Speaker 1: Luther was being released, and he was overjoyed to have
his freedom back. Despite the fact that Carmen had divorced him,
never contacted him or ever came to see him, Luther
still loved and wanted to be with her. He wanted
to pick up where they'd left off and win her
heart back. Setting the house on fire and asking her
to come to hell with him was a major mistake,
which he now realized. He reduced his inexcusable actions to
mere accidents, just like everything else that had gone wrong
in his life. When Luther got out of jail, he
discovered Carmen had shipped what.
Speaker 2: Was left of his belongings to prison for him to
take when he was released.
Speaker 1: That was the only indication that he had that she'd
even ever thought of him. He twisted that reality in
his mind and told himself that if she cared to
give him back his belongings, then there was still hope
for them. He could save their marriage. They could be
a team again. That is what he wanted. He wanted
to move back in with her. He wanted her to
rescue him like she'd done before. He would be a
better person this time. He would try extra hard to
make their life together work. I will tell her everything,
he thought to himself. I will tell her about the accident,
the little girl, the state trooper, Packard, everything. Once I
tell her what I was dealing with, she'll understand. And
that is what Luther believed, and that is what drove
him to find Carmen. The first place he went after
he released was Carmen's condo. He quickly discovered she no
longer lived there. He then went up to the elementary
school to see if he could catch her at work.
Once he got there, he was told that she hadn't
worked there for years. Luther then took a big risk
and went to Big Daddy's Exotic dance club to track
down Carmen's sister, Nicki. He knew that by showing his
face around there ran the risk of running into Packard
and being shot on sight. However, it was a risk
he was willing to take. When he arrived at Big Daddy's,
Nicki was nowhere to be found, with no place to
go and no one to turn to, the reality of
his situation hit hard. Luther tried to hang on to
his mental stability, but he couldn't. His mind cracked and
he became a mentally disturbed man, Luther wandered the streets
of Chicago, disturbed, penniless, and homeless. He was now a
shabby looking man with thick, untamed hair, dirty looking skin,
and layers of charity clothing that was filthy with dirt
and grime from being in the gutter. He drifted into
downtown Chicago and hung around the train stations, begging for
money and hoping that chance would allow him to see
his beloved Carmen. When he couldn't find any sign of Carmen,
Luther fell deeper into He started talking to himself out loud,
which caused people to cross the street when they saw him.
Luther even got to the point that he began having
arguments with his reflection. I didn't do it. I told
you that already, he barked at his reflection. There were
patrons sitting in the window that he was yelling at,
who brushed him off as some homeless lunatic who was
disturbing their meal. Luther walked away from the window, but
his reflection followed him. What you want a piece of me? Huh?
I'll whoop your ass, Luther threatened himself. I told you already, man,
you were not listening. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't
didn't kill that little girl. I wasn't there, Luther yelled
loud as he continued walking down the street and arguing
with himself, what do you mean? What about my son?
My son loves me. He knew that I didn't mean
to leave him in that sinking car. Don't ask me
about that anymore. Luther pointed at himself and then stopped walking.
He stood on the sidewalk and postured as if someone
was threatening him. If you ask me another goddamn question,
I'm going to kill you.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, leave me, leave me for alone.
Speaker 1: Luther eventually drifted away from downtown and was now moving
like a zombie down Perry Street, where his old apartment
was once located. The bitterly cold February wind whipped through
his layers of grossly soiled clothing. It was one of
the coldest nights Chicago had experienced in some time. It
was nine degrees below zero, but with the wind chill,
it felt more like twenty.
Speaker 2: Degrees below zero.
Speaker 1: Luther could no longer feel his toes, and he tucked
his fingers inside his armpits to keep them war The
howling wind froze everything in its path, forcing everyone to
remain indoors where it was warm. Luther's breathing had become
short and labored, and he felt as if his tragic
existence was about to come to an end. He reached
the front of what was now his burned out and
a bend and apartment building. He made his way inside.
He stumbled on the steps of his old apartment and
sat on the floor, resting his head against the wall.
He shivered violently as a gust of wind blew in
from somewhere and spun around his body like the winds
of a Category five hurricane. He closed his eyes and
welcomed the thought of freezing to death. When Luther opened
his eyes, he was in a different place. He was
no longer curled up against the walls of his basement apartment.
