Speaker 1: Kawle's biggest crime is getting home, not going in the jacuzzi,
and instead playing an acoustic guitar as though he is
some kind of fucking Ryan Cabrera. I'm sorry. On the
way down, I saw you and I want you off
the fucking show.
Speaker 2: Okay, my god.
Speaker 1: Hi loan. Welcome to another brand spanking episode of another
Blowdeck podcast aka bad TV. This is bad TV. I'm Dylan.
That's Pat.
Speaker 2: Back in the studio.
Speaker 1: Back in the studio. My, what nice chairs you have?
Speaker 2: Kaylin's dad bottom, Oh.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Kaylen's dad. Michael Bean the terminator.
Speaker 2: He no, he wasn't the terminal.
Speaker 1: I'll be back, so I'll listen. Five stars, kind words.
We got a one star, brutal one star review that
I wanted to discuss. Oh no, but before we do that,
we have had what do you say, many tidings? What
is that? People say? Tidings? What's tighting?
Speaker 2: I have no idea. You don't know, Okay, you old
tightings like Christmas? Good tidings for you? No, no, no, no,
I gotta tell you. I mean we have our phones.
We could look it up.
Speaker 1: Now, let's not. I feel so good to be back
in here looking at your goofy face. You know what
I'm talking about, handsome face, but you're a total goofball,
you know. Patrick and I.
Speaker 2: Sorry to go ahead, Dylan telling me in reupt you
fucking motherfucker risk goddamn fucking might stare out.
Speaker 1: Okay. So Patrick and I were discussing the birth of
Lucy and how she is about a seven out of
ten on the difficulty scale, and Patrick said that, you know,
ten out ten on the difficulty scale would be like
if you were born without a head. Okay, And we
had a discussion about that. If you want to hear
that discussion about that, go to patreon dot com. Slash
another podcast network. Lots of fun, baby stuff, lots of fun,
just a bunch of.
Speaker 2: And don't worry, it's the podcast isn't going to turn
into My Two Dads, which is a great name for
a show. By the way, Yeah, this week, because I'm
on the other end of it, I'm dealing with parents now, okay,
you're just dealing with a crying infant. I got a
deal and navigate through all the difficult relationships of people.
You go to birthday parties, You're like, do I get
to know this guy? Our kids could switch schools in
two months and I'll never talk to him again. Why
am I even wasting my time? So we got a
good I got a good story for the next aps.
We're hosting swim lessons every Sunday here and people aren't
behaving themselves.
Speaker 1: Do the kids try to drown each other?
Speaker 2: Well, they don't go in the pool together. They go
with a swim teacher. Oh okay, she's a piece of work.
I'll tell you that, right, yeah, real bit huh oh yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: And she's one of those old kind of principal TRENCHI
bowl kind of lady.
Speaker 2: She's crunchy, she's rough around the edge of yeh, she's
grown on me, I'll smoke. I bet she did in
a probably after her third or fourth marriage, because she
seems like one of those.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but.
Speaker 2: Anyway, she gets under a lot of the parents' skin.
And we have this parent. I can't wait to share
this story. Who uh the husband overheard me talking about
the swim lessons at some function. Anyway, he got himself here.
He lingers all day with his goddamn kid. You're supposed
to come do your swim lessons, socialize for about thirty
minutes and get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Not only does he do the lingering and the socializing,
he made a mistake on Sunday of mentioning that his
son it was his birthday party the coming week and
there was no invite for Elliott, And boy did that
piss my wife off? What there's there's a lot of
politics on your all right, all right.
Speaker 1: We're going to get into the whole thing that is bananas.
You're gonna linger at my house and not invite my
daughter to your son's. I don't even want to go
to your son's.
Speaker 2: That's what my wife saw. I don't even like you,
she said that, are you my wife?
Speaker 1: Okay, so listen patroon dot com Slash another podcast network.
The one star review has to do with the amount
of ads we have in the show, which, like I'm
always like, what kind of psycho loes the one star review?
But that is actually a very helpful one. If there
are too many ads in the show, you know this
these distribution platforms, they're like, well, well so I don't know.
Speaker 2: How to just start kicking off. Let's kick it off.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no no, I don't want to
dignify it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to dignify it, but I'm going to
be obsessing over this review the entire show, and I
don't want to do that. I want to get it
out of the way, like hearing bad news first.
Speaker 1: All right, well I will say, would you be done
with that?
Speaker 2: These people they screw with this podcast.
Speaker 1: Jesus christ Man. All right, we'll get into blow deck
in a second. This has not been great so far,
but it's our first show back, you know, just give
us a break. Okay. It's from Blessed Beyond. Very off putting.
Speaker 2: Okay, so that's about us, all right, So obviously this
isn't going to work out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, one star. If you enjoy a group of
people demeaning police officers doing their jobs protecting their communities
by arresting redneck criminals, drug sellers, and addicts pigs, this
is the podcast for you. That doesn't That wasn't even
Oh there's there's two one star reviews. That was another
one starry Okay, sorry, sorry, just end the podcast. This
is from Mike buff one start. This podcast has gone downhill.
There's so many ads and commercials for a thirty minute
podcasts where zero effort was given. Now I will I
will concede on the lat I will concede that there
is zero effort. I will one. But if there are
too many ads in the show, I'll take a look
at it and we'll reel back on that, because I
don't want people to have to listen to seven Pachonka
casino and resort ads. You know, now, now you have
an opportunity to buy one tenth of a Superman comic.
It's like, now, no one's going to get that. You're
just ripping people.
Speaker 2: So did you read the Addy just said wasted time?
It's gone downhill to me?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh okay, all right, well look we can get better.
