WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:05.000 Late October nineteen twenty nine, and the Everlay Hotel still 2 00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:08.800 shimmered like a Champagne dream, even if everything beneath it 3 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:14.679 felt unsteady. The stock tickers downstairs hadn't stopped stuttering all afternoon. 4 00:00:15.320 --> 00:00:19.199 Men who usually laughed too loudly were speaking in low voices. 5 00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:24.399 Phones were busy. Papers were being folded and unfolded, as 6 00:00:24.440 --> 00:00:28.519 if the numbers might change if handled carefully enough. Papa 7 00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:32.159 had been on the telephone twice before dinner, once with 8 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:37.640 New York, once with Chicago. Both calls ended the same way, 9 00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:40.799 with silence stretching too long on the line, and his 10 00:00:40.920 --> 00:00:45.119 voice afterward clipped and tired, like a man counting losses 11 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:48.880 he didn't want to name. Yet Wall Street was misbehaving, 12 00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:54.920 they said, a correction, a tremor, nothing to panic over. Still, 13 00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:58.320 the word loss had crept into conversation where it didn't belong. 14 00:00:59.240 --> 00:01:03.719 Thankfully we had the hotel. That was what everyone kept saying. 15 00:01:04.280 --> 00:01:08.840 Railroads might wobble, markets might fall, But the ever Lay 16 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:14.599 stood solid, brick and marble, and reputation rooms booked months out, 17 00:01:14.799 --> 00:01:17.840 cash flowing, no matter what madness the papers were printing, 18 00:01:18.359 --> 00:01:21.359 whatever was happening out there, this place was supposed to 19 00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:27.159 be safe, and yet I told myself that's why I 20 00:01:27.239 --> 00:01:32.120 was restless. I was twenty nine years old, unmarried, and 21 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:36.640 increasingly spoken about as if those two facts required explanation. 22 00:01:37.640 --> 00:01:42.319 Everyone meant well, they always did, but lately every conversation 23 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:46.599 seemed to circle the same unspoken question, how long I 24 00:01:46.680 --> 00:01:50.200 intended to go on like this? As if freedom were 25 00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:54.640 a phase i'd overstayed. I wasn't opposed to marriage. I 26 00:01:54.760 --> 00:01:57.480 just wasn't convinced it was meant to feel like a solution. 27 00:01:58.319 --> 00:02:03.200 I was lucky. I knew that the hotel had raised 28 00:02:03.239 --> 00:02:06.319 me as much as my parents had. The staff had 29 00:02:06.359 --> 00:02:10.199 watched me grow up, scraped knees and all, and treated 30 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:15.159 me like something precious instead of something overdue that counted 31 00:02:15.159 --> 00:02:18.879 for a great deal. Whatever Wall Street was doing, I 32 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:22.879 wasn't about to let it touch me. Not tonight, I 33 00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:26.479 never do. I was up in my suite, top floor, 34 00:02:26.599 --> 00:02:30.199 marble floors, cool underfoot, silk drapes that cost more than 35 00:02:30.199 --> 00:02:35.000 most people's rent of Victrola spinning Rhapsody in Blue. When 36 00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:38.680 I decided to go down and dance. I slipped into 37 00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:41.759 my little black dress and let my solid gold family 38 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:47.400 heirloom necklace catch the light like spilled coins. Grandfather always 39 00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:50.719 called it a family heirloom, but I knew better. It 40 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:53.719 was just pretty, and I liked how it felt against 41 00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:57.800 my skin when I moved. As I stepped onto the stairs, 42 00:02:57.960 --> 00:03:02.080 Missus Callahan, who had been pressing linens in this hotel 43 00:03:02.319 --> 00:03:07.400 longer than I'd been alive, looked up and smiled. You're 44 00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:12.800 a vision this evening, Miss Eve Angeline, She said, thank you, 45 00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:17.400 I replied, leaning down to kiss her cheek. You'll tell 46 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:22.039 me if I'm scandalous, won't you? She sniffed. If I 47 00:03:22.120 --> 00:03:25.719 had a dollar for every time you'd be married already, 48 00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:31.199 we both laughed. I was flouncing down the mezzanine on 49 00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:33.639 my way to the dance hall when Papa appeared at 50 00:03:33.639 --> 00:03:36.120 the far end, already half way up from the lobby, 51 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:42.159 jacket still on ty loosened. His steps were quick, distracted, 52 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:47.280 