Speaker 1: You are now listening to soft core history. What is up?
Speaker 2: Welcome back to softcore History.
Speaker 1: I am your host for the week, Rob Fox, joined
as always by Dan Regester.
Speaker 2: Just a normal November day.
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful November day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where my beanie. The weather is finally turned here
in Austin, Texas.
Speaker 1: If you want to know what the weather's like outside,
just look at Dan, because it looks like you just
got done working some Irish doc or some Boston or
Philadelphia doc.
Speaker 2: I always go like, full Mariner.
Speaker 1: It was a gray rainy day and you look like
you just got done with work on a gray rainy day.
Speaker 2: With in my lighthouse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, work in the Lighthouse.
Speaker 2: But no more spooky season.
Speaker 1: Too bad too, because even though this is not a
spooky episode today, this this might be more horrifying than
anything we.
Speaker 2: Talked about during Spooky Bob. That's history though. Yeah it's
mostly a horror fest.
Speaker 1: There truly is a literal shit show. Yeah it's insane,
but you know we're talking.
Speaker 2: It's usually blood and shit all the way down.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, this involves a lot of blood and probably
presumably a lot of shit too.
Speaker 2: If I had to guess, people poop themselves before they die.
Where as they die. Yeah, not only does all the
DMT get released from your brand, but so do your bowels.
Speaker 1: I think I think it's related. I think you feel so.
Speaker 2: Good ayahuasca people poop themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's the same thing. You're actually having a
great time.
Speaker 2: Are your buddies that go down to Peru or some
weird church out in West Texas that do ayahuasca or
I began they ship themselves.
Speaker 1: A shit and not just shit, not like a log.
Speaker 2: And then they rolled in it for like eight hours. Yeah,
as they just trip balls and then they try to
tell you how they're better than you. Well, yeah, they
killed the ego, and then another ego rises from the ashes.
Speaker 1: A stronger, a much stronger egos from the ashes. Yeah,
today we are a little doubly fitting. One because it's
more horrifying than anything we did in Spooky both in
my opinion. And two, it's a we're talking about a sport,
good old sports ball in a way that's my least
favorite person on the planet, I believe, being too good
for sports.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sports ball. And then he's just like bread and Circuses, man,
bread and Circuses just trying to distract you. It's like,
good man, I want a distraction.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like they don't need to distract you because you're
a fucking moron.
Speaker 2: We're doing this show as we're watching a game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how we can do both.
Speaker 2: That's how good we are. Yeah, we're pros.
Speaker 1: Today we are talking about.
Speaker 2: A sport game.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you want to call it. That
was it's extremely pain for me to talk about.
Speaker 2: So it has to be about like Kansas basketball and no, no, no,
doctor James names.
Speaker 1: No, no, we don't. I don't acknowledge that man or
that state, uh Canadian. We're talking about the not Enlightenment era,
just barely pre Enlightenment era, so like sixteen seventeen hundreds,
early seventeen hundreds. The sports or game of fox tossing.
Speaker 2: Man. Oh so it's your literal name. Yeah, yeah, your
spirit animal. You'd assume. Yes, I see foxes kind of
run around here all the time. Now there's I want one.
Speaker 1: They're sweet.
Speaker 2: They are once you know, Chase kicks the bucket, which
is any day now, sorry, Bud, Just that's how time works.
I would probably wait like six months and I'm maybe
pick myself up with fox.
Speaker 1: So Allegedly they smell like absolutely I know, and hiss everywhere,
but like somebody's just got to breed that out of
regine code them because apparently they're like a dog, you
litter box trade.
Speaker 2: Allegedly, they have become more and more friendly to humans
and they're trying to like domesticate themselves. They're in like
the midst of an evolutionary same.
Speaker 1: Way wolves were patterned one hundreds of thousand of years ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're like, we're almost there with foxes, so give
it another I don't know, thousand years or so.
Speaker 1: They did do that in Russia. They it was like
a fifty year experiment where they're trying to domesticate foxes,
and they essentially just like caught like a hundred and
had all the nice ones bang each other and discarded
the mean ones.
Speaker 2: Gotta get those genes out, and then just kept.
Speaker 1: Having the nice ones their kids bang each other discard
the mean ones.
Speaker 2: From that, they must have done that with circus bears.
Speaker 1: No, you would think, but I've seen enough videos to
know that's not true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they at least now have the ability to
ride a tiny little motorcycle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but they will kill when they get the opportunity.
Speaker 2: That's like ten times smaller than their bodies. Yeah, they
jumped through like a little hoop of fire.
Speaker 1: Yeah, talented animal, but they honestly, they do want to murder.
Speaker 2: We don't give bears enough credit for what they say
that bears sit down and appreciate moments. So like landscapes,
they see something beautiful from nature. Yeah, they'll take their
time and just appreciate where they are.
Speaker 1: Well, I like that. I mean elephants have a religion.
They've seen elephants worshiping the sun.
Speaker 2: Dude. Elephants are vindictive creatures. There's stories about them going
into like Indian towns, funerals and stuff, Yeah, and just
getting redemption for Yeah, they killed the guy because they're
fucking with them.
Speaker 1: Then they find the funeral and go to that.
Speaker 2: And then they stomp all over his corpse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which respect. But fox tossing in German known as
Fuchsprenden which means fox bouncing, was a competitive blood sport.
It blew up in Europe, like I said, in the
seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. It was real big with the
aristocrats of the Holy Roman Empire, of course it was.
And in regions like Saxony, Prussia and Austria.
Speaker 2: I don't really get down with the Holy Roman Empire.
No one does. They stink, No one does there. They're
not a reflection of our church.
Speaker 1: No, and I've never once played as them in Medieval
two Total War. I'll just pass every time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, no thanks, they're boring.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing, nothing that gets my rocks off.
Speaker 2: Hol in Lithuania, Get them out of here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fake as fuck. So fox tossing kind of started
as an informal and then formal almost like basically a
pregame for big like royal hunts. Sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like a nice little warm up.
Speaker 1: It's how you kick off the the hunting season or
the hunting weekend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, before the party starts and the boys play a
couple of games of flip cup beer pong yep, just
getting the tables warm fox toss, Little fox toss.
Speaker 1: Yeah. They would also do it before social gatherings as well.
So it's a pre game. This is a pregame activity.
Speaker 2: Is and it involves real foxes. Oh yeah, the name's
quite literal.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's extremely They.
Speaker 2: Couldn't do what the dumb ass Scots did or was
it the Welsh that roll a wheel of cheese down
the hill?
Speaker 1: Nope, Nope, I had the murder that only hurts the
participant had the murder.
Speaker 2: Critters, We should, honestly, when we do our travel show
one day, participate in that cheese wheel hill thing. I
think we should fox toss. We might get some complaints
for that, Yeah, might not make air.
