Speaker 1: I'd rather have a Raleigh.
Speaker 2: I'd rather have a Raleigh.
Speaker 1: I'd rather have a Raleigh. I'd rather have.
Speaker 3: A Raleigh because Raleigh is the only cigarette that gives
Speaker 3: you all. Three from Hollywood, The Raleigh Cigarette Program starring
Speaker 3: Red Skelton with David Forrester and his orchestra, Gg Pearson,
Speaker 3: Brenda Felton are Singing, Star Aida Alice, Pat McGee and
Speaker 3: our guest Wonderful Smith and yours truly right O'Connor. It's
Speaker 3: a pleasure to bring you metroport In Mayor popular comedian
Speaker 3: in the Star The Role Cigarette Program, Red.
Speaker 4: Scalffy, Thank you very much, Thank you, and good evening,
Speaker 4: ladies and gentlemen, and happy New Year.
Speaker 3: Happy New Year to you, Happy New Year to you too,
Speaker 3: Happy New Year to you, well, Happy.
Speaker 1: New Year to you. How we picked that around enough
Speaker 1: for this year? Why how did you bring the New
Speaker 1: Year in? I had nothing to do with it. I
Speaker 1: woke up this morning and there it was. You know.
Speaker 2: Well, during the last year, a lot of water has
Speaker 2: passed over the dam.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in sunny California too, a lot of people got soaked.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: While I was.
Speaker 2: Reading an eventful three hundred and sixty five ways. You know,
Speaker 2: the war ended, a lot of the boys came back
Speaker 2: from overseas. Racing was stopped.
Speaker 1: Did Tracy went on a diet? Wow?
Speaker 2: I wonder what the New Year has a store for us?
Speaker 1: Butterye hope.
Speaker 2: Say, did you hear in the Oklahoma Saint Mary's game today?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 1: Yes? And it was really exciting. I was sitting in
Speaker 1: front of my radio and I could just picture Bing Crosby, Crosby,
Speaker 1: Bing Crosby and ingred Bergman sitting on the fifty yard
Speaker 1: line ringing their bells for the home team.
Speaker 2: It wasn't Hollywood Boulevard crowded last night.
Speaker 1: You mean say the Old street was creeping?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the New Year's festivities were really rollicking.
Speaker 1: Well you said that people were climbing up those Christmas
Speaker 1: trees like monkeys. They had to give me a banana
Speaker 1: before I'd come down. Four guys got arrested for jay
Speaker 1: staggering last night. Hey, there was one fellow walked into
Speaker 1: into a place and he says to the bartender, a marine,
Speaker 1: he's here, I got a pleasant right, he's got a present,
Speaker 1: A live lobster here. So the bartender says the most
Speaker 1: thanks a lot he's I'll take it home to eat.
Speaker 1: The guy she's, don't do that, take him to a movie.
Speaker 1: He's all already eating.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you to make any resolutions for that bad
Speaker 2: It wasn't in the Did you make any resolutions for
Speaker 2: nineteen forty six?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I got a couple. I'll tell you I won't
Speaker 1: be able to keep them. Well, Happy New Year to
Speaker 1: you and you Red. They tell me, how did you
Speaker 1: see the New year?
Speaker 6: In?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 7: I spent the evening with my mother.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no other girl can make that stick. That is
Speaker 1: still breathing. What did I enjoy? The Red?
Speaker 7: We listened to the radio and really had a wonderful time.
Speaker 7: There was only one thing wrong.
Speaker 8: Just as I got to bed, about twelve thirty, some
Speaker 8: crazy fellows started palming at my door.
Speaker 7: Why I could have killed him.
Speaker 1: Gee, that's awful. What did you do? I nearly got killed? Say?
Speaker 1: Did you make any New Year's resolutions? Rode?
Speaker 2: Oh, I certainly? Did you know? I resolved be more
Speaker 2: helpful to people?
