Speaker 1: First of all, you earn rapports just like trust right.
Speaker 1: So rapport is not about the pithy saying or the
Speaker 1: immediate one liner. Oh now, all of a sudden, we're
Speaker 1: great friends. Rapport is about your ability to show that
Speaker 1: you're credible and you're reliable and you're genuinely likable.
Speaker 2: You're listening to the Audible Ready Podcast, the show that
Speaker 2: helps you and your teams sell more faster. We'll feature
Speaker 2: sales leaders sharing their best insights on how to create
Speaker 2: a sales engine that helps you fuel repeatable revenue growth.
Speaker 2: Presented by the team at Force Management, a leader in
Speaker 2: B to B sales effectiveness. Let's get started.
Speaker 3: Hello and welcome to the Audible Ready Sales Podcast. I'm
Speaker 3: Rachel klapt Miller. Thanks for listening today, and today I
Speaker 3: am joined by our own Brian Walsh.
Speaker 1: Hi. Brian, Hi, Rachel.
Speaker 3: So today we are going to talk about building rapport
Speaker 3: and we all know we need to do it, but
Speaker 3: what does that mean? So we're going to try to
Speaker 3: give you some tangible ways to build rapport with your
Speaker 3: prospects and your customers. I've talked to Brian a lot
Speaker 3: about this topic. He's kind of a master at building
Speaker 3: report and typically can boil it down to some great,
Speaker 3: great tips. So Brian, let's dive in. Now that I've
Speaker 3: set you up for success.
Speaker 1: I'm sure everybody listening who knows me would agree with
Speaker 1: what you just said.
Speaker 3: No, you're good at that and helping us have the
Speaker 3: right mindset when you start to engage somebody as a
Speaker 3: salesperson in a business conversation, those initial impressions, the initial
Speaker 3: conversations are critical. And I know we've talked a lot
Speaker 3: about this before, but for our new listeners, what is
Speaker 3: your mindset going into those initial conversations.
Speaker 1: Well, I thought about it before we got on the
Speaker 1: call today to record this, and I thought, you know,
Speaker 1: it's been a while, let me go back. So I
Speaker 1: opened up my handed handy dictionary and I was reminded
Speaker 1: of what rapport really is, and I think that might
Speaker 1: be interesting place to start. It was, and the definition
Speaker 1: that I wrote down was it's an understanding of each
Speaker 1: other's feelings or ideas and the ability to communicate those
Speaker 1: to each other. Well, and what I realized was not
Speaker 1: in the definition was the word friendship. So what I
Speaker 1: was reminded of was rapport is about mutual respect. Now
Speaker 1: in the end, if we develop great rapport, you and
Speaker 1: I both know there's a high likelihood we're going to
Speaker 1: become friends. But I think in the selling and the
Speaker 1: business conversation context, it was a good reminder of what
Speaker 1: rapport really is meant to be. It's about mutual respect.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I like that phrasing. It reminds me my husband
Speaker 3: always tells me, like when we've bought a car or
Speaker 3: we're go into something, He's like, Rachel, these people are
Speaker 3: not your friends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well it's funny. I had a young
Speaker 1: man stop at the front door recently, and he had
Speaker 1: his company logo and literally a pest control company. And
Speaker 1: I opened the door. Sometimes I just don't even bother
Speaker 1: it open the door. But I opened the door and
Speaker 1: immediately he says, oh, oh, well, I'm sure I'm talking
Speaker 1: to the king of the castle. And I immediately wanted
Speaker 1: to close the door to face, and you know a
Speaker 1: couple of other pithy little one liners like that, And
Speaker 1: I think the thing to remember is rapport is about,
Speaker 1: first of all, you earn report just like trust, right,
Speaker 1: So rapport is not about the pithy saying or the
Speaker 1: immediate one liner. Oh now, all of a sudden, we're
Speaker 1: great friends. Rapport is about your ability to show that
Speaker 1: you're credible and you're reliable and you're genuinely likable as
Speaker 1: a person from the moment you enter. So I think
Speaker 1: there's a couple of things that I always go back
Speaker 1: to that I've remembered. One is, and I learned this
Speaker 1: from our friends at OURSA a number of years ago.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a great thing that they taught
Speaker 1: their people three minutes and three things. Oh right, we
Speaker 1: learned three things about someone in three minutes before you
Speaker 1: go into a meeting. Now, it doesn't mean you're going
Speaker 1: to use them all, and you know, it doesn't mean,
Speaker 1: oh we both went to the same college, I'm going
Speaker 1: to throw that on the table when we first meet.
