Speaker 1: In the year two thousand seven fourteen, a new squad
of Opera Davis was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: Falzoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag and.
Speaker 4: Jesse Wicks as Bill Crilliance.
Speaker 3: Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 3: All right, okay, when last we left our heroes exactly,
you had just left the city. You had visited the library,
saw the cursed items, taken what you'd pleased. You did
some research and found out about and you found out
about Lieutenant Keilo, some interesting stuff about him and his
yes or did he dun dum dumb. Then you found
a boat and your guide and you went across the water.
You got to elk Celts, which was a bubbly prison
surrounded by bubbles, and then you made it into the prison.
He did some some weirdness to get you in, some
abjure stuff to get you in, and you, guys got in.
The door opened, you went in, it closed behind you,
and that's where we left off. So you are in
a room. It's a hallway that's about twenty feet long.
It's about about six or seven feet wide, also about
seven feet tall, so it's a kind of a small
corridor that leads you to the that leads you, like
I said, about twenty feet down the path. There is
a mage light hanging from the ceiling and rock.
Speaker 5: Is a panda. Just fyi, am I still a pandam
you're a panda?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 5: In the jellyfish we heard from him too.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah, the jellyfish is always there because yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but yeah you are a panda bear.
Speaker 3: Great, yeah, so you're a panda, all right. And at
the end of the hallway you can see the door
with this mage light, you know, it's just one light
above giving like a nimbus blue aura to the corridor.
And at the end of the hall you see a
large metal door with one of those wheel locks that
you can turn to kind of like on a submarine
that you can turn to unlock the door and go through.
But that's what you see at the end of the hallway.
Speaker 2: I do just want to I might be misremember it didn't.
Didn't Bill get cursed with a fork of crustiness.
Speaker 4: No, I got the hat of dampness.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's perpetually raining on him. It's oh yeah, like misting. Yeah,
kind of.
Speaker 6: That's always damp. Yeah, kind of like he's perpetually moist.
Speaker 2: I would have took that one included like muted trumpets.
Speaker 3: Trombone. Now, I'm like's gonna have to find a clip.
Speaker 6: Yeah, then I'll have have a use for all those
squishy footprints ahead.
Speaker 3: I already did that bit once.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 6: Which is which reminds me that's what I tho.
Speaker 3: That's why I have a folder full of wet carpet.
Speaker 2: Like.
Speaker 4: We ever do a bit only once.
Speaker 2: This twenty foot corridor there and roughly square and dimensions.
Speaker 4: There are forty seven episodes. I could have named something
about put it in your mouth.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you didn't.
Speaker 2: I mean, how many times has gurgle been an option?
Speaker 6: Yeah? Right?
Speaker 4: This is the last one and the one before.
Speaker 2: It's never going to be a last one.
Speaker 6: I know, previous one, the previously on.
Speaker 2: So are there holes in the ceiling walls?
Speaker 3: U No, no, there's not like murder holes or any les.
Speaker 2: In the windows. Nothing. Sorry. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm
gonna walk on up and uh grab onto that big
vault and give it a spin.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you go up, you give it a spin,
spins to the left. It goes, you know, quite a
way a while, only it's got to.
Speaker 2: Go all the way around once and then come on,
come on, double zero.
Speaker 3: But I'm done.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, that's rocket Barker.
Speaker 3: So yeah, you get the door. It clicks open, and
the vault opens toward you, the giant door does. Just
as it opens, you see an armed guard that is
standing on the other side and he's looking at you,
and he's got a lantern in one hand and a
short sword she that has belt on the other side,
put his hands on the hilt, and he's looking at
you and he's like, is this a prisoner transfer.
Speaker 2: We're dresses of ookres, aren't we, with the exception of me,
with the exception of you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we were doing the Yeah, we're doing the wookie.
Speaker 3: Okay, evokers are abjurers.
Speaker 2: I think we're addressed as a vokers to sneak through
the city, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because we walked through the evoker guards.
Speaker 2: But the abjurors are the ones who are in the prison, aren't.
Speaker 3: They The abjurs maintained the prison.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but the illusionists the one third the afitors
open it too. Yeah, so the guards probably worked for
the abiturs. Hey Bill, find Bill? Yeah, you still got
your best vest underneath your uh evocre uniform, don't you?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 2: And it's still got an abjur uniform, doesn't it it does? Okay, Yeah,
it's a prisoner transfer. We had to sneak through the
city to get him here.
Speaker 3: Are you switching to abdur outfits real quick?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, so you're a vokers there, We're still a vokers.
Speaker 5: No, it is that. The last my note says Bill
was dressed as an abjurer.
Speaker 2: Okay, so Bill is dressed an adjurors. Okay, perfect.
