Speaker 1: This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf
Speaker 1: I Am six forty, the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on
Speaker 1: demand on the iHeartRadio app k I AM six forty.
Speaker 1: You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the
Speaker 1: Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show. I am taking your calls. If
Speaker 1: you'd like to call in, the number is one eight
Speaker 1: hundred five two zero one five three four. If you're
Speaker 1: too shy, just send me a DM on Instagram at
Speaker 1: doctor Wendy Walsh. I'll keep your identity anonymous. Okay, I
Speaker 1: think we have a talkback somebody recorded We're old you
Speaker 1: got that? Go ahead. Hi, my name is Sarah. I
Speaker 1: lost the phone number because I'm driving anyway. I wanted
Speaker 1: to know a couple questions. So you're talking about relationships.
Speaker 1: How about for the people that are a little bit
Speaker 1: older sixty plus? What would you suggest? Okay, So if
Speaker 1: you do forget the phone number, you know you can
Speaker 1: always go on the iHeartRadio app like Sarah did, and
Speaker 1: there's a talk back button and you can just record
Speaker 1: you a question. So Sarah, it doesn't matter. All the
Speaker 1: rules of engagement are the same, and the good news
Speaker 1: is The fastest growing group of people on dating apps
Speaker 1: are people over the age of fifty. And the wonderful
Speaker 1: thing about dating apps is that you put your age.
Speaker 1: Don't lie. People don't like them when people lie about
Speaker 1: their age, and they will search for you. Only a
Speaker 1: small minority of men actually always want to go young.
Speaker 1: Lots of people just want a best friend. My husband
Speaker 1: is a little older than me. We met in our
Speaker 1: fifties and he was searching for a peer a friend. Right,
Speaker 1: you don't have to put the sexy pictures on the
Speaker 1: app if you're over sixty, put attractive pictures, some full
Speaker 1: length of you doing the things you do in your
Speaker 1: life to show them who you are. But the other
Speaker 1: important thing is older people especially think like the first
Speaker 1: get together. The first meeting should be an exciting, romantic
Speaker 1: date with a total stranger off an app. No, have
Speaker 1: a phone call first, and then if you like what
Speaker 1: you hear on the phone, then get together for a
Speaker 1: short coffee date and then after that have the first date.
Speaker 1: Don't rush into big, high expectations. That is not the
Speaker 1: thing to do, all right, And while I was on Instagram,
Speaker 1: somebody posted a question I thought very interesting. He said
Speaker 1: that he is from a wealthy family. He's engaged to
Speaker 1: a woman who comes from a low income family, and
Speaker 1: he's wondering what problems they're going to have. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: the obvious problem that people think of right away is, oh,
Speaker 1: my god, she's marrying him for his money. I hope. So.
Speaker 1: I mean, all women are gold diggers in some way.
Speaker 1: If you want to protect your wealth and your money,
Speaker 1: make sure you have a pre nap. But keep in
Speaker 1: mind that if a woman's going to take decades off
Speaker 1: her life to our career to have children, she deserves
Speaker 1: to be compensated for that. I remember talking to a
Speaker 1: family attorney one time, and he said, the best thing
Speaker 1: people should do is that anytime any partner of any
Speaker 1: gender stays home, they should be paid a salary every week,
Speaker 1: so they're paid for their time. Wouldn't that be great
Speaker 1: if it worked out that way. The bigger the other
Speaker 1: difference that can happen is just a difference in values,
Speaker 1: right you know, we all have a kind of financial psychology,
Speaker 1: psychology of money, and some people are very frugal and
Speaker 1: they might be upset if you're spending a lot of money.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's the wealthy side that's the most frugal. It's like,
Speaker 1: we won't spend that, and that's why you're wealthy because
Speaker 1: you saved really well. Other people believe like I deserve it,
Speaker 1: so let me have it, right. So it's about figuring
Speaker 1: out what someone's value is. And then there's other stuff.
Speaker 1: I hate to put money on this one because you
Speaker 1: can be really wealthy and have no taste. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I mean no decorative taste, no taste when it comes
Speaker 1: to certain things. And then there are people who may
Speaker 1: have low income but high education. If I read somewhere
Speaker 1: actually that that is the target market of Trader Joe's.
