1 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: This is Pet Life Radio. 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 2: Let's talk pets. Welcome to Covered in Pet Hair, a 3 00:00:24,359 --> 00:00:27,440 blousy show for pet lovers on Pet Life Radio. I'm 4 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,039 your host, Isabelle Albert Sarana, and today I have the 5 00:00:30,079 --> 00:00:33,960 pleasure of having you drinking the chat with a dog trainer, 6 00:00:34,119 --> 00:00:39,600 consultant coach that's gonna help make your life so much easier. 7 00:00:40,119 --> 00:00:42,759 We're also going to talk about pet bereavement and if 8 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:45,399 you are not a dog trainer, not a pet professional, 9 00:00:45,719 --> 00:00:47,799 but you have lost a pet, you'll want to stick 10 00:00:47,799 --> 00:00:50,759 around because we have some really great ways to help 11 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,640 soothe your soul. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back 12 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,079 and introduce you to our guest today as soon as 13 00:00:56,119 --> 00:01:01,359 we hear from these messages from our sponsors. Hi, I'm 14 00:01:01,439 --> 00:01:04,920 Isabelle Albarezerata, the host of Covered in Pet Hair. You 15 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,719 know the expression cats have nine lives? Well, what if 16 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,120 you could give them one more? Give them ten? Movement 17 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,359 is on a mission to help give cats an extra life. 18 00:01:15,719 --> 00:01:19,319 How with SPEE and newter spaying and neutering, your cat 19 00:01:19,439 --> 00:01:22,879 helps them live a longer, healthier life and it helps 20 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:27,120 control three roaming cat populations too. Learn more about the 21 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,359 benefits of spe and neuter and meet Scooter the neuter 22 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,200 cat at give them ten dot org. That's give them 23 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,519 tean dot org. 24 00:01:40,239 --> 00:01:53,239 Speaker 1: Let's talk pets on Petlife Radio dot com. 25 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 2: Welcome back to Covered in Pet Hair. I'm your host 26 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,400 Isabel Albazerata, and today I have the pleasure of having 27 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,920 a drinking a chat with a pet parent an entrepreneur. 28 00:02:02,439 --> 00:02:05,879 She's a dog trainer, business coach. She's a coffee lover, 29 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:10,319 a tea drinker, a world traveler, and a Dungeons and 30 00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:15,439 Dragons nerd. She's originally from South Africa now lives in Canada. 31 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,319 She's dog mom to Fergus and her soul dog, Piper, 32 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,719 whom we will be discussing at length. She is a 33 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,680 second time guest on Covered in Pet Hair and she 34 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,159 is the owner of the business End of the Leash. 35 00:02:29,319 --> 00:02:34,560 In her business, she helps dog trainers create blended programs 36 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,240 so that they can actually live their life while also 37 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,400 helping pets. Her name is Aaron Moore. Welcome erin. It's 38 00:02:40,439 --> 00:02:41,759 so good to have you on the show. 39 00:02:42,039 --> 00:02:42,759 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. 40 00:02:42,759 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 2: It's so good to be back. 41 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 3: I'm really glad to be here. 42 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,039 Speaker 2: I am too. I know you've been traveling a lot 43 00:02:48,159 --> 00:02:51,120 I've been kind of following you a little bit. We're 44 00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:53,120 going to catch up and find out everything you've been 45 00:02:53,199 --> 00:02:55,479 up to since we last spoke. But before we do that, 46 00:02:55,599 --> 00:02:58,479 let me introduce our drinking game today. So anybody at 47 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:01,120 home participating in our drinking game. Anytime you hear this. 48 00:03:01,159 --> 00:03:04,879 Speaker 4: Word, the secret word is Piper. 49 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,879 Speaker 2: Take a drink of whatever you're enjoying, but please be 50 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,560 over twenty one in the US to partake, never drink 51 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,919 and drive, and always drink responsibly. So I know you're 52 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,800 not a big drinker. So what are you having today? 53 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,759 Speaker 3: I'm giving me some ginger ale, the best. 54 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 2: The best. That's that's my go to. If I'm not 55 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,000 feeling a cocktail, that's my go to. It feels, it 56 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:29,319 feels refreshing, it's not too sugary, it's perfect. Yep. I 57 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,080 am feeling like a glass of wine, which is often 58 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,879 how I feel, to be honest with you, I love 59 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,159 a glass of wine in the afternoon, and I'm having 60 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,960 my favorite pino gregio. It is actually I'm gonna share 61 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,479 this because we're right around the holidays and if you 62 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:47,759 are a Costco member, the Kirkland Pino Grigio is what 63 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,560 you need. For your holiday parties and celebrations. It's like 64 00:03:51,639 --> 00:03:54,039 six ninety nine and it's a crowd pleaser and it's 65 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,479 one of my favorites. So, I mean, we all know 66 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,199 that Kirkland brand makes good stuff, but this pino grigio 67 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,919 stands out. It's so and there's savignon blanc. Also if 68 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,159 you want to go a couple of dollars more awesome. 69 00:04:04,199 --> 00:04:06,319 This is not sponsored, just a little tip for you 70 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,280 boozy pet lovers like me. So I want to dig 71 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,840 into where you've been, what you've been up to, and 72 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,840 then once I know where you've been and what you've 73 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,160 been up to, I'm gonna introduce our first game. But 74 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,560 I feel like we can't just dive into that yet, 75 00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:24,480 and you give my audience just a little rundown of 76 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,160 who you are, what you've been up to. 77 00:04:26,519 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 3: Sure it ties in well with the bereavement topic, because 78 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,399 I don't think I would have done any of these 79 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,480 things if I hadn't been in the place of grief 80 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,199 that I was. You know, my life would have looked 81 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:38,360 very different. But I've been in like, oh, you know, 82 00:04:38,439 --> 00:04:41,240 existential crisis for like two and a half year, so 83 00:04:41,399 --> 00:04:43,560 in the grief, so I've been doing all kinds of 84 00:04:43,639 --> 00:04:46,759 adventury things, just trying to figure myself out and find 85 00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:49,079 out who I am and what I want to do. 86 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,879 And I took a trip home to South Africa and 87 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,959 I was there for a month, month and a half, 88 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,560 and then to Morocco there for a month, and then 89 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,319 to Malaysia there for a month too, And it was 90 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,600 uh yeah, kind of trotting around the world and experiencing 91 00:05:02,639 --> 00:05:07,920 different cultures and meeting you know, so many amazing, incredible, kind, 92 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:12,920 wonderful people who just are open to sharing their culture 93 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,480 and open to sharing, you know, their ways of doing things. 94 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,639 I learned so much about myself, but about other people. 