we crossed paths without slowing. He glanced at me just once. 53 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:51.960 This isn't the night for theatrics of Angeline, he said, quietly, 54 00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:58.039 already moving past me toward the stairs. Of course, Papa 55 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:02.360 I stopped. He didn't. At the bottom of the mezzanine, 56 00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:05.120 James at the front desk, caught my eye and tipped 57 00:04:05.159 --> 00:04:11.560 his head respectful as always, evening, miss Everleigh, Good evening, James, 58 00:04:12.039 --> 00:04:16.000 I said, smiling, Try not to let the world end 59 00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:20.519 without telling me. He smiled back, just a little strained. 60 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:25.959 I'll do my best, Miss I, lifted my chin and 61 00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:32.920 kept going. Then he walked in like someone who already 62 00:04:32.959 --> 00:04:38.199 belonged somewhere better. Tall, slicked hair, impeccably tailored, three piece 63 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:42.879 deep navy suit, impossibly clean emerald green pocket square, folded, 64 00:04:42.920 --> 00:04:46.720 sharp enough to kill with a matching tie. The kind 65 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:49.279 of man who looks like his shoes cost more than 66 00:04:49.319 --> 00:04:53.720 most people's apartments and doesn't need to mention it. He 67 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:56.600 moved with the quiet assurance of a man who'd made 68 00:04:56.639 --> 00:05:00.040 serious money and, judging by the night, had probably lo 69 00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:03.240 lost a little of it, but still carried himself like 70 00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:07.720 the room belonged to him. Handsome in the expensive way, 71 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:12.199 the kind of confidence that only comes with heavy sugar 72 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:17.240 in the bank. Loaded, My kind of loaded. The sort 73 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:20.040 of man who doesn't need to shout to be noticed, 74 00:05:20.360 --> 00:05:23.360 who could buy the whole juice joint just to get 75 00:05:23.399 --> 00:05:28.959 a girl's attention and then actually do it. I didn't 76 00:05:28.959 --> 00:05:31.600 know his name, but my pulse gave a little jazz 77 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:36.199 drum flutter. Anyway, He's a proper big cheese, I thought, 78 00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:39.600 a real chic, with pockets deep enough to make even 79 00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:43.600 me take notice. I followed him through the lobby. We 80 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:46.079 came face to face for just a second, though I 81 00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:50.120 doubted he noticed me. He was even better up close, 82 00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:56.480 not just handsome, composed, a face built for portraits, clean jawline, 83 00:05:56.680 --> 00:06:00.399 dark lashes, lips that didn't smile unless they meant it. 84 00:06:01.639 --> 00:06:04.959 He had that look certain men carry, the kind who 85 00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:09.399 know exactly what they're worth and never explain themselves. I 86 00:06:09.439 --> 00:06:13.079 wasn't used to being the one watching. But this man, 87 00:06:13.959 --> 00:06:19.240 this man I wanted to memorize. He turned and made 88 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:21.920 his way toward the velvet curtain by the service bar, 89 00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:26.600 the one no one used anymore. Naturally, I followed him, 90 00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:30.199 not that I made a scene. I didn't rush. I 91 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:35.720 never rush. I took my time, drifting in his wake, 92 00:06:35.800 --> 00:06:39.639 with a smile that meant nothing and eyes that meant plenty. 93 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:43.519 He cut through the curtain into that hallway. When he 94 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:46.560 slipped past the velvet rope into the service corridor, the 95 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:50.000 part of the hotel Grandfather had forbidden since I could toddle. 96 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:56.160 I hesitated for exactly three seconds. Stay out of the 97 00:06:56.199 --> 00:07:00.240 old wing they drilled into me. Nothing good down there. 98 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:08.000 Dangerous fear always tasted like excitement to me, especially when 99 00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:13.160 it came wrapped in a mystery like him. Then I 100 00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:17.240 stepped through. I trailed him at a distance, my heels 101 00:07:17.319 --> 00:07:21.240 silent on the carpeted back halls. He never looked back. 102 00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:26.959 The service corridor behind the curtain was narrow and dim, 103 00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:31.040 lined with old crown molding, warped by time and steam. 