Speaker 1: That when they first launched, they deliberately put themselves like
Speaker 1: near universities and simies, and they wanted to get people
Speaker 1: who played violin in a symphony or taught at a
Speaker 1: small college and we're really smart and world traveled and
Speaker 1: had taste, but not a lot of income. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, So it's about talking about all these things
Speaker 1: before they come up in a big way. It's about
Speaker 1: having different values, right, all right, let me move on
Speaker 1: to my DMS. Here here we go, Hey, doctor Wendy.
Speaker 1: I was dating a guy and we got into a
Speaker 1: fight where I showed my ugly side a little too early.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're ever supposed to show your ugly set.
Speaker 1: I think you mean you got a little too authentic
Speaker 1: with your anger. He seems to have demoted me to
Speaker 1: a booty call. I don't show up to the late
Speaker 1: night calls, but I want to get back to our
Speaker 1: romantic dates. Is there a way to do this? You know,
Speaker 1: whenever there's conflict in a relationship, talking about commenting on
Speaker 1: it is the most important thing. There's not some manipul
Speaker 1: relative strategy. It's you calling him and saying and getting
Speaker 1: him on the phone, not text on the phone and saying, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry that I got angry in that way
Speaker 1: and showed you a side of myself that I'm not
Speaker 1: really proud of. We're not close enough for me to
Speaker 1: ever have been that intimate with you. On the other hand,
Speaker 1: I feel like since that you've been, you know, more
Speaker 1: enjoying the fruits of my body without getting really close
Speaker 1: to me emotionally. So what should we do about this?
Speaker 1: Leave it open ended, like how should we handle this?
Speaker 1: And see what he says. I love the word the
Speaker 1: question how, especially for male brains, because it puts them
Speaker 1: out of their emotional brain and into their prefrontal cortex
Speaker 1: to problem solve. So how should we solve this is
Speaker 1: always a good question because you're in it together and
Speaker 1: maybe you learn something, right, I know, we all have
Speaker 1: tender spots, and we have to be able to control
Speaker 1: ourselves just at the beginning, until there's enough to tack,
Speaker 1: until there's enough security and attachment and there's enough intimacy. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that happened to you, Dear doctor Wendy. Should
Speaker 1: I ask about my future partner's past relationships? Well, I
Speaker 1: have to tell you something that that is the number
Speaker 1: one conversation that most dating couples talk about, right, the
Speaker 1: relationship they just got out of, what their longest relationship was. Now,
Speaker 1: there's a way to have this conversation without totally blaming
Speaker 1: your ex for everything. To show that one has emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1: They would talk about their peace in it as well, like,
Speaker 1: you know, we weren't compatible because I was more like
Speaker 1: this and she was more like that. That's a healthy
Speaker 1: way to describe it, right. But yeah, you have absolutely
Speaker 1: every right because by the time they got to you,
Speaker 1: they had been trained by a lot of people who
Speaker 1: impacted their idea of love starting with their parents in
Speaker 1: early life and then their teenage relationships.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: One of the books I wrote is called The Boyfriend,
Speaker 1: asked how to evaluate his potential before you lose your heart,
Speaker 1: And one of the questions was, what's the length of
Speaker 1: his longest relationship? You know? And if somebody's got to
Speaker 1: like the age of thirty and they haven't had a
Speaker 1: one year relationship, you got a question, do they have
Speaker 1: the ability to stick it out? Right? So these are
Speaker 1: important questions that you should ask in a relationship. Dear
Speaker 1: doctor Wendy, I met a man at rals who told
Speaker 1: me I was stunning. Well, that's nice. We've been having
Speaker 1: great text conversations. I hate that. But he won't initiate
Speaker 1: an in person date, should I? Or does this mean
Speaker 1: he's not really interested in me? No? Okay, So here's
Speaker 1: the thing. In heterosexual relationships. Women should not you know,
Speaker 1: sperm chases egg and not the reverse. Women should not
Speaker 1: be chasing men. But women should issue an invitation. And
Speaker 1: you've done that by responding to his texts and being available.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you've said polite, flirty things on those texts. Right,
Speaker 1: He's had the invitation. He hasn't made the move. It
Speaker 1: is not your job to chase him down. Now, not
Speaker 1: your job. Let this one go. Dear doctor Wendy, my
Speaker 1: girlfriend of one year sent me a positive pregnancy test
Speaker 1: that she got off Google. How do you know she
Speaker 1: got off Google? Oh? I know she got it off Google.