95 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,279 I just I think it's a privilege, I know. But 96 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,079 if you can travel, I think it's really important to do. 97 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,480 We learn so much about ourselves and about how similar 98 00:05:27,519 --> 00:05:30,120 we all are as people, and how interconnected we really 99 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,000 all are, regardless of you know, where the birth lottery 100 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:33,959 has us being born. 101 00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 2: I love that the birth lottery. I talk about the 102 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,279 birth lottery a lot because I was born in Ecuador, 103 00:05:39,319 --> 00:05:41,920 but I was born to a very specific level of 104 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,720 education and societal influence and ecuadors, So I recognize my 105 00:05:47,079 --> 00:05:49,399 privilege in my and my luck when it comes to 106 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,959 the birth lottery often. Yep. So I know that you 107 00:05:53,079 --> 00:05:56,759 said that you were in an existential crisis because of bereavement. 108 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,279 Would you mind sharing a little bit about Piper, what 109 00:05:59,399 --> 00:06:01,560 she meant to you and what it was like when 110 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,279 you lost her. 111 00:06:02,639 --> 00:06:07,079 Speaker 3: Yeah? She was She was my absolute everything, you know. 112 00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:09,160 I she was the first dog that I had as 113 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,439 an adult on my own. I got her right after 114 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,879 I got divorced. She was the first healthy relationship I 115 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,120 ever had, you know. She was All of the big 116 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,240 decisions that I made in my life revolved around her 117 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,360 in some way. She came with me from South Africa 118 00:06:22,439 --> 00:06:25,399 to Canada. I started my first business because I was 119 00:06:25,439 --> 00:06:27,879 really tired of leaving her home, you know, and going 120 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,079 to work in corporate and so I started a dog 121 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,800 walking business. And then she was the reason I moved 122 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,279 into dog training, because she was getting tired of having 123 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,480 all these other dogs around her all the time. And 124 00:06:37,519 --> 00:06:39,240 then she was one of the reasons I moved into 125 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,800 coaching because she was getting older and I didn't want 126 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,199 to be operating a dog training a business the way 127 00:06:44,199 --> 00:06:45,800 we were told to and spending all of my time 128 00:06:45,879 --> 00:06:48,319 driving around to clients et cetera, and I wearing more 129 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,279 time with her. So all of these big decisions in 130 00:06:51,319 --> 00:06:54,480 my life were made in part, you know, around her. 131 00:06:54,639 --> 00:06:58,319 She was my touchstone. She was my biggest support in 132 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,759 everything and anything. She taught me how to have fun. 133 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,000 You know, there's a lot of I have a lot 134 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,480 of childhood trauma stuff that meant that, you know, learning 135 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,680 how to have fun was not something that I did 136 00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:10,959 as a kid because I was too busy surviving. So 137 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,120 she taught me just how to have fun and how 138 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,040 to enjoy life and how to be in the moment 139 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,000 and how to you know, she had such an impact 140 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,319 on she still does. You know, she has an impact 141 00:07:19,399 --> 00:07:23,279 on absolutely everything that I have done in my life. 142 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,759 And I tied up so much of that childhood trauma 143 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,879 with my relationship with her in so many different ways. 144 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,680 It wasn't even conscious at first, with I will provide 145 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,240 for you the life that I should have had. I 146 00:07:35,279 --> 00:07:38,000 will provide the safety and stability and security for you 147 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,879 that I never had. And I did, and you know, 148 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,839 things she needed pushed me to do things I didn't 149 00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:46,680 want to do to get there, you know, So she 150 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,720 just she impacted every single area and aspect of my life, 151 00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:53,879 and when I lost her, it was I didn't know 152 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,879 who I was without her. I didn't know how to 153 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,759 function as a human being without her, because all of 154 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,279 a sudden I had to make these decisions for me. 155 00:08:03,879 --> 00:08:05,959 I had to make the decisions about what I wanted, 156 00:08:05,959 --> 00:08:08,199 what was best for my life, rather than what was 157 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:12,319 best for her, what she needed, and just figuring out 158 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,079 who I was and what I liked to do with 159 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:18,040 my time, you know. So all of that was so new, 160 00:08:18,399 --> 00:08:20,959 and I'm still like two and a half years and 161 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,120 I'm still finding my footing. Yeah, I've got more solid 162 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,360 footing under me, for sure, more, you know, but there's 163 00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,560 still areas where I'm like, I don't know what to 164 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,079 do here. I don't know who I am here, I 165 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,919 don't know what is needed of me. I would know 166 00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:34,679 what to do if it was for Piper, but I 167 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,960 don't know what to do here. So it was incredibly 168 00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:42,200 like my whole world has ended, you know, and getting 169 00:08:42,279 --> 00:08:45,440 through the loss of the most important being in my 170 00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:48,399 life without the support of the most important being in 171 00:08:48,399 --> 00:08:52,480 my life was just this weird, messed up like I 172 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,519 don't even know how to do this. So it, yeah, 173 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,240 put me in an existential crisis. But it just it 174 00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:01,159 shifted how I view the world, I view business, how 175 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,799 I view absolutely everything, and how I view relationships. What's 176 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,440 important in life, what's not, what we spend our time doing, 177 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,840 you know, all of that stuff just was suddenly on 178 00:09:11,879 --> 00:09:14,679 the table looking at it, going well, that's dumb, and 179 00:09:14,759 --> 00:09:16,639 why are we doing that? And why am I spenny 180 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,799 time doing this? And what you know, So it's been 181 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,720 a whole relearning process as well. As we don't live 182 00:09:22,759 --> 00:09:26,000 in a world that is conducive for pet loss. It's 183 00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:30,679 not something that people understand, no magnitude of it. M 184 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,720 there's a lot of let's just get another dog, or 185 00:09:34,879 --> 00:09:37,799 you know, it's just a dog, or you know, there's 186 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,600 a lot of misunderstanding there around the level of loss 187 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,240 when the reality is like pet loss is often much 188 00:09:45,279 --> 00:09:49,519 more impactful for a lot of us than human loss, right, 189 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:53,080 because I'm resolutely different. You know, she's the being who 190 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,480 saw me at my absolute worst. Nobody else did, nobody 191 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,159 in my life saw me at that in that way 192 00:09:58,279 --> 00:10:01,120 she did. You know, she's the being who you know, 193 00:10:01,879 --> 00:10:05,080 knew me to my core because she lived with me 194 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,919 every single day and she went through all of those 195 00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:11,440 hard times, and that's not a loss that is easy 196 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,879 to adapt to, especially not in a world where people 197 00:10:13,919 --> 00:10:15,120 are like, just get over it. 198 00:10:15,279 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 2: You're not over it already. 