Speaker 1: M he was Cold Cold. That was the name. He
Speaker 1: was cold Man.
Speaker 2: What's going on up there? Could be the most important
Speaker 2: event in history.
Speaker 1: Now, I haven't become the destroyer of the worlds.
Speaker 2: I said.
Speaker 3: I hope this is close to Hill is all never again.
Speaker 4: Hello and welcome to the Tales to a Dark podcast.
Speaker 4: I'm your host Bob here with my co host Brittany.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, what's up Britney.
Speaker 3: How's it going.
Speaker 2: It's going good?
Speaker 3: How are you It's going well?
Speaker 4: I wanted to like kind of start this off pretty
Speaker 4: pretty strong and thank you guys for all of the
Speaker 4: well wishes and the support and the response. We got
Speaker 4: to our interview that we did last week with the
Speaker 4: Ward Heine Ward. As you guys know if you listen
Speaker 4: to the episode, he did the Dark Collar project. He
Speaker 4: has a bunch of cool projects he's working on with
Speaker 4: another rather large podcast, and any support you guys can
Speaker 4: send his way. Let him know that we sent you guys.
Speaker 2: No, I think that's a great I had a fantastic
Speaker 2: time talking to him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it definitely was. It's interesting to kind of
Speaker 4: see the perspectives because when you kind of watch them
Speaker 4: like dark Haller or something, like, hell, you're you really
Speaker 4: early see the purview and you know, with what's being
Speaker 4: presented on screen at that moment, and to get to
Speaker 4: sit down with them kind of poke his brain a.
Speaker 2: Bit, yeah, and talk to him about the mind behind
Speaker 2: the project. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I mean, you know, not too long ago
Speaker 4: we put out Phantom Farm, and it's one of those
Speaker 4: things that if you've only ever seen Tales from the
Speaker 4: Dark through the lens of Phantom Farm, you don't really
Speaker 4: know what you're getting. And it's the same way like
Speaker 4: now if you listen to the podcast and you watch
Speaker 4: Phantom Farm, like this isn't the same fucking people that
Speaker 4: they are incapable of something this artistic.
Speaker 3: Can put together.
Speaker 2: You think that, You think that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what, it's been a couple of
Speaker 4: months I think, or maybe maybe ten months in our
Speaker 4: last Craigslist episode, and I think it's time we kind
Speaker 4: of go back in. And I was extremely excited we
Speaker 4: were able to find an old fan favorite that we're
Speaker 4: gonna sprinkle in. I hope you guys, if you guys
Speaker 4: have been listening to the show for a long time, you're
Speaker 4: gonna find this fan favorite, hopefully as funny as last
Speaker 4: time because.
Speaker 2: We lost it the last Yeah, I honestly last.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well it's one of those that I have. I've regurgitated
Speaker 4: this story and not even like a hey, you listen
Speaker 4: to my podcast and get this story. It's this is
Speaker 4: the funniest story of all time when it comes to
Speaker 4: like what can go wrong for Facebook market basement, you know,
Speaker 4: it's meetups in general on the Internet. Yeah, well, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna get a started off here.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 4: I did do some research into why, because I don't
Speaker 4: know if you know this, but you can go on
Speaker 4: Google Trends and you can see Craigslist like you can
Speaker 4: basically put it in any website and see who's searching
Speaker 4: for it, the analytics how often that's coming up. Craigslist
Speaker 4: has dropped. I mean you can literally see it from
Speaker 4: I couldn't figure out why until I did some research,
Speaker 4: but you can see it's like it's like Everest, Like
Speaker 4: you scale Everest and you just toppled down. That's what
Speaker 4: happened with Craigslist. Do you know what happened?
Speaker 2: No, I have no idea.
Speaker 4: So Craigslist pulled a Tumblr. So I'm sure you had
Speaker 4: a Tumblr blog back in your teenage years of just
Speaker 4: you know Tumblr's ninety percent like smut and just gross,
Speaker 4: you know, adult themed content.
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: Well no, but but that's true.
Speaker 4: Anyone who had Tumblr, like I had a Tumblr blog
Speaker 4: for serial killers. I think at one point in time.
Speaker 4: Don't don't ask why, don't look at it, don't.
Speaker 3: Look it up. It's probably not there anymore.
Speaker 2: But when tumblest is.
Speaker 4: But the point of bringing up Tumblr is when they
Speaker 4: kind of banned adult content, that website kind of went
Speaker 4: the way of the dinosaur.
Speaker 2: I remember that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, So what happened with Craigslist is they used
Speaker 4: to have a like a Missed Connections and then like
Speaker 4: a basically like a looking for love section of Craigslist.
Speaker 2: And I've seen some of the craziest stories come out
Speaker 2: of that too.
Speaker 4: I've got a good one here. But when they got
Speaker 4: rid of that, Craigslist kind of crashed, Which makes me
Speaker 4: wonder how much of Craigslist was like just pervert perverts
Speaker 4: and escorts bait.
Speaker 2: They got rid of miss Connections. I just saw it today.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's not missc Connections, but there I think it
Speaker 4: was a personal I think it was just Craigslist personals.
Speaker 4: There was an entire sub section here yeah, I mean
Speaker 4: right here, I'm looking at right here. It's uh yeah,
Speaker 4: this just says that the title is Let's move to
Speaker 4: Alaska M for W you know, man for woman.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's gone now.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, So maybe they brought it back because I
Speaker 2: swear I saw it, but.
Speaker 4: They may have brought it back, but it's definitely it's
Speaker 4: not ever going to reach it's it's it's former.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So this one starts off. I'm a fifty five
Speaker 4: year old man, or I should say young guy guys
Speaker 4: at fifty five of us of the show going, and
Speaker 4: I'm referring to myself as a hip young guy. Kick
Speaker 4: me in the back of the head first, fan meant
Speaker 4: if I do for seven people at the local target,
Speaker 4: kick me in the back of the head as hard
Speaker 4: as you can. I'm looking for a wonderful woman to
Speaker 4: move to Alaska with me and live off the land.
Speaker 4: Let's make our own reality. Let's make our own reality show.
Speaker 4: Come join me. There's no punctuation. I promise I can read.
Speaker 4: There's no punctuation in this. Come join me in the wilderness.
Speaker 4: Hopefully you're into freaky sex.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Now this is all one paragraph. Mind you there's no
Speaker 4: periods and there's no punctuation nothing. So anyway, back to
Speaker 4: the freaky sex call if you're interested, also must love children.
Speaker 4: Come on, girl, let's do this. Call your future hubby
Speaker 4: and think about it. Wouldn't Alaska be awesome? We build
Speaker 4: it all on our own. We f uk our brains out,
Speaker 4: not c k f uk our brains out, and have
Speaker 4: a blast and maybe some children will come out of
Speaker 4: the situation. It's a nice dream. Know what hack God
Speaker 4: has in store for my future sweetheart? Dial that number.
Speaker 2: That this is literally the last person on Earth I
Speaker 2: would ever want to have to live out of the
Speaker 2: wilderness with. Now understand like you want to you you
Speaker 2: really want to sell that dreamy, tell me how Tell
Speaker 2: me how you build a trap, Tell me how you
Speaker 2: can build a log cabin from just trees in the woods.
Speaker 2: Show me your skill set, send me pictures. Don't tell
Speaker 2: me that you just want freaky sex.
Speaker 4: That's your only requirement to respond to this ad.
Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying, if you want to sell it,
Speaker 2: at least actually have the skills to do so. It
Speaker 2: sounds like he would just die to I don't know buying,
Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying right now.
Speaker 3: I mean that's okay.
Speaker 2: I mean, who doesn't want to just go off and
Speaker 2: just live in the woods.
