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Speaker 1: If I was Kerman in this situation, I would have

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walked up to Kizzie and I was said, Hey, don't

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tell anybody. But I was up on the deck and

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I heard all of the decies, all the guys. They

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were all saying, you're the hottest girl in.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: That would have turned that little frown upside down, if

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you know what I mean. That's all she cares.

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Speaker 2: If I think, I think that's actually a brilliant take

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your brilliant wet handlements. Hi, Hello, and welcome to another

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brand spanking welcome board. Let me take that again. I'm

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gonna take it again. Ready, can you give me content.

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Speaker 1: Three two one?

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Speaker 2: Welcome aboard another brand spanking episode of bad TV. I'm Dylan,

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That as Patrick.

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Speaker 1: Great to be here, permission to come aboard.

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Speaker 2: Granted, Calen is here behind the ones and twos, So

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what's up with him today?

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Speaker 1: He always says it like that.

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Speaker 2: Does he get bad energy from him? Hey? Very fat?

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Speaker 1: I'm looking fat? No me, No, you don't look fat

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at all, dude.

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Speaker 2: How was your turkey day?

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Speaker 1: Oh well, I'll probably talk about that on APS me too. Well,

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at least my mother in law didn't die on my

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kitchen floor. Like she tried to last question.

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Speaker 2: She tried to die. Yeah, a lot of stuff a

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Patreon Salt Lake City me Ceci and Ruby tried to

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do an art project yesterday with my baby. Did not go.

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Speaker 1: Well, Oh, that's so funny.

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Speaker 2: So did not go probably around.

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Speaker 1: The same time. What is Lucy six months old? Yeah,

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So we went out and got this organic paint and

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we put it on this gigantic white piece of paper

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on the floor and we gave it to Ellie and

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she was like six or seven months old. We let

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her hands go in it. None of it hit the paper, well,

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some of it dripped on it. It all went in

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her mouth, in her face.

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Speaker 2: Oh with these people that get these clean footprints and handprints,

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I don't understand. Anyways, I burned my child. We'll get

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into all of it at patron dot com slash another party.

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Speaker 1: While we're there doing a little housekeeping. January is when

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bad TV is going to really open up wide. We

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got a lot of shows coming at you. We'll be

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covering Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We'll be covering the

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new season of Traders. Yes, we will be covering The

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Bachelorette with three guy names Taylor, Frankie Paul.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna watch that ed Gain thing that that

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Oh no, hell.

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Speaker 1: No, I will not watch. I will not watch a

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show that a guy wears other people's faces. Okay, but

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I will be watching what's that other show we're gonna watch.

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Speaker 2: All Her Fault? Nope, Oh you're talking about Jarvis you are.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no,

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We'll be watching something else. Anyway, It's gonna be all

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all there for January, so get excited about it. I

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think we're gonna put a Bachelor for free, and I

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think we're gonna put Patreon behind a paywall, and.

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Speaker 2: Then Patreon's gonna behind a paywall.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. And then Dylan

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and I are discussing this is there's no promises. Don't

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get Dylan yelling at me. We're thinking of putting our

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first our recap of season one of OG below Deck

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on the free feed, where we interviewed almost all the cast.

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Speaker 2: Members, and I don't remember what kind of anything.

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Speaker 1: Well, Dylan called one of the cast members a sea rat,

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and it did not go well. One of the other

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cast members, for some reason, she didn't want you to

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say what state she was living in, although she seemed

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kind of lonely because she didn't want to get off

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the phone with us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was really sad, to be honest. Yeah, no,

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Bravo was really plucking people from under bridges back for

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the first season. The casting was almost batting a thousand

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all lunatics and you know, they're sea rats, but they're

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not lunatics. They're human beings, you know, but oge my god,

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psych word shit.

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Speaker 1: So while we're away on a holiday break, we may

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release an episode of that and it's some of our

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best work, honestly, but it's not for the faint of heart.

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If you maybe listen to the first episode, and if

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you're truly offended by it, definitely don't listen anymore.

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Speaker 2: No, it can't get better, but listen. We love you

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guys very much. We hope you had a lovely Turkey day,

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calein and do you have a nice Turkey day?

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Speaker 1: Very nice?

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Speaker 2: You see what I'm talking about. It was a truncated

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kind of bite response.

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Speaker 1: That's a producer response. He doesn't want to get in

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our way, man, really, yeah, where the hosts? Where the talkers?

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He presses buttons.

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Speaker 2: Don't demean him like that. He's attacking me, and I

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still think that was too far. So listen, we have

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an episode of Below Deck med to talk about a

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lot of boyfriend girlfriend talk tonight. One of the most

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confounding phenomenons in the sea rat world. What are you

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guys doing talking about this?

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Speaker 1: For especially Max? He's a stage one.

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Speaker 2: Creeper stalker, Stage one creeper stock.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna get into his sea rat history.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a lot of sea rat history tonight. I

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thought it was actually quite an enjoyable episode. I'm gonna

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give it eighty seven pots. Now, that's ten more pots

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than I gave after the hunt. Wow, fun fact, that

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was it?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Okay? Did you watch Eastbound and Down first season

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of Kenny Powers some of it? Okay? Well he was

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chasing this girl around.

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Speaker 2: Maybe too sad he was such an asshole.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a jerk. Well, anyway, he really wanted

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I know the actress is his name? It was Katie Mixon,

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But I don't know what character's name was on the show.

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Speaker 2: I know why you know her name?

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Speaker 1: Why is that?

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Speaker 2: Could you looked up if those were actually her boobs? No?

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Speaker 1: I didn't no, no, no, I thought she was gorgeous. So anyway,

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I compare that with something that Nate did at the

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tail end of this episode, which is he crawls in

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bed with Kizzie and then uh, Kermit walks in and

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the lights go on and he has a second, like

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second thoughts about the whole thing, right right right. I

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don't think if that light didn't turn on, would he

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have those second thoughts. I'm comparing this Eastbound and Down

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season one, where Kenny was rubbing up against Katie Mixon's character.

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He really wanted to have sex with her, but while

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he was seeing her beautiful breast, he actually came in

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his pants and pretended that he didn't and said, no,

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I can't have sex with you, right, oh god, I

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can't I have I must wait.

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Speaker 2: You think Nathan came himself and that's why he had

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to leave.

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Speaker 1: I think either that or he thought he was he

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was pushing too far if he if Kermit had gotten on,

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which she looks pretty hot.

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Speaker 2: You know you given the demographics of our audience, equating

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this to a very specific moment from the first season

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of He's Bounded Out, which Caylen, can you look up

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when that came out. Where are we talking about two? Yeah,

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i'd say is worse than me comparing stuff to Jarvis

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Yards two thousand and nine.

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Speaker 1: It's not that far back.

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Speaker 2: It's very far back. How many pots?

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Speaker 1: Fourteen?

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Speaker 2: Caleum, what'd you think?

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Speaker 1: He's great? Yeah? Great, I'd give it ninety pots.

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Speaker 2: That's a lot.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we have two great sponsors, by the way. One

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i'm both. I'm using Lola blankets and hymns and hers.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for hymns and nerves and thank you for blankets.

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Speaker 1: So Sandy's pist Yeah, she's really tearing into Nate. Oh yeah,

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what are your thoughts on this?

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Speaker 2: I didn't think you were going to ask me that.

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Speaker 1: Well, Max is around now, I got it, I got.

