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<v Speaker 1>First of all, you earn rapports just like trust right.

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<v Speaker 1>So rapport is not about the pithy saying or the

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<v Speaker 1>immediate one liner. Oh now, all of a sudden, we're

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<v Speaker 1>great friends. Rapport is about your ability to show that

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<v Speaker 1>you're credible and you're reliable and you're genuinely likable.

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<v Speaker 2>You're listening to the Audible Ready Podcast, the show that

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<v Speaker 2>helps you and your teams sell more faster. We'll feature

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<v Speaker 2>sales leaders sharing their best insights on how to create

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<v Speaker 2>a sales engine that helps you fuel repeatable revenue growth.

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<v Speaker 2>Presented by the team at Force Management, a leader in

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<v Speaker 2>B to B sales effectiveness. Let's get started.

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<v Speaker 3>Hello and welcome to the Audible Ready Sales Podcast. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>Rachel klapt Miller. Thanks for listening today, and today I

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<v Speaker 3>am joined by our own Brian Walsh.

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<v Speaker 1>Hi. Brian, Hi, Rachel.

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<v Speaker 3>So today we are going to talk about building rapport

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<v Speaker 3>and we all know we need to do it, but

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<v Speaker 3>what does that mean? So we're going to try to

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<v Speaker 3>give you some tangible ways to build rapport with your

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<v Speaker 3>prospects and your customers. I've talked to Brian a lot

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<v Speaker 3>about this topic. He's kind of a master at building

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<v Speaker 3>report and typically can boil it down to some great,

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<v Speaker 3>great tips. So Brian, let's dive in. Now that I've

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<v Speaker 3>set you up for success.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure everybody listening who knows me would agree with

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<v Speaker 1>what you just said.

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<v Speaker 3>No, you're good at that and helping us have the

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<v Speaker 3>right mindset when you start to engage somebody as a

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<v Speaker 3>salesperson in a business conversation, those initial impressions, the initial

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<v Speaker 3>conversations are critical. And I know we've talked a lot

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<v Speaker 3>about this before, but for our new listeners, what is

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<v Speaker 3>your mindset going into those initial conversations.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I thought about it before we got on the

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<v Speaker 1>call today to record this, and I thought, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's been a while, let me go back. So I

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<v Speaker 1>opened up my handed handy dictionary and I was reminded

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<v Speaker 1>of what rapport really is, and I think that might

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<v Speaker 1>be interesting place to start. It was, and the definition

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<v Speaker 1>that I wrote down was it's an understanding of each

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<v Speaker 1>other's feelings or ideas and the ability to communicate those

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<v Speaker 1>to each other. Well, and what I realized was not

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<v Speaker 1>in the definition was the word friendship. So what I

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<v Speaker 1>was reminded of was rapport is about mutual respect. Now

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<v Speaker 1>in the end, if we develop great rapport, you and

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<v Speaker 1>I both know there's a high likelihood we're going to

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<v Speaker 1>become friends. But I think in the selling and the

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<v Speaker 1>business conversation context, it was a good reminder of what

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<v Speaker 1>rapport really is meant to be. It's about mutual respect.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I like that phrasing. It reminds me my husband

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<v Speaker 3>always tells me, like when we've bought a car or

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<v Speaker 3>we're go into something, He's like, Rachel, these people are

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<v Speaker 3>not your friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well it's funny. I had a young

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<v Speaker 1>man stop at the front door recently, and he had

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<v Speaker 1>his company logo and literally a pest control company. And

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<v Speaker 1>I opened the door. Sometimes I just don't even bother

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<v Speaker 1>it open the door. But I opened the door and

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<v Speaker 1>immediately he says, oh, oh, well, I'm sure I'm talking

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<v Speaker 1>to the king of the castle. And I immediately wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to close the door to face, and you know a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of other pithy little one liners like that, And

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<v Speaker 1>I think the thing to remember is rapport is about,