Speaker 3: Away from this guy? I'm bound.
Speaker 4: If this guy is anywhere, this guy, I don't think
Speaker 4: you'd be allowed with them, like two hundred feet of
Speaker 4: a school based off his eye, his approach.
Speaker 2: That's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 3: Okay. So I got another one here. I love.
Speaker 4: There's a picture of just it's looks like it says
Speaker 4: twenty eleven. It looks like a gravestone with a fire
Speaker 4: above it, and the title just says I need someone
Speaker 4: to retrieve a hidden obelisk. I mean, I'm down.
Speaker 2: This just sounds like a Skyrim mission.
Speaker 4: I mean, look, I'm down. That's all I can say
Speaker 4: is I'm down.
Speaker 2: I see that another hand touched the beacon, sign me up.
Speaker 4: So this one says this is a serious job. Five
Speaker 4: years ago, my friends and I lived in Dunbar, and
Speaker 4: before we moved out, we entombed a powerful relic in
Speaker 4: the sump pit of our basement. The relicant question is
Speaker 4: a sort of elongated trapezodial prism obelisk picture above, made
Speaker 4: of white gray marble and engraved with Gaelic and oakum
Speaker 4: Oakum scripts. It's around twelve by three by three inches
Speaker 4: and wakes approximately four kilograms. My request is twofold. First,
Speaker 4: that you would travel to the address of the house
Speaker 4: to see whether still stands or whether it has been
Speaker 4: demolished and redeveloped as the landlord told us it would be.
Speaker 4: Upon receipt of the video evidence of the demolished or
Speaker 4: reconstructed house in the surrounding area, the job will be
Speaker 4: over and to be paid twenty five dollars. If the
Speaker 4: original house still stands, your next task will be to
Speaker 4: explain the story to the current residence. Follow my directions
Speaker 4: to the basement sump pit, retreat the obelisk and arrange
Speaker 4: for its postage to Ireland. This will earn you one
Speaker 4: hundred dollars, as well as any fees incurred while shipping
Speaker 4: the relic. It is very important to myself and my
Speaker 4: friends that the obelisks be interred in Irish soil, as
Speaker 4: our country is experiencing an unstable political climate at the moment.
Speaker 4: Hopefully this will help to restore balance and safety to
Speaker 4: us all. You have a lot of faith, sir, in
Speaker 4: whatever voodoo witchcraft you in your friends, you.
Speaker 2: Can't say the Druids are they have lost their long
Speaker 2: lost treasured obelisk.
Speaker 1: I know it.
Speaker 3: Now. Look my thing with this is, why did.
Speaker 2: You play it in the basement in the first place.
Speaker 4: Well, no, it's not in the basis, it's in the sump.
Speaker 4: It's it's it's it's in the poop.
Speaker 2: Oh always actually inside of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, unless I read that wrong, why would you do that? Well,
Speaker 4: I get guarding your riches, I get it.
Speaker 2: That's a whole nother level though. And why wouldn't you
Speaker 2: retrieve it before you left?
Speaker 4: I mean you would, You would think you would, but
Speaker 4: I don't know. Now we've got to do a bit
Speaker 4: of a little little callback.
Speaker 3: Here to dB Tuber.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: Now, if you're a newer fan of Tales from the Dark,
Speaker 4: which I know a lot of you guys have been
Speaker 4: coming in from the ward interview in some of the
Speaker 4: most you know, other recent interviews we've done. But understand,
Speaker 4: dB Tuber has been cemented in our minds as one
Speaker 4: of the greatest Americans to ever do it. I mean,
Speaker 4: it's it's kid rock dB Tuber.
Speaker 3: If I'm being.
Speaker 2: Honest, they're right next to each other, so anthey should.
Speaker 3: Have Oh that's how he would have got out of jail.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he should have. Way he should have went on
Speaker 2: tour with kid Rock.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying that's most people could solve all of
Speaker 4: their problems by going on tour kid Rock. Anthony Carusio
Speaker 4: is living proof that not every Craigslist crime has to
Speaker 4: be the kind of thing you'd showed your eyes from
Speaker 4: while watching him movie. He was a former high school
Speaker 4: football star who played a little in college, but not
Speaker 4: little enough to avoid injury that saddled him with a
Speaker 4: lifelong painkiller addiction. Things spiraled out of control to the
Speaker 4: point that Crucio turned to crime for money, and that's
Speaker 4: when shit got interesting. Rather than pull the usual junkie
Speaker 4: maneuver and rob a liquor store on a whim. This
Speaker 4: is crack dot com. By the way, this is not me.
Speaker 4: This is just a retelling, he settled into eight months
Speaker 4: of Hollywood action movie worthy planning and came up with
Speaker 4: a scheme to rob an armored truck. Is this Grand
Speaker 4: theft Auto five?
Speaker 2: That's what it feels like. Did he have the bullets
Speaker 2: and board and everything?
Speaker 4: Well, speaking of which, to my gaming face out there,
Speaker 4: that GTA six trailer that just drops looking pretty good.
Speaker 4: I don't know if we're gonna get GTA six anytime soon,
Speaker 4: but no, I.
Speaker 2: Mean we've literally had GTA five since the PlayStation three.
Speaker 4: So look, it's that is rock Stars version of Skyrim.
Speaker 2: It is absolutely is.
Speaker 4: One of the key components of this heist involved posting
Speaker 4: an ad on Craigslist for ten day laborers with the
Speaker 4: odd request that the all show dressed up the exact
Speaker 4: same way. First off, stop getting jobs off Craigslist.
Speaker 2: That's that's red flag number one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, why because on that day Crucio showed up dressed
Speaker 4: in a similar get up, except his was a tear
Speaker 4: away velcrow version, like those warm up pants basketball players
Speaker 4: where when they're on the bench.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: As this color coordinated workforce stood around, confused and waiting
Speaker 4: to labor, the man who requested their presence blasted an
Speaker 4: armored truck driver in the face with pepper spray, grabbed
Speaker 4: two bags of cash, and ran off into the sunset,
Speaker 4: leaving nothing but confusion and a bunch of dudes who
Speaker 4: matched the description of the perpetrator in his wake. That
Speaker 4: that was low key genius.
Speaker 2: The fact that he did that out of his mind,
Speaker 2: blitzed out of his mind is Yeah, it's kind of impressive.
Speaker 4: If I learned anything as a child, never ever ever
Speaker 4: doubt the creativity of a drug addict.
Speaker 2: That's that's true.
Speaker 4: I guess, well this continument yeah, no, no, well that's
Speaker 4: not completely true. Crucio also left behind the particle mask
Speaker 4: he used to shield himself from the pepper spray, and that,
Speaker 4: along with the fact that the most honest homeless dude
Speaker 4: ever spotted him stashing his robbery gear during the test
Speaker 4: run and gave the police his license plate that eventually
Speaker 4: led to his capture, not before he got away in
Speaker 4: the most insanely adorable way imaginable, though. After fleeing the
Speaker 4: scene and disposing of his disguise, Crucio jumped onto a
Speaker 4: waiting inner tube and floated to freedom. He stashed a
Speaker 4: little over the half of the four hundred goddamn thousand
Speaker 4: dollars he made off with and safe then immediately made
Speaker 4: his way to Vegas with the rest. In my dream
Speaker 4: version of events, all that happened on an inner tube. Also,
Speaker 4: I don't know that you can get the vegas on
Speaker 4: a tube. I think you hit the hoover dam and
Speaker 4: it's over.
Speaker 2: Oh God, Speaking of.
Speaker 4: God, there is a phobia of like just big things,
Speaker 4: like like extremely large objects. And there is this new
Speaker 4: trend on YouTube. I don't know if you've seen this,
Speaker 4: but it's like like a VR.