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Speaker 2: It now, No, I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I do, okay, because he's letting the charter guests drive

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the boat and he's right next to him. But Nate's

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getting hell for it. I mean, the guy's like a

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football field away. Sandy happens to catch it because I

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think she's got those binoculars. Yeah, I think this is

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a Max thing, not a Nate thing. Yeah, that's he's

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supposed to do.

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Speaker 2: Yell at him, right, this is a this is a

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very like I'm gonna take everything I heard in Marriott

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Room B very literally, and I'm going to go lead

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that way, right. And it's that kind of thing where like, well,

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if you're the leader of the organization, that it's your fault.

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It's like, I understand if we're having like structural problems

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and there are things that are kind of nagging coming

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up all the time, but if one person does something

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completely out of pocket, it's okay to talk to them

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and not fucking me about it because I didn't fucking

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do nothing. You know, I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1: A little side bar here. Did you ever see the

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Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee porn video? No, okay, we

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get this.

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Speaker 2: I thought you were gonna say, documentary on their boring lives.

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Speaker 1: Oh, a lot of a lot of shows on that.

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Speaker 2: I definitely watched the porn though.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, remember they he had a boat. He steered

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the boat with his wang.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, I didn't. I didn't. How long is

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the porno?

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Speaker 1: Uh? It's like clips and clips. They have sex on

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the boat. They're having a party, but at one point

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he whips out his wing and he steers it with

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his wing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm confused about boats and how.

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Speaker 1: Difficult because she was married nine times and she said

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Tommy was the love of her life. Now she married

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one dude named Rick Solomon twice and she had told

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him he's the love of her life.

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Speaker 2: I don't do this, can't keep a man thing.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think you called her. He's the one who

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made Paris Hilton famous because he did the sex video

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with her, and he called Pamela and he said, hey,

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you married me twice. He told me I was a

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lit your life. And then she said, well, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, all you losers, Cis white heterosexuals out there, if

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you want to really piss your wife off, just say

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something like like if you see Kate Becketts sale lot

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of TV just got she cannot keep him on. I mean,

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you'll have your fucking throats lit. Anyways, so Max wild

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Card flew off with the guest Imron, who.

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Speaker 1: Is hey handed out. He apologized at the end of it.

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Speaker 2: Imrom Mmm, okay.

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Speaker 1: He said, I apologize if I offended anybody.

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Speaker 2: You know. Imron reminds me a lot of Tesla driver

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I encountered today larch Mott. I'm walking down Larchmont. There's

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a driveway in the Bank of America parking lot. You

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know it.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's where we went to lunch before we went

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to the Love Is Blind from.

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Speaker 2: Yes, this Tesla, there's a sidewalk. You're supposed to leave

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the sidewalk clear. He lurches forward, blocking me. I can't.

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I can't get I can't walk anymore. So you know

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what I do. I squeeze like I'm trying to get

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through a park, like like I'm trying to get in

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a you know, like a tight parking spot. I'm touching

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the front of his car and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you're on foot.

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Speaker 2: I'm on foot. So I'm squeezing in front of his

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car and I'm just it's this slow move around his

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bumper and I'm just front facing the entire time, and

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he's looking at me like what are you doing? And

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I'm just giving him a thumbs up. And I was like,

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you're That's what Imbron reminds me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, why are you engaging that?

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Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Why engage in that? What

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are you talking about? Why engage in that? These Tesla

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drivers need to be I'm not saying put to death.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I understand. It's a it's a cheap vehicle. I'm thinking

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about getting one.

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Speaker 1: Hey, let me cleanse the palette of the podcast, because

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you're you're getting no, I think you're getting political or

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something there, Tesla. It's only Tesla drivers that are assholes.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no, hang on, you're doing

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this thing where where it's racist that you thought it

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was racist. This is not political. Okay, this is a

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fact of the fucking universe. People that drive Tesla's are assholes.

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The way they drive Tesla's are assholes. Okay, Pat's Pat's

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family has a Tesla.

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Speaker 1: We bought it before the election. Okay, Okay, it was

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a great deal.

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Speaker 2: There are many more assholes on the road than Tesla's,

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Mini vans, chargers, F one fifties, sometimes a Prius. Oh yeah.

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There are mostly many forms of poison out there on

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the road.

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Speaker 1: Quick story, all right, because we got to talk about

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the show.

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Speaker 2: But I think you're really dragging us down. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think the audience is gonna be awestruck by this. Okay, Okay,

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So I swear to God, what's that demon in fatal

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destination or whatever final destination he was coming for me

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last Wednesday? Does the demon have a name, final destination.

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Speaker 2: Let's call him Jeff.

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Speaker 1: Jeff is out for me last Wednesday, day four Thanksgiving.

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So I have never had this happen to me.

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Speaker 2: Can I guess?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead?

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Speaker 2: Truck filled with rebar in front of you, drive O.

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Speaker 1: I wish no, no, no, okay, it was I'm pulling

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out and I'm in Hancock Park. I don't understand the

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streets that well. So I pull out a little bit

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down this residential street and I'm I'm like pulled out,

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like out of the street where I would have been

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at fault if a car is coming anyway. This car

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comes whizzing around at me, coming towards towards the driver's side.

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He's gonna fucking t bone me. I just turn and

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I freeze and I go. If I reverse, he could

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head that way. If I pull forward, he could head

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that way. And in my brain, in that instant, I said,

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stay here right. He swerves right by me to the

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point where he misses my backfender, to the point where

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it shook my car. He was so close.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: And I hear him swerve and think I looked in

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the back and I was like, thank god, he didn't

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crash anything. And I just fucking buzzed out of there.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh you it was your fault, oh.

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Oh my, I just got the hell

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out of it.

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Speaker 2: What car were you driving?

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Speaker 1: I was driving my work truck, work truck, assholes and

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I and I gave him middle finger to Jeff, I said,

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not today.

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Speaker 2: Not today, you fuck u CPA fucking.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's the demon in Final Destination. It

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wasn't the driver.

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Speaker 2: No, I know. But if the demon is named Jeff,

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he's a merchant of death. But also he kind of sounds.

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Speaker 1: Like a CPI yess numbers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, let's talk about the show for just one second.

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So Sandy says, get your shit together, and because of that,

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Nathan gets ripped. You know how Nathan is when Sandy

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comes down on him. He starts calling the other sea

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rats pieces of shit, and he's saying I'll fucking kill

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you and stuff. It's really weird, poor bastard.

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Speaker 1: He's already losing his hair as it is. Now we

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learn from Sandy that this this method to her madness

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is she applies pressure to the sea rats, right, and

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this is to bring out the best in a sea rat.

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Speaker 2: Now I have some news for She's like a hydraulic

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press with skittles.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's to bring out the best skittles. But

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this is the news for Sandy. The ocean is filled

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with sea rats that had pressure applied to them and

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they just turned to the fucking bottle.

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Speaker 2: Uh huh.

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Speaker 1: So I don't have much faith in this methods in

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and you.

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Speaker 2: Know a thing or two about the bottle, Sandy. Oh yeah,

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so right, let's not drive these sea rats to drink

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any more than they're already doing. Can I say they

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we get a shot of the pool toys and everything

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floating out there. Looks like shit, looks like looks like

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it looks like twenty three palms. What's that place called

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thirty two palms?

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Speaker 1: That's the dump with a beautiful name.

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Speaker 2: Right, you go to a motel there, you know, bloodstains

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on the wall and whatnot. That's what it looks like.