104 00:07:31.959 --> 00:07:36.319 The wallpaper had once been gold and cream stripes, now faded. 105 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:39.759 I passed a rusting service bell mounted on the wall, 106 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:44.519 and a door labeled Linens in flaked paint. At the 107 00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:48.000 end of the hallway, a sliver of brass glinted through 108 00:07:48.040 --> 00:07:52.920 a half cracked door. I pushed it open. It led 109 00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:56.000 to the real, forgotten part of the hotel. The bones 110 00:07:56.040 --> 00:07:59.959 of the building, brick walls, cool and damp to the top, 111 00:08:00.040 --> 00:08:03.560 much an old maintenance passage they must have built before 112 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:07.800 the war, with gas lamp sconces, never wired for electricity, 113 00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:13.040 bare floor dust thick enough to hush my steps. A 114 00:08:13.079 --> 00:08:17.399 place for staff no one trusted upstairs, a place for secrets, 115 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:23.399 and there it was the staircase, not the iron elevator 116 00:08:23.439 --> 00:08:26.519 I'd ridden as a girl on dares. No, that was 117 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:32.879 upstairs for servants and supplies. This was different, A narrow, 118 00:08:33.080 --> 00:08:36.919 black mouthed flight of stone steps, spiraling down into nothing, 119 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:41.639 no railing worth, trusting, no light except the faint spill 120 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:45.559 from the corridor bulb behind me. Papa could warn me 121 00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:49.080 all he wanted about staying to the lighted halls, but 122 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:52.320 the truth was I hadn't set foot on those stairs 123 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:55.879 since I was twelve. I'd broken my ankle tumbling down 124 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:59.000 them in the dark, biting back screams so the staff 125 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:03.320 wouldn't tattle, kept the limp secret for weeks, limping through 126 00:09:03.399 --> 00:09:06.360 tea dances like it was just a new flapper step. 127 00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:10.000 That staircase was a descent into hell. For all I knew, 128 00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:15.519 I wasn't going down there again, not ever, except here. 129 00:09:15.559 --> 00:09:19.440 I was fear vanished the moment I saw him disappear 130 00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:25.200 over the edge, replaced by a queer thrill, curiosity, desire, 131 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:28.240 the thrill of chasing a man who looked like he 132 00:09:28.279 --> 00:09:31.039 could buy the whole damn hotel and still have change 133 00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:35.279 for champagne. Whatever it was, It was the cat's pajamas, 134 00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:39.000 and it burned hotter than any fear I've ever known. 135 00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:43.200 I waited and slipped a compact from the black beaded 136 00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:46.600 pochette hanging from a gold chain, looped through the velvet 137 00:09:46.679 --> 00:09:51.159 sash at my hip, lipstick perfect. The catch clicked shut 138 00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:54.080 with a whisper. A lady knows how to be ready 139 00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:59.919 for anything. I waited ten heartbeats, then followed down. I went, 140 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:03.759 one careful step after another, the stone cold through my 141 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:08.600 thin soles. The air grew thick, damp, and tasted faintly 142 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:12.960 of rust and cold iron, a forgotten metallic scent from 143 00:10:13.080 --> 00:10:16.960 pipes that had long stopped running. The single bare bulb 144 00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:21.519 overhead swung lazily, throwing long shadows that danced like drunken 145 00:10:21.639 --> 00:10:25.840 flappers on the brick walls. Each step echoed just enough 146 00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:32.360 to make my pulse race faster. The hallway was dim, still, 147 00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:36.639 the kind of quiet that accelerates your heart beat. At 148 00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:41.480 the end, the tiny square room, empty bare walls. He 149 00:10:41.639 --> 00:10:45.399 was already inside. The door hadn't closed behind him, it 150 00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:50.320 hung open. I stepped quietly up to the threshold, just 151 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:53.759 far enough to see but not be seen. One metal 152 00:10:53.799 --> 00:10:57.559 panel flush in the far wall, shaped exactly like a door. 153 00:10:58.279 --> 00:11:03.000 No handle on the side, a keypad of ten brass buttons, 154 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:07.720 no labels, just numbers, worn smooth. He reached for one. 155 00:11:07.879 --> 00:11:12.399 His hand hesitated, then pressed seven. His head turned slightly, 156 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:17.639 just a flick, enough that I felt it. He sensed 157 00:11:17.679 --> 00:11:21.159 I was there, but didn't want to know. He wanted 158 00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:25.279 to get where he was going fast. My breath caught. 