199 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,639 Speaker 3: It's two years and you're still upset about it, Like 200 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:22,240 what you know, that kind of attitude that exists a lot. 201 00:10:23,159 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 2: Well, I think a lot of people have that attitude, 202 00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:27,879 either because they've never connected to a pet on the 203 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,799 level that you were connected to Piper, or it hasn't 204 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:34,159 happened yet, like they will at some point get it. 205 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,440 And I think whether you believe in God or the 206 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,840 universe or whatever, I feel like life has a way 207 00:10:38,879 --> 00:10:41,960 of teaching us lessons. And the more we judge a 208 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,679 situation without understanding it, I think the more likely we 209 00:10:45,759 --> 00:10:48,879 are to kind of find ourselves in that situation one 210 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,480 hundred percent. 211 00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 3: I get like, anecdotal evidence of my life is that 212 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,960 the situations where I'm like, I don't get it, I 213 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,480 don't understand why, and then a year later I'm like, 214 00:10:57,519 --> 00:11:00,879 I get it now, okay, like exactly, and I'm sorry 215 00:11:00,879 --> 00:11:03,519 for the judgment because now I gotta be I really 216 00:11:03,519 --> 00:11:06,000 am careful with what I judge because I really don't 217 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,159 want God or the universe or karma to come back 218 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:13,759 and be like, remember when you were talking all that nonsense, come. 219 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 2: Back to reality. Yes, well, I actually I love that. 220 00:11:17,519 --> 00:11:21,200 We just talked about how it is sometimes more monumental 221 00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:23,519 to lose a pet than a human because of the 222 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,840 kind of like the nuance of the relationship, which is 223 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,200 very different than the relationships that we have even with 224 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,519 our closest loved ones of the human kind. And I 225 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,559 want to invite you to play a game where you 226 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,639 give me your opinions. I looked, I used AI to 227 00:11:38,759 --> 00:11:42,600 give me kind of like a comparison between bereavement kind 228 00:11:42,639 --> 00:11:47,240 of benefit and bereavement resources for those who have lost 229 00:11:47,279 --> 00:11:50,879 people and those who have lost So I call this 230 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,840 game this versus that bereavement edition. So I just want 231 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,799 your input, like your thoughts on these statements. Here we go. 232 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:07,840 Traditional bereavement typically arranges from three to five days of 233 00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:12,919 leave for immediate family members, whereas pet bereavements, when available, 234 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,879 is generally shorter, with most companies offering one to three days. 235 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:18,960 What are your thoughts on that. 236 00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:22,519 Speaker 3: I think that neither of those is long enough period 237 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,320 of time for something that big, right, and it's just 238 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,919 an indicator of how we value money over people in 239 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,120 our society and expect people to just go through these 240 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,720 huge fricking traumas and then come back to work like 241 00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:39,320 nothing happened five days later or three days later. That's 242 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,000 my first thought. 243 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:44,039 Speaker 2: Yeah, well yeah, an immediate family member five days? Yeah? 244 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,480 Like who how like your body, house, your parent, your child? 245 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:48,360 Five days? 246 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,759 Speaker 3: You're not even over the shock of it in five days, 247 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,600 never mind even starting to grieve effectively. 248 00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 2: Like, no, I think it's and we should really include 249 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:58,919 pets in that immediate. 250 00:12:59,639 --> 00:13:01,960 Speaker 3: Percent as they are they are not your family. 251 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, Like I understand you not giving me five 252 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,840 days if my mom's dog dies, but like if it's mine, like, yep, 253 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:12,799 it is immediate family and I need to have the time. Okay. 254 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,600 Next one, Traditional bereavement leave is widely offered and often 255 00:13:16,639 --> 00:13:20,120 mandated by law in many countries. PEP bereavement leave is 256 00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:23,440 still relatively uncommon, with only a small percentage of companies 257 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:27,720 offering formal policies. I found three companies kimpt in Trupanion 258 00:13:27,799 --> 00:13:30,159 in Mars and I do I have a friend who 259 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:34,960 made who said that, Uh, the USDA, because they obviously 260 00:13:35,039 --> 00:13:39,879 work with animals agriculture, they do have some you know, flexibility, 261 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,240 So I'll shout out to those companies. But what are 262 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,080 your thoughts about it being so uncommon? 263 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 3: I mean, it doesn't surprise me with my own experiences 264 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,919 and what I've seen in the world around it. But 265 00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:51,720 I think it's, as with a lot of things in capitalism, 266 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,759 it's very short sighted because you you know, if you're 267 00:13:54,879 --> 00:13:58,799 expecting people to just push through something that they can't 268 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,799 push through like that, they're not going to be the 269 00:14:01,919 --> 00:14:03,679 level of productive you want them to be. They're not 270 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:05,159 going to be the level of focus that you want 271 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,679 them to be, and they're sure as hell not going 272 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,240 to be the level of committed to you that you 273 00:14:08,279 --> 00:14:10,039 want them to be. When you're showing that you don't 274 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,919 give a shit about this huge thing that they are 275 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,320 going through and dealing with. 276 00:14:14,399 --> 00:14:17,559 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I can't agree. More Like, I feel 277 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,039 like sometimes I have a stressful day and I can't 278 00:14:20,039 --> 00:14:22,960 focus and it's not a it's not a huge loss, 279 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,759 and it's not you know, something monumental, but like, I 280 00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:28,039 am just not productive. So what's the point of me 281 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,279 being at my desk at that point? I've got to 282 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,080 get up and walk away. And obviously I work for myself. 