But before we do, I have a wonderful company for
you guys. You guys need to take a look at
this happens to be a barnacle. Okay. Her name is
Averil Okay, so it's spelled A V E R I
l Averall okay. And Avril Berner is the company. And
she does she creates custom one off acrylic pett portraits
and from photographs. And she sent me one of Jackie. Yeah,
and she sent Dylan one of Dot Precious Dot. Now
Dylan hasn't gotten his yet. But trust me, no, no, no,
I know you probably wouldn't like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, but let me tell you because we love our fans,
but I just don't want I don't want people knowing
my address. I understood, because Averril is probably great. But
what if she's got some kind of friend who's like, goddamn,
I don't know one of these uh, one of these
unibomber characters. You know everybody's got one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's some crazy I know what I'm talking about.
All right, So go to Averril burner dot com. Okay,
because this is a great gift for yourself or.
Speaker 1: A loved one. Amazing. If this, this painting of dot
is so fucking cute, I can't even My wife is
gonna cry, literally cry.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I'll say this about Averrils because I looked
at her website. Whatever the animal, she'll paint it. If
you're a weirdo and you have some kind of insect
as a pet, she'll use those magical brushes to give
you a forever keepsake so you can always remember your pet.
Mike the millipede long after he shriveled up dead in
that prison you call the terrarium anyway, order order.
Speaker 1: Think about a millipede that's a thousand legs. Think about
how disgusting that is. That's who I was talking about,
not wanting to have my address. What kind of fucking
fuck owns up a pet a weirdo?
Speaker 2: But if you are a weirdo, she'll still paint your
weird Yeah, she's not prejudiced. No, no, no, So order one
today at Avril Burner dot com.
Speaker 1: Okay, what was that review saying we were making fun
of the pigs or some shit like that. No clue,
no clue. All right, let's jump into it's below deck.
It is episode something of this twelfth season of the show.
Chiao is terminated.
Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, don't don't get us another one star.
I can't believe I listened to this podcast and they
give away like spoilers right at the top. Hey, idiot,
it's called a recap show.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I won't put it in the title. I
won't I do that A lot, I go I go kao,
got Chao, you will be missed choo. Yeah, so I
won't do that. And that's a grete that I think
is earned. Okay, as well as the low effort. As
we've discussed. I mean, but I will say to Levy
low effort to a podcast is like, oh yeah, are
you kidding me?
Speaker 2: I've done the last four shows in my underwear.
Speaker 1: What do you think people get into podcasting?
Speaker 2: It's like, we can't make it anywhere else.
Speaker 1: It's like going up to a gas station attendant being like,
you know, there's a there's a little Jenna Sequa missing
from this. It's like, you know, can you like pap
it up a little bit? Like what are you talking about?
Jesus Christ? Okay, So I thought this episode was fine.
I thought it was a kind of early middle of
a Below Deck season.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's always good when someone gets fired
or you see the build up to it. I definitely
am going to add ten knots to the score.
Speaker 1: We did have sa rat fucking we did. That's that's
a kind of like we have to get that diagonal
on the Bengo Park taken care of. So gotake that
taken care of it.
Speaker 2: I can't wait till Kyle has sex with a charter
guess yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, And so like bravo to Kyle
and Love Island. That was a lot of fun. Other
than that, really hated the episode two pots.
Speaker 2: Really Oh, I can't wait to go over dinner with
you or the lunch or whatever. Yeah, all right, yeah,
decent episode. Damo is getting lost in the fray. I
want to shout out to the Barnacle that did the
side by side with Cody from Sister Wives. A lot
of people agreed. He does, in fact look like the
doppelganger of Cody from Sister Wives. Damo, that is okay,
he's getting lost. He's like useless on the show. Ko
really didn't want to be here.
Speaker 1: Which is sad because I feel like dame oaka Cody
from Sister Wives is And did you ever watch Big Love? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Chloe Savon, Chloe Savon, didn't she play one of
his wives?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Bill Paxson gone far too soon?
Speaker 1: Okay, he's dead. He's dead, no no way, Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: I really liked slime Blob in Weird Science. He was
great in that.
Speaker 1: Chet Olivia Newton John's dead too.
Speaker 2: She's dead. We cover that in the last PMC James Earl.
Speaker 1: Jones, Yeah, he's dead dead. Sultan of BRUNEI, I don't know.
I think probably the first one was pretty much dead.
Oh yeah, right, am I still in mynd actually to
see him.
Speaker 2: Go okay, my not's my notts Okay Yeah, Rainbow and
her like descent into madness is kind of sure.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on there.
Speaker 2: There were three separate scenes where she made attempts to
connect with Ole Sole didn't work out for her.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I love.
Speaker 2: Carrie like just despite being on camera losing a ship
calling everybody idiots.
Speaker 1: Oh you fuck an idiot. Now it turns out that
it's actually you can do a reparable damage to children's
social skills when you arm them with machetes and tell
them to kill their siblings on Fight Island, Because when
that happens, you know, you really don't know how to
vibe out with other people navigate the world.
Speaker 2: So what Dylan's referring to as Rainbow and why she
can't connect with people or girls right right? Well, yeah,
because she killed her sister.
Speaker 1: She cut her sister in half.
Speaker 2: One of her sister she took out with a trident,
the other one with a crossbow, and true the other one.
Speaker 1: She set up some elaborate Rube Goldberg booby trap and
literally blew her limbs off.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you when you use a bow and
arrow and the arrow has fire on it and you
watch your siblings, that would that would affect most of us, and.
Speaker 1: And and and then the cherry on top, surviving the
gauntlet and having your dad pat you on the back
after and say something like I knew it was gonna
be you, like you're always my favorite one. It's like,
oh god, everyone's dead, Like, what are we doing celebrating?
Speaker 2: Well, you made it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Fuck many she's messed up?
Speaker 2: Yeah all right, ten knots.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So last we left off, Chua was over his head,
Anthony is trying to was trying to kill people with fish,
kill gaze with fish, and Kyle is slopping up Love Island. Okay,
so that's where we begin, with Kyle saying that it's
been a year since he's felt like this for someone.
When did these fucking sea rats? I mean, can't you really?
