WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:09.480 The two cent stamp by Ellis Parker Butler. The house 2 00:00:09.560 --> 00:00:12.519 in Tenth Street where Filo Gubb was doing a job 3 00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:15.119 of paper hanging when he made the happy error of 4 00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:19.320 capturing the dynamiters while seeking the un burglars was the 5 00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:22.960 home of Aunt Martha Turner, a member of the Ladies 6 00:00:23.079 --> 00:00:27.760 Temperance League of Riverbank. The members of the Ladies Temperance League, 7 00:00:27.800 --> 00:00:31.719 and Aunt Martha Turner particularly, had recently begun a movement 8 00:00:31.760 --> 00:00:34.880 to have City Attorney Mullen impeached and thrown out of office, 9 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:38.119 for they claimed that while he had been elected by 10 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:42.200 the Prohibition Republican Party and had pledged himself to close 11 00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:47.240 every saloon, he had not closed one single saloon. Aunt 12 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:50.399 Martha Turner and her associates believed this was because Attorney 13 00:00:50.439 --> 00:00:53.840 Mullen was himself a drinker of beer, and it was 14 00:00:53.880 --> 00:00:56.719 to get proof of this that the hot headed Ladies 15 00:00:56.759 --> 00:01:00.159 had engaged a youth named Slippery Williams to make a 16 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:04.920 raid on his home. Detective Gubb was, however, quite unconscious 17 00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:06.760 of all this when he proceeded to the home of 18 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:10.040 Aunt Martha to complete his work. There, he was in 19 00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:12.799 an unhappy frame of mind, for he had in his 20 00:01:12.920 --> 00:01:16.159 pocket nothing but one two cent stamp, and he had 21 00:01:16.239 --> 00:01:20.799 immediate need for one hundred dollars. Mister Gubb had early 22 00:01:20.840 --> 00:01:23.480 that morning visited the home of mister Meadowbrook, from whom 23 00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:26.680 he hoped to have news of Cyrilla. But the colored 24 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:30.200 butler informed him that mister Meadowbrook had been called to Chicago. 25 00:01:31.480 --> 00:01:34.560 He don't left wood. How some deva said the butler 26 00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:37.799 that if you come and was willing to pay thirty cents, 27 00:01:37.799 --> 00:01:40.200 you could have his telegraph what come from miss Cyrilla, 28 00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:42.760 And he left this note for you what you can have, 29 00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:47.239 whether you pay or not. Mister Gubb quite willingly gave 30 00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:50.959 the negro thirty cents, the very last money he possessed, 31 00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:56.280 and read the telegram. It said, hope on hope ever 32 00:01:56.920 --> 00:01:59.799 have given up wheat bread, corn bread, rye bread, homemade bread, 33 00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:03.760 baker's bread, biscuit and rolls have lost six pounds more 34 00:02:04.439 --> 00:02:08.120 love to Gubby. This would have sent mister Gubb to 35 00:02:08.199 --> 00:02:10.360 his work in a happy frame of mind, had it 36 00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:13.680 not been for the note mister Meaderbrook had left. This 37 00:02:13.879 --> 00:02:18.479 note said, called to Chicago suddenly, I must have one 38 00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:21.680 hundred dollars payment on account of the gold stock immediately. 39 00:02:22.280 --> 00:02:24.840 Cannot let my daughter marry a man who puts off 40 00:02:24.840 --> 00:02:28.280 paying for gold stock forever. Unless I hear from you 41 00:02:28.319 --> 00:02:32.360 with the money tomorrow, all is over between us. Such 42 00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:35.919 a letter would have made any lover, said mister Gubb. 43 00:02:35.960 --> 00:02:38.680 Had no idea where he could raise one hundred dollars 44 00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:41.599 during the day, and he saw his promising romance cut 45 00:02:41.639 --> 00:02:44.879 short just when Marilla was beginning to lose weight handsomely. 