His eyes darted wildly from right to left, looking around.
He was laying on his side on the floor of
a bathroom. He sat straight up, looking around. Broken chunks
of wood and tile were scattered all over the floor,
and he could hear the wind howling like a wolf
through an open window. He noticed that someone had stopped
a fire with wood from the walls. The person had
grabbed a steel garbage can from the alley and used
it to contain the fire. In the shadows of the
red flames, he saw someone emerge and move towards him.
His heart began racing with fear and uncertainty. Yeah, but
uh can get over here if you want to stay warm.
It was a woman, and the picture of her voice
seemed familiar to him. He'd heard that voice somewhere somewhere before.
And grab another base of wood out of the wall
and toss it down the fire, said the woman. Luther
sat up and grabbed more wood and walked toward the flame.
He tossed the wood into the fire and sat down
on the floor and gawked at the woman before him.
He couldn't believe who he was looking at. After all
these years that had gone by, he had finally come
face to face with his drug addicted mother. Sugar, I
saw you when you sat down. Luther didn't say a word.
He just glared at her, unable to speak. He wasn't
sure if she even realized who he was. It's too
cold outside, Luther, You know that, don't you. Luther nodded
his head. Sugar looked horrible. She was bony and frail.
Her eyes were set deep in their sockets, and she
coughed a lot. It was the same sick cough he'd
heard when he worked at the hospital. He called it
the cough of death. Sugar shivered uncontrollably. Do you have
anything on you? She sniffled, Do you know something from
a nervese? Luther swung his head from side to side,
indicating he didn't.
Speaker 2: He couldn't believe.
Speaker 1: His mother was asking him for drugs. She hadn't changed
the memories of the countless times he pulled needles out
of her arm. Came rushing back.
Speaker 2: You ain't got no cigarettes or nothing, man. She stood
up and warmed her hands against the heat of the fire.
Speaker 1: Oh in a bad way, my niece, My damn nurse.
Speaker 3: You want me to suck you all real good or something,
I'll do it.
Speaker 2: Good job promos.
Speaker 1: She glared at Luther through the flames with pleading eyes.
Luther's sympathy for her quickly became as cold as the
weather outside.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm sorry, didn't mean that.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm sorry forgiving mama.
Speaker 2: She's say that.
Speaker 1: Sugar pleaded with him to forgive her life has been
hard for me.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: It ain't been no crystal staircase, Sugar explained as she
tossed another piece of wood inside the barrel. I've got
one foot in the grave, and the other foot.
Speaker 2: Is only a.
Speaker 3: The only thing of value I haven't left in this
world is the blood in my veins, and I'm not
sure that's worth much.
Speaker 1: Luther was confused. He didn't know if he should be
happy or angry. Don't don't, don't.
Speaker 2: Look at me like that. I'm still your mother, no matter.
Speaker 1: Bad off I am.
Speaker 2: I'm the one who gave birth to you.
Speaker 1: Sugar trembled violently and started coughing, and couldn't stop. When
she finally did quiet her cough, she stuck her fingers
down her collar and pulled up a shoe string necklace
that had a small heart shaped locket on it. She
took it away from around her neck and opened the locket.
Here she extended her bony arm out to him. Luther
took the locket from her hand, which had a picture
of him as a baby in it. The picture looked
just like his son Nicholas Lutheror closed it back up
and then asked her a question he'd always wanted to know.
Speaker 2: Why.
Speaker 1: He asked, why did you leave me in that store
that day?
Speaker 2: So you want to know the truth.
Speaker 1: Huh, Sugar whispered as she tried to keep warm. Yes,
Luther answered, Wow, ain't no sense and telling part of
the truth.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna tell it all to you.
Speaker 1: It's not pretty, So I hope, I.
Speaker 2: Hope you got the stomach.
Speaker 1: But what I'm about to tell you, Sugar said, and
had yet another violent coughing attack. She spat, and Luther
noticed her saliva was filled with blood.
Speaker 2: Are you okay?
Speaker 1: Luther felt sudden concerned for her. I'm fine, she barked.
