Speaker 1: This is not.
Speaker 2: Don't expect to be.
Speaker 3: Pots on your.
Speaker 2: Life down us time straight from the tail, Who's you'll
find no be Smu side Court. Hi there, and welcome
to the Mimic Chest. As an eerie wind blows through
the English Midlands and America trembles in an anticipation of
the eclipse. These are weird times. Possibly the world has
already ended before you've he heard this, which would be
the ultimate tragedy. Possibly it has, Probably it hasn't. But
if you are the last remaining human on earth, this
is a mimic chest, as something authors and dragons do
exclusively for a Patreon except for when it's not exclusive
at all, And basically what we do is mimic other
better podcasts and podcasts. Well, I like to be modest
because I know I'm secretly better than them, But we're
mimicking Cryptonots, a podcast that concerns itself with cryptozoology and
all the many weird and wonderful creatures therein.
Speaker 3: And by the way, if you are listening to this
in a post apocalyptic world, these are normally meant for
our paying Patreon patrons, in which case, fuck you, cheap Scape.
Speaker 2: I don't care if currency doesn't exist anymore, you can
give me some fucking finger bones or whatever we're using.
Speaker 3: P P your coke, your coke cans.
Speaker 4: If the world's still going though, you know, you can
always join our Patreon at Authors and Dragons dot com.
Speaker 3: In the in the post apocalyptic world, only five cigarettes
a month will get you access.
Speaker 4: We also accept Ramen packets because that ship is gold.
Toilet paper. Toilet paper is the top tier.
Speaker 3: Also, and sperm from like you know, the few viable
males were left.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am not having any we've Yeah. Also, if
it is the apocalypse and it's a particularly strange one,
and maybe this podcast will serve less as speculation and
more as a survival guide to the weird creatures that
surely inhabit your world now.
Speaker 3: A thousand years from now. Authors and Dragons is worshiped
as like, you know, the ones who ended the dark times.
Speaker 2: They're the only ones who warned us about the six
dick monkey.
Speaker 4: That's horrible because I've been through this once because I
was in India in twenty twelve and I was ahead,
like flying from India, and I told everyone as a
joke that, yeah, the world's ending. I'm running ahead of it.
Just wanted to say you know that I love my
family before I go, and someone was dumb enough to pause, and.
Speaker 3: After six towns cannibalize themselves. That was the last time
Rachel ever made a joke.
Speaker 4: YEP, I mean to be fair. I once convinced my
mom that I don't know if you remember the old
Thaight Max commercials, the cassettes that had the heavy breathing.
I told her that if you don't record on the cassettes,
you hear that heavy breathing. And then I recorded one
and snuck it into my mom.
Speaker 2: That's terrifying.
Speaker 5: Yeah, bad, bad child, he exercised me.
Speaker 4: I think it's a very uneven scale.
Speaker 3: Obviously it did not take.
Speaker 4: I can joke about it now because I've had therapy.
Speaker 3: We can joke about it now because we're just assholes.
Speaker 4: Exactly. This is the family I deserve.
Speaker 2: Speaking of deserving things, listener, get ready for a treat.
We're gonna dick up some weird and wonderful cryptids. I
don't think I've heard of any of your guys selections today,
and I don't. You definitely am heard of mine. Mine's
super fucking weird. So we will start rick Yoda, crypto guy,
why don't you kick us off?
Speaker 3: All right? So my I picked a rather obscure but
terrifying cryptid called the Jabbah fo Fee. And let me
just read a little snippet here. The fullest account by
west Dinners appears in a zoological book by George Ebhart.
On page two hundred and four. Ebbart relates the terrifying
experience of an English couple traveling through the Congo. R.
Kay Lloyd and his wife were motoring the Belgian Congo
in nineteen thirty eight when they saw a large object
crossing the trail in front of them. At first, they
thought it was a cat or monkey, but they soon
realized that it was a spider nearly three feet wide.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Kay, you have lost me at the
three foot spider. Can I please curl back into my
little hole.
Speaker 3: I'm still trying to wonder how you look at something
and say, oh wow, that's a really big cat. Oh no,
it's a giant or spider, Like.
Speaker 4: Did you leaves a monkey?
Speaker 2: Look? And I like it? Kay's let that be stupid.
That's a night dick monkey.
Speaker 4: Everyone knows it's a six dick monkey, which is a
completely different species.
Speaker 2: You're right, it must be spider.
Speaker 3: I've discovered it dicked monkey. Oh, it's just a giant spider.
Speaker 4: I'd rather have the monkey.
Speaker 2: Well, it depends that buys me a drink first.
Speaker 4: But my mouth, you asshole.
Speaker 2: Spell that for me, right? I want to say this
this hard.
Speaker 3: So it's two words J apostrophe b A and then
f O f I.
Speaker 2: F f I. That's coming straight up. Oh my god.
Well that doesn't.
Speaker 3: Like it's ease, you know. I mean, actually, I don't know.
I'm just going to say something racist. They put a
lot of They put up a lot of apostrophies and things.
I don't know.
Speaker 4: I apologize and go back to spiders.
Speaker 3: If you're from the Congo and you're listening to this,
just just ignore me.
Speaker 4: If anyone from the Democratic Republic of Congo is listening,
could you please correct our pronunciation. We would appreciate. That's fine.
Speaker 2: Say that they play they speak a different language in
the Congo. That seems reasonable. It is problematic, and that.
Speaker 3: Does I'm gonna got a call, like, motherfucker, this is
a three foot long fucking spider and I'm coming to
kick your ass because you can't pronounce sh it.
Speaker 5: I find it fascinating the places.
Speaker 4: The language of the Congo is French, always put stuff,
but they also speak Kitchuba, which is also known as Kikongo, Lengala,
Swahili and Shiluba.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm here. I'm here to just say, as far
as I'm concerned, Jibao fi is French, right, one.
Speaker 2: Of those languages is bound to be hilarious. And I
don't think there's races to say because it's probably French.
Speaker 4: It's probably French. So yeah, yeah, we need to get
a Frenchman to correct us.
Speaker 3: Oh no, that's not do so in the junt our
giant French spiders.
Speaker 4: Secondly, so they don't shave under their eight little arms.
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 5: Would you?
Speaker 4: Eight arms? God?
Speaker 5: I get tired after two.
Speaker 4: I could make a comment, but I won't overshare right
now because I am suffering.