46 00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:48.639 The greeting he received when he reached Aunt Martha Turner's 47 00:02:48.759 --> 00:02:52.080 was not of a sort to cheer him. Missus Turner 48 00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:56.439 met him with a sour face. No, you can't go 49 00:02:56.520 --> 00:02:59.360 ahead with putting the wallpaper on this kitchen ceiling today, 50 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:03.919 mister Gubb, she said, I'd like to if I could, 51 00:03:04.479 --> 00:03:08.840 said Filo Gubb wistfully. My financial condition ain't such as 52 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:11.639 to allow me to waste a day. I'm very low 53 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:16.400 in a monetary shape right now. Aunt Martha Turner seemed 54 00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:22.120 worried well. She said reluctantly. I guess if that's the case, 55 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:24.000 you might as well go ahead. I expect I'll have 56 00:03:24.039 --> 00:03:26.439 to be out of the house most all day if 57 00:03:26.439 --> 00:03:28.599 you get done before I get back. Lock the kitchen 58 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:32.199 door and put the key behind a shutter. She departed, 59 00:03:32.599 --> 00:03:36.039 and Philo Gubb set up his trestle, unrolled and trimmed 60 00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:39.599 a strip of sealing paper, pasted it, and climbed his ladder. 61 00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:42.800 At the top, he seated himself a moment and shook 62 00:03:42.800 --> 00:03:46.560 his head. He sighed and picked up the paste covered 63 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:49.159 strip of sealing paper, but before he could get to 64 00:03:49.199 --> 00:03:52.240 his feet, the kitchen door opened, and Snooks Turner put 65 00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:57.919 his head in cautiously. Say Gub, where's Aunt Martha, he 66 00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:02.080 asked in a whisper. He's gone out, said Filo Gubb. 67 00:04:02.680 --> 00:04:05.000 She won't be back for quite some time. I guess, 68 00:04:05.080 --> 00:04:10.319 snooksy good, said Snooks, and he entered the kitchen. Some 69 00:04:10.360 --> 00:04:14.199 weeks before he had met Nan Kilfilian. He was deeply 70 00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:16.759 in love with Nan, and Nan was a good girl, 71 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:20.199 although Aunt Martha Turner did not approve of her because 72 00:04:20.360 --> 00:04:24.800 she was hired girl to city Attorney Mullen before she 73 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:27.519 had met Snooks. Nan had done her best to make 74 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:31.240 something of Slippery Williams, who was courting her then, but 75 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:36.040 that task was beyond even NaN's powers. Snooks held a 76 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:39.920 job on the Eagle as city reporter with the dignified 77 00:04:39.959 --> 00:04:43.319 title of city editor, and he was making good. He 78 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:47.639 got the news. He seemed able to smell news. When 79 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:49.800 there was big news in the air, he would become 80 00:04:49.959 --> 00:04:54.319 uneasy and feel nervous. I got the twitches again. He 81 00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:57.000 would say to the editor of the Eagle, there's some 82 00:04:57.120 --> 00:04:59.800 big item around. I've got to get it, and he 83 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.040 would get it. She's gone out, has she said Snooks 84 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:06.439 When he had entered his aunt's kitchen and asked Philo 85 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:10.480 Gub about Aunt Martha. That's good. I wanted to see 86 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:14.959 you on a matter of business, detective business. He put 87 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:17.120 his hand in his pocket and drew out a small 88 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:21.560 roll of bills. He was not the usually neat Snooks. 89 00:05:21.839 --> 00:05:24.480 One eye was blackened and one side of his face 90 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:28.480 was scratched. His clothes were badly torn and soiled. He 91 00:05:28.519 --> 00:05:31.959 looked as if someone had tried to murder him. There, 92 00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:35.079 he said, holding the bills up to Filo Gub. After 93 00:05:35.160 --> 00:05:38.680 counting them, there's twenty five dollars. You take that and 94 00:05:38.839 --> 00:05:41.120 find out what I have done and what's the matter 95 00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:45.160 with me and all about it? What do you want 96 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:48.879 me to find out? Asked mister Gubb, fondling the bills. 97 00:05:49.600 --> 00:05:52.839 If I knew I wouldn't ask you, said Snooks, peevishly. 