Speaker 3: I just wish death would just come on in and
get it over with.
Speaker 1: Death wants to touch me, Sugar said, as she eased
herself back down on the floor. I think dragging you
in here too, most of my strain.
Speaker 2: Sugar looked exhausted.
Speaker 1: When the sun comes up, I'll get you to a hospital,
Luther said, as he moved closer to the fire. You
you were, always you, always.
Speaker 2: A good boy. Luther.
Speaker 1: Sugar wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to
keep her body from trembling so violently. A long moment
of silence hung in the air as Luther waited for
her to begin talking. She then took a deep breath
and slowly exhaled. I did love you, Luther, Sugar whispered.
Speaker 2: I loved you enough to know that.
Speaker 1: If I didn't get you away from me, I was
going to kill you. And I didn't want to kill you.
I never wanted to kill nobody for that matter, kill me.
Why would you have killed me? Luther was puzzled by
her comment. So that you wouldn't have to know the
truth of what I said, Sugar wiping tears from her
cheek with the back of her trembling hand.
Speaker 4: I kill somebody, ah, a murderer.
Speaker 2: Luther was silent. He didn't see that one coming. It happened.
Speaker 1: Years ago, but it was an accident. Luther's heart skipped
a beat when she said that she sounded just like him.
What do you mean it was an accident? Luther asked
for clarification. Sugar began coughing again. I'm tired, Luther. I'm
so tired of caring around my guilt. I thought that
a getting high, i'd forget all about I forget all
about it.
Speaker 2: But I can't.
Speaker 1: Guilt has slowly been eaten away of my soul.
Speaker 2: Sugar was silent for another long moment. I never told.
Speaker 1: Anyone about them. The only other person in the world
who knows about it is Packing. Years ago, when I
was prostitute, Packard pulled me off the street one night
and asked me to take a ride with him. One
of his informants gave him the home address of a
rival drug dealer. We were going over there to rob him.
Packard had learned that the dude kept his money in
a sack that was in the kitchen under a loose floorboard.
Packard wanted me to break in and find the money
and get out. It was a real simple job because
the dude was out of town and the informant had
somehow disabled the house alarm system.
Speaker 4: So we drive out to the house in the middle
of the night and found the place.
Speaker 1: Packet had the car. Gave me a gun, he said,
you sa in case there were any surprises.
Speaker 2: I'm like a dog, he said.
Speaker 1: He was going to be the lookout in case anyone
came home unexpectedly. I went around the back and broke
a window to get in.
Speaker 4: Was I was inside, I started looking for the loose floorboard.
Speaker 1: The next thing I know, someonce would just on the
light without even thinking.
Speaker 4: I pointed the corner, shot up man holding up baseball back.
Speaker 2: I heard the.
Speaker 1: Voice of the little girl call out, daddy. I didn't
mean be squaze the trigger. I was just so damn scared.
I can still see his eyes. He looked like he
was so surprised. I shot him. Sugar was crying now.
I ran out of the house and jumped into the
car with Packer. It wasn't a tool. We drove away,
and we figured out the address in the house i'd
broken into was three six three Main Street and not
three nine three Main Street. The number above the front
door had fallen and turned the sixth into a nine.
Speaker 2: On the news.
Speaker 1: Later home, I found out I'd killed a single father
who had two daughters. No, Luther, hold out, you take
that back. He sprang to his feet to tell tell tale,
tell me that not true, Luther, And here's the truth.
I swear to come. Here's the truth, Sugar said, you
kill my wife's father. Luther was doing all that he
could to keep from going into hysterics. His mind was
having trouble accepting what he just heard. Luther I swear
it was an accident. Accidents happened. No, no, no. Luther
dropped to his knees, pulled his face into his hands,
and screamed, I'm so sorry, Louther, Sugar said, with pain
in her voice.
Speaker 2: I didn't know. How was I supposed to know? Sugar said,
and began coughing once more.
Speaker 4: I didn't know that you married that you married one
of the mayor's daughters. I had no idea you ruined
their lives. Everything fell apart for them after their father
was murdered. Come and used to cry every time she
thought about how she'd lost her father.