Speaker 1: I should keep reading and then I'll know the answer.
Speaker 1: I know. I know she got off Google because I
Speaker 1: reverse google searched it. The tangled webs we weave and technology.
Speaker 1: It is odd. Is this a deal breaker for a relationship?
Speaker 1: Or should I ask more about it? I'm turned off
Speaker 1: by her. Look, everybody has their own threshold for what
Speaker 1: is a deal breaker. But this kind of lies about
Speaker 1: life and death, kind of lies. No, this is a
Speaker 1: deal breaker. Okay, this is a deal breaker. This is awful.
Speaker 1: She's trying to coerce you into marriage or spending money
Speaker 1: using complete false pretenses. She's betraying your trust. I don't
Speaker 1: think it can be fixed from here. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: that's terrible, Dear doctor Wendy. I was on a first
Speaker 1: date with a woman and she joked about my features
Speaker 1: and my dad bought Oh guys, I'm so sorry. I
Speaker 1: liked her, but this is distasteful. Should I give her
Speaker 1: another chance? I mean, you could have a conversation and say, hey,
Speaker 1: I just tell her your feelings. I didn't like what
Speaker 1: you said, call me the I had a dad bought.
Speaker 1: If you're into me, yeah great, But if not, like chick,
Speaker 1: move on. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you move on. I think there are
Speaker 1: other women out there who will be better for you.
Speaker 1: And while I'm giving guys advice when we come back,
Speaker 1: there's a trend on social media where men are finally
Speaker 1: decorating their bedrooms very lovely. If you want to see
Speaker 1: some great examples, just google around and you'll see. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about the common things that we find in men's
Speaker 1: bedroom and how they could do a little better. You're
Speaker 1: listening to the Dr Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM
Speaker 1: six forty we Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 3: AM six forty.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI
Speaker 1: AM six forty, Live Everywhere at the iHeartRadio app. On
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio App, I'm here I'm at the iHeartRadio studio now,
Speaker 1: but you can listen to me on the iHeartRadio up there.
Speaker 1: I got it out. So there's this trend online about
Speaker 1: men learning to actually decorate their apartments better, and if
Speaker 1: you're a single guy, you might want to start seeing
Speaker 1: what they're doing. Honestly, it's like, for the first time
Speaker 1: in history, men are suddenly caring about their environment. Maybe
Speaker 1: because they're inviting ladies over, maybe because they want to
Speaker 1: be comfortable themselves. Maybe they're actually buying some decorator magazines.
Speaker 1: So if you're not one of those men, which are
Speaker 1: the minority, I will say that there are some things
Speaker 1: about men's bedrooms that are very different from women's bedrooms.
Speaker 1: Before I get into it, I do want to tell
Speaker 1: a story. Years ago, I was on a TV set
Speaker 1: and you know, in between the shots and the takes,
Speaker 1: it was some you know, talk show or whatever. The
Speaker 1: guys work in the cameras and the floor director were
Speaker 1: just chatting and I overheard one guy say to another, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about tonight I got a date with
Speaker 1: this girl. And you know, my ear perks up because
Speaker 1: I expect he's going to talk about how hot she
Speaker 1: is how he might be able to take her to bed,
Speaker 1: but no, you know what he said next? He said,
Speaker 1: I hope I get to sleep over. I love to
Speaker 1: sleep in a girl bed. It's so cozy and they
Speaker 1: always have the best blankets and the fluffiest pillows. And
Speaker 1: the other guy goes, yeah, dude, I know what you mean.
Speaker 1: Girl rooms are great to sleep in. And I'm thinking,
Speaker 1: am I really hearing this right now? So back in
Speaker 1: the day when I got to trapes through a lot
Speaker 1: of men's bedrooms saying I've had some life experience. You know.
Speaker 1: One time I bought a piece of art from an
Speaker 1: artist he went on to become a very famous I
Speaker 1: was a young woman, he was a young artist. We
Speaker 1: only talked to each other by phone, and he shipped it.