98 00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:55.680 I don't know what it is. I'd go and find 99 00:05:55.720 --> 00:06:00.439 out myself. But I'm in jail. Where did you say you? 100 00:06:00.680 --> 00:06:05.600 Was asked Filo gob in jail, said Snooks. I'm in 101 00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:08.680 jail and I'm in bad. When the Marshal put me 102 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:10.720 in last night, I gave him my word i'd stay 103 00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:13.000 in all day today. And it ain't right for me 104 00:06:13.079 --> 00:06:17.079 to be here now, dog gone you, snooks, He says, 105 00:06:17.639 --> 00:06:20.519 you ain't got no consideration for me at all. Here. 106 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:22.639 I figured that there wouldn't be no wave of crime 107 00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:25.040 strike town for some days, and I went and took 108 00:06:25.079 --> 00:06:27.319 the jail door down to the blacksmith to have a 109 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:30.319 panel put in where the one rusted out. And my 110 00:06:30.439 --> 00:06:32.800 wife made me promise to drive out to the farm 111 00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:36.399 with her tomorrow. And now you come and spoil everything. 112 00:06:36.439 --> 00:06:40.360 I got to stay in town and watch you go on, 113 00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:43.560 I says, and take your drive. I'll stay in jail. 114 00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:46.879 I got a strong imagination. I'll imagine there's a door. 115 00:06:47.959 --> 00:06:53.959 Honor Bright. He says, yes, Honor Bright. I says, So 116 00:06:54.040 --> 00:06:57.560 he went, said Snooks, and he's trusting me, and here 117 00:06:57.600 --> 00:06:59.920 I am you can see it wouldn't do for me 118 00:07:00.199 --> 00:07:02.680 to be running all over town when by rights I'm 119 00:07:02.720 --> 00:07:05.759 locked and barred and bolted in jail. I locked and 120 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:08.560 barred and bolted in jail, and well started on my 121 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:12.600 way to the penitentiary as a burglar. As a burglar, 122 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:17.920 exclaimed Gub. That's it, said Snookes. I can't see headner 123 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:20.040 tail of it. You got to help me out, Gub, 124 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:22.879 see if you can make any sense of this. Last 125 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:25.560 night I went out for a walk with Nan. She's 126 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:27.639 my girl, you know, and she's going to marry me. 127 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:31.519 Maybe she won't now, but she was going to. She 128 00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:34.560 works for Mullen. We got back to Mullen's house about 129 00:07:34.560 --> 00:07:37.639 eleven o'clock and Missus Mullen always locks the door at 130 00:07:37.639 --> 00:07:40.639 half past ten, whether Nan is in or not, so 131 00:07:41.040 --> 00:07:43.199 being late, we had to ring the doorbell and mister 132 00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:45.759 Mullen came to the door to let Nan in, and 133 00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:48.360 when he saw I was with her, he shook hands 134 00:07:48.360 --> 00:07:50.240 with me and asked me to come in and have 135 00:07:50.279 --> 00:07:52.920 a cigar and sit awhile. But I told him I 136 00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:55.560 had to hustle up some news for today's paper, and 137 00:07:55.639 --> 00:07:59.120 he let me go. That's how pleasant he was. So 138 00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:01.759 I went downtown. Then the first fellow I met was 139 00:08:01.839 --> 00:08:09.199 Sammy Wilmerton, widow Wilmerton's boy asked Philo Gub exactly, said Snooks, 140 00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:13.000 feeling his eye with his finger, and he says, Snooks, 141 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:15.920 did you hear what the Ladies Temperance League did last night? 142 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:20.040 I hadn't heard. I heard ma say, says Sammy. But 143 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:22.600 don't say I told you. They got up a petition 144 00:08:22.680 --> 00:08:25.560 to have city Attorney Mullen impeached by the city council. 145 00:08:26.759 --> 00:08:30.600 Well that was news. I went into the Eagle's office 146 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:34.840 and called up Mullen. Hello, is that Attorney Mullen? I 147 00:08:34.919 --> 00:08:39.840 says yes. He says, well, something happened last night. I says, 148 00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:42.679 and I'd like to see you about it. How do 149 00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:46.559 you know what happened? He says, no matter. I says, 150 00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:51.000 can I come up after half a minute. He says, oh, yes, 151 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:54.000 come up, come right away. I'll be waiting for you. 152 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:58.679 So I went. Nothing strange about that, said Philo Gubb, 153 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:02.799 shifting himself on the lane. So I went, continued Snooks. 