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<v Speaker 1>first of all, you earn report just like trust, right,

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<v Speaker 1>So rapport is not about the pithy saying or the

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<v Speaker 1>immediate one liner. Oh now, all of a sudden, we're

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<v Speaker 1>great friends. Rapport is about your ability to show that

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<v Speaker 1>you're credible and you're reliable and you're genuinely likable as

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<v Speaker 1>a person from the moment you enter. So I think

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<v Speaker 1>there's a couple of things that I always go back

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<v Speaker 1>to that I've remembered. One is, and I learned this

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<v Speaker 1>from our friends at OURSA a number of years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought it was a great thing that they taught

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<v Speaker 1>their people three minutes and three things. Oh right, we

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<v Speaker 1>learned three things about someone in three minutes before you

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<v Speaker 1>go into a meeting. Now, it doesn't mean you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to use them all, and you know, it doesn't mean,

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<v Speaker 1>oh we both went to the same college, I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to throw that on the table when we first meet.

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<v Speaker 1>But I got those things the back of my head

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<v Speaker 1>as connection points that I can use in an appropriate fashion.

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<v Speaker 1>There's one another thing that I've always remembered that I

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<v Speaker 1>learned from Scott Rudy, who we met when he was

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<v Speaker 1>at Peycourt. Thank you, I thought, Scott and Scott to

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<v Speaker 1>this day, and I haven't talked to Scott in a while,

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<v Speaker 1>but Scott's to this day I know still does this.

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<v Speaker 1>When ever, Scott sends you an email, the first line

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<v Speaker 1>of that email will be something that's personal between you

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<v Speaker 1>and him that he still remembers, and you know it's again.

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<v Speaker 1>You can tell it's genuine because it's it's an always

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<v Speaker 1>thing when he does it. It's authentic. It's not some

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<v Speaker 1>crazy pull through or anything like that. And then I think,

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<v Speaker 1>the last thing that I always remember, and I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>saying this is when everybody else should, but this is

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<v Speaker 1>the one that's always worked for me, was I remember

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<v Speaker 1>reading a book back in the nineties called Non Manipulative

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<v Speaker 1>Selling by a guy named Tony Alessandra. I still remember it.

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<v Speaker 1>The book itself was, but there was a chapter in

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<v Speaker 1>the book about what he called the platinum rule, and

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<v Speaker 1>I never forgot it. When I first meet somebody, I

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<v Speaker 1>try to figure out where they fit on two scales

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<v Speaker 1>pretty quickly. How direct is this person and how open

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<v Speaker 1>are they? Are they really open or are they more

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<v Speaker 1>self contained? Are they really direct or are they more indirect?

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<v Speaker 1>And if I can figure that out pretty quickly, I

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<v Speaker 1>can get a sense of how you view the world,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I can meet your style where you are,

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<v Speaker 1>because asking you to meet my style is crazy. Ay,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't know it be you're the customer, not me,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's not meant to be. You know. He talks

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<v Speaker 1>about this. There's a really really great read. You can

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<v Speaker 1>even find it on YouTube. You can look up the

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<v Speaker 1>Platinum Rule, and it's like a forty five minute speech

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<v Speaker 1>he gives and he talks about this idea that hey,

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<v Speaker 1>be genuine, but meet the person where they are. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>Over time you'll probably mesh a little bit of both

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<v Speaker 1>of your personalities. But when you first meet somebody, meet

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<v Speaker 1>them where they are. Make it easier for them to

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<v Speaker 1>communicate with you. Meet their style. If someone isn't really

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<v Speaker 1>open and you are, just you just got to pull

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<v Speaker 1>back a little bit, that's all. Don't overwhelm them with

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<v Speaker 1>that waterfall of personality that you might have for example. Right. So,

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<v Speaker 1>those are two or three things that I either examples

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<v Speaker 1>or things that I try to keep in mind. But

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<v Speaker 1>when it's all said and down, for me, personally, building

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<v Speaker 1>rapport is about me showing up with some genuine content

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<v Speaker 1>that's valuable and showing up with some genuine concern for

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<v Speaker 1>who you and your organization are. That comes across in

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<v Speaker 1>how you show up and how you present yourself in

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<v Speaker 1>the meeting. You know, or in the conversation. So there's

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<v Speaker 1>my first four and a half minute monologue. That's good.