Speaker 3: YouTube type experience.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And one of them was showing how big the
Speaker 4: Hoover Dam actually is. That's terrifying. I have seen it
Speaker 4: from photos, but I did not realize how big the
Speaker 4: Hoover Dam actually.
Speaker 2: Was when we went out there a couple of years ago.
Speaker 2: I mean, we didn't have time to actually go out
Speaker 2: to the Hoover Dam. We ran out of time. That
Speaker 2: was something we wanted to do. But yeah, from what
Speaker 2: I've seen from videos and stuff of the Hoover Dams,
Speaker 2: it's ginormous.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So, as mentioned earlier, he did get caught eventually, but
Speaker 4: he managed to live it up in Vegas for a bit.
Speaker 4: And to be completely honest, getting away on an enter
Speaker 4: tube for a little while is still better than getting
Speaker 4: away in a more traditional way forever. I don't agree
Speaker 4: with that, if for no other reason than having that
Speaker 4: story to tell for the rest of your life. Oh hey,
Speaker 4: On that note, Crushio is now out of prison and
Speaker 4: working as a motivational speaker, presumably giving desperate junkies the
Speaker 4: courage they need to finally take the plunge and start
Speaker 4: stealing shit.
Speaker 3: Don't go no.
Speaker 4: So another fun update. When I told this story the
Speaker 4: first time, I was notified by I think Joey Bailey,
Speaker 4: who's a longtime listener of the show, that he has
Speaker 4: a YouTube channel as well.
Speaker 2: I did not know that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so what do you got for U? From the
Speaker 4: world of Craigslist there.
Speaker 2: So the first one I have is called false advertising
Speaker 2: at its finest. I like to do work around home
Speaker 2: in my spare time. I found a guy in the
Speaker 2: gig section who was doing some renovations on a DUPLEXI
Speaker 2: own and was looking for extra hand. He knew electrical
Speaker 2: I was good with carpentry. Perfect pick up some extra
Speaker 2: cash and skills. Working a few nights. We send a
Speaker 2: few texts and he stops over to meet me. Nice
Speaker 2: enough guy. We planned a night to get started. I
Speaker 2: would usually take the bus around the city, but my
Speaker 2: mom and sister were in town, so they gave me
Speaker 2: a lift over. Don't get locked up in a basement,
Speaker 2: my sister jokes. As I hop out. He offers a
Speaker 2: beer while he breaks down the project, and from what
Speaker 2: I can tell he's doing a nice job. We talk
Speaker 2: about the work in general for a bit and kick
Speaker 2: back another beer maybe two. Time is passing and he
Speaker 2: is supposed to be paying me for my time, so
Speaker 2: I find it a little odd. But heck, I mean,
Speaker 2: if you're just chilling and drinking beers and hopefully still
Speaker 2: getting paid for your time, I guess that's yeah.
Speaker 4: But the beers are the payment at this point, that's true.
Speaker 4: Maybe the money was the friends made along the way.
Speaker 2: I don't think you'll be saying that by the end
Speaker 2: of the story. Okay, it's how I could. It's how
Speaker 2: I work around my house too, So power to you.
Speaker 2: Beers are cold keep him coming. After four or five,
Speaker 2: we finally get move in and do a couple of
Speaker 2: odd jobs that take all of thirty minutes, and he's
Speaker 2: debating on how far he thinks he wants to take it. Tonight,
Speaker 2: we have a beer while we think about it. I
Speaker 2: think I'm calling in a night another beer and a cigarette.
Speaker 2: I'll show you the rest of what I've been working on.
Speaker 2: Is what this gentleman says to to our very uh
Speaker 2: incredible worker. I'll say I was gonna say, trusting laborer
Speaker 2: trusting laborer. That'll work too, works for me as I
Speaker 2: follow him up from the table. I've lost count about
Speaker 2: how many IPAs I've put back at this point, but
Speaker 2: my vision says it's in the ten to twelve range.
Speaker 2: He holds open a door and tells me a head
Speaker 2: down in front of him into the basement. Not until
Speaker 2: this very moment have I thought twice about the course
Speaker 2: of the night. But that one word up brought it
Speaker 2: all rushing back into perspective. I'm on high alert, but
Speaker 2: he hasn't done anything egregious. So I finished the cigarette
Speaker 2: and pray I don't take a wrench to the head
Speaker 2: on my way back up. Safe Back at the table,
Speaker 2: the gentleman asks, so do you miss your girlfriend? Yeah,
Speaker 2: she's in Jersey. It's tough to see. It's tough not
Speaker 2: seeing her. Do you miss her sexually?
Speaker 4: The heck man all right, I know where this is going.
Speaker 4: I no longer feel safe. Someone call an adult.
Speaker 2: Bells are ringing, it's one in the morning. He changes
Speaker 2: the subject, But the mood has shifted. I would say
Speaker 2: the mood shifted.
Speaker 4: This only gets better if we have like some sixties
Speaker 4: porn music suddenly comes in from like a jbl or
Speaker 4: a beats pill speaker of some sort.
Speaker 2: Sensing this, he decides to go for broke. What follows
Speaker 2: is a stream of things that shall not be repeated,
Speaker 2: beginning with innuendo and easing not so gracefully into the explicit.
Speaker 3: I mean, look, shooture shot in your window. It's fine.
Speaker 2: I'm legitimately afraid now and my brain is firing. One,
Speaker 2: don't freak him out. At least I'm bigger. Two, who
Speaker 2: the hell does this? Three? Do I really have nice legs? Four?
Speaker 2: I hope there's nothing. There was nothing in those drinks.
Speaker 2: Five If he pays me, now, is this considered prostitution?
Speaker 2: I ended up saying, you got the wrong effing section
Speaker 2: of Craigliss. Buddy, He actually paid, and I ran four
Speaker 2: miles home, stopping only for Chinese food for the reason
Speaker 2: one always does. I was drunk, had some money to burn,
Speaker 2: and figured this decision couldn't be much worse than my last.
Speaker 4: And as I was running away, he yelled, Hey, what
Speaker 4: do you think about Alaska?
Speaker 2: It all makes sense, It's all connected.
Speaker 3: Do you want to make a movie? All right?
Speaker 4: So this one we got Minister Steele's gift from couples
Speaker 4: she was hired to and did marry. Craigslist gives not
Speaker 4: a single fuck about the sanctity of your marriages. For
Speaker 4: proof of that, look no further than the story of
Speaker 4: shay Rema Soveria. She was hired on Craigslist to marry
Speaker 4: a Portland couple, Kitty and Sean sunershen So and they're
Speaker 4: not gonna listen to this one. I don't have to
Speaker 4: smell us out for you, guys.
Speaker 2: We don't care about your last name.
Speaker 4: In the they were going to marry them in their
Speaker 4: backyard because they were renovating their kitchen at that time.
Speaker 4: They asked all the invited guests to bring home depot
Speaker 4: gift cards and live any other form of wedding present.
Speaker 4: My junkie sister did something similar at one point in time.
Speaker 4: Be the gift cards, That's all I'm saying, Jesus. At
Speaker 4: the end of the ceremony, the couple dishonest humans were
Speaker 4: dismayed to find that, despite inviting seventy five to one
Speaker 4: hundred people, their total hall was a measly three gift cards. Okay,
Speaker 4: don't invite people to your weddings just to get money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this was to me.
Speaker 4: There to share your special day not to give you
Speaker 4: Home Depot gift cards.