Speaker 2: You never know which one was the armpits? Really, would you?
There's a lot going on there. But I don't think
this is this acrypted because they have giant spiders.
Speaker 4: But no, because it have to be encrypted because of
the law of oxygenation to exoskeleton, you can only be
a certain size as a terrestrial crustacean because of oxygen exchange.
That's why the big crabs have to live in the
very deep ocean.
Speaker 3: Except except except for coke nut crabs. Rachel.
Speaker 4: The coconut crabs, if you look at it, I think
they're under.
Speaker 3: Three feet No, not really.
Speaker 4: Oh great, now I have to look up.
Speaker 3: Besides, go go go look at it.
Speaker 4: The coconut crab is the largest a terrestrial arthropod could
be with the current levels of oxygenation.
Speaker 2: Okay, but they're still huge and horrible. And I know
there's a bird eating spiders the size of a dinner
plate or something. A right, yeah, that's not too far off.
I mean that's already I'm already kind of like, I
don't like that.
Speaker 4: Apparently, coconut crabs taste like coconut and lobster. Yeah, people eat.
Speaker 2: Them good, bad than us.
Speaker 4: They can be as wide as one meter tip to tip,
and way up to four point one kilograms because metric.
Speaker 3: Rocks how big. From tip to tip one meter three feet,
that's that's over three feet point to rick. So now
that we've established that three.
Speaker 4: Spider they are within the arthropod size limit, then they
wouldn't just be encryptid, they would be just a big spider,
which takes away some of their mystique.
Speaker 2: No, I'm I'm against that rule. We've discussed that before.
I think if an animal is fucking horrible enough, we
can call it a monster, and that's fine. I think
that's a sensible thing to do. As a species.
Speaker 4: We should know the difference the fish that goes up
your penis and latches in and as a parasite.
Speaker 2: No, because that's just a parasite. Parasites are awful. But
we you know the difference between a spider and ah,
holy god, some kind of awful monster. And I think
that the difference between that is about is about two
and a half feet maybe.
Speaker 5: I find it. I find it fascinating that, you know,
we we in a typically Western white people kind of
culture where oh, monsters are are werewolves are scary, vampires
are scary, and then you go over to Asia and
after Africa and they go, no, let us tell you
about real monsters. We got real monsters.
Speaker 2: This is why I like living in England. Our idea
of Encryptid is just a really big house cat, and
that's kind of like. That'll keep us talking.
Speaker 3: In all fairness, of your if you're pretty much giving
me a choice between okay, wandering the woods and getting
attacked by sasquatch versus wandering at the jungle and getting
set upon by three foot spider three foot murder spiders.
I know which one I'm choosing.
Speaker 4: Yes, God, never look up, Never look up. The biggest
spiders in the world. But the biggest spider that ever
existed was only half a meter in size. Even in
only half a meter fifty centimeters Mega, we're wondering.
Speaker 2: Mega sounds like a really good Russian prostitute.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 4: Doubled a Russian prostitute.
Speaker 5: Where was this spider when when.
Speaker 4: It was at home? Okay, it was in the gazillion
age near Argentina. Well, it wasn't Argentina, but it became
Argentina when the land mass is split.
Speaker 3: But here's the thing. Spiders don't let bone so pretty much.
We just have like you know, like mud impressions or
rock impressions for fossils. So it's quite possible that, like
you know, that that just could have been a small
species that just happened to be stupid and sink into
the mud, while all of it's like much larger relatives.
We're just wander around going We're not going to be
fossilized because fuck you, humanity.
Speaker 2: We don't sink into the mud. The mud sinks into us.
I don't find this one hard to believe that there
could be like some freakishly large species of spider that
doesn't that sounds just awful enough to exist.
Speaker 5: So do they do? Does the the jab jabba fufi?
Speaker 3: Where was it jibbaufi?
Speaker 1: Whatever spider, big giant spider of the cigarette came.
Speaker 4: We did, shipped fizzy ampets and.
Speaker 5: The English? So what does what does it hunt? Does
it hunt people? Or does it hunt?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 3: What? Apparently, according to this it hunted Yeah, pretty much
what it wanted. But apparently it enjoyed praying on pigmies.
Speaker 2: Oh no, pies. They got a really fucking rough time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you think maybe the pigmies would be like, we're
living in a place with spiders are as big as us,
Why don't we get the fuck out here?
Speaker 2: They must Maybe they just really liked where they were.
Maybe it's incredibly lazy.
Speaker 4: It also could be it was rent controlled. I mean,
oh yeah, I mean I would endure if it was
a choice between giant French Man eating spiders in an
h o A. I'd say I can avoid the spiders mostly.
Speaker 2: The occasional child gets carried off level of life.
Speaker 4: At least I don't get fined for my lawn being
an inch too tall, and I.
Speaker 2: Don't have to get a job. You know, maybe it's not.
Speaker 3: Maybe I really hate that all my children have been
carried off by giant spiders, but I really love the
fact that I have that nobody complains about my garden nomes.
Speaker 2: It probably invented garden names as sort of decoys for
the spiders, sacrificial Maybe that's where that comes from. I
don't know. I'm not a historian. Look here about.
Speaker 5: Children in the yard unprotected They're English.
Speaker 2: Take the first that would that would explain garden names.
Then when you think about it, nothing else explains gardens.
Just fucking saying when you think.
Speaker 4: I thought garden domes were best explained by LSD of things.
Speaker 2: All right, massive spiders in the junk, but believably massive.
I still think free feet believe do they have.
Speaker 4: Any special powers that brings them beyond just possibly atmosphere.
Speaker 3: It just says these are giant ground dwelling spiders. That
that that birds, small game, tiny antelopes and pigmies. So
you're right, so that they're pretty much like you know,
oversized wolf spiders.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wolf spider. That's the one that's known as the
birdying spider.
Speaker 4: Species, the goliath bigger one. I think they're both in
Australia though, aren't they.
Speaker 3: No, we have wolf spiders in the US.
Speaker 4: But they're like I'm thinking trap door spiders more.
Speaker 3: Like this size, not like more like this size.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well let's just keep them alo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wolf sized spiders.
Speaker 4: We have much bigger spiders than you do, Steve. We
have more poisonous or venomous ones, but Australia puts us
all to shame, so yeah.
