Speaker 1: So my older daughter's mother is dying. It could be
Speaker 1: any day now. Well it could be any day now,
Speaker 1: but it could mean she could live for a while
Speaker 1: or ago. In five minutes, the mother of my oldest
Speaker 1: daughter and my daughter is going through what I'm going through.
Speaker 1: It's my own mother, but her mother took a very
Speaker 1: severe turn this last couple of days for this show
Speaker 1: fifty plus. What I'm what I what's bringing to MINDE
Speaker 1: to me is I don't I don't know. My feelings
Speaker 1: are about the whole thing because we're not close like that,
Speaker 1: and we're not together and that kind of stuff. Boys
Speaker 1: share family and all stuff. But it's just my thought
Speaker 1: I'm trying to My thought is, wow, I'm at that
Speaker 1: age fifty plus. This is what happens. This is what
Speaker 1: is actual people, your peers start to start to go
Speaker 1: and depending on who you are with, who you decide
Speaker 1: to co parent with, as we always choose, we always,
Speaker 1: we all.
Speaker 2: Choose we coparent with right who you're coparing with.
Speaker 1: It if you're not together, you're not in love or
Speaker 1: together or you know all that stuff. It's strange we
Speaker 1: hear something's going on with them, because at one point
Speaker 1: you probably did love them. You probably were in love,
Speaker 1: you were all these things that you're not anymore. But
Speaker 1: where does it go. I've seen couples, ex couples get
Speaker 1: back together, not together, but like towards the end of
Speaker 1: life reconcile.
Speaker 2: I guess sneeze will.
Speaker 1: Come out, reconcile or make peace for each other. And
Speaker 1: so it was beautiful to watch. You're like, oh, this
Speaker 1: guy's very sweet, like they're just kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: let's let bygones be bygones. And he almost reminded my
Speaker 1: parents happened divorced since nineteen eighty four, and they are
Speaker 1: to see each other the nine each other's lives at all.
Speaker 1: And they saw each other at a funeral from my
Speaker 1: grandmother a lot. I guess it was a brief. I
Speaker 1: wasn't there, so I guess it was like a brief. Hello,
Speaker 1: he's remarried somebody else. She had to be married, but
Speaker 1: she had lost her husband. I even know if he
Speaker 1: knows she lost her husband, have no idea. Always wanted
Speaker 1: they were together like twenty five years. They were in
Speaker 1: love at one point. They have kids together. Obviously we're
Speaker 1: not close to my father either, the kids, but just
Speaker 1: like this is a trip because it's so like, wow,
Speaker 1: something happens to my mom or my dad. When I
Speaker 1: find out and tell the other or it is my
Speaker 1: he tells the other what they thought, because now I'm
Speaker 1: going through it kind of like hmm, I never really
Speaker 1: thought about this day happening.
Speaker 2: I never thought about this day coming. Uh. And it's like.
Speaker 1: Because we're nottically super close, like I'm not crying or
Speaker 1: anything yet, like it's like it's hitting me in a
Speaker 1: way and that's kind of like wow, that sucks. And
Speaker 1: it's really like this is this is this is not.
Speaker 1: I'm not happy to hear this. And mainly for my
Speaker 1: daughter and her brother, I got sneeze a girl, and
Speaker 1: for the grandkids, no matter what their intereshaip is with
Speaker 1: her or not, it's gonna be a loss. One less
Speaker 1: person here and in the grandparent pool in my generation
Speaker 1: is getting smaller and smaller. And watching my daughter have
Speaker 1: the same questions I had with my mother and stepdad,
Speaker 1: it's just like you're just like I try. I said,
Speaker 1: you know, you're a private club now that I wish
Speaker 1: you weren't, And I'm private club I wish I wasn't.
Speaker 1: And so now and we're talk about. We're talking, She's like,
Speaker 1: my mom was there for her mom's like, my mom
Speaker 1: was there for my grandma Mitzi and didn't make them
Speaker 1: you know why didn't they by it just goes, well,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, my mom may go, I'm not rushing
Speaker 1: to take care of stuff either.
Speaker 2: Like it's just it's a natural instant.
Speaker 1: You're thinking, well, you're seeing stuff happening to the parent,
Speaker 1: then you can just shit together to you And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get my shit together. I haven't done
Speaker 1: it fully. I'm trying. I mean, I am of that
Speaker 1: age and I'm like, I ainything could happen. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to pull together. But I'm like, it's a lot.
Speaker 2: It's a lot.
Speaker 1: It's a lot, And the loss is one thing I
Speaker 1: always say, if the loss is one day, it's more
Speaker 1: than the loss. It's the leading up to the loss,
Speaker 1: it's the aftermath of the loss.
Speaker 2: Those are the things to me, that's what it is.
Speaker 1: The loss is the moment thing that happens, but it's
Speaker 1: the all the stuff before that, trying to handle everything.
Speaker 2: It's it's it's a lot. It's a lot of.
Speaker 1: Kids that parts a lot. Like so right now, I'm
Speaker 1: completely overwhelmed. Completely, I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm looking at my
Speaker 1: my room, my house, my office, and I'm completely overwhelmed.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a show called A Lot of Help James,
Speaker 1: and I wanna talk about how I handle that on
Speaker 1: that show. But it's for you guys here listening to this.
Speaker 1: Those overwhelming and you just do not know what it's
Speaker 1: like until you're in it. And so I was very
Speaker 1: we're talking to her, I was very careful. I give
Speaker 1: a lot of advice. I just listen. I can ask
Speaker 1: her how she's doing. She's not really telling me how
Speaker 1: she's doing. She's right out the stage. She's at that
Speaker 1: stage I'm trying to figure anything out. And I understand, Oh,
Speaker 1: I totally understand. So I'm gonna give her a grace
Speaker 1: and time to work that out because I understand right
Speaker 1: now you're in the middle of it, try to figure
Speaker 1: it out.
Speaker 2: I get it. I not. I get it now.
Speaker 1: So that's almost a beautiful part of me going through
Speaker 1: it myself first, because now I can respond ways I
Speaker 1: wish people respond to me.
Speaker 2: And the lesson that's when you get older, you can
Speaker 2: start to try to learn something.
Speaker 1: Oh, Yeah, I'm gonna do it the way they're do
Speaker 1: it for me and not the way people think they
Speaker 1: are helping. I know, it's just it's a lot of kids.
Speaker 1: So we'll ended here. I'm sure I have more to
Speaker 1: talk about. You guys at home who are going through
Speaker 1: this to you know, it's like it's not fun and
Speaker 1: but it's evily a part of life that we're gonna
Speaker 1: have to all deal with.
Speaker 2: And it's fifty plus.
Speaker 1: I'm James, watching your j LJ Media Tuesdays a new episodes.
Speaker 1: Talk to you next time.