Speaker 1: Maybe how ethical is it to if you're going to
enjoy another culture And I'm just specifically talking about if
we ever went to the Dominican Republic.
Speaker 2: Go to a cockfight. Listen, we're just taking it in. Yeah,
we're not. We don't even have to participate, you know. Yeah,
we are just watching and it's gonna happen whether we're
there or not.
Speaker 1: Right, we can't stop it.
Speaker 2: If we intervene, that's almost worse.
Speaker 1: It's colonialism.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're stopping their traditions, their beliefs.
Speaker 1: We're white savoring them or something. Yeah, you gotta let
them cockfight. By my favorite thing, when Petro mart they
try to get Patro Martinez of all people in trouble
for going to a cockfight during the winter one time.
It's like, first off, this man is untouchable, Like he's uncancellable. Yeah,
this was pre cancel culture, but he's he was uncancellable.
Big Poppy was probably there too. Oh, my Big Poppy
was before he got shot. He was banging a drug deal.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Big Poppy's been to cockfights. Yeah, like, there's no question
in my mind he has seen a rooster disembowel another rooster.
If you are.
Speaker 2: Banging one of the biggest drug dealers on the islands,
you know, Mommy or whatever, he probably met.
Speaker 1: Her at a cock fight. He probably threw out the
first cock.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, they're they're chickens. Come on, it's like I'm
gonna eat them later.
Speaker 1: Yeah, is it really? That's not a bit anything worse
than we do to them now a.
Speaker 2: Dogfight, that's that's a different story, different story. Yeah, these
are chickens. We eat chickens. Yeah, it's they're fine.
Speaker 1: So by the late sixteen hundreds, oh and often it
would be men and women that would do this, sometimes
in mixed pairs. So by the late sixteen hundreds it
has spread across like not Germany, but like German speaking
lands to include like Austria and stuff like that, and
got even into some other European courts, I think, including
like Poland and stuff like that. And it became, like
I said, a pregame not only for hunts, but for banquets, masquerades,
all sorts of stuff. Charles the sixth of Austria was
big into it. So here's how it worked. Before we
get into some stories.
Speaker 2: Stead of course they were all into it. And this
is another thing that drives me nuts because it kind
of spans into the early nineteen hundreds, especially with the
English where they do all these like hunts, yeah, and
all these things that they kind of criticize Americans for.
Now it's like, Doug, you were who we got the
ideas from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're just two hundred years behind you empire wise.
Speaker 2: So for some reason the British just like are appalled
also by the notion of hunting. Now. Although here's the
other thing.
Speaker 1: Two a fox hunt, you're not eating that fox like,
you're just going out there to kill shit.
Speaker 2: You're getting pelts.
Speaker 1: So don't yell at some redneck for killing an elk. Yeah,
he's gonna sustain his family, he's gonna turn into a
mountain of meat.
Speaker 2: The New Natives they use every piece of the body.
Speaker 1: It's Honestly, what's funny is is it's a very expensive hobby.
Getting a fucking deer or.
Speaker 2: Elk like hunting is elitist as hell at this point.
Speaker 1: A little bit.
Speaker 2: You go to a bass pro shop, a Cabella's. Yeah,
you're you're not leaving that store without spending at least
five hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so here's how it worked.
Speaker 2: It's so boring though, I couldn't get into it. My
dad tried his hardest. Yeah, took me on hunts from
like ages eight to thirteen. Sitting a deer stand. Obviously
it's coming up deer season in Pennsylvania December. It's first
week of December, as cold as hell. You gotta wake
up at five am. Yeah, you're sitting in a tree
stand with your old man. Can't talk to him, no,
because you don't want to scare off the deer. Nope,
and then you don't see anything.
Speaker 1: I guess nowadays people could do it alone, listen to
a podcast or some shit, but.
Speaker 2: Put your headphones in. Yeah, dude, I feel like that's
how you get flagged. But just somebody else, Well, what
are you wearing? Not paying attention?
Speaker 1: Wearing a deer hat? You're gonna stand. Where are they
shooting at the stand? Listen, you can't have a stand
in your line of fire.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but some of the people up there I just
would not trust.
Speaker 1: I'm totally fair.
Speaker 2: I feel like I've almost been shot going hunting. I'm
not gonna name names. Your dad it wasn't my dad, okay,
and it wasn't my godfather, but it was my godfather's kid.
Speaker 1: Well I don't know his name, so it doesn't matter.
So here's how fox tossing worked. It's a team of
two and they would stand on either end of this
long like claw that was about twenty to twenty five
feet long, So think like a cloth about like.
Speaker 2: A foot or two feet wide, and.
Speaker 1: They're standing on it either it's twenty twenty five feet long.
You know how like when like someone's on a sheet
and there's like twenty people and they're throwing them in
the air. It's like that, but with two people. So
what happens is they're in an enclosed area, like an
enclosed little courtyard or whatever, and an animal or animals
is released into the enclosure. Typically it was a fox,
but they would also do rabbits, badgers, beavers, wildcats, sometimes
I'd look it up.
Speaker 2: I guess lynks are in Europe. Listen, you're taking your
own life in your hands. If you're messing with beavers,
as we well know, they'll come for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they would also do it they wanted to. If
they were even feeling a little more hardcore, sometime they
would do bores or wolves. Yeah, but foxes were the
main the main an.
Speaker 2: Foxes just seemed like such an easy target.
Speaker 1: They're light, but there I think there's like a cunningness
to them that makes you think like you're doing something.
Speaker 2: Slives a fox exactly. Yeah, but you're not really in
any danger. Foxes aren't gonna do a damn thing to you.
Speaker 1: Think about you and they do.
Speaker 2: Oh no, he broke my nail.
Speaker 1: You don't want to get bitten by a fox, especially
if it's got rabies or some shit.
Speaker 2: Listen, we all have rabies, we just a little bit.
Speaker 1: It's like rabies is actually, uh all that HPV is.
Speaker 2: We're about five years away from rabies being a performance
enhancing drug that influencers are gonna tell you to get
in order to boost your tea.
Speaker 1: You don't waste time drinking water your energy all the time.
You just grind, grind, grind, can't sleep.
Speaker 2: You're an animal mode. I broke my leg, didn't notice.
You just kept going, just grinding, dude.
Speaker 1: So they would they would wait for the animal to
walk or run, depending on how scared it was, across
the fabric, and then the pair would you know, yank
yank it up as fast as they could.
Speaker 2: At the same time, you're at a summer camp. You
get that giant parachute out. Yeah, you're just kind of
going up and down, up and down, but there's there's
now a fox in the middle. Yes, and you're just
slinging it.