Speaker 2: You ungrateful, it really is though, that's so crappy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Did the couple just have the cheapest bunch of
Speaker 4: friends of all time? Or is foul play involved? The
Speaker 4: question got a whole lot easier to answer. On Sylvania,
Speaker 4: the woman who had just been paid to marry the
Speaker 4: people was spotted on surveillance footage using one of the
Speaker 4: stolen cards and arrested shortly thereafter. To make amends, she
Speaker 4: was ordered to pay a fifteen hundred dollars fine, restitution
Speaker 4: and a three hundred dollars fine. As this article about
Speaker 4: the crime points out, she's allowed to enter her guilty
Speaker 4: plea by mail from the comfort of her new home
Speaker 4: in Washington, further proving that Craigslist is a great place
Speaker 4: for not so clever criminals to pull off inept crimes
Speaker 4: and face little to no consequences. If anything, what she
Speaker 4: could do what she had done could best be described
Speaker 4: as a high interest loan. Also, don't roll out the
Speaker 4: possibility that the couple had really cheap friends. In that case,
Speaker 4: even if every single one of them brought a gift card,
Speaker 4: there's an excellent chance the final take wasn't going to
Speaker 4: make out to fifteen hundred dollars. Maybe they came out
Speaker 4: of head on the deal in hooray, everybody wins. I
Speaker 4: mean except for the seventy five to one hundred people
Speaker 4: who had to go to a backyard wedding in Portland orcan.
Speaker 4: Whoever wrote this is a savvy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, say, they're just tearing them down.
Speaker 4: Okay, I got one here that I would have bought
Speaker 4: this just for the record, And if anyone's out there
Speaker 4: feeling generous, you know, we do have a Patreon, maybe
Speaker 4: join that. I can also now go out and buy
Speaker 4: this Haunted nineteen eighty eight Winnebago Laicero bought the RV
Speaker 4: as a means to travel with our family. New battery,
Speaker 4: but it needs a fuel pump. Okay, well then it's
Speaker 4: not ready to go. Tires are good, but we need
Speaker 4: to be towed. Previous owner killed her husband. That's okay,
Speaker 4: literally it's tires are good, but we need to be towed.
Speaker 4: Previous owner killed her husband. All one run on sentence
Speaker 4: here and traveled on it before getting caught and imprisoned.
Speaker 4: I still had the maps and the receipts you used
Speaker 4: when we purchased it along with the Bible Passages and
Speaker 4: murder mystery novels. Gerald the husband haunts the back table
Speaker 4: and likes to have morning coffee with whoever's around.
Speaker 2: That just that just sounds like trailer park Scooby Doo.
Speaker 4: I'm super frustrated that, like, there is no price on this.
Speaker 4: I mean, you can't really put a price on Gerald,
Speaker 4: if we're being honest, all right.
Speaker 2: Is that considered slavery at that point? If you buy
Speaker 2: that win Obago?
Speaker 4: Well if okay, well the Winnebago can't be destroyed because
Speaker 4: it's like destroying a graveyard at that point. So no, okay,
Speaker 4: this one's my favorite. Originally posted in twenty seventeen, Pred's
Speaker 4: catfish thrower needed will pay. So Pred's I guess is
Speaker 4: a hockey team.
Speaker 3: I didn't. I don't follow at hockey.
Speaker 2: I do not either. I know nothing about hockey.
Speaker 4: So this says wanted catfish thrower for five sixteen or
Speaker 4: five eighteen Pred's home game background. I unwisely bet against
Speaker 4: my wise colleagues that if the Preads made it to
Speaker 4: the third round, I would throw a catfish on the ice.
Speaker 4: I have seen this before on YouTube where they throw
Speaker 4: fish on the hockey rink.
Speaker 2: Please tell me they're dead.
Speaker 4: As someone blessed to be born in America, someone explained
Speaker 4: to me why we're throwing fish on a hockey rink.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure they're dead.
Speaker 2: Okay, I was gonna say that's cruel.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So, however, when the time came around came, when the
Speaker 4: time came to become an immortal, I backed down and
Speaker 4: realized I was deathly allergic to catfish. Unwilling to make
Speaker 4: a good sorry, unwilling to make good on the bed
Speaker 4: and grab the brass ring of celebrity. I was off
Speaker 4: of a choice catfish tramp stamp or hire a catfish thrower.
Speaker 4: I chose the latter, a catfish tramp stamp. We have
Speaker 4: at least one listener in Mississippi who has a cousin
Speaker 4: that has a catfish tramp. I guarantee it, I without
Speaker 4: a shadow of a doubt. Someone in the Deep South
Speaker 4: knows someone with a cat Let me know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, instead of the what was the popular tattoos, the
Speaker 2: tribal Yeah, the flash that's like the tribal markings on
Speaker 2: your arm. It's it's just down, deep down South. It's
Speaker 2: just a bunch of tramp stamp catfishes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so qualifications sufficient strength to chuck a two pound
Speaker 4: catfish over the glass stones, large enough to stand there
Speaker 4: and fire up the crowdu for the guts have splattered
Speaker 4: all over the ice. Oh my god, bravery necessary to
Speaker 4: smuggle a slimy dead catfish saran wrap to your belly
Speaker 4: through security, willingness to be a god and go down
Speaker 4: and pred's history pay minimally, soventy five dollars. But let's discuss.
Speaker 4: I'm open to trades. You must already have a ticket.
Speaker 4: I provide the catfish and the saran wrap.
Speaker 3: That's important.
Speaker 4: Surrundra's expensive applications must be received by midnight Monday, the fifteenth,
Speaker 4: contact via text only. Bonus points awarded for video applications.
Speaker 4: I hope to god someone has these applications somewhere and
Speaker 4: like a like a Vimeo drop box situation that we.
Speaker 2: Can't go go to, like some yard sale looking through
Speaker 2: homemade VCRs and you just see this legendary moment of
Speaker 2: a catfish being thrown in a hockey rink.
Speaker 4: Yeah, one of our friends from the Great White North.
Speaker 4: Let us know why you guys are throwing fish on
Speaker 4: the ice. There has to be a story here.
Speaker 2: There has to be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, so what do you got?
Speaker 2: My youngest brother sent me a text one day he
Speaker 2: saved up seven hundred dollars and wanted a computer. I
Speaker 2: told him I know a subreddit we can go too,
Speaker 2: but no. He found a guy on Craigslist with a machine,
Speaker 2: says it's like a thousand dollars machine for six hundred dollars,
Speaker 2: and he wanted me to go with him to check
Speaker 2: it out. I can't. My schedule was packed. Guy basically
Speaker 2: does a Skype call showing the PC working, and I
Speaker 2: was able to look inside and everything looked good. It
Speaker 2: was a very high end computer with the boxes for
Speaker 2: brand new components. My little bro, who was eighteen, I
Speaker 2: told him it was good if he could snatch it,
Speaker 2: go for it. Well, about eight pm I get a
Speaker 2: Skype message from the Craigslist seller. I got your brother.
Speaker 2: I freeze, blood runs cold, and for a solid twenty
Speaker 2: seconds that felt like hours, I start running through how
Speaker 2: I'm gonna find this mother effort and murder him with
Speaker 2: my bare hands for threatening to hurt my baby brother.
Speaker 2: Full John Wick.
Speaker 3: At that point, I do love that he'd let him know, though, like, hey,
Speaker 3: I've got him.
Speaker 2: I got your brother. Finally, he finished the signing a
Speaker 2: second message. He wanted to meet in the Walmart parking lot.
Speaker 2: We met up. I got out to shake his hand,
Speaker 2: and he just fainted. He's sitting in my suv. He
Speaker 2: woke up once and just passed right back out. So
Speaker 2: what yup? He passed out? So this guy gets there,
Speaker 2: He gets out of his car and instantly he sees
Speaker 2: why his brother basically shit his pants. The dude that
Speaker 2: steps out of the suv is like nine foot tall, exaggerating,
Speaker 2: he was like seven foot and some change, and he
Speaker 2: was so jazz. I think he could beat up Gaston from.