Speaker 4: We changed ready to come here, hadn't we?
Speaker 3: I thought you did in the in the boat, I thought.
Speaker 4: I think we brought a change of clothes. We dressed
as a adjurist. Get in here.
Speaker 2: Okay, so okay, so yeah, yeah, we're uh, it's a
prisoner transfer. Who's the prisoner this panda?
Speaker 3: Is he a warlock? Just a weird panda he talks.
Look at his mouth, those lips.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because we reported.
Speaker 3: I saw a warlock that could do this with the lips.
He is called quiz nos.
Speaker 2: Yeah that sounds about right.
Speaker 6: Uh quiz nose sounds.
Speaker 2: Like he knows. And so we're gonna take him on.
And he's, uh, we got to get our panda shackles back,
you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, well, uh, I'll go ahead and get
you guys in. Follow me, and he takes you through
up down the hallway, through a couple more doors, right,
some security doors that you can see as he's walking
you through. He takes you into this small room. Put
the prisoner up there, and uh, we've got to make
sure he doesn't have any weapons or anything on him
before we give him a number.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, is he the only guard in here?
Speaker 3: He's the only guard you've seen you?
Speaker 6: Does you have keys on him?
Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, you've seen him use keys to open some doors.
Just so yeah, there's a spot for you to take
take a position. And he's like, no, just spread your
legs and so.
Speaker 6: I'm still a panda. And as he's check it through
the fur, I'm doing like the puppy thing where you
try to bite at his hand, and.
Speaker 3: So stop that. Mark's luckily we prepared for this sort
of thing. It's not the first bandit we've had.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 3: He grabs some bamboo out of a little drawer, puts
it in your mouth. We eat this.
Speaker 6: Put it in your mouth, critic gurgle, Sit back on
a panda rump and just eat it like a.
Speaker 3: All right, it looks good. Do you have a prisoner
transfer slip? Someone says his crimes, how dangerous he is?
Speaker 2: It is? Look at his mouth.
Speaker 3: It's a creepy mouth for sure. All right? Should I
put him in like a super dangerous cell or yeah?
Speaker 2: Those lowest ones, right.
Speaker 3: They're pretty low.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's probably best I've heard. It's always safe at
to keep pandas as far underground as you can.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, because of the bamboo. Yeah, we'll put him
down on the first floor with all of the ultra
high level criminals. We're gonna have to talk to the
warden first, though. Follow me. Anytime we have a prisoner,
that's gotta go down to the first floor. We got
to run it by the warden, so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense to me. We probably gotta get
you probably got to get the keys from him or
whatever too and everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, you got it.
Speaker 2: You got it. So you probably don't go that far.
Speaker 3: No, they don't. You're right. Yeah, this way though, I'll
show you. Are you guys hungry? Did you was it tripping?
All right?
Speaker 6: Just kind of lifted by a boom?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're good, you're good.
Speaker 5: We have a basket of apples. Did we take the
basket of apples?
Speaker 2: Yes? We did.
Speaker 5: You want an apple?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 2: Oh? Fun?
Speaker 4: Are the apples?
Speaker 2: We got five of them? Special cursed?
Speaker 3: Yeah you don't know that.
Speaker 2: Oh we know they're cursed.
Speaker 5: Guy was wearing a plague mask.
Speaker 6: Oh that guy?
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, right before we go Oh yeah, oh yeah,
that's what they do.
Speaker 2: That's right. There's one, two, three, four of us.
Speaker 4: Are they adolescence?
Speaker 3: You have your you had your guide with you? Yeah,
Percy with us. That's why there was five. He takes
you down three flights of stairs and to a level
called the fifth level, and so you can see that's
what it says.
Speaker 4: Down three flights of stairs, to get the fifth level.
Speaker 3: Well it goes down to one, so you were on
the eighth level minus three equals five. Weird, And then
you'll go all the way down to the first level.
But you're trying to get into what you think is
the basement.
Speaker 4: Thought maybe there's like an unlucky four or something.
Speaker 3: No, yeah, the first floor is the bottom level and
that's where all the dangerous criminals are and that's where
you just said to put the panda.
Speaker 2: So yeah, because we know that the scrolls like on
the bottom bottom level.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, sure, how to get there though? So he
takes you to this office and says, all right, well
just just a second, let me let him know that
you're here, all right, you know, just kind of let
him be prepared.
Speaker 7: So one second, wait right here, plants in his office.
There are plastic plants, and I start chewing on some
of them. Okay, So he knocks on the door and
he goes into the office, and you hear some muted
voices behind the door, just chatting.
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna turn to Ourek again. I remind you
don't you don't have to eat. It's fun, Okay.
