WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:02.879 This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf 2 00:00:02.879 --> 00:00:05.400 I Am six forty, the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on 3 00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:10.000 demand on the iHeartRadio app k I AM six forty. 4 00:00:10.039 --> 00:00:12.119 You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the 5 00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:15.199 Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show. I am taking your calls. If 6 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:16.800 you'd like to call in, the number is one eight 7 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:19.640 hundred five two zero one five three four. If you're 8 00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:22.679 too shy, just send me a DM on Instagram at 9 00:00:22.839 --> 00:00:28.079 doctor Wendy Walsh. I'll keep your identity anonymous. Okay, I 10 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:30.480 think we have a talkback somebody recorded We're old you 11 00:00:30.480 --> 00:00:36.759 got that? Go ahead. Hi, my name is Sarah. I 12 00:00:36.799 --> 00:00:41.359 lost the phone number because I'm driving anyway. I wanted 13 00:00:41.479 --> 00:00:45.280 to know a couple questions. So you're talking about relationships. 14 00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:48.560 How about for the people that are a little bit 15 00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:55.560 older sixty plus? What would you suggest? Okay, So if 16 00:00:55.560 --> 00:00:57.000 you do forget the phone number, you know you can 17 00:00:57.039 --> 00:00:59.640 always go on the iHeartRadio app like Sarah did, and 18 00:00:59.679 --> 00:01:01.840 there's a talk back button and you can just record 19 00:01:01.880 --> 00:01:05.200 you a question. So Sarah, it doesn't matter. All the 20 00:01:05.319 --> 00:01:08.040 rules of engagement are the same, and the good news 21 00:01:08.079 --> 00:01:10.879 is The fastest growing group of people on dating apps 22 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:13.719 are people over the age of fifty. And the wonderful 23 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:16.040 thing about dating apps is that you put your age. 24 00:01:16.079 --> 00:01:18.040 Don't lie. People don't like them when people lie about 25 00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:20.640 their age, and they will search for you. Only a 26 00:01:20.680 --> 00:01:23.560 small minority of men actually always want to go young. 27 00:01:24.359 --> 00:01:27.519 Lots of people just want a best friend. My husband 28 00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:29.319 is a little older than me. We met in our 29 00:01:29.359 --> 00:01:33.879 fifties and he was searching for a peer a friend. Right, 30 00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:36.280 you don't have to put the sexy pictures on the 31 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:40.599 app if you're over sixty, put attractive pictures, some full 32 00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:42.640 length of you doing the things you do in your 33 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:46.879 life to show them who you are. But the other 34 00:01:46.920 --> 00:01:51.439 important thing is older people especially think like the first 35 00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:55.079 get together. The first meeting should be an exciting, romantic 36 00:01:55.159 --> 00:01:58.359 date with a total stranger off an app. No, have 37 00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:01.640 a phone call first, and then if you like what 38 00:02:01.719 --> 00:02:04.319 you hear on the phone, then get together for a 39 00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:08.400 short coffee date and then after that have the first date. 40 00:02:08.919 --> 00:02:13.599 Don't rush into big, high expectations. That is not the 41 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:17.199 thing to do, all right, And while I was on Instagram, 42 00:02:17.319 --> 00:02:21.159 somebody posted a question I thought very interesting. He said 43 00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:24.800 that he is from a wealthy family. He's engaged to 44 00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:28.360 a woman who comes from a low income family, and 45 00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:31.639 he's wondering what problems they're going to have. Well, you know, 46 00:02:31.719 --> 00:02:34.039 the obvious problem that people think of right away is, oh, 47 00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:36.719 my god, she's marrying him for his money. I hope. So. 48 00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:39.680 I mean, all women are gold diggers in some way. 49 00:02:39.919 --> 00:02:42.039 If you want to protect your wealth and your money, 50 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:44.520 make sure you have a pre nap. But keep in 51 00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:46.599 mind that if a woman's going to take decades off 52 00:02:46.599 --> 00:02:50.199 her life to our career to have children, she deserves 53 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:52.599 to be compensated for that. I remember talking to a 54 00:02:52.599 --> 00:02:54.680 family attorney one time, and he said, the best thing 55 00:02:54.680 --> 00:02:57.960 people should do is that anytime any partner of any 56 00:02:58.039 --> 00:03:02.439 gender stays home, they should be paid a salary every week, 57 00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:05.360 so they're paid for their time. Wouldn't that be great 58 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:09.159 if it worked out that way. The bigger the other 59 00:03:09.159 --> 00:03:12.560 difference that can happen is just a difference in values, 60 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:16.400 right you know, we all have a kind of financial psychology, 61 00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:20.719 psychology of money, and some people are very frugal and 62 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:23.000 they might be upset if you're spending a lot of money. 