Speaker 1: Oh, well, you know, sort of a two tone ton,
Speaker 1: mister Anthony. Huh, Well, look I've got a problem. I've
Speaker 1: got a problem. You are a happy little blimp, But
Speaker 1: that I can't find an apartment, mister O'Connor, and I'm
Speaker 1: sick of living in that two chest with the built
Speaker 1: in burden, mat do you?
Speaker 3: But I can't do anything about the housing short he's read.
Speaker 3: But when it comes to brand new cars, that's different,
Speaker 3: you know, friends, The makers of Rowley Cigarettes are giving
Speaker 3: brand new cars away every day. Yes, each and every
Speaker 3: day someone wins the Chevrolet. That's seven winners, seven cars
Speaker 3: given away every week. You can win one just as
Speaker 3: easily as the winner. I'll announce in.
Speaker 2: A few seconds. This is all you have to do.
Speaker 6: Complete this sentence in twenty five words or left. We
Speaker 6: should all buy victory bombs because, got it. We should
Speaker 6: all buy victory bombs because Send your entries to Raleigh Cigarettes,
Speaker 6: Box twelve Toundred, Chicago, Illinois, together with two complete from
Speaker 6: two packs of Rawleigh cigarettes.
Speaker 3: Now, don't put it off. Write your prize winning sentence
Speaker 3: and mail it tonight. Win yourself a brand new car,
Speaker 3: just as this winner of December twenty eighth.
Speaker 1: The winner of December the twenty eighth was my cousin Joe.
Speaker 1: And will he be surprised he didn't even send in
Speaker 1: an entry? No, I'm kidding I'm kidding. The real winner
Speaker 1: was Carl Bergstrom, Junior of Superior, Wisconsin. And congratulations mister Bergstrom.
Speaker 6: More winners and outsta on this program tonight.
Speaker 3: And remember, smokers, Raleighs are the only cigarettes that give
Speaker 3: you all free throat.
Speaker 2: Protection, better taste, lasting freshness.
Speaker 1: Thank you, gentlemen. And now it's time for Anita Ellis
Speaker 1: to answer a musical question. How deep is the ocean?
Speaker 1: How much do I love you?
Speaker 7: I'll tell you no lie?
Speaker 1: Hoary is the ocean? Ahhh is the skull?
Speaker 8: Many times the day I think of you?
Speaker 9: Many rolls a sprinkle.
Speaker 1: With good.
Speaker 7: How far would I travel just to be?
Speaker 1: How far is the june.
Speaker 6: The fee start.
Speaker 1: Of a long How much would I crown? Hardy is
Speaker 1: the ocean? Oh? High is the sky? The strength of
Speaker 1: my love for.
Speaker 5: You is nore than a hot and all? Oh it is.
Speaker 1: A very much, Thank you very much. The first story
Speaker 1: we read this year from our skelt and scrap Book
Speaker 1: of Satire is entitled Bells and Resolution. Our characters are fictional.
Speaker 1: If you think there's any similarity to person's living.
Speaker 2: Don't you believe it.
Speaker 1: Chapter thirty three is entitled The Bells of Big fourk, Montana.
Speaker 1: Once upon a time there lived a fearless cowboy named
Speaker 1: Dead Eye, and every year he would ride into town
Speaker 1: the help of the New York Years Celebration a week
Speaker 1: in advance, the Fliphead County.
Speaker 5: Whoo oo.
Speaker 1: Awcome on horse and horse finds ever Nickoley, get on him.
Speaker 1: Juke boxers. Think I'll go into Big Jim Brown's bar. Here,
Speaker 1: Howdy bunks, Hey, piano player, how about playing my favorite too? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: not that one, the other one Accident Symphony. I love that.
Speaker 1: Oh there's Migual Margie the Clippers. So long since I've
Speaker 1: seen a woman. I don't know whether you hug him
Speaker 1: before you say howdy or after howdy dead I I
Speaker 1: guess it's after Happy New Year. Girl. Guy, he looks
Speaker 1: sweeping up the kids.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and you look dumb enough to try umph.
Speaker 1: Yeah, same old gall.
Speaker 7: And you're the same old Dead Eye. Still bull legged?