Speaker 2: I think we should uh mostly come clean with the
warden here. Let him know what we're actually here for.
He knows that only an Abur can get us in here.
Speaker 6: Have we seen any trace of the Evokers?
Speaker 3: No, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea.
Speaker 2: Then maybe just just give him send his guard back
so that you.
Speaker 3: Know, send his guard back and just have a power.
Speaker 6: With us in the warden.
Speaker 4: Ye will imply that maybe the evokers are on their
way here, and so we should remove the scroll before
before this place is compromised. We won't lie to him,
but the.
Speaker 2: Implication, yeah, it's the implication.
Speaker 4: That seems like a good idea. Probably.
Speaker 3: All right, there's the plan then, So a few seconds later,
the guard opens the door back up and says, all right,
you can come on in. I'm sorry I didn't get
your name, but we'll introduce you when we get in there,
and takes you into the room. There's you see, there's
two chairs in front of a desk. There's and there's
a desk and a man staying behind the desk. The
man is a kind of taller, thin man with dark hair.
The guard says, this is the warden. His name is Eutonium,
and uh, he'll be able to get you all squared
away with the first floor panda. You stay out here
with me. You don't need to be in there.
Speaker 2: Actually, he kind of does. We need to talk to
the warden.
Speaker 3: About the panda with the panda.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he's got to demonstrate and you know, you know,
you got to see it to believe it.
Speaker 6: I just walked by the guard with a big grin
with Mike Quizno's lips.
Speaker 3: Okay, I mean you don't want us to leave people,
and the Eutonium says Bridget, it's fine, you're good, welcome, welcome,
Come on, name is Bridget?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, uh yeah, Warden Utonium. Yes, So we'll pile
in him and pull the door shut. This isn't a
prisoner transfer. That pan is my friend. Who are aging?
Speaker 3: I oh, well, that's shocking to hear.
Speaker 2: Yeah. We were brought here by high abjurer Percy.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm well aware of Percy. He and I go
way back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Percy's the one who got us, you know, through
the outside there got us in sure because we've been
tasked with recovering the infinite scroll of abduration.
Speaker 3: Oh my, yes, and so they sent you to prison,
do you not know? No, I'm not aware.
Speaker 2: How do we get to the basement of the prison.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's through the sub level. I mean through the
go downstairs, through the first floor, and then there's a
basement access down there. Okay, through the kitchen area we
need to get there. Well, you can definitely only go
down there, for sure. It might be a little difficult
getting through the prisoners areas down there.
Speaker 2: But okay, now, the prisoners not locked up.
Speaker 3: We've found that if we allow them to have open,
free reign and converse amongst themselves and have their own
little town. So you say, they're a lot easier to control.
There's a reward system down there, and for good behavior
and tolerance of each other. It's a booming economy if
you if you would believe it or not. And with
as much magic as there is down there, it's easier
to contain them in a big room than it is
an individual cells.
Speaker 2: Would those prisoners have access to that sub level?
Speaker 3: No, of course not, are you positive?
Speaker 2: Yes, Well, there's so much magic down there.
Speaker 3: Well, the magic is contained. We have warlocks down there.
Almost the entirety of the first floor is either controlled
by warlocks or those who serve warlocks. Well, that's what
the kids, I thought you knew Percy.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 4: Are you implying Percy's a warlock?
Speaker 3: No, don't be so.
Speaker 2: All right, So you're making it sound like it might
be kind of dangerous to go down there.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm sure if you take precautions as you go
down there, it's no big deal. But we do have
an anti magic shell down there. So I'm assuming Percy
made you aware of this.
Speaker 2: Not that I recall.
Speaker 4: We'd been drinking a lot.
Speaker 2: No, there's a lot of tension in the city with
the evokers right now, you know.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Oh well, Uh, the reason we've been tasked with procuring
the Infinite Scroll of Abduration is because the Evocation Nation
has attacked and have taken the city. Us getting here
and the whole ruse with the Panda and like these
Evocation uniforms in the in the backpacks here are because
we had to use subterfuge just to get through the city.
I see, Yeah, it's it's rough out there.
Speaker 3: Huh. Well, are you abjurors then.
Speaker 2: We're allies.
Speaker 3: Interesting, I'm just a druid. He's a druid, okay. Well,
if the infinite page of Abduration is here. I wouldn't
know about it because I'm not an abjurer. They don't
allow abjurs to work in the prison. Abjurors only let
people in and out of the prison.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you guys seem rather isolated here.
Speaker 3: That's kind of the point.
Speaker 4: Does Does anybody ever come in and go to the
sub level? Not that I'm aware of, you've you've never
seen it accessed? No, and I've been the warden here
for twenty five years.