Speaker 1: Yes, And that's what you try to do. You try
to toss it as high in the air as you can,
and you are awarded points.
Speaker 2: For how high, for how high you get it, as
long as you catch it though. Nope, it's just it's
a sheer carnival game. Yes, where you're just trying to
get to the top of the bell. Yep, Okay, this
is there's gotta be a little bit of skill involved.
This doesn't sound like a ton There.
Speaker 1: Is skill involved. You got to catch it right at
the right time.
Speaker 2: It should be how high you can throw it, but
then also maintain it catch it.
Speaker 1: I think getting it clean is harder than you think.
Speaker 2: Which is why it should be part of the game.
Well on the skill, not a game, a chance.
Speaker 1: You see, they often didn't have time to catch it
or a chance to catch it because also in the enclosure,
usually we're waiting pack of hounds that would run in
and rip the now crippled animal to pieces as it
hit the ground.
Speaker 2: So like the least fun rodeo clowns imaginable. Yeah, they
come in to clean up. Yeah, not great.
Speaker 1: And again this was a fancy party pregame. Just so
we're clear here.
Speaker 2: Well, the hounds are hungry. The hounds are hungry.
Speaker 1: They always are. They probably starve the hounds too, Yeah,
I'm sure they starve that house.
Speaker 2: Like, No, don't worry, dude, we got a fox toss
coming up in two weeks. They'll be they can make it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll be fine. So any animals that survived both
the hounds and the fall itself, because they often died
in the fall, would just be clubbed to death at
the end of the competition.
Speaker 2: I mean, if you get captured in ne're a fox
and this sporting event, you're not making it out alive.
Speaker 1: No, literally no, so you have to imagine the picture
at the end.
Speaker 2: They not have a shortage of foxes. You know how
if they go too long in a baseball game, like
say eighteen innings or so, they almost run out of baseballs. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
and the game just has to end or like they'll
have to go to the stands and be like, yo,
we need to need those baseball specks that you caught
the foul balls?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: How long does it take to gather the amount of
foxes needed to participate in a fox tosk? Look, I
don't think you do this on a whim.
Speaker 1: It's planned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's not like a weekly thing.
Speaker 1: No, no, God, it's for big events. Again, a lot
of it's like hunting season or if you have a
big banquet you're coming up in a month or two.
You know, was like, oh, well we should probably kick
things off with a fox toss.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They're not breeding foxes, they're not keeping them, They're
just going out and catch them. Okay, I guess that's
the skill to itself, is just being able to have
enough foxes for the fox toss.
Speaker 1: Yes, the real skill, And most fox tosses, I don't
think we're like horribly big. You know, maybe you got
twenty thirty foxes.
Speaker 2: There's such a cute animal, dude. I can't do this
with bores, bores sounds.
Speaker 1: They did do it with some bars sometimes, and we'll
get to that. But you have to imagine the end
of one of these. Essentially, you've got crippled foxes dragging
themselves away from hounds on their front line.
Speaker 2: I don't want to imagine this. This is grotesque.
Speaker 1: There's blood and viscera everywhere, just like fox intestines strewn about.
Speaker 2: I now want to do this to you for putting
in the image in my head for these poor animals.
I have a soft spot.
Speaker 1: Told you it was worse than anything listening about spooky Bud.
Speaker 2: We can talk all about your children, heard in other children, right,
But when we come across sixteenth seventeenth century foxes, that's
where I traw a lone.
Speaker 1: No go gets you. It's a soft spot. The events
would last hours, uh and again the bigger ones included hundreds,
if not thousands, of animals.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it would be themed, be a theme, a costume party,
theme party.
Speaker 2: Listen. I'm a sucker for a good theme. I love
dressing up. Yeah, you know, Halloween just came by. We
have the ren Fair coming up. You should we have
worse Fest too? What a month? What a month for me?
And dressing up?
Speaker 1: You should actually propose a fox toss at the rent Fair.
Speaker 2: Go old school, Yeah, yeah, do something on the catch
a fox that could be our exclusive content. Where we
first must procure the foxes. Yeah, then take them in,
get them inside rent Fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, get them in the little combat arena that they have.
Speaker 2: I'm just not gonna do that, all right, fair enough.
Speaker 1: The animals would also be dressed up in costumes sometimes too.
Speaker 2: Okay, so, like I mean, it wouldn't makes sense then,
but right now, you throw them in like a little
Rocketman suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, put him, put him as
an astronaut. Just send them into the stratosphere.
Speaker 1: Fifths and then you know, obviously.
Speaker 2: They look cute while they get mangled exactly like, Oh
he's flying, covers up the blood and broken bone.
Speaker 1: He's flying. Oh he's not flying anymore. Oh he's not
walking anymore.
Speaker 2: Even foxes aren't meant to fly. No, I think Sonic,
even in Sonic, he tails just kind of spins his
his tail, but he doesn't really, he can't float that long.
Speaker 1: He Yeah, it's like Mario with the raccoon costume is
more of a float situation.
Speaker 2: So yeah, he just says hops.
Speaker 1: Obviously, sometimes in these events, the animals weren't the only
ones getting it. Believe it or not. Wild animals want
to survive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they're gonna do everything. They're on a scratching claw.
They're not just gonna willingly go out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And the big mistake that people, I guess often made,
the foxes really didn't do much. They would bite sometimes,
for sure, But the animals that really got their money's
worth were the wildcats.
Speaker 2: Okay, so links I guess what we would know as
like Texas bobcat. Yeah, yeah, that kind of size.
Speaker 1: Yes, they would have those in there as well.
Speaker 2: Those are nasty fucks though.
Speaker 1: They're mean as shit, and they were notorious for because
they have claws so they would be able to cling
to the sling and not be tossed. And there are
many such stories of them absolutely fucking people up in
the ring. And we'll get to something.
Speaker 2: I like that better. Because the fox really has no
defense for itself. It'll bite, it's not gonna do much damage.
But a little bobcat yeah, little Bobcat's going to mess
you up.
Speaker 1: One account describes a courtier losing an eye to a
wildcat's swipe.
Speaker 2: An angry wildcats swipe. They don't they don't call it
off for an ipoke.
Speaker 1: Well, here's what happened. He's in the ring, screaming with
his eye dangling out of his face.
Speaker 2: Everyone else is laughing at him.
Speaker 1: The Emperor Augustus of I think the Holy Roman Empire
Augustus too, Augustus the Strong, he's the second I believe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he's the one that uh took on our
boy in Sweden.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he as the man was screaming with
his eye dangling around, laughed and gave a toast and
equipped that it would add character to the man.
Speaker 2: Also, why was he referred to as Augustus the Strong?
He was I think a fat fuck.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe he was strong before he was
fas like Robert Brathean type of situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he also had like the powdered wig and
just a weird look, just.