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<v Speaker 3>Those are all good tangible things that we can put

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<v Speaker 3>into practice today. Communication is a two way straight, right.

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<v Speaker 3>It's about what you say, but it's also what you

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<v Speaker 3>hear and how you listen. And we have a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of content around the importance of listening. We all know

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<v Speaker 3>how you say it, right, true, right.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just on what we call an awareness webinar

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<v Speaker 1>for a group of marketers and other folks in one

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<v Speaker 1>of our clients, and we're just making them aware of

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<v Speaker 1>the work we've done. And we were having this very

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<v Speaker 1>conversation and as I said to them, well, somebody in

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<v Speaker 1>those the group put in the chat as they were

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<v Speaker 1>going through this with us. His kind of was, boy,

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<v Speaker 1>it sure feels like this is as much about how

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<v Speaker 1>you speak with clients versus what you say. And I said,

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<v Speaker 1>you nailed it. People will remember how you made them feel,

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<v Speaker 1>but they're not always going to remember what you said.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a really good reminder for us that it's the

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<v Speaker 1>how I make you feel, not just in one interaction,

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<v Speaker 1>but in multiple interactions over time. That is what you're

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<v Speaker 1>really going to remember. Not everything I told.

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<v Speaker 3>You, right, And part of how you make somebody feel

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<v Speaker 3>is your ability to listen to what they are saying.

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<v Speaker 3>They want to feel like they are being heard, So

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<v Speaker 3>that's also a great step to building rapport. Brian, what

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<v Speaker 3>do you do to make sure that you listen?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, okay, a couple things. I turn everything else off.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to. I've got this mind that jumps left

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<v Speaker 1>right up in me too mine, and so I do

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<v Speaker 1>everything I can to shut down every other distraction. Right now,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a Golden retriever who can't decide if she

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<v Speaker 1>wants to go in er out, and that's distracting me

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit, right, you just you got to do

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<v Speaker 1>everything you can to turn those off. So the phone

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<v Speaker 1>is on do not disturb, right. All of the apps

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<v Speaker 1>on my laptop are closed. Right now, I write, and

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<v Speaker 1>whether I'm on a zoom meeting, Like if I'm on

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<v Speaker 1>a Zoom meeting, I'm holding up my little notebook and

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<v Speaker 1>writing it and so the person sees that I'm writing, or

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm in front of the client, I'm writing. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I know we have AI assistants and I love them.

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<v Speaker 1>Like some of those AI downloads I get from zoom

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff are terrific. But writing helps me stay in

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<v Speaker 1>the moment. It proves that I'm listening. It helps me remember.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's been proven that writing things as you're

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<v Speaker 1>hearing them remember all of that. But then the other

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<v Speaker 1>thing I do, Rachel is I constantly try to find

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<v Speaker 1>a way to ask a follow up question based on

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<v Speaker 1>what I just heard. I think that is the best

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<v Speaker 1>piece of advice I can give people. When you ask

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<v Speaker 1>a customer question and you hear them say something, force

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<v Speaker 1>yourself to ask a follow up question based on what

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<v Speaker 1>they just said, not the next question on your list. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>That's the best thing I can think of.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the art of conversation. Yeah, those AI summaries are great,

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<v Speaker 3>and oh yeah they've saved me a lot post conversation,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's hard to use that in the moment, right,

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<v Speaker 3>Like you have to listen to the person so you

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<v Speaker 3>can respond and use that for it.