Speaker 2: H Well, you're gonna see it tonight.
Speaker 4: They'll never need to use their page.
Speaker 2: Weird.
Speaker 3: So we're going to continue this ruse then with the panda.
I'm sorry, what were your names? Nice panda?
Speaker 2: The panda? Yep, I'm Eddie Eddie.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm Bill.
Speaker 3: Bill Adira and a Dera. It's nice to meet you.
If we're going to continue this ruse, and I do
think it is not a bad ruse, you may want
to consider finding a way to peacefully navigate your way
to the kitchen there. Once you're in the kitchen, you
can look for the access hatch to the basement.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, what about kitchen uniforms?
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretare we're going to cook the panda?
Speaker 3: There are no employees down there, with the exception of
one or two prison guards. I think right now this
week's prison guards for that floor. Let me look at
my records. Oh yes, it's a Princess more Bucks and
Fuzzy Lumpkins. Those are the two guards that are on
duty this week. So the kitchen workers that are down there, well,
those are going to be the actual prisoners themselves. Like
I said, we have built their own little community just
for them on the first floor.
Speaker 6: Do they wear uniforms?
Speaker 3: No, they just dress well. I mean they have prison uniforms,
which you will be receiving one before you go down there.
It's a blue prison uniform that lets everyone know you
ought to be on the first floor.
Speaker 2: Should we so?
Speaker 4: Do the guards often move through the first floor then
or you just mostly even to yourself, he said.
Speaker 8: The guards frequently will work out side of the first floor,
so they're on the first floor, but they don't go
into the containment area.
Speaker 3: They have an office area that is sealed off from
the rest where the prisoners can make requests or speak
with the guards in case they need things. We give
them ingredients things like that through this secured room with
these guards. With that said, they don't go in and
engage with the general populace down there.
Speaker 4: Okay, So, but the entrance to the sub level that's
in the general population part, not the well.
Speaker 3: The entrance to the basement is yes, it goes through
the kitchen.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 4: So that's why I was just curious if we would
want to go and dress any of us as guards,
or if we would all want to be dressed in
the blue prisoner uniform to get there without raising suspicions.
I guess it.
Speaker 2: Seems like the easiest way to blend in.
Speaker 6: I could just pretend to be someone familiar until the
situation calls for otherwise.
Speaker 3: If you would take a suggestion like I said, there
are not gangs so much as groups down there, and
many of them are centered around the warlock that they
were in cahoots with when they came here. So there
are warlocks down there, and several of them have their
closest allies that when the warlock was arrested and imprisoned,
their allies, their closest peers were brought with them. It
was a humane way we see of detaining the warlocks
without killing them. We don't want another packed hunt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, so I think maybe we should pose as
a warlock and as coterie.
Speaker 3: If you'reamiliar with subterfuge, as you stated, it wouldn't be
a bad idea.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've heard stories about it, but I'll see
what we can do.
Speaker 4: Hey, uh you could we could even pose it. I
don't know, like that heaven guy, Well, that would be
a name that maybe they've heard before. Might make it easier, go.
Speaker 2: Off he yeah, yeah, the Heaven's space.
Speaker 4: What was his group's name?
Speaker 5: Do you remember?
Speaker 2: I don't know if they had a name.
Speaker 4: Well, I just meant like his familiars. I don't remember
their names, but it might have him actually stars something
star or something. Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 2: So magic doesn't work down there though, that's correct here.
Speaker 3: Positive, I'm pretty so otherwise the warlocks would have escaped.
I would imagine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems likely.
Speaker 4: Okay, I got the name, all right.
Speaker 2: Let's uh, let's deal with then.
Speaker 3: So will you be needing one blue uniform or four?
Speaker 2: Four?
Speaker 4: The three?
Speaker 2: I can just three?
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not best best my way into a
blue uniform.
Speaker 2: Your best best was stuck?
Speaker 4: What's up?
Speaker 2: Your best best was stuck? It's stuck today.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: He switched it once.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a bad role, that's right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I'll take a blue uniform. I'll just put
it on over that way, I can just take it
off when it's time to leave. There's a way to
conceal it.
Speaker 3: Well enough, yeah, okay, Well I'll get you four. So
he opens the profiling cabinet that says first floor on it,
and he pulls out four packages, which has little blue shoes,
blue pants, and a blue shirt.
Speaker 2: All right, I would tear the sleeves off the shirt
and then put it out or we're not.
Speaker 6: Around like a kerchief.
Speaker 4: Okay, do you have anything in like I don't know,
a human fabric.
Speaker 3: Or it's made of human.
Speaker 4: No, no, like.