Speaker 3: Beauty and the Beast checks out.
Speaker 2: I'm a little less paranoid than my brother. About then
Speaker 2: my brother, so I hold my hand out for a shake.
Speaker 2: We do so, and he puts a giant hand on
Speaker 2: my shoulder and points to the suv. I can see
Speaker 2: my little brother sitting in the far back seat with
Speaker 2: his knees to his chest like a puppy during a thunderstorm.
Speaker 2: I chat with a guy. He literally just tried to
Speaker 2: meet my brother to sell a computer, but he actually fainted,
Speaker 2: an actual terror. I scoop him up, put him in
Speaker 2: the back seat to rest, and I think they buy
Speaker 2: the PC. But yeah, he was a super chill guy
Speaker 2: and it was the first time this guy apparently ever
Speaker 2: had someone pass out out of fear of seeing him.
Speaker 2: I immediately thought of you when I read that.
Speaker 4: There have been a few late night marketplace in Craigslist meetups.
Speaker 2: Where they probably would have passed out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was some panic on their side, and I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, hey, how's it going. Here's a computer
Speaker 4: like gotta.
Speaker 2: Speak that actually might have been you.
Speaker 4: Yeah you, I don't think so. But speaking of computers
Speaker 4: out there, guys, I'm hearing some rumblings about some some
Speaker 4: RTX fifty series cards that it's supposed to coming out sometime.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna guess spreading twenty twenty five is my guess.
Speaker 1: What.
Speaker 4: Let let me know, nerds out there, what do we think?
Speaker 4: Are we skipping the fifty series do we? Is it
Speaker 4: gonna be overpriced? Is this a thirty series situation?
Speaker 3: Where?
Speaker 2: See that's my issue, Like it feels like every time
Speaker 2: they came out with a new one the forty series,
Speaker 2: like it did have a lot of hype and it
Speaker 2: did have like good spec numbers before it was released. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it just the games aren't caught up to them.
Speaker 2: I just I mean, like with balders Gate, that's like
Speaker 2: the first thing I thought of that came out recently. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but even then, like the games just aren't formatted for
Speaker 2: this new technology. So I guess we'll see next year
Speaker 2: what it looks like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, we'll see. Like I said, I I've heard
Speaker 4: some early rumblings, some nombers. They're saying I think January
Speaker 4: or something of twenty twenty five when they're supposed to drop.
Speaker 4: But it's it's tech. So with the GPU shortage we
Speaker 4: saw during you know, the Big Sea, and then all
Speaker 4: the other processor shortages that have happened, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know if they'll be available at all.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna guess they're gonna drop, and it's gonna be
Speaker 4: like like an inflated shortage where they're gonna say there's
Speaker 4: fifty in stock, but they only ship ten, and it's.
Speaker 3: Gonna be a whole problem.
Speaker 2: We'll see.
Speaker 4: Okay, So this next one, the title is Funky Lawn
Speaker 4: Sex just kidding. It's a yard sale.
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ. They got half.
Speaker 3: They got, they got our attention.
Speaker 4: Ah, spring and Georgia. The weather is infuriatingly unpredictable. Answer
Speaker 4: preparing their assaults in our kitchen, and Paulin has us
Speaker 4: by the nads. So we're having us ourselves a yard sale?
Speaker 4: Or really, Mom is having a yard sale and I
Speaker 4: get to write the Craigslist ad. They used to let
Speaker 4: me make signs, but I kept zoning out and running
Speaker 4: yard start by accident and wasting all their poster board. Seriously,
Speaker 4: Mom has an entire storage building primarily allocated just for
Speaker 4: all the crap she doesn't need, refuses to get rid
Speaker 4: of or if she thinks she can get a quarter
Speaker 4: for it. And that crap is what has your name
Speaker 4: on it?
Speaker 2: That's the South, Yeah it is. I mean I'm sold.
Speaker 4: Just think our stuff it could be your stuff, and
Speaker 4: it's good stuff. It's great stuff. It's stuff that you need.
Speaker 4: Here's what you need to know. Date this Saturday, location
Speaker 4: my Mom's house. Time eight to three pm. How will
Speaker 4: the weather be a maze?
Speaker 3: Balls? Is there plenty of parking? Sure?
Speaker 4: Can we drive on the grass? Yes, don't tell my dad?
Speaker 4: Are you nice?
Speaker 3: Usually? Do you like dinosaurs? Yes?
Speaker 4: Do you have any Loretta Lynn albums?
Speaker 3: Unlikely?
Speaker 4: Are there dog turds in the yard. There shouldn't be.
Speaker 4: But if there are, blame the neighbors, not my queen.
Speaker 4: Are your kids going to be outside sneaking back inside
Speaker 4: all their stuff you're trying to sell? Probably come early?
Speaker 4: What we got goodies, loot swag prize. This is fabulous,
Speaker 4: fabulous treasures. Really though I've only seen most of her
Speaker 4: crap in neon sticker covered mountains, And I'm still not
Speaker 4: done tagging all my stuff that's been piled up in
Speaker 4: my office forever, because I just spent the last three
Speaker 4: hours jumping on a trampoline and arguing on the internet
Speaker 4: and bailing my son out in Minecraft. Mom was supposed
Speaker 4: to send me a list of stuff that she forgot,
Speaker 4: so based on thirty years of yard sale experience, you
Speaker 4: can expect awesome stuff like stuff, bigger stuff, kids stuff,
Speaker 4: baby stuff, things, pieces of things. She's all about that
Speaker 4: ten cent box, doodads, kitchen stuff, ugly stuff, toys of
Speaker 4: varying quality, some even with batteries, at least one we eater,
Speaker 4: chainsaw or similar yard appliants. A basket of partially used
Speaker 4: soap and hygiene products, some likely with glitter, breakable things,
Speaker 4: fancy things leftover avon. It's the South, of course, there's yeah,
Speaker 4: VHS tapes, trashy romance novels, probably some Harry Potter books too.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, wait no, no, no, Before you keep going,
Speaker 2: I have to interject. Did you did your mom or
Speaker 2: anyone that you knew, any older female in your family,
Speaker 2: did you did they read the trashy romance novels? Because
Speaker 2: my Mammal she literally had like a black market like
Speaker 2: setup going on. Did I ever tell this story?
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 4: But but but if you're going to disrespect Fabia in
Speaker 4: my presence, we're gonna have a problem.
Speaker 3: I'm we don't do that.
Speaker 2: Okay. So Mammal had so she I've told you about
Speaker 2: the trailer that she had the beach, and so she
Speaker 2: had this group of old ladies that she had the beach.
Speaker 2: She would try to go. I'd say like every three
Speaker 2: months she would try to go down to the beach
Speaker 2: and down to Dirty Myrtle and she would pack her
Speaker 2: normal stuff, her little York key, and she would bring
Speaker 2: like a couple big boxes of all these romance and
Speaker 2: the three to four women she had in this group,
Speaker 2: they would trade with each other. They would cycle through
Speaker 2: all these trashy romance I don't ever think I even
Speaker 2: saw her by them like they would literally just I don't.
Speaker 2: They appeared they like just pulled it out of thin
Speaker 2: air and had these boxes and boxes filled of those
Speaker 2: trashy romance novels, and that was all she read. And
Speaker 2: every single cover had fabio and like a different he
Speaker 2: was riding a horse shirtless in some of them he
Speaker 2: had gone with the wind poster and some of them,
Speaker 2: I mean it was it was crazy how obsessed she
Speaker 2: was with them.