Speaker 1: White, ain't so bull legged?
Speaker 7: Then put your knees together.
Speaker 1: Well look at that four feet taller.
Speaker 7: What's new, Dead Eye?
Speaker 1: What's this? I heard about you having a pistol duel
Speaker 1: with a host.
Speaker 7: Fate thought you were going to reform.
Speaker 10: I thought you resolved in nineteen forty five to get
Speaker 10: a steady job and take home an honest man's living.
Speaker 1: I did you show me where the honest man hides it,
Speaker 1: and I'll.
Speaker 3: Take it home.
Speaker 7: In nineteen forty six, did you fight this guy in
Speaker 7: honest stool?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Even let him shoot first, and I stepped from
Speaker 1: behind the tree and plugged him. It was fair and square.
Speaker 1: I got a fair deal and he got a square box.
Speaker 6: Well, are you going to bring in the new year
Speaker 6: with the honest law Biden citizens of this town?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: By the way, how many good low Biden citizens are
Speaker 1: there in this town?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Mis google a cemetery in count huh? Hey,
Speaker 1: do you homebreys? Want to make a thousand dollars? A
Speaker 1: thousand dollars sounds like somebody pretty desperate for a pound
Speaker 1: of butter, don't it? Four days for New.
Speaker 11: Year's even I'll pay a thousand dollars to anyone who
Speaker 11: rides to the top of McGregor Mountain and ring that
Speaker 11: bell on the old Mission tower at midnight. You got
Speaker 11: your man there, a stranger, I'm the best cowboy in
Speaker 11: the West. Of course, I don't have a pretty English
Speaker 11: accent like Errol Flynn.
Speaker 1: I am brave you.
Speaker 2: Ring that bell a thousand dollars as your jedi?
Speaker 7: Are you not? The Blackfoot Engines say that bell is bad,
Speaker 7: not to anyone who goes near it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I'm hiring somebody that don't know about
Speaker 1: the so called superstition of that bell and him ring it.
Speaker 7: Gosh, did I you think of everything?
Speaker 1: Don't you know? Just them pictures in that squire who
Speaker 1: just came in over there? Oh they enables howdy stranger
Speaker 1: around here? Yeap, fine from Texas handhandle only when I
Speaker 1: can't fine work. They nice gear you're wearing there, them
Speaker 1: boots they genuine cala hid sure is. I'll prove it.
Speaker 2: I'll rub them together.
Speaker 1: Great a too. Say, how would you like a job
Speaker 1: around here? Bringing in the new year? We need someone
Speaker 1: to ring a bell. How much do you pay? I'll
Speaker 1: pay what I feel like? What do you want?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: I want you to feel good?
Speaker 12: Shall I say twenty dollars?
Speaker 1: If you want to go ahead say twenty dollars, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say ten.
Speaker 12: Okay, it's a deal that sounds like a better deal
Speaker 12: than if you don't pay me.
Speaker 2: You don't owe me so much?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, shall we get going. The horses are outside.
Speaker 2: Okay, I saw your horse.
Speaker 12: He looks just like that long rangers heard silver.
Speaker 1: No, this is his brother, stainless steel. Well, we're offering
Speaker 1: the big bell. Holong all along said.
Speaker 13: I stay deadI whey is this bell?
Speaker 12: We've been planning for three days and I'm mighty hungry.
Speaker 12: Why I'm so skinny now I'm holding my pants up
Speaker 12: with my.
Speaker 2: Teeth and it ain't easy.
Speaker 1: I'll come no teeth. Well, why don't you forget about food?
Speaker 1: Think about something else, think about women. I'd rather think
Speaker 1: about food instead of women. Ye, boy, I hope I
Speaker 1: never get that hungry. There it is big bell in
Speaker 1: the robins Old mission. There. Look how big that thing is?
Speaker 1: Kind of cold? Here we still got five minutes before
Speaker 1: nineteen forty six.
Speaker 12: Dada, what's that big black thing walking around the front
Speaker 12: door that looks like a bear?