159 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:29.200 I pressed myself gently back against the wall, careful not 160 00:11:29.279 --> 00:11:32.960 to lose sight of his hand. But he didn't look back, 161 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:39.120 just stood there, waiting. The panel shimmered, a wild spectrum 162 00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:43.720 of colors. A low static crackle filled the air. The 163 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:48.120 metal rippled, became a curtain of shimmering light, like heat 164 00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:54.519 rising off Lake Michigan in July. But alive. He stepped 165 00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:58.799 through the shimmer swallowed him whole, then faded back to 166 00:11:58.919 --> 00:12:04.360 dull steel. I stood frozen in the doorway. Grandfather had 167 00:12:04.360 --> 00:12:08.279 called it the trap door. He said, some treasures are 168 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:11.759 meant to be kept, not passed through. That door is 169 00:12:11.799 --> 00:12:14.799 a golden trap, waiting for a soul that has nothing 170 00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:19.120 left to lose. But my parents had changed the subject. 171 00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:26.960 Fear had kept me away until now I waited a minute, 172 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:29.399 long enough for my pulse to steady. Then stepped to 173 00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:34.639 the keypad. My finger hovered, I pressed seven, same as him. 174 00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:43.080 The shimmer returned, and my heart pounded. I stepped forward. Poof. 175 00:12:43.639 --> 00:12:47.120 It hit like nothing I'd ever felt. My entire body vibrated, 176 00:12:47.240 --> 00:12:51.480 bones rattling, skin tingling. My gold necklace burned against my 177 00:12:51.559 --> 00:12:55.879 skin like fire. Every nerve danced, shook, shimmered in a 178 00:12:55.919 --> 00:12:59.600 wave that started at my toes and exploded through my chest. 179 00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:05.240 I was terrifying, it was exquisite. It lasted forever and 180 00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:13.960 no time at all. Then silence. I stood in the 181 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:17.919 same tiny room. The panel was metal again, inert. The 182 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:23.320 keypad waited, no sign of the man. I exhaled, smoothed 183 00:13:23.399 --> 00:13:30.919 my dress. Well, that was something. I walked back up 184 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:34.480 through the Devil's staircase, one heel in front of the other, 185 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:40.840 like nothing had happened, Like I hadn't just shimmered through 186 00:13:40.879 --> 00:13:45.600 a door I wasn't supposed to know existed. I made 187 00:13:45.639 --> 00:13:48.399 my way through the side corridor where the staff once 188 00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:51.320 let me sneak bites of wedding cake from the kitchens, 189 00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:55.399 and slipped through the lobby like a woman between dreams. 190 00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:01.879 The hallway above was familiar at first, same same sleepy 191 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:07.519 eyed sconces. But something was off. Grandfather's favorite painting was gone. 192 00:14:08.200 --> 00:14:11.279 The color of the runner rug had changed, and the 193 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:16.840 silence wasn't rich anymore. It was empty. When I entered 194 00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:21.000 the lobby, it was unrecognizable. The sprawling marble was covered 195 00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:25.200 in a drab carpet, and the chandeliers were gone. I 196 00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:28.399 crossed through like I was a stranger in a strange dream, 197 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:36.039 expecting eyes, smiles, a greeting by name. No one looked up. 198 00:14:36.519 --> 00:14:40.000 The front desk staff, not my staff, typed into some 199 00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:44.240 small glowing thing like it was sacred. The bellhop passed 200 00:14:44.279 --> 00:14:47.559 me without a nod. One of the maids glanced past 201 00:14:47.639 --> 00:14:50.440 me like I wasn't even there. Then the front door 202 00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:57.519 swung open wide, and there he was. For a heartbeat, 203 00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:01.759 the night framed him perfectly in the doorway, silhouette, sharp 204 