154 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:05.360 I rang the doorbell, and the moment it rang, the 155 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:08.919 door flew open, and Bliff down came a bed blanket 156 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:11.039 over me, and somebody grabbed me in his arms and 157 00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:13.600 lugged me into the house. I guess it was a 158 00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:16.279 turning Mullen. You know how big and husky he is. 159 00:09:16.840 --> 00:09:19.919 But I couldn't see him. I couldn't see anything. Only 160 00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:23.399 every two seconds bump. He hit me at my head 161 00:09:23.440 --> 00:09:26.639 through the blanket. That's how I got this eye. And 162 00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:29.279 all the time he was talking to me mad as 163 00:09:29.320 --> 00:09:31.759 a hatter, and I couldn't hear a word he said. 164 00:09:32.120 --> 00:09:34.200 But I could hear his wife screaming at the top 165 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:36.919 of the stairs, and I could hear Nan screaming, and 166 00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:41.759 I heard a window go up. Stop that yelling, says 167 00:09:41.840 --> 00:09:44.679 Mullen in a voice I could hear. And then he 168 00:09:44.759 --> 00:09:46.960 picked me up again and carried me to the back 169 00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:49.279 door and opened it and threw me all the way 170 00:09:49.320 --> 00:09:52.759 down the eight steps. I chucked off the blanket and 171 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:55.039 I was going up the steps again to show him 172 00:09:55.039 --> 00:09:58.559 he couldn't treat me that way, when Bing somebody next 173 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:01.720 door took a shot at me with the revolver. Thought 174 00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:04.360 I was a burglar, I guess. I started to run 175 00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:07.320 for the back gate when Bing somebody shot at me 176 00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:09.559 from the other house. What do you think of that? 177 00:10:10.440 --> 00:10:12.320 For a few minutes, it sounded like the Battle of 178 00:10:12.360 --> 00:10:15.240 San Juan. And I can't understand yet why I didn't 179 00:10:15.279 --> 00:10:19.879 suffer an awful loss of life. But you didn't, asked 180 00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:23.480 Filo Gub No, sir ree, I made a dive for 181 00:10:23.559 --> 00:10:26.360 the cellar door just as they got the range. I 182 00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:28.879 stayed in the cellar way with the bullets pattering on 183 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:32.559 it like hail, until the cop came. Tim Fogerty was 184 00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:35.960 the cop. He ordered cease firing, and the shower stopped, 185 00:10:35.960 --> 00:10:38.600 and I let him capture me. He took me to 186 00:10:38.639 --> 00:10:41.440 the calaboose, and this morning early he had me before 187 00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:43.679 the judge and I'm held for the grand jury and 188 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:48.679 the charges burglary and pettit larceny. Now what is the answer? 189 00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:53.559 Being pulled into a house and thrown out the other door? 190 00:10:53.679 --> 00:10:58.039 Isn't burglary, said Filo gub Burglary is breaking in or 191 00:10:58.039 --> 00:11:01.519 breaking out? Maybe a turney and mistook you for some 192 00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:06.360 one else. Mistook nothin, said Snooks. He was in the 193 00:11:06.399 --> 00:11:09.039 court room this morning. He handed the case against me. 194 00:11:09.600 --> 00:11:13.159 Who's that some one was climbing the back steps and 195 00:11:13.279 --> 00:11:16.840 Snooks made one dive for the cellar door and slipped inside. 196 00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:19.519 He knew how to get out through the cellar, for 197 00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:22.679 he was familiar with it. He did not wait now, 198 00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:25.559 but opened the outside cellar door, and, after looking to 199 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:28.519 see that the way was clear, hurried back to jail. 200 00:11:29.799 --> 00:11:32.120 Filo Gubb did not have time to descend from his 201 00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:38.279 ladder before the kitchen door opened. The visitor was Policeman Fogerty. Mornin, 202 00:11:38.759 --> 00:11:41.399 he said, removing his hat and wiping the sweatband with 203 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:45.399 his red handkerchief. Don't ye get down, mister gubbsort, I 204 00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:48.480 want but a word with ye. I seen Stooksy Turner 205 00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:50.919 here but a second ago me lookin in at the 206 00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:54.720 windy an you at him conversin'. Maybe he was speakin' 207 00:11:54.720 --> 00:11:58.519 to ye of his arrest. He was conversing