WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:13.240 M he was Cold Cold. That was the name. He 2 00:00:13.400 --> 00:00:14.080 was cold Man. 3 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:25.359 What's going on up there? Could be the most important 4 00:00:25.399 --> 00:00:30.079 event in history. 5 00:00:31.079 --> 00:00:35.000 Now, I haven't become the destroyer of the worlds. 6 00:00:39.880 --> 00:00:40.320 I said. 7 00:00:40.359 --> 00:00:43.679 I hope this is close to Hill is all never again. 8 00:01:03.799 --> 00:01:05.760 Hello and welcome to the Tales to a Dark podcast. 9 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:08.040 I'm your host Bob here with my co host Brittany. 10 00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:09.799 Hey, guys, what's up Britney. 11 00:01:09.879 --> 00:01:10.439 How's it going. 12 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:11.239 It's going good? 13 00:01:11.239 --> 00:01:12.640 How are you It's going well? 14 00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:14.959 I wanted to like kind of start this off pretty 15 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:16.959 pretty strong and thank you guys for all of the 16 00:01:17.319 --> 00:01:20.560 well wishes and the support and the response. We got 17 00:01:20.560 --> 00:01:22.159 to our interview that we did last week with the 18 00:01:22.200 --> 00:01:25.319 Ward Heine Ward. As you guys know if you listen 19 00:01:25.359 --> 00:01:27.400 to the episode, he did the Dark Collar project. He 20 00:01:27.439 --> 00:01:29.159 has a bunch of cool projects he's working on with 21 00:01:29.359 --> 00:01:32.920 another rather large podcast, and any support you guys can 22 00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:35.200 send his way. Let him know that we sent you guys. 23 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:38.519 No, I think that's a great I had a fantastic 24 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:39.400 time talking to him. 25 00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:42.239 Yeah, it's it definitely was. It's interesting to kind of 26 00:01:42.280 --> 00:01:44.680 see the perspectives because when you kind of watch them 27 00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:47.480 like dark Haller or something, like, hell, you're you really 28 00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:49.799 early see the purview and you know, with what's being 29 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.680 presented on screen at that moment, and to get to 30 00:01:53.719 --> 00:01:56.040 sit down with them kind of poke his brain a. 31 00:01:55.959 --> 00:01:57.959 Bit, yeah, and talk to him about the mind behind 32 00:01:57.959 --> 00:01:59.079 the project. Yeah. 33 00:01:59.159 --> 00:02:01.120 Yeah, And I mean, you know, not too long ago 34 00:02:01.159 --> 00:02:02.719 we put out Phantom Farm, and it's one of those 35 00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:04.319 things that if you've only ever seen Tales from the 36 00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:07.719 Dark through the lens of Phantom Farm, you don't really 37 00:02:07.799 --> 00:02:09.680 know what you're getting. And it's the same way like 38 00:02:09.719 --> 00:02:11.159 now if you listen to the podcast and you watch 39 00:02:11.159 --> 00:02:13.599 Phantom Farm, like this isn't the same fucking people that 40 00:02:13.639 --> 00:02:16.879 they are incapable of something this artistic. 41 00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:17.120 Can put together. 42 00:02:17.719 --> 00:02:19.159 You think that, You think that. 43 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:21.400 Yeah, but you know what, it's been a couple of 44 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:23.520 months I think, or maybe maybe ten months in our 45 00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:25.520 last Craigslist episode, and I think it's time we kind 46 00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:28.400 of go back in. And I was extremely excited we 47 00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:30.560 were able to find an old fan favorite that we're 48 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:32.080 gonna sprinkle in. I hope you guys, if you guys 49 00:02:32.120 --> 00:02:34.319 have been listening to the show for a long time, you're 50 00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:37.240 gonna find this fan favorite, hopefully as funny as last 51 00:02:37.240 --> 00:02:38.199 time because. 52 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:44.960 We lost it the last Yeah, I honestly last. 53 00:02:45.039 --> 00:02:45.199 Yeah. 54 00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:47.719 Well it's one of those that I have. I've regurgitated 55 00:02:47.719 --> 00:02:49.639 this story and not even like a hey, you listen 56 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:52.039 to my podcast and get this story. It's this is 57 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:54.680 the funniest story of all time when it comes to 58 00:02:54.680 --> 00:02:57.520 like what can go wrong for Facebook market basement, you know, 59 00:02:57.520 --> 00:03:00.400 it's meetups in general on the Internet. Yeah, well, I'm 60 00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:01.479 gonna get a started off here. 61 00:03:01.639 --> 00:03:01.919 Now. 62 00:03:02.800 --> 00:03:05.479 I did do some research into