Speaker 1: Hi everyone, and welcome back to other podcast episode. My
Speaker 1: name is Lisha Gogin, the host of the Globe So
Speaker 1: You Guts Podcast. Why I help you expand your mind
Speaker 1: and become more self awares that you can glow up
Speaker 1: into the best version of yourself. Hello, how are we doing?
Speaker 1: Happy June? I feel like I'm pretty tan right now
Speaker 1: because I have been out in the sun, vibing, having
Speaker 1: a good summer, and I really do think partly the
Speaker 1: reason why I'm thriving in so many ways this summer
Speaker 1: is one of them being I have released and freed
Speaker 1: myself from I would say, like a low to mid
Speaker 1: level quote unquote addiction that I have been working through
Speaker 1: getting out of in many years of my life. But
Speaker 1: like here and there throughout the past few years, and
Speaker 1: this thing has not completely destroyed my life. It has
Speaker 1: not stopped me from doing my work or taking care
Speaker 1: of myself, but I will say it definitely has wasted
Speaker 1: a lot of my free time. It also has taken
Speaker 1: away some of my capacity to show up in the
Speaker 1: way that I want when it comes to my health
Speaker 1: or my wellness, or even socializing and even just being
Speaker 1: with myself emotionally. In all of those things, and so
Speaker 1: I want to talk about my personal experience with kind
Speaker 1: of like low to mid level even like high functioning addictions.
Speaker 1: In a way, I want to talk about getting to
Speaker 1: the root of some of these things that really.
Speaker 2: Do control us.
Speaker 1: And I also want to talk about some things that
Speaker 1: have helped me when it comes to practical ways of
Speaker 1: moving away from things that might not serve us, whether
Speaker 1: it's bad habits, addictions, whatever.
Speaker 2: You kind of want to call it.
Speaker 1: And at the end of the episode, I do want
Speaker 1: to talk about two things that I absolutely think are crucial.
Speaker 2: And I think that people who.
Speaker 1: Struggle with any form of addiction, which honestly is a
Speaker 1: lot of us in all different ways, and we can
Speaker 1: get into that what people are missing when it comes
Speaker 1: to breaking free from these things. And if we do
Speaker 1: not have these mindsets and these ways of living, then
Speaker 1: it can be very hard to break these habits and
Speaker 1: these addiction And not only have I seen that in myself,
Speaker 1: but if you guys are new here, this is the
Speaker 1: first time I've ever watched my content. Addiction runs in
Speaker 1: my family. Both of my parents have passed away from addictions,
Speaker 1: so I've seen it firsthand. And when I'm talking about
Speaker 1: addictions when it comes to like my parents, these were.
Speaker 2: Very hard drug addictions.
Speaker 1: Okay, so my experience and what I'm going to be
Speaker 1: talking about is not as high as what I have seen,
Speaker 1: and so I'm just also saying that because this episode
Speaker 1: isn't going to be a one size fits all for everyone,
Speaker 1: and at the end of the day, I'm sharing my experience.
Speaker 2: I am not a therapist.
Speaker 1: If you are really really struggling, then you might need
Speaker 1: to go, you know, get extra help and things like that,
Speaker 1: which we will talk about in this episode anyway, But
Speaker 1: depending on where you're at with any sort of bad habit, addiction,
Speaker 1: anything like that, my hope is that you get something
Speaker 1: out of this episode. So whether you struggle with binge,
Speaker 1: eating on healthy relationships with food, or even drinking, partying
Speaker 1: or even smoking weed or you know, dabbling in other
Speaker 1: party favors, I don't know, there's other addictions and bad
Speaker 1: habit that we all can have, and obviously there's a
Speaker 1: spectrum for everything. But with that said, I just want
Speaker 1: to dive into some of the things that I have
Speaker 1: been really able to help myself move out of in
Speaker 1: my life. So firstly, I'll just quickly share some of
Speaker 1: the things that I have struggled with in my life,
Speaker 1: and I've kind of already mentioned this one for sure
Speaker 1: was a really bad relationship with food AKA and ed.
Speaker 1: I would binge eat a lot. This would, I would say,
Speaker 1: like started maybe like you know, end of high school,
Speaker 1: moving through college, and like even after college a little bit.
Speaker 1: It happened through a span of many years in the
Speaker 1: height of me going through a lot of turmoil with
Speaker 1: a parent who was addicted. And also it was pivotal
Speaker 1: years of my life college. I had body image issues
Speaker 1: things like that. So I was really in the state
Speaker 1: of of eating and dieting and in the fitness and
Speaker 1: health world, but then also really struggling with being able
Speaker 1: to eat well and move my body well and you know,
Speaker 1: have good mental health. And I was a really big perfectionist,
Speaker 1: So I would go to very big extremes and I
Speaker 1: would always crash out. I would be binge eating all
Speaker 1: the time. I would also bring up that food as
Speaker 1: well sometimes when I thought it was really bad that.
Speaker 2: I ate so much food.
Speaker 1: And I also had this thing called orthorexia, which is
Speaker 1: a obsession of eating really clean and like healthy food.
Speaker 1: So I was really into like the health and wellness
Speaker 1: like holistic, you know, clean everything. So anytime I veered
Speaker 1: off of eating a certain way, like I couldn't live
Speaker 1: my life like I was just like couldn't go out
Speaker 1: and eat with my friends.
Speaker 2: I you know, was always consumed by food, Like it
Speaker 2: was just a lot.
Speaker 1: So like I really struggled with that for a very
Speaker 1: very long time. I didn't really even know what to
Speaker 1: do about that. But I have come such a far away,
Speaker 1: like I don't even resonate with that version of me
Speaker 1: in the nicest, most loving way anymore. To like my
Speaker 1: past self, I have a completely different relationship with food.
Speaker 1: It's insane, but it took many years for me to
Speaker 1: come to a lot of realizations of what was happening
Speaker 1: with that. And then another thing that I've also kind
Speaker 1: of talked about a little bit on the podcast throughout
Speaker 1: my years, and I've had like many years where like
Speaker 1: I didn't even do this at all, would be smoking weed.
Speaker 1: And for the podcast, like you know, algorithm stuff, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna say gardening, Okay, gardening marijuana, smoking weed. I
Speaker 1: had like a phase after high school where like I
Speaker 1: was smoking with my friends.
Speaker 2: Like I had this friend group and we would smoke
Speaker 2: a lot.
Speaker 1: And I look back and it definitely like was an
Speaker 1: addiction though, and I didn't even necessarily know it, but
Speaker 1: it just didn't help me.
Speaker 2: Like I definitely was suppressing a lot.
Speaker 1: And basically like needing, not kneeding, but like always wanting
Speaker 1: to smoke to do anything. So there was that period
Speaker 1: of my life, and then I went in a period
Speaker 1: of life where like I was into health and wellness
Speaker 1: and I didn't smoke and this that. But I guess
Speaker 1: when I think about myself and my relationship to things,
Speaker 1: I would kind of like move from maybe like smoking
Speaker 1: to then I was like obsessed with healthy eating and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, but it also wasn't a good relationship
Speaker 1: with that as well. So I think it went back
Speaker 1: and forth through those things. And those are the big
Speaker 1: things that I struggled with. I never struggled with like
Speaker 1: partying like too heavily or anything like that. Never dabbled
Speaker 1: in any other drugs or anything like that, probably because
Speaker 1: I've seen it so firsthand with my mom essentially and
Speaker 1: so like I never like went as far as that,
Speaker 1: but I still struggled a lot. And you know, throughout
Speaker 1: the years, I think, like I'm gonna just get real here.