Speaker 3: They just get those huntsman spiders there.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, those are the creepy ones.
Speaker 4: Strangely enough, their bite doesn't affect cats and dogs, so
like cats will play with them and like rip their
legs off and treat them like toys because they're immune
to the venom. But we can eat chocolate, so that's
our trade off as far as nervous systems. That's fun
super venomous spider Australian thing, because you know, I fall
down the rabbit hole of watching Australian vets.
Speaker 2: I don't ever want to watch that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, watch an Australian vet one day and you
will be like, I am happy to live in this country.
I don't care.
Speaker 2: Yep, they can all stay in Australia or cryptid Land
as I like to cool it. Yeah, I mean, I'm
glad you bought that one up. I thought that was
a nice, easy introduction into the world of horrifying bullshit.
I think it's real. I don't think there's anything that
can test that.
Speaker 4: At all, except for the fact that no specimens have
ever been found, despite the fact that we rapidly DeForest
the region.
Speaker 3: Rachel, you do realize that the whole concept of encryptid
is no specimens have been found.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry the skeptic came out.
Speaker 2: A little, but we're always finding new species of ship
all the time despite deforestations. So if somebody like finds
one of these things, that's not surprising and it's not
my problem, and I'm glad.
Speaker 4: I mean they did find.
Speaker 3: Honestly, years in artic society, I mean, we always cheer,
cheer when like a lion gets like it takes down
like poachers, like you know, we we'd probably see this, like,
you know, this whole thing of like, hey, you know
company that's deforesting was be set upon by three foot spiders,
and that would probably be like a feel good story
would be.
Speaker 2: And soil, like there's some kind of volcano of these
underground spiders that has been disturbed.
Speaker 4: And they just expanded and then we end up in that.
Speaker 2: Like a storm cloud.
Speaker 4: Movie where like they ended up covered in spider webs
at the end. It was absolutely horrible.
Speaker 3: Kingdom of spiders.
Speaker 4: Ah, yes that one.
Speaker 2: Ah, yes, well, we don't want a Kingdom of spiders scenario.
And that's for sure. I don't think spiders can swim,
so fuck you guys.
Speaker 3: I guess they can't swim, but you know, some dipshit
would put one in a suitcase and bring it over
here and it would get when it get loose.
Speaker 5: I did not swim, but they can rest on the
surface tension of water.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, No, not a three foot spider. No, I'm
speaking of actual spiders.
Speaker 2: And if they can go underwater then they probably have
to fight the coconut crabs anyway.
Speaker 4: And coconut crabs are terrestrial.
Speaker 2: Whoever wins, we lose. I suppose, and.
Speaker 4: All creatures, like they said, all arthropods eventually evolve to
look like crabs. It's just one of those weird things
of evolution is that the longer a species goes, the
closer it gets to the form of a crab.
Speaker 2: Like crap the perfect four.
Speaker 4: Well, it's like all mammals start turning into weasels, and
all arthur POD's turn into crabs.
Speaker 3: When you go to I know a few people that
pretty much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why is weasel the perfect fullaesel.
Speaker 4: Is the most I guess efficient mammalian form evolutionary, and
the weasel.
Speaker 3: Just about anywhere, and that's why it's the perfect form.
Speaker 5: I'm really glad Bevan's not here right now.
Speaker 2: I know he's here in spirit. Okay, all right, that's awful.
Let's get away from that one entirely. Misty, What have
you got for it?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Well, I went into my my heritage. I am in
South carol and we have our very own cryptid in
South Carolina. It is the lizard Man of Lee County. Now,
Lee County's a little bit inland, and it has a
swamp called the Scape or Swamp, And one night in
nineteen eighty eight, so this is not a very old
cryptid floating around. But one night in nineteen eighty eight,
a kid was stopped on the side of the road
because he was having to fix a tire when he
looked up and he saw a green wet like. I
don't understand why we had to add the like to
the end of wet, but whatever wet like seven foot
tall creature with three fingers, red eyes, skin like a lizard,
and scales like a snake.
Speaker 4: Why not scales like a lizard?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: Yes, was the royal family in town at a time,
Because if so, I can put two fries together, I.
Speaker 5: Am absolutely sure that the Royal family drops in on
freaking Lee County all the time. It is in Bishopville,
South Carolina. So but anyway, the kids saw this creature,
and so he got in his car to drive away,
and the creature leaped at his car, was tearing at
the outside at the paint job, and so the kid
hit his brakes. The creature rolled off, and the kid
hit the accelerator and got out of there again and
went home and called the sheriff. So basically, what we
have is a lizard man who likes to come out
of the swamp. Every now and then and kill teenagers cars.
Speaker 2: Just the teenagers would.
Speaker 4: Are we sure this isn't a story being told to
hide the fact that they just hit a pole.
Speaker 5: I am absolutely sure that he was telling the truth.
I would I would believe him one hundred percent, this
seventeen year old kid with a flat tire in the
middle of Bishopville in the middle of the night. But no, Actually,
somebody a couple of years later also reported seeing a
similar creature that caused damage to their vehicle. And this
was this was a married couple a little bit older,
not teenagers, but I don't know exactly how much older
because CNN and it got on CNN. It was in
two thousand and eight. CNN did a story about it.
So that's that's why I'm thinking that maybe the lizard
man just likes to jump on cars and tear at
the paint job.
Speaker 2: Mm hm true. I mean my first four is maybe
a drunk teenager rolled a car and looked for a
very outlandish excuse, and then maybe, you know, several years later,
somebody was doing some RoadHead sort of thing and had
a handy excuse already existing for what It's great that the.
Speaker 4: Car wouldn't that wouldn't a handy excuse be for a
road hand job?
Speaker 2: Ha ha ha. I see what you've done that heady excuse,
then thank you now.
Speaker 5: South Carolina Emergency Management, of which I have spoken off camera,
posted a tweet in twenty seventeen when we had the
solar eclipse that year. We were in totality for the
solar eclipse that year, they posted a tweet that Lee
and Sumter County should remain vigilant, vigilant because eclipses brought
out the Lizardman, which I'm thinking is gonna mean that
Lizardman's gonna make a show on Monday, April eighth when
we have although although we're not gonna be in totality,
we're gonna be in just partial but well maybe be.
Speaker 4: Like a limb out and wave.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so you.
Speaker 4: Know, a lizard.