Speaker 1: He was in San Francisco, this beautiful piece of art,
Speaker 1: and he's like, well, where are you going to display
Speaker 1: my art? And he was hoping I was going to say,
Speaker 1: in a museum, a lobby of my office, at least
Speaker 1: my living room, And I said, just my bedroom and
Speaker 1: he goes, oh, And I said, don't worry, dude, I
Speaker 1: get a lot of traffic in my bedroom. Your art
Speaker 1: will be seen anyway. His name is Eric Zeener. I
Speaker 1: recently contacted him on Instagram. His paintings are worth like
Speaker 1: fifty sixty thousand dollars. Now, I did not pay that.
Speaker 1: I paid for in the hundreds. And I showed a
Speaker 1: picture of the painting he'd made for me thirty years ago,
Speaker 1: and I said, you know, at one point it ended
Speaker 1: up in a family room and a kid threw a
Speaker 1: piece of plastic toast, you know, like them from their
Speaker 1: plastic kitchen, sir, and it sliced the canvas a little bit.
Speaker 1: And he was so sweet on Instagram. He said, look,
Speaker 1: if you can get He gave me the name of
Speaker 1: someone who restores paintings, and he goesaid, I'll do the
Speaker 1: touch up painting on it, because I remember that painting
Speaker 1: so much. I didn't ask him if you remembered my
Speaker 1: line about all the traffic in my bedroom. Didn't ask
Speaker 1: him that anyway. The biggest thing I noticed way back
Speaker 1: when when I traped through men's bedroom was a lack
Speaker 1: of complete decorative esthetic at all. When they do decorate,
Speaker 1: it fears that men like sports memorabilia, the middle aged
Speaker 1: playboys like old modeling books, the old modland picture. I
Speaker 1: don't know posters and models look for most men, though,
Speaker 1: the bedroom is a utilian, utilitarian place, right, So in
Speaker 1: a women's bedroom, you are going to find comfort, right,
Speaker 1: You're going to find high quality sheets in cotton, not chemicals.
Speaker 1: I was actually sleeping in an airbnb recently and the
Speaker 1: room was very dark, and when I turned over at
Speaker 1: night in the bed, I was like, is my apple
Speaker 1: watch on? Why am I seeing this light? And I
Speaker 1: opened my eyes. It was sparks from the s sheets.
Speaker 1: They were so full of chemicals that the static electricity
Speaker 1: when I would turn over at night, the sheets would
Speaker 1: light up were sparked. Guys, don't buy those cheap sheets, please,
Speaker 1: cotton linen one hundred okay. And the guys often have
Speaker 1: sheets that are brown and navy blue. No, no, that's
Speaker 1: poopy color. You don't want that in the bed. Okay.
Speaker 1: Here's what women hate, dudes. We hate completely mismass furniture.
Speaker 1: I know, sometimes your bedroom's got like one of your
Speaker 1: grandmother's antiques because it was a hand me down, maybe
Speaker 1: something from your boyhood bedroom, something on sale from Target
Speaker 1: but not part of the Target. Actually is a great
Speaker 1: place lately to decorate, but it doesn't match what you
Speaker 1: have going on. It wasn't thoughtfully executed. Okay. So women
Speaker 1: tend to be much more intentional about their rooms, and
Speaker 1: they tend to care about comfort. So, dudes, I have
Speaker 1: just a little bit of advice for you if you
Speaker 1: are thinking of making a man cave that might attract
Speaker 1: a woman. Number one, I've already mentioned it only by
Speaker 1: natural fibers. Lady skins cannot handle those chemical sheets, just sing.
Speaker 1: Number two, add more pillows to your bed. Seeing two lonely,
Speaker 1: forlorn flat pillows is not an invitation to dive into
Speaker 1: your bed. I'm going to say this about your smelly
Speaker 1: laundry basket. Get it out of the bedroom. I don't care.
Speaker 1: Put it in the closet, put it in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: and please make sure it has a lid on it.
Speaker 1: We have a much more highly attuned old factory response,
Speaker 1: and we can smell things that you can't. And in general, gentlemen,
Speaker 1: please buy lighter colors. Heavy dark wood might be masculine,
Speaker 1: but it feels like a cave to us. Recently, I
Speaker 1: was touring an apartment in New York with a friend
Speaker 1: of mine who was moving in with her longtime boyfriend.