with me 208 00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:02.039 of that occurrence, said Philo gub He was consulting me 209 00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:06.919 in my professional capacity, and a fine young lad he is, 210 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:10.360 said Policeman Fogerty, reaching into his pocket. I got the 211 00:12:10.519 --> 00:12:14.240 devil for arresting him. Twas that dark, ye see, mister Gubb, 212 00:12:14.440 --> 00:12:16.960 I could not see who I was arrestin'. Maybe he 213 00:12:17.080 --> 00:12:20.279 was consulting yee about getting clear of the charge against him. 214 00:12:21.399 --> 00:12:27.480 He retained my detecative services, said Filo Gub. Poor young man, 215 00:12:27.879 --> 00:12:30.639 said Fogerty, I'll warrant he has none too much money. 216 00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:34.399 Me heart bleeds for him. You'll have no InVID trailin 217 00:12:34.559 --> 00:12:37.559 and shadow and another detective work to do on the case. 218 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:41.440 No doubt tis expensive work that I was thinkin. Maybe 219 00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:43.960 ye'd permit me to contribute a five dollar bill for 220 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:46.360 the work, for I'm that sad to have had a 221 00:12:46.440 --> 00:12:50.000 hand and arrest in him. Foggerty held up the bill 222 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:55.200 and Philo Gubb took it. Contingent expenses are always numerously 223 00:12:55.279 --> 00:13:01.080 present in detecative operations, he said. Right ye are, said Foggarty, 224 00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:03.279 And you'll remember, if any one asks ye, that I 225 00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:07.519 expressed me contrition for a rest in Snooksy. Whist, he said, 226 00:13:07.559 --> 00:13:11.200 putting his hand alongside his mouth and whispering. Some one 227 00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:13.440 wanted me to search the house here to see did 228 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:16.240 Snooksy have seven bottles of beer and a silver beer 229 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:20.399 opener in his room. Philo Gubb sat on the ladder 230 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:24.080 and contemplated the five dollar bill until he heard Fogerty returning. 231 00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:28.879 Hist Foggerty said, I did not see him mind ye 232 00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:32.559 Foggerty slipped out of the back door and was gone, 233 00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:35.559 and Filo Gubb, after a thoughtful moment, decided that the 234 00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:39.039 five dollar bill was rightfully his and slipped it into 235 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:42.159 his pocket. To earn it, however, he must get to 236 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:45.919 work on the case. He raised the pasted strip of paper, 237 00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:48.360 but before he could place the loose ends on the ceiling, 238 00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:53.200 some one tapped at the kitchen door. Come in, he called, 239 00:13:53.559 --> 00:13:57.799 and the door opened. Slippery Williams glided into the room, 240 00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:02.799 his crafty eyes sought finally, Oh, Gubbllo, Gubby, what you 241 00:14:02.919 --> 00:14:07.080 doin up there? Where's miss Turner? He asked? Miss Turner 242 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:10.720 is out on business, I presume, said the correspondent school 243 00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:14.799 detective coldly, And I am pursuing my professional duties in 244 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:20.039 the detectting line. You are, hey, said Slippery. Who you 245 00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:25.039 detecting for now? Snooks Turner said Philo Gub I'm solving 246 00:14:25.039 --> 00:14:30.039 a case for him. Instantly, Slippery's manner changed from rough, 247 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:34.919 he became smooth from bold. He became cringing. Why I'm 248 00:14:34.960 --> 00:14:38.279 Snooky's friend, he said? You know me and Snooksy was 249 00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:41.759 always chums, don't you, Gubby, Yes, sir, I think a 250 00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:45.480 lot of snooksy, he says, Slippery, you go up to 251 00:14:45.559 --> 00:14:47.759 my room and get me a bundle of clean clothes. 