Speaker 1: The past few years of my life has been a
Speaker 1: lot different than I would say my early twenties into
Speaker 1: even late but twenties and even like teens. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: nine now, I'm going to be turning thirty at the
Speaker 1: end of this year. And I completely transformed myself and
Speaker 1: my life.
Speaker 2: Like I healed a lot. I healed my relationship with food,
Speaker 2: my relationship.
Speaker 1: To myself, Like I expanded and I evolved so much
Speaker 1: from like the old version of me and many many aspects.
Speaker 1: And I got my dream job, I became a YouTuber
Speaker 1: and a podcaster, and I you know, really got aligned
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm really on purpose and all
Speaker 1: of those things. And I even got financially like out
Speaker 1: of debt, Like I did the things that I needed
Speaker 1: to do, and I worked myself out of really crazy
Speaker 1: places in my life. And I think like when I
Speaker 1: moved to the city. I live in Toronto Downtown. When
Speaker 1: I moved, I think that I started like having this
Speaker 1: entire life where it was like great and it's like
Speaker 1: my dream life and my dream job, and I had
Speaker 1: so much freedom and I have like more money. Kind
Speaker 1: of I'm not saying like I'm like super rich guys.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not like I need to like be good
Speaker 1: with my money and I have to make money and
Speaker 1: this that. But from what I used to live, it's
Speaker 1: a lot better.
Speaker 2: And so like.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of free time, and there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things that I didn't need to work on anymore.
Speaker 1: Like I learned so much about healing and all the
Speaker 1: stuff that I talk to you guys about, and even
Speaker 1: now what I am living out is kind of just
Speaker 1: anytime like I get a trigger or anytime that like
Speaker 1: my perfectionist part of me wants.
Speaker 2: To come online.
Speaker 1: Like I have the tools, I know what to do,
Speaker 1: and I kind of work through them and I turn
Speaker 1: over very quickly. And you know, now it's really about
Speaker 1: like how do I want to live the rest of
Speaker 1: my life in terms of, you know, all the things
Speaker 1: that I wasn't able to live out when it comes
Speaker 1: to like healthy friendships and you know, being happy in
Speaker 1: my life and allowing myself to like want more from
Speaker 1: my life and you know, be more in the present
Speaker 1: moment and enjoy and experience life and go on trips
Speaker 1: and like do all of these like fun things that
Speaker 1: I wasn't really able to do when I was living
Speaker 1: in survival mode. So that's like my life right now.
Speaker 1: But when I moved down here, I feel like I
Speaker 1: had a lot of free time and I didn't really
Speaker 1: know what to do with it, and I was not
Speaker 1: used to not living in survival mode essentially, And so
Speaker 1: I found myself sometimes and mind you, like I have
Speaker 1: been single basically, like I was dating here and there,
Speaker 1: and we can have a relationship episode. We'll definitely have
Speaker 1: a relationship episode coming out soon, but I wasn't in
Speaker 1: any sort of like solid healthy relationship really dating here
Speaker 1: and there. Definitely learning a lot of lessons on that
Speaker 1: journey as well. So I was like living alone, and
Speaker 1: I still was also coping with my mom and her
Speaker 1: addictions and things like that. And I started finding myself
Speaker 1: having periods of time where I would go into phases
Speaker 1: of gardening. And I'll quickly say this, I am not
Speaker 1: really afraid of falling into any sort of deep levels
Speaker 1: of either even depression or any form of diction things
Speaker 1: like that, because I just know that I can pull
Speaker 1: myself out. I've been through so much, through so many
Speaker 1: hard times that I just I know that sometimes I'll
Speaker 1: have deeper moments in life where it's hard, but I
Speaker 1: know I'll come out of that. So I think like
Speaker 1: sometimes when I would garden, I wasn't really afraid of
Speaker 1: like getting into any sort of unhealthy relationship with it
Speaker 1: because I was like, for the most part, still in
Speaker 1: a good place and I've done a lot of work
Speaker 1: on my mental health and things like that, so it
Speaker 1: kind of became this thing where it's just like I'm
Speaker 1: bored and there's.
Speaker 2: Not much to do.
Speaker 1: And I do like gardening sometimes, like I'm listen guys,
Speaker 1: like it's it's a nice, like relaxing thing sometimes, but
Speaker 1: I would always end up finding myself.
Speaker 2: Kind of doing it a little bit longer.
Speaker 1: Than I was anticipating or had the intention to, and
Speaker 1: then I was kind of getting.
Speaker 2: Into these like ruts of week after week.
Speaker 1: I kind of felt like it wasn't that I was
Speaker 1: reliant on it, but I would fall back into doing
Speaker 1: it a little bit more and like why am I
Speaker 1: even smoking? And yeah, maybe I'll just do this time.
Speaker 1: And I felt like I was doing that a lot,
Speaker 1: and then I would get into these like mood ruts
Speaker 1: because you know, it can't affect your mood, at least
Speaker 1: for me, Like I think like my mental health is
Speaker 1: very sensitive, probably just because of everything that I've gone through.
Speaker 1: And I think with any sort of like addiction, whether
Speaker 1: it's like food or sugar or obviously like hard drugs
Speaker 1: and stuff, and I can't really speak to that completely,
Speaker 1: but that can also really start to change your neurochemistry
Speaker 1: and your brain to the point where you actually are
Speaker 1: a little bit more reliant on that or your mood
Speaker 1: dips and things like that. So I was going into
Speaker 1: these cycles to the point where I did feel a
Speaker 1: sense of like, ugh, I don't even want to be
Speaker 1: doing this, but I'm kind of doing it anyways type
Speaker 1: of thing. And then I would pull myself out of
Speaker 1: them and then I would be fine and then back
Speaker 1: into it and things like that. And so that's like
Speaker 1: my experience when it comes to gardening. And so after
Speaker 1: like a few phases of doing that, and I had
Speaker 1: one phase a little bit of doing that this year
Speaker 1: after I was grieving the laws to my mom and
Speaker 1: mind you have said this in a past episode, I
Speaker 1: like typically will stay absolutely like far away from any
Speaker 1: sort of anything when I am going through any sort
Speaker 1: of breakup or hard challenging thing in my life, and
Speaker 1: or like grieving anything like that, because I just know,
Speaker 1: like it's so forefront in my mind that that would
Speaker 1: be me suppressing and I don't want to go there.
Speaker 1: And I actually just think that it makes me feel
Speaker 1: worse anyway, even when it comes to drinking. So in
Speaker 1: my life right now, I don't use any form of
Speaker 1: anything for those reasons. Typically it's the boredom and the
Speaker 1: maybe not living in alignment and not being fulfilled or
Speaker 1: maybe even suppressing things like that. But I'm just saying
Speaker 1: that just so you guys know. So anyways, it kind
Speaker 1: of came back online a little bit though, like after
Speaker 1: it was probably springtime, and at first it was you know,
Speaker 1: an enjoyable experience. You know, I'm gonna like smoke here
Speaker 1: in there or whatever.