why, because I don't 63 00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:06.439 know if you know this, but you can go on 64 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:08.520 Google Trends and you can see Craigslist like you can 65 00:03:08.520 --> 00:03:10.520 basically put it in any website and see who's searching 66 00:03:10.560 --> 00:03:13.840 for it, the analytics how often that's coming up. Craigslist 67 00:03:13.879 --> 00:03:16.280 has dropped. I mean you can literally see it from 68 00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:18.439 I couldn't figure out why until I did some research, 69 00:03:18.439 --> 00:03:20.240 but you can see it's like it's like Everest, Like 70 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:22.800 you scale Everest and you just toppled down. That's what 71 00:03:22.840 --> 00:03:24.800 happened with Craigslist. Do you know what happened? 72 00:03:25.039 --> 00:03:26.520 No, I have no idea. 73 00:03:26.639 --> 00:03:29.039 So Craigslist pulled a Tumblr. So I'm sure you had 74 00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:31.400 a Tumblr blog back in your teenage years of just 75 00:03:32.039 --> 00:03:35.199 you know Tumblr's ninety percent like smut and just gross, 76 00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:36.639 you know, adult themed content. 77 00:03:36.759 --> 00:03:37.719 Jesus Christ. 78 00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:39.000 Well no, but but that's true. 79 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:41.280 Anyone who had Tumblr, like I had a Tumblr blog 80 00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:43.479 for serial killers. I think at one point in time. 81 00:03:43.960 --> 00:03:45.719 Don't don't ask why, don't look at it, don't. 82 00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:47.000 Look it up. It's probably not there anymore. 83 00:03:47.599 --> 00:03:51.000 But when tumblest is. 84 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:55.599 But the point of bringing up Tumblr is when they 85 00:03:55.680 --> 00:03:58.800 kind of banned adult content, that website kind of went 86 00:03:58.800 --> 00:03:59.599 the way of the dinosaur. 87 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:01.000 I remember that. 88 00:04:01.240 --> 00:04:04.159 Yeah, yeah, So what happened with Craigslist is they used 89 00:04:04.159 --> 00:04:07.759 to have a like a Missed Connections and then like 90 00:04:07.800 --> 00:04:10.960 a basically like a looking for love section of Craigslist. 91 00:04:11.319 --> 00:04:13.520 And I've seen some of the craziest stories come out 92 00:04:13.520 --> 00:04:14.000 of that too. 93 00:04:14.039 --> 00:04:15.879 I've got a good one here. But when they got 94 00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:18.639 rid of that, Craigslist kind of crashed, Which makes me 95 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:22.839 wonder how much of Craigslist was like just pervert perverts 96 00:04:22.839 --> 00:04:25.120 and escorts bait. 97 00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:27.519 They got rid of miss Connections. I just saw it today. 98 00:04:27.560 --> 00:04:29.319 Maybe it's not missc Connections, but there I think it 99 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:31.560 was a personal I think it was just Craigslist personals. 100 00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:34.279 There was an entire sub section here yeah, I mean 101 00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:36.959 right here, I'm looking at right here. It's uh yeah, 102 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:38.920 this just says that the title is Let's move to 103 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:41.319 Alaska M for W you know, man for woman. 104 00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:43.079 Yeah, yeah, that's gone now. 105 00:04:44.199 --> 00:04:46.480 Oh yes, So maybe they brought it back because I 106 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:47.519 swear I saw it, but. 107 00:04:47.879 --> 00:04:50.000 They may have brought it back, but it's definitely it's 108 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:51.680 not ever going to reach it's it's it's former. 109 00:04:52.639 --> 00:04:53.240 Yeah. 110 00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:55.879 Yeah, So this one starts off. I'm a fifty five 111 00:04:55.959 --> 00:05:00.279 year old man, or I should say young guy guys 112 00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:02.399 at fifty five of us of the show going, and 113 00:05:02.399 --> 00:05:05.240 I'm referring to myself as a hip young guy. Kick 114 00:05:05.279 --> 00:05:07.720 me in the back of the head first, fan meant 115 00:05:07.720 --> 00:05:10.079 if I do for seven people at the local target, 116 00:05:10.199 --> 00:05:11.560 kick me in the back of the head as hard 117 00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:14.439 as you can. I'm looking for a wonderful woman to 118 00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:16.759 move to Alaska with me and live off the land. 119 00:05:17.160 --> 00:05:20.439 Let's make our own reality. Let's make our own reality show. 120 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:23.720 Come join me. There's no punctuation. I promise I can read. 121 00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:27.240 There's no punctuation in this. Come join me in the wilderness. 