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:06.799 against the wild, bleeding glow of the street beyond, tall, 205 00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:11.799 still impeccably tailored, that same deep navy suit, the emerald 206 00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:15.720 pocket square, catching a flash of unnatural color from the 207 00:15:15.799 --> 00:15:20.039 lights outside. That man, the one I'd chased down the 208 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:24.879 Devil's staircase and through the trap door. He stepped forward, 209 00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:28.000 shoulders set like a man who'd seen worse nights than 210 00:15:28.039 --> 00:15:33.000 this one. He paused just a fraction and looked around 211 00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:38.080 the lobby with the same quiet, bewilderment. I felt his 212 00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:42.399 gaze swept past the empty space and landed on me. 213 00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:49.279 Our eyes met across the lobby. No nod, no flicker 214 00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:54.679 of familiarity, just a sudden startled lock, his dark lashes 215 00:15:54.759 --> 00:15:58.360 widening for the barest instant, as if he'd seen a ghost. 216 00:15:59.320 --> 00:16:02.919 My own breath caught pulse, hammering like jazz drums in 217 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:08.759 my chest. He didn't smile, didn't speak. He simply held 218 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:11.960 the look a second longer than he should have, then 219 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:17.000 turned and vanished into the dark beyond the doors. A 220 00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:21.279 bellhop brushed past me without a word. He didn't even glance. 221 00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:25.559 The doors were still drifting shut. I didn't wait for 222 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:30.399 them to close. I ran, heels clicking sharp against the marble, 223 00:16:30.519 --> 00:16:34.840 little black dress whispering against my thighs, and pushed through 224 00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:39.039 after him. I stepped out. The air hit me like 225 00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:42.639 a slap. I stood on the sidewalk, if that's what 226 00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:45.600 they still called it, and tried to make sense of 227 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:49.279 what I was seeing. The street was alive with color, 228 00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:53.840 not the muted grays and browns of my Chicago, but wild, 229 00:16:54.039 --> 00:16:58.919 electric hues that seemed to glow from within. Signs blazed 230 00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:01.879 in reds and blues and greens so vivid they hurt 231 00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:05.599 to look at, like someone had bottled lightning and trapped 232 00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:09.599 it in glass tubes. The cars were queer too. They 233 00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:13.119 glided past without sound, without the rumble of engines or 234 00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:18.079 the smell of gasoline, just silent, sleek shapes that moved 235 00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:24.880 like sharks through water. No horses, no carriages, no coal 236 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:28.559 smoke or manure or the familiar stink of the city 237 00:17:28.599 --> 00:17:36.440 I knew. And the people, oh the people. Women walked 238 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:40.640 past in trousers, not riding pants or some mannish costume, 239 00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:45.079 but actual trousers that clung to their legs like thick stockings, 240 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:50.400 showing off every curve, every detail. Skinny girls with legs 241 00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:54.400 like colts, Curvy women whose hips swayed with each step. 242 00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:59.160 Even the heavier ones wore these strange, stretchy garments that 243 00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:02.119 hugged their thust eyes and calves like a second skin. 244 00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:06.519 I'd never seen so much female form on display outside 245 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:12.400 a burlesque house. The men were just as peculiar. No hats, 246 00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:16.880 not a single fedora or bowler in sight. Their hair 247 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:20.240 was wild, unstyled, some of it long enough to touch 248 00:18:20.279 --> 00:18:24.880 their collars. They wore jackets without proper structure, trousers that 249 00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:27.799 hung low on their hips, shoes that looked like they 250 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:34.920 belonged in a gymnasium. And everyone, everyone stared down at 251 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:40.200 little glowing rectangles in their