Speaker 3: Like suitable for humans. Maybe you belong on the first floor.
Speaker 4: Maybe I do.
Speaker 3: I had enough of this, all right. Well, now that
you're all dressed in your own way, I'm still I'm
still just getting raped, all right. So so Eddie rips
the sleeves off. Bill's shirt is getting wet from the misty.
Uh ohag wrapped it around his neck like a kerchief,
and a deer.
Speaker 5: Singed half of it to make it look like the
rest of my outfits.
Speaker 3: Just around the mid on the mid section, and the
pant legs.
Speaker 4: Think like the stupid hat fall off.
Speaker 3: Well shall we.
Speaker 5: Got we should stop for selfie, the prison selfie. We
need photo i DS taken.
Speaker 6: So they're gonna let us back out when we come
this way, right.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I'll introduce you to the princess and to
fuzzy Lumpkins. Before you go in.
Speaker 6: You should give them a safe word.
Speaker 3: What would you like the safe word to be?
Speaker 5: Pineapple?
Speaker 2: Smineapple?
Speaker 3: Pineapple shmineapple. Okay, someone write that down.
Speaker 4: Stop but.
Speaker 3: Wonderful.
Speaker 4: That hurts.
Speaker 3: Now, abdure, allies, follow me this way. We've got four
flights of stairs to go down, because five minus four
equals one.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna wait until we're like two flights down and
he's comfortable, and then I'm gonna stick my foot in
front of us.
Speaker 3: Our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there, it's
Nico again. If you'd like to skip the ads next time,
as well as support our show, you should check out
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quest dot com. And now that the commercials are out
of the way, it's time to dive back into the foolishness.
So as he's walking, he's like, I should probably tell
you about the three big gangs down there, I mean
groups down.
Speaker 5: There Pineapple, Schnineapple.
Speaker 3: The first group is the Rowdy Rough Boys that is
led by their leader, a guy named Rowdy. He's a warlock.
They're the ones who are most likely to instigate something
with you when you first arrive. Now, as you said,
you want to go into the kitchen. If you should
go to the kitchen, that is the Gang Green Gang's territory,
Gang Green, and that's led by mister Green.
Speaker 5: And now they are Is he a jolly green giant.
Speaker 3: Oh no, he's a short green goblin. But he's a cook.
And that's what you said you needed go and get
to correct. Yeah, the sub level, is he a warlock
cook Green? Is yes. And finally there are the three
big Dogs. These are three warlocks that have partnered up.
They were actually partnered up on the outside and brought here.
They go by well, their names, I should say, are Maurice,
Joseph and Joseph Junior, Joseph's son they go by mo
Joe and Jojo for short.
Speaker 4: Felt to come.
Speaker 6: Somebody's been watching too many power Puffy.
Speaker 4: You start saying names, and I was like, I was
expecting this to be Mojo Jojo? Who is this? And
then it was I'm.
Speaker 6: Just stupid Fuzzy Lumpkin wasn't a clue.
Speaker 3: And we are here. He opens up another big spinny
wheel door to go onto the first floor and says,
please follow me, and he goes in and you see
a short woman, big frizzy hair. She's got a little
tr on her head, but she's wearing, you know, a
guard outfit. And she's sitting there shuffling a deck of
cards and she's like, who is this in my Is
this a new person who's here? Oh, Borton, it's you.
Oh well, but you.
Speaker 2: Look at that and he's like, hey, Princess.
Speaker 3: Princess more bucks. These are our friends. We are going
to be transferring them in, but they are actually undercover agents.
Speaker 2: So you just wake at her.
Speaker 3: There is a secret code when they need to get
out that we will extract them when they use it.
Speaker 5: Pineapple schmineapple.
Speaker 3: The code is pineapple mineapple. Hm.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna forget that before they I've got it written
down and highlighted, but I'll still forget it.
Speaker 3: And then this young strapping lad over here. You see
a guy with a guard outfit, but he's got some
overalls over him. But one of the overalls is unhooked
and he's got some straw he's chewing on. This is
Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's not very friendly, but he does keep
the prisoners in check. That's what That's what counts, right, Yes,
I can respect that, So Fuzzy and Princess more books.
If you hear one of these people say pineapple, schmineapple,
please extract them immediately and bring them to me, and
they both nod. They're like, all right, is there any
other questions or concerns you have before you go in?
Speaker 6: When they change guards, let the next guards know.
Speaker 3: Also, do you think you'll be in there for more
than five days?
Speaker 6: Maybe we don't know.
Speaker 3: We will, indeed, let the next guards know.
Speaker 4: We do.
Speaker 5: Like breakfast.
Speaker 2: There, we go.
Speaker 4: Then we're vacationing on floor one.