Speaker 4: She's a woman of high class and culture. That's what's
Speaker 4: what you're telling the audience. So anyway, they also have probably, sorry,
Speaker 4: something that looks like a boob that isn't actually a boob.
Speaker 4: Things decorated with are having to do with cats, craps
Speaker 4: she cleaned out of my brother's old room, sorry Bud,
Speaker 4: Christmas stuff, chairs, kinky boots. Probably something I'm forgetting that
Speaker 4: Dab will remind me of about noon tomorrow. School supplies,
Speaker 4: weird movie soundtracks on CD, your mom, napkin rings that
Speaker 4: look like fish.
Speaker 1: Edit.
Speaker 4: So it turns out my mom's at me a list
Speaker 4: like four days ago, and I forgot. We also have
Speaker 4: a motorcycle lift, and it's a bunch of actual stuff
Speaker 4: that they have. Oh also, we have a limited number
Speaker 4: of boy Scout discount cards for sale for five dollars.
Speaker 4: Each proceeds helps the local Scouts looking for something else.
Speaker 4: She's probably got three of them somewhere. So basically we
Speaker 4: have a smortish board of stuff you'd expected a yard sale,
Speaker 4: except hers is better than everyone else's, which is why.
Speaker 3: You have to come.
Speaker 2: I mean the confidence.
Speaker 4: Please note the following. Though the cement pig is not
Speaker 4: for sale. Ass load is a real unit of our
Speaker 4: metric system. There will be no actual or simulated sex
Speaker 4: at the yard sale. Greenham bars for sale are a possibility, though,
Speaker 4: or bras.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: Most of the stuff is my moms are under her care.
Speaker 4: I don't know if it works or she'll take less.
Speaker 3: Ask mom.
Speaker 4: She's an I leady with bangs and probably a fanny pack.
Speaker 4: I have small children and work far too much, so
Speaker 4: you see, if you see someone looking like an exhausted
Speaker 4: dumpster fire stagging around a gym clothes authoritatively, that's probably me.
Speaker 4: Don't talk words to me before noon. I'm sold. I
Speaker 4: have to go to this guy's next yard sale.
Speaker 2: Choice, got a lot of spunk in them, I will say.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh, speaking of completely unrelated note like just weird news
Speaker 4: and exciting nerd stuff, Dune Part two comes.
Speaker 3: Out in March.
Speaker 2: What Dune Part two?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've never watched Dune Part one?
Speaker 2: No, I haven't either.
Speaker 3: I hear good things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll have to watch it and go and see.
Speaker 2: If you guys are Doom fans, let us know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let us know if you're excited for Dune part two,
Speaker 4: and also let me know what Dune Part one was about.
Speaker 2: Please just give us a synopsis, please?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay, what do you got?
Speaker 2: Okay? So the last one I have is a haunted
Speaker 2: tie puppet.
Speaker 3: I have to have it.
Speaker 2: My wife and I recently went to its high Land
Speaker 2: and found this puppet in a night markt outside of bang.
Speaker 2: It was that the only item not actually inside the
Speaker 2: actual stall the vendor had. We inquired about it, and
Speaker 2: they immediately offered it to us at less than half
Speaker 2: the listed price, so we happily purchased it. Since then,
Speaker 2: a series of events have unfolded that we at first
Speaker 2: thought was just bad luck, but they have been escalating.
Speaker 2: They include getting trapped in an elevator. Plants we placed
Speaker 2: near the puppet dying, and recently our house has become
Speaker 2: infested with hornets centered around the area where we keep
Speaker 2: the puppet. We've consulted a psychic and at the first
Speaker 2: mention of the puppet, they shivered and said it's evil.
Speaker 2: So now it's time for the puppet's journey to continue,
Speaker 2: preferably far away from us. The psychic said a transaction
Speaker 2: had to take place to make it. Basically, any other
Speaker 2: any offer, and you can have this little bundle of
Speaker 2: ill will and evil intention a lovingly crafted tie. Annabelle,
Speaker 2: please take this puppet.
Speaker 3: I'll take it right now.
Speaker 2: No, you will not.
Speaker 4: There's no reason that that's not in my life. Okay,
Speaker 4: so now we have to do a little of a
Speaker 4: little bit of a callback to some og tails from
Speaker 4: the dark Craigslist days.
Speaker 2: All right, let me hear it.
Speaker 4: My brother is fond of using Craigslist to find good
Speaker 4: electronic deals. The latest iPhone five was out at the time,
Speaker 4: and this dude in Akron, Ohio was selling it for
Speaker 4: thirty percent of the retail price. Sounded too good to
Speaker 4: be true, but my brother contacted the seller. Anyways, He
Speaker 4: stated that he got them for free and wanted to
Speaker 4: sell them off because he needed the money. He asked
Speaker 4: my brother to meet up with him at the local
Speaker 4: frozen custard chop at ten pm. No one ever meet
Speaker 4: anyone in Akron, Ohio past dark. I cannot stress this
Speaker 4: and not no dear guy out of Akront and just
Speaker 4: in general.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't go there if you've never taken
Speaker 2: me there either.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, anyway, my brother showed up. After noticing the vacant
Speaker 4: lot in pure darkness, my brother drove off. The seller
Speaker 4: called my brother instantly and stated that he saw my
Speaker 4: brother drive drive by, but needed my brother to enter
Speaker 4: the lot and that's where the trade would be made.
Speaker 4: My brother drove back. Don't do that, listen to your
Speaker 4: inner monologue. In this time, he could see the headlights
Speaker 4: on the seller's car cascading across the vacant parking lot.
Speaker 4: My brother called him back and stated that it was
Speaker 4: too dark and he doesn't feel comfortable. After a bit
Speaker 4: of talking, they agreed to meet up to the closest McDonald's.
Speaker 4: My brother went there as fast as he could and
Speaker 4: entered the McDonald's. My brother called the seller and told
Speaker 4: him to come inside to do the trade. The seller
Speaker 4: told my brother to meet up at the back parking
Speaker 4: lot of McDonald's. At this point, my brother stated that
Speaker 4: he was no longer interested because it seemed like the
Speaker 4: seller had other agendas. Do you think After ordering some food,
Speaker 4: my brother and my little cousin left McDonald's and proceeded
Speaker 4: to leave their car. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I proceeded
Speaker 4: to their car out of nowhere. The dude in a
Speaker 4: black mask on shrew sorry. The dude with a black
Speaker 4: mask and strangles my little cousin and shout it at
Speaker 4: my brother, give me all your money or he dies.
Speaker 4: That you traumatized this young man for life.
Speaker 2: Oh God. Two years later and we're still talking about
Speaker 2: trauma went through.
Speaker 4: My little cousin cried, quick, give him all your money.
Speaker 4: I don't want to die. My brother left my little
Speaker 4: cousin and bolted back inside the McDonald's. Again, for those
Speaker 4: in the back who didn't hear what I just said,
Speaker 4: my brother left my little cousin being strangled by these
Speaker 4: strange man and bolted inside the McDonald's. My brother called
Speaker 4: nine one one and the employees locked all the doors.
Speaker 4: My little cousin was let off and he stayed by
Speaker 4: the door McDonald's until the cops showed up. Seemed kind
Speaker 4: of messed up to leave a young child outside alone,
Speaker 4: but everyone was afraid of the gunman hiding and infiltrating
Speaker 4: the place. My family stopped using Craigslist after that.
Speaker 2: I feel like that was a reiteration of the original.
Speaker 2: And the reason why I say this is because in
Speaker 2: the original I do remember this, the kid was crying
Speaker 2: and screaming at the door and saying, I don't want
Speaker 2: to die, let me in. And the fact that the
Speaker 2: band let go. It's not even like it's not worth
Speaker 2: robbing this man anymore. It's that I can't believe that
Speaker 2: I'm not the one who just did the most traumatic
Speaker 2: like damage to this kid's psyche.