Speaker 2: It's fun.
Speaker 1: And then I got into that like ruh again and
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I need to address this. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be doing this anymore, and I feel
Speaker 1: like I am really almost neglecting myself. And I came
Speaker 1: to this realization that I just like was operating as
Speaker 1: somebody who doesn't love themselves and who doesn't want more
Speaker 1: for themselves and doesn't even believe that I should have
Speaker 1: a better quality of life or equality experience, because I
Speaker 1: started to feel like I was just kind of living
Speaker 1: a low quality of life because it did impact my
Speaker 1: sleep a little bit, it did impact my work in
Speaker 1: the sense of like maybe I was kind of drained
Speaker 1: that week if I did smoke here or there, or
Speaker 1: I was eating a little bit more food than I
Speaker 1: typically would if I wasn't smoking, things like that, And
Speaker 1: I was like, why am I doing this? Like why
Speaker 1: am I treating myself this way? When I don't deserve this?
Speaker 1: And I just want to say this like an opening, Okay,
Speaker 1: when it comes to this, like I really hope that
Speaker 1: you start to look at yourself as if you are
Speaker 1: worthy of more of this treatment that you're giving to yourself.
Speaker 1: And listen, we're talking about like low to mid level,
Speaker 1: like high functioning type of things, right. So I feel
Speaker 1: like sometimes we don't even realize that we might be
Speaker 1: doing some form of I wouldn't say self hate, but
Speaker 1: like not treating ourselves the best when yeah, I'll smoke
Speaker 1: here and there, you know, maybe I'm drinking here and there,
Speaker 1: and like I have a little bit of a hangover,
Speaker 1: but you're like not going.
Speaker 2: Off the walls.
Speaker 1: But like, still, I feel like we should feel the
Speaker 1: best we've ever felt, and I just don't think that
Speaker 1: some of these habits are giving us that feeling. And
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes maybe we are lying to ourselves
Speaker 1: or we're brushing it off. But if you're watching this episode,
Speaker 1: then it probably is something that needs to be addressed.
Speaker 1: So I want to talk about some of like the
Speaker 1: practical things that I have done personally for me to
Speaker 1: kind of move myself away from this like cycle that
Speaker 1: I was in and a big realization that I had
Speaker 1: to come to when it came to actually changing before
Speaker 1: even doing any practical tips. And I think for me,
Speaker 1: I've kind of already done this work, and I've also
Speaker 1: again I've seen this in my parents and I've really
Speaker 1: dissected this, and I also go to therapy and all
Speaker 1: these things. And I think the first thing that we
Speaker 1: all need to come to a realization of is like
Speaker 1: there's something deeper that is going on, and you need
Speaker 1: to be very aware of why it is that you
Speaker 1: are doing this bad habit because there is a reason,
Speaker 1: and it could be an extreme reason. You know, maybe
Speaker 1: you're running away from like all of the trauma that
Speaker 1: you have not worked on yet in your life, or
Speaker 1: you know, a really bad breakup, or you're feeling lost
Speaker 1: in life, whatever it is, or it could just simply
Speaker 1: just be burnout, or it could be boredom, or it
Speaker 1: could be you not living on purpose or being aligned anymore.
Speaker 2: And that's kind of like where I was at.
Speaker 1: It was kind of like all this time and you know,
Speaker 1: there was actually a few things that maybe I wasn't
Speaker 1: like on purpose with, but then there is so it's
Speaker 1: like I got all this time and this freedom, and
Speaker 1: I kind of bored. But I will say when it
Speaker 1: comes to relationships, which I'm going to talk about at
Speaker 1: the end, like I wasn't really feeling fulfilled in them.
Speaker 1: And you know, when you don't feel fulfilled and you
Speaker 1: don't have like a full life and you're not really
Speaker 1: like on anything, you could definitely be susceptible to these
Speaker 1: habits one hundred percent, but you know, maybe you're not
Speaker 1: there and maybe it is something that's deeper. Like for me,
Speaker 1: I think about when I had my relationship with food
Speaker 1: that was not healthy at all. I was living in
Speaker 1: a household that was not healthy for me. It was
Speaker 1: genuinely the most toxic environment that I've ever seen, and
Speaker 1: I was dealing with all of these feelings that I
Speaker 1: didn't know how to deal with when it came to
Speaker 1: my mom, and you know, seeing her take a certain
Speaker 1: path in her life, and I was young and I
Speaker 1: needed her and I was going through pivotal years.
Speaker 2: So there were so many things.
Speaker 1: That I didn't even know how to deal with, and
Speaker 1: so I would go to food because it was a
Speaker 1: sense of feeling like I was in control of my life.
Speaker 1: But it also helped me suppress these deep emotions that
Speaker 1: I was feeling. So whether it was sadness or loss,
Speaker 1: or frustration or anger towards my mom or even towards myself, right.
Speaker 2: Any of those things.
Speaker 1: If I came home from a long day after work
Speaker 1: or school or whatever, and I was eating ice cream
Speaker 1: and whatever, like that was helping me get through the moment.
Speaker 1: But underneath all that, there was a lot more going on.
Speaker 1: And you know, I've created this entire podcast channel or
Speaker 1: if you're listening on Spotify and Apple my podcast to
Speaker 1: help you really continue to dive into these things. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: this is a healing journey that you're going to.
Speaker 2: Have to go on.
Speaker 1: If you realize that you are suppressing, running away or
Speaker 1: masking certain things, you have to go deeper within yourself
Speaker 1: and the relationship that you have towards yourself, and why
Speaker 1: is it that you are going to these things? What
Speaker 1: are you suppressing? What are you running away from? What
Speaker 1: can't you handle? And that's okay that you can't write,
Speaker 1: but it really is like looking at these things, like
Speaker 1: what does eating or smoking or any other thing, what
Speaker 1: is that doing for you in the moment? And for me,
Speaker 1: it definitely was, you know, taking away some boredom. And
Speaker 1: you know, I was definitely burnt out, so I didn't
Speaker 1: really want to go and do anything in my life.
Speaker 1: But then I wanted to do something, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to feel something and I wanted to feel better whatever,
Speaker 1: So then I would do.
Speaker 2: Something like smoking.
Speaker 1: But then the consequences of that were not consequences that
Speaker 1: I really wanted.
Speaker 2: To deal with realistically.
Speaker 1: It was actually in a very big contradiction to the
Speaker 1: life that I want to live, which is a very
Speaker 1: healthy lifestyle. I want to get proper sleep, I want
Speaker 1: to be productive, I want to feel clear minded, and
Speaker 1: when I'm doing certain things like that that is not
Speaker 1: in alignments at all. Same thing goes with even drinking,
Speaker 1: Like you know, I can't do these things when I'm
Speaker 1: hung over.
Speaker 2: The next day.