Speaker 1: But I got those things the back of my head
Speaker 1: as connection points that I can use in an appropriate fashion.
Speaker 1: There's one another thing that I've always remembered that I
Speaker 1: learned from Scott Rudy, who we met when he was
Speaker 1: at Peycourt. Thank you, I thought, Scott and Scott to
Speaker 1: this day, and I haven't talked to Scott in a while,
Speaker 1: but Scott's to this day I know still does this.
Speaker 1: When ever, Scott sends you an email, the first line
Speaker 1: of that email will be something that's personal between you
Speaker 1: and him that he still remembers, and you know it's again.
Speaker 1: You can tell it's genuine because it's it's an always
Speaker 1: thing when he does it. It's authentic. It's not some
Speaker 1: crazy pull through or anything like that. And then I think,
Speaker 1: the last thing that I always remember, and I'm not
Speaker 1: saying this is when everybody else should, but this is
Speaker 1: the one that's always worked for me, was I remember
Speaker 1: reading a book back in the nineties called Non Manipulative
Speaker 1: Selling by a guy named Tony Alessandra. I still remember it.
Speaker 1: The book itself was, but there was a chapter in
Speaker 1: the book about what he called the platinum rule, and
Speaker 1: I never forgot it. When I first meet somebody, I
Speaker 1: try to figure out where they fit on two scales
Speaker 1: pretty quickly. How direct is this person and how open
Speaker 1: are they? Are they really open or are they more
Speaker 1: self contained? Are they really direct or are they more indirect?
Speaker 1: And if I can figure that out pretty quickly, I
Speaker 1: can get a sense of how you view the world,
Speaker 1: and then I can meet your style where you are,
Speaker 1: because asking you to meet my style is crazy. Ay,
Speaker 1: you don't know it be you're the customer, not me,
Speaker 1: and it's not meant to be. You know. He talks
Speaker 1: about this. There's a really really great read. You can
Speaker 1: even find it on YouTube. You can look up the
Speaker 1: Platinum Rule, and it's like a forty five minute speech
Speaker 1: he gives and he talks about this idea that hey,
Speaker 1: be genuine, but meet the person where they are. Right.
Speaker 1: Over time you'll probably mesh a little bit of both
Speaker 1: of your personalities. But when you first meet somebody, meet
Speaker 1: them where they are. Make it easier for them to
Speaker 1: communicate with you. Meet their style. If someone isn't really
Speaker 1: open and you are, just you just got to pull
Speaker 1: back a little bit, that's all. Don't overwhelm them with
Speaker 1: that waterfall of personality that you might have for example. Right. So,
Speaker 1: those are two or three things that I either examples
Speaker 1: or things that I try to keep in mind. But
Speaker 1: when it's all said and down, for me, personally, building
Speaker 1: rapport is about me showing up with some genuine content
Speaker 1: that's valuable and showing up with some genuine concern for
Speaker 1: who you and your organization are. That comes across in
Speaker 1: how you show up and how you present yourself in
Speaker 1: the meeting. You know, or in the conversation. So there's
Speaker 1: my first four and a half minute monologue. That's good.
Speaker 3: Those are all good tangible things that we can put
Speaker 3: into practice today. Communication is a two way straight, right.
Speaker 3: It's about what you say, but it's also what you
Speaker 3: hear and how you listen. And we have a lot
Speaker 3: of content around the importance of listening. We all know
Speaker 3: how you say it, right, true, right.
Speaker 1: I was just on what we call an awareness webinar
Speaker 1: for a group of marketers and other folks in one
Speaker 1: of our clients, and we're just making them aware of
Speaker 1: the work we've done. And we were having this very
Speaker 1: conversation and as I said to them, well, somebody in
Speaker 1: those the group put in the chat as they were
Speaker 1: going through this with us. His kind of was, boy,
Speaker 1: it sure feels like this is as much about how
Speaker 1: you speak with clients versus what you say. And I said,
Speaker 1: you nailed it. People will remember how you made them feel,
Speaker 1: but they're not always going to remember what you said.
Speaker 1: That's a really good reminder for us that it's the
Speaker 1: how I make you feel, not just in one interaction,
Speaker 1: but in multiple interactions over time. That is what you're
Speaker 1: really going to remember. Not everything I told.