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They put all the pool toys out in the little

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kidney bean pooled. That's what it looks like. It looks

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like shit. I agree, all right, So we're doing a

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coaching eto co coacho coach ouwa, yes, and it is

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it is a little pig. Now we'll talk about the

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young suckling who gave his life and gave implies a

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kind of voluntary nature. It wasn't. It was ripped from

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its mother's womb and then mercilessly taken out so that

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Inrod could eat it. And it's stuff like that that

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makes me want to see what's after what we're doing here?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Wait, so Dylan, you're I want to get this right? Yeah,

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the farmer didn't walk into the barn and said, hey, guys, hey, Jeff,

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who wants to be eaten by an asshole on a boat?

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Speaker 2: Raise your hand?

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Speaker 1: Didn't go like that. Yeah, no, So so get this

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And pigs.

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Speaker 2: Pigs can't even raise their hands. So I don't know

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what that guy was doing.

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Speaker 1: I heard they're really intelligent. You think they get the

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fuck out of there. If they're that smart, right, let's

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get out of here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So Josh says that he's got a kind of a

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moral quandary with this or issue with this, which is

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a rarity in the culinary arts.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the culinary arts are pretty you know, duck off

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a water off a dead duck's back kind of thing,

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00:17:04,559 --> 00:17:09,000
like they'll bet Fogara is fine. And you know, I've

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been told that they come to love it.

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Speaker 1: Banned in California, by the way, really, I think so.

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Speaker 2: Goddamn Kevin Newsom just makes everything not fun. Dude, I

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00:17:19,759 --> 00:17:22,279
can't stand that fucking guy loves fires.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I want to say, see that episode of

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Parts Unknown with Anthony he suffocates a fucking goat and

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00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,640
he actually tells the camera he's like in this tribe

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or something, it's you know, it's part of the tribe.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're having blood for dinner. That's right.

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Speaker 1: They drink the blood after he stufficates and he turns

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the camera says I I'm having a problem with this,

364
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and then two days later he fucking hangs himself in

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a No, it.

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Speaker 2: Was decades later, but I understand what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: He's he didn't take himself out like Keith Carroty, and

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he was beating off in a closet, which one would

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argue is a better way to go out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean. We had a a

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00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,319
space monkey problem in high school. You know, a space monkey.

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00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,200
Space monkey it's when kids choke each other and jack

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each other off or something like that. They're like, you

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00:18:09,319 --> 00:18:12,079
got to stop doing that. Okay, Well, you're gonna get.

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Speaker 1: Hurt and seemed like a problem at all.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Meanwhile, Nate looks like a deflated balloon.

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Speaker 2: Okay, meanwhile, meanwhile, right, jesz's pete. Kathy's upstairs all the time,

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00:18:23,839 --> 00:18:26,400
She's got two stripes. Why is she not up there all?

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Speaker 1: Now? Who does she confide in with this?

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Speaker 2: Dylan, Jeff, I don't know.

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00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:35,839
Speaker 1: Josh, Yeah, Josh the galley telling Josh about how unfair

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00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,000
Kathy gets to serve drinks to assholes in the sunlight

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while she's stuck in all day cleaning fucking toilet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then she's like, oh, by the way, also,

385
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,480
I'm so horny, and then she licks her lips.

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Speaker 1: This is what Josh should have said, because she did

387
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,680
not say that. She said therapy sessions are thirty bucks

388
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,680
an hour. Otherwise, get the fuck out here.

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Speaker 2: Thirty bucks an hour.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a cheap right, Or he could have said,

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go to better Help dot com slash bad TV.

392
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,640
Speaker 2: No, it's actually Rula dot com slash use that. But

393
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,880
we've also been sponsored by Better Help in the past,

394
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,839
and the issue was that they had a problem with

395
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:16,559
our ads and they were not thrilled about us.

396
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,640
Speaker 1: Well, I said people should uh post signing up for

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00:19:20,799 --> 00:19:22,799
better Help and tell us why they signed up.

398
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, we told a couple of fans to record their

399
00:19:24,839 --> 00:19:27,200
sessions and post them in the Facebook group. And we

400
00:19:27,279 --> 00:19:30,720
also got pretty vivid about the events in your life

401
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,319
that can lead you to better help. And they weren't

402
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:33,880
thrilled about it.

403
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,759
Speaker 1: I think they that's when they canceled.

404
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,599
Speaker 2: They wrote us a letter saying it's about getting better,

405
00:19:40,799 --> 00:19:44,960
it's not about looking back, and we were like, no problem.

406
00:19:45,279 --> 00:19:50,920
So Asha is going to fix this whole Jizzy Kathy

407
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:56,920
thing bye, and this is an inventive conflict resolution technique.

408
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,720
She's gonna hold Jizzi like baby, and then she's gonna

409
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:06,799
take a shit and then hopefully things get better. I'm

410
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,240
not sure. I don't think that's gonna work. But listen,

411
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,359
Ash is great.

412
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Speaker 1: She's good, and she's normally an out of the box thinker.

413
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,559
But if I was Kerman in this situation, I would

414
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have walked up to Kizzie and I was said, Hey,

415
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:21,160
don't tell anybody. But I was up on the deck

416
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,759
and I heard all of the decies, all the guys,

417
00:20:24,039 --> 00:20:25,960
they were all saying, you're the hottest girl. I WoT

418
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,079
uh that would have turned that little frown upside down.

419
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,079
You know what I mean, because that's all she cares.

420
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Speaker 2: If I think, I think that's actually a brilliant I

421
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,400
think a brilliant way to handle this. All right, So

422
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,559
we get ready for dinner. But before we get ready

423
00:20:40,559 --> 00:20:46,720
for dinner, let's get ready for an ad for Lola blankets.

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00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:48,319
Speaker 1: Oh I love Lola blankets.

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00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 2: What did I do this morning?

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00:20:50,839 --> 00:20:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wasn't at your house.

427
00:20:52,279 --> 00:20:56,160
Speaker 2: I'll tell you. I woke up with my daughter, who's

428
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:01,400
got a cold. She's a little sniffley. It was cold downstairs.

429
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:08,240
It's too chilly, right, put on Pluribus episode five, Episode

430
00:21:08,279 --> 00:21:10,519
five threw on a Lola blanket.

431
00:21:10,759 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be funny if your daughter threw her diaper

432
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,000
full of poop at the tv? So this sucks. This

433
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,799
story arc needs to go somewhere on a second.

434
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 2: It's not about that, It's about Lolah. Right. We were

435
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,119
so warm and we were so comfy, we were so happy.

436
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:33,480
Lola blankets make people happy. Lola blankets make babies happy.

437
00:21:33,519 --> 00:21:37,640
Oh my god. I had some people over this weekend.

438
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,079
They took a look at my Lola blanket. They go,

439
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,960
what is that? I go feel it. They go, oh

440
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,680
my gosh. I said, use promo code bad TV. You

441
00:21:45,759 --> 00:21:46,680
get forty percent off.

442
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Speaker 1: I bet They said, can I can? I? Can? I

443
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:50,960
put it on top of me? And you said.

444
00:21:50,799 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 2: No, no, that's my Lola blanket. And then I kicked

445
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,279
them out of my fucking house. Okay, I give the

446
00:21:57,319 --> 00:21:59,960
gift of softness this holiday season with Lola Blankets. For

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Lola Blankets dot com and use code bad TV for

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forty percent off. After you purchase, they're gonna ask you

452
00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:17,759
where you heard about them. Please support our show and

453
00:22:17,839 --> 00:22:20,359
tell them we sent you. It's Seriously, it's the best

454
00:22:20,559 --> 00:22:25,079
gift you can give someone who's not like a uh,

455
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,559
it's the that's Dan. He's really into Legos. We gotta

456
00:22:28,559 --> 00:22:30,279
get him a Lego said, like he's gonna he's not

457
00:22:30,279 --> 00:22:33,079
gonna want a Lola blanket. But normal people who aren't nerds,

458
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,359
cool people, they want to Lola. My father in law,

459
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,359
you're talking about Ruby.