Speaker 4: When a robber who's strangling a child is like, Okay,
Speaker 4: this is too fucked up and just lets it go,
Speaker 4: you have to re align who you are as a
Speaker 4: human being.
Speaker 2: Your moral compass is all kinds of fucked well.
Speaker 4: You don't have a moral compass at that point, No,
Speaker 4: like your instincts, your survival instincts kicked in. He's like,
Speaker 4: you know what, Victorian ages, this kid is gonna die
Speaker 4: of smallpox. It's any it's fine, just let him go.
Speaker 4: That's fucking insane, that poor kid. Okay, I got I
Speaker 4: got a few others.
Speaker 1: Here.
Speaker 4: A Kansas City family bought a house on Craigslist and
Speaker 4: we're asked to wire the money to pay for it.
Speaker 4: The person selling the house told them the front door
Speaker 4: was unlocked and they could just go in and then
Speaker 4: send a text message to them telling the change, telling
Speaker 4: them to change the locks asap. Weird, right, Two days later,
Speaker 4: the police showed up at the door with the real
Speaker 4: owner asking them to leave immediately.
Speaker 2: Wait what so this.
Speaker 4: Family bought a house on Craigslist kind of side unseen.
Speaker 4: Oh god, wired the seller the money. The seller said, hey,
Speaker 4: the front door's unlocked, just when you get there, change
Speaker 4: the locks right away. So they did that. Two days later,
Speaker 4: the real owner shows up with the fucking cops and says,
Speaker 4: get the fuck out.
Speaker 3: Of my house.
Speaker 2: That's crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, never send a deposit for anything online.
Speaker 2: Just don't that. That is the best rule of thumb.
Speaker 2: Don't don't, just don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Here we have Reddit user Vin Bade sold a juicer
Speaker 4: on Craigslist and delivered it to the buyer's house. The
Speaker 4: next he noticed there was a desk on sale that
Speaker 4: he just wanted from the guy who just bought the Juicer.
Speaker 4: The following day, the rims for his exact car, making
Speaker 4: model wear on sell from the same guy. The Juicer
Speaker 4: buyer was posting ads specifically for ven Bade to respond,
Speaker 4: we just come over to hang out. That's sad.
Speaker 2: That is very sad.
Speaker 4: This one's not as sad. A hairdresser who goes by
Speaker 4: the name of Freddy advertises her haircuts and styling services
Speaker 4: on Craigslist out of her New Jersey apartment. She had
Speaker 4: a woman over for a haircut and the client said
Speaker 4: she wasn't happy with the haircut, so said Craigslist's hairdresser
Speaker 4: sprayed her with pepper spray and said, get the fuck
Speaker 4: out of my apartment. I understand, saying.
Speaker 2: So many there's so many levels of illegal.
Speaker 4: I gots okay, I understand. You know, the customer's not
Speaker 4: always right.
Speaker 2: We don't pepper spray them though.
Speaker 4: I mean, we don't know how she said I don't
Speaker 4: like my hair. She's like, hey, this looks like a
Speaker 4: fucking toddler did this. You should kill yourself and you're
Speaker 4: gonna come into my house. Off my brankslist ad you're right,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna pepper spray you.
Speaker 2: I'm going I'm going on the other side. You're right,
Speaker 2: let's just start normalizing pepper spraying.
Speaker 3: Karen's Yeah, okay.
Speaker 4: We had another Reddit user who gave away a free
Speaker 4: couch to woman who says she could pay them to
Speaker 4: carry it upstairs. The woman watched as they carried it
Speaker 4: up and when they asked for a payment, she said,
Speaker 4: do you like roosters? Instead of money? She gave them
Speaker 4: probably the creepiest carved wooden rooster, and then ran back inside.
Speaker 2: I mean, she didn't specify what she was gonna pay you.
Speaker 4: With, So if you don't say, my rate is X
Speaker 4: amount of US dollars per hour, don't be shocked when
Speaker 4: you get paid in wooden roosters.
Speaker 2: It's better than It's better than our guy who went
Speaker 2: and tried to work as a carpenter.
Speaker 4: Yeah. In other news, Reddit user the dude abides one
Speaker 4: fifty seven's brother posted a fake ab with his name
Speaker 4: and number, saying he had a dozen fighting gerbils for sale.
Speaker 4: He said the inquiries lasted for weeks and he was
Speaker 4: quite impressed about the number of people who resorted to
Speaker 4: Craigslist for seeking out gladiator like Gerbils.
Speaker 2: That just sounds cruel.
Speaker 4: Yeah, eh, I don't know about that one. Okay, this one.
Speaker 4: I think I've told this one before, but the title
Speaker 4: always gets me. Man kills prostitute and he's acquitted because
Speaker 4: he was recovering stolen property. What when you hire a
Speaker 4: woman on Craigslist to the tune of one hundred and
Speaker 4: fifty per hour do you expect to get sex in return?
Speaker 4: Internet super creep Ezekiel Gilbert certainly did when twenty three
Speaker 4: year old Leonora Ivy Frago arrived at his door. When
Speaker 4: he found out sex wasn't part of the deal, he
Speaker 4: became enraged and demanded his money back. Frego refused to
Speaker 4: issue a refund and ran outside to a waiting vehicle.
Speaker 4: Her driver, Christopher Perkins, confront of the angry sex hound
Speaker 4: When he stormed out, Frego jumped in the car. When
Speaker 4: Perkins tried to speed away, Gilbert fired four shots into
Speaker 4: the car, and sadly, the young woman was killed in
Speaker 4: the attack. Perkins live, though, and with an eyewitness to
Speaker 4: the crime ready and able to talk, getting Gilbert shipped
Speaker 4: off to prison would be no problem at all, except
Speaker 4: for one thing. The crime happened in Texas. Oh god,
Speaker 4: that's to tell the listeners are like, Okay, I didn't
Speaker 4: know how this is gonna work.
Speaker 3: Now I know how this is gonna work.
Speaker 2: Oh God.
Speaker 4: The funny thing about that batshit insane state is if
Speaker 4: you see a crime about to happen and it involves
Speaker 4: your property, you're pretty much in the clear to kill
Speaker 4: a person to prevent the crime from happening. I do
Speaker 4: not know that that's true. That's not legal advice. Texas listeners.
Speaker 4: Don't kill someone if they rip you off. Do not
Speaker 4: call your local sheriff's office beforehand.
Speaker 3: I'm reading this.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, not beforehand. Just call them. Not beforehand. You
Speaker 2: made that sound like before you actually go and kill someone.
Speaker 3: That's what I meant.
Speaker 2: No, God, no, you don't.
Speaker 4: If you think that's an exaggeration. This case should be
Speaker 4: all the proof to the contrary you could ever need,
Speaker 4: because Gilbert was acquitted on the grounds that he was, say,
Speaker 4: defending his property from being stolen. The law that allowed
Speaker 4: us to happen gives Texans the legal right to protect
Speaker 4: themselves with deadly force to prevent a whole array of crimes,
Speaker 4: including arson, burglary, and any crime however, minor that falls
Speaker 4: under the insanely huge umbrella of criminal mischief during the nighttime.
Speaker 4: I just I don't I read stuff like this, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, you know what, that's fine. People exist to
Speaker 4: just do terrible things. I have a few funny ads
Speaker 4: before we go. I know it's not quite an hour
Speaker 4: long episode, but you know, the ward interview took a
Speaker 4: lot out of us. First and foremost, he was a
Speaker 4: great guest to get on, but that was that was
Speaker 4: That was a tough episode to get through because I
Speaker 4: had so many questions. And I have this problem ever
Speaker 4: time I have a guest on where I don't want
Speaker 4: to geek out and like super fan my way into
Speaker 4: like what did the house smell like with the Bears?
