Speaker 1: Welcome to Grief podcast. I'm Dylan, and this time together
Speaker 1: is meant for those moments when a memory wave arrives
Speaker 1: while you are right in the middle of work. You
Speaker 1: might be typing an email or sorting through papers, and
Speaker 1: suddenly the thought of your person is there, pulling your
Speaker 1: attention away. These sudden hits show up often during the
Speaker 1: day because the mind keeps its own schedule even when
Speaker 1: the clock says otherwise. Today's focus practice is a sixty
Speaker 1: second softened pause that gives the wave a little room
Speaker 1: without pulling you completely out of what you need to finish.
Speaker 1: Many people notice the same thing at their desks or
Speaker 1: in meetings, because grief does not wait for a quiet hour. Instead,
Speaker 1: it slips in between tasks and asks for a moment
Speaker 1: of attention. We can meet it with a short pause
Speaker 1: US that softens the edges rather than pushing the feeling away.
Speaker 1: Since the wave has already arrived, we can begin right
Speaker 1: where you are, let your hands rest for a moment,
Speaker 1: if that feels possible, and notice the surface under them.
Speaker 1: The pause works by letting the memory stay present while
Speaker 1: you stay present with the task in front of you
Speaker 1: at the same time. Although it lasts only sixty seconds.
Speaker 1: The practice creates a small space that keeps the wave
Speaker 1: from growing larger. You might feel the tightness in your
Speaker 1: chest or the quick shift in your thoughts, and that
Speaker 1: is part of how these waves move. The soften pause
Speaker 1: meets that shift with a gentle acknowledgment instead of a
Speaker 1: demand to stop or continue, as if nothing happened. While
Speaker 1: you stay seated at your desk or wherever the day
Speaker 1: has you. The pause can travel with the memory for
Speaker 1: those sixty seconds and then let you return to the
Speaker 1: next small step. Since the wave is already here, you
Speaker 1: can pause for just a minute it stop what you
Speaker 1: are doing. Notice where your body has tightened. It might
Speaker 1: be in your chest, or your neck, or your hands.
Speaker 1: Take that awareness and let your shoulders drop a little lower,
Speaker 1: let your jaw relax, let your belly soften. As you
Speaker 1: breathe out, you can say to yourself, it is okay
Speaker 1: to feel this. Now, hold that softening for a moment,
Speaker 1: notice how it feels. Then, if the wave is still moving,
Speaker 1: you can repeat the softening once more. Meanwhile, the practice
Speaker 1: stays short because it fits into the middle of your
Speaker 1: day without taking over. Although it only takes about sixty seconds,
Speaker 1: it gives the memory a little space. Instead of pushing through,
Speaker 1: you allow the body to ease. Therefore, the tightness releases
Speaker 1: bit by bit while you continue with your task. The
Speaker 1: wave moves alongside you, rather than stopping you completely. The
Speaker 1: mechanism works because tension often gathers first in those same
Speaker 1: spots when a memory surfaces. Softening interrupts that pattern before
Speaker 1: it grows strong. Since the body responds quickly to a
Speaker 1: simple release, the mind follows with less resistance. However, the
Speaker 1: wave itself does not disappear on command. It simply meets
Speaker 1: less opposition so it can pass through more freely. In fact,
Speaker 1: many people notice that the same memory returns later with
Speaker 1: less force after they have practiced this pause once or twice.
Speaker 1: Although the change feels small, it adds up because the
Speaker 1: body learns a new response over repeated midday moments. You
Speaker 1: might wonder what to do if the wave feels stronger
Speaker 1: than usual. In that case, you can extend the softening
Speaker 1: by one extra exhale without forcing anything deeper. The key
Speaker 1: remains the same. Stop notice soften on the outbreath, Say
Speaker 1: the short phrase if it helps, then return to what
Speaker 1: you were doing. Meanwhile, the whole sequence keeps its sixty
Speaker 1: second limits, so it does not pull you away from
Speaker 1: the rest of your afternoon. Because the pause is brief,
Speaker 1: if it becomes something you can reach for even when
Speaker 1: time feels tight. The reality is that memory waves arrive
Speaker 1: without warning, and they rarely match the schedule you had
Speaker 1: in mind. This practice offers one steady place to meet them.