252 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:51.080 These are all torn and dirty, and well, I guess 253 00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:53.480 I'll get him and get back snooks is waitin for me. 254 00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:57.200 He turned to the hall, but Philo Gubb called him back. 255 00:14:58.159 --> 00:15:00.679 You can't go up there, said Phile Gub from his 256 00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:05.039 ladder top. There's been enough folks up there already. Who 257 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:11.120 was up, asked Slippery hastily. Policeman Fogerty was, said Filo Gub. 258 00:15:12.679 --> 00:15:17.440 What did he find up there, asked Slippery anxiously, nothing, 259 00:15:17.799 --> 00:15:20.320 said Filo Gub. He told me he couldn't find seven 260 00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:24.919 bottles of beer and a beer opener. Look here, said 261 00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:28.480 Slippery sweetly. If I gave you five dollars to hire 262 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:30.559 you to hunt for them, could you find them seven 263 00:15:30.600 --> 00:15:33.279 bottles of beer and that beer opener for me? Straight 264 00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:37.320 detective work? Could you? I could try to find them, 265 00:15:37.720 --> 00:15:42.360 said Filo Gub. Well that's all I want, said Slippery. 266 00:15:42.399 --> 00:15:44.559 I don't want to do nothing with them. All I 267 00:15:44.639 --> 00:15:48.080 want to know is where they are. Here's five dollars. 268 00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:53.279 Filo Gub took the money, all right, said Slippery. Now 269 00:15:53.480 --> 00:15:56.559 you find them. They're upstairs in missus Turner's bed, between 270 00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:00.240 the quilt and the mattress. Go find them, Not until 271 00:16:00.279 --> 00:16:04.200 miss Turner comes home, said Filo firmly. It's her house. 272 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:10.240 Why you long legged stork, you said Slippery. She knows 273 00:16:10.279 --> 00:16:14.120 I'm here for that beer she sent me. I thought 274 00:16:14.120 --> 00:16:17.399 you said Snook sent you for his clothes, said Filo, 275 00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:22.360 Never you mind who sent me for? What? Said Slippery angrily. 276 00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:25.200 You're a dandy detective, ain't you sitting on top of 277 00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:27.159 a ladder and not letting a friend of Snook's help 278 00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:31.559 him out. Say listen, Gubby, everybody's going to get into 279 00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:34.519 worse trouble if I don't get away with that beer. Understand. 280 00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:39.120 Come on, let me take it away when miss Turner 281 00:16:39.159 --> 00:16:43.399 comes back, said Filo Gubb. A new knock on the 282 00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:46.200 door interrupted them, and Slippery glided to the cellar door 283 00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:50.120 through which Snooks had so recently fled. The kitchen door 284 00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:53.399 opened to admit Attorney Smith. He was a thin man, 285 00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:58.399 but intelligent, looking, as thin men quite frequently are. Don't 286 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:00.720 get down, mister Gubb, don't get down, he said. I 287 00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:03.080 came in the back way hoping to find miss Turner. 288 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:09.759 She is not here. She's out, said Filo Gubb. Too bad, 289 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:12.960 said Attorney Smith. I wanted to see her about her nephew. 290 00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:19.279 You have heard he is in jail. Why, yes, said Filo, 291 00:17:19.400 --> 00:17:22.400 crossing one leg over the other. He hired me to 292 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:25.160 do some detect ting. I'm sort of in charge of 293 00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:27.880 that case. I'm just going to start and looking it up. 294 00:17:28.920 --> 00:17:30.920 Attorney Smith took a turn to the end of the 295 00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:33.880 room and back. He was known in Riverbank as the 296 00:17:34.119 --> 00:17:38.279 unsuccessful competitor against Attorney Mullen for the city attorneyship, and 297 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:41.839 was supposed to be the counselor of the liquor interests. 