122 00:05:27.439 --> 00:05:29.079 Hopefully you're into freaky sex. 123 00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:31.040 Oh my god. 124 00:05:31.319 --> 00:05:33.319 Now this is all one paragraph. Mind you there's no 125 00:05:33.399 --> 00:05:36.519 periods and there's no punctuation nothing. So anyway, back to 126 00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:40.879 the freaky sex call if you're interested, also must love children. 127 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:44.199 Come on, girl, let's do this. Call your future hubby 128 00:05:44.920 --> 00:05:48.439 and think about it. Wouldn't Alaska be awesome? We build 129 00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:51.279 it all on our own. We f uk our brains out, 130 00:05:51.399 --> 00:05:54.560 not c k f uk our brains out, and have 131 00:05:54.600 --> 00:05:57.079 a blast and maybe some children will come out of 132 00:05:57.079 --> 00:06:01.279 the situation. It's a nice dream. Know what hack God 133 00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:04.240 has in store for my future sweetheart? Dial that number. 134 00:06:04.639 --> 00:06:08.480 That this is literally the last person on Earth I 135 00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:10.639 would ever want to have to live out of the 136 00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:15.160 wilderness with. Now understand like you want to you you 137 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:19.079 really want to sell that dreamy, tell me how Tell 138 00:06:19.079 --> 00:06:21.240 me how you build a trap, Tell me how you 139 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:24.759 can build a log cabin from just trees in the woods. 140 00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:28.399 Show me your skill set, send me pictures. Don't tell 141 00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:30.920 me that you just want freaky sex. 142 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:33.759 That's your only requirement to respond to this ad. 143 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:36.120 No, I'm just saying, if you want to sell it, 144 00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:38.959 at least actually have the skills to do so. It 145 00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:44.199 sounds like he would just die to I don't know buying, 146 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:45.279 Is that what you're saying right now. 147 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:46.079 I mean that's okay. 148 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:47.879 I mean, who doesn't want to just go off and 149 00:06:48.399 --> 00:06:49.920 just live in the woods. 150 00:06:51.720 --> 00:06:53.360 Away from this guy? I'm bound. 151 00:06:53.639 --> 00:06:56.639 If this guy is anywhere, this guy, I don't think 152 00:06:56.639 --> 00:06:58.120 you'd be allowed with them, like two hundred feet of 153 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:00.759 a school based off his eye, his approach. 154 00:07:00.920 --> 00:07:02.000 That's fair, that's fair. 155 00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:05.399 Okay. So I got another one here. I love. 156 00:07:05.560 --> 00:07:08.360 There's a picture of just it's looks like it says 157 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:11.160 twenty eleven. It looks like a gravestone with a fire 158 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:14.399 above it, and the title just says I need someone 159 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:18.480 to retrieve a hidden obelisk. I mean, I'm down. 160 00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:21.240 This just sounds like a Skyrim mission. 161 00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:24.240 I mean, look, I'm down. That's all I can say 162 00:07:24.279 --> 00:07:24.720 is I'm down. 163 00:07:24.879 --> 00:07:28.439 I see that another hand touched the beacon, sign me up. 164 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:31.720 So this one says this is a serious job. Five 165 00:07:31.800 --> 00:07:33.920 years ago, my friends and I lived in Dunbar, and 166 00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:36.319 before we moved out, we entombed a powerful relic in 167 00:07:36.360 --> 00:07:39.800 the sump pit of our basement. The relicant question is 168 00:07:39.839 --> 00:07:44.560 a sort of elongated trapezodial prism obelisk picture above, made 169 00:07:44.560 --> 00:07:48.240 of white gray marble and engraved with Gaelic and oakum 170 00:07:49.079 --> 00:07:52.720 Oakum scripts. It's around twelve by three by three inches 171 00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:57.720 and wakes approximately four kilograms. My request is twofold. First, 172 00:07:57.920 --> 00:07:59.480 that you would travel to the address of the house 173 00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:02.680 to see whether still stands or whether it has been 174 00:08:02.680 --> 00:08:05.680 demolished and redeveloped as the landlord told us it would be. 175 00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:08.600 Upon receipt of the video evidence of the demolished or 176 00:08:08.639 --> 00:08:12.079 reconstructed house in the surrounding area, the job will be 177 00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:15.160 over and to be paid twenty five dollars. If the 178 00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:18.759 original house still stands, your next task will be to 179 00:08:18.759 --> 00:08:21.519 explain the story to the current residence. Follow my directions 180 00:08:21.560 --> 00:08:24.480 to the basement sump pit, retreat the obelisk and arrange 181 00:08:24.480 --> 00:08:27.639 for its postage to Ireland. This will earn you one 182 00:08:27.720 --> 00:08:30.560 hundred dollars, as well as any fees incurred while shipping 183 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:33.639 the relic. It is very important to myself and my 184 00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:36.919 friends that the obelisks be interred in Irish soil, as 185 00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:39.759 our country is experiencing an unstable political climate at the moment. 