63 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:25.560 Sometimes it's the wealthy side that's the most frugal. It's like, 64 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:27.599 we won't spend that, and that's why you're wealthy because 65 00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:30.800 you saved really well. Other people believe like I deserve it, 66 00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:33.840 so let me have it, right. So it's about figuring 67 00:03:33.879 --> 00:03:36.680 out what someone's value is. And then there's other stuff. 68 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:38.439 I hate to put money on this one because you 69 00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:41.199 can be really wealthy and have no taste. I'm sorry, 70 00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:45.240 I mean no decorative taste, no taste when it comes 71 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:47.879 to certain things. And then there are people who may 72 00:03:47.919 --> 00:03:51.360 have low income but high education. If I read somewhere 73 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:54.840 actually that that is the target market of Trader Joe's. 74 00:03:55.120 --> 00:03:58.280 That when they first launched, they deliberately put themselves like 75 00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:02.080 near universities and simies, and they wanted to get people 76 00:04:02.120 --> 00:04:05.360 who played violin in a symphony or taught at a 77 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:09.080 small college and we're really smart and world traveled and 78 00:04:09.159 --> 00:04:12.439 had taste, but not a lot of income. I was like, 79 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:16.839 oh yeah, So it's about talking about all these things 80 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:19.600 before they come up in a big way. It's about 81 00:04:19.639 --> 00:04:23.560 having different values, right, all right, let me move on 82 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:28.920 to my DMS. Here here we go, Hey, doctor Wendy. 83 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:31.160 I was dating a guy and we got into a 84 00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:34.240 fight where I showed my ugly side a little too early. 85 00:04:36.040 --> 00:04:37.720 I don't think you're ever supposed to show your ugly set. 86 00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:40.360 I think you mean you got a little too authentic 87 00:04:40.439 --> 00:04:43.480 with your anger. He seems to have demoted me to 88 00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:46.240 a booty call. I don't show up to the late 89 00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:48.279 night calls, but I want to get back to our 90 00:04:48.399 --> 00:04:51.399 romantic dates. Is there a way to do this? You know, 91 00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:56.839 whenever there's conflict in a relationship, talking about commenting on 92 00:04:56.920 --> 00:05:00.000 it is the most important thing. There's not some manipul 93 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.439 relative strategy. It's you calling him and saying and getting 94 00:05:03.480 --> 00:05:06.120 him on the phone, not text on the phone and saying, hey, 95 00:05:07.480 --> 00:05:10.759 I'm really sorry that I got angry in that way 96 00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:13.519 and showed you a side of myself that I'm not 97 00:05:13.560 --> 00:05:16.360 really proud of. We're not close enough for me to 98 00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:20.160 ever have been that intimate with you. On the other hand, 99 00:05:20.759 --> 00:05:24.600 I feel like since that you've been, you know, more 100 00:05:24.800 --> 00:05:27.160 enjoying the fruits of my body without getting really close 101 00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:29.759 to me emotionally. So what should we do about this? 102 00:05:29.879 --> 00:05:32.120 Leave it open ended, like how should we handle this? 103 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:34.839 And see what he says. I love the word the 104 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:38.879 question how, especially for male brains, because it puts them 105 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:41.920 out of their emotional brain and into their prefrontal cortex 106 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:45.480 to problem solve. So how should we solve this is 107 00:05:45.639 --> 00:05:50.360 always a good question because you're in it together and 108 00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:53.759 maybe you learn something, right, I know, we all have 109 00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:56.600 tender spots, and we have to be able to control 110 00:05:56.600 --> 00:05:59.920 ourselves just at the beginning, until there's enough to tack, 111 00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:05.600 until there's enough security and attachment and there's enough intimacy. Right, 112 00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:11.319 I'm sorry that happened to you, Dear doctor Wendy. Should 113 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:17.319 I ask about my future partner's past relationships? Well, I 114 00:06:17.399 --> 00:06:21.279 have to tell you something that that is the number 115 00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:24.879 one conversation that most dating couples talk about, right, the 116 00:06:24.920 --> 00:06:29.519 relationship they just got out of, what their longest relationship was. Now, 117 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:32.560 there's a way to have this conversation without totally blaming 118 00:06:32.600 --> 00:06:36.920 your ex for everything. To show that one has emotional intelligence. 