Speaker 1: And as she toured me. Everything she kept saying is
Speaker 1: I know it's brown. This brown thing's going to go.
Speaker 1: I know this brown piece of furniture is going to go. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is too dark. We're going to fix that, right,
Speaker 1: Like she knew that women like things light and bright
Speaker 1: as much as possible. So guys catch with the trend.
Speaker 1: Look on social media. Lots of guys are doing it.
Speaker 1: They're learning how to make masculine yet fashionable and decorative rooms.
Speaker 1: And this is actually attracting women. All right, speaking of
Speaker 1: what else not to do when we come back, But
Speaker 1: when we come back, I have a wonderful author who
Speaker 1: has written a light Okay, it's light, it's humorous. We're
Speaker 1: not putting you down. Guys. A book called Things I
Speaker 1: Heard While Dating You would not believe some of the
Speaker 1: things women wrote to her that they had heard men
Speaker 1: say on dates. When we come back. You were listening
Speaker 1: to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six
Speaker 1: forty were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 3: AM six forty.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Why Show on KFI
Speaker 1: AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. My
Speaker 1: next guest blew me away with an email. It was
Speaker 1: an email because it was so well constructed that I
Speaker 1: knew she would be an excellent Guessie, I'm putting her
Speaker 1: on the spot before she even knows. My next Guest
Speaker 1: is an author based in Raleigh, North Carolina. She is
Speaker 1: a writer and editor of the book called The Things
Speaker 1: I Heard While Dating. It is a book that looks
Speaker 1: into the quirky, qwinge worthy, and often hilarious. We have
Speaker 1: to have a sense of humor about this, folks, otherwise
Speaker 1: it would be pure tragedy hilarious world of romantic dialogues. Hi,
Speaker 1: Emily O'Brien, how are you.
Speaker 2: I'm good, how are you doing good?
Speaker 1: So, first question, what prompted you to write this book?
Speaker 1: Because your background is actually in journalism having to do
Speaker 1: with all kinds of things from architecture to cooking and
Speaker 1: now dating.
Speaker 2: Right while that's an interesting story, I am actually out
Speaker 2: of the dating realm right now. I'm twenty years into marriage.
Speaker 2: But I remembered something strange and really out of the
Speaker 2: blue one day that a date had said to me,
Speaker 2: and I just could not stop laughing, like not just
Speaker 2: at the line, but also it was a little bit
Speaker 2: of a time capsule into who I was at that time.
Speaker 2: And the line was, oh, so you just have more
Speaker 2: hair on one side of your head, and I said, no,
Speaker 2: that's just how I parton it, and I don't mind you.
Speaker 1: I had a very sing I literally thought that you
Speaker 1: had thin hair on one side and thick on another.
Speaker 1: It didn't consider that a side part means you're pulling
Speaker 1: some over to the other side.
Speaker 2: Correct, yes, wow, wow. So I remembered that line and
Speaker 2: it was just kind of an awkward moment that happened
Speaker 2: in the date, and I just brushed it off because
Speaker 2: I thought, I don't know if he is just in
Speaker 2: awe of my hair for some reason and it was
Speaker 2: nothing remarkable at all, or maybe trying to land a
Speaker 2: bad joke. I mean, that would be the maybe best
Speaker 2: case scenario. And then later I remembered something else a
Speaker 2: different date had said to me, and I started asking
Speaker 2: my girlfriends, do you have stories? Did anything weird happen
Speaker 2: to you? And I did not expect to unlock such
Speaker 2: a treasure trove of funny, cringe worthy and just puzzling
Speaker 2: lines in general.
Speaker 1: Okay, before we get into it. I do want to
Speaker 1: say that we love men, and men you are trying okay,
Speaker 1: but some of you are bumbling around in the dating world.