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<v Speaker 1>Now to that point, those who know are methodologies for example,

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<v Speaker 1>commanded the message have c and IFS worked with me,

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<v Speaker 1>know that I have a point of view on if

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<v Speaker 1>I'm having a conversation with you. I'm keeping track of

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<v Speaker 1>three distinct things in my notes I'm keeping track of

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<v Speaker 1>the concept of collective before scenarios and negative consequences, right, challenges,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm keeping track of the concept of collective after scenarios

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<v Speaker 1>and positive business outcomes, and I'm keeping track of the

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<v Speaker 1>collective content around required capabilities and metrics. That way, it's

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<v Speaker 1>really easy for me instead of taking notes in linear fashion,

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<v Speaker 1>that's real easy for me to play back what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>hearing at any given time. Challenges, outcomes, required capabilities.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's a great tip. Lots of stuff here for us.

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<v Speaker 3>This is going to be a good AI summary because

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of tips here the conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>You should probably take it and print it out and

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<v Speaker 1>see and then catch it to the problem list.

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<v Speaker 3>I want to talk a little bit about storytelling because

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of people talk about storytelling. It's definitely an

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<v Speaker 3>asset when you're trying to build rapport. We know that.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm curious of how you view stories, case studies, those

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<v Speaker 3>types of things experience with other customers, and how do

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<v Speaker 3>you use them in conversation. Are you deliberate about it?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you just kind of throw them out when it's

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<v Speaker 3>there strikes you like? How do you view stories in

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<v Speaker 3>your conversations?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes? So a couple of things. I think as a

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<v Speaker 1>seller in the selling motion, when you're newer in role,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever role that might be, you've got to know the

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<v Speaker 1>stories that you want to use, and you've got to

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<v Speaker 1>have them in your hip pocket and be somewhat deliberate

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<v Speaker 1>as to win them where you're going to use. But

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<v Speaker 1>just like and I think this is a good tie

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<v Speaker 1>into the concept of improv improvisation right from an improv perspective.

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<v Speaker 1>Once you get good, the stories just start to come.

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<v Speaker 1>That doesn't come without a lot of intentionality on the

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<v Speaker 1>front end of this for some period of time. I

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<v Speaker 1>do think there's a couple of things to keep in mind.

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<v Speaker 1>One is, when you tell the story, you got to

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<v Speaker 1>make sure you're telling the story in short order, don't

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<v Speaker 1>turn it into a five minute long road to nowhere. Two,

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<v Speaker 1>you got to make sure you're getting to the points

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<v Speaker 1>of the story that matter for the person you're telling

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<v Speaker 1>it to. So, for example, you know, when we talk

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<v Speaker 1>about proof points, we talk about the customer's challenges are

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<v Speaker 1>enabling solution and then the customer's outcomes. There are times

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<v Speaker 1>when the enabling solution doesn't matter, especially like early in

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<v Speaker 1>the sales cycle. It's more about what are the challenges

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<v Speaker 1>we've helped other customers sink through, and what are the

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<v Speaker 1>outcomes we've seen them achieve. The fact that you're telling

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<v Speaker 1>that story already signals to the customer that you had

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<v Speaker 1>an enabling solution. There comes a point where bopping in

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<v Speaker 1>the enabling solution makes more sense. But think, really through

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<v Speaker 1>who am I telling you the story to? What do

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<v Speaker 1>they need to hear? What do I need them to

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<v Speaker 1>get out of it? It's not about me talking about me.

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<v Speaker 1>So there's that that I do think. There's also the

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<v Speaker 1>ability or the reminder that as you're telling a story

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<v Speaker 1>and I've done this, We've all I'm sure most of

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<v Speaker 1>us have. I know I've done it. I've done it

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<v Speaker 1>in talking to customers, I've done it and talking to

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<v Speaker 1>clients where you start to tell a story and halfway

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<v Speaker 1>through the story, there's this little voice of your head

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<v Speaker 1>going why am I telling the story? You know you're talking,

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<v Speaker 1>but at the same time, there's that voice in your

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<v Speaker 1>head going where are you going with this?