Speaker 1: Luther recalled, well, was done is done. I can't do
nothing about it now, Sugar said, that's what Packet meant
when he said that I had bad calm. It was
all making sense to Luther now as he sat back
down and processed everything Sugar had just told him. The
emotional pain of what he had just learned, along with
the arctic cold, was so powerful he passed out. When
he awoke the following afternoon, he sat upright and looked
over at Sugar, who was sitting in an upright position,
but her head was slumped awkwardly. Mama Luther called out
to her, but she didn't answer, Mama, wake up still,
there was no answer from her. Luther scooted over to her,
and the moment he touched her cold hands, he realized
that she was gone. You rest, Mama, Luther said, you
don't have to live with the guilt sitting on your
shoulders anymore. I'm going to find my wife and tell
her that she doesn't have to feel guilty anymore either.
It was just an accident, Like you said, accidents happened.
Luther left his apartment building and walked to a nearby
pay phone and down nine one one and informed the
operator of where the police would find a Jane Doe
so his mother could be laid to rest. The first
thing Luther wanted to do was find Packard and make
him pay. If Packard could hold a crime above his
head and ruin his life, then so could he. Packard
wouldn't be hard to find. He knew at some point
he'd come by Big Daddies, so that's where Luther went
and waited until he saw Packard pull up one day
before the club opened up. Then Packard Luther called out
to him as he rushed across the street to catch
him before he went inside.
Speaker 2: Packard, I need to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Packard didn't recognize Luther and thought he was some homeless
nut wanting money. Luther caught him just as he was
stepping inside. Sugar is Gone, Luther said, which got Packard's attention.
Hoo a fuck are you? Packard asked, don't you recognize me?
Luther paused for a moment. I'm Luther. What do you
want Luther? And when the fuck did you get out
of jail? Packard was suspicious of him. I want to
talk about I want to talk to you about something
very very very very important, Luther said, Boy, God damn,
you stink. You need to go someplace and wash your ass.
Luther didn't care about what Packard thought about his body
or her. He only wanted to get even with him
in some way. Tell you what, God damn, I'll give
you a funk ass. Five seconds, Nikki Packard hollered. A
woman half naked came out of the back room with
a silver platter and a drink on it. She said
Packard's lap. Luthor glanced over at Carmen's sister, Nicki. He
wanted to ask Nicki about the whereabouts of Carmen, but
she probably didn't know, since she and Carmen were strange
from each other. Nicki didn't even bother to come to
the hospital when Carmen and Luther had their baby, Nicky
baby and govern A ton of boy makes me up
another woman, Packard placing now empty shot glass on the train. Okay,
Nicki said, as she looked at Luther with eyes that
were asking a number of questions that Luthor didn't feel
like answering at the moment. Nicki held on to her
questions and moved over to the bar, which was within
an earshot of where Packard and Luther were. I came
here to talk about Anthony Baker. I knew all about
how he got killed. Nicki, hearing her father's name, dropped
the bottle of gin she was pouring for. Packard, you
break another goddamn bottle, nick and I put my foot
up your motherfucking ass. Packard turned around in his seat
and launched dackers at Nikki.
Speaker 2: With his eyes. I know all about it, Packard. Sugar
told me.
Speaker 1: She told me how you gave her the gun and
how she broke into the row house for you.
Speaker 2: So fucking what that shit happened?
Speaker 1: Twenty years ago, and now the only witness is dead.
Luther hadn't thought his plan out very well. He had
planned to hold that over Packard's head, but now he
realized he couldn't. You thought you were gonna come back
and blackmail me, didn't you? Packard laughed at him. Boy,
people don't fuck with me. I fucked with paper. Packard
leaned back in the seat and reached for his gun.
Let me guess you feel a need to get in
and what me? Because of all the cramp that has
gone wrong in your life? Right?
Speaker 2: You want old pack at the pay.
Speaker 1: Luther, suddenly, fearing for his own safety, sprang to his
feet and rushed out the door. He heard Packards haunting
an evil laugh as he made his hasty exit. A
few days later, Luther returned to the club, hoping to
catch Nikki so he could ask her about Carmen's whereabouts,
but he never saw her at the club ever again.