Speaker 1: The style of the day. These did die out in
the late eighteenth century, so around the American Revolution, when
the Enlightenment kind of came about. And people wanted to
be more quote unquote civilized. Voltaire hated it, and it
was largely completely outlawed across Europe by the early eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2: How many years did it have though, about one hundred
and fifty Maybe took a hundred and two years out
all this. Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1: Jesus, so let's get into some stories of some big
fox tosses.
Speaker 2: You know what it is. It's on the fox of
for not really being like a symbol in christiendom. It's
not if it was, if it had more of a
place in the Bible. I don't think we're doing this
to foxes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't don't even know if the fox gets
any play in the Bible virtually non. Let me see,
is a fox ever mentioned in the Bible.
Speaker 2: Gotta think they're around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's mostly been leads. I'm just wondered wondering. Yes,
foxes mentioned in the Bible in the Old Testament Judges,
in the story of Samson, the Song of Solomon, and
in the New Testament when Jesus compares his lack of
a home to the layers of foxes. Apparently it's used
to symbolize destruction cunning and the importance of watching out
for small problems that can cause bag.
Speaker 2: Say they have a bad rap, that's why they're getting tossed. Yeah, yep, man,
just years and years of bad propaganda against Fox has
led to this.
Speaker 1: I'm obviously, I've no one's been more affected by it
than me. Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 2: It was, honestly, why this show's not succeeding. I can't
trust you a man named good Christian Man?
Speaker 1: Yeah, uh, it is a very common Jewish surname.
Speaker 2: So maybe that's why. Oh bad time for that.
Speaker 1: We had a Fox and a Goldman on here.
Speaker 2: And that one percent of Portuguese jew inside my blood. Yeah, yeakes,
they've caught on.
Speaker 1: Yeah Israel, if you're listening, they already think we're taking
your money.
Speaker 2: So check hasn't cleared. I want my seven thousand dollars. Yeah,
all right.
Speaker 1: So here's the big Fox tosses through I history. The
first one is called the Dresden Massacre, which obviously a
more famous Dresden massacer happened later, but this one had
the title for a while.
Speaker 2: I mean, one of the odds I know, right, they
gotta work on the SEO. Yeah, if we're on the
United States military and government right now. I'm doing my
darndest foxtass. Yeah. First thing that pops up when you
Google search Dresden, Massa.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, see some little CIA chud intern needs to
get on that immediately. So this was one of the
largest recorded fox tossing events and it was hosted by
Augustus the Strong Augustus the Second as well as in
the courtyard of the Dresden Castle. So over the course
of the event, it was estimated up to six hundred
and eighty seven foxes, five hundred and thirty three rabbits,
thirty four badgers, and twenty one wildcats were hurled toward
the sky and ripped apart by dogs if they even
needed to be ripped apart.
Speaker 2: So it's like a little frisbee thrown catch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So they would throw it up and the dogs
try to catch.
Speaker 2: It before it hits the ground.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, more or less.
Speaker 2: Do you get bonus points for that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. If you get it into a dog's mouth, yeah, no, Okay,
one wonders, Well, one would think I would have hoped
you done the research.
Speaker 2: It didn't didn't. There's no bonus.
Speaker 1: The only point system I was given was height.
Speaker 2: I mean, right now, we have all these advanced metrics,
right there were eye test guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. A boy, how I'd loved to moneyball a
fox toss.
Speaker 2: It'd be easy, dude. Going back in time would be
just such a simple pleasure for us. We would crush,
we'd take over. Yeah, we'd run a gambling ring, would
we for all these games? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, for this certainly. Although it's like I don't remember
what happened in like a Cincinnati Reds game in nineteen
ninety three. I could tell you every World Series winner
from eighty five to present.
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, so if we go back to eighty five,
I can we can place futures on every World Series winner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then you're just doing something back to the
future bs. Yeah, I know. I'm not even saying that.
I'm saying we can go back in time and probably
use our minds to run a book. Yeah, okay, just
we don't even know to know what happened. Yeah, but
we could figure it out and probably best these guys.
Speaker 1: We just figure out like the on base percentage or whatever,
you know, that type of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the advanced metrics of fox sauce.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, yeah, this guy isn't the biggest. You probably
think the bigger guy is gonna throw it higher. You'd
be wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look at him. He's fat, but he's got skinny arms.
Speaker 2: You want a guy that could slingshot easy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want Honestly, they're probably devaluing leg strength. Like
probably only looking.
Speaker 2: At arms, but you also want to wirey tall man. Yes, length,
you want some length on them. I agree ing span
is gonna be a real factor. Yes, oh, one hundred percent.
And I don't think they take that into account. No.
Speaker 1: You also, I think probably want the two tossers to
be relatively proportional.
Speaker 2: You want them to work in unison, be on the
same page. Yeah, also got to figure out, like, I
don't know what's their relationship. Is he banging the other
guy's wife?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we gotta hope they're both good clubhouse guys.
Speaker 2: The chemistry inside the locker room's good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. So Augustus himself joined in, and to
show off that he was Augustus the Strong, he reportedly
gripped his end of the sling with just a finger
and a thumb.
Speaker 2: Flip of the wrist flung it up, but.
Speaker 1: He did have two people on the other side kind
of doing the work for him.
Speaker 2: Okay, so little glory Hound exactly. As a finale, who's
gonna speak against him? Though? No one, No, They're like, oh,
good job, you're the best. Although actually no, Augusta is
the second. The reason he was kind of going after
Sweden and that that piece of land the Great Northern
War was set off with was because he was trying
to get the the back end and the support of
his people, because they didn't really see him as a
great leader. Here's too busy fox tossing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, too too much wine, too much, too much pleasures,
not enough.
Speaker 2: Pull in Lithuania to the name's too long, that's just
too long, a nightmare. Just just call it Poland.
Speaker 1: It's a horrible name. Yeah, you gotta just shorty to Poland.
I don't care if Lithuania is part of it or not.
It's got to just be Poland. So as a finale,
a grand finale, thirty four young bores were released into
the enclosure, and the bores obviously immediately went insane.
Speaker 2: Well, they're impacts. Yeah, it's easy to get bores. You
go to West Texas out here, you can come across
thirty to fifty in packs and you just train age.
That's my favorite, I think internet moment in the last
ten years.
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do when thirty bores run
through my property?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Because but people were like, what do you need
a you know, automatic weapon for? It's like, well, or
a semi automatic weapon. It's like, you ever come across
a bore a whole pack boards like thirty to fifty
I don't even know if.
Speaker 1: It's called a pack, but it doesn't matter, doesn't Yeah,
you get the idea.