Speaker 1: A bear? Don't be silly. You're just so hungry. You
Speaker 1: think you see food. That's a marah, It looks like
Speaker 1: a bell. It's a mara, of course. Uh. Some miragers
Speaker 1: are noisier than others. Look, you go over and make
Speaker 1: friends with that bear, and I'll go up and ring
Speaker 1: the bell. Who me. That's who I'm looking at. Look
Speaker 1: that bear just is scary. You are a him.
Speaker 12: I don't see no goose pimples on him.
Speaker 1: I will go on over there. If you would to
Speaker 1: go over there real fast, that bear would run yeah
Speaker 1: home and tell the other bears what he's found for dinner. Look,
Speaker 1: i'll tell you what. He's getting pretty close to it.
Speaker 1: You go ring the bell and I'll take care of
Speaker 1: the bear. That's funny. I'm going forward, but my feet
Speaker 1: are going backwards. All right, bear, Now none of that stuff.
Speaker 1: Just come a little closer, Just come a little closer.
Speaker 1: Well that was a little too close. Did he get you? No?
Speaker 1: But help me get eat my pants out of his teeth.
Speaker 1: I'll fix him. This forty five will make him lay
Speaker 1: down and take notes. Man bare Now all right, I'll
Speaker 1: lay down, bear, But give me my gunbag.
Speaker 12: Are you that I'm up to the bell and it's
Speaker 12: midnight and.
Speaker 1: We're going to get that thousand bucks? Go ahead, ring it,
Speaker 1: I dog, we've.
Speaker 7: Got look out for the bell.
Speaker 1: I'll look bear, I've had enough out of you. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna open your mountain, break your jaws with my bare hands.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I can always count that money with my toes,
Speaker 1: say red.
Speaker 3: Let's start the new year off right for someone by
Speaker 3: giving them a swell fry.
Speaker 1: Okay, missus lou Buttons, you win, Van Johnson.
Speaker 3: A red We're gonna announce another winner in Raleigh's Car
Speaker 3: Day contests. You know, friends, Each and every day someone
Speaker 3: wins a brand new car. Every day, mind you, seven
Speaker 3: cars each week. To date, fifty cars have already been
Speaker 3: given away by the makers of Rawley Cigarettes, and one
Speaker 3: of these might just as well be yours. They're new
Speaker 3: nineteen forty six Chevrolets, and they're so easy to win.
Speaker 2: This is all you have to do.
Speaker 6: Complete this sentence in twenty five additional words or left.
Speaker 6: We shall all buy victory bonds. Because send your entries
Speaker 6: to Rawley Cigarettes, Box twelve hundred, Chicago, Illinois, together with
Speaker 6: two complete rappers from two packs of Rawleigh Cigarettes.
Speaker 1: Enter again and again.
Speaker 3: Because winner are chosen from entries received each day, Yes,
Speaker 3: each day a new winner.
Speaker 6: Entries are judged on uniqueness, originality, and most condensing statement
Speaker 6: Judge's decision final juplicate prizes. In case of ties, entries
Speaker 6: become property of Rawleigh Cigarettes. Contests limited to United States
Speaker 6: and members of the Armed Forces abroad.
Speaker 1: Send in your.
Speaker 3: Prize winning sentence tonight and win yourself a new car
Speaker 3: just as this winner of December twenty ninth a new
Speaker 3: Chevrolet goes to Dan Benson of Salt Lake City, Utah.
Speaker 3: Congratulations mister Benson. More winners announced tomorrow night on The
Speaker 3: Raleigh Room starring Hill the Guard.
Speaker 2: Be sure to listen.
Speaker 1: Thank you, and now back to Forever two chapter thirty
Speaker 1: five of the Skeleton scrap Book. As we turn the page,
Speaker 1: we find a clipping from Believe It or Not It
Speaker 1: says David Forster is the only musician in the world
Speaker 1: whose orchestra is composed of thirty two relatives. Night, the
Speaker 1: old Forester family will sagger through the Camptown races. Thank you.