186 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:42.799 Hopefully this will help to restore balance and safety to 187 00:08:42.919 --> 00:08:46.720 us all. You have a lot of faith, sir, in 188 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:49.159 whatever voodoo witchcraft you in your friends, you. 189 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:52.919 Can't say the Druids are they have lost their long 190 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:54.480 lost treasured obelisk. 191 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:55.200 I know it. 192 00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:59.799 Now. Look my thing with this is, why did. 193 00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:02.639 You play it in the basement in the first place. 194 00:09:02.759 --> 00:09:04.480 Well, no, it's not in the basis, it's in the sump. 195 00:09:04.600 --> 00:09:05.919 It's it's it's it's in the poop. 196 00:09:06.360 --> 00:09:08.840 Oh always actually inside of it. 197 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:14.200 Yeah, unless I read that wrong, why would you do that? Well, 198 00:09:15.159 --> 00:09:17.720 I get guarding your riches, I get it. 199 00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:20.600 That's a whole nother level though. And why wouldn't you 200 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:22.200 retrieve it before you left? 201 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:26.519 I mean you would, You would think you would, but 202 00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:30.159 I don't know. Now we've got to do a bit 203 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:33.200 of a little little callback. 204 00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:34.960 Here to dB Tuber. 205 00:09:36.679 --> 00:09:37.519 No. 206 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:39.240 Now, if you're a newer fan of Tales from the Dark, 207 00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:40.320 which I know a lot of you guys have been 208 00:09:40.360 --> 00:09:41.720 coming in from the ward interview in some of the 209 00:09:41.720 --> 00:09:45.039 most you know, other recent interviews we've done. But understand, 210 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:50.919 dB Tuber has been cemented in our minds as one 211 00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:54.360 of the greatest Americans to ever do it. I mean, 212 00:09:54.360 --> 00:09:55.840 it's it's kid rock dB Tuber. 213 00:09:56.600 --> 00:09:57.200 If I'm being. 214 00:09:57.039 --> 00:10:00.159 Honest, they're right next to each other, so anthey should. 215 00:09:59.919 --> 00:10:03.000 Have Oh that's how he would have got out of jail. 216 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.440 Yeah, he should have. Way he should have went on 217 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:06.320 tour with kid Rock. 218 00:10:07.919 --> 00:10:11.200 I'm just saying that's most people could solve all of 219 00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:15.799 their problems by going on tour kid Rock. Anthony Carusio 220 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:18.279 is living proof that not every Craigslist crime has to 221 00:10:18.279 --> 00:10:20.039 be the kind of thing you'd showed your eyes from 222 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:23.039 while watching him movie. He was a former high school 223 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:25.759 football star who played a little in college, but not 224 00:10:25.840 --> 00:10:28.080 little enough to avoid injury that saddled him with a 225 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:32.159 lifelong painkiller addiction. Things spiraled out of control to the 226 00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:35.679 point that Crucio turned to crime for money, and that's 227 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:39.440 when shit got interesting. Rather than pull the usual junkie 228 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:41.759 maneuver and rob a liquor store on a whim. This 229 00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:43.559 is crack dot com. By the way, this is not me. 230 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:47.720 This is just a retelling, he settled into eight months 231 00:10:47.720 --> 00:10:50.440 of Hollywood action movie worthy planning and came up with 232 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:52.840 a scheme to rob an armored truck. Is this Grand 233 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:53.600 theft Auto five? 234 00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:56.600 That's what it feels like. Did he have the bullets 235 00:10:56.600 --> 00:10:57.600 and board and everything? 