Speaker 2: It's like, how am I supposed to gun these down?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: We're supposed to go out there with a sword, just
start chopping the bow and arrow. That would be sick.
That would be pretty down there. With a katana blade
just taking heads off. They'd get you though, eventually. Yeah,
you're gonna your stamina. Everyone overestimates their stamina in a fight.
Imagine you're gonna be gased within fifteen seconds cutting these
these boys heads off.
Speaker 1: Dude, go go watch an blade. Go watch any tennis
match and look how gassed the professionals are after a
twenty point rally.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then your life's in danger. Yeah, yeah, you're
in the midst of all this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and obviously any idiot's gonna go in there, and
like overswing boors.
Speaker 2: Also, they kind of climb on each other like it's
World War Z.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're crafty.
Speaker 2: That's why you have to get in the helicopter gun.
Speaker 1: You gotta do it from yeah, from do it from it.
They're not gonna Yeah. So the boars ran through, and
I guess there were a bunch so women partok in
this too, and I guess there were a bunch of
women in hoot noble women in hoopskirts in the enclosure,
and the boars just went in there and start fucking
shit up. They were goring their legs up ending the
scoop hurts, they were shrieking and like, oh my god,
what the fuck's going on? The crowd is dying laughing
at the whole thing, and then to take care of
the boars.
Speaker 2: Listen, people being injured when they're not supposed to. It
is always it's a timeless gag, never not funny. That's
America's Funniest home Videos had a twenty year run there
where it's just people getting hurt.
Speaker 1: Like bad, fairly badly, not like, you know, horrific, but yeah,
some pretty solid.
Speaker 2: Injuries.
Speaker 1: So to take care of the boars, and this was planned,
they then released three wolves into the enclosure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you want to take care of the boors,
you release some wolves. Sorts itself out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then of course at the end, all the
animals that were there and still alive were club to death.
Speaker 2: Okay, including the wolves. Oh yeah, the wolf they did
they clean out the problem for you, and then that's
how they're there's still a problem.
Speaker 1: So you gotta then handle that.
Speaker 2: It's essentially just the opening scene of the Dark Night.
You got to just take out every single guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, until you're the yeah to your last love. So
the next one is Leopold the first Vienna Bloodbath in
March of sixteen seventy two. This event was held in
his like opulent gardens in Vienna's hop uh Hofburg Palace,
I should say the palace, yeah, the Hofburg Palace. And
it was a contest among fifty pairs of nobles.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so a fifty person competition, so many animals.
Speaker 1: It's a fuck ton of animals.
Speaker 2: So Leopold the first was usually pretty like because these
are teams of what like three to four teams of two.
I think usually Augustus.
Speaker 1: You're right, yeah, one guy on each side. So Leopold
was actually a pretty pious guy by all accounts, like
pretty not conservative, but we were reserved, to be a
way to put it. But for whatever reason, is.
Speaker 2: That what pious means? What I've never used, pious.
Speaker 1: Means more like religious or whatever. But I don't know
if you. I mean, obviously they are I know.
Speaker 2: Pope pious. They were all religious.
Speaker 1: But I think he was both pious and like a reserved.
Speaker 2: I think I never used the word pious in my
life because I just have such childhood trauma from Cyo basketball. Uh,
Pope pious. The school around us would always just the
ever living shit out of us in basketball, in basketball.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we don't think we had a pious in
Saint Louis. I'm trying to think the school that really
gave us the.
Speaker 2: Most shit pious was like a richer school. Yeah. I
didn't care for him.
Speaker 1: Why because they were better than you in every way?
Yeah you thought, baby, the poor blue collar school will
scrap their way to a win.
Speaker 2: Show these It's like you guys are a representation of Delco,
Like get out of here, go to fucking Montgomery County
where you belong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is bullshit, So piet or Leopold I should
say sorry. Normally, like a reserved guy, was like, I
want to get in on this. He wasn't going to,
but halfway through was like, I'm gonna I want to
get I want to do this shit.
Speaker 2: So he again, if it's gonna happen, he.
Speaker 1: Goes in, but not to fox toss the fox tossing hand.
End it.
Speaker 2: If we're in the Dominican Republic or Haiti or whatever
and there's a cockfight going on, yeah, I'm gonna look.
Speaker 1: I'm going to a cockfight.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go. I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna bet,
and you know what, I'm even gonna have my own chicken. Yeah, Like,
I'm not gonna organize a cockfight. I'll throw some razor
blades on his.
Speaker 1: I think they do that anyway. I think they do
that anyway.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna add some extress, okay, just in case he's
just actually in a suit of razor blades, just a
shining metal.
Speaker 1: Suit of pure race.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put some candy bars on his feet, full
of razor blades. Yeah, you can use my kid's halloween candy.
I'm sure there's plenty in there. Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 1: So Leopold is like, I want to get in on this,
but ah man, we're out of shit to toss. It's okay,
I'll just do the bludgeoning.
Speaker 2: They have good clubs, go, yeah, fishing clubs. Yeah. Leopold
goes into the ring. I want the clubbers to be
good at their jobs, like, don't torture these animals. I
just want one swing. Well, I have horrible news for you.
This guy stunk.
Speaker 1: He was probably okay, but all the other clubbers were.
Speaker 2: The court dwarves. I'm sure that was a sight to behold. Yeah,
no entertainment value off the charts.
Speaker 1: It was Leopold and a gaggle of dwarves beating injured
animals to death.
Speaker 2: It would be a funny show. Horrific horrific thing. I mean, objectively,
we can all acknowledge now this is barbaric, But if
it already happened, what was a dwarf doing it? Pretty funny?
It was pretty funny.
Speaker 1: There was also some young pages, like twelve year old
boys also helping out as well, so he went in there,
and they all went in there and just beat the
shit out of foxes, wildcats, any animal that was too
maimed to run away from them. Sure, so dead back legs,
just crawling on. One dwarf slipped on some animals and
testines and fell on top of a wounded wolf, which
ripped all the meat off of his arm.
Speaker 2: Wounded wolf. It just sounds like a really bad bar
on Sixth Street that goes out of business within three months.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, opens and closes within a quarter.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They have like scantly dressed women dancing in the windows.
You have four dudes outside shots essentially bullying you.
Speaker 1: Four shots for a dollar? What are you gay?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You see these chicks that you cannot sleep with or
talk to or touch. Come on in, dude, get a boner.
Speaker 2: Wounded woolf?
Speaker 1: B yeah, wo wolf, come on, get an erection? Come on?
What are you gay?
Speaker 2: Come on?
Speaker 1: Get a boner with me?
Speaker 2: Dude. It's like eight dollar cover zombige deal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you pour and gay?
Speaker 2: Pouring? Gay? Come on? I says, a dollar for four shots.