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<v Speaker 3>Land the plane?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Huh yeah, So you really have to be intentional

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<v Speaker 1>about why am I telling you this story in this

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<v Speaker 1>moment and what's what's the real objective I'm trying to

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<v Speaker 1>get across here.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I like that, to have an objective with a story.

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<v Speaker 3>I think you mentioned too at the top, assessing a

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<v Speaker 3>person whether there are super directs like how they view

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<v Speaker 3>the world. And it's also pretty apparent early on in

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<v Speaker 3>those conversations, even if you're doing your best to build rappoor,

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<v Speaker 3>if you have somebody who is resisting you, who's not

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<v Speaker 3>on board, how do you handle that skepticism or resistance

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<v Speaker 3>in it conversation? What strategies do you use to build

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<v Speaker 3>rapport with those? For lack of a better shurm, prickly folks, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, great, Well there's a lot here in unpacked. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me try to do this quickly. One is you got

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<v Speaker 1>to ask yourself, am I dealing with a skeptic or

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<v Speaker 1>a cynic? And you've heard me talk about this before.

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<v Speaker 1>Skeptics can be converted, Cynics cannot. Now I'm not saying

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<v Speaker 1>you can always figure that out in one conversation, but

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<v Speaker 1>that is something in the back of my head. Is

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<v Speaker 1>this person up for this but they're just skeptical for

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<v Speaker 1>whatever the reasons are? Or is this a cynic who's

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<v Speaker 1>never going to change? So that's one thing constantly got

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<v Speaker 1>in mind. Here's the other thing I think we have

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<v Speaker 1>to become very comfortable with, which is because remember, a

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<v Speaker 1>skeptic can be converted through action. A skeptic is a

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<v Speaker 1>skeptic for the right reasons. Skeptics want to make sure

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<v Speaker 1>that the things they're doing, the time they're spending is

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<v Speaker 1>worth it won't change. So I think in either way,

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<v Speaker 1>in either case, it's okay to try to get this

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<v Speaker 1>out on the table. And here's one example of that,

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<v Speaker 1>one example that I'm truly a believer in, is you

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<v Speaker 1>have to have a very strong point of view on

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of topics. One is one of the problems

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<v Speaker 1>the business issues we solve. Two is who are the

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<v Speaker 1>other people in an organization like the one I'm talking

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<v Speaker 1>to that are going to be involved in these conversations

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<v Speaker 1>over time? And I love that example. And here's why.

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<v Speaker 1>When I think I'm in front of a skeptic or

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<v Speaker 1>a cynic, and by the way, I'm doing this, whether

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<v Speaker 1>i think I'm in front of a skeptic or cynic

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<v Speaker 1>or not, but if I'm in front of one of

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<v Speaker 1>these folks and I'm trying to figure out what they are,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to get to the Listen, Rachel, when we're

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<v Speaker 1>talking to someone like you, a cheap marketing officer inside

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<v Speaker 1>of an organization, about what we do for a living

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<v Speaker 1>and where we're relevant. These are the other five or

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<v Speaker 1>six titles in your organization or other parts of the

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<v Speaker 1>company that are going to be in part to this

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<v Speaker 1>and helping you answer three big questions. Why should we

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<v Speaker 1>do something like this now, who should we do it with?

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<v Speaker 1>And how do we make it successful? Here's why those

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<v Speaker 1>people should see you and I and here's why you

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<v Speaker 1>should take me at the appropriate times. Who is missing?

