WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, I'm bad. Listen. It was never love.

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<v Speaker 1>You heard me, It was never love.

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<v Speaker 2>Many of you think that when you meet certain people

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<v Speaker 2>and you're you know, you're jelling with them, you have

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<v Speaker 2>a good vibe with them, you feel connected to them.

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<v Speaker 2>Some of you instantly, instantly believe, oh, this is the one,

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<v Speaker 2>this is the one for me. You go off of looks,

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<v Speaker 2>you go off of once, desires, feelings, emotions, what people

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<v Speaker 2>have or what you think they have, their titles, their positions.

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<v Speaker 2>You see all of these things, but they're all superficial.

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<v Speaker 2>They have no substance when it comes to building a

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<v Speaker 2>foundation for a healthy, strong and loving relationship. But so

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<v Speaker 2>many people fall for the okie dope, so many people.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care who he is or who she is.

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<v Speaker 2>People will always, always, without fail show you who they are.

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<v Speaker 1>Subtle or not, they gonna show you who they are.

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<v Speaker 2>The red flags and the signs are always.

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<v Speaker 1>Always, always, always present present.

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<v Speaker 2>You can say you didn't see him, you can deny them,

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<v Speaker 2>you can reject them, you can be be oblivious to them,

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<v Speaker 2>but they are there. People also have intuition about things,

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<v Speaker 2>but they ignore their own intuition because they want who

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<v Speaker 2>they want. Oh, he looks good. Oh he's fine. Oh

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<v Speaker 2>she's gorgeous. None of that matters when it comes to

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<v Speaker 2>a healthy relationship. People are too wound up and tied

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<v Speaker 2>up and bound up by feelings and emotions.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh you feel so good.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh he makes me feel so good when we're just talking. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>she say the right things. It's not love. It's not love.

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<v Speaker 2>So a lot of people build their relationships on these false, superficial.

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<v Speaker 1>Things, and they get into relationships.

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<v Speaker 2>Then they find themselves with people who talk down to them,

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<v Speaker 2>cursing them out, calling them out of their name, all

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<v Speaker 2>types of foolishness, and they think it's love.

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<v Speaker 1>They think that's what they supposed to subject themselves to.

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<v Speaker 3>That is not love.

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<v Speaker 2>At all. But unfortunately, so many people think so. They

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<v Speaker 2>lie for these people in their lives. They lie for

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<v Speaker 2>them when they being abused, They lie when people disrespect

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<v Speaker 2>them and do them wrong. They still try to protect

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<v Speaker 2>these people. That's not love, it's not love. So many

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<v Speaker 2>people have lost their lives in these relationships because they thought.

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<v Speaker 1>It was love.

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<v Speaker 2>They thought, oh, he will never do this to me

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<v Speaker 2>or she will never do that to me, until they did,

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<v Speaker 2>and now they're not here to tell the story. Many

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<v Speaker 2>people endure abuse, but they never tell. Some people never

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<v Speaker 2>get the opportunity to tell because they end up dying

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<v Speaker 2>in their relationships. Some people tell when they're at that

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<v Speaker 2>point they don't want that relationship anymore, they'll tell. But

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<v Speaker 2>some people go through it and they pretend that everything

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<v Speaker 2>is okay, but they're hurting their suffering, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's very heartbreaking.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's also very true because people view love as

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<v Speaker 2>something that is just is not If you don't know

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<v Speaker 2>anything else in this world, you should have sense enough

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<v Speaker 2>to understand and know that abuse in any form.

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<v Speaker 1>Is not love. A person don't have to physically assault

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<v Speaker 1>you to abuse you.

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<v Speaker 2>When you allow your significant other to talk to you

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<v Speaker 2>any kind of way, calling you names.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>Some of you get on these social.

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<v Speaker 2>Media platforms and you degrade each other.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, that is not love.

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<v Speaker 2>That is not a healthy relationship. That is very toxic.

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<v Speaker 2>Too many people get on these social media platforms and

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<v Speaker 2>display their business.

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<v Speaker 1>Too many people are doing any.