236 00:10:57.759 --> 00:11:00.679 Well, speaking of which, to my gaming face out there, 237 00:11:01.080 --> 00:11:03.440 that GTA six trailer that just drops looking pretty good. 238 00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:07.120 I don't know if we're gonna get GTA six anytime soon, 239 00:11:07.320 --> 00:11:08.559 but no, I. 240 00:11:08.519 --> 00:11:12.000 Mean we've literally had GTA five since the PlayStation three. 241 00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:16.480 So look, it's that is rock Stars version of Skyrim. 242 00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:18.919 It is absolutely is. 243 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:21.799 One of the key components of this heist involved posting 244 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.799 an ad on Craigslist for ten day laborers with the 245 00:11:24.799 --> 00:11:27.080 odd request that the all show dressed up the exact 246 00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:30.559 same way. First off, stop getting jobs off Craigslist. 247 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.960 That's that's red flag number one. 248 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:38.720 Yeah, why because on that day Crucio showed up dressed 249 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:41.039 in a similar get up, except his was a tear 250 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:44.519 away velcrow version, like those warm up pants basketball players 251 00:11:44.559 --> 00:11:45.639 where when they're on the bench. 252 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:48.080 Oh my god. 253 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:51.440 As this color coordinated workforce stood around, confused and waiting 254 00:11:51.480 --> 00:11:54.240 to labor, the man who requested their presence blasted an 255 00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:57.279 armored truck driver in the face with pepper spray, grabbed 256 00:11:57.320 --> 00:11:59.799 two bags of cash, and ran off into the sunset, 257 00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:02.720 leaving nothing but confusion and a bunch of dudes who 258 00:12:02.799 --> 00:12:05.159 matched the description of the perpetrator in his wake. That 259 00:12:05.159 --> 00:12:06.360 that was low key genius. 260 00:12:07.320 --> 00:12:09.679 The fact that he did that out of his mind, 261 00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:13.919 blitzed out of his mind is Yeah, it's kind of impressive. 262 00:12:14.039 --> 00:12:16.200 If I learned anything as a child, never ever ever 263 00:12:16.279 --> 00:12:17.879 doubt the creativity of a drug addict. 264 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:20.759 That's that's true. 265 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:25.679 I guess, well this continument yeah, no, no, well that's 266 00:12:25.679 --> 00:12:29.039 not completely true. Crucio also left behind the particle mask 267 00:12:29.080 --> 00:12:32.039 he used to shield himself from the pepper spray, and that, 268 00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:34.519 along with the fact that the most honest homeless dude 269 00:12:34.519 --> 00:12:37.279 ever spotted him stashing his robbery gear during the test 270 00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:40.279 run and gave the police his license plate that eventually 271 00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:43.720 led to his capture, not before he got away in 272 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:47.799 the most insanely adorable way imaginable, though. After fleeing the 273 00:12:47.799 --> 00:12:51.320 scene and disposing of his disguise, Crucio jumped onto a 274 00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:55.440 waiting inner tube and floated to freedom. He stashed a 275 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:58.759 little over the half of the four hundred goddamn thousand 276 00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:02.000 dollars he made off with and safe then immediately made 277 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:04.879 his way to Vegas with the rest. In my dream 278 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:08.120 version of events, all that happened on an inner tube. Also, 279 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:10.200 I don't know that you can get the vegas on 280 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:12.399 a tube. I think you hit the hoover dam and 281 00:13:12.399 --> 00:13:12.840 it's over. 282 00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:16.240 Oh God, Speaking of. 283 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:20.919 God, there is a phobia of like just big things, 284 00:13:21.360 --> 00:13:25.320 like like extremely large objects. And there is this new 285 00:13:25.399 --> 00:13:27.759 trend on YouTube. I don't know if you've seen this, 286 00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:29.080 but it's like like a VR. 287 00:13:28.919 --> 00:13:30.559 YouTube type experience. 288 00:13:30.679 --> 00:13:30.759 Ye. 289 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:33.679 Yeah, And one of them was showing how big the 290 00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:38.000 Hoover Dam actually is. That's terrifying. I have seen it 291 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:41.080 from photos, but I did not realize how big the 292 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:42.519 Hoover Dam actually. 