Speaker 5: I will, I will put all my glasses and look
for the lizardman, even though I'm nowhere near swampy parts
of the state.
Speaker 4: But you know, I thought North Carolina or no, South
Carolina was just a swamp. You're telling me there's non
swampy parts.
Speaker 5: There are non swampy parts. Oh, there's there's marshy parts
down by the coast, and then there's swampy parts further inland,
and then it will swamp.
Speaker 2: Some of it's marsh damnit.
Speaker 6: Marsha's salt the occasional blog.
Speaker 5: Yes, there are differences and the.
Speaker 4: Salt water he never goes to the beach.
Speaker 5: And I've heard that he I'm pretty sure he's a
fresh water sort of man.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, we've got a creature from the Black Lagoon.
Speaker 4: Then basically no lagoon with salt water, so this would
be all.
Speaker 2: Right, creature from the black swamp.
Speaker 4: That blacky.
Speaker 2: By you is brackish, isn't it was the creature he
probably wasn't a lizard then if he was from saltwater, No,
he was fish like fish man.
Speaker 4: And then a unique prop prospect that there are some
that have the ability to exist both in salt water
and in fresh water.
Speaker 2: This is more of a gay man, I guess. I mean,
I'm just trying to think of animals that do actually
live in the water.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: The lizard guy is more gator like I would say,
except he walks on two feet.
Speaker 4: Yeah, which there are ocean lizards, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, Allege is a probably one of the most terrifying
creatures out there. But if I saw one walking around
the two feet, no way of being intimidated by That's
just ridiculous. You may as well be dwelling a little
cane with a ball on his nose.
Speaker 4: You were less intimidated by a bipedal crocodile.
Speaker 3: Steve would not have lasted long into cretaceously as there
laughing at all the tyrannosaurus.
Speaker 4: Although they're technically related to birds more than I'm not.
Speaker 2: Talking about like a crocodile of big thick legs. I'm
just thinking like an alligator just stands on those little
stuffy like it looks stupid. You wouldn't be scared of that.
So I'm thinking maybe not.
Speaker 4: Now Egyptians had had what on it? She was pretty scary.
That was a that was a crocodile on two legs.
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe this was what is Maybe maybe this is
like swamp hillbillies. They propped up an alligator like with
a stick and then just threw it at a.
Speaker 2: Car because for an Allegaerica me said, why would someone
do that? Steve, So I don't have to answer that question.
People just do shit.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Well, if he was if the kid was driving
what back in eighty eight what every seventeen year old
was driving, which was an ugly ass camaro. I would
throw sticks.
Speaker 4: At it too, So not a thunderbird.
Speaker 5: No, probably not a thunderbird. Probably a camaro or or
what was the other one? There was an Iraq the
irack z Yeah what all the boys in my high
school we were driving back in the eighties, So.
Speaker 2: A good reason to for an alligator at it.
Speaker 4: I apologize. I have my own cryptid trying to muscle
into the the podcast. It is a giant cat, which
fits because of what I picked for mine.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm a firm believe that a lot of like
swamp monsters can be like explained away as bored swamp
hillbillies and alcohol.
Speaker 4: Other than just jumping on cars, like was anything else reported?
Speaker 2: We were a real swamp monsterasol alone.
Speaker 5: Yeah, nobody has ever reported being injured by it. It
was only just property damage, although investigators have actually come
out and interviewed the people that have reported this seeing
this thing, and one investigator has suggested that what the
kids saw that night was actually a local butter bean farmer,
Lucius Elmore, who was guarding his shed the night after
recent thefts. He claimed he heard a car tire blow
out and thinking it was thieves because thieves are all
the time blowing car tires in the swamp, he walked
out to the road to confront them. Elmore said that
when the kids saw him, he screamed and took off.
Speaker 4: So the guy wearing like a snake skin jacket exceptionally ugly.
Speaker 5: See, I would love to know what what Lucia Selmore
looks like.
Speaker 3: Pull up a picture. He just looks like a slee
stack mystery salved.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he looks like a sleeve stack and he's walking
through MUDs, so he's moving really slow.
Speaker 2: I can I'm trying to find it. For some reason,
this is all pictures of women.
Speaker 3: Stop stealing my crops.
Speaker 4: I'm protecting my butter beads. Just trating it over. Yes,
the scripted was actually a butterbean farmer. What the twist
was is he actually is a ware crocodile and uh,
thus we have circled back around to like anthropes.
Speaker 2: That's true. I would have think that if a lizard
man was hanging around road, there is a well, why
would the why are the man?
Speaker 4: You know what a butter bean is. It's kind of
like a yeah, but it's a little softer and a
little more yellowish, and it's delicious. Makes katash out of good.
Speaker 2: That's just what the cat said.
Speaker 4: It's an actual dish. The katash involves like corn, tomatoes,
and either lima or butter beans.
Speaker 5: I love lima beans.
Speaker 4: Podcast is incredibly educational, just not about cryptids.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I can't think of any working fairy for a bipedal lisen.
Speaker 4: Man unless it's just what if it was like a
really angry furry who happened to be a butterbean farmer
and just attacked.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just ahead of the curve.
Speaker 4: Do people who dress up as like reptiles and stuff?
Speaker 3: Are they furries or they dressed up as reptiles? Reptiles?
Of course they not furries.
Speaker 4: Canes allow people who dress up as reptiles.
Speaker 2: I have a feeling that there is a secret war
going on, a deeply greasy, sexually charged secret war going
on right now about this very subject. You know what,
I want no part.
Speaker 3: Of it between the furries and they just want acceptance.
Speaker 2: We're all part of the fairy community, and they're like,
you have a guy any fur it's undignified.
Speaker 4: Are there furries who don't have fur Yeah there are? Okay,
so are they still furries because because.
Speaker 2: They're wearing they're wearing costumes?
Speaker 4: Yes, I get the fact that they do not.
Speaker 2: Actually it's not actually fair.
Speaker 4: I hate to burst a bubble enjoin a furry.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you don't have fur, you are not a furry.
Speaker 2: Gate keeping the faery keeping.
Speaker 4: You're listening, could you please add to the comments and
educate us. We genuinely want to know.
Speaker 3: At least you're pressed up as a fish person. You're
a fishy, you're not a furry. Get back?
Speaker 4: Would they be a scally? Because fish have scales to like?