Speaker 1: And anyway, I will say that research has shown that
Speaker 1: one of the best ways that a man can showcase
Speaker 1: his most important trait, which is intelligence, is through humor,
Speaker 1: and because of that, some men who aren't naturally funny,
Speaker 1: will attempt it as a way to, you know, showcase
Speaker 1: the humor. So this is lighthearted. We still love you men,
Speaker 1: but let's get into it. Let's talk about some questionable
Speaker 1: pickup lines before we get to the date. Anything you
Speaker 1: heard that was interesting.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I did you know questionable pickup lives. One
Speaker 2: that was actually damped on a dating app was do
Speaker 2: you have stinky feet? And the woman wrote back no,
Speaker 2: and he genuinely was upset that she did not have
Speaker 2: stinky feet. So I suppose that was definitely a flop.
Speaker 1: That was a fetish. I think that was a fetish
Speaker 1: because one time, when I was young, a guy asked
Speaker 1: me to specifically wear strappy shoes to the date, which, gentlemen,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, not a good idea to tell women
Speaker 1: what to wear before you've even met them. On a date,
Speaker 1: but an he wanted strappy shoes. I got what he
Speaker 1: where he was coming from. So I said, listen, dude,
Speaker 1: if you're like got some foot fetish thing, I've got
Speaker 1: bunions and pump bumps, and you're not going to be happy,
Speaker 1: all right. And it was in the days where we
Speaker 1: wore high heels every single day. Did you know, by
Speaker 1: the way, Emily, when you start wearing sneakers and stop
Speaker 1: wearing those high heels, all that goes away and your
Speaker 1: feet get pretty again, just saying so anyway, he came up,
Speaker 1: he said, oh no, no, I don't It's fine, you know,
Speaker 1: just wear whatever you want on the date. So I
Speaker 1: remember wearing clothes toed pumps. But while we were at
Speaker 1: the restaurant, a woman in a slinky dress walked by
Speaker 1: with strappy shoes, and he couldn't help himself turned to
Speaker 1: me and said, oh my god, did you see your feet?
Speaker 1: Don't they look great? As if I was going to
Speaker 1: share in this joy with him? So yeah, oh no,
Speaker 1: I didn't see him after that. I didn't see Hey,
Speaker 1: it's okay, hey if he has a food fetish, But
Speaker 1: I just didn't, you know, the first date just seemed
Speaker 1: early to go there, all right? Any other pickup lines
Speaker 1: you heard from women? I did.
Speaker 2: One woman submitted a line that said he said to
Speaker 2: her pack your bags, let's go to Bali. And this
Speaker 2: was on their first date after he showed up at
Speaker 2: the wrong place and then confessed he had a drug
Speaker 2: problem and was a practicing physician.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's a guy. You want to run off
Speaker 1: to a foreign country with alone without any protection.
Speaker 2: Right, you know?
Speaker 1: One guy? Here's a pickup line I got from a guy.
Speaker 1: It was actually a text from someone who I had
Speaker 1: known previously in another incarnation of life. He was married,
Speaker 1: I was married. Whatever. Instead of writing a text that said, hey,
Speaker 1: you're single now and I'm single now and oh my god,
Speaker 1: I've always dreamed to go out with you and it
Speaker 1: would be so wonderful, he literally wrote, so my divorce
Speaker 1: is fine, and I think you're kind of a little
Speaker 1: bit interesting. Do you want to go out a little
Speaker 1: bit interesting path? On that one too? Pass on that one.
Speaker 1: What do you think is the best thing a guy
Speaker 1: could say if they meet someone in the real world
Speaker 1: and they want to do some kind of pickup line.
Speaker 1: What is your advice from what you've heard ooh.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I think just a regular conversation, like not try
Speaker 2: to come up with something bizarre outlandish, and just talk
Speaker 2: to someone. I know that sounds kind of old fashioned,
Speaker 2: but I think that's probably the best.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I heard that flirting is back in
Speaker 1: with jen Why they're trying to talk in public now.
Speaker 1: They're not liking the dating apps, so I've been trying
Speaker 1: to teach flirting techniques. My advice is, just find any
Speaker 1: common interest, even if it's the weather, like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: raining so hard. You know you are smart enough to
Speaker 1: wear riinkcoat whatever, like anything that you share in common
Speaker 1: in that moment. If you're both gay, the same airplane
Speaker 1: going by, I don't know, but just you have to
Speaker 1: establish rapport by having something in common from the beginning,
Speaker 1: and you've got to search for it. I think that's
Speaker 1: the best line. So when we come back, let us
Speaker 1: get into the dates. The book is called Things I
Speaker 1: Heard While Dating. The author is Emily O'Brien, and she's
Speaker 1: got lots of fun stuff for us. When we come back.