Speaker 1: There's bitches in here that you can't talk to or
look at, like, could you look at it? You can't
talk to or touch or or take home.
Speaker 2: I mean they're bar mat shots. But yeah, yeah, come on,
come on, we ring out the bar rag into some glasses.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's really just like a fucking festered Long
Island iced tea at that point.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: So the yeah, the wolf bit down to the bone,
just ripped all the meat off this dwarf's arm, and
the Emperor, though, saved him. He came over and split
the wolf's skull in half with his club.
Speaker 2: Emperor's new groove.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was referred to as people there because it
was so bloody, as a quote carnival of death.
Speaker 2: And do you want know why they threw this fox
toss celebrating the birth of.
Speaker 1: The air. No, they were celebrating, yes, the end of
a plague.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, nothing really gets me all jazzed up.
Defeating the invisible enemy like slaughtering hundreds, if not thousands
of him.
Speaker 1: Should have done this at the end of Covid Man,
we should.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Next up, we have the Prussian welcome in seventeen twenty eight. Okay,
King Frederick William the First of Prussia comes to who else,
Augustus the Strong. He's gonna be. He's being hosted by
Augustus the Strong in the Holy Roman Empire or whatever. Yeah,
and Augustus is like, gotta throw a fox toss, Got
to god throw fox toss. So they had two hundred
foxes there, among other animals, So many foxes, and William
was known as the Soldier King. So Augustus does strong,
this is just a fox genocide. Yeah, oh yeah, one
hundred percent. Augustus the Strong wanted to impress him, show
how manly he was. Again, the fox would be launched, high,
hounds would come in rip him to pieces. The event
kind of evolved evolved into pandemonium when this woman and
the guy she was tossing with they couldn't get a
badger off of their off of their thing.
Speaker 2: And we're tossing badgers now, yeah.
Speaker 1: They tossed badgers too, and the badger like crawled up
the cloth and h slashed the noble woman's face.
Speaker 2: So she had a nice little scar the rest of
her life. Oh yeah, she get infected and.
Speaker 1: She had to get stitches.
Speaker 2: Dude, stitches back then were not fun.
Speaker 1: No, so her scar was gnarly. Meanwhile, they were tossing
some rabbits.
Speaker 2: Your fucking medicine man comes in just the biggest needle
you've ever seen, and some thread.
Speaker 1: They were a literal thread. Yeah, so we actually we
talked about this in the episode I did when Gabby
was here on that surgeon who and the slave who
like saved countless pregnant women's lives.
Speaker 2: Probably not gonna, you know, feel better, because you're gonna
get infected. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the thread they would use it was just normal
thread and it would get infected. That the guy, I
forget his name, but the doctor.
Speaker 2: I'm not even lighting the fucking needle on fire.
Speaker 1: No, they just pulled out of the mud and some
guy pulls it out of his boot.
Speaker 2: It's a boot nail. It was just chilling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he used silver thread and that stopped infection
from happening. But back then they were just using regular
littleld fucking cloth or whatever, so they would all They
were also tossing rabbits at this event, and this is
not the only event they tossed rabbits at. But I
guess the thing you don't realize about rabbits, or you
might not have thought of about rabbits, is they're smaller, right,
much smaller, and thus can be tossed much higher.
Speaker 2: Actually, I'm fine with rabbits being tossed. There's so many rabbits. Yeah,
they're pumping out baby, right, they fuck like rabbits, and
rabbits are nasty and mean. No they're not.
Speaker 1: They're sweethearts.
Speaker 2: No they're not.
Speaker 1: You ever, I had a pet rabbit.
Speaker 2: You seem like the kind of kid that would have
a pet rabbit, and I bet he bit the hell
out of your finger.
Speaker 1: Nope, his sweetheart, No, his name was Pitt.
Speaker 2: There's no such thing as a caged rabbit that is
a sweetheart.
Speaker 1: He was a sweet little guy.
Speaker 2: Little psychos wading their bloodthirsty they're always always trying to
take out all their kids.
Speaker 1: My sweet Pip, my sweet little pip.
Speaker 2: How many of his your friends did he bite?
Speaker 1: None?
Speaker 2: There's no way, my sweet pip.
Speaker 1: I also had him when I was like twenty three.
Speaker 2: It's way too old to have a rabbit. So what
happened was, Oh, there's no way you can justify this.
I bought it.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend wanted a dog. She couldn't get a dog,
but she wanted animal, so I got her rabbit.
Speaker 2: I mean, she couldn't get it out the apartment that
she lived in allowed rabbits.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess it's terrible. So I got her rabbit.
She liked it, but then she went home for the summer.
She loved it. But and her dad was like, you're
keeping a fucking rabbit here.
Speaker 2: So I nobody should have a rabbit in cage. I
had to take the rabbit home, and I kept the
rabbit until. Uh.
Speaker 1: Basically I was about to move to Austin, and I
gave it to a preschool.
Speaker 2: At least gerbils and stuff. They can distract themselves with
the little wheel.
Speaker 1: The hell's a rabbit, dew, I don't know. He just
has fun, man, it's a rabbit. Did he let him
out a lot in the room in my room?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just pooped all over.
Speaker 1: He'd pee you sometimes. Okay, wouldn't that big of a deal.
Whatever you say, brother, I like love the pip.
Speaker 2: Uh so he buy you? You mean you give him
away to a preschool or whatever? You just let him
out into the wild.
Speaker 1: And no, my my my parents' neighbors were they had
like a preschooler and he took you.
Speaker 2: You went to an open field, you set him free
and then a down and took him. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, no, I promise. So hares rabbits whatever, they can
go much higher, which means they fall much further. Yeah,
typically at a fox toss. But again I'm like, I
have no I don't care. I don't care if a
rabbit gets mangled, well, typically at a fox toss. Ye.
Speaker 2: Also, it's so small, you're gonna launch it up so high,
it's gonna fall. It's probably gonna die on impact. Oh,
it doesn't die on impact. They exploded on impact. That's
sweet though.
Speaker 1: Like when the rabbit would get tossed, when it came
back down, it would just open up.
Speaker 2: Like folds for the dogs. Dogs just kind of have
a nice little snack.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the rat. They were literally just exploding rabbits everywhere.
In fact, one rabbit exploded and splattered all over King
Frederick's uniform, but he laughed it off and then challenged
Augustus to a toss off that left three more rabbits exploded.
Speaker 2: Like na died. I can explode the rabbit harder. Yeah,
rabbits are bunnies.
Speaker 1: They brought in a wolf also to show off.
Speaker 2: Is there a line they're like nighted, we can we
can only do it when they're of age. What the rabbits.
Speaker 1: I think they're of age, like four weeks. No bunnies, yeah,
no bunnies.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But they brought in a wolf because they, you know,
Augustus wanted to show off and he was gonna toss
the fucking wolf or whatever.