Can fish and reptile identifying people?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Do they get they can funck? No problem?
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's fine, slide down the lowse like do they
have to.
Speaker 2: Get wherever they can? Wherever they can?
Speaker 4: This rabbit hole? Someone stop me please, it's okay.
Speaker 5: I'm sitting here with the spiders, the French spiders. I'm
sitting here with what does the fox say? Playing in
my head?
Speaker 3: Now? So and just for the record, if you have feathers,
that does not go out either.
Speaker 4: I guess birds came from dinosaurs. Do they get to
go with the scalies? But since feathers are kind of fluffy.
Do they get to go with the furries?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 4: Where do they fit you?
Speaker 3: I am okay with segregating my lick, you know my furries,
my fishies, my scalies, and my lick you know my birdies.
Speaker 2: There's a tax on me, there is there?
Speaker 4: Like, I do not want to google this ship. Will
somebody just tell me? I'll probably believe whatever you say.
Speaker 3: Morgan Freeman voice, of course, Rachel googled this.
Speaker 2: Ship, all right. I feel like we should abandon the
lizard man topic now. I think this is a good
place to step off of that. Yes, Rachel, what have
you got?
Speaker 4: Well, if you can't tell by the actual furred creature
who keeps trying to nestle into the podcast, I need
to move because he's moving my camera. I brought in
one that actually ties back to my own family. I
have brought in the Lumpus Cat for your consideration, which
is a Cherokee Nation slash appellationian cryptid legend. Would you
like me to read the legend?
Speaker 5: Please please read the legend Anti Rechel.
Speaker 4: It is described as a fearsome hybrid of a mountain
lion and a woman. Believers say the wampust cat roams
the wilderness, emitting eerie sounds that strike terror into the
hearts of those who cross its path. So a cat lady,
it is like, well, it's a cat with a lady.
Oh god, I did not pick this thinging. It was
going to go back to furries. Okay, Oh my god,
it involves a booger mask. I don't know what a
booger mask is, but okay, let me continue this tale
as I move my cat again. Cherokee folklore offers a
few perspectives on the wampus cat. One legend tells of
Running Deer, a Cherokee woman who wanted to take down
the evil spirit Awa known as the Spirit of Madness.
Running Deer wanted revenge for she believed the spirit was
responsible for driving her husband, Standing Bear, to madness. Equipped
with a booger mask and the spirit of a mountain cat,
she surprised and defeated the spirit, becoming the tribe spirit
talker and home protector. Some believe that Running Deer's spirit
resides within the wampus Cat, guarding the Cherokee lands against
dark forces hidden in the depths of Tanasei not Tennessee Tanasi.
Just to clarify, which, of course we're also talking about
Tennessee is the region she was. Also, they said it
could be a woman who witnessed a ceremony she couldn't
while hiding under the pelt of a mountain lion, and
then she was punished by a medicine man, transforming her
into a fearsome feline entity. The wampus cat noticed the
difference between the Cherokee legend and the legend of the
White Man. If you would.
Speaker 3: Please, I'm thinking when we when when Steve like total
tolls about this mimic, chest Rachel read it wrong and
she didn't read crypto, not so much as fetish.
Speaker 4: Not. I pick this because of rising fon not to
be confused with running deer. But it's descended from the
Cherokee of East Tennessee, so I thought it would be
nice to bring something from my family.
Speaker 2: Are we saying that I missed a little bit of
that because I was trying to fix a problem on
my computer. Are you saying that fairies come from Native
American legend?
Speaker 4: No, this is doc furries coming from Native America. This
is a Native America. Now, if they're appropriated by furries,
I don't know. I can't comment. I don't know if
a Native American furry wants to identify.
Speaker 2: I just want to know who to blay.
Speaker 3: You get twenty three and meter done, and it's like
it's a congratulations you have furry blood.
Speaker 4: But there have been multiple sightings across Tennessee, North Carolina
and Appalachia, and it's usually of a cat with a
sort of flat face that sort of blends into a
woman that shrieks and makes a sound that like terrifies
you down to your bones.
Speaker 5: So Rachel, Rachel, being part of the family, I must
know what does the wampus cat say?
Speaker 4: There? I did the pod person scream for you? Okay,
my cat is staring at me like that is not
what you're supposed to say. I feel like I was
drammatically incorrect. And look at this. I have Actually my
cat has been summoned out of like see, we have
a wampus cat. A woman and a cat have entered
the screen together. This is not a furry thing. This
is a terrifying, cryptid attacking.
Speaker 3: Well I say about my mother, you bitch, I like
I did.
Speaker 4: I just I made that noise and I feel like
I have insulted poor Griff's mother.
Speaker 2: I think we've we've just solved the legend of this.
You just admonstrate it. So it could have just been
a woman holding a cat.
Speaker 4: Yes, but it's one of those interesting legends because if
you look from one side of the story, it's like
a protector and a fierce worriment, and the other it's
a cursed woman. Go figure.
Speaker 3: I love the idea of just some like just some
crazy old lady living in like the woods and if
anybody comes into her like her land, she just wanders
out holding a cat in front of her and screeching.
Speaker 1: Baby that that actually.
Speaker 5: Is something you would probably see down the road from me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a lot of people who also say it's
just a witch and probably want to burn her. But
in nineteen eighteen, a wampus was reportedly roaming the Big
Ridge in the vicinity of get Semony. So yeah, apparently
they blame a lot of livestock deaths and find ways
to persecute women who are a little bit different by
saying it's a wampus cat, Well.
Speaker 2: You gotta keep him in line, right, my cow has
died of bovine flu.
Speaker 3: Let's burn some women.
Speaker 5: It's our fault. It's always our fault.
Speaker 2: It's even that or except that some things are out
it get you control, and no one wants to do that.
Speaker 4: It can shape shift to become invisible, so anytime anyone
gets close, it disappears.
Speaker 3: Well, that's convenient.
Speaker 4: The wampus cat is also like the mascot of a
North Carolina small university basketball team.
Speaker 3: So you go into the woods, this crazy witch comes
out there out there holding a cat, screeching at you.
Then she turns invisible, and that's when like three dots
appear in your forehead, and that's I.
Speaker 4: Do wonder though, if the movie Prey was actually pulling
some from from this legend. Maybe who knows, but I
thought it was pretty cool, a little bit different, little
more mystical. But yeah, a lot of women have been
blamed for wumpus cat activity.