Do you really? You're getting tricked into the novelty of this.
I mean, what are you? Kyle? You know what? I
after having a daughter, I don't freaking judge anybody anymore.
I don't I don't judge anybody.
Speaker 2: I do a lot of judge So what you're referring to,
Dylan is the scene where Old Life and Kyle they're
sitting on the front of the boat and they're reflecting
on that beautiful night of making love. Right and sorry,
that's right. No, that's why he throws out there to her.
He's like, yeah, that kiss was pretty good, but you know,
could have been a little better. And I knieve that
young man was referring to having sex totally totally at
the very least peeing in his butt or something.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, And can I ask that we retire
that you want to retire that just because of the
kind Now, Now, love is love, and if you want
to get kinky with somebody, let's say you want to
fold somebody over the other way, you know, kind of
like a fucking contortionist. You want to have your way
with their I don't know, feet or whatever, go ahead,
but we don't need to be you know, vile about it.
Speaker 2: And actually and reflecting on what I propose there Ole
sol a ping in his butt, I think.
Speaker 1: That, uh, it's a nightmare.
Speaker 2: Many of Newton's loss it's gravity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a little bit like Trump saying grab them
by the pussy. It's like it's locker room talk, but
it's also just weird, like how would that work?
Speaker 2: You know, if anybody can pull it off? It's these two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, totally yeah, these two love birds, these two
crazy love birds. I haven't felt like this in a year. Hey, Kyle,
get out of here. The prize for their ship tip
from the Stingy Gaze is a half day off, so
we hit brunch now. Rainbow has a tough time with women,
beca because of the Hunger Games, as we've discussed, having
to wield the machetes and cod your sisters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Dylan, if I may, just because I think you
may have glossed over it, but it was very important
for old Patty. And Frasier makes it clear that he
did not cheat on his boy friend.
Speaker 1: Yes, that that was made clear by Fraser because he
kissed a straight man. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now, I'd love to pull this logic off. Now get ready? Okay, Okay,
I make out with a super hot girl, but she's
a lesbian. Try explaining that to your wife. Yeah, I
don't think it was.
Speaker 1: And also, Damo's not a straight guy. Demo's fluid.
Speaker 2: He's fluid.
Speaker 1: Okay, he's flu so.
Speaker 2: I think we just need to just call this generation
of kids fluid, like do we need totay, we're fluid.
That means I'm open for anything. Hey, look at that
toilet paper roll.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, look at that. You got
a German shepherd with hip displasia. Who am I to judge?
Toss it in me? Just be careful because I know
that you're a little rickety down there, you know what
I mean? Tell you what you on your back? I mean,
what the fuck are these kids getting into? But no judgment? Okay,
absolutely not all right, So Brazil is the best city
in the world for tourism, Chow says, uh, I don't know.
I've heard there's a lot of surly stuff going on
down in Brazil. I think you can get shived or something.
Speaker 2: I think there's some other countries that are worse. I
believe he was explaining the horrors of a constitutional republic.
Speaker 1: What are you talking about Brazil's political system? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Now till you were skipping over so much, no wonder
these episodes are twenty two minutes.
Speaker 1: Okay, no, no, no, I'm not skipping over a damn thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, do we get to the point where we start
ordering at brunch and Fraser suggests a wonderful game team
building exercise called tell tell the other person next to
you what you hate about that?
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't get that.
Speaker 2: You didn't see that?
Speaker 1: No, I didn't see that.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, awesome. You know, we had that corporate exercises
at North American Insurance, and I really wish they would
have used this one, because what I said, Hey, what
do you hate about Susan pat Well, I don't like
that she brings tuna fish sandwiches to work. Ever, it
makes her cubicle smell. Yeah, and I hate you for that, Susan. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
And then we would have hugged and cried and there
would have been a bonding momental.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, I've been through one of those. And
that's when I worked at Language Access Network, which was
a healthcare company and a technology company all in one.
And it was out in Manhattan Beach, and there's a
food desert out in Manhattan Beach. Those people are I mean,
it's really all you can eat in Manhattan Beach is
savice and whatever you can eat in Ohio. So it's
like Panda Express and fucking Shaky's and shit like that. Anyways,
we're doing a tennis ball thing, right, bounce in the
tennis ball to this person, this person, And famously, infamously
this was the company where I said, you know, I'm
not really feeling this and I thought they would give
me as much time as I needed to either feel
it or not feel it. And I can't back in
on Monday and they were like, you're fired. This is
who you're gonna be training. I was like, what is
happening right now? This is bullshit? Okay, So anyways, this
is okay. So the rape brunch.
Speaker 2: This is a great brunch and it actually doesn't go
as bad as I thought it would. But Rainbow looks
at Ole and Barbara and she's disgusted by them being friends. Yeah,
on the on the account that she fatally wounded both
their sisters in a game of blood and survive.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell ya, you know, you fuck around with
a lady who survived a gauntlet of the most dangerous game,
you might get skewered. All I'm saying is they need
to turn on a frequency that matches hers a little
bit lest they be fucking killed. I mean, you saw
what happened to the folks in Carrie's township. You know
what I mean, Pour pig blood on her and see
what happens. You're gonna get lit on fucking five. Oh yeah, okay,
God damn it.
Speaker 2: Now. I do want to say this about Rainbow to
be fair. She she's caught my interest. She's a different archetype.
She could light the boat on fire.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh yeah, I mean, this boat could
look like the end of a James Bond movie.
Speaker 2: I'd be curious to see if there's a love interest
this season for her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, Me too, I went. I wonder who
whoever is going to replace Chihuau is going to be? Uh?
I mean, who knows? We love the Carousel of.
Speaker 2: Seret Well, you know I like to keep a secret.
Speaker 1: No, don't say anything about it. You shut up about it.
Speaker 2: Fine, I love a secret.
Speaker 1: I know you love a secret. But the thing about
your love of secrets is that you have to shed
it very very quickly. That's how much you love it.