Speaker 1: You have a few relatives in the audience to tonight.
Speaker 1: I see chapter thirty six and the scrap book is
Speaker 1: entitled Resolutions Starting the New Year right as a feat
Speaker 1: for some people, but wronger right. Junior shows Granny that
Speaker 1: he is still the mean wat of care in the back,
Speaker 1: our back, our back up, bringing in the back. I'm
Speaker 1: in a.
Speaker 7: Cower, Junia, where are you? Where are you?
Speaker 1: I'm in here taking a cower.
Speaker 10: O cow that's a good going, happy new year.
Speaker 1: Shame do you grandma commands?
Speaker 10: Oh no, dear, Granny'll stay out here while you're taking
Speaker 10: your shower.
Speaker 1: No, come on, it's all right, Come on it. I
Speaker 1: got my cloth. God what junior?
Speaker 7: Oh, dear, and I'm nineteen forty six, would be different?
Speaker 7: Look at you, you're soaking wet.
Speaker 1: I am messing.
Speaker 10: When you take a shower, You're supposed to take your
Speaker 10: clothes off.
Speaker 1: Now, she tells me, did you wash.
Speaker 7: Your face school?
Speaker 1: That I did?
Speaker 7: What's all that dirt behind your ears?
Speaker 1: That's where I wash it too, Junior?
Speaker 7: Do you know what day this is?
Speaker 1: Certainly? I did. I wasn't born yetterday, you know?
Speaker 7: Well what day is it?
Speaker 1: Well, let's see thirty days hish September and uncle George
Speaker 1: for driving while he was junior?
Speaker 7: I asked you what d this is? Does you know certainly?
Speaker 1: And why you we both waste each other's time discussing
Speaker 1: something we both know by women are sosparating. Sometimes you'll beating.
Speaker 7: So yeah, and I can look that word up from here.
Speaker 7: This is the first day of the new year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it should be full of new possibilities, you know,
Speaker 1: I hope that you've made a resolution to do bigger
Speaker 1: and death thing that die high your die had. If
Speaker 1: me resolutions work out like I had them plan this year,
Speaker 1: the fire department should be pretty busy. What do you
Speaker 1: mean you will hear about it later? I had been
Speaker 1: reading up on the atomic bomb. Not only will you
Speaker 1: hear about it, the whole town. We'll hear about it.
Speaker 1: Part of me here, part of me, dire, part of
Speaker 1: me that will be junior all over there.
Speaker 10: You're only kidding you, Yes, and kid, do you realize
Speaker 10: what New Year's they mean?
Speaker 1: Yes? I does. It means that Grandpa won't be able
Speaker 1: to get out of bed for two days.
Speaker 7: That's enough.
Speaker 10: Now, now get early and change your clothes. They'll go
Speaker 10: say happy New Year to dim the hockey.
Speaker 9: Oh oh the good part of the Now, hold onto
Speaker 9: my hands.
Speaker 1: I will not do it. I will not. I heard
Speaker 1: a big boy, Now, I heard a year old.
Speaker 10: Right. Well, then, darling, why don't you make a new
Speaker 10: resolution in nineteen.
Speaker 7: Forty six to help other people?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 10: Won't you take poor old grandma's hand and help grandma.
Speaker 7: Across the street.
Speaker 1: Okay, I will do it, now, Hold tight, grandma, don't
Speaker 1: get hurt you.
Speaker 10: Now, now, that I have a good hold on your
Speaker 10: Nickton Jr. I might as well tell you that I
Speaker 10: was just using child psychology on you.
Speaker 1: Oh were you or not? If you got a good
Speaker 1: hold on me meeting grandma, I may as well tell
Speaker 1: you that me hand ain't in it. He got a
Speaker 1: knife out here? Any well?
Speaker 7: I hope Kim's home, Jim?
Speaker 1: Who's just Jim? You talk about us?
Speaker 10: This gentleman is a very dear friend of mine, Julia.
Speaker 10: If i'd met him before i'd married.