hands, walking like sleepwalkers, eyes 252 00:18:40.359 --> 00:18:44.480 glued to those mysterious boxes, bumping into each other without 253 00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:50.279 apology or even acknowledgment. I scanned the crowd, searching for him, 254 00:18:50.440 --> 00:18:55.359 my mystery man. There half a block ahead, that same 255 00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:59.519 confident stride, the cut of his shoulders unmistakable even in 256 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:03.640 this sea of strangers. I started after him, my heels 257 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:08.920 clicking against the pavement, except they didn't click. The sound 258 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:12.359 was muffled, distant, like I was walking on cotton instead 259 00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:15.720 of concrete. I looked down at my feet, watched my 260 00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:19.440 shoes make contact with the ground, but the sensation was off, 261 00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:23.759 like stepping on something that wasn't quite there. A woman 262 00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:26.880 in a bright pink coat walked straight toward me, her 263 00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:31.920 eyes glued to her glowing rectangle. Excuse me, miss I 264 00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:35.519 stepped aside, but she didn't move. I stepped further. She 265 00:19:35.640 --> 00:19:40.920 kept coming, miss oh God. Then the unfathomable. She walked 266 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:45.480 through me, not past me, through me. The cold hit, 267 00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:48.960 like diving into Lake Michigan in January, a rush of 268 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:52.839 ice that started at my chest and exploded outward. My 269 00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:57.079 breath caught, my vision blurred. For one terrible second. I 270 00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:01.440 felt her inside me, her warmth, her heart, her thoughts 271 00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:06.079 like radiostatic, I couldn't quite tune in. I smelled her perfume, 272 00:20:06.359 --> 00:20:11.519 something floral, felt her pulse faster than mine, tasted something 273 00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:16.400 sweet on her breath, like candy. Then she was gone, 274 00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:20.519 already ten paces ahead, still staring at her little box. 275 00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:25.319 I stood frozen. People flowing around me, like water around 276 00:20:25.319 --> 00:20:32.160 a stone, through me, past me, never seeing me. My 277 00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:34.799 hand flew to my chest, feeling for my heart beat 278 00:20:35.480 --> 00:20:42.119 there still there. But to them, I'm invisible. I am 279 00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:45.880 aren't I. I looked down at my hands. I could 280 00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:49.400 see them, see the gold necklace catching the light, see 281 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:52.920 my little black dress, my shoes, everything exactly as it 282 00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:55.559 should be. But when I reached out to touch a 283 00:20:55.640 --> 00:21:01.720 lamp post, my fingers passed through the metal like smoke. No, 284 00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:09.720 I whispered, no, no, no. I tried again. A mail box, 285 00:21:09.839 --> 00:21:14.119 one of those blue metal boxes I didn't recognize. My 286 00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:16.240 hand went through it like it was made of fog. 287 00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:21.799 I couldn't touch anything. Ahead. My mystery man turned a corner, 288 00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:26.200 his navy suit, disappearing into the crowd. I ran after him, 289 00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:30.640 or tried to. My feet barely touched the ground. The 290 00:21:30.680 --> 00:21:35.599 sensation was all odd, like floating, like flying, like being 291 00:21:35.640 --> 00:21:39.319 carried by a current. I couldn't see. I moved faster 292 00:21:39.480 --> 00:21:42.720 than I should have been able to, closing the distance 293 00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:47.440 in seconds. He stopped at a corner, waiting for the 294 00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:52.759 silent cars to pass. I caught up breathless or was 295 00:21:52.839 --> 00:21:58.039 I did I even need to breathe? I stood beside him, 296 00:21:58.079 --> 00:22:01.680 close enough to touch, so enough to smell his cologne, 297 00:22:01.799 --> 00:22:06.759 expensive and manly. The scent hit me with overwhelming clarity, 298 00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:12.160 every note distinct and sharp. But then a man in 299 00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:16.559 a gray suit walked straight through him. The stranger. My 300 00:22:16.759 --> 00:22:21.359 stranger jerked back, his hand flying to his chest. His 301 00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:25.519 face went pale. He stumbled, caught himself against a lamp post, 302 00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:29.160 his hand passing through the metal just like mine had. 303 00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:39.279 He stared at his hand tried again. Nothing. Oh god, 304 00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:45.640 he whispered. He looked around wildly, his composure cracking. He 305 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:48.759 reached for a woman passing by. His hand went through 306 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:53.200 her shoulder. She shivered, pulled her coat tighter, kept walking. 