Speaker 2: That's right, right, I can't keep this.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a like a like a player
saying I love you so much. That's why I have
to not be with you anymore. I have to let
you go, And one could ask, is that love? Well?
Speaker 2: You you let that person go and they come back
to you. It's meant to be.
Speaker 1: The sea rats. Well not if you say I don't
welcome you back. I love you too much, please go away?
You know what I mean? Okay, so the sea rats
get back to the boat and immediately get to work.
This was the reward A fucking breakfast, a brunch. Yeah,
my god, Love Island felt Kyle's cock while kissing, and
now she is peaud Okay, because I don't know. If
you're a lady and you feel like disclosing this in
the comments, you can. But I wonder how granular an
experience it is, Like how clear is the picture? You know,
you're making out with a guy, something brushes up against you.
Can you tell specifically how big it is?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh well I don't know how big it is,
but definitely.
Speaker 1: Well what would what else would you tell? Just if
he has a dick?
Speaker 2: I think so?
Speaker 1: And it was hard okay, but he's like, but what
I'm saying is I think Love Island Slaine Sirk to
Slaine was like, I think he's got a double barrel
down there, and that's why she got that's.
Speaker 2: For a cock, right, terrified?
Speaker 1: Right? Okay, you know the Scottish. I mean, listen, I
don't think they're known for that at all. You don't
think they're known for that.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, they're like us, don't they're Irish?
Speaker 1: Oh really? Yea?
Speaker 2: God punished us all, you know.
Speaker 1: I think I was. I was. I thought it's something
I found, like I think I've brought this up before though,
but I think it was the Scottish or the Irish
they invented whiskey and then they didn't invent a single
thing for another like five centuries or something like that.
When you're just sitting around drinking and fucking punching people,
I would imagine that. I mean, I don't know Darwin stuff.
I don't know how long it takes, but maybe your
dicks can get collectively bigger over that long. I don't know.
You think, should we move on?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: Let's move yea. And I want to apologize to you
and everyone listening for that conversation. Rainbow is feeling alone
because she can't because she can be a kind of
a hard person, and we cut back to her panic
attack days later. Love Island doesn't like Rainbow. Because Rainbow,
in attempts to Corey Faber and strike up friendships, launches
into improptuo English languages or English lessons to someone who
already speaks English.
Speaker 2: Pretty condescending.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, and I don't think that she means for
it to be condescending. I just don't understand what the
origin of it is. Like, maybe it's just a panic.
I don't, I don't, I don't know what it is,
but it's definitely soft room shit.
Speaker 2: Well, Ola, so she's the she's a smarty pant. Yeah yeah, yeah,
she's playing this wonderfully.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. Now we get to watch the
swing the yeah, yes.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes. K does not communicate well while the
boat swings, and Carrie begins calling him an idiot.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He calls Chiuau a fucking idiot. I mean probably
seventeen eighteen nineteen times this episode.
Speaker 2: Okay, So this is something I'm sorry to keep referencing
North American Insurance. It was my only corporate America corporate
experience in my lifetime. One thing I noticed with supervisors
you never wanted to get on their radar. You wanted
to slide by, just be the mediocre worker. You don't
bother anybody. You don't cause any problems because once you're
on a supervisor or a manager's radar.
Speaker 1: They've made up their mind.
Speaker 2: Well, now the little things that you did become tense.
So what would have been a one of maybe not
lowering that fender as quickly as possible, Now that's a
goddamn ten and carry.
Speaker 1: It's such a good point because when you're working with
sea rats, they invariably will put everyone's life at risk.
I mean numerous times throughout a season. If it's not
a compilation of things, no big deal. You know, we
have one of these conversations in the in the bridge
about how we need to focus and make the most
of this and stuff like that. But then we move
on and everybody could have died, but we just move on,
you know what I mean. Chowow is not being called
like a fucking idiot like seventeen eighteen nineteen times an episode.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm I'm torn with him because I don't
know if he's as incompetent as he's being portrayed. And
also he's not a scumbag. He's a bores fuck to
watch on television. Yeah, but given our past, experiences with Bosn's.
You might have want to give him a pass just
because he's not prepared to sexually assault someone.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he wasn't trying to literally rape someone, so
that's that's good. But I would say that what's his name?
Speaker 2: Ko?
Speaker 1: Okay? Okay wow, kawao okay ko. Someone wrote this in
our in our comments, and I'm so grateful. But Kwole's
biggest crime he is getting home, not going in the jacuzzi,
and instead playing an acoustic guitar as though he is
some kind of fucking Ryan Cabrera. I'm sorry. On the
way down, I saw you and I want you off
the fucking show. Okay, my god, wow, I'm so.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you brought up Ryan because he's so relevant.
Well definitely, Hey, sorry, I break in here with one
of those annoying ad reads.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh, you know how you haven't slept for three and
a half weeks? Yeah yeah, yeah, Well I have a
company for you that could change all that.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a company called Loomy.
Speaker 1: Oh I love Loomy.
Speaker 2: Oh so do I because it's an edibles company. Just
to get that out front there, and they make you
feel good and they don't make you feel too high,
because old Patty has experienced that. One time I'm at
a house party, someone hands me some weed, I'm smoking it.
The next thing, I'm staring at this guy fixated on
him across for me, and I'm like, I think that
guy's a goddamn serial killer. But he wasn't right. It
was just that I was paranoid and really really hot.
Speaker 1: Or how about that time you did that one thing
with a company that is not a sponsor of this show,
but it was like way too strong you ended up
in Okay, let's see this. Pat is enjoying himself at
the party. One second, someone's like, hey, do you want
this gummy? He goes how many milligrams? They go, what?
Too many? And then cut two two hours later, Pat
is in his his Dodge seventy two Dodge, and he's
in a person's living room but still in the car.
The kids are crying, the husband's like insurance, insurance, and
the cops are there, and.