283 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,080 You work for yourself, and we have that ability, but 284 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,799 when you're sitting and especially in like an office environment 285 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,919 with people like chit chatting and giggling over here, and 286 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,879 you're going through this huge life experience, it's got to 287 00:14:44,919 --> 00:14:48,879 be so hard and so frustrating and so debilitating in 288 00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:52,279 many ways. Of course. Yeah. The next one is loss 289 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,320 of human family members is universally recognized as a valid 290 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,159 reason for ton off. PET loss is gaining recognition, but 291 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:03,519 many employees still feel hesitant to request time off without 292 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,720 explicit policies in place like can I get the day 293 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,000 off because my dog died? Like it just does a 294 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,399 hard conversation have well, especially when we're in that grief 295 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:16,039 at the time, right, because when we're in that grief, 296 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,120 we're also not thinking the way we would have been 297 00:15:19,279 --> 00:15:23,240 not in that grief, or able to handle conflict or 298 00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:24,879 rejection in that way. 299 00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 3: You know that where we would normally be able to 300 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,600 handle it, we are at our most vulnerable when we 301 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,480 were in that piece of grief. So it makes sense 302 00:15:31,519 --> 00:15:34,039 to me that people would be hesitant when they're in 303 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,960 that place to be able to reach out. And again, 304 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,519 I think it's bullshit because we should be able to 305 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,320 all of our feelings. We should be able to talk 306 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,240 about them, We should be able to express that, we 307 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,240 should be able to ask for these things without a 308 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,320 fear attached to it. And it reminds me of a 309 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,000 friend of mine. Actually, she her heart. 310 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:52,399 Speaker 2: And soul dog. 311 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 3: This was like twenty years ago, passed away and she 312 00:15:55,279 --> 00:15:56,720 told her boss, I need a day off and he 313 00:15:56,799 --> 00:15:58,759 was like, no, it's a dog. So she's like, okay, 314 00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:01,360 I quit and she left because she just couldn't. She 315 00:16:01,759 --> 00:16:03,639 was lucky enough to be in that situation, but she 316 00:16:03,679 --> 00:16:05,919 was like, I couldn't. How could I sit there? You know, 317 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,279 my whole world was shattered? How could I sit there 318 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,159 and you know, make sales for like I forget what 319 00:16:11,159 --> 00:16:12,679 even what it was that she was selling. It's like 320 00:16:12,879 --> 00:16:15,679 it was not important. It did not matter in that moment. 321 00:16:15,799 --> 00:16:18,720 And the fact that they didn't value me enough at 322 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,360 that time that I needed they judge whether it was 323 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,720 important enough meant that I didn't need them, and I was, okay, 324 00:16:24,919 --> 00:16:26,480 good for her, Good for. 325 00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:29,919 Speaker 2: Her because right now this is actually the next comment 326 00:16:30,039 --> 00:16:33,879 I have is traditional bereavement policies are typically well defined 327 00:16:33,919 --> 00:16:38,559 and formalized, as well as an expected cost for businesses, 328 00:16:38,639 --> 00:16:42,039 they just expect it to be something they have to cover. 329 00:16:42,279 --> 00:16:45,159 When it comes to pet bereavement policies, which are often 330 00:16:45,279 --> 00:16:49,799 less formal, some companies can offer flexibility without written policies, 331 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,600 but they actually can lead to improve morale and retention rates. 332 00:16:54,159 --> 00:16:57,000 So it's a bad business decision to not let your 333 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,320 friend take the day off. 334 00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:01,559 Speaker 3: Yep, it absolutely if you, And I mean, we're seeing 335 00:17:01,559 --> 00:17:03,559 this more and more and more just with the shifts 336 00:17:03,559 --> 00:17:08,000 in our worldview and since COVID, you know, the shifts 337 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,680 in how people view work and capitalism and all of that, 338 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,319 where people are just like, we're not valued at work, 339 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,920 so why are we going? 340 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,359 Speaker 2: Right? Like, I have to work how. 341 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 3: Many jobs to make ends meet and get treated like 342 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,759 and feel liketion? So why am I doing it? And 343 00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:23,240 it just falls into that same category. If they don't 344 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:27,119 value you as a person, why would you value them 345 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:27,799 as a company? 346 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,119 Speaker 2: Correct? Absolutely, last one. As more millennials and Gen X 347 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,640 individuals who have high rates of pet ownership enter the workforce, 348 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,279 the demand for pet bereatment policies is likely to grow. 349 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:40,799 I would agree with that, would you. 350 00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:45,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I can see that too, and especially in West, 351 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:49,240 the Western world, where so many people in those in 352 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,960 that demographic are choosing not to have kids, like an 353 00:17:52,039 --> 00:17:56,680 intentional choice not to have kids, and instead are having pets. Yeah, 354 00:17:56,759 --> 00:18:00,599 that absolutely makes sense to me. With those those groups 355 00:18:00,599 --> 00:18:02,759 of people that there's going to be more of a 356 00:18:02,799 --> 00:18:05,759 need for it. Also, you know, with you know, millennials 357 00:18:05,759 --> 00:18:09,160 and younger, we're also more emotionally aware. We're more you know, 358 00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:11,680 aware of how important it is to feel our feelings 359 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:15,000 and you know, express our feelings and grieve properly rather 360 00:18:15,079 --> 00:18:17,240 than you know, just suck it up and push through. 361 00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:20,599 So that also makes sense, you know, from that generational perspective. 362 00:18:20,759 --> 00:18:23,440 Speaker 2: Exactly. I know, I hear a lot of older generations 363 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,960 be like everybody's stressed out and everybody's anxious these days. 364 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,839 I'm like, no, you all were too, but you weren't 365 00:18:28,839 --> 00:18:30,440 able to talk about talk about it. 366 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:30,920 Speaker 3: Yep. 367 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,839 Speaker 2: Exactly, we have the ability to speak about these things, 368 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,319 and hopefully we have families and friend groups that allow 369 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,440 us to express our feelings unlike they did fifty years 370 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,559 ago when it was like, yeah, I don't want to 371 00:18:43,559 --> 00:18:45,880 hear about that. Something's wrong with you. If you can't 372 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,160 get out of bed right, shake it off and get 373 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:52,359 pull yourself up by your bootstraps exactly exactly right. So 374 00:18:52,759 --> 00:18:57,240 tell us a little bit about how Hyper's loss impacted 375 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,920 you professionally, because I'm sure that, like we just both, 376 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,799 you weren't as motivated to know run your business and 377 00:19:03,839 --> 00:19:07,680 be an entrepreneur. It really derailed a lot of your plans, 378 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,839 I'm sure. So tell us how it affected you first, 379 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,240 just so that I think people can relate to what 380 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:16,599 maybe you were feeling and how you kind of took 381 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,839 on in a few days or months that followed that loss. 382 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,880 Speaker 3: It was like everything in my life, including my business, 383 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,039 became I wasn't quite sure what the point was. I 384 00:19:29,079 --> 00:19:31,839 wasn't quite sure what the point of any of it was, 385 00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:36,720 because what did anything in the world matter without her, right, 386 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,640 especially given how tied in with everything she was. And 387 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,039 I think for pet professionals this is a really big 388 00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:44,799 one too. Pets are part of our business right right. 