Speaker 1: It does not ask you to change the memory or
Speaker 1: to move past it. Instead, it gives the body a
Speaker 1: brief chance to loosen the grip that often comes with
Speaker 1: sudden recall. Therefore, the rest of your day can continue
Speaker 1: with a little more room around the edges. You can
Speaker 1: try this same sequence again later if another wave appears.
Speaker 1: The steps stay consistent because consistency helps the body recognize
Speaker 1: the signal. Stop what you are doing. Notice the tightening,
Speaker 1: soften shoulders, jaw, and belly. On the exhale, use the
Speaker 1: phrase when it feels right. Since the timing stays near
Speaker 1: sixty seconds, the practice remains practical for any midday setting.
Speaker 1: Although the wave may still carry sadness or longing, the
Speaker 1: added tension does not have to stay. This midday pause
Speaker 1: to soften memory wave gives you one clear way to
Speaker 1: meet what has already arrived. When you soften during that pause,
Speaker 1: the body gets a chance to let go of the
Speaker 1: tension Grief often stores in the chest or shoulders. Because
Speaker 1: the memory surfaces without warning, those muscles tighten first, and
Speaker 1: the softening gives them room to ease instead of holding on.
Speaker 1: The brief pause works in the same way by keeping
Speaker 1: the memory from growing into something larger right away, while
Speaker 1: you still need to finish what you started. A study
Speaker 1: published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress showed that this
Speaker 1: kind of somatic regulation can help the body stay steadier
Speaker 1: during emotional waves. Researchers at the authors listed in that
Speaker 1: paper described how small physical releases support the system without
Speaker 1: requiring a full stop. You might notice the difference in
Speaker 1: how your breath moves after you try the softening once
Speaker 1: or twice. Although the wave does not disappear, the intensity
Speaker 1: often settles enough for you to keep going. Meanwhile, the
Speaker 1: practice fits into a midday moment because it asks for
Speaker 1: only a minute and then lets you return to the
Speaker 1: task at hand. Since memory waves arrive on their own schedule,
Speaker 1: this short step gives you something reliable to turn to
Speaker 1: without changing the rest of your afternoon. The reality is
Speaker 1: that these pauses add up over time. Because each one
Speaker 1: interrupts the build before it takes over. You can use
Speaker 1: the same sequence again later if another wave shows up
Speaker 1: while you work. Ultimately, the approach stays simple, so it
Speaker 1: remains available even on days when focus feels scattered. You
Speaker 1: might find that returning to the softening becomes easier the
Speaker 1: more you practice it in these ordinary moments. You can
Speaker 1: return to this softened pause anytime another memory wave arrives
Speaker 1: later today, because the same steps work whether you stand
Speaker 1: at a counter or sit at a desk. Since the
Speaker 1: practice asks only for sixty seconds, it slips between other
Speaker 1: tasks without forcing you to stop everything. Bookmark the episode
Speaker 1: now so the next wave finds the guidance already waiting,
Speaker 1: instead of leaving you to search Meanwhile, the study published
Speaker 1: in the Journal of Traumatic Stress showed how somatic regulation
Speaker 1: helps the body stay steadier once tension begins to gather.
Speaker 1: Although the wave itself may still rise, the pause gives
Speaker 1: those spots in the chest or shoulders a chance to
Speaker 1: loosen before the tightness spreads further. Therefore, you might notice
Speaker 1: the shift feels smaller each time you repeat the sequence,
Speaker 1: even if the memory stays just as clear. If this
Speaker 1: podcast helps you make sense of your shit. Join our
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Speaker 1: when listeners back it. You can find the link to
Speaker 1: join in the episode description. Ultimately, I hope the rest
Speaker 1: of your day moves forward with a little more room
Speaker 1: to breathe, even when the waves keep coming.