Speaker 1: And the thing is this, when we're talking about boredom
Speaker 1: or overwhelm or even like if you have social anxiety
Speaker 1: and you're going out and you're always feeling like you
Speaker 1: have to drink, or you have anger or frustration, whatever
Speaker 1: that is, those feelings, usually we go to things to
Speaker 1: help suppress that or to deal with that because we've
Speaker 1: actually never learned how to be or how to be
Speaker 1: in relation, or how to deal with loneliness or boredom
Speaker 1: or sadness or frustration. Maybe in your childhood you weren't
Speaker 1: allowed to be angry, or you weren't allowed to be frustrated,
Speaker 1: or you were always sad, so of course you don't
Speaker 1: want to be a sad again. Or maybe you were
Speaker 1: always bored because you were a single child and you're
Speaker 1: with a parent who was a tyrant. That was me
Speaker 1: and I don't like that feeling at all. But the
Speaker 1: thing is this, we have to learn how to be
Speaker 1: with those feelings and those emotions, because if not, we
Speaker 1: will always go back to that vice. Okay, that is
Speaker 1: really what we are doing. We are running away. We
Speaker 1: are not comfortable with these things. So obviously it depends
Speaker 1: on your own life journey, what you might be suppressing,
Speaker 1: running away from, not comfortable with, and really showing up
Speaker 1: for yourself and committing into this relationship with yourself and saying,
Speaker 1: you know what, I am no longer going to run
Speaker 1: away from myself and these feelings when they come up,
Speaker 1: when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when I'm feeling bored, I'm going
Speaker 1: to go into that feeling. I'm gonna sit with myself.
Speaker 1: I'm going to explore why am I so uncomfortable with
Speaker 1: these feelings right now? And why do I feel like
Speaker 1: I need something to suppress it? And is there other
Speaker 1: things that I can do which we're going to kind
Speaker 1: of talk about, but really going on that journey. Anytime
Speaker 1: I feel triggered, I like to go to a journal
Speaker 1: practice and let my feelings out let my sadness, my anger,
Speaker 1: my frustration, my annoyance with life, annoyance with parents. And
Speaker 1: obviously that's just like one little practice. You might need
Speaker 1: to go to therapy regularly. You might need to obviously
Speaker 1: talk these things out. This is not a one and
Speaker 1: done thing. This is you getting real and you facing
Speaker 1: the things that you keep running away from. And I'll
Speaker 1: say this, it's not comfortable and it's not pretty, but
Speaker 1: you cannot only survive facing these things. But the thing
Speaker 1: is is if you don't, then your life is just
Speaker 1: going to be half asked. You're going to keep falling
Speaker 1: into these cycles. And sometimes people don't get out of
Speaker 1: these cycles. Unfortunately, that was my parents, and I think
Speaker 1: that they had not a lot of tools to.
Speaker 2: Deal with some of the things that they were struggling with.
Speaker 1: And you know, if anyone has lost anyone to addiction
Speaker 1: or mental health illness or anything like that, or even
Speaker 1: your own self, this is not to bash or be like, oh,
Speaker 1: these people just weren't successful. No, it's not that. It's
Speaker 1: usually you don't have tools. You know, you're around the
Speaker 1: wrong environments, things like that. But all I'm going to say,
Speaker 1: and what I've done in my life is do your best.
Speaker 1: Try to show up, try to listen to podcasts, try
Speaker 1: and seek help, seek support, keep waking up every day
Speaker 1: and just trying. That's all you can do. And some people, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: their lives are their lives. But if you're alive today
Speaker 1: and then maybe you can do something about it. So
Speaker 1: let's talk about like all the things that I can
Speaker 1: think of that have helped me on my journey, whether
Speaker 1: it has to do with gardening or with my unhealthy
Speaker 1: relationship with food, and I honestly just think about maybe
Speaker 1: even unhealthy relationships with men, or social media or body image,
Speaker 1: just any form of like bad habit or things that
Speaker 1: do not serve me.
Speaker 2: The one thing that is.
Speaker 1: Very important on your journey of breaking free from these
Speaker 1: habits is really doing your best to create as much
Speaker 1: space and time and awareness about the feeling that you
Speaker 1: have before.
Speaker 2: You want to go do that bad habit.
Speaker 1: And sometimes we just do it automatically, right, So this
Speaker 1: is why I mean like this takes like baby steps,
Speaker 1: This takes just awareness, and that might be all you
Speaker 1: do at first. Is I'm aware of that I'm feeling
Speaker 1: uncomfortable or I'm feeling alone, or I'm feeling annoyed, or
Speaker 1: I'm feeling sad, or i hate myself right now, or
Speaker 1: i feel overwhelmed or whatever, and I'm going to go
Speaker 1: overeat or I'm gonna go do this toxic thing. And
Speaker 1: I mean, is it something we want to even accept?
Speaker 2: Probably not.
Speaker 1: But the truth is is usually the way you change
Speaker 1: is you first need to just be aware of the
Speaker 1: fact that you're feeling these things, and it's not gonna
Speaker 1: be like you changing overnight, but it's really important that
Speaker 1: you start becoming aware of what you're doing before you
Speaker 1: do things, instead of going through life just being so
Speaker 1: automatic with everything. Now, the next thing that is important
Speaker 1: when it comes to breaking bad habits is actually creating
Speaker 1: physical space from you and the thing that does not
Speaker 1: serve you. And I think a lot of us we
Speaker 1: try and say, okay, like Monday, I'm gonna stop beinge
Speaker 1: eating or I'm not gonna smoke anymore, or I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna party anymore, this, that, and we need to be
Speaker 1: so fucking for real. Okay, that usually doesn't work, all right,
Speaker 1: so we have to take it baby steps, baby steps,
Speaker 1: baby steps.
Speaker 2: Because also there's a part.
Speaker 1: Of you that relies on that thing, whether you want
Speaker 1: to admit it or not. Okay, So when you have
Speaker 1: that uncomfortable feeling coming up in your life, because it's
Speaker 1: gonna come up, you know, your feelings of frustration or
Speaker 1: loneliness or boredom or whatever, when life gets messy.
Speaker 2: You're gonna want to have that urge to go to
Speaker 2: that thing.
Speaker 1: And if you are in a state of being like
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna have that thing. I can't touch that thing.
Speaker 1: You can't have that it's so bad.
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: You're gonna think about it more, You're gonna want it more,
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna bash yourself even more when you
Speaker 1: actually do it, because you're probably gonna do it as well.
Speaker 1: And the best example that can always give is when
Speaker 1: you go on a diet and you restrict everything and
Speaker 1: you say no sugar, no carbs, no nothing. You're gonna
Speaker 1: think about that cake a hundred million times more than
Speaker 1: you would if you just leave it and it not
Speaker 1: be this thing in the forefront of your mind, being like,
Speaker 1: I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. If I do,
Speaker 1: then I'm bad, then I'm wrong, and I'm losing all
Speaker 1: my progress. And when it comes to our physical reliance
Speaker 1: on some of these things, it might take a second
Speaker 1: for us to actually kind of detox from these things.
Speaker 2: So what I like to do is to kind of
Speaker 2: slowly back away from the bad habit.
Speaker 1: And for instance, let's say I'm always used to smoking
Speaker 1: on the weekends. I am not going to start telling
Speaker 1: myself you're not allowed to smoke on the weekend. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's I'm gonna smoke on the Friday night or the
Speaker 1: Saturday night, but I'm not going to do three nights
Speaker 1: in a row. If that's like what I was doing,
Speaker 1: or if you do it like every night after work,
Speaker 1: maybe you're gonna pick like one night out of the
Speaker 1: week where you're going to not smoke, and every other
Speaker 1: night you're not even gonna worry about it.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna worry about it.