Speaker 3: Before you go in get here, we're gonna stay one.
Do you have any dangerous weapons that you are taking
with you?
Speaker 5: Hell, yes we do, And well, yeah.
Speaker 3: I have concerns about if they fall into the hands
of the prisoners. Nobody's touching my axe, Okay, as you were.
Speaker 6: I have expected the one guard to just be in
a red dress and I'll see the bottom half of right.
Speaker 4: So if we want to use the names, you would
be Heaven, Spacey Adiro would be Star was the sword.
I was the barred, so I'd be Ray. You're not
a halfling, so I guess you would have to go
as Dust the artificer.
Speaker 3: Sure, the panda artificer.
Speaker 4: We'll just we'll just leave you as a panda and
say we picked you up on the way.
Speaker 3: Who am I Star?
Speaker 4: Star was the name of the fighter.
Speaker 6: I'm a chaos wizard, Pandemonium, so dumb.
Speaker 3: There's gonna be a ding in there. That's a that's
a wrestler name.
Speaker 2: That's that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 5: Waiting, who's Bill Bill?
Speaker 3: Who are you Bill?
Speaker 2: Ray?
Speaker 3: Ray?
Speaker 4: Ray, Yeah, Star Ray.
Speaker 5: I feel like I should know this.
Speaker 3: Heaven's panda, Yeah, Pan Pan, Pana Pana, all right, and
he opens up the door. Let's you go on in.
Speaker 6: It's gonna waddle in, squash him up against the door
as I go by.
Speaker 3: Burdon me, girls, girls, yeah, head on in there.
Speaker 4: I will go last, all right, at least there's dangerous typical.
Speaker 3: So you go in and it's exactly like the corridor
that you went in to enter into the prison. So
you've got the corridor here and you have another corridor there,
only there's glass and on the left and right of you,
and you can see that glass is where you could
go and approach the windows to speak to the guards
on the inside. So you can see that glass as
you're walking out. But you have to go through the
two doors to be able to get to the general area,
so that there's an extra layer of security. So just
as you all four get into the corridor, the door
behind you closes, which then allows the door in front
of you to open. You've just in the handle and
you make your way on into the town. Yeah mm hmm.
And as you walk in, you do see a gang
of guys kind of sitting back near the front area,
you know, once rolling a quarter all, you know, across
the knuckles of his finger, and he's got a few
guys behind him. But they're all kind of gruff looking, right,
so maybe they're not shaving. They've got their hair all frizzled,
they've got their You know, their clothes are nice and
clean still though, but everything about them just screams like
they don't really take care of themselves. You know, they're
kind of gruff.
Speaker 5: The gangering gang.
Speaker 3: Nope, he's are the rowdy rough boys. The rowdy rough boys.
One looks up and say, hey, yeah, I see you guys.
What are you doing here?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we see you too. Oh this is where they
put warlocks.
Speaker 3: Oh we got another warlock.
Speaker 4: Boys.
Speaker 6: I just walk right up to him and start sniffing
them really uncomfortably close.
Speaker 3: It is not a good smell. It is not a
good smell. Are you trying to do an intimidation factor?
All right, make a roll for that ten? Ten? Oh yeah,
so he's He starts leaning back away from you. He
drops the coin that he was rolling across his knuckles
on the ground and said, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm just
trying to talk here. I'm all friends. I step on
the coin and pot you're gonna have that friend? So, uh,
how'd they catch you?
Speaker 2: Usual way?
Speaker 3: Oh they use that.
Speaker 2: They reflected on you blew up half my crew. Oh no,
you get a panda to make up for him.
Speaker 3: Ah, well, my name's Rowdy I uh was a conjured
in the necromancy nation. I had a ship, we had
stolen it. We were sailing the deserts. It was fantastic
until out of nowhere, a whole bunch of conjuration mad
just landing in the ship just summoned up a whole
bunch of piranha. Only they started eating the boat. We
fell into a lifeboat. They grabbed us, they shackled us,
put these anti magic collars on us, and brought us here.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The colors are the worst.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how they get you. You can't say anything,
you can't do anything right, can't cast any spells, not.
Speaker 2: A one, not a one, prey to your other worldly powers.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, I mean it cuts you off in here.
You can't you can't even talk to them from here,
you know. And my miss mind you know, my fairy godmother.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my fairy godmother too.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, yeah, all right, we got birds. We
got something in common here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, sure.
Speaker 3: Mine was a winter feit. How about yours?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's I mean like springtime.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, that's a season.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It lisn't rowdy. It's nice to meet you. We'll
see you around, I'm sure, I'm gonna go check out
this this town.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, the town we call the town Townsville.