Speaker 2: Pat's like, I don't know, I don't know how I
got here.
Speaker 1: I know how this happened.
Speaker 2: But Loomy is not like any of that, and that's
what's so great about him. Yeah, consistent, mellow, and super delicious.
Loomy Gummy's are specifically designed to make you feel good,
not stoned, whether you're looking for an end of the
day distresser, or a midday mood booster, or help getting
the best sleep ever. Dylan, this is where it comes
in for you. Yeah, Loomi Gummies has a strain that
is right for you. The other night, I was super stressed,
so I took the Hybrid's Strawberry Cookie gummy and I
took a hot shower, and let me tell you something,
I can't remember the last time I was so relaxed.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing. When I take Loomy Gummies, I can
just hear my daughter cry, but just turn it into
a dream. I don't even get up.
Speaker 2: Isn't that magical. I don't think she'll have a problem
with that. No, maybe later in therapy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you won't remember. There's some there's some faint
memory I have of being abandoned alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think my dad sucks.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Her therapist calls me, like, we got to talk
about this. I roll in there. I'm like, kid, you
got no fucking idea what abandonment is? Okay, I mean,
what are we doing here? You know? And then I
get demon eyes of the whole fucking thing. All right,
So we have chiwaw get pulled up to the bridge,
and Captain Carry's like, listen, you're a fucking idiot. Okay,
and we got our super big problem because I think
you're a fucking idiot, and so I'm gonna be watching
you exactly what you mentioned. You don't want to be
on the radar.
Speaker 2: He also used this phrase, and I'm gonna next time
we interview Captain Carry, I'm gonna go, all right, Carrie,
you can come on. We're gonna interview you. But I'm
gonna apply full pressure. Okay, I'm gonna apply full pressure.
Speaker 1: Ask me whatever you want.
Speaker 2: Well, I haven't figured that out yet, but I know
I'm you're a fucking idiot.
Speaker 1: You know I'm gonna be watching you, Okay, I'm gonna
be fucking watching you, and if you fuck up, one
fucking time, I'm gonna fucking fire you. And that's exactly
what he does.
Speaker 2: But it's worth mentioning if we really kind of look
understand how humans work. He was already fired at this point, ye,
especially when he does that intel little tender drive with Jess.
But Jess is also someone that I like. That's like, yeah,
I love Jess.
Speaker 1: She's great.
Speaker 2: I wish she'd push out a little bit more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She reminds me of a character on
Doug Doug. Yeah, dude, dude doo doo, dude doo dude
doo doo. You know, Doug Doug Benson, No, Skeeter, Patty
Mayonnaise Roger.
Speaker 2: Maybe not my generation.
Speaker 1: Whoa, that's pretty wild.
Speaker 2: Okay, so this is when Kao meets with his team.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing about Ko. Now, Kao's a nice guy,
boring Ryan Cabrera on the way down. We talked about it, right,
But this is what he does. He goes, I just
gotta yelled at you guys better fucking stop being pikes.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's pick.
Speaker 1: Up the slack. Okay, you guys are fugging up. It's like, whoa, wha, whoa,
that's not right now, Daimo voices that there is a
mutiny of foot here. Okay, Damo, and this is what happens. Okay,
this is why it's very, very hard to keep empires afoot, because, yeah,
the constituents will sometimes not voice the problems they have
and know that the grenade is about to blow up. Now,
Daimo just wants to see Chihuau fail and will just
step aside and freaking suck off with Frasier while it's happened.
Speaker 2: Was Damo the one that said maybe it was with
him and Kyle where he's like, you know, sometimes I
know he's fucking up, and I just let him. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
when your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt.
Speaker 1: Them, let them give them rope. So we get to
the preference sheet meeting. No no, no, long you've been.
Speaker 2: Gone, no, no, I know, Okay, it's time for the.
Speaker 1: This one sucked, sucked bunch of goddamn JUGI fucking nice family.
Speaker 2: What what what the.
Speaker 1: Theme of one of the theme what's the theme of
these fucking dinners? Florida, Florida? I mean, good, goddamn, we
got a guy and a got in a goddamn fucking
tuxedo T shirt. I mean, my god, these people are
my kind of people that really know how to party.
Speaker 2: Three day Charter though, and we we did one of
those things that we saw in.
Speaker 1: The last a little zoom through. I'm actually kind of liking.
Speaker 2: It, little montage of an entire day.
Speaker 1: What was the name of Liam Neeson's late wife who
died tragically on the slopes?
Speaker 2: Oh God, any other day I would just pop that
name out. Beautiful blonde woman. H I do have my phone?
Speaker 1: Why are you asking that? Definitely wasn't an Hash the
human missile? No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: She took herself out and then came back from the
dead to scare children.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Hash perished on concrete. She did
not perish in snow. In fact, she perished in the
opposite of snow. Elementally, it was actually fire, which is
anyway flying. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The Amnesen's steadwife, Natasha something I.
Speaker 1: Think, Natasha? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Uh, why do you Asklan?
Speaker 1: I just want to know her name.
Speaker 2: Natasha Richardson.
Speaker 1: Natasha Richardson, just class beauty and Hallie and Annie's mom.
I would say that the reason I brought it up
is because one of these the woman has a broken
arm from skiing.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: Okay. Now now people, people get in the comments, would
you go on a ski trip?
Speaker 2: Okay, so this was a little different. They don't even
get into it. This is adrenaline junkie bullshit. This is
like wearing one of those fucking squirrel costumes and jumping
on the mountain. Okay, those idiots, he said, hella skiing. Yeah,
that's where they drop you off at a place that
you could not get to. Because I lived in Lake Tahoe.
Half of them die every ski season, and yet they
keep doing it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you have to put a a what do
you call those things, those little beeper things. Uh, you
have to put one of those up those like a
tracking thing. Yeah, if you have to put pop one
of those on the ski vest, Nope, not doing it.