119 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:40.319 They would talk about their peace in it as well, like, 120 00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:43.560 you know, we weren't compatible because I was more like 121 00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:46.000 this and she was more like that. That's a healthy 122 00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:50.480 way to describe it, right. But yeah, you have absolutely 123 00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:53.839 every right because by the time they got to you, 124 00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:58.120 they had been trained by a lot of people who 125 00:06:58.279 --> 00:07:02.959 impacted their idea of love starting with their parents in 126 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:06.120 early life and then their teenage relationships. 127 00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:06.600 You know. 128 00:07:06.839 --> 00:07:08.560 One of the books I wrote is called The Boyfriend, 129 00:07:08.600 --> 00:07:12.759 asked how to evaluate his potential before you lose your heart, 130 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:16.560 And one of the questions was, what's the length of 131 00:07:16.600 --> 00:07:19.920 his longest relationship? You know? And if somebody's got to 132 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:22.519 like the age of thirty and they haven't had a 133 00:07:22.560 --> 00:07:25.360 one year relationship, you got a question, do they have 134 00:07:25.399 --> 00:07:28.120 the ability to stick it out? Right? So these are 135 00:07:28.279 --> 00:07:34.439 important questions that you should ask in a relationship. Dear 136 00:07:34.480 --> 00:07:37.040 doctor Wendy, I met a man at rals who told 137 00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:39.639 me I was stunning. Well, that's nice. We've been having 138 00:07:39.680 --> 00:07:43.639 great text conversations. I hate that. But he won't initiate 139 00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:47.360 an in person date, should I? Or does this mean 140 00:07:47.399 --> 00:07:52.279 he's not really interested in me? No? Okay, So here's 141 00:07:52.639 --> 00:07:56.839 the thing. In heterosexual relationships. Women should not you know, 142 00:07:57.079 --> 00:07:59.839 sperm chases egg and not the reverse. Women should not 143 00:07:59.879 --> 00:08:05.600 be chasing men. But women should issue an invitation. And 144 00:08:05.639 --> 00:08:09.000 you've done that by responding to his texts and being available. 145 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:13.360 And I'm sure you've said polite, flirty things on those texts. Right, 146 00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:17.879 He's had the invitation. He hasn't made the move. It 147 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:20.279 is not your job to chase him down. Now, not 148 00:08:20.720 --> 00:08:29.040 your job. Let this one go. Dear doctor Wendy, my 149 00:08:29.160 --> 00:08:33.679 girlfriend of one year sent me a positive pregnancy test 150 00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:37.200 that she got off Google. How do you know she 151 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.480 got off Google? Oh? I know she got it off Google. 152 00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:41.200 I should keep reading and then I'll know the answer. 153 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:44.480 I know. I know she got off Google because I 154 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:51.200 reverse google searched it. The tangled webs we weave and technology. 155 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:55.840 It is odd. Is this a deal breaker for a relationship? 156 00:08:55.960 --> 00:08:58.840 Or should I ask more about it? I'm turned off 157 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:03.759 by her. Look, everybody has their own threshold for what 158 00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:08.840 is a deal breaker. But this kind of lies about 159 00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:13.879 life and death, kind of lies. No, this is a 160 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:16.559 deal breaker. Okay, this is a deal breaker. This is awful. 161 00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:20.960 She's trying to coerce you into marriage or spending money 162 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:27.639 using complete false pretenses. She's betraying your trust. I don't 163 00:09:27.679 --> 00:09:31.639 think it can be fixed from here. Oh my goodness, 164 00:09:32.519 --> 00:09:38.879 that's terrible, Dear doctor Wendy. I was on a first 165 00:09:38.919 --> 00:09:42.200 date with a woman and she joked about my features 166 00:09:42.279 --> 00:09:47.120 and my dad bought Oh guys, I'm so sorry. I 167 00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:49.240 liked her, but this is distasteful. Should I give her 168 00:09:49.240 --> 00:09:56.759 another chance? I mean, you could have a conversation and say, hey, 169 00:09:56.840 --> 00:09:59.080 I just tell her your feelings. I didn't like what 170 00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:00.759 you said, call me the I had a dad bought. 171 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:04.000 If you're into me, yeah great, But if not, like chick, 172 00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:08.360 move on. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry. 173 00:10:08.360 --> 00:10:10.320 I'm just telling you move on. I think there are 174 00:10:10.360 --> 00:10:13.159 other women out there who will be better for you. 175 00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:17.759 And while I'm giving guys advice when we come back, 176 00:10:17.799 --> 00:10:20.919 there's a trend on social media where men are finally 177 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:23.200 decorating their bedrooms very lovely. If you want to see 178 00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:26.960 some great examples, just google around and you'll see. Let's 179 00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:29.879 talk about the common things that we find in men's 180 00:10:29.879 --> 00:10:34.080 bedroom and how they could do a little better. You're 181 00:10:34.080 --> 00:10:36.679 listening to the Dr Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM 182 00:10:36.720 --> 00:10:39.360 six forty we Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. 183 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:44.840 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 184 00:10:44.919 --> 00:10:47.320 AM six forty. 185 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:49.879 Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI 186 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:53.840 AM six forty, Live Everywhere at the iHeartRadio app. On 187 00:10:53.919 --> 00:10:57.519 the iHeartRadio App, I'm here I'm at the iHeartRadio studio now, 188 00:10:57.919 --> 00:11:00.600 but you can listen to me on the iHeartRadio up there. 189 00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:05.000 I got it out. So there's this trend online about 190 00:11:05.600 --> 00:11:12.519 men learning to actually decorate their apartments better, and if 191 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:15.600 you're a single guy, you might want to start seeing 192 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:18.519 what they're doing. Honestly, it's like, for the first time 193 00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:22.519 in history, men are suddenly caring about their environment. Maybe 194 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:25.279 because they're inviting ladies over, maybe because they want to 195 00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:29.039 be comfortable themselves. Maybe they're actually buying some decorator magazines. 196 00:11:29.840 --> 00:11:33.240 So if you're not one of those men, which are 197 00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:37.759 the minority, I will say that there are some things 198 00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:43.519 about men's bedrooms that are very different from women's bedrooms. 199 00:11:44.360 --> 00:11:46.600 Before I get into it, I do want to tell 200 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:49.519 a story. Years ago, I was on a TV set 201 00:11:49.799 --> 00:11:51.600 and you know, in between the shots and the takes, 202 00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:54.519 it was some you know, talk show or whatever. The 203 00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:56.960 guys work in the cameras and the floor director were 204 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:02.000 just chatting and I overheard one guy say to another, Oh, 205 00:12:02.039 --> 00:12:04.840 I'm so excited about tonight I got a date with 206 00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:09.440 this girl. And you know, my ear perks up because 207 00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:12.200 I expect he's going to talk about how hot she 208 00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:16.200 is how he might be able to take her to bed, 209 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:19.440 but no, you know what he said next? He said, 210 00:12:19.879 --> 00:12:22.240 I hope I get to sleep over. I love to 211 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:25.320 sleep in a girl bed. It's so cozy and they 212 00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:29.879 always have the best blankets and the fluffiest pillows. And 213 00:12:29.919 --> 00:12:31.919 the other guy goes, yeah, dude, I know what you mean. 214 00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:35.279 Girl rooms are great to sleep in. And I'm thinking, 215 00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:39.039 am I really hearing this right now? So back in 216 00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:41.320 the day when I got to trapes through a lot 217 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:45.720 of men's bedrooms saying I've had some life experience. You know. 218 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:49.440 One time I bought a piece of art from an 219 00:12:49.559 --> 00:12:52.080 artist he went on to become a very famous I 220 00:12:52.120 --> 00:12:53.879 was a young woman, he was a young artist. We 221 00:12:53.919 --> 00:12:55.960 only talked to each other by phone, and he shipped it. 222 00:12:55.960 --> 00:12:58.399 He was in San Francisco, this beautiful piece of art, 223 00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:00.639 and he's like, well, where are you going to display 224 00:13:00.759 --> 00:13:02.879 my art? And he was hoping I was going to say, 225 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:06.840 in a museum, a lobby of my office, at least 226 00:13:06.840 --> 00:13:11.000 my living room, And I said, just my bedroom and 227 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:13.360 he goes, oh, And I said, don't worry, dude, I 228 00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:16.039 get a lot of traffic in my bedroom. Your art 229 00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:21.600 will be seen anyway. His name is Eric Zeener. I 230 00:13:21.720 --> 00:13:25.120 recently contacted him on Instagram. His paintings are worth like 231 