Speaker 2: That's cool, daddy.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Well if you need anything, you know, you
just come to old rowdy all right.
Speaker 2: You're a guy who can get stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm the guy who can get stuff.
Speaker 2: That's why you got coins to flip around.
Speaker 3: Well you took but yeah to give to pandas. Right, yeah,
yeah yeah. I'll tell you what though, if you came
in here with a pack of smokes, that would go
a long way.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call out my pack of smokes. You a couple,
I'm ias some ten of them because they come back.
Speaker 3: These are the magic ones. Yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool,
thank you?
Speaker 2: All right, he.
Speaker 3: Does owe you a favor kin of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So so the town, right, So those guys are sitting
on a table like some some picnic style tables right
at the front. But the town is actually a really
nice put together place. You've got there aren't really like
houses or anything down here, right, It's still just one
floor I think, like a really really large gymnasium. Okay,
but they do have it like sectioned off like makeshift walls.
They've got some sheets and stuff that they've thrown off
the section off their own little personal spaces. People have beds,
So yeah, there's some good areas. There's like a workout
area that's here. Towards the back end. You can definitely
see that there is a kitchen area that's there, mostly
cold food and and uh, you know, not a lot
of good ventilation in here to be cooking up some
hot foods. So hot pockets, no hot pockets, cold pockets
or room temp pocketswa no microwaves damn. So you uh,
you see these areas that are there. You also see
kind of like a little library area that's there with
a bunch of books, but the shelves are kind of
sprawled out in different areas so people can gain access
to them.
Speaker 4: Make our way of the kitchen. Do you want to
look around first?
Speaker 2: Let's go. Let's go check things out over there by
the kitchen, all right.
Speaker 3: So you make your way through, people are glaring at you,
staring at you. Uh, there's a couple of people who
wave high to you as you come through, and a
couple people who do that you like to kill you,
lying across their throat, like you know, threats that they
say to you.
Speaker 2: Get one of those ones.
Speaker 3: There's a there's a big guy that blows Bill a kiss, and.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna look him dead in his eyes, and mind
eating a sandwich, I mean walk away.
Speaker 3: He's very confused. We all are now.
Speaker 5: And you get to kind of sandwich a hot dog.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I eat a hot dog like you eat
a normal sandwich. That's really confusing. But two hands, hands
from one side to the other.
Speaker 3: Normally I eat my sandwiches of the corner piece.
Speaker 2: It's a really long skinny.
Speaker 4: One might sandwiches by peeling the crust off first and
eating the crust first. Mind that no one understands with
a hot dog, but.
Speaker 2: Guy just thinks he wants a banana.
Speaker 4: I passed every single part of Bard school, but the
mime section that was a real.
Speaker 5: Struggled on that.
Speaker 4: That's my real problem for me.
Speaker 6: It's hard to incorporate his symbols.
Speaker 2: This is.
Speaker 4: It wasn't hard to incorporate them. I just couldn't pass
with them.
Speaker 2: They're hard for both incorporate symbols.
Speaker 3: So you get to the kitchen area and you look
over the counter and it's a subway style. You know,
you got the sneeze guard there, and you've got you know,
people behind there prepping your food. But you've got cold salad,
cold oats, You've got you know, fruits, and there's like
a jello substitute there. Of course, you have the runny eggs,
you know, the like mixture of eggs that you find
in all the hotels and all the inns. Right, and
you see, just behind the sneeze guard, there's a handful
of people working. All of them are goblin esque and
nature right, sickly looking goblins. And there's one standing behind them,
not actually serving food, but just looking at everyone and
keeping an eye on them. And he sees you approach
and he's like, hey, huh, we got some fresh meat here,
don't we not.
Speaker 4: It all looks pretty old than me actually, oh me. Yeah.
Speaker 2: What about the jello though, where'd you get that?
Speaker 3: Oh? The jello that came from the gods.
Speaker 2: You boiled their bones?
Speaker 3: Oh man, wouldn't that be something One day, my friend?
One day? What are you in for?
Speaker 2: Oh? I'll be in a warlot.
Speaker 3: Oh damn, that's what I'm in for too. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
oh man.
Speaker 2: I always gets you. But it's worth it in it.
Speaker 3: It really is, it really is. I mean, it's hard
to like, you know, say no to an eldritch god
when they tell you, hey, I'm going to give you
unlimited power.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was Eldritch Eldrich. I got the winter ones.
What about you?
Speaker 3: The wind? The winter gods gods.
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just I'm just pulling your leg. Listen. Uh,
that looks like a pretty great kitchen, and I am
not great at cooking, but my friend Ray over here
really wants to check it out. So do you think
we could just have a look around.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'll tell you what. Let's finish up the
dinner rush and then I'll show you guys around. How's
about that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good that's a good deal.
