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<v Speaker 1>So my older daughter's mother is dying. It could be

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<v Speaker 1>any day now. Well it could be any day now,

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<v Speaker 1>but it could mean she could live for a while

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<v Speaker 1>or ago. In five minutes, the mother of my oldest

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<v Speaker 1>daughter and my daughter is going through what I'm going through.

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<v Speaker 1>It's my own mother, but her mother took a very

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<v Speaker 1>severe turn this last couple of days for this show

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<v Speaker 1>fifty plus. What I'm what I what's bringing to MINDE

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<v Speaker 1>to me is I don't I don't know. My feelings

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<v Speaker 1>are about the whole thing because we're not close like that,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're not together and that kind of stuff. Boys

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<v Speaker 1>share family and all stuff. But it's just my thought

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to My thought is, wow, I'm at that

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<v Speaker 1>age fifty plus. This is what happens. This is what

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<v Speaker 1>is actual people, your peers start to start to go

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<v Speaker 1>and depending on who you are with, who you decide

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<v Speaker 1>to co parent with, as we always choose, we always,

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<v Speaker 1>we all.

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<v Speaker 2>Choose we coparent with right who you're coparing with.

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<v Speaker 1>It if you're not together, you're not in love or

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<v Speaker 1>together or you know all that stuff. It's strange we

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<v Speaker 1>hear something's going on with them, because at one point

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<v Speaker 1>you probably did love them. You probably were in love,

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<v Speaker 1>you were all these things that you're not anymore. But

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<v Speaker 1>where does it go. I've seen couples, ex couples get

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<v Speaker 1>back together, not together, but like towards the end of

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<v Speaker 1>life reconcile.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess sneeze will.

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<v Speaker 1>Come out, reconcile or make peace for each other. And

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<v Speaker 1>so it was beautiful to watch. You're like, oh, this

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<v Speaker 1>guy's very sweet, like they're just kind of like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>let's let bygones be bygones. And he almost reminded my

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<v Speaker 1>parents happened divorced since nineteen eighty four, and they are

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<v Speaker 1>to see each other the nine each other's lives at all.

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<v Speaker 1>And they saw each other at a funeral from my

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<v Speaker 1>grandmother a lot. I guess it was a brief. I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't there, so I guess it was like a brief. Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>he's remarried somebody else. She had to be married, but

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<v Speaker 1>she had lost her husband. I even know if he

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<v Speaker 1>knows she lost her husband, have no idea. Always wanted

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<v Speaker 1>they were together like twenty five years. They were in

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<v Speaker 1>love at one point. They have kids together. Obviously we're

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<v Speaker 1>not close to my father either, the kids, but just

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<v Speaker 1>like this is a trip because it's so like, wow,

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<v Speaker 1>something happens to my mom or my dad. When I

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<v Speaker 1>find out and tell the other or it is my

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<v Speaker 1>he tells the other what they thought, because now I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going through it kind of like hmm, I never really

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<v Speaker 1>thought about this day happening.

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<v Speaker 2>I never thought about this day coming. Uh. And it's like.

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<v Speaker 1>Because we're nottically super close, like I'm not crying or

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<v Speaker 1>anything yet, like it's like it's hitting me in a

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<v Speaker 1>way and that's kind of like wow, that sucks. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's really like this is this is this is not.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not happy to hear this. And mainly for my

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<v Speaker 1>daughter and her brother, I got sneeze a girl, and

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<v Speaker 1>for the grandkids, no matter what their intereshaip is with

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<v Speaker 1>her or not, it's gonna be a loss. One less

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<v Speaker 1>person here and in the grandparent pool in my generation

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<v Speaker 1>is getting smaller and smaller. And watching my daughter have

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<v Speaker 1>the same questions I had with my mother and stepdad,

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<v Speaker 1>it's just like you're just like I try. I said,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you're a private club now that I wish

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<v Speaker 1>you weren't, And I'm private club I wish I wasn't.

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<v Speaker 1>And so now and we're talk about. We're talking, She's like,

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<v Speaker 1>my mom was there for her mom's like, my mom

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<v Speaker 1>was there for my grandma Mitzi and didn't make them

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<v Speaker 1>you know why didn't they by it just goes, well,

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<v Speaker 1>wait a minute, my mom may go, I'm not rushing

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<v Speaker 1>to take care of stuff either.

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<v Speaker 2>Like it's just it's a natural instant.

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<v Speaker 1>You're thinking, well, you're seeing stuff happening to the parent,

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<v Speaker 1>then you can just shit together to you And I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to get my shit together. I haven't done

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<v Speaker 1>it fully. I'm trying. I mean, I am of that

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<v Speaker 1>age and I'm like, I ainything could happen. I'm trying

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<v Speaker 1>to pull together. But I'm like, it's a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a lot, And the loss is one thing I

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<v Speaker 1>always say, if the loss is one day, it's more

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<v Speaker 1>than the loss. It's the leading up to the loss,

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<v Speaker 1>it's the aftermath of the loss.

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<v Speaker 2>Those are the things to me, that's what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>The loss is the moment thing that happens, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>the all the stuff before that, trying to handle everything.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's it's a lot. It's a lot of.

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<v Speaker 1>Kids that parts a lot. Like so right now, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>completely overwhelmed. Completely, I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm looking at my

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<v Speaker 1>my room, my house, my office, and I'm completely overwhelmed.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do a show called A Lot of Help James,

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<v Speaker 1>and I wanna talk about how I handle that on

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<v Speaker 1>that show. But it's for you guys here listening to this.

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<v Speaker 1>Those overwhelming and you just do not know what it's

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<v Speaker 1>like until you're in it. And so I was very

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<v Speaker 1>we're talking to her, I was very careful. I give

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of advice. I just listen. I can ask

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<v Speaker 1>her how she's doing. She's not really telling me how

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<v Speaker 1>she's doing. She's right out the stage. She's at that

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<v Speaker 1>stage I'm trying to figure anything out. And I understand, Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I totally understand. So I'm gonna give her a grace

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<v Speaker 1>and time to work that out because I understand right

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<v Speaker 1>now you're in the middle of it, try to figure

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<v Speaker 1>it out.

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<v Speaker 2>I get it. I not. I get it now.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's almost a beautiful part of me going through

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<v Speaker 1>it myself first, because now I can respond ways I

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<v Speaker 1>wish people respond to me.

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<v Speaker 2>And the lesson that's when you get older, you can

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<v Speaker 2>start to try to learn something.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, Yeah, I'm gonna do it the way they're do

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<v Speaker 1>it for me and not the way people think they

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<v Speaker 1>are helping. I know, it's just it's a lot of kids.

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<v Speaker 1>So we'll ended here. I'm sure I have more to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about. You guys at home who are going through

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<v Speaker 1>this to you know, it's like it's not fun and

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<v Speaker 1>but it's evily a part of life that we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have to all deal with.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's fifty plus.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm James, watching your j LJ Media Tuesdays a new episodes.

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<v Speaker 1>Talk to you next time.