00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:28.039 fifty sixty thousand dollars. Now, I did not pay that. 232 00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:31.200 I paid for in the hundreds. And I showed a 233 00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:34.360 picture of the painting he'd made for me thirty years ago, 234 00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:37.559 and I said, you know, at one point it ended 235 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:40.600 up in a family room and a kid threw a 236 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:42.919 piece of plastic toast, you know, like them from their 237 00:13:42.919 --> 00:13:46.000 plastic kitchen, sir, and it sliced the canvas a little bit. 238 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:49.080 And he was so sweet on Instagram. He said, look, 239 00:13:49.399 --> 00:13:51.279 if you can get He gave me the name of 240 00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:54.679 someone who restores paintings, and he goesaid, I'll do the 241 00:13:54.759 --> 00:13:58.000 touch up painting on it, because I remember that painting 242 00:13:58.080 --> 00:14:00.799 so much. I didn't ask him if you remembered my 243 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:03.279 line about all the traffic in my bedroom. Didn't ask 244 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:06.679 him that anyway. The biggest thing I noticed way back 245 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:10.480 when when I traped through men's bedroom was a lack 246 00:14:10.519 --> 00:14:15.200 of complete decorative esthetic at all. When they do decorate, 247 00:14:15.559 --> 00:14:21.240 it fears that men like sports memorabilia, the middle aged 248 00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:26.159 playboys like old modeling books, the old modland picture. I 249 00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:30.279 don't know posters and models look for most men, though, 250 00:14:30.320 --> 00:14:36.039 the bedroom is a utilian, utilitarian place, right, So in 251 00:14:36.039 --> 00:14:40.039 a women's bedroom, you are going to find comfort, right, 252 00:14:41.080 --> 00:14:46.799 You're going to find high quality sheets in cotton, not chemicals. 253 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:50.440 I was actually sleeping in an airbnb recently and the 254 00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.919 room was very dark, and when I turned over at 255 00:14:53.039 --> 00:14:55.200 night in the bed, I was like, is my apple 256 00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:57.120 watch on? Why am I seeing this light? And I 257 00:14:57.200 --> 00:15:00.480 opened my eyes. It was sparks from the s sheets. 258 00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:03.720 They were so full of chemicals that the static electricity 259 00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:05.639 when I would turn over at night, the sheets would 260 00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:08.919 light up were sparked. Guys, don't buy those cheap sheets, please, 261 00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:15.240 cotton linen one hundred okay. And the guys often have 262 00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:18.200 sheets that are brown and navy blue. No, no, that's 263 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:20.519 poopy color. You don't want that in the bed. Okay. 264 00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:24.759 Here's what women hate, dudes. We hate completely mismass furniture. 265 00:15:25.399 --> 00:15:27.879 I know, sometimes your bedroom's got like one of your 266 00:15:27.879 --> 00:15:31.279 grandmother's antiques because it was a hand me down, maybe 267 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:35.519 something from your boyhood bedroom, something on sale from Target 268 00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:37.759 but not part of the Target. Actually is a great 269 00:15:37.799 --> 00:15:42.039 place lately to decorate, but it doesn't match what you 270 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:45.919 have going on. It wasn't thoughtfully executed. Okay. So women 271 00:15:46.039 --> 00:15:48.960 tend to be much more intentional about their rooms, and 272 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:53.399 they tend to care about comfort. So, dudes, I have 273 00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:55.639 just a little bit of advice for you if you 274 00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:59.159 are thinking of making a man cave that might attract 275 00:15:59.159 --> 00:16:02.080 a woman. Number one, I've already mentioned it only by 276 00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:06.759 natural fibers. Lady skins cannot handle those chemical sheets, just sing. 277 00:16:07.159 --> 00:16:12.639 Number two, add more pillows to your bed. Seeing two lonely, 278 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:17.039 forlorn flat pillows is not an invitation to dive into 279 00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:20.240 your bed. I'm going to say this about your smelly 280 00:16:20.279 --> 00:16:23.559 laundry basket. Get it out of the bedroom. I don't care. 281 00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.519 Put it in the closet, put it in the bathroom, 282 00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:27.519 and please make sure it has a lid on it. 283 00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:32.360 We have a much more highly attuned old factory response, 284 00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:37.279 and we can smell things that you can't. And in general, gentlemen, 285 00:16:37.879 --> 00:16:43.000 please buy lighter colors. Heavy dark wood might be masculine, 286 00:16:43.480 --> 00:16:47.279 but it feels like a cave to us. Recently, I 287 00:16:47.399 --> 00:16:49.360 was touring an apartment in New York with a friend 288 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:52.720 of mine who was moving in with her longtime boyfriend. 