389 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,200 They're part of They're on our business cars, they're in 390 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,519 our logo, they're in the company name, they're on our 391 00:19:49,559 --> 00:19:52,279 market like they're everywhere. They're business partners as well. 392 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 2: They're the reason many of us started it, exactly. 393 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 3: Right, And so there's a level of grief there that 394 00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:03,039 was also so different because I know for some people, 395 00:20:03,319 --> 00:20:05,759 like work is an escape from the grief, and they're 396 00:20:05,799 --> 00:20:07,480 able to kind of go and you know, their dog 397 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,440 wasn't a part of that, so they're able to just 398 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,119 compartmentalize it. But for me, and I think for a 399 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,759 lot of peppers, I wasn't able to do that because 400 00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:16,359 she was the reason for it. She was on everything, 401 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,599 She was everywhere, you know, in my business. And that 402 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,119 tide with just the feeling of like what is my 403 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,640 purpose as a human being, Like what is the point 404 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,200 of any of this really made it hard to want 405 00:20:28,279 --> 00:20:31,000 to push and grow my business, you know, to want 406 00:20:31,039 --> 00:20:34,960 to do like the running of the business stuff, you know. 407 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,400 And I had an unfortunate incident too where there was 408 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,960 some that happened with some clients, like weeks after Piper 409 00:20:41,079 --> 00:20:43,039 passed as well. That just like sent me in a 410 00:20:43,079 --> 00:20:46,839 tailspin about people and you know, trusting people. 411 00:20:46,519 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 2: In relationships and stuff like that. 412 00:20:47,839 --> 00:20:51,079 Speaker 3: And it also formed another like barrier for me between 413 00:20:51,079 --> 00:20:54,640 the ad I wanna like none of this matters at all, 414 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,240 you know, all that matters is her. 415 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:56,839 Speaker 2: So it was. 416 00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:01,400 Speaker 3: Really from an emotional standpoint, it was hard to get 417 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,039 my head to a place of I still need to 418 00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:06,440 do this stuff because there's going to come a time 419 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,319 where I'm going to come out of this and I'm 420 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,720 going to feel differently. And if then I want to 421 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,759 burn down my business and walk away, fine, but right 422 00:21:14,799 --> 00:21:17,400 now is not the time to make that decision because 423 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,279 of where I'm at, you know, So I really had 424 00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:21,160 to do a lot of work of like which we're 425 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,599 putting this decision off for. Then. 426 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 2: Wow, that's impressive. That's very impressive that you had the 427 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,680 kind of composure at the moment, for lack of a 428 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,200 better word, to remind yourself amidst that chaos and that 429 00:21:34,279 --> 00:21:37,279 grief that it wasn't a good time to make decisions 430 00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:39,559 because a lot of people will just and this happens 431 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:41,319 to me where I just like, I'm like, I can't 432 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,799 and I push things away when they're too difficult, and 433 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,160 whether or not I can pick it up later, whether 434 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,039 or not I regret it later, I just kind of 435 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:53,799 take that protection at that moment and maybe shoot myself 436 00:21:53,799 --> 00:21:56,799 in the foot as a result because I just can't 437 00:21:56,799 --> 00:21:58,920 take anymore. So that was really great because I do 438 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,920 think you have so I've always followed you, and I 439 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,720 think you have so much to offer the pet community 440 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,759 at large. Obviously you work specifically with pet professionals, but 441 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,960 I know that you have a lot of followers that 442 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,440 are not pet professionals who just connected with you because 443 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,519 of that pet loss that you really shared. You put 444 00:22:14,519 --> 00:22:17,960 yourself out there. You instead of holding it in, really 445 00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:23,920 went to social media and to your work and shared 446 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,079 your story, which is not easy to do, especially when 447 00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:28,240 you're in the throes of the grief. And I want 448 00:22:28,279 --> 00:22:32,279 to learn more about how you self soothed right as 449 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,519 the last two and a half years have gone by. 450 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,599 What ways helped at the beginning, what ways helped now? 451 00:22:37,799 --> 00:22:39,400 But we got to take a break right here. We're 452 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,240 going to hear from our sponsors, and when we come back, 453 00:22:41,599 --> 00:22:43,799 I'll invite you to a play a game I've called 454 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,240 Soothed the Soul. So don't go anywhere. I'll be right 455 00:22:46,279 --> 00:22:47,240 back with Aaron Mark. 456 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 4: You know the expression cats have nine lives? Well, what 457 00:22:54,319 --> 00:22:56,839 if you can give them one more? The Give Them 458 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,920 Ten Movement is on a mission to help give cats 459 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,720 and extra life. How with spee and neoter spain or 460 00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:08,680 nootering your cat helps them live a longer, healthier life, 461 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,359 and it helps control free rolling cat populations. 462 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 3: Too. 463 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,519 Speaker 4: Learn more about the benefits of spe and neuter and 464 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:21,160 meet Scooter, the neutered cat at Give them ten dot org. 465 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,680 That's give them t e n dot org. 466 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:32,119 Speaker 3: Let's talk past, Let's done Pet Headline Radio. 