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Speaker 1: Erow dot net. It's more than a podcast, It's a

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podcast network, twenty different podcasts to choose from. One of

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them being Beyond the Calling. I was challenged to talk

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with the men and women who have served this nation

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when it comes to the military. Listen to their stories,

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grow from their experiences. Now share it with everybody Beyond

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the Calling on erow dot net, Arie dot net. Enjoy

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your exploration. How are you doing today?

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Speaker 2: I'm very good at expin it.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you what your new book is something that

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a lot of people need to not only put their

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hands on it, but they need to activate it. While

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you were putting it together, did you feel that same energy?

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It's like, okay, here are my thoughts, but I need

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to see some physical activation.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I did, and I also felt the physical activation

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within myself going through the whole process of writing the books.

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And I wrote it specifically in the way that I

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did so that I can activate people. I have this

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section called the Soul as an Answer, so that we

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start thinking by ourselves about what we're going through and

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what is a lying underneath the surface. And then I

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also have these sections where I have the nudget notes

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reader also to activate the readers to get more into themselves,

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think into more into their bodies.

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Speaker 1: Now did you have to go in there and basically

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redefine the word fear because I bout fell over when

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somebody yesterday told me fear is not what you think

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it is, it's respect, and I thought, I've never heard

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of that before. What do you think?

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Speaker 2: Well? I always looked at fear from a perspective of

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fear is the trigger, then it wants to teach you something.

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So whenever I felt fear, I always went like fall

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towards this sad on and tried to say what it

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was trying to tell me? Where is it coming from?

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Why do I feel a certain way?

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Speaker 1: Now? One of the things that you cover is insomnia

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in the way that you know. I mean, because I'm

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a meditator. I also I will not take melatonin or

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any drugs to go to sleep. My wife, on the

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other hand, is one hundred percent different. But the thing

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about it is, though, is that when you have insomnia,

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it feels like you are under a lot of trauma.

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How do you suggest that we handle the trauma or,

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as you said a few seconds ago.

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Speaker 2: The trigger for me, it was definitely in the combination

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of the fear, because my insomnia came with an aspect

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of fear, and I didn't realize that the anxiety that

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I was feeling in my infomnia was a trigger related

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to earn abuse that I had gone through earlier in life.

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So I think when we are not when we're having

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difficulties sleeping, it's actually not about going through our head

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as an Oh I want to sleep, Oh I need

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to sleep. I have to get up early tomorrow morning.

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This is going to cost me. I'm going to feel

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very exhausted tomorrow when I wake up, I won't be

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able to function properly. I think if we let go

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of all those triggers, those mental thoughts, and we try

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to ask ourselves what am I actually feeling? Where is

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this coming from? I think from that perspective we can

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get deeper underneath the surface to really find out what

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is happening. Also, the aspect of feelings also so much.

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The fact that I would anxiety and have like this

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feeling of ants crawling underneath my skin. I didn't understand it.

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I didn't understand and it will only frustrate me even

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more because why am I feeling this way? And so

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I think when I started asking myself these questions and

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I started looking deeper within and finding the answerity insomnia,

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I understood it better. And there's also an aspect of

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time that we sleep. We think that we need seven

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to eight hours to be able to function fly in

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the world, but everybody's biology is different and everybody needs

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maybe a little bit more time, maybe less more time.

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It all depends on yourself. So if we start trying

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to figure out what works for us, the amounts of

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sleep that works for us, that also brings peace. It

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also brings press where you can look at the whole

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situation from a different perspective.

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Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with Charmai D coming

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up next, the name of the book, Finding Sleep Resting

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in a Body Shaped by Fear. Let's get back to

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that talk with Charmaie D. Now, Charmlie. My situation is

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is that when I did morning radio, my wake up

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time was three forty five am. Guess what since the

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nineteen nineties is when I did morning radio, I still

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wake up at three forty five. Those creative monsters want

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to get up and get to work. So I sometimes

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I'll go, you don't have insomnia, you need to tame

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down that inner creative monster.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, your biology has learned to wake up at a

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certain time. Yep. Oh, as much as you want to

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change it, maybe you can try by this giving yourself

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a half an hour extra time in bed and see

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how that works for you. And spending that time on

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your days of might give you also rest, not having

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to get up immediately and want to run and go

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with the flow, but more as taking a time to

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wake up into the body, wake up into the world,

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feel what you maybe think about, what you dreamt els

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the night before, or how did you experience your sleep

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the evening before you woke up. So these are all

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aspects I find very helpful when I wake up at

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a certain time and I like wide awake and I

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can't go back to solid.

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Speaker 1: See, I used your book as a way to calm

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my butt down this morning in the way that I

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was very creative. I was ready to go at three

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o'clock this morning. And the thing is, though, is in

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using your words your lessons in life, I said, Okay,

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I realize you're awake, but let's just go out here

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and like you said, I'm going to rest in my

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body and then and then at a certain time, you

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can get up if you need to get up. I

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had one of the most peaceful dreams by doing what

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you suggested, Charmie.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Yeah. It's we always think that the body

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needs rest when we sleep well, the body can also

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rest by just lying down and calming the mind.

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Speaker 1: So how many adults are trapped in an addiction and

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that addiction has created a guilt trip which has poisoned

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the soul. I mean, it's like there's so much weight

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on your paragraphs and it's almost like we're going to

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be coming to you, Charmie. It's just say I need

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some help here.

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Speaker 2: M hmm. Well, I look forward to hearing from everybody

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so that I can help give you my advice.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you you talked about something very traumatic that

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happened to you as a child. I mean, so many

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times people will say, yeah, this is what happened to me,

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and you go, I want to go into what you're saying.

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But it's the difference between empathy and sympathy. Do we

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jump into the hole or do they have to sit

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there and realize how to get out of that hole?

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And we're going to be standing up here with our

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adult choes on saying I knew you could do it,

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I knew you could pass this.

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Speaker 2: But isn't that the ego telling us that we need

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to have a result, yes, amen, instead of just accepting

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a situation for as it is. And empathy does not

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mean that you have to get involved. And you can

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have empathy from a distance looking at a person's situation,

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embracing it, but not having to jump in and say, oh,

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I need the help, or this is happening to me

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and I need to help myself figure it out and

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put pressure on ourselves, which creates even more anxiety, even

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more stress. When we learn to accept that things are

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the way they are, it brings peace, and peace brings relaxation.

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Speaker 1: Abandonment is something that you put focus on. And I

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believe that we as people abandon ourselves throughout the day,

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and when we abandon ourselves, we go through the same

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emotions of what we feel when another person abandons us.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and these are lessons that we don't realize that

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we are thought from abandonment when we are abandoned by

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the person that is supposed to cure for us and

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give us the love that we need, and we start

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neglecting our own love because we never learned how to

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love ourselves from the beginning. We're abandoning ourselves, so in

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situations we keep abandoning ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Wow, where can people go to find out more about you?

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Because I want them to understand your depth as well

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as your true compassion for all people.

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Speaker 2: I have a Facebook page called Finding Sleep and you

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can go to website which is finding ww dot finding

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fleabook dot com. It is still under construction, so please

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don't expect something super friendly or whatever. Very basic, and

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then you can also send me an email at hello

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at finding fleetbook dot com.

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Speaker 1: I love it. You got to come back to this

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show anytime in the future so that we can talk

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about this even more and more and more to help

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people grow forward in a very peace filled mind.

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Speaker 2: I was absolutely love that arrow excellent.

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Speaker 1: Will you be brilliant today?

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, thank you very much