Speaker 2: You're you're gonna get fucked up. They drug these wolves, Nope,
with what anything?
Speaker 1: No, they didn't drug it.
Speaker 2: There was drugs back then, all right, well they didn't
drug it.
Speaker 1: It's from what I read. The wolf broke free early,
got into the ring and killed two dogs.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 1: It was eventually tossed though, and it landed and was crippled,
but it was still pretty pissed off and it took
six guys with clubs to put it down.
Speaker 2: Okay, I just can't see a wolf get into that
sheet to be tossed. I don't know how it works.
Speaker 1: The thing's just running around everywhere and you just have
to time it up. And that's the skill and the
toss timing.
Speaker 2: It's because it runs towards you. It's going to attack you,
and you're just you're like a matador.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, in a lot of ways. Yeah, the Prussian
King left impressed, but was like that was pretty cool,
but I'm glad we don't do that here. That was
also pretty fucked though, went in realm.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: At the Hanover Mask in seventeen oh six, they of
course had for the masquerade had a fox tossing pregame
Electros Sophia of Hanover, who was the mother of Britain's
King George the First, hosted a costume party fox toss
There were one hundred guests. The men were dressed as
sadders and the women as nymphs, and the animals were
adorned in collar, ribbons and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: What is a nymph just like a fairy?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, more or less. Why is it called a nympho?
I don't know. Little fairies freaks.
Speaker 1: Probably they interesting it down. Have you ever seen tinker
Bell dresses like a whore?
Speaker 2: Yeah, just kind of asking for it. It's dressed like that.
It is actually troubling. There's a kid's tinker Bell.
Speaker 1: Show or moot like series of movies, and that tinker
Bell is an absolute ten.
Speaker 2: But she's like this big do matter smaller than a penis?
Make it work? She's magic, Yeah, make it work. It
also makes you feel much bigger.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you lay it out.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, you want bigger than you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you want? Girl?
Speaker 2: But she's magic, she can take it. Okay.
Speaker 1: So this was a nighttime fox tosses under lantern light.
Sofia was sixty six but still still spry. She partnered
with a.
Speaker 2: Duke that grandma is just not getting out there. Okay,
we have to look out for this is not how
she's going out. Well, she tried to launch a wildcat. God,
how did grandma go?
Speaker 1: She actually did? Okay, it did. It did like scratch
up her dress and exposed her legs, which was quite
scandalous for the time.
Speaker 2: So they were sentenced her to death because she showed angle.
Speaker 1: No, dude, she's the queen or whatever electros so she
can do what she wants. She was furious, but the
crowd was like laughing at her, which pissed her off.
So she took a club and beat the wild cat
to death herself.
Speaker 2: I had to yeah, oh she's a batie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, boss ass bitch mm hmm. Over three hundred foxes
were killed.
Speaker 2: At the She's like handed over, give me the club. Yeah,
I'll do it myself.
Speaker 1: Now. The surviving animals, the ones who weren't I don't
think they had hounds mauling. So they just took all
the crippled animals, put them on leashes and had.
Speaker 2: A victory parade with the animals.
Speaker 1: With the animals, and they would they they paraded them
on leashes all the way.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, is it like a gladiator situation
where you can survive so many tosses that they eventually
free you. That's not what happens. In a moment, they
use them for the feast. No, they eat them.
Speaker 1: No, No, they take the victory parade ends at the
garden found mountain where all the partakers drowned the animals.
Speaker 2: In the fountain. Okay, so we were so upset at
Michael Vick, but there was there was precedent here, a
lot of precedent. Uh. And then the banquet began. Then
everyone went and had dinner after drowning the animals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the crippled animals just put a fucking arrow through
its head. That's not good knife, No sporting, that got
a tossome.
Speaker 2: What's the sporting drowning them? Yeah? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Also, it's like your nice garden fountain and there's just
now one hundred dead animals just floating.
Speaker 2: Blood's starting to creep out.
Speaker 1: And by the way, these animals are not in one piece.
They're already bleeding gotten testines like falling out.
Speaker 2: You can't drink out of that fountain anymore. It wasn't water.
Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't like a drinking fountain. It was
like a decorative fountain.
Speaker 2: They definitely drank out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's be honest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, it was hard to drink water as is.
Then you're not getting picky.
Speaker 1: I mean, you've got running water there, like it's moving,
so it's cleaner.
Speaker 2: It's probably cleaner.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now the last one is called.
Speaker 1: The Wolf's Revenge at Regensburg.
Speaker 2: Not Regensburg. I wonder if I have any relation to this.
Speaker 1: It's r E. G. E ns Berg. There was an
elector's summit for Bavaria and they were doing a you know,
fox toss.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to.
Speaker 1: It's the sixteen nineties in this one, and a wolf
is uh, you know, in the mix, and it gets tossed,
but I don't think gets tossed very high. Obviously wolf's
are big, and it lands on top of the hounds,
gets its way free, just like fucks up a couple
of dogs, gets out, goes straight at the motherfucker who
tossed it. A minor Bavarian prince disembowels him.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, we finally got one, boys, we finally got
a noble.
Speaker 1: And Sever's and artery. The dudes just spraying blood everywhere.
Speaker 2: This is what ends it off.
Speaker 1: They finally got Oh no, so this was not the
last one.
Speaker 2: Could they put the kabash on it? No?
Speaker 1: This was just no, because this happened in the sixteen nineties.
The one before that was seventeen oh six, and the
one before that was seventeen twenty eight. Yeah, so it's
still going.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: Severs and Artery surgeons run out, cauterized the uh the
wound on site while he's screaming in horrific pain. Later, bitch, anyway,
he bleeds out before dawn. The wolf is now cornered
and they plan on clubbing.
Speaker 2: It to death. Of course, takes four more motherfuckers with them.
What a fucking savage. That's my fucking king right there.
At a certain point, you kill so many people, you'd
be like, all right, you earned your freedom.
Speaker 1: Right you can go. I respect you. So it took
about five Yeah, apparently, let's.
Speaker 2: Go dude, score one for the good guys.
Speaker 1: But yeah, he got him, and that is that is
the story of Fox tossing again. By the late seventeen hundreds,
it went out of fashion, but it was a big
ass deal for about one hundred and fifty years.
Speaker 2: Think it'll circle back. Yeah, you know, trends are cyclical,
it's like fashion. Yeah, exactly. Well, I know what I
learned today. What's that we were sick freaks until like
thirty years ago. Yeah, pretty much, and even then we're
still we're still not much better.