293 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:45.120 Was when we went out there a couple of years ago. 294 00:13:45.559 --> 00:13:48.000 I mean, we didn't have time to actually go out 295 00:13:48.039 --> 00:13:49.919 to the Hoover Dam. We ran out of time. That 296 00:13:50.039 --> 00:13:52.559 was something we wanted to do. But yeah, from what 297 00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:55.279 I've seen from videos and stuff of the Hoover Dams, 298 00:13:55.320 --> 00:13:56.480 it's ginormous. 299 00:13:56.759 --> 00:13:57.200 Yeah. 300 00:13:57.600 --> 00:14:00.799 So, as mentioned earlier, he did get caught eventually, but 301 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:02.639 he managed to live it up in Vegas for a bit. 302 00:14:02.879 --> 00:14:05.480 And to be completely honest, getting away on an enter 303 00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:07.559 tube for a little while is still better than getting 304 00:14:07.559 --> 00:14:09.879 away in a more traditional way forever. I don't agree 305 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:13.440 with that, if for no other reason than having that 306 00:14:13.480 --> 00:14:16.399 story to tell for the rest of your life. Oh hey, 307 00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:19.279 On that note, Crushio is now out of prison and 308 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:22.919 working as a motivational speaker, presumably giving desperate junkies the 309 00:14:22.919 --> 00:14:25.159 courage they need to finally take the plunge and start 310 00:14:25.159 --> 00:14:25.759 stealing shit. 311 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:27.600 Don't go no. 312 00:14:27.679 --> 00:14:29.960 So another fun update. When I told this story the 313 00:14:29.960 --> 00:14:32.399 first time, I was notified by I think Joey Bailey, 314 00:14:32.440 --> 00:14:35.919 who's a longtime listener of the show, that he has 315 00:14:35.960 --> 00:14:37.360 a YouTube channel as well. 316 00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:39.120 I did not know that. 317 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:41.000 Yeah, so what do you got for U? From the 318 00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:42.279 world of Craigslist there. 319 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:48.320 So the first one I have is called false advertising 320 00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:51.559 at its finest. I like to do work around home 321 00:14:51.759 --> 00:14:54.320 in my spare time. I found a guy in the 322 00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:57.679 gig section who was doing some renovations on a DUPLEXI 323 00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:01.240 own and was looking for extra hand. He knew electrical 324 00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:05.240 I was good with carpentry. Perfect pick up some extra 325 00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:08.720 cash and skills. Working a few nights. We send a 326 00:15:08.759 --> 00:15:11.480 few texts and he stops over to meet me. Nice 327 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:15.240 enough guy. We planned a night to get started. I 328 00:15:15.240 --> 00:15:17.200 would usually take the bus around the city, but my 329 00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:18.919 mom and sister were in town, so they gave me 330 00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:22.240 a lift over. Don't get locked up in a basement, 331 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:26.159 my sister jokes. As I hop out. He offers a 332 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:28.440 beer while he breaks down the project, and from what 333 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:31.120 I can tell he's doing a nice job. We talk 334 00:15:31.159 --> 00:15:33.240 about the work in general for a bit and kick 335 00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:37.759 back another beer maybe two. Time is passing and he 336 00:15:37.799 --> 00:15:39.840 is supposed to be paying me for my time, so 337 00:15:39.879 --> 00:15:43.960 I find it a little odd. But heck, I mean, 338 00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:47.200 if you're just chilling and drinking beers and hopefully still 339 00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:49.600 getting paid for your time, I guess that's yeah. 340 00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:52.679 But the beers are the payment at this point, that's true. 341 00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:54.759 Maybe the money was the friends made along the way. 342 00:15:55.320 --> 00:15:56.840 I don't think you'll be saying that by the end 343 00:15:56.840 --> 00:16:00.879 of the story. Okay, it's how I could. It's how 344 00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:03.480 I work around my house too, So power to you. 345 00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:06.879 Beers are cold keep him coming. After four or five, 346 00:16:06.919 --> 00:16:08.399 we finally get move in and do a couple of 347 00:16:08.440 --> 00:16:11.080 odd jobs that take all of thirty minutes, and he's 348 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:13.679 debating on how far he thinks he wants to take it. Tonight, 349 00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:17.519 we have a beer while we think about it. I 350 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:20.000 think I'm calling in a night another beer and a cigarette. 