289 00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:55.799 And as she toured me. Everything she kept saying is 290 00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:57.840 I know it's brown. This brown thing's going to go. 291 00:16:58.039 --> 00:17:00.200 I know this brown piece of furniture is going to go. Oh, 292 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:02.000 this is too dark. We're going to fix that, right, 293 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:06.240 Like she knew that women like things light and bright 294 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:09.799 as much as possible. So guys catch with the trend. 295 00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:13.279 Look on social media. Lots of guys are doing it. 296 00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:18.279 They're learning how to make masculine yet fashionable and decorative rooms. 297 00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:24.039 And this is actually attracting women. All right, speaking of 298 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:27.400 what else not to do when we come back, But 299 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.279 when we come back, I have a wonderful author who 300 00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:32.960 has written a light Okay, it's light, it's humorous. We're 301 00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:36.279 not putting you down. Guys. A book called Things I 302 00:17:36.519 --> 00:17:40.200 Heard While Dating You would not believe some of the 303 00:17:40.200 --> 00:17:42.960 things women wrote to her that they had heard men 304 00:17:43.079 --> 00:17:46.240 say on dates. When we come back. You were listening 305 00:17:46.279 --> 00:17:48.720 to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six 306 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:51.640 forty were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. 307 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:56.240 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 308 00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:57.400 AM six forty. 309 00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:01.200 Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Why Show on KFI 310 00:18:01.319 --> 00:18:05.440 AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. My 311 00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:09.480 next guest blew me away with an email. It was 312 00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:12.680 an email because it was so well constructed that I 313 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:15.279 knew she would be an excellent Guessie, I'm putting her 314 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.680 on the spot before she even knows. My next Guest 315 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:22.000 is an author based in Raleigh, North Carolina. She is 316 00:18:22.039 --> 00:18:26.079 a writer and editor of the book called The Things 317 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:29.519 I Heard While Dating. It is a book that looks 318 00:18:29.559 --> 00:18:33.480 into the quirky, qwinge worthy, and often hilarious. We have 319 00:18:33.559 --> 00:18:35.440 to have a sense of humor about this, folks, otherwise 320 00:18:35.480 --> 00:18:39.839 it would be pure tragedy hilarious world of romantic dialogues. Hi, 321 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:41.759 Emily O'Brien, how are you. 322 00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:44.799 I'm good, how are you doing good? 323 00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:48.039 So, first question, what prompted you to write this book? 324 00:18:48.039 --> 00:18:51.240 Because your background is actually in journalism having to do 325 00:18:51.319 --> 00:18:55.960 with all kinds of things from architecture to cooking and 326 00:18:56.119 --> 00:18:57.240 now dating. 327 00:19:00.200 --> 00:19:05.319 Right while that's an interesting story, I am actually out 328 00:19:05.319 --> 00:19:08.720 of the dating realm right now. I'm twenty years into marriage. 329 00:19:08.759 --> 00:19:11.960 But I remembered something strange and really out of the 330 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:14.960 blue one day that a date had said to me, 331 00:19:15.559 --> 00:19:18.680 and I just could not stop laughing, like not just 332 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:21.240 at the line, but also it was a little bit 333 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:24.279 of a time capsule into who I was at that time. 334 00:19:25.079 --> 00:19:29.359 And the line was, oh, so you just have more 335 00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:33.000 hair on one side of your head, and I said, no, 336 00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:38.519 that's just how I parton it, and I don't mind you. 337 00:19:38.559 --> 00:19:41.400 I had a very sing I literally thought that you 338 00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:43.880 had thin hair on one side and thick on another. 