460
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:43,039
Speaker 1: Grandpa Ruby. He tried taking my daughter's at a sketch

461
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,920
home from Thanksgiving. It just connected with him and I said,

462
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,680
I'll get you one for Christmas. Old man.

463
00:22:49,799 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Wow.

464
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,519
Speaker 1: We just hone in on things that we were connected

465
00:22:53,559 --> 00:22:54,240
with as a child.

466
00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 2: We're also brought to you by Hers, Hers weight law. Okay,

467
00:23:01,759 --> 00:23:04,799
I'm on it. And it's not just HER's weight loss Okay,

468
00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:10,880
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469
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,119
Everywhere you look right now these days, I mean people

470
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are talking about weight loss medications. It's the buzz at brunch,

471
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,079
your group chats, even at the doctor's office. But how

472
00:23:20,079 --> 00:23:23,799
do you know if weight loss medications are right for you? Hers, Hers,

473
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474
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and it's a little one and a quick one.

475
00:23:29,799 --> 00:23:31,279
Speaker 1: You talk about fifteen minutes and.

476
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Speaker 2: Hers will go this is for you or this is

477
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not for you?

478
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Speaker 1: Here do we need to talk to a human being?

479
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480
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481
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482
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483
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484
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485
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486
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487
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488
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That's f O R H E R S dot com,

489
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490
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Weight Loss by Hers is not available everywhere. Compounded drug

491
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products are not approved or evaluated for safety, effectiveness, or

492
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quality by the FDA. Prescription requires the website for full details,

493
00:24:20,839 --> 00:24:25,119
important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends on product

494
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:35,160
and plan purchased. Okay, we ride to dinner. Imron, oh, well,

495
00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:40,200
getting ready, he's getting ready. He looks into mirror, says, God, damn,

496
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,880
am I good looking? Now you're not. You look like Skeeter.

497
00:24:47,079 --> 00:24:49,559
You look like Skeeter from Doug. And then he goes

498
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,799
upstairs and starts talking about how it's difficult to find

499
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,319
maturity in twenty year old women, but he still has

500
00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:02,160
sex with him anyways, I mean dad of the year.

501
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,720
This guy, I don't know. He's cool. He is so

502
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,240
fucking cool. So we get a little sea rat history

503
00:25:08,319 --> 00:25:11,599
here with Kathy, and it's a sad one. They didn't

504
00:25:11,599 --> 00:25:13,119
eat dinner together at the table.

505
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll see. Let's break down the game film. Yeah,

506
00:25:15,799 --> 00:25:18,599
this is the sea rat history for Kathy. Her mom

507
00:25:18,759 --> 00:25:22,160
drove a cab, so she never made food for little Kathy,

508
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,680
so she spent a lot of time alone, which is

509
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:29,480
why she's so independent. Now, the score on the Sea

510
00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:32,759
Rat sadscale is inconclusive at this point. Okay, you may

511
00:25:32,759 --> 00:25:39,279
be asking why, definitely, where the fuck is Dad? I

512
00:25:39,279 --> 00:25:41,680
think we all know he's been seen less than the

513
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,480
invisible Man, which is why she works on these boats

514
00:25:45,519 --> 00:25:46,960
minus two points.

515
00:25:47,319 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 2: Man is hardly ever seen.

516
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,640
Speaker 1: Unless Dylan pointed out, unless you throw pain around.

517
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 2: You gotta throw pain around, You gotta throw a duster around.

518
00:25:55,759 --> 00:25:57,759
So you get a big jacket. You just try to

519
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,359
put it on style around you and then you can

520
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,559
see the invisible Man. But as you could imagine, that's

521
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,160
very difficult.

522
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: Don't you think if you're gonna talk about your your childhood,

523
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,759
at some point you might want to mention where the

524
00:26:11,799 --> 00:26:12,480
other parent was.

525
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,839
Speaker 2: Well, who knows, it's everyone's pain and it's their Pandora's

526
00:26:15,839 --> 00:26:18,640
box to kip cup or keep shut. We have to

527
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,000
get to that.

528
00:26:19,039 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 1: I would arguable omitting that detail is an admission.

529
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:29,640
Speaker 2: Right right, right, okay, but not to all because we're

530
00:26:29,759 --> 00:26:31,759
experienced in the ways of sea rats. You know, a

531
00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:34,440
lot of people, first time viewers of the show go, oh,

532
00:26:34,519 --> 00:26:37,640
that's interesting. You don't see a lot of British women

533
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,240
being cappies leaving their child at home. Defend for herself,

534
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,200
that's all they would think. But because we've done this,

535
00:26:46,559 --> 00:26:52,519
we know the dad is burying himself inside the kind

536
00:26:52,519 --> 00:26:55,599
of immature women that dem Ron was talking about, and

537
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:56,160
that's sad.

538
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:01,799
Speaker 1: Hey, Patty, what's your childhood like? Coffinos two? He's a selfish,

539
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,160
self absorbed asshole. Mom worked at a restaurant as a waitress.

540
00:27:05,759 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's a little awkward for a first.

541
00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:14,160
You don't tell that to a stranger, right, okay, Because

542
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,880
if I had just met you and you said that

543
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,160
about your family, I'd be like Jesus Christ, somebody get

544
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,079
this guy.

545
00:27:20,799 --> 00:27:22,599
Speaker 1: With three pinos in cotail.

546
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, forget a Leachi martini. My god. All right,

547
00:27:25,279 --> 00:27:26,200
let's get to dinner.

548
00:27:26,319 --> 00:27:31,279
Speaker 1: It is a I would never touch this pig me neither.

549
00:27:32,839 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: Dinner is going to be a what do you call

550
00:27:38,039 --> 00:27:41,680
the people what do you call the people in Barcelona?

551
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:49,359
What do you call them? No, they're not Spaniards, They're

552
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:56,240
what are they called? K Yeah, they call themselves something else.

553
00:27:56,319 --> 00:28:02,039
Speaker 3: Well, he's looking Castellano or something. Catalans, Catalonian, Catalonian. It's

554
00:28:02,039 --> 00:28:06,640
a Catalonian calein thank you. It is a Catalonian feast. Okay,

555
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:12,160
we've got all the hits. We've got croquets, one of

556
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,200
my favorite things. Who doesn't love a croquette?

557
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 1: I love croquettes.

558
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:21,799
Speaker 2: You'd love a croquette. We've got petatis bravos. We've got

559
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:30,440
pan cun tom, We've got puss. Yeah, and we've got

560
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,079
this tiny little pig that raised his hand and said

561
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,079
I don't I actually don't want to go, and the

562
00:28:37,079 --> 00:28:39,200
pig slaughter was like, oh sorry, I didn't see that

563
00:28:39,519 --> 00:28:42,079
killed them anyways, So.

564
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,319
Speaker 1: Sad, I want to say this about that little pig, honderpots.

565
00:28:44,319 --> 00:28:46,559
Speaker 2: It's a perfect dinner you put that pig, except for

566
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,400
the how sad it is zero pots.