351 00:16:20.120 --> 00:16:22.360 I'll show you the rest of what I've been working on. 352 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:27.120 Is what this gentleman says to to our very uh 353 00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:32.120 incredible worker. I'll say I was gonna say, trusting laborer 354 00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:36.159 trusting laborer. That'll work too, works for me as I 355 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:39.559 follow him up from the table. I've lost count about 356 00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:42.240 how many IPAs I've put back at this point, but 357 00:16:42.279 --> 00:16:46.200 my vision says it's in the ten to twelve range. 358 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:47.879 He holds open a door and tells me a head 359 00:16:47.960 --> 00:16:51.240 down in front of him into the basement. Not until 360 00:16:51.240 --> 00:16:53.480 this very moment have I thought twice about the course 361 00:16:53.519 --> 00:16:56.519 of the night. But that one word up brought it 362 00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:00.399 all rushing back into perspective. I'm on high alert, but 363 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:03.600 he hasn't done anything egregious. So I finished the cigarette 364 00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:05.720 and pray I don't take a wrench to the head 365 00:17:05.880 --> 00:17:09.279 on my way back up. Safe Back at the table, 366 00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:14.799 the gentleman asks, so do you miss your girlfriend? Yeah, 367 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:17.480 she's in Jersey. It's tough to see. It's tough not 368 00:17:17.640 --> 00:17:21.319 seeing her. Do you miss her sexually? 369 00:17:22.559 --> 00:17:25.359 The heck man all right, I know where this is going. 370 00:17:25.480 --> 00:17:28.000 I no longer feel safe. Someone call an adult. 371 00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:31.240 Bells are ringing, it's one in the morning. He changes 372 00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:34.839 the subject, But the mood has shifted. I would say 373 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:35.720 the mood shifted. 374 00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:40.240 This only gets better if we have like some sixties 375 00:17:40.279 --> 00:17:42.720 porn music suddenly comes in from like a jbl or 376 00:17:42.839 --> 00:17:45.039 a beats pill speaker of some sort. 377 00:17:47.559 --> 00:17:51.920 Sensing this, he decides to go for broke. What follows 378 00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:55.119 is a stream of things that shall not be repeated, 379 00:17:55.839 --> 00:17:59.920 beginning with innuendo and easing not so gracefully into the explicit. 380 00:18:00.720 --> 00:18:03.680 I mean, look, shooture shot in your window. It's fine. 381 00:18:03.880 --> 00:18:07.680 I'm legitimately afraid now and my brain is firing. One, 382 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:10.559 don't freak him out. At least I'm bigger. Two, who 383 00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:16.119 the hell does this? Three? Do I really have nice legs? Four? 384 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:19.119 I hope there's nothing. There was nothing in those drinks. 385 00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:23.359 Five If he pays me, now, is this considered prostitution? 386 00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:29.400 I ended up saying, you got the wrong effing section 387 00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:34.039 of Craigliss. Buddy, He actually paid, and I ran four 388 00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:38.279 miles home, stopping only for Chinese food for the reason 389 00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:41.799 one always does. I was drunk, had some money to burn, 390 00:18:41.880 --> 00:18:44.799 and figured this decision couldn't be much worse than my last. 391 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:47.079 And as I was running away, he yelled, Hey, what 392 00:18:47.119 --> 00:18:50.279 do you think about Alaska? 393 00:18:50.839 --> 00:18:52.480 It all makes sense, It's all connected. 394 00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:55.279 Do you want to make a movie? All right? 395 00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:58.079 So this one we got Minister Steele's gift from couples 396 00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:02.599 she was hired to and did marry. Craigslist gives not 397 00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:07.200 a single fuck about the sanctity of your marriages. For 398 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:09.640 proof of that, look no further than the story of 399 00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:13.559 shay Rema Soveria. She was hired on Craigslist to marry 400 00:19:13.599 --> 00:19:18.599 a Portland couple, Kitty and Sean sunershen So and they're 401 00:19:18.599 --> 00:19:20.440