Speaker 3: All right. You want some of the sludge on your plate?
Speaker 2: So what Yeah? Sledge me up?
Speaker 3: All right? So you you're the poorlock. Yeah?
Speaker 2: Having having space is the name.
Speaker 3: Having spacey all? I have heard of a heaven specie?
Speaker 2: Yeah here I am.
Speaker 3: Yeah. You you had the big rod, right, that's the one. Huh,
very cool, very cool. I heard you stuck that up
somebody's Yahoo one time and activated it.
Speaker 2: I've activated so many. Who's any idea.
Speaker 3: That's a fan? I would love to hear all these stories.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you would. It's a lonely place in it.
Speaker 3: It really is my big thing that I was given
a pitchfork, you know, but I was never able to
fit that up anyone's Yahoo.
Speaker 2: No pitch for you have to split that between three yahoo's.
Speaker 5: I think, oh, man, have you ever tried using it
vertically or what?
Speaker 3: That's genius?
Speaker 5: Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 6: So while they're discussing yahoos, I think I'm gonna just
pand them meander through the kitchen door and just start
snipping around the kitchen.
Speaker 3: The goblins actually wire go and kind of block there,
like well, well, well, well well he's okay, it's fine.
Speaker 4: Just don't don't mind express over there.
Speaker 6: Just kind of like like if you know, if one
of them blocks me, I'll kind of go o one
one blocks me there, I'll just.
Speaker 2: Kind of go over here.
Speaker 3: One grabs a handful of lettuce and chucks it over
the sneeze guard. They're like, oh, that.
Speaker 2: Way, he doesn't like lettuce. He smell something in there.
Just let them go in and get it. It's fine.
Speaker 3: Make a make a roll, fake a Christmas roll. We'll
see if you get past them. No, no, okay, that's okay,
all right, So so the one the Jesus the Green
uh so, mister Green, He's like, hey, you can't go
back to somebody get him. And so one of the
goblins goes to grab you, and he's got a ladle
full of mashed potatoes and he just smacks you in
the face with it, like not trying to harm you,
but he's trying to stop you. And he can't reach
you because he's tiny and you're a giant panda. And
he smacks you in a face with a face full
of mashed potatoes and you stumble backwards out because they
are so salty that is now burning eyes get a
little freaked out and start and just start thrashing around
little bit, probably knocking watching pants and ship all over
the kitchen. Oh yeah, come on, guys, this is why
I said after the dinner.
Speaker 2: Rush, after Dinneranda, all right, we're gonna hit panda his
guy's rins.
Speaker 6: Yeah. I just end up sitting on my panda rump,
wiping it out of my face and licking it off
my paws.
Speaker 3: Why don't you guys find uh, you know, here's some
plates of food, eat this. Why don't you guys find
your place that you're gonna sleep for the night after
you get all settled in, Come see me. My name's Green, all.
Speaker 2: Right, it's the deal, all right.
Speaker 6: I grab a ladle in my mouth and take off.
Speaker 9: This concludes this episode of a fools Quest, and join
us next time for more fun and daring adventure. Thank
you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
and comment on your favorite platform to listen to all
fools Quest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you still got your best vest underneath your evokere uniform,
don't you.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 2: And it's still got an Adreur uniform, doesn't it It does? Okay, good, Yeah,
it's a prisoner transfer. We had to sneak to the
city to get him here.
Speaker 4: All right. Nothing, nothing's happening off camera and not Panda.
Speaker 2: Panta.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: Everything's completely under control. Uh.
Speaker 3: He takes you through a couple of places, then takes
you to a stairwell.
Speaker 10: It's like, I want to bark at something, losers, and
now back to our regular schedule program.
Speaker 3: It's Townsville, right, that's what. Yeah, that's what I thought.
I was gonna look it up. I was like, I'm confident,
all right. Sorry forgot that I had to name the community,
all right.
Speaker 6: So wait a minute, it's not gonna it's not gonna work,
danger danger Will Robinson.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how I had it originally. But then people
have to keep going in and out through there.
Speaker 2: It's just.
Speaker 3: It's the only way you can get on the couch.
Speaker 2: I will take this, man.
Speaker 4: God, I'm just trying to take a drink and you know,
your old soda in your mouth and all just turns.
Speaker 2: I'll have to get in a little bit.
Speaker 4: Because he was he thought it was a game.
Speaker 3: It's very calmly.
Speaker 4: He said no, and he said, all right, well then
fuck you.
Speaker 3: All right, we're gonna find that dice bag break so
more trying to take his dice bag.
Speaker 6: Didn't you