567
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: Most people don't like to see the head, and that's

568
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,240
a major turnoff for food. We don't like to see

569
00:28:52,279 --> 00:28:54,720
the eyes in the head connected to the food that

570
00:28:54,759 --> 00:28:57,000
we eat. We like to be disconnected from that. Here's

571
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,720
the idea. You want to ever want to turn all

572
00:28:59,799 --> 00:29:02,359
of America in the vegetarians and under a year serve

573
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,039
Big Max with eyeballs.

574
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,279
Speaker 2: What are you talking about, I don't know.

575
00:29:07,359 --> 00:29:10,839
Speaker 1: Take an eyeball from the fucking cow or something, somehow

576
00:29:10,839 --> 00:29:12,799
get it in the burger meat.

577
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 2: A lot more burgers you can get out of a

578
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:19,119
cow than an eyeball you can get. Probably, call now,

579
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:19,920
how many burgers.

580
00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:22,319
Speaker 1: Open up your burger and there's a fucking eyeball there.

581
00:29:22,319 --> 00:29:23,960
You'd never eat a hamburger again.

582
00:29:23,839 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 2: Right right right? You know, it's so funny. I was

583
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:32,680
watching a documentary on the the Pangolin. It was a

584
00:29:32,759 --> 00:29:40,440
dual narrative, a pangolin and a lab no lionhaired monkey,

585
00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:45,519
and you know, these linehaired monkeys are in the canopies,

586
00:29:45,519 --> 00:29:47,519
they're trying to find food. They've got these little babies

587
00:29:47,559 --> 00:29:51,279
on their back, and it's this heartwarming tale that stretches

588
00:29:51,319 --> 00:29:54,400
an hour, and you're very invested. And as they go along,

589
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:56,880
you know, they find frogs and stuff, and it's just

590
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,640
it's so sad, Like the commas. In between the steps

591
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,880
of their journey, are them ripping the heads off of

592
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,720
frogs with their with their teeth. You know, it's like

593
00:30:06,799 --> 00:30:09,720
some nature's like too. There's too much death out there.

594
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 1: That documentarians say about nature.

595
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: Uh, A good nature documentarian has nothing to say about nature.

596
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,359
He or she simply documents.

597
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: Right, don't I'm part of the story.

598
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 2: No, no, no, right. And I'd be a bad documentarian because,

599
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,559
like you know, if there's an antelope getting ripped apart

600
00:30:32,599 --> 00:30:34,359
by a couple of lines, I'd get in there and go, hey,

601
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,400
you gotta knock this out. You're you're eating him by

602
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,079
his legs.

603
00:30:38,359 --> 00:30:39,759
Speaker 1: And he's still alive, and he's.

604
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,799
Speaker 2: Still alive, and he's wailing. Do you not hear that? Jesus?

605
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:49,079
All right? So the sea rats they smell the sweat

606
00:30:49,119 --> 00:30:53,160
of the guests on their sheets, and Josh almost breaks

607
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,599
his tailbone doing tricks to hit on Jizzy. And to Josh,

608
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:57,880
I would say, I don't know if this is in

609
00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:58,400
your book.

610
00:30:58,519 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, are we a dinner with the sea rats?

611
00:31:00,799 --> 00:31:01,519
Speaker 2: We passed dinner?

612
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,759
Speaker 1: Oh I know. But after dinner it didn't that doctor Rossa.

613
00:31:04,799 --> 00:31:06,480
Didn't he try and get Kathy in the hot tub

614
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:06,799
and all that.

615
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,279
Speaker 2: Well, it will get there. But first Josh is doing

616
00:31:10,319 --> 00:31:13,039
cool little swing park or tricks on the cabinet tree

617
00:31:13,519 --> 00:31:14,920
and he falls and hurts himself.

618
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,039
Speaker 1: Saw that that was in the trailer for the season.

619
00:31:17,079 --> 00:31:19,160
By the way, was it that was really funny?

620
00:31:19,319 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 2: Okay? Now in Cracking the Code, is there any commentary

621
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,960
in parkour or cool tricks to impress the lady?

622
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: Maybe on a skateboard?

623
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:39,279
Speaker 2: Skateboard? Huh? Okay, Yeah, this didn't work. No, no, but listen,

624
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,279
who knows by the end of the season we could

625
00:31:42,279 --> 00:31:44,799
have love between these two. Now the guests are really

626
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,440
ripping it up. Amron's trying to fuck his friend's wife

627
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:51,480
and they they pulled their pants off and they put

628
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,960
their raw butts on the jacuzzie, and Kathy's like, I

629
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,640
gotta get out of here. This is disgusting. I can

630
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,680
smell it from underneath the water. And we move on

631
00:32:01,759 --> 00:32:06,920
to a little sea rat history. The calls her friend

632
00:32:07,519 --> 00:32:12,279
and talks about what was his name, bomb Bon Bond?

633
00:32:12,519 --> 00:32:15,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, Love of All Loves? He died eight months ago.

634
00:32:16,359 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 2: No, I think was it the eighth month anniversary?

635
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,119
Speaker 1: It was the eight month anniversary.

636
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:24,759
Speaker 2: That can't be an anniversary, m you can't have an

637
00:32:24,799 --> 00:32:27,119
eight month anniversary of death. I think it was a year.

638
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: It was eight months.

639
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:29,759
Speaker 2: I don't think it was.

640
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 1: When the year comes up and she's with Joe the Hoe,

641
00:32:33,759 --> 00:32:34,759
how's he gonna take it?

642
00:32:35,279 --> 00:32:40,319
Speaker 2: When she talks about I don't think you're right.

643
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: When she goes to that place where he was mauled

644
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,440
by a bear and she throws a fucking reef in

645
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,960
the water, Uh huh, how's Joe the Hole gonna take it?

646
00:32:48,119 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 2: I think as long as he's gonna have sex that night,

647
00:32:51,079 --> 00:32:54,319
he'll be fine with it. That's Joe the Hoe. You know.

648
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,359
Speaker 1: I told my wife after I die, I don't want

649
00:32:56,359 --> 00:32:59,000
anybody to bang her for at least three years, and

650
00:32:59,519 --> 00:33:01,680
if she she does, I'll come back as a ghost

651
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:06,000
and give them both aids. Okay, haven't figured out the logistics. No,

652
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:07,839
not dead yet when I get there.

653
00:33:08,039 --> 00:33:10,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a problem that you have to solve when

654
00:33:10,319 --> 00:33:12,759
you're on the other side. And to any of our.

655
00:33:12,759 --> 00:33:15,519
Speaker 1: New God, how do I give people aids?

656
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 2: To any of our new lesseners? Sorry? Sorry about tonight.

657
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,359
You know, I tell my wife when I die, I

658
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,720
don't want anybody to bang her for three years, But

659
00:33:27,759 --> 00:33:30,119
when I become a ghost, I'm going to give her aids.

660
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:35,079
It's like, what are we even doing here in this room.

661
00:33:35,279 --> 00:33:37,319
Speaker 1: Hey, do you know what The worst thing that happened

662
00:33:37,359 --> 00:33:41,119
to me? Though, bond cast out on her birthday words

663
00:33:41,119 --> 00:33:42,759
are the wise don't die on your ground.

664
00:33:42,799 --> 00:33:44,079
Speaker 2: I think that's right either.

665
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:48,359
Speaker 1: It is so every time her birthday comes around, she'll

666
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,559
have to think about that.

667
00:33:51,559 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 2: That's like me. My birthday is October eleventh, So every

668
00:33:55,039 --> 00:33:57,640
nine eleven, I go nine to eleven, one month till

669
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:02,599
my birthday. You know, Wow, it's really exciting. I get

670
00:34:02,599 --> 00:34:03,319
really amped up.

