because there are moments like I 398 00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:36.880 a few years ago when my kids were home, Owen 399 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:40.000 has this, or actually I think they were Tatum's originally 400 00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:40.880 than they were Owens. 401 00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:44.039