Speaker 1: And I know the part of you that's perfectional, like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: like I need to stop like doing it. Oh no, no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: trust me, it's gonna be easier for you to do
Speaker 1: it like this then for you to go one hundred
Speaker 1: percent balls to the walls. Now something I like to do,
Speaker 1: and I've done this in terms of actually writing it out,
Speaker 1: but I'm so aware of these things because I'm always
Speaker 1: reminding myself is to create a list of the times
Speaker 1: that it's just not worth it to do this bad habit.
Speaker 1: And for me, like I always know smoking it actually
Speaker 1: like affects my sleep a lot, like I'm somebody who
Speaker 1: I cannot fall asleep.
Speaker 2: I don't know, it just it doesn't do that for me.
Speaker 1: So it really affects my sleep, So it's like not
Speaker 1: worth it to garden on a night where I'm done
Speaker 1: my work at like eight pm, because then it's gonna
Speaker 1: ruin my sleep, or it's not worth it when I
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of time to really enjoy it,
Speaker 1: like the same thing, you know, if it's like only
Speaker 1: two hours before I have to go to sleep because
Speaker 1: it's not worth it for me, or even when it
Speaker 1: comes to drinking, like it's not worth it for me
Speaker 1: to drink on a weekday because the next day I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to work.
Speaker 2: Basically, you want to be so.
Speaker 1: Aware of the consequences of your actions. Now also you
Speaker 1: can make a list and be aware of the times
Speaker 1: that it is more worth it. And I know you
Speaker 1: guys are probably gonna be like, why would I even
Speaker 1: want to like tell myself that, right, and sorry, if
Speaker 1: you guys are watching YouTube, THEO has woken up and
Speaker 1: he has the zumis. But I think that when it
Speaker 1: comes to certain addictions like this might not work for everyone.
Speaker 1: But I think when it comes like drinking or even smoking,
Speaker 1: this col potentially work, or even eating, there's definitely gonna
Speaker 1: be more times where it's worth it, Like maybe smoking
Speaker 1: with a friend and you guys are watching a funny show,
Speaker 1: or you're going to a comedy show where you guys
Speaker 1: are going out or staying in, like I think that
Speaker 1: that might be more worth it than you, like, you know,
Speaker 1: just bed rotting. Or when it comes to drinking, like
Speaker 1: it's probably more worth it to go out for a
Speaker 1: girl's night than it is to have a glass of
Speaker 1: wine every single night if that's what you usually do.
Speaker 1: Or when it comes to eating, like eating out with
Speaker 1: your friends and having ice cream is a lot better
Speaker 1: than doing it and bed rotting at home. Now bringing
Speaker 1: it back to the root cause of why you do
Speaker 1: these things. A lot of the times you won't choose
Speaker 1: to eat the ice cream with your friends or go
Speaker 1: drink with your friends because there's something else deeper that
Speaker 1: you are masking. That's why it's so important for you
Speaker 1: to know that. Okay, So here comes the part that
Speaker 1: I really needed to lock in on and really discover
Speaker 1: and work on, because this was I think my biggest
Speaker 1: problem and why I kept doing things like gardening, and
Speaker 1: that was finding things that I could replace the bed rotting,
Speaker 1: the wasting my time, the gardening, all of those things
Speaker 1: was some thing that actually was serving me. And I
Speaker 1: think that that was my struggle is I didn't really
Speaker 1: have anything that I was doing, Like I would do
Speaker 1: my routines and I would be productive with work and
Speaker 1: this that, But then on the nights that I wasn't
Speaker 1: doing anything or I didn't have any work, I would
Speaker 1: resort to these things because I didn't have any real connections.
Speaker 2: I am not saying that you need to be in
Speaker 2: a relationship.
Speaker 1: You absolutely don't, but I wasn't like putting a lot
Speaker 1: of time or emphasis on friendships or even getting out
Speaker 1: there when it comes to dating, because that was actually
Speaker 1: something that I did want as well. I had no
Speaker 1: real commitments outside of work. I was so isolated and
Speaker 1: I was so focused on work that I was burning
Speaker 1: myself out, So then I didn't even really want to
Speaker 1: do anything. So I feel like my work life balance
Speaker 1: was really not good. So I had to really deconstruct
Speaker 1: a lot of like my obsession with productivity and work,
Speaker 1: and I needed to have some sort of schedule in
Speaker 1: the sense of prioritizing friendship more and prioritizing things to
Speaker 1: be in place instead of me just sitting around, because
Speaker 1: I knew that if I just sat around then I
Speaker 1: would be bored, and then I would want a garden.
Speaker 1: And this just ties into getting busy in life. And
Speaker 1: I think about all the times that I never once
Speaker 1: or never think to garden or do any sort of
Speaker 1: like even like drinking or eating.
Speaker 2: It's always because I am doing things.
Speaker 1: I am working, I am immersed in a activity, I
Speaker 1: am having a conversation, Like there's usually something that I
Speaker 1: am doing that makes me not think about the thing.
Speaker 1: And I feel like when my life is thriving, like
Speaker 1: right now, I don't even think about it, Like I
Speaker 1: don't think about it at all. And that has a
Speaker 1: lot to do, yes, with the healing work that I
Speaker 1: have done, and you know, knowing the consequences of my
Speaker 1: actions and creating that time and space where eventually I
Speaker 1: like want it less.
Speaker 2: But the end of the day, it's like I'm doing
Speaker 2: stuff with my life. My life is full. My life
Speaker 2: is very full.
Speaker 1: So I would just advise you to take a look
Speaker 1: at your structure when it comes to your work, your friendships,
Speaker 1: your relationsationships, your relationship to yourself, self care. Do we
Speaker 1: have a routine, do we have goals for ourselves? Are
Speaker 1: we working on something? And listen, you don't have to
Speaker 1: be the most productive version of you, but like, do
Speaker 1: you have one thing that you're working toward, or any
Speaker 1: sort of hobby or one friend that you can start
Speaker 1: meeting up with and being consistent with. I feel like
Speaker 1: when you have some sort of commitment, it can definitely
Speaker 1: help you break free from this thing because you have
Speaker 1: to be for the most part, you have to be
Speaker 1: immersed in this activity or this job or this project
Speaker 1: or whatever. And even if it's only like for a
Speaker 1: few hours out of the week, and then you go
Speaker 1: back to having a boared life or a lonely life
Speaker 1: and you have nothing to do and you want to
Speaker 1: fill your time up with doing that thing. That's fine,
Speaker 1: but again coming back to we want to keep creating
Speaker 1: as much space and time away from this thing, because
Speaker 1: your mental and your physical body will slowly be able
Speaker 1: to not only detox from this thing, but not feel.
Speaker 2: Like I need it.
Speaker 1: It's this reliance I'm not gonna live without it, which
Speaker 1: leads me into having a life life and goals and
Speaker 1: things that you do that are in opposition of the
Speaker 1: bad habit.
Speaker 2: And this really comes down to thinking.
Speaker 1: About the quality of life that you actually deserve and
Speaker 1: maybe you've kind of been sleeping on yourself.
Speaker 2: Like.
Speaker 1: You deserve to be well. You deserve to have mental clarity.
Speaker 1: You deserve to have proper sleep and to be hydrated.
Speaker 1: Your body deserves that. Your body is a temple. You
Speaker 1: deserve to be happy. You deserve to have your mood stable.