Speaker 1: You are listening to the Doctor Andy Walsh Show on
Speaker 1: KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 3: AM six forty.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show and KFI
Speaker 1: AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. We
Speaker 1: are in the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
Speaker 1: I am here every Sunday for you from seven to
Speaker 1: nine pm. If you miss any part of the show,
Speaker 1: you know you can always go to that iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1: It's always there. If you miss past shows, they're there.
Speaker 1: I wanted to end the show with Emily O'Brien's book
Speaker 1: Things I've Heard While Dating because I just thought it
Speaker 1: was so adorable that we make light and this particular
Speaker 1: show has been a lot of information for single people.
Speaker 1: So if you're still single and you're still listening, here's
Speaker 1: some things you probably shouldn't say. Okay, Emily, what are
Speaker 1: some of the wildest things that women have told you
Speaker 1: that men have said on dates? By the way, did
Speaker 1: you interview men to find out weird things women say
Speaker 1: on dates?
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting all of the men that submitted
Speaker 2: lines it was from what other men had said they
Speaker 2: were in gay relationships. I didn't have I didn't have
Speaker 2: any men submitting lines from women.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we don't have to talk. We just have
Speaker 1: to smile and look pretty, all right, So what have
Speaker 1: you got in the book? Things I heard while dating?
Speaker 2: Well Abby and Lenexa, Kansas heard on her second date,
Speaker 2: I find you being a vegetarian so sexy. I want
Speaker 2: to eat at a mammy off your back.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, so she is that technically vegetarian if he's
Speaker 1: eating off her body, I don't know.
Speaker 2: She heard it during their first makeout session, which caused
Speaker 2: her to let out that uncomfortable giggle that most women
Speaker 2: do and they don't know how to react, and she
Speaker 2: said he seemed perfect in every other way, but she
Speaker 2: just could not get past that line.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like it starts with that a mommy,
Speaker 1: it gets a hannibal lecter. I mean it just moves
Speaker 1: on to something dangerous. I don't know, all right, anything
Speaker 1: else for us?
Speaker 2: Yeah? LS in Riverhead, New York. She heard this line
Speaker 2: on her first in person date after two video calls,
Speaker 2: so she had kind of vetted him at first, and
Speaker 2: he said after she was returning from the bathroom, he
Speaker 2: said to her, Oh, I can't get you out of
Speaker 2: my head. They just don't make women with birthing hips
Speaker 2: like yours anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is good or bad. I mean,
Speaker 1: guys like curvy women now, but birthing hips.
Speaker 2: Later, when she broke up with him, which is unclear
Speaker 2: if it was the same night or just within a
Speaker 2: short period of time, he said, I have money, if
Speaker 2: that helps, as if it was an excuse for his behavior.
Speaker 1: Although we do like men with money. I'll just say
Speaker 1: that's always a good mating strategy is to showcase your
Speaker 1: financial waste. Shall we say, I don't know birthing hips. Yeah,
Speaker 1: one guy said to me once. I was a single
Speaker 1: mom and I was out with my two little kids
Speaker 1: at a museum and I ran into a guy who
Speaker 1: had had a couple dates with back when I was single,
Speaker 1: and he literally said to me, oh, you turned out
Speaker 1: to be quite a breeder. It was just weird.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he was complimenting me, if that
Speaker 1: was a good thing a bad thing. Flirting with that
Speaker 1: was just weird. All right, what else you got?
Speaker 2: Cassandra heard in Colorado Springs after the date had ended,
Speaker 2: so after the relationship ended, essentially, he said, you need
Speaker 2: someone who can handle you. Oh my goodness, pretty harsh
Speaker 2: at the time. Yeah, she said, you know, she felt
Speaker 2: like that kind of She was never too much. Really,
Speaker 2: when she really looked back at that line, it was
Speaker 2: more that he wasn't enough with what she ended up
Speaker 2: feeling at the end.