467 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 5: Catlin Radio dot com. 468 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 2: Welcome back to Covered in Pet Hair. I'm your host 469 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,839 Isabelle Alberzarana, and today I'm speaking to Aaron Moore and 470 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,960 she is a dog trainer turned dog training coach turned 471 00:23:54,039 --> 00:23:57,519 grief counselor for so many of us online because she 472 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,319 shared her story about her profound loss with her soul 473 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,799 dog Piper. And right now I'm gonna invite you to 474 00:24:03,799 --> 00:24:06,400 play erin a game I've called Suit the Soul, where 475 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,720 I'm gonna give you one minute to tell me ways 476 00:24:09,799 --> 00:24:14,359 that you would recommend a pet parent or pet professional 477 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,640 who's going through a monumental loss like yours was with Piper, 478 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,920 how they can find some kind of piece in the 479 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,200 pain and in the grief. Are you ready to play? Yes, 480 00:24:26,279 --> 00:24:28,119 Let's go three two one go. 481 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 3: Bristley is find the right people to be around, because 482 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,039 there's gonna be a lot of people who don't get it, 483 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:34,720 and if we waste our time and energy trying to 484 00:24:34,759 --> 00:24:36,839 make them get it. It just makes everything harder to 485 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,759 find the right people who already get it. And these 486 00:24:38,759 --> 00:24:40,880 are the people who it doesn't matter how many times 487 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,440 you need to cry about it, how many times you 488 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,000 need to talk about it, how many times you need 489 00:24:44,039 --> 00:24:45,759 to say the same thing, that is part of the 490 00:24:45,759 --> 00:24:49,079 process talking about it, crying about it, feeling those feelings, 491 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,599 not packing it up and putting on a brave face 492 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,119 and going yeah, I'm fine, and then you're dying inside 493 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,839 and ten years later you can't even look at a 494 00:24:55,839 --> 00:24:58,559 picture of your dog because you haven't processed your grief. 495 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,119 I did a thing that I called tapping a tear duct, 496 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,880 which is I found a movie or a song that 497 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,519 I knew would make me cry, and I put it 498 00:25:06,559 --> 00:25:08,240 on so that it could send me into the crying, 499 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,720 which would send me into the grief, and then I 500 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,519 could process and come out the other side of it. 501 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,680 Because my Instagram, I don't want to cry. It sucks, 502 00:25:14,839 --> 00:25:17,039 I don't want to be in this place, but knowing 503 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,440 that we have to feel it to get through it, right, 504 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,720 So that's the first thing. Find creative outlets for you, 505 00:25:22,759 --> 00:25:25,440 whether it's something like taking an improv class, D and D. 506 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,559 I cannot recommend enough for grief because you get to 507 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,200 roleplay out whatever you're feeling in a safe way. You 508 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,359 get to say whatever the hell you want, feel whatever 509 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,319 you want, do whatever you want in a way that 510 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,799 really is accepted and embraced by you know, the people 511 00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:41,920 playing and the storyline. And it really allows you to 512 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,200 explore thoughts that may not be safe to explore without 513 00:25:45,319 --> 00:25:47,440 the protection of it being in a game. Right. So 514 00:25:47,519 --> 00:25:49,640 D and D was huge for that. 515 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,359 Speaker 2: That is so cool. Well, we're out of time, We're 516 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,559 out of time. But tell me more, tell me more. 517 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,240 One more therapy if you. 518 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,160 Speaker 3: Can, if it's if it's feasible for you, Like again, 519 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,599 in just a safe where you can understand grief, you 520 00:26:02,599 --> 00:26:05,599 can understand the process of what it is. Because we 521 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,920 get sold so much about what our feelings are and 522 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,720 what they should be, and so if we can understand 523 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,440 what the grief process actually looks like and that it's 524 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,119 actually really normal, you know, then that can help a lot. 525 00:26:16,559 --> 00:26:18,559 And don't try and forget your dog like that was 526 00:26:18,599 --> 00:26:20,640 a big one. One of the reasons I dove into 527 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,559 speaking about her so much was because how I agrieve 528 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,960 previously was so different. I did pack it all up. 529 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,759 I did put it all away. I did because I 530 00:26:27,799 --> 00:26:30,240 just needed to move on and survive. And then I 531 00:26:30,279 --> 00:26:33,119 never processed it. Like my mom died when I was thirteen, 532 00:26:33,319 --> 00:26:36,200 and I remember in my twenties being like. 533 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,559 Speaker 2: You totally affects me. I heard you ever think. 534 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:42,160 Speaker 3: About her, not realizing that that's actually the office that 535 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,720 it was affecting me so much as I wasn't thinking 536 00:26:44,759 --> 00:26:48,160 about her right And I didn't want to relegate Piper 537 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,839 to like a memory of the past because I didn't 538 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,279 want to feel the pain. And that happens so much 539 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,160 for people, so like turn into it and talk about 540 00:26:56,200 --> 00:27:00,240 them and keep your connection with them, because they're never gone. 541 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,240 They're not physically here, but they're always here and depending 542 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,880 on what you believe spiritually, and I do believe spiritually 543 00:27:06,039 --> 00:27:08,200 that they are around waiting for. 544 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 2: Us, you know. 545 00:27:08,839 --> 00:27:12,160 Speaker 3: And I stayed connected to that so much, you know. 546 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,920 I did some consultations with a animal communicator, and I remember, like, 547 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,319 I'm I have doubts about a lot of animal communicators, 548 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,160 but I think some people definitely have away with it, 549 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,279 and some people are just Charlatan's I'm trying to make money. 550 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,519 But what I was able to tell myself was it 551 00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:28,839 doesn't really matter. If I get what I need from it, 552 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,440 Who cares If they're Charlatan, who cares if they don't. 553 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,119 If I get what I need from it and it 554 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,440 helps me, then I'm going to do it. You know, 555 00:27:35,599 --> 00:27:39,359 So whatever things people might judge you for, if it's 556 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,880 going to help you, go do it absolutely. 