Speaker 1: You deserve to be experiencing life and being able to
Speaker 1: dream and to work towards goals and be productive in society.
Speaker 1: This is what you are here to do. You are
Speaker 1: not here to live a half assed life. You are
Speaker 1: not here to be on autopilot and bedrot and waste
Speaker 1: your time away and feel bad about yourself.
Speaker 2: You don't deserve that.
Speaker 1: So this is really about having a lifestyle change, right, Like,
Speaker 1: who do you want to be? How do you want
Speaker 1: to live this life? What are the habits? What are
Speaker 1: the identity shifts that you need to make to live
Speaker 1: a different And the more times that I have commitments,
Speaker 1: whether it's planned with friends, or I have a workout class,
Speaker 1: or I have a goal to eat more fiber rich
Speaker 1: meals or high protein meals, or I'm surrounding myself with
Speaker 1: good people, places and things. These are all in opposition
Speaker 1: to bad habits. And if I do these bad habits,
Speaker 1: it's going to be really hard for me to show up,
Speaker 1: which makes my life more challenging.
Speaker 2: And then you end up getting to.
Speaker 1: A point where it's like, Okay, I basically have to
Speaker 1: choose because I cannot do these things half assed. Now
Speaker 1: let's move into a very big missing piece that I
Speaker 1: believe I did not know too much of when I
Speaker 1: was even healing from my relationship with food and everything,
Speaker 1: and now looking back in my life, it's like this
Speaker 1: was something I needed that I unfortunately didn't get, and
Speaker 1: that was healthy social systems and environments and relationships and connections.
Speaker 1: And I need everyone to understand that you could do
Speaker 1: all the work on yourself, and you could have your
Speaker 1: routines and you can know all the information, and you
Speaker 1: could listen to your podcast and you can lock in.
Speaker 1: But if you are not connecting, if you are not
Speaker 1: leaning on others, if you are not working on your
Speaker 1: social systems, your environments, your relationships, you will struggle in
Speaker 1: life because we do not thrive by doing things alone.
Speaker 1: And listen, I've had to do a lot of things
Speaker 1: alone in my life. I really didn't have much choice.
Speaker 1: I was in environments where it was toxic and people
Speaker 1: weren't healthy, and I had to grind, and I had
Speaker 1: to pay my bills, and I had to do all
Speaker 1: these things alone.
Speaker 2: It wasn't fair. And on one hand, I'm not saying.
Speaker 1: To not not do those things, because sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to do things alone. But I didn't know and understand
Speaker 1: the importance of how it would help my nervous system
Speaker 1: regulate when I had one friend that I could go
Speaker 1: to and maybe like have a more open conversation about
Speaker 1: the fact that I was struggling when it came to
Speaker 1: my relationship with food or even my home life, or
Speaker 1: you know, pushing myself to call my aunt or go
Speaker 1: to my grandma's house more if I needed to. I
Speaker 1: thought I could do everything alone. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: lean on anyone, and for good reason, because I wasn't
Speaker 1: used to that. But I promise you you need people,
Speaker 1: You need community. You need to reach out to people
Speaker 1: because that will help your nervous system. That will help
Speaker 1: you get out of places where you can't possibly get
Speaker 1: out yourself. Sorry, guys, we had to take a little
Speaker 1: bit of a break because my camera died. But let's
Speaker 1: get back to connection and community and relationships. Really, when
Speaker 1: somebody doesn't have a healthy support system. And I don't
Speaker 1: actually mean people who know everything about your situation and
Speaker 1: know your mental health status and all your struggles and
Speaker 1: every intricate detail.
Speaker 2: Like it doesn't need to be that deep.
Speaker 1: I just mean, like you have like one person that
Speaker 1: you have in your life that you maybe regularly talk to.
Speaker 1: You don't even need to be talking about your issues,
Speaker 1: but just talking to regularly. You know, a friend that
Speaker 1: you see on a week to week basis, and maybe
Speaker 1: you go for a walk together, or maybe you study together.
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't need to be that deep. I feel
Speaker 1: like sometimes we are looking for these like picture perfect relationships,
Speaker 1: but just having people in my circle was very big
Speaker 1: for my healing because it takes you out of your mind.
Speaker 2: It takes you out of your darkness.
Speaker 1: Sometimes when you have a conversation with someone or even
Speaker 1: when you listen to a podcast right like it changes
Speaker 1: the way you think about life. It gets you out
Speaker 1: of your darkness. I think about my mom's mental health,
Speaker 1: and you know, her struggles. A lot of that I
Speaker 1: know has to do with the fact that she was
Speaker 1: dealing with the law on her own. Not only did
Speaker 1: she not know how to necessarily deal with those things,
Speaker 1: and she didn't have some of the tools that we
Speaker 1: have now in this generation. But you know, there was
Speaker 1: a lot of loneliness.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of dark days. There was a
Speaker 2: lot of isolation.
Speaker 1: And when somebody isolates, and I know this because I
Speaker 1: have been in very deep levels of depression and isol.
Speaker 2: In my life. I was not thriving. I was the
Speaker 2: worst version of me.
Speaker 1: And I don't actually mean I was treating people bad
Speaker 1: or anything like that, but I was not healthy.
Speaker 2: I was trying, on one hand.
Speaker 1: To heal, but heal in isolation. I was reading the books,
Speaker 1: and I was obsessing about how I was going to
Speaker 1: change my diets or how I was going to get
Speaker 1: out of certain pain or illness and things like that.
Speaker 1: And it's not to say you don't want to do
Speaker 1: any of those things, but don't do it alone. Get
Speaker 1: outside of your house, get outside in nature, have conversations
Speaker 1: with people, look people in their eyes, go out even
Speaker 1: to a coffee shop and work. Sometimes, go to a
Speaker 1: library and work sometimes really really really really really please
Speaker 1: try and push yourself to slowly get out of your
Speaker 1: little bubble that you've probably created, because it does take
Speaker 1: you a very long way. And realistically, we do not
Speaker 1: heal in isolation. We do not heal on our own.
Speaker 1: And you need people and you need support systems. And
Speaker 1: the more times you take those baby steps to connecting
Speaker 1: with others, your social circles will start.
Speaker 2: To grow more.
Speaker 1: And on that note, it really is so important that
Speaker 1: you do your best and this can take years, okay, guys,
Speaker 1: but it is important that you try to get rid
Speaker 1: of those toxic people, places, and things as much as
Speaker 1: you possibly can. And I think about when I was
Speaker 1: trying to heal and get out and be successful in
Speaker 1: my life, like my earlier twenties, I had to distance
Speaker 1: myself from my mom sometimes, and I had to distance
Speaker 1: myself from people who were like friendships, like old friendship
Speaker 1: where they were just partying and they were drinking and
Speaker 1: they weren't doing much with their lives. They didn't have
Speaker 1: any goals for themselves. It's no shade to these people.
Speaker 1: Everyone's struggling with their own things. But your environments are
Speaker 1: really feeding you, know, your mind and your body and
Speaker 1: your addiction and pushing you to go to certain things
Speaker 1: and pushing you over the edge sometimes, so you know
Speaker 1: it's not your fault.
Speaker 2: Sometimes when you have.