671
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.

672
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:09,559
Speaker 2: All right, m Ron wants to piss off the side

673
00:34:09,559 --> 00:34:13,719
of the boat. Cathy's like, no, you can't do that's dangerous.

674
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,960
You fall and die. Now, if I was Kathy, just

675
00:34:16,039 --> 00:34:22,360
let him see what happens. But he's told coaxed. Dare

676
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,000
I say to go downstairs and him and Mike start

677
00:34:25,039 --> 00:34:28,400
ripping it up. They break a glass. They're like, uh,

678
00:34:28,559 --> 00:34:31,480
they're like freaking frat boys young again in this Scooby

679
00:34:31,519 --> 00:34:38,280
Doo hallway downstairs. Now Kathy really really wrangles these two.

680
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's part of their job.

681
00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:43,320
Speaker 3: I guess you drunk to be able to fight back.

682
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,320
Speaker 2: Because if I, if I was a paying guest, I'd

683
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:52,559
be like, hey, clean the glass up and go give

684
00:34:52,599 --> 00:34:55,039
me another fucking drink. I'm not going to bed right now.

685
00:34:55,079 --> 00:34:56,519
What the hell's wrong with you? See? Right?

686
00:34:56,679 --> 00:34:59,519
Speaker 1: Maybe the internal voice in their heads know that they

687
00:34:59,519 --> 00:35:00,519
can still get tossed.

688
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:06,320
Speaker 2: Oh you think, yeah? Maybe? All right? So, uh, next day,

689
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,599
Nathan's not fucking around today, okay, and neither is Kathy.

690
00:35:10,679 --> 00:35:12,760
Kathy leaves a post it note she says, I'm not

691
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,320
getting up it was too tough last nightsh I'd be like,

692
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,760
you're getting up right now? You're getting up right, Neil.

693
00:35:20,519 --> 00:35:23,719
You know I'm so sad. I've been looking for this video,

694
00:35:26,599 --> 00:35:31,400
a New Zealand traffic altercation. It's been scrubbed from the internet.

695
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,039
Speaker 1: What happened?

696
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 2: This guy goes in. He's parked in a spot that

697
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,920
he's not supposed to be park So the guy reaches

698
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,000
in and takes his keys out of the ignition hot

699
00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:44,760
start and the guy goes, I touch my fucking keys.

700
00:35:46,079 --> 00:35:47,599
He goes, I'll touch your keys if I want to.

701
00:35:47,639 --> 00:35:49,920
He goes, no, you won't. You won't touch my fucking shit,

702
00:35:50,039 --> 00:35:54,920
you piece of fucking shit. And the the heading of

703
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,400
the video is he's perfected the art of swearing and

704
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,440
he calls him an f and a cocksucker and an

705
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,800
old piece of shit and it's really great. So anyways,

706
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,719
I can't find that. If anybody wants to help, we.

707
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,159
Speaker 1: Have a lot of listeners from New Zealand.

708
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

709
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: Hey, by the way, I thought those people over there,

710
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,440
the Kiwis, were way more evolved than us. They don't

711
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:18,199
need to indulge in these pathetic, dehumanizing acts of.

712
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,119
Speaker 2: I thought that about the Kiwis as well.

713
00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:24,519
Speaker 1: What's up? I don't know, you know what that was

714
00:36:24,559 --> 00:36:28,119
probably Ai. That's probably some two Americans doing that, you think,

715
00:36:28,199 --> 00:36:30,199
and they dubbed it with Kiwis.

716
00:36:31,159 --> 00:36:34,639
Speaker 2: You're so right, you know you can't trust anything anymore?

717
00:36:37,159 --> 00:36:38,159
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a quick question?

718
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 2: Why did I talk about that? Why did I start

719
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:44,239
talking about that video? Was it something to do with

720
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:51,360
We're never gonna know. So Aisha tell's the guests. Well,

721
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,960
but first we we got to talk about Sandy telling

722
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,880
Nathan you know, it's it's come time you have to

723
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,159
appoint elite deckhand.

724
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that makes a lot of sense.

725
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 2: Why would she do that? Why would you They all

726
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,280
kind of suck, so why would you force him to do.

727
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 1: Someone did that one time and it threw a huge

728
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,599
wrinkle into the whole boat like it created a lot

729
00:37:11,639 --> 00:37:13,079
of drama. There was no need for it.

730
00:37:13,199 --> 00:37:16,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, a wrench, even Wren, that's what I meant, or

731
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:20,320
a wrinkle, A wrench or a wrinkle. What what we're

732
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,440
both trying to say is that there's no need for this.

733
00:37:22,519 --> 00:37:24,719
There's no diamond that's going to be to come from

734
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,480
the pressure that she's putting on Nathan to make this decision,

735
00:37:27,519 --> 00:37:31,000
because Okay, you picked Joe. Max's pissed, that's your best friend.

736
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,679
You picked Max. He's going to drive a tender into

737
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:35,480
the side of the boat. Sandy's gonna go, why'd you

738
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,360
pick him? Can't pick v she's too green. There's nobody

739
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:45,119
to pick here. No diamonds, not one. So Asha tells

740
00:37:45,159 --> 00:37:47,760
the guests heard you were a little drunk last night.

741
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,679
If I'm the primary again, I don't want you sea

742
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,440
rats gossiping about me and then bring it up to

743
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,400
me at dinner or breakfast, just you know, leave it alone.

744
00:37:56,679 --> 00:37:59,639
We get some sea rat history with Max a million.

745
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,079
Speaker 1: This because the romance between him and Kathy are heating up.

746
00:38:03,559 --> 00:38:07,039
He considers her family and he wants a family, but

747
00:38:07,079 --> 00:38:09,239
not like his family because his dad stepped out on

748
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,000
his mom. U, that's about it.

749
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,159
Speaker 2: And where does that land on the I.

750
00:38:14,159 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 3: Bet I bet my cheek.

751
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,079
Speaker 2: Oh well, I bet my cheek.

752
00:38:22,159 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 1: I didn't hear it. But to answer your question, it's

753
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:31,400
a big, old fat zero okay, right, it's a story

754
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:35,199
as old as time. I mean literally, it's one plus

755
00:38:35,199 --> 00:38:38,840
one equals too. It doesn't even register anymore. Right, Oh,

756
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,199
your dad cheering on your mom?

757
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:40,760
Speaker 2: Yeah?

758
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,800
Speaker 1: Wow, Wow, I'm blown away?

759
00:38:45,639 --> 00:38:48,159
Speaker 2: What are you? Unique and gut red chik pain? Okay,

760
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:51,000
So breakfast has served, big puffy things are dropped on

761
00:38:51,039 --> 00:38:53,719
the side of the boat, and one of the guests

762
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,480
ships the bed. It looked like he shit in the bed.

763
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,239
Did you see that? I did. There was a sheet

764
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:06,639
that was just shmeared with brown, viscous humors. It just

765
00:39:06,679 --> 00:39:08,079
looked like somebody shit the bed.

766
00:39:08,119 --> 00:39:11,079
Speaker 1: It was a brownie. They look like they like to

767
00:39:11,079 --> 00:39:11,960
eat dessert at night.