Speaker 3: Did it smell?
Speaker 2: That's not even like that's like put put put the
Speaker 2: lotion on his skin.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, and I have to be yeah, because
Speaker 4: again I want to be in the moment. But anyway,
Speaker 4: this person was selling their grandmother's teeth. That just says,
Speaker 4: my grandma's teeth two hundred dollars in Lewisville for sale,
Speaker 4: My late grandmother's teeth. They're in decent condition. I'm kind
Speaker 4: of sentimentally attached email if you're interested or just want
Speaker 4: more info, I know what I have.
Speaker 3: Okay, then we have.
Speaker 4: Their vantage, so their vintage. Oh my god, so this
Speaker 4: one is definitely hilarious. I know I've told this one
Speaker 4: before and I can't. I just I can't not share
Speaker 4: this again. It says jo on rails.
Speaker 2: Is the title jo on Rails?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Do you know what jo stands for on the internet? No,
Speaker 4: go ahead, keep it that way. I want an age
Speaker 4: twenty five to seventy year old guide to come over
Speaker 4: and jo in my model train room. Mutual touching and stuff,
Speaker 4: but nothing more than that. I'm not gay. Thank you
Speaker 4: for letting us know. Oh oh, it's all h os scale.
Speaker 4: Then after you finish, you can stomp around and kick
Speaker 4: the trains and buildings like a monster. Don't break them though,
Speaker 4: they're my sons. We can do this until four am,
Speaker 4: or until we get tired. Also, I have lots of
Speaker 4: imitation crab meat my freezer, and I need to get
Speaker 4: rid of it so you can have a bunch when
Speaker 4: you leave. It's all perfectly good. We just got too much.
Speaker 4: Let that sink in. I've never once seen a model train,
Speaker 4: and like you, know what it's done. Nothing gets my
Speaker 4: gears going, Like see those little mechanical wheels barrowing down
Speaker 4: the track.
Speaker 2: It's the imitation crab.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's what's doing it to them.
Speaker 2: Don't you remember in Game of Thrones?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: Hang on a second, Hang on a Seconday.
Speaker 2: The crab ring goons. Wait a second, not their crab.
Speaker 4: I just what is it about craigslist.
Speaker 2: That the succulate Chinese meal?
Speaker 3: Just what is it about that.
Speaker 2: Just brings the absolute like crustaceans of the entire humanity?
Speaker 4: Well, speaking anyway about Game of Thrones, House the Dragon
Speaker 4: season two comes out in June.
Speaker 2: I am excited about that. But the first season was
Speaker 2: just so dark.
Speaker 4: It was dark, and it was slow, it was building up.
Speaker 4: I just I want to see more dragons, more death.
Speaker 2: Just more everything. And I swear to God if they
Speaker 2: don't turn on a light to film this freaking season.
Speaker 4: But we could afford back lights and Phantom Farm. Don't
Speaker 4: tell me that HBO studios can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had literally had to watch it and pitch
Speaker 2: black and it still was not bright enough.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Okay, so this one just says the misconnection that's better
Speaker 4: left missed to the beautiful lady who saw me pooping? Anyway,
Speaker 4: me taking a huge poop in the fifteen pee pizza bathroom,
Speaker 4: you drunk, beautiful discovered that I forgot to lock the
Speaker 4: door in my haste. Look, I know it must have
Speaker 4: been awkward for you to see me in that state,
Speaker 4: and especially since it didn't seem to bother me that
Speaker 4: you walked in. We made eye contact for a brief moment.
Speaker 4: You have the most beautiful brown eyes. No pun intended.
Speaker 4: I said, hey, beautiful lady, right as you slammed the door,
Speaker 4: and I meant it. Everyone poops, And now that you
Speaker 4: see me pooping, I feel like we've already moved on
Speaker 4: from Oh my god, there's just levels to this.
Speaker 2: Please please stop anyway, Now.
Speaker 4: You've already seen me pooping, feels like we've already moved
Speaker 4: our relationship to a higher level. If you read this
Speaker 4: and feel the same way, respond, I hope this smell
Speaker 4: didn't offend you. I hate indianfood for lunch. Dot dot dot.
Speaker 2: That is no excuse.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the last one I have here. Okay, I got
Speaker 4: a couple more, but this one's definitely one of the
Speaker 4: stranger ones. Before we end of off this episode, Free
Speaker 4: human size hamster wheel. Free human sized hamster wheel available
Speaker 4: for immediate pickup. Can accommodate up to two hundred pounds.
Speaker 4: Fully functional, not recommended for houses with small children or animals.
Speaker 4: Fifty pounds of shredded newspaper also available. I will not
Speaker 4: have this in my house any longer. Taking appointments to
Speaker 4: view the wheel this week. Thanks Sondra. What is that for.
Speaker 1: I? I?
Speaker 3: Is this a furry situation?
Speaker 2: Success?
Speaker 4: Sondra's fed up with her kid dressing up like a wolf.
Speaker 2: And running in a hamster wheel day and night.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this one was just hilarious because I feel like
Speaker 4: this could be any of our companies that we've ever
Speaker 4: worked for. We need a smart person in all caps,
Speaker 4: we need a smart We need a smart or more
Speaker 4: person to help.
Speaker 3: On you in with our company.
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
Speaker 4: You need a smart person to help with their company?
Speaker 4: Clearly this is not aimed at you because you didn't
Speaker 4: get it right away.
Speaker 2: Apparently not.
Speaker 4: This is they need a smart person for the help
Speaker 4: their company. That's all you need to know. Okay, I
Speaker 4: have one more here that I may have posted this
Speaker 4: at one point looking for four or five people willing
Speaker 4: to go to look for Bigfoot. If you have game
Speaker 4: cameras or even night vision video recorders, I would like
Speaker 4: to spend a few days in the woods looking for Bigfoot.
Speaker 4: I recently found a print in the mud well out
Speaker 4: fishing context of pics to you for proof, even go
Speaker 4: to the location. If you're interested, please text and call
Speaker 4: his numbers still up on this post. Okay, that definitely
Speaker 4: wasn't me, because you don't post your full phone number.
Speaker 2: No, dear God, you don't anywhere online. But I don't
Speaker 2: know unless it's a burner.
Speaker 3: Unless it's a burner, I guess, did you.
Speaker 2: Like, just have won too many shots one night?
Speaker 4: Just I've been known to occasionally want to go find
Speaker 4: Bigfoot after a couple shots of Southern comfort?
Speaker 2: Do you mean after every time you have a drop
Speaker 2: an entire bottle, even a drop of alcohol. You don't
Speaker 2: even need alcohol.
Speaker 3: Find me in the woods.
Speaker 2: That's all I'm saying, exactly in the woods.
Speaker 4: Follow the noises. So with that being said, as you know,
Speaker 4: it's a new year, twenty twenty four is looking very
Speaker 4: bright for us. I don't know what all is on
Speaker 4: the agenda, so let us know what you guys want
Speaker 4: to see for us from us With us however you
Speaker 4: want to phrase it. We're just excited to bring some
Speaker 4: pretty fresh and exciting.
Speaker 3: Content to you.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, with that being said, let's say, have anything you'd
Speaker 4: like to add? No, no, I think we're not have
Speaker 4: to add this episode of Craigslist two k twenty four
Speaker 4: to our never ending but are always.
Speaker 5: Growing Tails from the Dark.
Speaker 2: Eight five, twelve, sixteen.
Speaker 3: Twenty one nine
Speaker 1: As