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<v Speaker 2>And everything for cliques, for subscriptions, for money.

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<v Speaker 1>It has nothing to do with love.

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing I remember back in the day, and it's probably

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<v Speaker 2>still going on. People will get married in the military,

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<v Speaker 2>they would get married legally.

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<v Speaker 1>Married for.

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<v Speaker 2>You know the bha baq whatever it's called nowadays, people

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<v Speaker 2>will get married because of that. But it was not love.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just an arrangement.

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<v Speaker 1>So there are many.

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<v Speaker 2>Many reasons people get together that has nothing to do

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<v Speaker 2>with love. But some people really think they're in love.

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<v Speaker 2>But I tell you it is not love. If it's

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<v Speaker 2>abusive in any way, it's not love. If they're disrespecting

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<v Speaker 2>you and doing it when no qualms, it's not love.

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<v Speaker 2>Qualms are not your significant others shouldn't be disrespecting you,

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<v Speaker 2>calling you out of your name, be little in you.

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<v Speaker 2>That is not love. You should not be doing it

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<v Speaker 2>to your significant other. That is not love.

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<v Speaker 1>That's toxic.

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<v Speaker 2>Some of you are in relationships that's where your significant

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<v Speaker 2>other is taking advantage of you.

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<v Speaker 1>You know why, because you've taught him or her too.

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<v Speaker 2>You taught them to take advantage of you because the

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<v Speaker 2>first time they did it, you accepted it, so therefore

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<v Speaker 2>you taught them. Some of you try to buy your

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<v Speaker 2>way into your relationship. You think, oh, if I shower

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<v Speaker 2>him with this or shower her with that, they will

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<v Speaker 2>love me more. No, they just will want more. They

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<v Speaker 2>won't love you more. They will want more.

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<v Speaker 1>From you.

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<v Speaker 2>Because it's not love. It's not love at all. Some

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<v Speaker 2>of you are literally forced into your relationships by your parents,

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<v Speaker 2>or your friends or someone else. You don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>be with that person. Some of you you don't even

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<v Speaker 2>love that person, but you're forcing into those relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>It is not love.

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<v Speaker 2>The truth gonna come out when you don't love a person,

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<v Speaker 2>The truth is going to come out. They're gonna treat

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<v Speaker 2>you bad in some form or another. The truth is

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<v Speaker 2>gonna come out. But most people in this world. When

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<v Speaker 2>I say the world, I mean the world. Most people

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<v Speaker 2>in this entire world are in one sided relationships. One

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<v Speaker 2>person oftentimes really really care or in their own minds

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<v Speaker 2>love the individuals that they're with, but that the other person.

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<v Speaker 1>They're not feeling it, they're not having it.

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<v Speaker 2>They're in it to get what they can get, or

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<v Speaker 2>they're in it because they have an agenda. You have

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<v Speaker 2>to love yourself enough to be able to see the

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<v Speaker 2>truth and walk away. See some of you think it's love.

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<v Speaker 2>Then you get into these very toxic relationships where and

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<v Speaker 2>when you want to walk away, you can. You're afraid

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<v Speaker 2>to go, you're afraid to stay. I've talked about this,

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<v Speaker 2>you think that's good. You're afraid to go, you're afraid

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<v Speaker 2>to stay. Matter of fact, do you think it's good

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<v Speaker 2>being afraid at all?

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<v Speaker 1>In your relationship?

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<v Speaker 2>If you're want someone and you're afraid of him or

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<v Speaker 2>you're afraid of her, you cannot think that's good or

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<v Speaker 2>it's okay. Something is wrong with that picture. When you're

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<v Speaker 2>in a relationship and you're doing the work, something is

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<v Speaker 2>wrong with that picture.

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<v Speaker 1>But see, some of you will.

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<v Speaker 3>Do anything, anything for what you think is love, when

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<v Speaker 3>love has absolutely nothing to do with it.

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>People are in terrible situations because they think it's love.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't know what love is. When you don't love yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>you do not know what love is. It's irrefutable. The

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<v Speaker 2>things you think is love is not love. You think

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<v Speaker 2>love is based on just emotions and feelings, feeling good.