298 00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:45.880 You have done nothing yet, he asked, suddenly stopping below 299 00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:51.240 Filo Gubb's elevated seat. No, I'm just about beginning to commence, 300 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:56.559 said Filo. Then you know nothing regarding the articles young 301 00:17:56.640 --> 00:18:01.160 Turner is charged with stealing. Well, maybe I do know 302 00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:05.200 something about that, said Filo. If you mean seven bottles 303 00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:08.359 of beer and a beer opener, I do Where are they? 304 00:18:09.000 --> 00:18:12.039 Asked Attorney Smith in the sharp tone he used in 305 00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:14.200 addressing a witness for the other side when he was 306 00:18:14.279 --> 00:18:18.119 trying a case. I guess I've told about all I'm 307 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:22.160 going to tell about them, said Filo thoughtfully. I don't 308 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:24.680 want to be disobliging, mister Smith, but I look on 309 00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:27.160 them bottles of beer as a clue, and that beer 310 00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:30.240 opener is a clue, and they're about the only clue 311 00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:34.240 I've got. I got to save up my clues. Are 312 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:38.920 they in this house, asked mister Smith. Sharply, If they ain't, 313 00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:45.519 they're somewheres else, said Filo. Mister Gubb, said mister Smith, impressively. 314 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:49.559 There are large interests at stake in this case, larger 315 00:18:49.640 --> 00:18:53.319 interests than you can imagine. We are all interested at 316 00:18:53.319 --> 00:18:56.359 this moment in clearing your client of the suspicion, which 317 00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:59.960 I hope is an unjust suspicion now resting over it 318 00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:03.640 and upon him. I need not say what the interests are, 319 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:07.119 but they are very powerful. I feel confident that those 320 00:19:07.200 --> 00:19:12.480 interests could succeed in clearing Snook's turner. Well. I guess 321 00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:14.400 if I was left alone long enough to get down 322 00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:17.519 from this ladder, I could clear him myself. I didn't 323 00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:21.039 study in the Rising Sun Detecative Agencies Correspondence School of 324 00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:26.480 Detecting for nothing, said Filo Gubb. Snooks hired me, and 325 00:19:26.599 --> 00:19:30.920 he did well, said Attorney Smith, heartily. I praise his acumen. 326 00:19:31.039 --> 00:19:33.480 I wonder if I might be permitted on behalf of 327 00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:36.759 the powerful interests I represent to contribute to the expense 328 00:19:36.839 --> 00:19:40.400 of the work you will do. I guess you might, 329 00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:46.599 said Philo Gubb, detecting runs into money the interests I represent, 330 00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:50.400 said mister Smith, taking out his wallet, will contribute ten dollars, 331 00:19:51.119 --> 00:19:54.160 and they did. They put a crisp ten dollar bill 332 00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:59.200 in Philo Gubb's hands. And now, having shown our unity 333 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:01.759 of interest with him, young mister Turner, there can be 334 00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:04.440 no harm in telling us where that beer is? Can there? 335 00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:09.359 He turned toward the kitchen door, for Nan Kilpilian stood there. 336 00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:13.839 Her eyes were red and swollen. Attorney Smith hastily excused 337 00:20:13.920 --> 00:20:18.160 himself and went away, and Nan came into the kitchen. Oh, 338 00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:22.799 mister Gubb, she exclaimed, you will get Snooks out of jail, 339 00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:25.359 won't you. It would break my heart if he was 340 00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:28.240 sent to the penitentiary. And I know he has done 341 00:20:28.279 --> 00:20:31.319 nothing wrong. He is depending on you, mister Gubb. I 342 00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:34.319 brought you ten dollars. It is all I have left 343 00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:37.119 of last month's wages. But it will help a little, 344 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:41.279 won't it? Thank you? Said Filo Gubb, taking the money. 345 00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:44.799 I cannot estimate in advance what the cost of his 346 00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:48.000 clearance will be. It may be more and it may 347 00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.440 be less. It is a complicated case. I am just 348 00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:53.640 about going to get down from this ladder and start 349 00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:58.440 working on it vigorously. If you, he stopped, if you 350 00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:01.240 wish to help us in this case, miss Kilfilly, And 351 00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:03.599 he said, will you go to the jail and ask 352 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:08.079 Snooks where is the beer and the beer opener? Where 353 00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:13.119 is her? Face went white? What beer and what beer opener? 