Speaker 7: Your grandfather, well sometimes someone.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's not right, because if you had
Speaker 1: no married grandpa, then you would never met mummy, and
Speaker 1: if without mummy you wouldn't have.
Speaker 7: To meet all right, So I made a mistake.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you look younger every Yeah, you know, Benjamin Franklin,
Speaker 5: you should tell her the same thing.
Speaker 1: You know. You don't look a day over forty. No,
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, you don't look at day over thirty five?
Speaker 1: How wrong can you bring around? Oh? I am sorry?
Speaker 1: Happy New Year to you?
Speaker 7: Yeah, Junior, won't you come in?
Speaker 1: By Junior? You must be a lot of good company
Speaker 1: for your grandmother, trusting old. Ain't you got there? You know?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Verna. Remember the first New Year's we met.
Speaker 7: Yes, you gave me a lips on a bicycle.
Speaker 1: A bicycle belt for two eye hawks. Well no, well,
Speaker 1: let's not get chickening about.
Speaker 7: It, Julia, Jim, you must come over to dinner sometime.
Speaker 1: Thank you? Do you like turkey cam? Yes? Then went
Speaker 1: over we cooked. Junior. By the way, where is your husband?
Speaker 1: And he's home sleeping in offy? Junior?
Speaker 7: At times I count figure.
Speaker 1: You out around kid you were Oh, look you got
Speaker 1: a kiddie car.
Speaker 7: Now don't get don't get up with him. He might
Speaker 7: scratch and get blood poison.
Speaker 1: Why I love me? Okay? Why you a dandy cat?
Speaker 1: Look how funny you ed? I'm going to take you
Speaker 1: home with me. Boy here, boy, he's fat. Where he goes,
Speaker 1: he's gone right out of my arm. Oh, Jerry, up
Speaker 1: on that kof I will climb up there and get him.
Speaker 1: It was the catch part he had on his overfues'. Heavens,
Speaker 1: what happened, Junior?
Speaker 7: What on earth are you doing?
Speaker 1: There won't be no inflation now because everything's come.
Speaker 7: Down, but that you have to be punnised.
Speaker 1: I know. I wish back to you. Go ahead and
Speaker 1: spank and go ahead, run your beautiful hands.
Speaker 7: But Bank, I don't have beautiful hair.
Speaker 3: Yes you don't.
Speaker 1: It's so sharp, so smooth, so jurgons like you know, but.
Speaker 7: Going well, run along.
Speaker 1: He's really got deef panhands. But I got my final
Speaker 1: column to worry about it. Now where that Pat goes? Oh,
Speaker 1: there's a big box with lid on. I'll put him
Speaker 1: in there. Then I know where he is when I
Speaker 1: ready to take him from where'd he goes? There he is?
Speaker 1: Now come on, now, I got you in the box.
Speaker 1: You go there there.
Speaker 8: He Grandma let me out of this box where they.
Speaker 3: Were doing everythings out at the same time, reps felt
Speaker 3: David Corus during his office running and Alice Burnt of Falcon,
Speaker 3: Kat Pearson, Pat McGee and I yours, Tuli rid Of gone,
Speaker 3: I'm theil next Tuesday.
Speaker 1: Then this is Red Skelton saying goodbye. Now, thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: and remember the boys still overseas right, and.
Speaker 3: Remember listening to Hell the Guard tomorrow night and the
Speaker 3: people are funny with out linkletter Friday night over most
Speaker 3: of these stations that Scalton is hurting this program for
Speaker 3: the courtesy of Metro goover.
Speaker 6: Mayor Sir Walter Rawleigh that's the tobacco of the lesure pipe.
Speaker 1: As clean as a whistle.
Speaker 6: It's carefully blended from rich ripe burlies and mellowed with
Speaker 6: just a touch of rum to enhance the natural, full
Speaker 6: bodied flavor. Yet, Sir Walter Rawleigh, the quality pipe tobacco
Speaker 6: of America.
Speaker 1: That scalcl is rocking by the Brown and Widerton.
Speaker 2: The nack of operation