Speaker 1: But the things this is I always say this, like
going back to that time when we did an episode
about how they was a blog out of a Patreon
patrion of Compsola softwaresery, where like there was a circus
in town and they needed to punish an elephant for
like stomping on somebody, so they took it out to
the woods and tied it to four trees with chains
and then lit a fire under it to teach it
a lesson, and the whole town came out because there's
nothing on TV because TV doesn't exist.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I also learned. I heard Jack, our
friend Jack Mandeville say this on another show. Uh. Something
I learned recently too, is I guess that the Salem
Witch Trials I also hung dogs.
Speaker 1: Oh that doesn't surprise me in the least.
Speaker 2: We didn't cover that in our Salem witch Trial episode.
Speaker 1: We probably didn't, But we have done animal hangings in
other witch Trial episodes. We have cats and shit like.
Speaker 2: The cats because the guy in England that claimed to
be like the real air that got switchedipper, Yeah, and
then he blamed his cat for witchcraft to possessing them.
Speaker 1: In fact, I did a whole episode at one point
on Famous animal Trials.
Speaker 2: We've just never really been good to animals.
Speaker 1: Uh no, no, we've been not the kindest.
Speaker 2: Been our best friends, yeah, or at least we haven't
kept our part of the best friends. Sound like the
dogs had a great time at the fox toss. Yeah,
well unless they caught one too, like they're supposed to
clean up, and then what if this fucking mangled animal
still you know, he's cornered, he's going to do anything
to survive. He's going to get some of those dogs.
Speaker 1: Well, there was another wolf situation where he did get
a couple of dogs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you said, I think you mentioned that. Yeah, so.
Speaker 1: It happened.
Speaker 2: Who's uh, who's today's hitler, all of these people, the
person that came up with fox tossing.
Speaker 1: It's literally every single person involved with this.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Not a fun story personally. That the dwarfs club
and stuff definitely added an element, And if you didn't
mention that, I'd be totally horrified. But now all I
have is this picture of little people with tiny little
clubs going after uh, raccoons and badgers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, crippled, crippled badgers. And that one dwarf also did
get got by a wolf, had its fucking arm ripped
off by a wolf.
Speaker 2: Dude. Yeah, my hero of the story, that wolf that took.
Speaker 1: Out any wolf, just any wolf. Yeah, involved basically. But yeah,
that's all I got for today on the Illustrious. But
some say two short history of fox.
Speaker 2: Tossing Do you say that? No? Okay, no, probably the
spookiest episode we've done all month. Yeah, uh I hate this.
Speaker 1: I mean, dude, by the end of this something such.
Speaker 2: A softy for animals except rabbits.
Speaker 1: By the end of these things like it was just
I mean literally, there was mud and the mud was
made from like blood and guts like. It was not
like water like, it was just blood soaking the ground.
Speaker 2: That's fun. That's always a good time, Yeah, I guess. Yeah,
definitely have your you know, festivals and giant parties covered
in blood. Yeah, that's what people want.
Speaker 1: And I mean these people, by the way, who were
in the ring covered in blood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how else would they become before the banquet and
probably pooh too oh shit blood. Surely there's plenty of
pooh for like matted disgusting. It's gonna smell so bad.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's gotta be horrible. Have you ever walked in.
Speaker 2: And they're not cooking any of these animals, They're not
using them for anything the postgame feast?
Speaker 1: Have you ever? I know you said you've been deer
hunting before. I've only been deer hunting once ever. But
at the end of it, I was with my cousin
because he has a ranch out here, and we had
to go We didn't kill any deer, but he had
to go pick up a deer that he had had
like made into meat at one of the processing places
or whatever, and so we had to go in to
pick it up.
Speaker 2: You mean, just somebody who dressed his deer down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was like a business that did it,
not like a butcher, but like they were there because
when we walked in, you could see the back room.
Speaker 2: Tells me your was your cousin, Yeah, not a real hunter.
Gotta do it yourself.
Speaker 1: He says he can, but he didn't feel like it.
Speaker 2: He's a lot of buddies, so I don't play there.
It's a convenience thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But we walk in and I'm like pretty hungover because
we got fucked up that night. And uh, it was
like me and my three of my cousins.
Speaker 2: It doesn't smell great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: The meat is so delicious. Benison's great.
Speaker 1: Oh Venison rules.
Speaker 2: You can jerky out of it. Fucking stunk, dude.
Speaker 1: And there was just like trash cans full of deer pelts.
There's deer skins, they're all yeah, they're all hung up
up from the ceiling and ship like that. It was
not what I needed to smell at nine in them.
Speaker 2: Mo, pretty hungover, probably vomited a little.
Speaker 1: I wasn't great. That was my favorite snapchat I ever posted, though,
because I got like a hundred responses that were like,
where the fuck are you heaven? But yeah, that's all
I got for today. I'm fox tossing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sweet, thanks for putting those images in my head. Yeah,
I can't wait to go to bed now. I hope
they sit with you for a while.
Speaker 1: They will.
Speaker 2: This is an episode that is truly gonna shake me.
That takes a lot, it does, dude, I'm telling you,
I like animals more than people.
Speaker 1: I know you do, truly, I know you do.
Speaker 2: But you know the people I do love the people
that subscribed to our Patreon damn right, patreon dot com,
slash software his story. Two additional episodes that drop on
Wednesday and Friday every week, and at this point we have,
you know, almost four years of evergreen content and it
just keeps on going. So make sure to sign up.
Five dollars tier gets you those two episodes, and then
we have like an additional tear that's twenty bucks. It
helps me get by because this is my only job,
and we put out a sports show and some additional
content on there as well. I think we're gonna do
probably a reactionary episodes to Ken Burns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that comes out any day.
Speaker 2: That comes on the eleventh, Okay, and then also Death
by Lightning. So that's the one about Charles Gatoe.
Speaker 1: Oh, which, by the way, a perfectly cast.
Speaker 2: Gutou Yeah, I mean Tom from fucking Succession. Oh, it's
so good it might be too good though, he's too charismatic.
That's kind of true. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Tom is so far and away the best character in
Succession that it's not even remotely close.
Speaker 2: That's why he wins.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, I haven't even finished it, Butler alert, I
do know he wins, but like the way he is
so much better than like because I feel like people
love Kieran Colkin and blah blah blah. Now dude, Tom,
Tom's the man is the one.
Speaker 2: But make sure to check out the Patreon obviously check
out our YouTube. Subscribed to our YouTube get a nice
little four K video every week and leave a review.
If you get in five stars, please and thank you.
We did get a one star review that I posted
the other day, but I felt like there were reasons
in the one star review that could also be taken
as a five star.
Speaker 1: Well, they said they tried, they.
Speaker 2: Did try, and that's all we ask. Yeah, give us
a shut to earn your business. Yeah, but yeah, for
Rob Fox, I'm Damn Redchester, you just got saw served