354 00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:18.519 She asked tensely. Seven bottles and a beer opener, said 355 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:23.799 Philo Gub. Oh, she moaned, and he said he didn't 356 00:21:23.799 --> 00:21:26.920 do it. He swore he didn't do it. Oh, Snooks, 357 00:21:26.920 --> 00:21:31.359 how could you? How could you? Now? Don't you weep 358 00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:34.839 like that? Said Philo Gub soothingly. You go and ask him. 359 00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:37.480 I'll have my things ready for my immediate departure on 360 00:21:37.559 --> 00:21:40.720 to the case by the time you get back. Nan 361 00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:43.680 hurried away, and Philo Gub waited only to count the 362 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:47.400 money he had so far received. It amounted to fifty 363 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:50.519 five dollars. He slipped it into his pocket and stood 364 00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:53.799 up on the step ladder. He had even proceeded so 365 00:21:53.960 --> 00:21:56.480 far as to put one foot on a lower step. 366 00:21:56.519 --> 00:22:00.680 When Missus Wilmerton entered the kitchen, she was a stout woman, 367 00:22:00.759 --> 00:22:03.400 and she was almost out of breath. She had to 368 00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:06.240 stand a minute before she could speak. But as she stood, 369 00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:09.279 she made gestures with her hands, as if that much 370 00:22:09.319 --> 00:22:12.200 of her delivery could be given at any rate, and 371 00:22:12.279 --> 00:22:15.519 the words might catch up with their appropriate gestures if 372 00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:20.359 they could. Mister Gubb, Mister Gubb, she gasped, Oh, this 373 00:22:20.519 --> 00:22:23.799 is terrible, terrible, Miss Turner should never have dared it. 374 00:22:24.119 --> 00:22:26.960 Oh my breath? Do you do you know where the 375 00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:31.480 beer is? I wouldn't advise you to take beer for 376 00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:36.200 shortness of breath, said Philo Gub. Just rest a minute, 377 00:22:36.599 --> 00:22:41.000 but guesped. Poor missus Wilmerton. I told miss Turner it 378 00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:45.559 was folly. She's so stubborn. Ah, I thought I'd never 379 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:47.759 get a full breath again as long as I lived. 380 00:22:48.079 --> 00:22:51.359 How can we get rid of the beer? There's plenty 381 00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:54.799 that want to take it, said mister Gubb. Attorney Smith. 382 00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:58.400 Oh I knew it, I knew it, moaned Missus Wilmerton. 383 00:22:58.839 --> 00:23:03.960 He threatened it threatened, what asked Filo Gub that he 384 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:07.119 would find the beer in this house, cried Missus Wilmerton. 385 00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:09.680 He threatened Aunt Martha that if she did not give 386 00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:11.599 it to him freely, he would have it found here 387 00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:15.240 and make a scandal. Beer hidden in between the quilt 388 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:18.200 and the mattress of Aunt Martha's bed, and she secretary 389 00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:23.279 of the Lady's Temperance League. It's awful. Martha is so headstrong, 390 00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:26.160 she's getting herself in an awful fix. She never should 391 00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:28.720 have had a thing to do with that slippery fellow. 392 00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:35.400 With Who with slippery Williams? Asked Filo Gubb, intensely surprised 393 00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:38.839 Aunt Martha Turner. What did she have to do with 394 00:23:38.920 --> 00:23:43.720 slippery Williams? Well, she had plenty and enough and more 395 00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:47.000 than that to do with him, said Missus Wilmerton, angrily 396 00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:50.440 getting bottles of beer in her bed and robbing houses 397 00:23:50.440 --> 00:23:52.680 at her time of life, and wanting the ladies temperance 398 00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:54.640 lead to have a special meeting this morning to approve 399 00:23:54.680 --> 00:24:00.759 of burglary and larceny at her age. Now, Missus Wilmerton, 400 00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:03.480 said Philo Gub from the top of the ladder. I'd 401 00:24:03.519 --> 00:24:05.519