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm giving a point of view and then I'm

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<v Speaker 1>asking you a question, right, And the reason I'm doing

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<v Speaker 1>that is I'm as much as I'm trying to educate

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<v Speaker 1>you and make sure that you know that I already

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<v Speaker 1>know because I'm in these conversations six times a day

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<v Speaker 1>with different clients, I'm also trying to figure out who

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<v Speaker 1>are you. Are you somebody that's up for this, are

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<v Speaker 1>you somebody that's going to try to resist this at

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<v Speaker 1>every turn, or are you somewhere in the middle. So

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<v Speaker 1>I think the way to handle the prickly personality is

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<v Speaker 1>to have a point of view on something that's important

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<v Speaker 1>in your process. For example, who are all the players

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<v Speaker 1>and how do we make sure they're engaged and their

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<v Speaker 1>voices get heart so that you're not asking that question

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<v Speaker 1>and giving them another chance to keep you at bay.

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<v Speaker 1>But you're putting on the table effect that I've already

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<v Speaker 1>got expertise, so we're not going to play that game

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<v Speaker 1>of oh, who's involved? I already know, and I'm using

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<v Speaker 1>that as a way to validate, Well, who are you?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you up for this? Are you not? Are you

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<v Speaker 1>kind of squeamish? Are you ready to charge? Like? I

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<v Speaker 1>think the way to handle the prickly personality is to

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<v Speaker 1>have a point of view that matters, put it on

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<v Speaker 1>the table and force them to tell you you're wrong.

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<v Speaker 3>That's great. I mean building rapport is a lot easier

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<v Speaker 3>with people who are open to what you have to say,

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<v Speaker 3>a little bit more difficult when you're dealing with a skeptic.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, So, what are we really doing. We're qualifying the

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<v Speaker 1>person as much as we're qualifying the opportunity. And I

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<v Speaker 1>think the other thing is building report is a hell

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<v Speaker 1>of a lot easier when you have some credible information

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<v Speaker 1>and some people would say, you know the guts to

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<v Speaker 1>put it on the table. I'll say it differently, the

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<v Speaker 1>preparation to put it on the table, because guts, like

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<v Speaker 1>guts are meaningless if you're stupid. You know, bravery is

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<v Speaker 1>not running ahead first into the battle without any preparation.

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<v Speaker 1>So the idea is show up with a point of

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<v Speaker 1>view that's well thought out and valid and brings credibility

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<v Speaker 1>and some sort of true value, and you'll you'll find

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<v Speaker 1>out very quickly is this someone worth trying to build

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<v Speaker 1>report with?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? I like it. Wrap us up with a final

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<v Speaker 3>thought here, Brian, that was a pretty good one, But

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<v Speaker 3>I know, I'm sure you have like a broader take away.

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<v Speaker 1>For a word, report is not equal friendship. Rapport equals

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<v Speaker 1>mutual respect.

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<v Speaker 3>That's it.

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<v Speaker 1>Now. It might lead to friendship, which is great, but

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<v Speaker 1>in the end, it's mutual respect because in the end,

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<v Speaker 1>every customer will revert back to their natural resting state

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<v Speaker 1>when they're going to make a decision. So as good

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<v Speaker 1>of friends as we are, if that's not what matters

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<v Speaker 1>to you most, which more often than not is the case,

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to revert back to your natural resting state

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<v Speaker 1>in terms of how you make the decision. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>the rapport and the mutual respect that we have for

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<v Speaker 1>one another. That matters first.

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<v Speaker 3>Brian Welsh, thank you, Mike Bleiser, right, and thank you

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<v Speaker 3>to all of you for listening to the Audible Ready

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<v Speaker 3>Sales podcast.

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<v Speaker 4>At Force Management, we're focused on transforming sales organizations into

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<v Speaker 4>elite teams. Our proven methodologies deliver programs that build company

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<v Speaker 4>alignment and fuel repeatable revenue growth. Give your teams the

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<v Speaker 4>ability to execute the growth strategy at the point of sale.

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<v Speaker 4>Our strength is our experience. The proof is in our results.

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<v Speaker 4>Let's get started. Visit us at forcemanagement dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>You've been listening to the Audible Ready podcast. To not

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<v Speaker 2>miss an episode, subscribe to the show in your favorite

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