307 00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:57.160 He tried the lamp post again, the mailbox, a car 308 00:22:57.200 --> 00:23:02.559 parked at the curb. Nothing, all of it. Nothing, No, 309 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:08.400 he said, his voice rough, No, this isn't. He looked 310 00:23:08.440 --> 00:23:11.960 down at himself, at his perfect navy suit, his emerald 311 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:15.839 pocket square, his polished shoes. Then he looked up at 312 00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:21.039 the street, at the impossible future we'd landed in. I 313 00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:25.000 saw it the exact moment he understood the same epiphany 314 00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:29.359 I had just moments before him. We weren't in our 315 00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:35.000 world anymore. We weren't even in our bodies. He started 316 00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:39.480 walking again, faster now, his movements jerky and desperate. He 317 00:23:39.559 --> 00:23:43.440 turned down a side street than another, moving deeper into neighborhoods. 318 00:23:43.480 --> 00:23:48.440 I didn't recognize. The buildings were taller here, sleeker, made 319 00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:50.960 of glass and steel that reflected the city back at 320 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:55.519 itself in fractured pieces. I followed my feet, barely touching 321 00:23:55.559 --> 00:23:58.640 the ground. He stopped in front of a tower that 322 00:23:58.759 --> 00:24:02.119 stretched up into the night sky, its windows glowing like 323 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:06.480 a hundred tiny moons. He stood there for a long moment, 324 00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:11.160 staring up at it. Then he reached into his vest 325 00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:16.119 pocket and pulled out a gold pocket watch. He flipped 326 00:24:16.119 --> 00:24:19.519 open the cover. He shook it gently, pressed the stem, 327 00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:24.400 tried to wind it. His shoulders sagged just a fraction, 328 00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:27.759 just enough for me to see the exhaustion beneath the 329 00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:34.640 polish Where are we, he said quietly to himself, to 330 00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:40.319 the night, to no one. I don't know, I answered, 331 00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:43.000 even though he wasn't listening to me, or couldn't hear me. 332 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:50.119 I wasn't sure, but I'm here too. You're not alone. 333 00:24:50.839 --> 00:24:54.200 He snapped the watch shut, pocketed it, and turned scanning 334 00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.640 the street. His eyes passed over me again. Can you 335 00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:04.400 see me, I whispered. He didn't please, I said louder, please. 336 00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:07.319 I know you can see me in the lobby. You 337 00:25:07.480 --> 00:25:12.400 looked right at me nothing. His jaw was tight, his 338 00:25:12.559 --> 00:25:15.880 eyes scanning the street like he was searching for something 339 00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:21.799 or someone. He looked around at the people, at the buildings, 340 00:25:21.839 --> 00:25:25.880 at the space I occupied, but his gaze slid past 341 00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:29.759 me like I was made of glass. Then a woman 342 00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:34.240 walked past and I nearly forgot to breathe first. I 343 00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:37.799 was absolutely zazzled by how she was talking to herself 344 00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:41.279 out loud. She was holding one of those rectangle boxes 345 00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:44.160 in her hand that glowed like a tiny luminous radio. 