557 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,960 Speaker 2: Absolutely. And the therapy also, I will say, I know 558 00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:49,200 that there's a lot of people who are anti taking 559 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:53,400 anything to help you soothe, but therapy and then telling 560 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,519 your therapist if you maybe need some kind of medical intervention, 561 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,880 and there's no shame in that. There's no shame in 562 00:28:00,079 --> 00:28:04,160 asking for something. I remember I had terrible postpartum anxiety 563 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,400 and you know, they kept doing the test for me 564 00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:08,440 and I kept being like, yeah, I'm good, But the 565 00:28:08,519 --> 00:28:10,559 test didn't ask the right questions because if they had 566 00:28:10,599 --> 00:28:13,119 asked me if I was having any intrusive thoughts, they 567 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,039 I would have been like, oh yeah, but the test 568 00:28:16,079 --> 00:28:18,720 didn't ask about that at that time. Hopefully it asks now. 569 00:28:18,799 --> 00:28:21,200 So it's hard. So that's why it's so important to 570 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,400 talk to a therapist that gets you or a friend 571 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,920 that gets you. And if somebody tells you maybe you 572 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,519 need to see somebody about getting on something either even 573 00:28:29,559 --> 00:28:32,799 just periodically as you adjust to your lost. Please listen 574 00:28:32,839 --> 00:28:36,599 to them. We have too much shame around mental health 575 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:40,319 and mental health medicine and mental health solutions and talk 576 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,559 therapy and psychiatry and all of that. It has its place, 577 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:47,640 and pet bereavement is not the exception, like it really 578 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,279 is not. I was so thankful for having, you know, 579 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,960 already been treated for anxiety when my Titan passed, because 580 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,160 I feel like I did not have that kind of 581 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,359 horrific reaction to his loss that I would have normally had. 582 00:29:02,839 --> 00:29:07,079 And I was on the anti anxiety medication since my 583 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,039 second was born, just because of the post part of anxiety, 584 00:29:10,079 --> 00:29:13,160 so it's kind of a nice little bonus of being 585 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:17,920 on that medication. So I definitely, you know, use your resources, guys, 586 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,799 use your resources. There's no shame in it. 587 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,799 Speaker 3: There's a fine line between using resources like that to 588 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,000 avoid our feelings and using it to be able to 589 00:29:27,079 --> 00:29:29,000 manage and cope with our feelings and in a way 590 00:29:29,039 --> 00:29:30,720 that actually allows us to move through them. 591 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:35,319 Speaker 2: So exactly, exactly right, absolutely, And you know, one of 592 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,880 the things that I always want people to know is 593 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:42,319 that it is just as monumental as everything else. So 594 00:29:42,519 --> 00:29:46,440 if you were to lose a pet traumatically unexpectedly, the 595 00:29:46,519 --> 00:29:48,759 loss is the same as a mother who loses her 596 00:29:48,839 --> 00:29:52,319 child unexpectedly traumatically, and you wouldn't judge that mom for 597 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,000 doing whatever she needed to soothe her broken heart. So 598 00:29:55,119 --> 00:29:58,079 just remember that these things are available to you. And 599 00:29:58,359 --> 00:29:59,880 one of the things that I want to talk about 600 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,880 as we end this show is how pet professionals, and 601 00:30:05,279 --> 00:30:07,960 even if you're a pet parent listening pet professionals, we 602 00:30:08,039 --> 00:30:11,119 really connect to the pets in our care, and sometimes 603 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,359 it's not even our own pet that we lose and 604 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,839 really affects us. I remember when I was a professional 605 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,759 pet sitter having to be there when a cat was 606 00:30:20,799 --> 00:30:23,240 put down because he had thrown a clot. His parents 607 00:30:23,319 --> 00:30:26,319 were traveling, I was taking care of him. I had 608 00:30:26,319 --> 00:30:28,240 to be present. It was the first time I ever 609 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:32,160 had to do to be in a euthanasia situation, and 610 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,359 I remember feeling so emotionally drained for months after that 611 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,000 and having friends that didn't get it. So what advice 612 00:30:40,079 --> 00:30:43,160 do you have for those pet pros who really do 613 00:30:43,279 --> 00:30:46,359 get so attached to these animals in our care and 614 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,079 maybe the people in their life, are like, it's not 615 00:30:49,119 --> 00:30:50,599 even your dog. Yeah. 616 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,839 Speaker 3: Again, it's the same advice, right to talk to people 617 00:30:52,839 --> 00:30:56,039 who do get it. It's allow yourself to feel it, 618 00:30:56,119 --> 00:30:58,599 and even if other people don't get it, allow yourself 619 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,680 to feel it anyway, because it's because the concept of 620 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,720 ownership of a pedicodumb anyway. Like, if you have a 621 00:31:04,759 --> 00:31:07,200 connection with an animal, it doesn't matter whether they live 622 00:31:07,279 --> 00:31:09,200 in your house and you're the one feeding them or not. 623 00:31:09,279 --> 00:31:11,640 It's a loss. It's a loss that you are going 624 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,119 to feel like any other and that's normal and that's okay. 625 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,559 And make sure that you're doing all the things that 626 00:31:17,599 --> 00:31:20,000 you can to take care of yourself for that loss too, 627 00:31:20,079 --> 00:31:21,920 whether they're your dog or not. 628 00:31:22,319 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 2: Absolutely, And should their clients be like, let's say that 629 00:31:25,759 --> 00:31:29,839 it's a dog trainer who you know works with clients 630 00:31:29,839 --> 00:31:32,200 one on one, what do they tell their clients? Should 631 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,359 they be honest saying like I just don't have it 632 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,279 right now? What did you say? 633 00:31:36,799 --> 00:31:40,079 Speaker 3: That's where I was like, incredibly grateful. I mean, if 634 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,359 I end up branding down my business a year from 635 00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:44,960 now and doing something else, I will always be grateful 636 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,359 that I had a blended program set up because it 637 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,160 allowed me to take the time that I needed. It 638 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,720 allowed me to I could focus on the clients that 639 00:31:52,759 --> 00:31:56,559 I did have, But because there are so many places 640 00:31:56,599 --> 00:31:58,759 within a blended program that they can get support that 641 00:31:58,839 --> 00:32:01,519 isn't directly from me, it also gave me the space 642 00:32:01,559 --> 00:32:04,079 that I needed. So I was working. You know, the 643 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,720 first like week, two weeks, I didn't work at all, 644 00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,160 and I just told my clients and I was like, 645 00:32:08,279 --> 00:32:10,559 you know, done. But then after that, I was working 646 00:32:10,599 --> 00:32:13,279 two hours a day just to meet my client needs 647 00:32:13,279 --> 00:32:15,599 because they were paying me for that. But I didn't 648 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,920 need to do anything else because the business was set 649 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:19,640 up in a way that took care of itself to 650 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:23,160 do that, and it's sustained for till now, like it's 651 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,240 still sustaining, right, So, like that is one of the 652 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,519 things that get home for me why blended programs are 653 00:32:29,519 --> 00:32:32,680 so important for dog pros because it gives you the 654 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:37,119 space to take that time without having to sacrifice the money, right, 655 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,599 because none of us should have to make the decision 656 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,319 do I a grieve or do I go and get paid? 657 00:32:42,359 --> 00:32:44,720 Like that is such an awful thing to have to do. 658 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,759 And when you have a blended program set are properly, 659 00:32:46,799 --> 00:32:50,000 you don't have to make that choice. You can do both. So, 660 00:32:50,279 --> 00:32:53,039 like if you're in a place where you know you 661 00:32:53,119 --> 00:32:55,400 know it's coming, because it's going to happen for all 662 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,680 of us, but you're not there right now, now is 663 00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,759 the time to make sure that your business is set 664 00:32:59,839 --> 00:33:02,400 up in a way that you can take that time 665 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:06,240 without your clients having to be left kind of hanging 666 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,519 and waiting for you. 667 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 2: Right right because all of us we go in to 668 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,519 help the pets, so we don't want to leave them 669 00:33:11,519 --> 00:33:13,839 a pay So can you for those that are listening 670 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,440 and aren't really familiar with blended programs, can you describe 671 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:16,839 them for me? 672 00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:19,559 Speaker 3: So, a blended program it's a combo of like a 673 00:33:19,839 --> 00:33:23,119 of a couple of online components where your clients are 674 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,319 doing a lot of the learning, the learning theory, the 675 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,640 exercises that they need the why behind things. They're learning 676 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:33,240 that online and they're getting feedback from you via like video, 677 00:33:33,839 --> 00:33:36,559 so that by the time you work face to face 678 00:33:36,599 --> 00:33:38,720 with them, whatever that face to face looks like, they 679 00:33:38,759 --> 00:33:42,079 already have that info, they already have practiced it. And 680 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,240 basically you're spending your in person time proofing the behavior 681 00:33:45,319 --> 00:33:48,000 with them and helping generalize it with them and rather 682 00:33:48,039 --> 00:33:50,720 than sitting, they're trying to teach them something new in person. 