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<v Speaker 1>Love is so much more than that. But it is never, ever,

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<v Speaker 1>ever abusive.

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<v Speaker 2>When a person say I love you and they turn

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<v Speaker 2>around and disrespect you from the same lips, you better

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<v Speaker 2>check yourself. You better check yourself because you are empowering

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<v Speaker 2>that person to treat.

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<v Speaker 1>You that way.

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<v Speaker 2>At the first sign of abuse, you do nothing. You

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<v Speaker 2>continue on in that relationship. The same thing that made

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<v Speaker 2>you smile will make you cry. I promise you. I

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<v Speaker 2>promise you. On everything, the same thing that made you smile,

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<v Speaker 2>that made you laugh, will make you cry. Many people

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<v Speaker 2>or than not, are in one side of relationships and

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<v Speaker 2>they're just settling. They're just settling. You always get what

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<v Speaker 2>you allow. You're always treated the way you've taught people

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<v Speaker 2>that they can treat you. If you allow it, they're

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<v Speaker 2>going to do it. But it has nothing to do

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<v Speaker 2>with love. You don't love yourself. If you are allowing

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<v Speaker 2>people to do terrible things to you, you don't love yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>If you allow people to talk to you any kind

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<v Speaker 2>of way and treat you any kind of way, you

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<v Speaker 2>don't love yourself. They certainly don't love themselves, but you

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<v Speaker 2>don't love yourself either. You just think you do. Most

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<v Speaker 2>people think they love themselves, but reality is they don't.

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<v Speaker 2>You can see it in their choices and decisions. You

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<v Speaker 2>can see it in what they are allowed and accept.

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<v Speaker 2>Any mistreatment from someone who supposedly love you falls on

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<v Speaker 2>you because you teach him or her how to treat you.

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<v Speaker 1>You create that monster in your life.

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<v Speaker 2>You do by what you allow, in accept what you

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<v Speaker 2>go along with you create that monster in your life.

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<v Speaker 2>And many people listen to me right now have monsters

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<v Speaker 2>in their lives, and.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you it's almost hard to get rid.

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<v Speaker 2>Of them because what you allow on accept is what

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<v Speaker 2>people will expect. If you have no requirements, you get

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<v Speaker 2>what you get. If you have no boundaries, you get

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<v Speaker 2>what you get. Because you paved the way, you set

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<v Speaker 2>the standards, you open the door. But none of that

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<v Speaker 2>is love. A person that loves you and you love

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<v Speaker 2>that person, that's what it is love. You have to

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<v Speaker 2>love him or her. He or she must love you.

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<v Speaker 1>There is love and being in love.

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<v Speaker 2>Both of those are necessary for a healthy relationship. When

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<v Speaker 2>you say you love someone and all you're doing is

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<v Speaker 2>bickering than fighting, you don't understand it. You don't understand

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<v Speaker 2>what love is. That's what people think is love. But

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<v Speaker 2>love is none of those things. Love isn't brutal, it's

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<v Speaker 2>not cruel, it's not disrespectful, it's not distrusts. And then

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<v Speaker 2>you know, people wonder, well, why my kids acting this way?

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<v Speaker 2>Because of what they see their parents doing. They see

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<v Speaker 2>all of the disrespect and the brutality within the home.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why they're acting the way they do. People don't

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<v Speaker 2>understand the devastation they cause children then they grow up

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<v Speaker 2>to be just like their parents, a lot of them. See,

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<v Speaker 2>at some point people have to decide to be better

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<v Speaker 2>for themselves, not for anyone else, for themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to want change in your life for you.

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<v Speaker 2>But like I said many times before, many people will

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<v Speaker 2>never reach that level because they're too busy looking outward.

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<v Speaker 2>The person they neglect the most is self when you

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<v Speaker 2>carry you around every single place you go, because the

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<v Speaker 2>one person you can't get rid of is you. You

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<v Speaker 2>can't get rid of yourself, you can depart from yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>So people spend most of their lives faking and pretending

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<v Speaker 2>and looking outward for things that they should be looking

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<v Speaker 2>in work for.