Speaker 3: You, right, And part of how you make somebody feel
Speaker 3: is your ability to listen to what they are saying.
Speaker 3: They want to feel like they are being heard, So
Speaker 3: that's also a great step to building rapport. Brian, what
Speaker 3: do you do to make sure that you listen?
Speaker 1: Well, okay, a couple things. I turn everything else off.
Speaker 1: I have to. I've got this mind that jumps left
Speaker 1: right up in me too mine, and so I do
Speaker 1: everything I can to shut down every other distraction. Right now,
Speaker 1: I have a Golden retriever who can't decide if she
Speaker 1: wants to go in er out, and that's distracting me
Speaker 1: a little bit, right, you just you got to do
Speaker 1: everything you can to turn those off. So the phone
Speaker 1: is on do not disturb, right. All of the apps
Speaker 1: on my laptop are closed. Right now, I write, and
Speaker 1: whether I'm on a zoom meeting, Like if I'm on
Speaker 1: a Zoom meeting, I'm holding up my little notebook and
Speaker 1: writing it and so the person sees that I'm writing, or
Speaker 1: if I'm in front of the client, I'm writing. You know,
Speaker 1: I know we have AI assistants and I love them.
Speaker 1: Like some of those AI downloads I get from zoom
Speaker 1: and stuff are terrific. But writing helps me stay in
Speaker 1: the moment. It proves that I'm listening. It helps me remember.
Speaker 1: You know, it's been proven that writing things as you're
Speaker 1: hearing them remember all of that. But then the other
Speaker 1: thing I do, Rachel is I constantly try to find
Speaker 1: a way to ask a follow up question based on
Speaker 1: what I just heard. I think that is the best
Speaker 1: piece of advice I can give people. When you ask
Speaker 1: a customer question and you hear them say something, force
Speaker 1: yourself to ask a follow up question based on what
Speaker 1: they just said, not the next question on your list. Right,
Speaker 1: That's the best thing I can think of.
Speaker 3: That's the art of conversation. Yeah, those AI summaries are great,
Speaker 3: and oh yeah they've saved me a lot post conversation,
Speaker 3: but it's hard to use that in the moment, right,
Speaker 3: Like you have to listen to the person so you
Speaker 3: can respond and use that for it.
Speaker 1: Now to that point, those who know are methodologies for example,
Speaker 1: commanded the message have c and IFS worked with me,
Speaker 1: know that I have a point of view on if
Speaker 1: I'm having a conversation with you. I'm keeping track of
Speaker 1: three distinct things in my notes I'm keeping track of
Speaker 1: the concept of collective before scenarios and negative consequences, right, challenges,
Speaker 1: I'm keeping track of the concept of collective after scenarios
Speaker 1: and positive business outcomes, and I'm keeping track of the
Speaker 1: collective content around required capabilities and metrics. That way, it's
Speaker 1: really easy for me instead of taking notes in linear fashion,
Speaker 1: that's real easy for me to play back what I'm
Speaker 1: hearing at any given time. Challenges, outcomes, required capabilities.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great tip. Lots of stuff here for us.
Speaker 3: This is going to be a good AI summary because
Speaker 3: a lot of tips here the conversation.
Speaker 1: You should probably take it and print it out and
Speaker 1: see and then catch it to the problem list.
Speaker 3: I want to talk a little bit about storytelling because
Speaker 3: a lot of people talk about storytelling. It's definitely an
Speaker 3: asset when you're trying to build rapport. We know that.
Speaker 3: I'm curious of how you view stories, case studies, those
Speaker 3: types of things experience with other customers, and how do
Speaker 3: you use them in conversation. Are you deliberate about it?
Speaker 3: Do you just kind of throw them out when it's
Speaker 3: there strikes you like? How do you view stories in
Speaker 3: your conversations?
Speaker 1: Yes? So a couple of things. I think as a
Speaker 1: seller in the selling motion, when you're newer in role,
Speaker 1: whatever role that might be, you've got to know the
Speaker 1: stories that you want to use, and you've got to
Speaker 1: have them in your hip pocket and be somewhat deliberate
Speaker 1: as to win them where you're going to use. But
Speaker 1: just like and I think this is a good tie
Speaker 1: into the concept of improv improvisation right from an improv perspective.
Speaker 1: Once you get good, the stories just start to come.