Speaker 2: Here's the other crazy thing, because they have to make
sure that there's not loose snow that can cause an avalanche.
Before the helicopter lands to drop your ass off, they
throw dynamite down there to blow it up.
Speaker 1: No. Yeah, I thought they got to do the shovel
test thing. I always see that on YouTube shorts and whatnot,
where they're doing the pat down thing and they go
see this is this? I'm like, how do you fucking
glean any information from that? It's very very confusing.
Speaker 2: He jell. I don't know if you knew this. Those
squirrel people that fly yeah, like, uh, you know what
I think? The death ratio is like uh, like everyone
eventually dies if you're into that.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, I mean it's like playing right, you play
Russian Roulette long enough, you will shoot your head off.
You know what I mean? I mean, everybody see deer Hunter. Listen, you, me,
the wives and the children. If we ever would did
you ever go up to mammoth? Nah, you wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I don't like it. It's cold. That's why I moved
to Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: You would deprive your children of ski lessons because you
don't want to be cold.
Speaker 2: Well, you know I can, I can point them in
different directions other than cold things. Hey, how about this
cheerleading camp that seems much.
Speaker 1: Nicer, But then you don't get to do anything. You
just have to sit while they're doing cheerleading camp.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I'm gonna I'm gonna. I'm gonna do things
with my kids. Like just tonight, Quinny and I we
watched the rest of Skeleton crew. That's Star Wars kids thing.
It's really fun.
Speaker 1: Okay, nobody wants to ski with me. My wife doesn't
want to skae with me, and nobody wants to ski
with me.
Speaker 2: I'll go golfing with you.
Speaker 1: We should go golfings, man, Okay, so we go on
a date.
Speaker 2: I love this. Yeah, this was fucking hilarious. Can I
tell you why?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Of course.
Speaker 2: So Ola, upon entering the establishment, says, is this restaurant casual?
Apparently she didn't see the foosball table and the middle
of the room. I would argue that screams gosh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean everybody knows that foosball tables air hockey.
Those are the markings and the trappings of a of
a really really nice restaurant. You know, Carbone famously has
a beautiful foosball table the middle of the time.
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, absolutely absolutely so.
Speaker 2: Actually, you know, that's one of my things I don't
like about Nobu is you have to like to get
to the bar, you gotta walk around a pool table.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my gosh. I mean listen,
that's why I don't really like these places. Mastros. I mean,
you David, and and to think you could put another
table there, you can put a four times there.
Speaker 2: You're losing money by having it.
Speaker 1: But you know they're gonna keep people happy. So we
have this date and solet says that she's been heartbroken
in the past, right, she was once so in love
with somebody that she stopped eating.
Speaker 2: Well, why did she stop eating because she was heartbroken? Well, no, dear,
this is stop like us. She was dubbed four times
and after she was dubbed each time she fell bored love, dear. Yes,
treat them like dirt. They stick like buddet.
Speaker 1: This is a little bit like Quasimoto to me. Okay,
So when Esmerelda passes, Quasimoto begins to waste away, and
what does he do. He uh, falls next to her
and lays down next to her dead body and then
he just he just dies there with her. And it's
actually not cute, it's actually fucking creepy as shit. So
a little bit like that. They head back to the
boat and they freaking totally have sex with each other.
Speaker 2: Yes, they do.
Speaker 1: And then we get to the next morning, well.
Speaker 2: Before Fraser has thoughts on this. Yeah, because he's seen
this before and he also has a functioning brain. He
looks at this situation. He's like, these guys are just
gonna bump uglies and this will go nowhere. And that's
because he understands how sea rats work in their natural environment.
It's like throwing a rat in a snake cage. We
know what's going to happen. It's not going to worry.
Speaker 1: The rat's gonna fuck the snake and then they're both
gonna move on, all right.
Speaker 2: Oh. Also, for Kyle calls his mommy and uh yeah,
she lets him know her brother is still having sex
with his wife.
Speaker 1: And that was No, that was Anthony.
Speaker 2: That's what I am.
Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, so so so okay, So I don't know
what producer stumbled upon these phone calls and decided we
must put these in the show to demonstrate the heart
of this ip.
Speaker 2: It humanizes them, Dylan, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: There's nothing you can do to humanize this here rat.
They can cry, they can wax about things that relate
to us. They are seafaring people. They have nothing in
common with us land dwellers. They are fucking sea rats. Okay.
I know they have parents, that does not make them
the same.
Speaker 2: We all have parents.
Speaker 1: Okay, come on, Stephen Sigall had a parent. Yeah, you know,
Anthony talking to his mother. Hey, hey, hey, you know
one of my favorite hold opens of all time was
Pat played a clip of this blockheaded, fucking idiot on
the valley talking about how he has a boyfriend now
who can cook for him, and and Pat said, uh,
who gives a fuck? Right, that's how I feel about
these goddamn phone calls with his mom. I mean, it's
not even fucking English.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be really entertaining to see Anthony get fired
for a second time.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're gonna have one Natalla crape station
go wrong and it's gonna be Okay. So Fraser calls
his boyfriend and they broke up.
Speaker 2: I gotta give you know, Frasier, we're supposed to see
your life unfold before the cameras. The fact that you
just leave the boat where you know there's no cameras
and you fucking you know do the deed there.
Speaker 1: It's a big no no in Patty's it's a big
no no. This is a Kyle Richards move. But I
will say, breaking up with somebody who you've been with
for not that long and you've seen five times in
one year. That's a little bit like being impeached as
like a room parent. You know. It's like, Okay, I
I guess it's.
Speaker 2: A thing, but it's not gonna break anybody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not really a thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And this tribunal you all have put together wherein you
voted me out like I'm Nixon or something. We're talking
about macaroni paintings. Okay, uh okay. The charter guest arrive
a couple of fucking whites. Darlene normally wouldn't ask for
the searets to unpack her bag, but when she was
being thrust out of a helicopter onto the slope of
a mountain that human beings shouldn't be having fun on,
she broke her arm. Now, Robert is allergic to alcohol.