683 00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:54,880 And so, you know, it has benefits in so many 684 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,799 different ways, but one of the biggest ones is your 685 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,759 time isn't required for your clients to be learnlearning, but 686 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,920 you're there to help them through the process. You don't 687 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,200 lose that personal connection that you have with them. 688 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like a really great way to get 689 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,039 some freedom for life, because life happens, like you know, 690 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:15,280 you have kids, you have an aging grandparent, you hurt yourself, 691 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,079 you end up in the hospital with appendicitis. There's so 692 00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:20,440 many things that can happen. And when we are as 693 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,960 a person who provided services for twelve years, I had 694 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,119 a team and we kind of backed each other up. 695 00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:28,719 But a lot of businesses pet pros are not set 696 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,159 up that way where even if they did have a backup, 697 00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:33,159 it wouldn't be for a long term, right, Like they 698 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,719 might have somebody to help them one day, but not 699 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,159 necessarily for the weeks that follow this accident or incident. 700 00:34:39,559 --> 00:34:42,760 So it sounds like such a great way to kind 701 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,760 of like have a little bit of an insurance on 702 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,480 somebody's business. 703 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,119 Speaker 3: So that you can take the time when you need it, 704 00:34:48,159 --> 00:34:52,039 because we are not meant to just work, pay bills 705 00:34:52,039 --> 00:34:54,159 and die. That's not our purpose, that's not what we're 706 00:34:54,199 --> 00:34:57,239 here for. And just because we're in a helping profession 707 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,800 where we get a lot of value and a lot 708 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:03,199 of like our purpose comes from helping others, doesn't mean 709 00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,239 that we shouldn't have a life too, or that we 710 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,960 shouldn't be protected to be able to take the time 711 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,519 that we need when we need it, whether it's for 712 00:35:09,559 --> 00:35:14,000 an injury or family issues or bereavement or whatever. We 713 00:35:14,159 --> 00:35:16,480 have to live as well as be business owners. 714 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,159 Speaker 2: The Blended program will be there for you when you 715 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,199 need it or when you really just want want. Yeah, 716 00:35:21,519 --> 00:35:24,400 so that's exactly so I think that's such a great idea. 717 00:35:24,559 --> 00:35:27,800 How can my audience learn more about you? Please mention 718 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,960 your TikTok and all the things that you do on 719 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,480 social media so that you know, somebody can even if 720 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,239 they're not dog trainers and they're not necessarily interested in 721 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,920 a coaching situation. I do want people to know that 722 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,639 you're a great resource, just even if they go back 723 00:35:40,679 --> 00:35:44,000 to the beginning and watch old videos and kind of 724 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000 connects there. 725 00:35:45,039 --> 00:35:49,119 Speaker 3: Well, I'm on TikTok dog biz Coach. I'm on Facebook 726 00:35:49,119 --> 00:35:51,280 as well, same thing, dog biz Coach. My website is 727 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,760 dog biz coach dot com, and I talk very openly 728 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,920 about business stuff, about grief, stuff about trot me, stuff 729 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,559 about I genuinely believe that, you know, we part of 730 00:36:01,599 --> 00:36:03,639 our purpose here is to connect with other people and 731 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:07,440 share our real experiences so that we let other people 732 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,920 know that they're not alone. So yeah, if you know, 733 00:36:10,039 --> 00:36:13,039 if anybody is, whether it's grief or business or whatever 734 00:36:13,159 --> 00:36:15,639 dog stuff, please come and join the community. 735 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's such a human just connection to you, 736 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,519 Like I feel like even before we have I had 737 00:36:21,559 --> 00:36:23,320 you on the show, I could just feel how like 738 00:36:23,679 --> 00:36:27,039 really genuine authentic you are, and how you don't put 739 00:36:27,079 --> 00:36:30,559 up like these pretense, like a pretensive You don't tell 740 00:36:30,599 --> 00:36:33,199 people you're okay and you're not. And I think we 741 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,280 can all learn a lot from that. So that I 742 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,880 just want to propose the test to you for being 743 00:36:39,039 --> 00:36:42,519 that person, being a light and letting the dark come 744 00:36:42,599 --> 00:36:45,199 whenever you're feeling it, so that we can all recognize 745 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,440 that we are all creatures of light and dark, right 746 00:36:47,519 --> 00:36:50,000 we are. Some days are good, some days are bad, 747 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,440 and that's okay. So teers to you, thank you for 748 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,400 you I get thank you so much my pleasure. I 749 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:58,000 want to propose a test to my executive producer, Mark Winter. 750 00:36:58,199 --> 00:37:00,519 Thank you Mark, and to our audience. I hope you 751 00:37:00,599 --> 00:37:03,840 found some peace in this conversation. I know for sure 752 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,039 many of you related to Aaron. I know I've been there. 753 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:10,360 And if you don't get it, let's hope you never do. Right. 754 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,199 Let's hope that you don't ever understand what we're referring 755 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,000 to in this episode. But I think a lot of 756 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,199 you do. And I hope you find your healing and 757 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:22,079 I hope you soothe your soul. So here's to you all, 758 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,719 take good care of yourselves. Here's to a life covered 759 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,960 in pet hair, because there's no better way to live, 760 00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:30,400 you cher cheers. To learn more about Covered in pet Hair, 761 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,039 please visit Covered in pet Haair dot com or pet 762 00:37:33,119 --> 00:37:35,639 Liferadio dot com. Thanks for watching, and I'll see you 763 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:36,119 next time. 764 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: Let's Talk pets every week on demand only on Petlifradio 765 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:54,039 dot com