Speaker 5: Hm, well, we're blamed for every.
Speaker 2: Damn thing the cat. Then they'd probably blame men for that.
But this is a wumpus cat.
Speaker 4: So like I did, though confirm the word kitty wampus
does not come from a wampus cat. Kitty wumpus comes
from a European line of etymology. I just thought it
was funny.
Speaker 2: That is this kitty wampus?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it means crooked, not quite matching. Usually it's like
my tie is all kitty wampus.
Speaker 2: I've never heard that.
Speaker 3: I've never heard that.
Speaker 4: It is a very Southeastern United States colloquial. And unless
my editor is from the American South, they constantly a
what the hell is this word? That is not a
real word. It is a real word.
Speaker 5: Yeah, wow, And you really you really do say cady
like caddy, not like not like c A T and
not like c I T, but somewhere in between wampus
caddy wampus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I think we should just get
back to obviously, the the whole, like you, origin of
this legend is like, you know, hey, baby, you want
to want to go out with me? Now, you're not
my type, you're a fu.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would like to next time anyone asks me out,
I'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm a wampus cat. I'm
just gonna rip your face off scream.
Speaker 5: Did you mention that they have six legs?
Speaker 4: Some legends they have six legs. They're kind of like
a human cat, like like a cat.
Speaker 3: Tar wouldn't were like cockroach women.
Speaker 2: You know what also looks like it might have six legs.
A woman holding a cat.
Speaker 4: Holding a cat, especially if this poor griff you realize
that my cat is now we have apparently offended my cat.
Speaker 2: There was just some highly strung woman holding a cat,
and some guys saw it. Wreaking holy shit, I'm bored
and need the keys to oppress women wampas cat.
Speaker 3: We'll consider considering the location it might have been bored
or might have been I'm high as holy shit, I'm
high as bass.
Speaker 4: Yeah that is also possible.
Speaker 2: I'm constantly feverish from whatever bullshit i'm ingesting.
Speaker 4: They have been used in Dungeons and Dragons as a monster.
Yeah too.
Speaker 5: Apparently there's a baseball team that uses them as their
mascot about thirty minutes from where I live.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very big in like North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee.
Speaker 2: That's the So somebody has to dress up as the
right We'll draw a picture of it.
Speaker 3: With crazy old lady holding a cat.
Speaker 2: A cat comes out and somebody runs along and sets
fire to.
Speaker 4: Her, is what I've done. It just keeps coming back
to furries again.
Speaker 2: This is like I can find an angle on this
where it makes sense in reality missed these one though
I cannot do the too.
Speaker 4: There are some like logic that it might have been. Indeed,
a warrior woman wearing the pelt of a mountain lion attacking. Yeah,
and some pot.
Speaker 2: Substance, the highest ship woman wearing a cat.
Speaker 4: High people watching the woman.
Speaker 2: I don't know that woman's high enough, and she's wearing
a cat for that's gonna come off as a little
bit monstery and that's a reasonable reaction.
Speaker 4: Or maybe there are cat women and the appellations who
just are sick of your ship.
Speaker 2: Well me specifically, old crazy old cat lead.
Speaker 4: Say anything. I'm like the descendant of the people who
never found a British accent. They didn't change allegiances for
and sell out their country.
Speaker 2: Just the one person setting into the wilderness who's somehow
listening to orfors and dragons. Can that motherfucker?
Speaker 4: We have the descendant of colonialism. I can't help by existence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also we have internets, so it ain't that bad.
But yeah, okay, so I can explain. I think I
can explain the wumper woman or the one woman that's
just a cat and one woman would just be a woman. Right,
Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 4: What wampus means on its own.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to google because it feels like it
should be an actual, proper word.
Speaker 3: It probably means a woman.
Speaker 2: Now I'm just getting cat. That's bizarre.
Speaker 4: Really, what does mean that a strange, objectionable or monstrous person?
Speaker 5: Etymology is mongrel, So we.
Speaker 2: Can get a wampus anything then, really, that's a useful thing.
Speaker 4: And kitty wampus means disorganized, poorly done, or chaotic, which
is pretty much.
Speaker 2: Me a wumpus kitty. Yes, well, that's good. We've we've
improved of vocabulary.
Speaker 4: It is a real word. I will happily use it
in a sentence anytime I'm required.
Speaker 5: The kenny wampus is anomology, says Uh. It may be
from the Scottish slang term wompish, which means to wriggle
or twist, about which I'm sure an old woman holding
a cat out like this is dealing with surreally a twisting.
Speaker 4: Especially as excuse me speaking not Scottish.
Speaker 3: People, Scottish wiggly things, Steve.
Speaker 4: The same words can evolve from completely different source.
Speaker 2: Yep, all right, I've got I've got one for you
that is also local. There's some argument of over whatever
this is encryptid of I should say I'm reading from
the cryptid wiki right now it's the sand Down clown
or Sam the Soundown ghost clown.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, now I'm nervous.
Speaker 4: So we've had spiders, furries.
Speaker 2: And clowns now, yeah, just a round off the night, Yeah,
just a round after fetishes. Yeah. So basically, two kids
were hanging around in the Isle of White by the
Beach in the seventies, which is a dangerous time for
children to be alone in Britain. But they heard a
sound like an.
Speaker 4: Andrew television presenters.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know that, we'll get onto the furies soon.
So they heard this ambulance siren like sounds and they
wandered over a footbridge over a stream and met what
was described as an unidentifiable being described as a cross
between a clown, a robot and an alien. And apparently
it was shy but friendly and spoke to the children
for about half an hour before they returned to their parents.
So it wasn't horrible. It was less threatening than a
children's TV presenter in the seventies.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I was gonna say seventies. Isle of Wight.
Speaker 2: Apparently stood over two meters in height. It had more
or less normal human proportions except.
Speaker 4: For or a basketball player.
Speaker 2: Well it was just like it looked like a tall
human except for the head, which was described as being
way too large for its body and like perfectly spherical,
had very white skin and it's uh what it was
in England, and face seemed to be painted into the
surface of its head, with like two triangle eyes and
a flat brown rectangle for a nose, and like a
yellow circle for a mouth.
Speaker 4: Like maybe an alien imitating Ronald McDonald's.
Speaker 2: That's something that's there's some of it that says like this.