He breaks out and handcuffs when he drinks good one. Robert,
goddamn it, Robert.
Speaker 2: We had a nickel for every time.
Speaker 1: He said that, Yeah, that's we'd have a nickel. Chwell
gets a dime dropped on him. Just and Carrie head
out to Mullet Bay and and Jess basically says, the
guy's a fucking idiot, and Carrie says, you wouldn't believe this.
I've been killing him a fucking idiot, old fucking morning.
She's like, no way, Barbara. I can't really understand what
Barbara is saying. Ever, Yeah, and she says something about
being a lady and having another gay lady and that
being nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, she's fawning with Jess, who's also into ladies,
and then they kind of bond over breakups. And now
you know, she had dated a quote unquote straight girl
for two years and she strung her along too long.
So yeah, now she's not gonna wait for people anymore.
You know, you get hurt by.
Speaker 1: Someone totally, totally.
Speaker 2: You carry that into your next couple relationship.
Speaker 1: I mean, back to Quasimoto, you know, he wasn't waiting
around for anybody. He just hopped on that coffin started
fucking dying right next to her. Listen, one of the
Chiggy Whites begins to break down the entire family dynamic
of the people on the on the boat. Wow, don't
do that.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm so fascinating.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, listen, I know that the sea
rats asked, but they're they're lying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're lying. There so you're literally talking to someone
who's not listening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean imagine, take a styrofoam cup,
now start talking to it. How foolish do you feel? Uh?
Speaker 2: You know. It's funny though, now that I have to
deal with these parents that don't we don't give a
shit about each other because we're still trying to feel
each other out. Yeah, someone like what do you do
for work?
Speaker 1: Or something?
Speaker 2: To last me? And I'll like start talking and I'll
notice they'll just like sometimes I'll be like, I'm gonna
just stop talking and see if they notice, dude, and
they don't.
Speaker 1: I am. I am so reading that. I am so dreadful.
Speaker 2: You're young enough that it might not as affect you
as much as it does me, because your generation might
be more still like partying and stuff. I'm with a
bunch of old fucking folgies.
Speaker 1: Genuinely. The last time somebody really tried to get roped
into our friend circle, my wife introduced me to her
friend's boyfriend and he started talking to me about how
I've told this before, but he was in marketing, and
I was just like, God, that sounds so boring, and
he was super offended by it. Got a couple more
conversations like that coming up in the future, got a
lot more. Oh yeah, don't talk to me about content
management systems as though you're talking about a roller coaster.
My god. Yeah, man, Okay, we get to volleyball, Turnpike,
Tribadors versus the Decteriors. Now let's skip over this. Let's
skip over it. But Fraser does like volleyball, and it's
crazy that he likes volleyball, because Fraser and volleyball have
a tumultuous relationship on the show, that being if you'll
recall Ah, yes, yes, yes, Sandy. You know how Sandy
flips out and it like is still in sigone every
once in a while. She went up to Frasier in
front of everyone and was like, this man is disgusting
and he's not elus look at this fucking yeah. It
was so bizarre now.
Speaker 2: But it got cleared up because we had the reality gaze.
Jake and Maddie come on and they you know, cleared
the air. They were like, he's a twink and she
fucking hates twins.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank god for that. All right, Lunch
is grilled tarragon chicken with the Mediterranean salad, brenzino, and
the whole thing is just a beautiful and clean lunch.
But we get up to oh, there's a mutiny afoot like.
Speaker 2: This, just talking to Ko and she's like, hey, I
need a goddamn break schedule, and he pushes back and
they finally or he finally agrees to do a break
meeting at the start of aage.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, this is the turning point in the kind
of you know, it's it's a tale as old as time.
The the usurper, right, the protagonist usurper. Right, there's somebody
who's not fit to lead the group, and they take over.
Usually the person that's not fit has some kind of
surreptitious tie to the adversarial power, but they're supplanted eventually,
and and and and you can tell by the language
the courage starts to seep out of the mouth. Really,
Jess says, I don't want my deck team suffering right now.
She's just a decie, right, she's not These are not
her people yet, but she's speaking as the Arthurian boson
that we need.
Speaker 2: Let me say this, ye you know this, Delle. You
see when blood is in the water and you realize
you can step out of your you can kill you
could kill, yes, or you know someone else will be
soon killed, so you can talk that way.
Speaker 1: So we wrap the beach thing after twelve, flops around
on the floody deck for a while, and we get
ready for dinner, which Captain Carrey will be attending. Uh. Now,
the last time Captain Carrey sat down for a meal
with Anthony, we hit the trifecta. The food was late,
cold and disgusting. Uh yum.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Now Dyll on the on the other side of that, Uh,
it was for Jill Zerran, So I think we can
all admit that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's the one that wanted.
She suggested that they have an electronic buzzer that would
alert the staff.
Speaker 1: Well not not just not just out of nowhere, she'd
she'd uh, she'd had that before. Good yea for her.
Housewives used to be so good.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think she only got two seasons.
Speaker 1: Though I'm not talking about when Jill was on uh
over the leave, when we were just kind of sitting around.
She's had on Old New York specifically, I believe they
called it slut Island. When lou Adela's heps bangs that
that fucking oh I love pirates. Yeah, she she had
sung it in the Kabbos. She had sex with a
guy who dressed up, asked Captain Jack Sparrow at a bar,
and then said, you know, it was just my Italian
friends were over last night, and then proceeds to go
on the phone and speak in French, as though if
she's speaking in French they can't understand.
Speaker 2: What she'll do the transwer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I never tell.
Speaker 2: I never tell, So you don't tell either, okay. Dear
by the way, I won't do a little promotion.
Speaker 1: I will be plaiforming at Radio City Music Hall on Saturday,
July seventeenth, and I was forming all the hits I've
got you under my thom booby doo, boo boo. It's
so funny because crazy eyes killing Ramona goes around and
she's like, I think I know what you were doing
last night. I mean, Housewives used to be so good.