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<v Speaker 1>I've told you many times also that.

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<v Speaker 2>To be a person who enjoy good on the outside,

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<v Speaker 2>it will take inside work first, because all of those

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<v Speaker 2>negative things that you are creates that mindset that you have.

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<v Speaker 2>All the bad experience that you've you've gone through and

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<v Speaker 2>you're holding onto those.

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<v Speaker 1>Memories creates the mindset that you have.

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<v Speaker 2>So you take all of your junk and you compile

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<v Speaker 2>it with the junk people bring into your life, and

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<v Speaker 2>it just make you worse, It makes them worse. No

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<v Speaker 2>one is growing mentally, no one is matured. Because most

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<v Speaker 2>people think they're already matured. They you can't tell them

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<v Speaker 2>they're not. You can't tell people they don't love themselves.

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<v Speaker 2>They will be highly offended. But it's the truth. And

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<v Speaker 2>as I said in the beginning of this episode, so

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<v Speaker 2>many people are in relationships that has cost them their lives.

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<v Speaker 2>So many people are in relationships right now listening to

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<v Speaker 2>me that are very, very toxic.

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<v Speaker 1>Why would you want that for yourself? You think that's love.

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<v Speaker 2>You think you love yourself by subjecting yourself to this turmoil.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not love for the other person or for yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>You can take it for whatever it's worth to you,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm just telling you the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>It is not love.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people are together, and they've been together, bickering and

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<v Speaker 2>fighting and carrying on for so long.

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<v Speaker 1>Now there's hate.

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<v Speaker 2>They remain together, but there's hate in their hearts.

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<v Speaker 1>For one another because love was never there. You're not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna push out love. When it's love, real love, you're

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<v Speaker 1>not pushing that away. But because love was never there,

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<v Speaker 1>now hate.

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<v Speaker 2>Has settled in and all they do is bicker and fight,

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<v Speaker 2>bicker and fight, bicker and fight because they.

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<v Speaker 1>Have resentment and regret on the.

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<v Speaker 2>Inside for that other person, and they just go like

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<v Speaker 2>cats back and forth all the time because there's resentment.

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<v Speaker 1>And hate build up now because love was never there.

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<v Speaker 2>They went off of emotions and feelings, wants and desires,

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<v Speaker 2>looks and all of those superficial things.

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<v Speaker 1>Love was never in the equation.

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<v Speaker 2>And many are living right now this way.

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<v Speaker 1>No love.

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<v Speaker 2>Care, you know, because you don't want to see anybody

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<v Speaker 2>hurt or any of that.

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<v Speaker 1>But you're not in love with them.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people don't even have that because they're the ones

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<v Speaker 2>who will kill you and have. Many people have died

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<v Speaker 2>at the hands of the ones who say they love them.

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<v Speaker 2>Many So I just want you to think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>You think about it. You don't have to tell anyone else.

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<v Speaker 2>You think about your life. What are you contributing to

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<v Speaker 2>your situation? What did you allow and accept? How have

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<v Speaker 2>you talked him or her? How they can treat you,

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<v Speaker 2>Because it all goes back to you. What you're in,

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<v Speaker 2>You signed up for what you're getting. You have allowed

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<v Speaker 2>in some fashion or the other.

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<v Speaker 1>So it is you who.

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<v Speaker 2>Have to take responsibility and accountability for your life. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>leaving it right there. Please share much love to you

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<v Speaker 2>and you and you. If you want to reach out

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<v Speaker 2>to me, you can always reach out to me. Go

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<v Speaker 2>to my podcast page. I can tell you my email.

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<v Speaker 2>I will respond. Also, check out my new podcast which

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<v Speaker 2>is called From the Heart to the Heart by Cherry.

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<v Speaker 1>Check it out and share

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<v Speaker 2>Much love in every episode of the same And I

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<v Speaker 2>pray you do it, think on it.