Speaker 1: That doesn't come without a lot of intentionality on the
Speaker 1: front end of this for some period of time. I
Speaker 1: do think there's a couple of things to keep in mind.
Speaker 1: One is, when you tell the story, you got to
Speaker 1: make sure you're telling the story in short order, don't
Speaker 1: turn it into a five minute long road to nowhere. Two,
Speaker 1: you got to make sure you're getting to the points
Speaker 1: of the story that matter for the person you're telling
Speaker 1: it to. So, for example, you know, when we talk
Speaker 1: about proof points, we talk about the customer's challenges are
Speaker 1: enabling solution and then the customer's outcomes. There are times
Speaker 1: when the enabling solution doesn't matter, especially like early in
Speaker 1: the sales cycle. It's more about what are the challenges
Speaker 1: we've helped other customers sink through, and what are the
Speaker 1: outcomes we've seen them achieve. The fact that you're telling
Speaker 1: that story already signals to the customer that you had
Speaker 1: an enabling solution. There comes a point where bopping in
Speaker 1: the enabling solution makes more sense. But think, really through
Speaker 1: who am I telling you the story to? What do
Speaker 1: they need to hear? What do I need them to
Speaker 1: get out of it? It's not about me talking about me.
Speaker 1: So there's that that I do think. There's also the
Speaker 1: ability or the reminder that as you're telling a story
Speaker 1: and I've done this, We've all I'm sure most of
Speaker 1: us have. I know I've done it. I've done it
Speaker 1: in talking to customers, I've done it and talking to
Speaker 1: clients where you start to tell a story and halfway
Speaker 1: through the story, there's this little voice of your head
Speaker 1: going why am I telling the story? You know you're talking,
Speaker 1: but at the same time, there's that voice in your
Speaker 1: head going where are you going with this?
Speaker 3: Land the plane?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Huh yeah, So you really have to be intentional
Speaker 1: about why am I telling you this story in this
Speaker 1: moment and what's what's the real objective I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get across here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that, to have an objective with a story.
Speaker 3: I think you mentioned too at the top, assessing a
Speaker 3: person whether there are super directs like how they view
Speaker 3: the world. And it's also pretty apparent early on in
Speaker 3: those conversations, even if you're doing your best to build rappoor,
Speaker 3: if you have somebody who is resisting you, who's not
Speaker 3: on board, how do you handle that skepticism or resistance
Speaker 3: in it conversation? What strategies do you use to build
Speaker 3: rapport with those? For lack of a better shurm, prickly folks, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, great, Well there's a lot here in unpacked. Let
Speaker 1: me try to do this quickly. One is you got
Speaker 1: to ask yourself, am I dealing with a skeptic or
Speaker 1: a cynic? And you've heard me talk about this before.
Speaker 1: Skeptics can be converted, Cynics cannot. Now I'm not saying
Speaker 1: you can always figure that out in one conversation, but
Speaker 1: that is something in the back of my head. Is
Speaker 1: this person up for this but they're just skeptical for
Speaker 1: whatever the reasons are? Or is this a cynic who's
Speaker 1: never going to change? So that's one thing constantly got
Speaker 1: in mind. Here's the other thing I think we have
Speaker 1: to become very comfortable with, which is because remember, a
Speaker 1: skeptic can be converted through action. A skeptic is a
Speaker 1: skeptic for the right reasons. Skeptics want to make sure
Speaker 1: that the things they're doing, the time they're spending is
Speaker 1: worth it won't change. So I think in either way,
Speaker 1: in either case, it's okay to try to get this
Speaker 1: out on the table. And here's one example of that,
Speaker 1: one example that I'm truly a believer in, is you
Speaker 1: have to have a very strong point of view on
Speaker 1: a couple of topics. One is one of the problems
Speaker 1: the business issues we solve. Two is who are the
Speaker 1: other people in an organization like the one I'm talking
Speaker 1: to that are going to be involved in these conversations
Speaker 1: over time? And I love that example. And here's why.
Speaker 1: When I think I'm in front of a skeptic or
Speaker 1: a cynic, and by the way, I'm doing this, whether
Speaker 1: i think I'm in front of a skeptic or cynic
Speaker 1: or not, but if I'm in front of one of
Speaker 1: these folks and I'm trying to figure out what they are,
Speaker 1: I'm going to get to the Listen, Rachel, when we're
Speaker 1: talking to someone like you, a cheap marketing officer inside
Speaker 1: of an organization, about what we do for a living
Speaker 1: and where we're relevant. These are the other five or
Speaker 1: six titles in your organization or other parts of the
Speaker 1: company that are going to be in part to this
Speaker 1: and helping you answer three big questions. Why should we
Speaker 1: do something like this now, who should we do it with?