339 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:47.279 It didn't consider that a side part means you're pulling 340 00:19:47.319 --> 00:19:49.359 some over to the other side. 341 00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:57.000 Correct, yes, wow, wow. So I remembered that line and 342 00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:00.920 it was just kind of an awkward moment that happened 343 00:20:00.920 --> 00:20:02.640 in the date, and I just brushed it off because 344 00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.960 I thought, I don't know if he is just in 345 00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:07.799 awe of my hair for some reason and it was 346 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:11.599 nothing remarkable at all, or maybe trying to land a 347 00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:14.039 bad joke. I mean, that would be the maybe best 348 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:18.400 case scenario. And then later I remembered something else a 349 00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:22.480 different date had said to me, and I started asking 350 00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:26.240 my girlfriends, do you have stories? Did anything weird happen 351 00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:30.039 to you? And I did not expect to unlock such 352 00:20:30.039 --> 00:20:35.480 a treasure trove of funny, cringe worthy and just puzzling 353 00:20:35.559 --> 00:20:36.480 lines in general. 354 00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:38.839 Okay, before we get into it. I do want to 355 00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:42.680 say that we love men, and men you are trying okay, 356 00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:46.440 but some of you are bumbling around in the dating world. 357 00:20:46.839 --> 00:20:51.319 And anyway, I will say that research has shown that 358 00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:54.319 one of the best ways that a man can showcase 359 00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:58.799 his most important trait, which is intelligence, is through humor, 360 00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:05.079 and because of that, some men who aren't naturally funny, 361 00:21:05.279 --> 00:21:08.559 will attempt it as a way to, you know, showcase 362 00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:11.759 the humor. So this is lighthearted. We still love you men, 363 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:17.400 but let's get into it. Let's talk about some questionable 364 00:21:17.480 --> 00:21:21.200 pickup lines before we get to the date. Anything you 365 00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:22.720 heard that was interesting. 366 00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:29.799 Oh yes, I did you know questionable pickup lives. One 367 00:21:29.880 --> 00:21:32.960 that was actually damped on a dating app was do 368 00:21:33.039 --> 00:21:38.359 you have stinky feet? And the woman wrote back no, 369 00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:42.359 and he genuinely was upset that she did not have 370 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:45.680 stinky feet. So I suppose that was definitely a flop. 371 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:47.920 That was a fetish. I think that was a fetish 372 00:21:48.359 --> 00:21:51.680 because one time, when I was young, a guy asked 373 00:21:51.720 --> 00:21:58.480 me to specifically wear strappy shoes to the date, which, gentlemen, 374 00:21:58.480 --> 00:22:01.599 if you're listening, not a good idea to tell women 375 00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:04.079 what to wear before you've even met them. On a date, 376 00:22:04.119 --> 00:22:06.720 but an he wanted strappy shoes. I got what he 377 00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:08.960 where he was coming from. So I said, listen, dude, 378 00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:12.160 if you're like got some foot fetish thing, I've got 379 00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:15.359 bunions and pump bumps, and you're not going to be happy, 380 00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:17.880 all right. And it was in the days where we 381 00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:21.319 wore high heels every single day. Did you know, by 382 00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:23.720 the way, Emily, when you start wearing sneakers and stop 383 00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:25.880 wearing those high heels, all that goes away and your 384 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:30.880 feet get pretty again, just saying so anyway, he came up, 385 00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:33.079 he said, oh no, no, I don't It's fine, you know, 386 00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:35.359 just wear whatever you want on the date. So I 387 00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:39.480 remember wearing clothes toed pumps. But while we were at 388 00:22:39.559 --> 00:22:42.720 the restaurant, a woman in a slinky dress walked by 389 00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:48.680 with strappy shoes, and he couldn't help himself turned to 390 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:50.160 me and said, oh my god, did you see your feet? 391 00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:52.119 Don't they look great? As if I was going to 392 00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:57.240 share in this joy with him? So yeah, oh no, 393 00:22:57.599 --> 00:22:59.519 I didn't see him after that. I didn't see Hey, 394 00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:01.319 it's okay, hey if he has a food fetish, But 395 00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:03.599 I just didn't, you know, the first date just seemed 396 00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:06.440 early to go there, all right? Any other pickup lines 397 00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:09.880 you heard from women? I did. 398 00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:14.720 One woman submitted a line that said he said to 399 00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:17.880 her pack your bags, let's go to Bali. And this 400 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:21.359 was on their first date after he showed up at 401 00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:24.480