768
00:39:12,119 --> 00:39:16,199
Speaker 2: No, this would have had to have been a Puzuki

769
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:22,440
sized brownie. There was so much stainage. So the docking

770
00:39:22,519 --> 00:39:25,519
needs to go very very well. Nathan's got a lot

771
00:39:25,559 --> 00:39:28,599
of pressure on them, right, and the knots are blowing

772
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:33,519
twenty two nuts. That's like forty two one hundred kilometers

773
00:39:33,599 --> 00:39:37,000
or something when we get into some real boat shit,

774
00:39:37,639 --> 00:39:39,440
because the bow thruster goes out.

775
00:39:39,519 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to address that when we get there.

776
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:42,880
Unless we're there.

777
00:39:42,679 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 2: Where there were.

778
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 1: Okay, this was absolutely man manufactured drama. Sandy says, the

779
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,400
bow thrust overheated. You might want to test that before

780
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,280
you dock, you know, because that's important part of docking.

781
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:57,159
I guess important going to port. Yeah, what are those

782
00:39:57,199 --> 00:39:59,960
three ugly Croatian dudes you call engineers doing all day?

783
00:40:00,199 --> 00:40:01,639
Speaker 2: Well? I was going to say, you know, it's bad

784
00:40:01,639 --> 00:40:06,360
when the the cole shovelers get up there. That's bad.

785
00:40:07,039 --> 00:40:11,760
That's really really bad, all right, Pat, The whole thing

786
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:12,920
goes off without a hitch.

787
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 1: Does it not manufacture drama? Dumb?

788
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 2: You weren't a fan.

789
00:40:19,119 --> 00:40:21,559
Speaker 1: That boat wasn't close to touching either one of those

790
00:40:21,559 --> 00:40:25,679
boats on either side. The cameras have eyes.

791
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 2: The cameras have eyes. Kaitlin's going to be me in fantasy?

792
00:40:29,079 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 1: Is he really? Caylen? Do you mind checking out the

793
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:32,960
pat score?

794
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:34,039
Speaker 2: Yeah?

795
00:40:34,039 --> 00:40:34,519
Speaker 1: Thanks, Bud.

796
00:40:34,519 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 2: It's so crazy. It's like he's horrible. I don't know

797
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,639
why I can't beat him. He's like my kryptonite Oh boy,

798
00:40:42,159 --> 00:40:43,280
he just always beats me.

799
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,519
Speaker 3: He spends a lot of time that it's a twenty

800
00:40:46,559 --> 00:40:49,599
four to seven pats and it's not even halftime yet.

801
00:40:49,639 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 1: Well, all right, that game's over.

802
00:40:51,079 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

803
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,280
Speaker 1: Eleven and two. I think they're gonna have home field

804
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,360
advantage and a bye week.

805
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 2: All right, sorry, that's sports card over.

806
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 1: All, right, Tip meeting the decies still suck, Josh, you're

807
00:41:02,039 --> 00:41:05,519
killing it twenty five K twenty each.

808
00:41:05,679 --> 00:41:08,559
Speaker 2: Well, the guests leave, and don't let that boat hit

809
00:41:08,599 --> 00:41:11,679
you on the way out right, But Joe almost shits

810
00:41:11,679 --> 00:41:15,400
his pants and Max is in love? What is with

811
00:41:15,559 --> 00:41:16,480
these sea rats?

812
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: They're spending a lot of time in close quarters?

813
00:41:22,159 --> 00:41:25,599
Speaker 2: Well, it's so funny. Max goes up to Joe the

814
00:41:25,679 --> 00:41:33,159
Hoe for advice. He says, communicate clearly, Lol, Joe the Hoe,

815
00:41:33,599 --> 00:41:35,719
you're telling a woman that you'd like her to meet

816
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,559
your mother, and then you're gonna make out with a

817
00:41:37,599 --> 00:41:42,280
different sea rat aboard the vessel JOA. That's not communicating

818
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:44,320
very clearly, Joe though, If you ask me.

819
00:41:44,559 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 1: Max scares me though, because he has anger issues and

820
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,239
he's also a psychostalker.

821
00:41:49,079 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 2: I don't know about that.

822
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,079
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Did you hear him have that conversation.

823
00:41:52,159 --> 00:41:54,000
He got mad at her because she wouldn't kiss him

824
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:54,440
at the table.

825
00:41:54,519 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll get there, So Joe is well, we get

826
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,000
ready for the night out. Jizzy is out rageously horny,

827
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,719
and Nathan will not give Kathy any hair squish because

828
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,880
he can't afford to give her any. Okay, Now Joe

829
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,079
is falling in love with Via the Cuban, and this

830
00:42:10,119 --> 00:42:12,679
is a massive step outside of his comfort zone. He

831
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:16,280
has never fucked over a female fee, a female sea

832
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,920
rat before in his life. Now we sit down for

833
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,320
dinner and we find out that Joe sent a picture

834
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:27,559
of v to his mother. What what it means?

835
00:42:27,639 --> 00:42:30,639
Speaker 1: Nothing? Not to Patty. This is just a move from

836
00:42:30,679 --> 00:42:33,519
a player right out of the player's Guide trying to

837
00:42:33,519 --> 00:42:33,960
close some.

838
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,599
Speaker 2: Ass player's guide to the Galaxy Now department heads chat,

839
00:42:38,119 --> 00:42:41,440
Aasha says, he, I hear what you're going through, Nathan.

840
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,599
Being a chief stew the first time is the hardest

841
00:42:44,599 --> 00:42:46,159
thing I've ever had to do in my life. We

842
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:48,880
flashed back and she had to deal with I don't

843
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:52,639
know that that's pizza rat and that bulgarian lunatic or something.

844
00:42:52,679 --> 00:42:54,800
I don't know what she was, but you know, it

845
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:58,320
made me really sad because it's there's this theme with

846
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,119
with below Deck, the people that do the best after

847
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,800
either the majority of them or you know, just riddled

848
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:13,480
with with addiction problems. And there's only fans, sex addiction,

849
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:18,599
sex addiction. I'm not saying only fans, but only fans

850
00:43:18,639 --> 00:43:21,559
is cool. Make a lot of money on only fans,

851
00:43:22,199 --> 00:43:27,519
I say, Ring the rag Dry men want to be

852
00:43:27,599 --> 00:43:32,159
horny pigs. Ring the rag Dry, get that paper, get

853
00:43:32,159 --> 00:43:42,239
the paper bow. But chefs, they seem to have these

854
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:48,159
vibrant careers after below Deck. That serial killer lizard Adam,

855
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,920
he's crushing it on Instagram, pretending like he's in the

856
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:57,199
woods cooking over water powered you know, spit roasts. You know,

857
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:03,679
the flesh is long, it's human flesh, but nobody's you know,

858
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:08,920
the wiser. And then Pizza Rah has some bustling Florida.

859
00:44:09,079 --> 00:44:10,480
It's you know, what's what?

860
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,679
Speaker 1: The broken pigeon, he was un chopped.

861
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 2: The broken pigeon. Who is that mac Oh, the guy

862
00:44:18,039 --> 00:44:19,000
who's in there.

863
00:44:19,199 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, who begged us to stop talking about and basically

864
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:22,400
told me to go fuck myself.

865
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:26,559
Speaker 2: Okay, So Kathy and Max sit down for another boyfriend

866
00:44:26,639 --> 00:44:28,800
girlfriend talk between the sea rat.

867
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,679
Speaker 1: Sorry excuse me for coughee. She turned down a kiss

868
00:44:31,679 --> 00:44:33,719
from him, and then he said we need to talk,

869
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,360
right he prompted that car right, right right, and then

870
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,119
she's kind of blown away at how weird and awkward

871
00:44:39,199 --> 00:44:39,440
this is.