Speaker 1: That urge to go to your vice when you're in
Speaker 1: a toxic environment at work or at home. And I
Speaker 1: know things can't just change in a you know, flip
Speaker 1: of a dime. But for me, I think about even
Speaker 1: the workplaces that I was unhappy in or the financial
Speaker 1: stress that I was under, I was like, Okay, you
Speaker 1: know what, these things are making me hate my life
Speaker 1: more and making me want to suppress more and want
Speaker 1: to do more bad habits and escape. But I don't
Speaker 1: want to be like this, and I don't want my
Speaker 1: life to go this way and I can't and it's
Speaker 1: making my life worse by doing certain vices. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to have to face these things, these uncomfortable feelings,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to have a plan to work myself
Speaker 1: out of these places. So I'm going to focus on
Speaker 1: my goals. I want to focus on my dream life
Speaker 1: or my dream job, or my dream relationship or whatever
Speaker 1: the case is, and I'm going to do what I
Speaker 1: need to do to get myself out of that.
Speaker 2: And that took some years, guys.
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes we're waiting for Like I'm not
Speaker 1: saying like everyone is like this, but I think sometimes
Speaker 1: generation we've been so you know, taught that like things
Speaker 1: can happen an instant, and you know, if.
Speaker 2: Anything is hard, then don't do it.
Speaker 1: And this that, and I'm all for giving yourself rest
Speaker 1: and being loving to yourself. You know all of that,
Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about that next. But sometimes
Speaker 1: life requires you to lock in and let go of
Speaker 1: those people, places, and things that are constantly feeding into
Speaker 1: your addiction and choose your self. And that could be
Speaker 1: simply even just consuming certain content online. Like I remember
Speaker 1: the days where I was going through the toughest days
Speaker 1: of my life, when I was in a bad environment
Speaker 1: with my mom and the addictions that was around me. Guys,
Speaker 1: I was so on routine and I don't mean like
Speaker 1: the dieting and fitness part of me.
Speaker 2: I was really still struggling with that. But I was
Speaker 2: sleeping as best as I could.
Speaker 1: And mind you, people were coming in and out of
Speaker 1: my home that I was living in, and it was
Speaker 1: not safe. I basically always called a trap house because
Speaker 1: that's basically what it was. And I'm only saying that
Speaker 1: because my circumstances weren't perfect and I did the best
Speaker 1: that I could with what I had, so I would
Speaker 1: try my best to get sleep. It wasn't great, but
Speaker 1: I tried my best. I would wake up in the
Speaker 1: mornings and I would do gratitude less and I would
Speaker 1: listen to podcasts every single morning. I would try my
Speaker 1: best to get outside the house. I picked up as
Speaker 1: many shifts as I possibly could to make money so
Speaker 1: that I can pay off some debt. And I just
Speaker 1: kept doing that, and I kept saying no as much
Speaker 1: as I could to people, places and things that did
Speaker 1: not serve me. Did I still go out and party sometimes, Yes?
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 1: Did I hate myself after it, Yes, I did, because
Speaker 1: I was so anal about some of the things that
Speaker 1: I was doing that I you know, sometimes it didn't
Speaker 1: need to be that deep.
Speaker 2: But whatever doesn't really matter.
Speaker 1: I just did my best to lock in and really
Speaker 1: surround myself with people who had shared interest and honestly,
Speaker 1: there was not many people, so I listened to a
Speaker 1: lot of podcasts. I was like educating myself on a
Speaker 1: lot of things. I was reading books and whatever. But
Speaker 1: again I was doing a lot of that in isolation.
Speaker 1: So if I could like give my old version of
Speaker 1: me advice or my younger self advice, it would definitely
Speaker 1: be go talk to and actually be in community, in
Speaker 1: connection with people who maybe like there's a girl in
Speaker 1: your class in college, you know, have more conversations with her,
Speaker 1: or put in a little bit more effort and push
Speaker 1: yourself even though I know you want to do everything
Speaker 1: alone to meet up with a friend once a week
Speaker 1: and you guys, maybe go to get a coffee or
Speaker 1: go to a smoothie place or do a workout together
Speaker 1: instead of like only thinking that the only thing you
Speaker 1: can do socially with a friend is like go to
Speaker 1: the club, Like, don't do that anymore. And what I
Speaker 1: would do is I would just like try not to
Speaker 1: go to the clubs. But then I wouldn't replace it
Speaker 1: with something that might be more beneficial to me, which
Speaker 1: was that connection and in community. I think that that
Speaker 1: would have taken me a longer way. And obviously in
Speaker 1: my life right now, I have beautiful connections and friendships
Speaker 1: and I'm in a really healthy relationship and I'm just
Speaker 1: in a such better place mentally, physically, emotionally because I've
Speaker 1: done all these things. But another huge thing that people miss,
Speaker 1: and this is a US and I have learned and
Speaker 1: I'm always preaching this and this will get you the
Speaker 1: way okay, Like this will get you all the way
Speaker 1: out of bad habits and unhealthy relationships with things is
Speaker 1: understanding that this is a process and you're going to
Speaker 1: mess up and you're not going to be perfect, and
Speaker 1: you need to release that control and that perfectionist part
Speaker 1: of you that always want to believe it's possible to
Speaker 1: do everything one hundred percent and all or nothing and
Speaker 1: cold turkey and like you're just going to be perfect
Speaker 1: and it's just never going to happen again, and you're
Speaker 1: not going to have any mess ups. You need to
Speaker 1: have unconditional love with yourself, for the version of you
Speaker 1: that you were before you knew any of this new information,
Speaker 1: the version of you that's going to be going through
Speaker 1: this process, and even the new version of you that's
Speaker 1: going to inevitably make mistakes. And why that's so important
Speaker 1: is if you do not get out of your own
Speaker 1: way and pick yourself back up as quickly as you can,
Speaker 1: you're going to keep going in these same cycles, in
Speaker 1: these same ruts, and you're gonna do the same thing
Speaker 1: over and over and over again. And the way you
Speaker 1: get out of these cycles is you pick yourself back
Speaker 1: up as soon as you can. You adjust and listen.
Speaker 1: Last week's episode is all about that. So if you
Speaker 1: not listen to that episode, then I would highly recommend
Speaker 1: to leave it down below, or you could just like
Speaker 1: check last week's episode all about getting out of ruts,
Speaker 1: and the more times you do that, you will be
Speaker 1: better at not falling so deeply into ruts, whether that's
Speaker 1: depression or you know, you going back into your binge
Speaker 1: eating or your vices or things like that, and you
Speaker 1: can pick yourself back up and you won't be doing
Speaker 1: that anymore. Like I promise you when I say I
Speaker 1: don't binge eat anymore and I don't purge, I don't
Speaker 1: do any of that nowhere near, And I kid you not.
Speaker 1: I thought I would never be able to get out
Speaker 1: of that cycle, like genuinely, like if food was my obsession,
Speaker 1: I thought about it all the time. I thought about
Speaker 1: my body image all the time. And you know, there
Speaker 1: was definitely other times when it came to gardening that
Speaker 1: I was kind of like really like down bad with
Speaker 1: like the doing it all the time, and I was like,
Speaker 1: is this ever gonna be a thing? But now it's
Speaker 1: amount a point where I'm like I don't even think
Speaker 1: about it, and does this mean that I'm never going
Speaker 1: to garden again.