Speaker 2: It's still good, Miami. I got it much much fun
and Anna.
Speaker 1: Is pretty good. Okay, all right, Well, Anthony is the
fucking boss. He's gonna knock this out of the fucking park.
We gets to dinner and the theme is retirement community.
So before that, Rainbow and Selaine have a little bit
of a you know, we try to. I feel bad
for Rainbow. You know, she clearly has been through a lot.
We talked about what she's been through. You and I
have never seen flesh fly, no, not once, never seen
anything like that. So yeah, interpersonal sewings together are a
little challenging for her. And Selaine is a popular girl,
you know, she's not. She may be low on the
tunnel pole, but she's It's this exchange of currencies, right,
so Rainbow is the one who's competent, experienced. Selene does
not value that currency whatsoever. Okay, we don't take your
you're freaking pound or whatever. Here.
Speaker 2: She's pricing out at this point and probably working like
how much should I charge to see my asshole?
Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right. God,
what do you what are people doing? You're paying You're
paying seventy dollars to see people's assholes.
Speaker 2: You know, sometimes it's worth it?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean, listen, we've all been there. You're like,
I I've got to see that asshole. You see it.
You're like, I saw that asshole. That's crazy.
Speaker 2: So Anyways, I do want to there's a meanwhile here, Delle. Meanwhile,
Captain Carry, he's sitting at that table eating dinner, yucking
it up with the charter guests. I like how he shares.
He explains why his marriage didn't work out, and which
was that his wife, his ex wife, really didn't know him.
On the positive side, she wasn't having sex with his uncle.
Speaker 1: Yep, that's tough.
Speaker 2: That's tough.
Speaker 1: Hello, mom, do you remember Dad's broza and how he
It's like, god, damn it. Man. All right, let's get
to dinner. First course is a tuna savice. I can't
really fuck that up. Just make it clean, make it nice.
Then we get to rope a via hop with saffron
rice and plant taints. Now, this is a beautiful dish
to labor of love. A stude South American meat is
always going to be delicious. Now if we go from
a savich a recrudo, now, I know we're still within
the same realm of astronomy, but I need a bridge
between savice and rub a via Okay, because we're going
from delicate to Guy Fieri pretty quickly. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
So we're going from tunis delicate dish to here is
a goddamn fucking cafeteria tray of stud beef at starch.
Now listen, Like I said, it's a labor blo. I'm
not gonna kick it out of the bed. What I
will say is that this is a four pot dinner.
I mean, come on thematically, I mean it's just completely clashing.
I mean this is like, this is like what what what? What? What?
This is like if I was uh, I don't know
what to compare it to, but it's it's a freaking
car crash. Okay. Uh. And then the red velvet cape
looked absolutely delicious, although I will say red velvet is
a little bit you know, it's going the way of
the chicrudery plate. Okay, let's come up with new cakes.
Let's move on past the red velvet.
Speaker 2: I think we've got to start getting into uh uh
a store, uh store candy like Nerds. Nerds is making
its way throughout all. Like fast food, well, it's the
cluster man cheese has a flavor. And then today I
drove through Burger can get that impossible Burger? What do
I see on the goddamn menu?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about right, No, they have
a NERD's slushy. Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: It's the clus It goes to show you what one
product can do. James, I'm the kidding, Anthony. This was
a great meal. It did clash seventy pots.
Speaker 2: Captain Carrey liked it. Next morning.
Speaker 1: Next morning we zoomed through the second day of the charter.
I'm a massive fan of that. We don't need to
be with these people for that long. We don't really
need to be with any charter guests for any super
long amount of time unless they are awful. Okay, if
they are extremely difficult, extremely rude, keep them on our screens.
If not, let's get back to the internal conflict within
the sea rec.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I should appreciate this quick at it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we wrap with a departure, a tip that was
compensated for the stingy gays.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, yes, By the way, do we even
care what they we were gonna have sky knox on.
I'm in communication with them. Do we want them to
explain because they're claiming that they actually made a gave
a bigger tip and might have their seats and production
fucked them.
Speaker 1: You can keep chatting with them I was curious about. Yeah, no,
I mean it's interesting. Maybe they can let us know,
we'll broadcast.
Speaker 2: I'm busy yet, yeah, Pride weekend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're busy with kids. That's so yeah, maybe not so.
Speaker 2: One last note here till before we wrap up.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, if I if I was a freaking
twenty six year old youngster just freaking smoking pot all
the time, I'd be like, hey, let's have everybody on.
I would too, Yeah, I gotta I gotta get out
of here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, my time is very important.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 2: So when they go through that goddamn bridge, the stern
line isn't fast stern line isn't fastened fast enough. Yeah,
and Carrie's very annoyed once again, and well.
Speaker 1: The goddamn dinghy popper, you know, the thing that prevents
I'm always amazed. What an amazing piece of technology. You know,
it's a little bit like air. It's just air, you know,
it's not it's not low enough. So they could just
scrape against the dock and that's the last straw for
carry He goes Choell, you're a complete fucking idiot, and
I have to say I'm letting you go.
Speaker 2: Would you have preferred if they kept this as a cliffhanger. No, okay, no,
Well one of the nicest boas and fuck ups we've
had in a long time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good luck. I think chiuha was actually really nice
and uh, if you want to come on.
Speaker 2: I doubt he will. I think he just wants to
play his guitar.
Speaker 1: Let us know, se la Vie. Thank you guys so
much for listening. Get me uh the iTunes ratings turns
out we kind of need your help. Yeah, yeah, you're
zinging us with those one stars and stars are tough.
Speaker 2: Support our sponsors Loomy and Avril Berner.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Avril. That picture is so sweet. Seriously, love
you guys for listening. I'm done saying goodbye. Pat, say
goodbye to exact distinct