872
00:44:39,559 --> 00:44:42,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm Kathy did so great here. She was like,

873
00:44:42,119 --> 00:44:45,519
you know, I really try my best to not have

874
00:44:45,559 --> 00:44:49,000
these kinds of conversations, and because they're weird and uncomfortable,

875
00:44:49,039 --> 00:44:52,320
and You're weird and uncomfortable, and I'm not really feeling well.

876
00:44:52,519 --> 00:44:54,400
So I'm gonna go back to the boat and Max

877
00:44:54,440 --> 00:45:01,679
says I'll follow. Yeah, run, Kathy, Nathan and Jizz hit

878
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:06,280
the club. It's called Space the fuck out, I think,

879
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:10,480
and Nathan says that he has put up a barrier

880
00:45:10,599 --> 00:45:14,559
between him and other women's and scale what's it made of?

881
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:20,119
Angel food cake? Yeah, it's made of nothing.

882
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,039
Speaker 1: They are feeling each other out here, by the way,

883
00:45:23,199 --> 00:45:26,119
that's what this little thing is happening. The Sea Rat's

884
00:45:26,119 --> 00:45:28,119
tear it up at that club, man, Yeah, they really do.

885
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:33,079
Speaker 2: Kissy is talking to Nathan about being pissed off and

886
00:45:33,199 --> 00:45:36,639
wanting to slit Kathy's throat, and Kathy comes over and goes, hey,

887
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:38,679
I've heard you say you want to slip my throat.

888
00:45:38,679 --> 00:45:41,199
I just want to, you know, air out the dirty laundry.

889
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,320
And they move on. So Kizzie and Nathan hook up,

890
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,960
and we cut to Josh the clown, and he leans

891
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,760
in and he says, I see you. It's elongated and

892
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:56,800
a kind of creepy false satto and I don't know,

893
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,400
you know, producers of Below Deck, it's a little bit

894
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,639
like if we can get back to the McDonald's burger.

895
00:46:03,159 --> 00:46:06,320
This show is a little bit like making a big mac. Right,

896
00:46:07,039 --> 00:46:10,880
you shove your finger up your ass, you grab the lettuce,

897
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:12,960
you put it on the bond, and then you finish

898
00:46:13,079 --> 00:46:17,280
the rest. Okay, everybody knows how to do this. This

899
00:46:17,519 --> 00:46:22,239
is kind of a misstep that they make every once

900
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:28,800
in a while, the nerdy, esoteric, corny person.

901
00:46:29,159 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: To be fair, Josh sat in that chair for four

902
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:35,800
hours on a Friday, and at some point a producer said, yeah,

903
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,480
do the makeup thing, and then they filmed him acting

904
00:46:38,559 --> 00:46:40,519
like an idiot for an hour and they use way

905
00:46:40,559 --> 00:46:41,559
more footage than they should.

906
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:47,119
Speaker 2: That producer's wife was texting him, I'm taking fucking everything. Yeah,

907
00:46:47,199 --> 00:46:48,559
go ahead, just do the clown.

908
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 1: Now, this is when we get to Joe the Hope,

909
00:46:52,039 --> 00:46:55,199
he invites v to his hometown after knowing her for

910
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,800
three weeks, and then he tells her he's all in

911
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:02,840
the way, all all in, all in, Hello, Captain love Barmber.

912
00:47:03,079 --> 00:47:07,519
You're a twisted, emotionally manipulative asshole. I know it because

913
00:47:07,559 --> 00:47:08,559
it takes one to know what.

914
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's big of you.

915
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 1: Thank you retired. Never as bad as him, by the way, really,

916
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,599
I never promised stuff like that.

917
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:22,280
Speaker 2: Not even to Levin is Lana.

918
00:47:22,519 --> 00:47:25,039
Speaker 1: No no. I lived with her for.

919
00:47:25,159 --> 00:47:26,639
Speaker 2: Two years, not even to the dude.

920
00:47:26,679 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: Well I didn't live with her. I slept at her

921
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,280
place for tears. I lived with her for no, no, no.

922
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:35,800
What my crime was? My friends that were girls told

923
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,400
me what I would do is I'd meet a girl,

924
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,280
hang out with her a couple times, and I go, hey,

925
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,719
let's go do this winery, and then we go do

926
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,880
a winery, and then we'd hook up, and then I'd

927
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,079
get bored and they'd go, you can't take her to

928
00:47:46,119 --> 00:47:50,679
a winery because she's gonna think you really like her.

929
00:47:51,119 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 2: What? Who were your friends? What do you mean that?

930
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:57,480
Who said that?

931
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,760
Speaker 1: Some of my friends that were girls and stuff. They go.

932
00:48:00,639 --> 00:48:02,360
The girl's gonna think you really like it if you

933
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:03,960
take her to a nice place. I didn't know that.

934
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah it might. Yeah I can see I could

935
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,679
see that. Yeah, you gotta you gotta take them to

936
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:14,599
like a die bar right right right. If you want

937
00:48:14,599 --> 00:48:18,960
to get really fancy, you go bowling, just put up

938
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:24,280
that barrier. Let's play darts, right all right. So don't

939
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:26,119
talk about this stuff when you've been drinking, Joe, that

940
00:48:26,119 --> 00:48:28,639
how you're gonna look ridiculous. Now we head back home.

941
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,519
Gratuitous makeout riding cowboy sessions are taking place in the

942
00:48:32,519 --> 00:48:35,519
front of the van while the clown and Kermit watch

943
00:48:35,639 --> 00:48:42,400
along and Kathy and Max talk about their signs whether

944
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:53,920
air intertwines with erse erse. But Asha walks in on

945
00:48:54,079 --> 00:48:59,199
Nathan and Kissy. Now, your whole thing about him doing

946
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:05,360
the Kenney Powers thing is is interesting. But the only

947
00:49:06,039 --> 00:49:10,679
if I could have an Elwood's moment here. The lights

948
00:49:10,679 --> 00:49:14,440
were on the entire time, Oh they were. The reason

949
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,760
I know the lights were on the entire time is

950
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:20,920
because there's a little saying, a little thing that Nathan

951
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,840
said while they were getting all hot and bothered. He said,

952
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:27,320
leave the lights on. I want to leave the lights on.

953
00:49:28,559 --> 00:49:33,039
That is a line that means I want to see everything. Ah. Yes,

954
00:49:33,519 --> 00:49:37,119
So I think what what got him out was another

955
00:49:37,159 --> 00:49:41,800
department had coming into her room. And good for him.

956
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:47,039
But this conversation he has about not being fulfilled by

957
00:49:47,079 --> 00:49:50,639
this and that's why he left, that is hogwash.

958
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:51,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.

959
00:49:52,039 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

960
00:49:53,039 --> 00:49:56,599
Speaker 1: And lastly, Max is feeling that Kathy is not matching

961
00:49:56,639 --> 00:49:57,800
his emotions.

962
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 2: Uh huh.

963
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:00,760
Speaker 1: They'll be done after this episode, which will set up

964
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:01,320
the Joe the.

965
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 2: Whole right exactly. And we end with the telling Joe

966
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,800
the Hoe that in eight days Bond died eight months ago.

967
00:50:10,559 --> 00:50:12,719
All right, get in the comments, let us know. Uh

968
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,280
do you know that New Zealand video I was talking about?

969
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:17,559
Have you seen Jeff and.

970
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 1: Can Ghost give people aids?

971
00:50:19,599 --> 00:50:22,679
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. We love you. I'm Dylan. Say goodbye, Pat,

972
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:49,719
Say goodbye.