Clearly some of the recollections seemed to hint that this
was a mask, but there was something odd under the
mass because it had it's like apparently his mouth didn't
move at all when it spoke or ate. It had
hair beneath a hat and two wooden antennae stuck from
the side of its head.
Speaker 4: Are we sure this wasn't just someone dressed up as
a clown?
Speaker 2: Well, uh, yeah, it's well, we'll get onto the the theory.
The wall gloves, bit of feet were bare and it
had three fingers and free toe appendages.
Speaker 4: It was nightcrawler.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had a nightcrawler step up, and also.
Speaker 5: Sure it was not a sexual predator trying to hide
from any cameras that might be around.
Speaker 2: Wow, on to theories in a minute. It was also
carrying a microphone and a tannoy system and it spoke
through that, So I basically I had a kind of
like portable carryopen machine. Yeah. But apparently it was friendly.
The children weren't hurt or went missing or anything. It
said it was shy but friendly, and it told the
children it was frightened of humans, and it would not
defend itself with attact. And it drank water from the
stream after cleaning it, and gathered wild berries and says
it specifies here, which it ate in a very odd
manner by thrusting its head forward and somehow moving the
merries the berries back and forth between its eyes and
then down into its mouth. Anyway, I told the kids
that its name was Sam and it was all colors,
and asked when it was a human, it said it
was not. When asked when it was a ghost, it's
reported to have answered, well, not really, but I am
in an odd sort of way, and all other questions
about it were answered solely with you know anyway. The
British UFO research associate recorded the details about this, and
the kids were insistent the disincount really happened for the
remainder of their lives, which did carry on because they
were not abducted and nothing horrible happens, so this is.
Speaker 3: Fun for the reams of their lives. I mean, if
there were kids in the seventies did something like your
horror fororic happen to them recently, they could.
Speaker 4: Still be well, they'd be like my husband was on
the Isle of Wight. I don't know if it was
in the seventies or the eighties.
Speaker 2: I think there were like ten and twelve when this
happened in nineteen only three, so they might have just
died of natural cigarette related courses. I don't know.
Speaker 3: They say it wasn't threatening, but it's like anybody who starts,
like when I start asking questions of like you know,
if the answer is you know, I'm gonna get a
little freak.
Speaker 2: Well. I think anyone back then who's talking to children
learned for half an hour is vaguely freending cool me
a mudy color.
Speaker 5: Starts that up and I'm going, oh gosh, look at
the time. Bye.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm trying to imagine kids who like
if something' is like, oh, I'm not threatening if like you,
if people attack me, I won't defend myself like most
kids would be like, get on, what kind of kids?
Speaker 2: Did you get the plate? You won't defend them? Stuff?
What a fucking idiot. But you know, if I was
just hanging out, like it's the seventies, uh, you know,
nobody's got smartphones and I think I'm just gonna wear
my clown costume, go hang out near the beach, you can't.
Speaker 4: Really berries with your eyes because.
Speaker 2: I'm really fucking high. And you know, if I decided
to do that, the two kids cover a log of like,
oh ship a wearing their parents? This is awkward, but
be like, you know you a ghost, I'd be like, yeah,
kind of guess maybe a little bit.
Speaker 4: Where were you in the seventies, Well, I was yet
to be conceived.
Speaker 2: But then again, he could have been a time traveler,
so it could still be me.
Speaker 5: It could it could, and I'm guessing he just put
the that the eyes maybe sat back a little from
the from the mask, and so he dropped it in
because the mouth wasn't open, and so he dropped it
in and then shook it around until they fell.
Speaker 3: Out where he probably probably down in LSD cubes and like, yeah,
these are berries, man, I'm a ghost.
Speaker 2: He forgot he was wearing a massive peppier mache head
that day to go out into the woods to get.
Speaker 4: Higher pol so he had to drop it in the
eyes to get the jujubs.
Speaker 2: I mean, wade was still illegal back then, so maybe
what he did is he made this puppy of actually
head so we could smoke a choice to get the
blowback and just sit there again super high. It's just
hot Box himself in peace in his own little glade.
The two kids come along, he's like ship like, oh wow,
an alien. Yeah that's right, but I'm a friendly alien
and I will not defend myself if a text And.
Speaker 4: What about the three fingers?
Speaker 2: Good point, Well, he's sholding a joint like this had
three fingers, apparently fingers.
Speaker 4: What if it's the lizard man on holiday wearing a
mask to look more human.
Speaker 2: He's terrible at making masks because he's a lizard man.
Maybe and at least but this guy is a pacifist,
and the other listen man was definitely attached.
Speaker 4: Only attacked cars, and the kids were not driving a car.
Speaker 2: He drove a car down, there would be I think.
Speaker 4: We've solved it.
Speaker 3: I'll get you, little fox.
Speaker 2: Anyway, The cryptid wiki gives several possible explanations.
Speaker 4: Oh, let's hear them and debunk them.
Speaker 2: A fairy ghost or have a type of paranormal or
supernatural creature, a robot, an extra terrestrial, a piece of
the child's imagination, or foley apparently as a thing the
French spiders have a word for it.
Speaker 4: What do the French spiders call it?
Speaker 2: Means a shared hallucination? Apparently a funny idea. But yeah,
right at the top of it is a human wearing
a costume, so way above like maybe these kids just
made some shit up and just carry it with for
the rest of their lives. For the reasons we can't
understand is maybe there was a guy out there who
was just wearing a costume and wanted to be left alone.
Speaker 4: It was actually just the prop maker from doctor practicing
like shit.
Speaker 3: The kids were so enamored of his like three fingers
in his weird head that they didn't realize the boner
like the reading cloud costume.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't have on this at all. Sex offender,
which would have been absolutely my first curse in ninety
seventies England.
Speaker 5: But you know, I've worked in a middle school for
a long time, and I will tell you that if
kids make up a story that they're if they commit
to a story to get one over on adults, they
will stay committed to that story until the end of
the known universe. So I can believe that these kids,
if they made it up, would would not vary from it,
so damn it.
Speaker 4: It probably would have been picked apart. So maybe it
was just the hot boxing dude in club.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, though, you're going to make something up,
all right, cool, You're going to make something up. You're
not going to go back and say, hey, mom, dad,
we saw a clown ghost robot with a Carreoki machine
and he was pretty chill.
Speaker 3: I'll teach you to make.