Speaker 2: Maybe not.
Speaker 1: But like the more times I move through these ruts
Speaker 1: and I learn more about myself and I up level
Speaker 1: a little bit more, and I also then go deeper
Speaker 1: into my health and wellness and really cultivate a life
Speaker 1: where it's fulfilled and aligned and I'm on purpose and
Speaker 1: I have better relationships and friendships, and I put that
Speaker 1: effort in. The more I don't need it, the more
Speaker 1: I don't even want it. And you know, I know
Speaker 1: there's cases in some senses of the matter, like let's
Speaker 1: say when it comes to gardening, where people like really
Speaker 1: feel like enlightened and they feel like they need it.
Speaker 1: That's fine, you can do that. That that can be
Speaker 1: your thing if that's what you want. But for me,
Speaker 1: that's not really what it is, at least for now
Speaker 1: in my life. But what I will say is I
Speaker 1: don't have a mindset of saying I can never do
Speaker 1: it again or expect myself to be perfect and never
Speaker 1: like screw up quote unquote screw up. I don't even
Speaker 1: really look at it like that anymore. So when you
Speaker 1: fall back into these vices, understand it's a normal part
Speaker 1: of the process. But really become aware of why you
Speaker 1: keep doing the things that you do. Get real with yourself,
Speaker 1: have a relationship towards yourself, which means having your journal,
Speaker 1: practice speaking to yourself every night before you go to bed,
Speaker 1: speaking to yourself in the morning, holding yourself more accountable
Speaker 1: with friends, or investing in therapy, or investing in yourself
Speaker 1: in any sense of the matter. It's going to be
Speaker 1: important that you do that, and you keep showing up
Speaker 1: and forgive yourself over and over. And lastly, before we go,
Speaker 1: I found a little Pinterest quote or an Instagram quote
Speaker 1: that I think is really good to remind all of us,
Speaker 1: and it says society's obsession with constant self improvement has
Speaker 1: fooled us into thinking that healing means never getting triggered
Speaker 1: again or no longer being impacted by or painful pass
Speaker 1: But respectfully, as a trained trauma therapist, that is not healing.
Speaker 1: That is perfectionism disguised as healing. And on one hand,
Speaker 1: it's not to be like, oh, we're doomed, We're always
Speaker 1: going to go back to being triggered. No, it's that
Speaker 1: life will trigger you and things will come up, but
Speaker 1: it's how we respond, okay, And we can learn to
Speaker 1: respond differently, better, stronger, faster. We can pick ourselves up
Speaker 1: better and faster than we did previously.
Speaker 2: And within these things.
Speaker 1: By the way, there's a lot of wisdom and there's
Speaker 1: lessons we can learn. Why am I feeling like I
Speaker 1: need to do these things? Maybe I'm not aligned in
Speaker 1: my life right now? Right Like I come back to
Speaker 1: when I move downtown Toronto, I had all this free time,
Speaker 1: and what am I doing with my life? You know,
Speaker 1: it actually did call me to go a little bit deeper.
Speaker 1: Where do I want to spend my time? Who would
Speaker 1: I want to be spending my time with? These are
Speaker 1: really good things, This is important things. Even when it
Speaker 1: comes to relationships, well, maybe the relationships that you're in
Speaker 1: are not serving you anymore. So maybe it's actually about
Speaker 1: let's transform my social circles. Or maybe these interests are
Speaker 1: not really like interesting me anymore, and maybe I need
Speaker 1: to find new hobbies or falling into new workouts or
Speaker 1: new routines or new wellness things like. There's so much
Speaker 1: information that our bodies and our minds and our souls
Speaker 1: are trying to tell us, but instead we get mad
Speaker 1: at ourselves. We don't ask these questions and then instead
Speaker 1: we try to block off the noise and we go
Speaker 1: and suppress, which again we don't want to hate ourselves
Speaker 1: for doing this. This is a natural process, Like we're
Speaker 1: trying to keep ourselves safe, but we need to learn
Speaker 1: how to create safety within ourselves, and the way that
Speaker 1: we do that is no longer running away from ourselves.
Speaker 2: So with that.
Speaker 1: Said, I hope this episode helped in any way. You know,
Speaker 1: addictions is so much deeper than this episode. Okay, I
Speaker 1: just want to say that, Like I said, I have
Speaker 1: seen really complex, really deep, really real addictions in my
Speaker 1: life where it did lead to ruining lives, seeing people
Speaker 1: completely change, even outside of parents. It's like I seen
Speaker 1: other people that I grew up with. They either lost
Speaker 1: their lives or they lost themselves. They lost their respect
Speaker 1: for themselves, they lost their jobs, money, relationships, everything.
Speaker 2: It's real.
Speaker 1: It is much deeper, like I said, than this episode alone.
Speaker 1: But I'm just speaking off of my experience, and I
Speaker 1: just think for anyone who is going through it, you're
Speaker 1: not alone. A lot of people, by the way, have
Speaker 1: mid low high levels of any sort of addiction or
Speaker 1: vice whatever you want to call it, whether it's money, gambling,
Speaker 1: sex even there's a lot of people who struggle with that,
Speaker 1: or unhealthy relationships with just people in general, like constantly
Speaker 1: going back to toxic things or things that are not
Speaker 1: good for you, or caffeine addictions, food addiction, all of
Speaker 1: these things.
Speaker 2: Right, So you're really not alone.
Speaker 1: And I think a part of living a good life
Speaker 1: is having the courage to face these things and really
Speaker 1: going out there world and trying your best to give
Speaker 1: yourself some of those resources, meaning you know, reaching out
Speaker 1: to people, listening to podcasts, no longer giving yourself excuses
Speaker 1: about healing and doing the best that you can with
Speaker 1: what you have and grinding and putting in that work
Speaker 1: and going through those uncomfortable feelings. And I think a
Speaker 1: lot of us can do it. And that's what we're
Speaker 1: actually doing right now if you're listening to this podcast.
Speaker 1: So I'm proud of you, guys. I'm proud of myself.
Speaker 1: I'm really happy in my life. I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: I've changed so much in my life that many people
Speaker 1: won't even really see unless I speak about it. But
Speaker 1: even then, only I can really see.
Speaker 2: That that progress.
Speaker 1: So I just am saying that I'm speaking from experience
Speaker 1: and things can get a lot better. And if you
Speaker 1: have a story of you getting through any sort of vice,
Speaker 1: whether you're making progress, whether it's a little or a lot,
Speaker 1: or you've gotten completely out of something, or you're still struggling,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, please leave it in the comments because
Speaker 1: I think that it will help strengthen this community and
Speaker 1: coming back to connection in the community. This is why
Speaker 1: I keep showing up with you guys. I am here
Speaker 1: with you guys, and you have a lot of people
Speaker 1: in this community that maybe you will never see physically,
Speaker 1: but just know we have this collective community and we're
Speaker 1: really doing this together, and I think it's helpful when
Speaker 1: we get comments on YouTube or even Spotify, Apple, all
Speaker 1: those things. And one last thing, you can follow me
Speaker 1: and Instagram Lee shag Googin if you want to keep
Speaker 1: up with my stories and stuff. I just post health, wellness,
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff what I'm getting up to.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'll see you guys and the next one.
Speaker 2: Bye.