346 00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:51.039 But what truly had me gasped her dress. It clung 347 00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:54.359 to her like a wet rag, hugging every inch of 348 00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:59.359 her figure. In my time, we wanted to look like boys, straight, 349 00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:04.119 flats and free. We were dancing the Charleston, not showing 350 00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:08.759 off curves. I adjusted my little black dress, giving a 351 00:26:08.839 --> 00:26:13.880 discreete tug on the boyish form corset underneath. We all 352 00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:17.960 wore them. Every curvy girl did the Garson, we called it. 353 00:26:18.519 --> 00:26:22.519 But this dame, she was flaunting curves that would have 354 00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:27.759 made a burlesque queen blush. Now her chest was practically 355 00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:31.359 spilling out of the low cut neckline. The swell of 356 00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:34.359 her breasts pushed up and together in a way that 357 00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:40.119 made my own boyish form binder feel positively modest. Where 358 00:26:40.200 --> 00:26:44.119 was the elastic webbing to flatten the tummy? Where was 359 00:26:44.160 --> 00:26:46.799 the binder to take down the chest and hide the 360 00:26:46.839 --> 00:26:50.559 form of her nipples? Her legs were bare and gleaming 361 00:26:50.759 --> 00:26:54.559 oiled or lotion to catch the light. She looked like 362 00:26:54.599 --> 00:26:59.160 a statue of modern sin and not a stalking insight. 363 00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:05.400 I thought we were scandalous, but these girls are walking 364 00:27:05.440 --> 00:27:10.119 around in their lingerie. I glanced at him. His eyes 365 00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:14.240 weren't just following her, they were anchored to her wide 366 00:27:14.359 --> 00:27:17.759 and startled, as if he'd just seen a ghost, a 367 00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:21.599 far more solid one than me. A hot, sharp prick 368 00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:26.480 of jealousy stung my chest. Is that what he wants? 369 00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:29.440 I wondered, my fingers twitching against the silk of my 370 00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:32.799 own skirt. If I unlaced the side straps, if I 371 00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:36.559 let the flattening bandeaux go and allowed my own concealed 372 00:27:36.599 --> 00:27:40.799 figure to breathe, would he look at me like that? 373 00:27:42.039 --> 00:27:45.000 Her hair fell in loose waves over her shoulders, her 374 00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:48.640 lips painted dark and wet, her eyes lined in black 375 00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:52.400 that made her look dangerous and exotic, the kind of 376 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:56.839 girl they warned you not to become, and secretly envied 377 00:27:56.880 --> 00:28:00.279 all the same. She looked like she was headed to 378 00:28:00.359 --> 00:28:04.000 a blind pig to dance with the devil. And no one, 379 00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:09.559 not a single person, not even the bulls, batted an eye. 380 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:15.960 But my mystery man was absolutely captivated for the first 381 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:19.240 time since nineteen twenty nine, I felt like I was 382 00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:23.119 the one wearing a costume. I looked down at myself, 383 00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:27.640 wondering if I should unhook my binder. My mystery man's 384 00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:32.279 eyes followed her, widening slightly. Then she walked straight through him. 385 00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:36.640 He gasped, stumbling back. His hand flew to his chest. 386 00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:41.400 For a moment, he just stood there, breathing hard, staring 387 00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:46.119 after her as she disappeared into the crowd. Then he 388 00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:50.960 shook his head once, as if clearing it, and kept walking. 389 00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:56.519 Instead of continuing toward the tower or the endless street, 390 00:28:56.880 --> 00:28:59.240 he made his way to a narrow storefront just a 391 00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:03.640 few paces away. Its wide windows blazed with light so 392 00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:06.200 fierce and many colored, it seemed to pulse like a 393 00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:10.759 living thing. Reds bleeding into violent purples, purples into indigo, 394 00:29:10.839 --> 00:29:14.599 than green, then yellow, than orange, pink so bright they 395 00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:18.920 stung the eyes, all smashed together a gaudy rainbow of 396 00:29:19.079 --> 00:29:23.119 dazzling light. The whole storefront looked like a carnival had 397 00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:29.119 mated with a bordello and produced something tawdry and shameless, cheap, alarming, 398 00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:34.400 And yet the colors pulled at something low in my belly. 399 00:29:35.319 --> 00:29:38.839 It was fascinating, to say the least. A sign above 400 00:29:38.839 --> 00:29:43.400 the door glowed in bold letters, adult books and videos 401 00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:49.359