Speaker 1: And how do we make it successful? Here's why those
Speaker 1: people should see you and I and here's why you
Speaker 1: should take me at the appropriate times. Who is missing?
Speaker 1: So I'm giving a point of view and then I'm
Speaker 1: asking you a question, right, And the reason I'm doing
Speaker 1: that is I'm as much as I'm trying to educate
Speaker 1: you and make sure that you know that I already
Speaker 1: know because I'm in these conversations six times a day
Speaker 1: with different clients, I'm also trying to figure out who
Speaker 1: are you. Are you somebody that's up for this, are
Speaker 1: you somebody that's going to try to resist this at
Speaker 1: every turn, or are you somewhere in the middle. So
Speaker 1: I think the way to handle the prickly personality is
Speaker 1: to have a point of view on something that's important
Speaker 1: in your process. For example, who are all the players
Speaker 1: and how do we make sure they're engaged and their
Speaker 1: voices get heart so that you're not asking that question
Speaker 1: and giving them another chance to keep you at bay.
Speaker 1: But you're putting on the table effect that I've already
Speaker 1: got expertise, so we're not going to play that game
Speaker 1: of oh, who's involved? I already know, and I'm using
Speaker 1: that as a way to validate, Well, who are you?
Speaker 1: Are you up for this? Are you not? Are you
Speaker 1: kind of squeamish? Are you ready to charge? Like? I
Speaker 1: think the way to handle the prickly personality is to
Speaker 1: have a point of view that matters, put it on
Speaker 1: the table and force them to tell you you're wrong.
Speaker 3: That's great. I mean building rapport is a lot easier
Speaker 3: with people who are open to what you have to say,
Speaker 3: a little bit more difficult when you're dealing with a skeptic.
Speaker 1: Right, So, what are we really doing. We're qualifying the
Speaker 1: person as much as we're qualifying the opportunity. And I
Speaker 1: think the other thing is building report is a hell
Speaker 1: of a lot easier when you have some credible information
Speaker 1: and some people would say, you know the guts to
Speaker 1: put it on the table. I'll say it differently, the
Speaker 1: preparation to put it on the table, because guts, like
Speaker 1: guts are meaningless if you're stupid. You know, bravery is
Speaker 1: not running ahead first into the battle without any preparation.
Speaker 1: So the idea is show up with a point of
Speaker 1: view that's well thought out and valid and brings credibility
Speaker 1: and some sort of true value, and you'll you'll find
Speaker 1: out very quickly is this someone worth trying to build
Speaker 1: report with?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I like it. Wrap us up with a final
Speaker 3: thought here, Brian, that was a pretty good one, But
Speaker 3: I know, I'm sure you have like a broader take away.
Speaker 1: For a word, report is not equal friendship. Rapport equals
Speaker 1: mutual respect.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 1: Now. It might lead to friendship, which is great, but
Speaker 1: in the end, it's mutual respect because in the end,
Speaker 1: every customer will revert back to their natural resting state
Speaker 1: when they're going to make a decision. So as good
Speaker 1: of friends as we are, if that's not what matters
Speaker 1: to you most, which more often than not is the case,
Speaker 1: you're going to revert back to your natural resting state
Speaker 1: in terms of how you make the decision. So it's
Speaker 1: the rapport and the mutual respect that we have for
Speaker 1: one another. That matters first.
Speaker 3: Brian Welsh, thank you, Mike Bleiser, right, and thank you
Speaker 3: to all of you for listening to the Audible Ready
Speaker 3: Sales podcast.
Speaker 4: At Force Management, we're focused on transforming sales organizations into
Speaker 4: elite teams. Our proven methodologies deliver programs that build company
Speaker 4: alignment and fuel repeatable revenue growth. Give your teams the
Speaker 4: ability to execute the growth strategy at the point of sale.
Speaker 4: Our strength is our experience. The proof is in our results.
Speaker 4: Let's get started. Visit us at forcemanagement dot com.
Speaker 2: You've been listening to the Audible Ready podcast. To not
Speaker 2: miss an episode, subscribe to the show in your favorite
Speaker 2: podcast player until next time.