Speaker 1: So I remember guys used to say to me because
Speaker 1: I was always a thinking woman, I didn't know that
Speaker 1: I was smart, believe it or not. When I was
Speaker 1: young and beautiful, I didn't know that I was as
Speaker 1: smart as I am, and so I would be analyzing
Speaker 1: whatever situation was up. And many a guy have said
Speaker 1: to me, you think too much. And it was only
Speaker 1: years later that I learned how to say, you know,
Speaker 1: you actually don't think it enough for me, right, Like
Speaker 1: they didn't like they were intimidated by my brain. But
Speaker 1: at the time they insulted me by saying, like, stop thinking,
Speaker 1: just be emotional and sexy. I guess I don't know
Speaker 1: what it is. Is there anybody who went on a
Speaker 1: date with somebody they said something awkward and then the
Speaker 1: person went on to still marry them.
Speaker 2: Ooh, not that I know of.
Speaker 1: That was in the book.
Speaker 2: That's a good question.
Speaker 1: Though they got past it somehow, because I always wonder
Speaker 1: like it was we had the weirdest icebreaker, but then
Speaker 1: it all turned out fine in the end, because I
Speaker 1: am of the the vein of give men a chance. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's really hard. It's hard for them to step up,
Speaker 1: it's hard for them to ask a woman out, it's
Speaker 1: hard for them to showcase. But you know, I also
Speaker 1: always say to guys, do you know what it costs
Speaker 1: us to go on a date besides the hair, makeup, wardrobe, childcare, transportation,
Speaker 1: and then to sit and smile for you all night
Speaker 1: when we're thinking about that client we got to meet
Speaker 1: with tomorrow and the big day ahead of us. Right,
Speaker 1: it's work for us too, It's work for both people
Speaker 1: doing kind of an Academy Award winning performance on a date.
Speaker 1: All right, another one for us?
Speaker 2: Another one would be this came in from an anonymous
Speaker 2: contributor two months into their relationship. He said, not everyone
Speaker 2: thinks you're beautiful, but I do.
Speaker 1: Oohoo. You know what that goes in the category of
Speaker 1: So there are certain ways that women can or that
Speaker 1: men control women. Men who are insecure and they're afraid
Speaker 1: of losing their partner, they either control them physically where
Speaker 1: are you going? Who are you going to be with? No,
Speaker 1: you can't go out with a guy without me that
Speaker 1: you can't be friends with just guys you get you
Speaker 1: that blah blah blah blah blah, right, or they control
Speaker 1: them psychologically. Men are really good at making women feel
Speaker 1: less than not all men, some men, some manipulative narcissists. Right,
Speaker 1: So it's almost like you better stay with me because
Speaker 1: you'll never get better. You're lucky that I happen to
Speaker 1: think you're beautiful because your value on the mating marketplace
Speaker 1: out there is low. And that's how you know. Narcissists
Speaker 1: manipulate women. Right, all right, before we go, Emily, do
Speaker 1: you have one more for us? Yes? I do.
Speaker 2: This one came in actually from a teen which gives
Speaker 2: it a little bit of color as well. The line is,
Speaker 2: if you're ever hot at my house, just know you
Speaker 2: can take your shirt off and it's totally fine.
Speaker 1: Now a teenage boy, a teenage boy should say that. Okay,
Speaker 1: that sounds exactly like a tenth grader. Okay, if you
Speaker 1: had told me the guy was forty one, I would
Speaker 1: have been like, oh my goodness.
Speaker 2: Pit second that said she thought he was being thoughtful
Speaker 2: because it was summer, and then she she wives up
Speaker 2: pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: Well, Emily, thank you for joining us. Where can people
Speaker 1: get the book? The book is called Things I Heard
Speaker 1: Wild Dating. What can we get it?
Speaker 2: It's on a website, Yeah, Things I Heard While Dating
Speaker 2: dot com or on Amazon on Amazon.
Speaker 1: Emily O'Brien, what a lovely, cute book. And I hope
Speaker 1: if you've been married for twenty years that after doing
Speaker 1: all this research, you know it's time to stay married
Speaker 1: and bonker down, because that's what it's like out there. Okay,
Speaker 1: It's like she tested the water psychologically and went, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm going to work on things with my husband.
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us. My guest, Emily O'Brien, author
Speaker 1: of Things I Heard Wild Dating, and that brings the
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