Speaker 2: If you're gonna make up stories, make up something.
Speaker 4: Probably this poor adult who's like, I don't want to
be on the sex offender list, so I'm not gonna
say anything.
Speaker 5: How do we know how old the children were? When
they saw him.
Speaker 2: Good point, let me let me look that down.
Speaker 4: Uh, because maybe this was a scaly.
Speaker 2: Two children to bring it back, and unnamed.
Speaker 3: Somebody dresses up as a clown is a funny.
Speaker 4: I love how you have such strong segregating ideas for
the furry community.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you, if they ever hired me to
run a convention, it'll run like clockwork.
Speaker 2: Well, it doesn't say how oh this is.
Speaker 4: A character does not need to have fur to be
a furry. A lizard or bird character that has all
those features could also be a furry, although they may
be called a scaly or an avian by.
Speaker 2: Other fairies who were like, get out of there.
Speaker 4: Oh god, I've looked this up. Pray for my search history,
Pray for my advertising. I am about to get.
Speaker 2: I cannot find the ages of these children, but apparently
Sam or all colors. Sam invited the children into his
metallic self made hut.
Speaker 3: Ah Boner again.
Speaker 2: Inside the quaint two floor hut, the children knows aspects
reflecting Sam's unconventional life, like his strange way of eating berries.
We've had that. Oh no, this one says, first inserting
them into his ear, then transfers ring him to his mouth,
viya his eye. The brief dialog left the children with
more questions and answers about who what sem truly.
Speaker 6: Was, No kidding, there are a lot of questions here.
Speaker 4: I think it was a dude in a costume.
Speaker 2: I think it was a dude in a costume. It
was just to build himself a little check where he
could be by himself, think eryoke and get high. Then
some kids came along and he had to and he
had to sort of like you had to come up
with something right.
Speaker 4: Maybe his first SONA was an alien.
Speaker 2: We've already we've already stretched a limit of furry. I
don't think we can have space ghost, robot clown. I'm
a furry too.
Speaker 4: The only rule to being a furry is to like
anthropomorphic animals and to call yourself a fray. Those are
the only two rules. I just looked it up.
Speaker 3: When I'm running the convention, there'll be more rules.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like some hippie bullshit. Sounds like in
needs a bit of a corraling. I'll just turn up
as a fucking space clown. Go I'm a furry too.
They'll rip you apart.
Speaker 4: Apparently they're more welcoming and all encompassing than you two.
Speaker 3: Well, the next convention in Boston you show up as
like a robot space clown and see what happens.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I am not going to the next
freak convention.
Speaker 3: Why not your goddamn robot space clown costume?
Speaker 2: As soon as they smell you're an imposta. That's it.
You're dead.
Speaker 4: I hate you all.
Speaker 2: We've met some weird things today. That was good. Angry
woman of a cat, possible lizard thing, just horrible spider.
Speaker 4: We know it wasn't the lizard thing dressed up as
the alien rob.
Speaker 2: We got angry woman with a cat, angry butterby farmer
holding an alligator, just conventional horrible spider.
Speaker 6: Fresh spiders, and just a guy who wanted to be
left alone to hang out in his costume in his
tiny mal hut.
Speaker 2: But he immediately knew how bad that looked when two
children walked in, so improvised. Yeah, I'm going to put
it out there. The sand down space clown ghost was
just a guy who did not want to be accused
of pedophilia.
Speaker 4: And if you're still around and listening, we love you.
Speaker 2: It's fine.
Speaker 4: You know you're really, the lizard man, we still love you.
We would just like you to stop wrecking people's cars.
Speaker 3: He little boy, you want to put your bury into
my ear, I can move it with my eyeballs.
Speaker 2: What well, that's well, that's a much darker explanation. All right, Well,
I hope everybody at home is suitably educated and prepared
for the horrifying mutant stare even now traversing the globe.
Speaker 4: I remember, the coconut crab is the current size limit
of an arthropod terrestrial in our current atmosphere, So at
least we.
Speaker 3: Have that dress up as a humanoid coconut crab. You
are not a furry?
Speaker 4: Yeah, actually, the furries may indeed welcome you. Please in
your call in the comments, help us out here and
settle this argument.
Speaker 2: I never thought I'd say this on the Internet, but
it sounds to me like the fairies need to be
a little bit more discerning.
Speaker 4: Can't they just have love and accepted?
Speaker 3: I would have seen them. You know something, We're not
letting the fucking crabbies in anymore.
Speaker 4: Throw the line at the crab Furry convention has crabs.
There goes the neighborhood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess they've been letting crabs in for quite
a while.
Speaker 4: Oh oh god, can you imagine if you got crabs
in a full fur? Oh?
Speaker 2: I can.
Speaker 5: Imagine?
Speaker 4: Can you go back to the French spiders?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what fancy people call crab. I'm the French Spiders.
Speaker 4: If you turn the Chicago Bulls logo upside down, it
does look like a robot fucking a crab.
Speaker 2: So space robot clown sucking a crab. Anything. If there's
anything that typified this podcast experience in an image, it's
surely there's.
Speaker 4: A robot fucking a crab. But yes, if you want
to turn the Chicago Bulls official logo upside down and
you too can see it, yeah, please you go. There's
your homework, listener, it's that I already looked up the
furry ship, so you don't have to, so enjoy that.
Speaker 2: And if you are listening to this on the Patreon,
remember that is this exclusive content is your reward for
supporting us, and thank you very much for doing so.
If we've put this out into the wild for some
fucking reason and you're watching on YouTube or listening to
on Spreaker, then this is an advertised and for you
to join our Patreon, where you probably could listen to
this months ago, and being suitably educated, you can walk
around all this time not knowing about all this ship
space clown, angry woman with cat bullshit. I bet you
feel like a right fucking chump. Go join the Patreon
man or cat lady.
Speaker 4: I've got French spiders, yeah, butterbeans and butterbean farmers with
attitudes atash scotash.
Speaker 2: Still can't believe that's a real thing.
Speaker 4: Ludicrous kit is a real word, and sucotash is a
real food. What else do you need to know?
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't want to know. That's enough for That's
enough for one podcast. Thank you. We'll see you next time.
Speaker 3: On the mail.
Speaker 4: I'll tell you how whales sleep.
Speaker 3: How fucking
Speaker 2: Bye